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#mental illness
randomreasonstolive · 2 days ago
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Reason to Live #6545
 To fall asleep to thunder.  – Guest Submission
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bpdohwhatajoy · 19 hours ago
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I’m so fucking exhausted. I’m so fucking burned out. I spend my life and have for god knows how many years helping everyone around me. Giving my all to people who don’t offer so much as a smidgen of compassion in return. Left to suffer alone. People don’t care about me. They care about the listening and validation I provide. No one actually cares about me. No one wants to get to know ME. Fp’s use me for their own self betterment. Friends use me to get validation they’ve never had. I’m a shell. A shell that puts on a mask when once again duty calls.
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punkpandapatrixk · a day ago
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Possessing a dangerous quality within is not a bad thing. The world is often uncompromisingly bad, if you don't have what it takes to survive it, you're a dead meat.
'A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control.' — Dr Jordan Peterson
[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
Pile 1 - X—Ray Vision
III The Empress, 9 of Wands Rx
Priestess of Faith & Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)
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You are a person who can see what you need in life and you're not afraid to fulfil yourself before everyone else. If you think you aren't resonating with this, it could be that you've been hard at work suppressing this because you think it's SELFISH.
But the problem here, because you're suppressing a lot of your more selfish nature, you really can be quite vindictive. Judgemental at best, but secretly vindictive if you allow yourself to be.
If you're already selfish: you're the type who can trample other people just to get what you want. If you're not yet this selfish: you're like the main character of The Devil Wears Prada, Andy Sachs. She thinks she isn't like Miranda Priestly; heck, she thinks she's the complete opposite of her. But we all know deep down she possesses the same quality as Miranda! And she did become Miranda at some point, before waking up to her folly.
Your x-ray vision really comes from your smart brain, I hope you know and appreciate that. As for whether or not it is okay to be SELFISH or not okay to be so powerful, only you can decide what you want to be. But remember: this world is inconsistent and people are often dubious. There are many out there who's gonna be more than happy to destroy and see you fail.
The more important question is: how are you going to thrive in a world such as this without losing yourself?
Advice for finding your balance🔻💚
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Pile 2 - False Empathy
King of Cups, Knight of Pentacles Rx
Priestess of Intuition & Gold Astrologer (Simon Forman)
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Have you ever come across the term Dark Empath? It's a thing. But if you ask me, I'm just gonna say dark empaths are pretty much a copy of the infamous narcissists. A lesser narcissist, perhaps. Still a dangerous thing. Because—and I hope you're aware of this yourself—your strongest suit in your arcana of manipulation is your heightened sense of intuition, which you take advantage of this in the most infuriatingly unapologetic manner.
You have an almost too natural ability to see how people tick. Sad people, are especially easy to read. Empaths of the Light will use such an ability to develop compassion and patience with others. A Dark Empath? It's a whole of another story. And that's scary. Because you almost don't see anything wrong with your conduct. It's too natural to you.
FYI, many Cancer Suns (especially males) are good at using their intuition for negative pursuits—that's how they become known as the world's biggest fuckups. And fuckboys, yep. Scorpio Moons are most notorious of that—possessing both the intuitive intelligence to understand another's mind whilst succumbing to the temptations of ruining them just because... they can.
So... this pile probably attracts the vastest variety of dangerous people. That empathy itself is what's dangerous given your personality and tendencies.
Advice for finding your balance🔻💙
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Pile 3 - Bridge Over Troubled Water
V The Hierophant Rx, 8 of Cups
Priestess of Inspiration & Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)
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First, the good news: you are a rebel. You aren't big on stale value systems and traditions. You despise them; you probably have strong Aquarius influences, too. You wanna be different and live life according to your own value system and sense of rhythm. So, what's dangerous about that?
Before we jump into that, let's look at another aspect of you. Although you're unique, you're kinda lacking a backbone. You revel in the idea of your unique thinking and beliefs, but don't have the courage to really live the life you envision for yourself. At best, you can be flaky, escapist, and unreliable. At worst?
What makes you a danger to other people is your keenness for confusing other people. Yup. Think about that for a moment. This is your vindictiveness. You're confused, and you can't really live out the life you want due to your cowardice; so, you want to steer others in the same direction: confusion.
You're kinda really evil in that sense. Jealousy. Envy. Rage. Revenge. Loathing. There's a lot of shit in there you're suppressing to the best of your ability. If ever you slipped and the dam broke, all hell would break loose. It could be really ugly, my man.
A long time ago, I read something like this:
'The moment you accept your unpeacefulness, is the moment you become peaceful.' — probs a Buddhist quote
Do think about that for a moment. And actually, you just need a lot of inspiration that could help you develop courage. That's all, really.
Advice for finding your balance🔻❤️
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I had several traumatic experiences in my childhood and all I got was this lousy mental illness
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transfaguette · 2 days ago
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My pattern of self discovery when it comes to my health goes like
experiences symptom -> convinces myself it's not really that bad/I can overcome it if I just try harder -> starts using label for symptom while feeling like a faker -> realizes that I actually do experience this symptom and that I am unable to overcome it without treatment -> panic, depression, etc
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theworldoffostering · a day ago
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Today we had our final family therapy session with DD prior to her coming home on Monday. Except she dropped the bomb today that she’s going to return to her BF’s place instead. The BF she started a relationship with while she was in a manic state. The BF that won’t participate in a family therapy session with the therapist and DD. In fact, he won’t even return the therapist’s calls. All of the medical staff involved in her care are recommending that she return home and not to the BF’s place, but she told DH that she needs to do “what’s best for her.” 🙄
I actually just hung up the video call once she announced it and went for a walk to try to calm down. I had a phone conversation with her last night and asked her to directly think about a couple of things for us to talk about today and DH and I did a family therapy session on Monday with her too. She didn’t say anything about not coming home which just contributes to her lack of honesty about seemingly everything.
