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#mental health

Hello Lovelies! 

Hope you are safe during this time. I know things are tough for everyone right now.

This week I’ve got a few updates for you: some sketches from my sketchbook, and (if I finish all my assignments in time) the she-ra comic I’m working on.

Updates will be up-and-down next week (and have been last week) due to the onslaught of assignments I have.

I only have one assignment left for the week – my Old English translation –, and then I can share some more art and uplifting content with you.

Keep safe, be kind to yourself, and know you’re much loved.

Always yours,


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So ever since the med increase I’ve noticed more bleh

Like I’m toooo stable and think everyone else is looney

It’s a challenge cause it then makes me panicky

I’ve decided I dont want children

I dont want to pass along their dads alcoholism and my mental health

It wouldn’t be fair

But we can probably get more fur babies!!!!

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Time are hard and a lot of us might be experiencing anxiety for the first time. So here are some tips for managing anxiety.

  • BREATHE. This is probably the most important tip. You don’t need to take deep breaths. It’s important to just try and breathe normally and through your nose when you’re anxious. Once the anxiety has gone, then take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down.
  • Grounding techniques for eg. counting backwards, classifying the things around you into 2-3 categories, holding an ice and focusing on the sensation it gives, etc
  • Use reaffirmations
  • Tell yourself that its okay, you will be okay and that you’re safe. Comfort yourself.
  • Acknowledge your fear and reassure or comfort the part of you that’s scared.
  • If none of these techniques work and your anxiety is still persisting, then try distracting yourself. It gives a little relief for some time. Watch a tv show, play with a pet, speak to a friend, draw/colour, etc

I hope these tips help with the anxiety caused by the current situation. Please take care of yourselves, physically and mentally.

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On a positive note, I had a phone call doctors appointment this afternoon as a follow up about my ADHD inquiries, and my doctor not only agrees that yeah, I definitely have it, but sounds like I probably have an anxiety disorder too, and he’s going to refer me to a psychiatrist, which should maybe take about a month to get an appointment with (although it’ll likely also be a phone appointment at this rate). He also said he was choosing to take this route instead of jumping straight to maybe prescribing me something himself because this way I’ll have a professional diagnosis in my hand when I waltz into a new provincial healthcare system later this year (ideally, but who knows when now!), so I don’t have to basically start this process over, OR try new medications and not have the same doctor for the monitoring and follow up and have to start fresh with that too. Which is great because I probably won’t have a family doctor for a while after we get do move so thanks, Greg.

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Hey, do you mind explaining your last post. I feel like i get it but i also don't get it.

Sometimes one gets advice that is like “choose to be happy!” “try to be happy” “fake it ‘till you make it!” and it can be very jarring to hear that if you are really depressed. 

I remember when I turned 15 I was depressed. On my birthday I felt really alone and I kept crying. I think I cried for about 5hrs straight. On that day I felt so hopeless, and unloved, and horrible, and alone… I tried to cheer myself up but to no avail. I remember going for a run so that I would get some endorphins to make myself feel better, but it didn’t work and I continued to bawl my eyes out the entire run. Sometimes trying to just ‘be positive!’ doesn’t work. I wanted to throw myself into the river and let the water take me someplace else. 

So it’s really easy to disregard advice like that because sometimes you have really deep rooted issues that cannot just be willed away. This is especially true if you live in an abusive household like I did at the time.

But it’s actually not always bad advice. We often can get into negative thought patterns; focus on the bad, and disregard the good, in our lives. Especially right now with the pandemic, all of us feel oppressed by bad news.

Yesterday my best friend messaged me while I was feeling really shitty and on the brink of being dissociative. I could have talked about how bad I felt, which I already do enough of with him, but instead I decided to interact positively with him. We ended up talking about making a pc game about turtles and by the end of the conversation I felt genuine happiness. 

Whilst I think it’s important to let out our frustrations and speak our pain, there’s definitely a point at which it is no longer beneficial for us to do so and we can sometimes focus on something else instead.

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For the past 2 weeks, I have been getting clear signs of heading towards burnout. I’m having nightmares again. I’m irritable. I’m not finding joy on my witchcraft path.

I’m changing my work schedule around because otherwise? I’ll have a repeat of 2016. That was absolutely horrific.

Please keep therapists, social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists in your thoughts because we are stressed and overwhelmed with this pandemic, too. We have family members we’re scared of getting this virus, too. We’re having trouble sleeping, too. We’re adjusting to a new normal, too.

We’re human. Not Gods on Mt. Olympus basking in the sun and being fed grapes while being fanned as we look on and pity the average mortal. Please remember this.

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Sometimes I’m amazed that I used to doubt that I’m mentally ill. Yesterday, one (1) person (true to form) belittled me and paid no heed to what I had to say, and my brain decided that the correct way to deal with this was to turn on the self-loathing to max and also suggest many times that I find the nearest lake in which to drown myself

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Would you be interested in joining me for an after hours live 35 min workout?!?

My goal is help others who may be struggling with sleeping during “normal hours” while we’re all in lockdown.

Let me know in the comments below or send me a direct messsage!

I hope you all are staying indoors, sanitizing and staying calm. Healthy and safety to you all.

Peace & Love

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