Thanks to those who keep us alive. Thanks God for sustenance. It was a good thrill after all. We have been so blessed even up to this day that we are still enjoying what we have.
But to say the truth? I just really wished we could a little more than what we have now. Or shall i say, i wish we have even a little more money left of us to buy food.
I only have enough to pay the internet connection for this month to keep my job. Thanks God i paid the electicity too, to keep the job. But we have nothing more to buy our food for today. Not even a penny. Good thing we have received some kilos of rice from the brgy. I am grateful for it. Eventhough our pets have no more food, they have rice to eat. Eventhough i cant even swallow the tap water, i have water that i think is safe. Eventhough we dont have any viand to pair with our rice, we have rice to fill ourselves in. No alcohol. No junkfoods. No coffee. No party. No chocolates. No energy drink. No soap. No shampoo. Nada. No good times. Well we have God whom i cant wait to surprise us again and again of His Will.
Let me explain
I am a hardworking employee. I earn 13k a month minus all the govt benefits that i have to pay myself. I receive a little over 6k whenever i render an overtime and obviously less than that when there isnt and in regular days. Nah. No one will believe that, i work in a call center and there is no way im earning that low. Wtf.
Okay, and i have to pay the electricity of our main house and my brothers house beside ours. And our water supply. And our food. And now the internet.
And everyone hates me for being so strict. I hope they would know im just all fucked up, caught up of all the shits of our life. No one wants to be around me, even my family. Everyone feels awkward when im around and wud choose to transfer place without me. Tss.
But i cant stop. Kahit gustong gusto ko ng mamatay nalang to ease every pain i have. Well, ako lang naman si Roynald. Masarap ang naging buhay nyan. Walang sakrispisyo. Mayaman. Madaming kaibigan. Makinis ang balat. Maputi. Malakas. Hindi nawawalan ng pera. Lahat kaya nyang gawin. Matalino. Kumakanta, sumasayaw, umaakto. Nagtuturo sa school. Nagtuturo ng teatro. Youth leader. HR officer. Magaling mag english. Damn. I hope u can know, everything was just a reaction from all my pain and Gods blessings.
And now suffering from anxiety. Mental problem. Loneliness. Isolated. Busted. Fucked. Broke.
To cut all this for short, i need money to move on with my life and with my family and those homeless families I dreamed to shelter and help since day 1.
I gonna get my ass work. I cant die so i pray even more to endure. Get back to my senses. Pull myself together. And be me because im already good as i am.