The therapist called me about 40 minutes later and apologized. I wish she would have given me a heads up because she does have a release to talk to me. Regardless she asked me to keep our home open to DD in case she changes her mind. I don’t think I can do that because it just sets her up to run away again and I don’t want to deal with it for the 100th time.
At some point, I need to take care of myself, my marriage, our other kids (who I then had to talk to and tell them that their sister isn’t coming home and that she lied to all of us again). I told the therapist we would keep her on our insurance through Monday so she could discharge and get her meds but we were taking her off starting Tuesday. She is eligible for state insurance and told me she had applied in August but she hadn’t. We are responsible for the insurance bills so if she seeks treatment out of network, we are responsible for that. It’s not a risk I want to take at this point.
It may have been a poor parenting move, but I did message her BF and asked if he were prepared for the level or responsibility required to care for her (my guess is that he is a decent guy but has no intention of actually taking care of her). I also disclosed that DD had multiple ongoing relationships at this point in time. I told him I wasn’t trying to hurt him, but let him know this wasn’t an issue that she had resolved and wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. Might have been a mom fail but I don’t have much to lose at this point.
If y’all have any words of wisdom, I’m open to hearing them. She’s 21 so a legal adult. We love her. We want her to be safe. We can’t control her. We need some boundaries.
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imgonnabitegod · 9 hours ago
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I've been using Neural Blender to see what AI thinks mental illness looks like. Here's some:
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randomreasonstolive · 15 hours ago
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Reason to Live #6556
  Realizing how strong we actually are and all the amazing things we can do.– Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
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bpdohwhatajoy · 7 hours ago
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When you spend your whole life caring about how you affect others and caring about others feelings only for them to not give a fuck in return, there reaches a point at which you just don’t care anymore about other people
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cock-dealer · a day ago
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Experiencing enough dehumanization and being mentally ill and disabled and trans = what if I’m not a human at all and I’m supposed to be one with The Dirt or something
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ao3feed-dadzawa · 2 days ago
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The Physical, Emotional, and Legal Consequences of Wanting to Watch a Movie with Your Friends
The Physical, Emotional, and Legal Consequences of Wanting to Watch a Movie With Your Friends by whatagoodegg
After a movie night gone wrong, Midoriya discovers his rambling applies to trauma dumping too. Aizawa discovers everything else.
(…and then hunts down All Might to punch him in the face)
Words: 12831, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Series: Part 5 of Midoriya Izuku has trauma (sparkle emoji)
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Gen
Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Class 1-A
Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku/trauma, all might's face/aizawa's fist
Additional Tags: One For All Quirk is Revealed, Midoriya Izuku Has Trust Issues, Midoriya Izuku Has PTSD, Midoriya Izuku Has Issues, so many issues, Midoriya Izuku is Bad at Feelings, Midoriya Izuku is a Mess, Midoriya Izuku Needs A Hug, Midoriya Izuku Gets A Hug, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Feral Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, just for a second, as a treat, Yagi Toshinori | All Might Bashing, Protective Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is a Good Teacher, hes trying, Dissociation, bonding through trauma dumping, Bullying, Extreme bullying, its all in the past tho, aizawa finds out about midoriya's past, Yagi Toshinori | All Might is a Bad Teacher, Retired Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Swearing, Midoriya Izuku Character Study, kind of?, just a little peek into his noggin, Midoriya Izuku is Not Okay, Minor Violence, Mild Blood, the class learns about ~trauma responses~, they also learn to maybe ask before picking a movie, theyre trying okay, Aizawa Shota is a Menace, no beta we die like all might's career, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Loves His Students, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Terrifies His Students, 1A finds out aizawa would literally kill for them, they don't know how to feel about it, Worldbuilding, only for like half a second tho, dehumanizing someone is cringe, Midoriya Izuku Swears, Once or Twice
Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35410903
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damianito · 2 days ago
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Being introvert with social anxiety while having a social bug extrovert that takes you out everywhere is an experience; You are either thankful for having them because they take you out of your cave to interact with the world or you’re wishing upon hell to them for taking you out of your comfort pillow-fort.
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voidic3ntity · 2 days ago
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I want darkness & I want lightness, purge this shade & kill the pain, putrid protrusion, fragment my light & recrystallize my dark, our motion is endlessly internal, to spiral forever & to serve as seductive temptress, as cold as winter, decay & wither, my organs & my mind, mere rot; swirling mass, to shade the blame, the bruises & the pain, my skull is open, cracked by forced, allude to mood, this faded stain, this degraded state, another sickness & another disease, my iris & my soul, fragmentary distillation, another vast purification, & through fragile putrefaction, the violet nightfall of twilight, the violence of an unbegotten cadence, this callous, scar of scorn, burned within my marrow, hollow clockmaker, fateful dispensation, please train my heart.
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