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#mental breakdown

Dont date a mentally unstable person if you can’t handle with the mood swings, the anxiety, the pain, the fair, and everything they feel because they will feel more bad than before and maybe they will hurt themselves or worse just because you couldn’t handle with them.

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Ciclicamente installo Tinder, così, giusto per noia.

Ieri sera sarà stata la quinta volta. Di solito faccio qualche chiacchierata e la mattina seguente ho già disinstallato tutto.

Ieri sera nemmeno una chiacchierata.

Ad ogni foto che mi compariva mettevo una X o perché non mi piaceva o perché anche se mi piaceva mi veniva l'ansietta di non aver cosa dire, di cadere in un vortice di parole vuote, disinteressate, superficiali.

Quelli che per me sono stati negli anni dieci minuti di frivolezza, ieri sera sono stati minuti interminabili di inadeguatezza.

Due minuti e ho disinstallato, non ho letto nessun messaggio delle mie amiche, mi sono distaccata da tutto, mi sono addormentata ma ho dormito male.

Sto toccando il fondo con questa nuova zona rossa.

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I feel so strange. Sometimes I think it would be better if I was not there. It would be easier for everyone if I wasn’t there. I know that this is a very strange thought and that it is bad to think about it, but there is nothing I can do about it. In my life, in general, everything is fine, but for some reason I still feel lost and wrong. It’s a very stupid feeling when everything seems to be fine, but you still don’t feel that everything is fine.

Oh, what can I do about it? Can anyone help me with some advice?

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Hey guys this is ever heavy note not involving any games but family.

My brother suffers from serve depression and suicide thought and I know many others do too and I think this might help anyone who would like to know.

He used to do alot of self harm back a year of 2 ago and I’ve been trying to help him thought it. It started off really bad to the point I had to move half way across the country so we didn’t keep conflicting due I also suffer from serve Anxiety and depression.

When I finally did come back home my little brother and I made a deal of a sort. When ever he thought he was going to hurt himself he would bring me all of his knives and weapons.

And I am to hide them away until I believe he is good to have them back.


And he does the same for me when I feel my lowest low I go and get pericings as my way to cope. He comes with me to make sure I’m alright. So I’m very thankful for him and I’m glad he trust me enough to had over something which he used as an escape from the world

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One of the biggest things I’ve learned in 2020 is you cannot tell your business and pain to everyone. Some people dead ass want to be you, some people don’t have your best interests, some people intentionally or unintentionally get a thrill off hurting you whether it’s in your face or behind closed doors, etc.

Be careful who you are vulnerable with because some people are fucked up.

Don’t put people on pedestals either, because you’re sparring your own feelings. People will disappoint you.

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So I ate today.

I ate and I ate and I ate.

I don’t want to be me anymore.

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If only tonight could be the night that suicide would win and peace could finally be given.

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Originally posted by yoshifan30

Ima vent to Abby make them freak out because I’m going to type “I’m done” and then “I’m better off dead” to really get that heart beat going and they won’t want to leave the friendship because they let people walk all over them in fear of them leaveing, What’s the fucking harm in that then im going to bother them until they google meet with me and make them think I’m going to kms. I need them to make sure there meantly weak.

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I love panicking about the upcoming week when I shouldn’t

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Can someone from the smart side of tumblr please explain to me why, as an accounting major, I need to take calculus? If I’m going to get a job at a top 3 accounting firm and use Excel to figure out gains and losses for clients and balance their revenues/expenses, when will I ever need to use a velocity function? Or the first derivative? Or literally anything in calc besides a cost function that Excel will do for me? I understand that it makes a school’s curriculum look more ‘prestigious’ but what the fuck?

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i push people away from me because it is safe.

it makes me feel invincible to be alone

but i don’t think about other people

they must be feeling so lonely and hurt.

and i get into these moods every couple days.

i used to think it was my medication making me emotional

but then it just hits me and i start crying

and i can’t stop it.

i want to know what’s wrong with me

so badly.

i just want to be happy like i was yesterday

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how motherfucking dare i use nounself pronouns how fucking dare I oh i’m invalidating trans people? oh okay fine. legit fucking leave me the actual fuck alone I can use whatever pronouns I fucking want, they make me happy and i feel good when they;re used. Sure i identify as a fucking planet or a crayon to some people but like also fuck off they’re my fucking pronouns not fucking yours. My pronouns make you uncomfy, bitch you dont have to talk to me. And furthermore fuck off about my pink hair. and yeah i know i wanted to kill muself yesterday what of it i got guilt tripped by my fucking family because i didnt wanna watch hell’s kitchen with them and iw anted to be on a call with my partners. News fucking flash i am a moither fucking teenager!!! so liek fuck off. Oh and i have to call my dad today and be like, hey you’re getting married and moving five states away and you told your three kids they weren’t enough for you and furthermore you broke the promise you made to me when i was 8 and you brought back up trauma from when you abandoned me when i was six but like best of fucking wishes to you buddy. Best fucking wishes. in short let me live my fucking life that i hardly wanna fucking live. I have no will to live if you’[ve noticed. but of course they don’t beacsue i’m just the fucking scapegoat, i’m the retarded fucking problem child who should fuck off and die because god forbid im autistic, dyslexic, depressed, have DID and a number of other things. Sorry I don’t wanna be the fuck alive maybe next time I should just go with my gut and kill myself, but if i do then i’m the selfish one. FUCKING PICK ONE MOM DO YOU WANT ME HERE OR DO YOU WANT ME DEAD. and for the record i’m not going to kill myself, I “have too much to live for” though imo i have nothing to live for. The staff at school hates me, and i bet they wish i was dead, and i hate myself. when your day starts off with someone invalidating your pronouns and then from there gets progressivly worse, you say something petty which was meant to be a jooke and then it morphed into something that was totally whack and out of hand and your mom dosent feel well so you couldn’t call your dad and you wonder weather or not you you should even fucking bother at this point, your coping mechinism got invaliated and you have no idea what in the name of god’s green earth to do. Additionally thanks to the whole situation with your copng mechanisem when someone from a system who your dating and are inpartners whips with people ion an altar comes out of dormancy you won;t be able to use a coping mechanim anymore because people are assoholes and you literally need to shower and you’ve only eaten popcron as a meal today and you’re sweaty as fuck and literally just want someone else to take contorl fro a while so you can stop worrying abou things it-it’s been a day-

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Jetzt wo ich etwas abgenommen habe, bekomme ich von jeder Person, die mich länger nicht gesehen hat, gesagt bekommen wie dünn ich doch geworden bin und früher war ich die dicke, die zu viel isst. Ich werde gefragt, ob ich überhaupt esse und ob ich mich wohl fühle dabei möchte ich noch nicht mal hören, dass ich zu dünn sei, da ich es nicht bin! Das ist genau das gleiche, wie jemandem zu sagen, dass es zu dick ist!

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The past weeks it’s been a bit hard. There were good and bad days. Overall am I not good. Even in my happy moments I have dark thoughts. I feel like it’s just a matter of time.

𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

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