This evening, my body doesn’t feel like mine. I was doing my assignment. Suddenly I felt something wrong and I tried to relax. I tried to get up from my chair and suddenly I was crying. For no reason. My body started shaking. So I try to hide it from my sister who was beside me. I went to an empty room. I tried to text my friend but it was too late I cried so hard and I felt hurt. I don’t know where the hurt was or why I was crying. My body was shaking too much. I can’t even handle it and then I started to stop my breathing. I felt like I was being tortured by myself. It took me about 20mins to stop the attack. I don’t even know why my body was suddenly being like that.
This is the first attack in 2020. Last attack was in 2019 which was the year I had a big examination so my body was aching for like months. I cried many times and was shaking heavily. But this time, it came with it being hard to breathe. I’ve never told my family because they won’t believe me. They may think that I just being clingy and making up problems.
I’m afraid of this situation repeating and getting worse 😔
“what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? … (or weaker, or just the same?)
you are strong because you see yourself as strong. you do not need to go thru the hard stuff to validate that you are strong. & if you do have trauma &feel weaker as result… your feelings are valid too. trauma does not have to be transformative. it is okay if your trauma is just a bunch of unfair shit.
I know of some who fit in these
You’re not a fan of me
I’m not a fan of me
We really do have some things in common then
Your inward conflicts express themselves in outward disasters. Jiddu Krishnamurti
#RadicallyUnstuck #DefeatDepression #MentalHealth