✨️ feeling your feelings ✨️
Who else hates it?
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Comic from my senior thesis about psychosis recovery
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THE SECRET (AKA DIET CULTURE)
It is amazing to me how early we are indoctrinated. Even as tiny children, we were taught that there are 'good' and 'bad' foods. But food has no actual moral value. Certainly different foods affect us in different ways, but they are not inherently good or bad.
As people socialised as women, a certain amount of self loathing seems to be expected of us. I already had the building blocks in place simply from existing as a girl in society, so once I developed an eating disorder it was only a small step to lean into the 'pro-ana' websites that taught deeply unhealthy ways to stay not just thin, but dangerously underweight. At the time it felt validating, like these websites were telling me some truth that the rest of the world wanted to hide from me. I learned some awful behaviours, but most of all, I learned that at the centre of it all was hating myself as much as possible.
I'm still unlearning, even after being eating disorder free for 7 years. It takes daily work. But every now and then, when I eat ice cream without feeling guilty or exercise to feel good instead of as a punishment, I am astounded by my progress.
(this was originally posted to my socials - you can find me @khalemchurst).
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"Oh god, oh shit, I don't have enough compassionate empathy for this, uhhhhhhhhh-"
Hey, do me a favor. If you're gonna vent to someone, ASK FIRST. The amount of times my friends have suddenly and completely out of the blue started venting about their lives, and then simultaneously not given a shit about my life or my struggles, is too often to count.
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