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#mental illness

Today marks 100 days of me being sober. I never thought I’d be able to do it, I honestly thought I’d be in my room drinking my life away until it inevitability kills me. It hasn’t been easy at all, especially with the whole world kinda falling apart, but I have to say I’m in a much better mind space without it. Drinking sure felt comfortable but I feel a lot more comfortable now without it. I used to spend every day drinking whenever I could, it used to take up at least half of my day (I don’t have a life due to mental illness and anxiety so I stay home all the time) and if someone was so invite me out usually I would choose drinking over seeing someone. It can become so consuming. (Now here’s the positive speech) if I can do it then it’s definitely not impossible for you to do it. Yes, it is a slow and a hard road to finally quit but if you really want it then it is possible. I say ‘really want it’ because for a lot of the time I was drinking I didn’t want to stop, it was something that made me feel safe and controlled my mood swings, but in the end it really didn’t help me and I’m so glad (I think) I’m out of it.


I’m so sorry if I have followers that are reading this still down the dark hole of using alcohol to temporarily fix their problems, it’s such a hard battle to fight, but I have hope that you can win that fight.

If anyone wants to message me about coping with trying to quit then you can ✨

I love you all, stay safe.

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no i honestly hate myself , sure i don’t say it or show it but i do .. i just doo okay 
and honestly i can’t tell how much it eats me up inside this thing it’s just there in my heart i can feel it a strange heaviness and i don’t know how to get rid of it and this longing emptiness … no one get’s it really but simple words its like you have all the oxygen in the room but your suffocated to breathe not cause your resisting because of your sadness it legit makes it so hard for you to breathe it really hurts man .. it really hurts 

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I know I’m cryptic, and I’m worthless
Can’t helping losing a friend
I don’t wanna die so young
Got so much to do ~ @depressed-mf

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I wake up every day in a state of utter panic. Logging onto my Twitter or Facebook feed causes anxiety. What will happen today, what disaster is going to plague us today? Dealing with mental illness isn’t easy even on a normal day but add onto it all that’s happening in the world around us and it’s exponentially worse. Tack on personal problems and you may as well count me out for the next year. It weighs heavy on my heart and heavier on my mind. I feel trapped and unable to breathe but I keep going because there’s nothing else for me to do. For anyone else who is dealing with mental health issues during this time you are not alone. We’re all in this together. There are people out here every day who are suffering just like you and who understand what you’re going through. Reach out, talk, listen and learn.

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think I’ll just get a good ole shotgun then save up for an AR because I’d rather have something while I’m waiting, unless I find a used AR cheap as shit but doubt it at this time

also it’s honestly stupid as shit that it’s illegal to carry a butterfly knife or baton in public but open carrying is fine, like knives literally aren’t dangerous but how the fuck it a butterfly knife any more dangerous than a normal knife? It’s literally all based on shitty action movies where the Yakuza uses butterfly knives, same with the mafia and switch blades. 

Every weapon should be legal to open carry in every state. I get not allowing concealed carry without a license but everyone with a drivers license who hasn’t been forced into a mental hospital and isn’t felon should be able to carry any weapon they want in public. 

We need to bring back firearms training in schools. Kids shouldn’t be mystified by guns, they’re the ones who end up accidentally killing themselves or someone else when their friend shows them their dad’s guns.

Every kid should at the very least know how to use each different class of common firearms as well as know how to safely load and unload them.

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To my depression

Oh how are you?

My dearest friend

Oh how I’ve missed you

I’ve been so good

I’ve had the loveliest of times

In your absence

But now you’ve returned

And I have begun my descent

Back into the warm sting of your embrace

To the taunts and abrasions

Of those familiar conversations

I feel like I’m drowning

In a head full of pesticide

But at least I’m not alone

With you by my side

How could I ever have walked through this life without you?

How could I ever have breathed without your permission?

You’ve reclaimed your position

As my obsession

And powerless I watch

As I begin my regression

Back to my depression

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Mental illness tip on being productive -

It’s hard for me to be productive early in the day. But I can bust ass in the evening and get a whole bunch of stuff done.

Figure out the time that works best for you.

Even if that means watching tv for a few hours after you wake up and then doing chores.

Or in my case, I have to get up and leave the house in the morning (even just a trip to the gas station for an energy drink) and then I feel like I can start my day.

We all have 24 hours in the day. Don’t feel like you have to be productive for all of it. Take breaks and set time blocks for what you want to do.

It helps.

ALSO positive music has a really big impact on me personally. Put on you’re happy tunes when doing chores to make it easier. Dance a little while doing it. Sing your favorite song when it comes on.

Don’t struggle with mental illness alone. Speak up if you need to.

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Haven’t had a good start to my day today.  I like, no, I need routine.  My OCD requires it.  

Well, I skipped my shower this morning.  I just kept putting it off and putting it off till the time frame I could get it done in was practically gone.  I just really didn’t want to do it and that’s no excuse in my opinion.  When I got up to change I still could have.  If I would have just skipped cleaning up the bathroom a bit ahead of time, I still could have, but I didn’t.  I don’t even know why.  I really wanted to by that point.  I just didn’t.

Now the guilt I feel, yes guilt, is overwhelming.  I feel like I’ve been breaking my self care streak and letting myself down.  When I picked up my phone to look at my calendar, I’m thinking, well, it’s probably been at least a couple of weeks since I decided (on purpose that time) to take a day off so I could take a nice morning drive to the library.  Nope, it’s been 1 week exactly.

I know I should just take this as a lesson to keep up with my routines whether I feel like it or not, but I just feel miserable.  I know I’ll be beating myself up over it the rest of the day now till I can get one and start back up again tomorrow.  I am NOT going to let myself do this again.  I’ve worked too hard for my routines!

It feels really good and like a major sense of accomplishment when I’m able to push through the tough mornings, or afternoons for exercise, or cravings.  Those things aren’t easy for someone with mental illness.  Things that should seem so simple just aren’t.  I fight for what I achieve, even if I don’t always think it’s enough.

I want to start exercising again this Sunday.  (I wanted to start this week, but as I said, not as easy as it should seem to find that routine again.  Not that that’s always an easy one for anyone, lol.)  I just need to reach deep down and find that fight in me again.  That drive to continue accomplishing my goals, no matter how small.  

I WILL do this!  I CAN do this!  And tomorrow is a new day to do it right.

Such is life.

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I hate that I’m feeling like this, incredibly anxious and depressed, right before my first college course since 2016. I’m afraid of failing because of it. That’s what’s happened multiple times before. I had to medically withdraw from every class the last semester I was in school. It’s not fair.

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The Family you deserved
by DanMan48

Izuku was abused and never knew his dad’s brother’s side of the family. Now that his parents are dead he is in the care of his uncle the number two hero Enji. Watch as Izuku becomes a quirkless hero and gets a new family

Words: 510, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534181

More Izuku Stories
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