so after 4 months of having no motivation or inspiration to write another song, I've finally started to write one and I genuinely forgot how powerful and freeing it felt to do the thing I love most.
please, even if you get the smallest amount of motivation, use it, make something beautiful out of it, inspire yourself, make yourself proud and never ever give up 💚
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Sadly racism is something that exists in our world and I’ve been using my mental issues to not talk about that or anything else I care about. The reason I haven’t and don’t is because it stresses me out and my brain is already erratic I don’t want it to burst so I try to avoid any sort of conflict or relationship for fear that it could push me right over the edge. That being said as much as I love killer frost the way they switched the roles of cops and people I didn’t notice until scrolling through tumblr this early ass morning. I’m not saying all white people are bad nor cops as well but if they’re gonna deal with frost’s arrest and deal with the cop issue it could have been done better. Like Joe maybe captain but he would have spoken up way sooner because it is right. If they were trying to do something with the cop issue they did it wrong like yes women aren’t listened to as much as men. But WHITE WOMEN no matter how much times have changed are still listened to more. And have her be “hunted down” by the corrupt system isn’t right. Also if it wasn’t their intention then it deadass wasn’t necessary and could’ve been much shorter and kept as a conversation and a quick clip. Like what was the need for chill Blaine or whatever.
Now onto TFATWS I commented on a post recently and while a lot of what I was saying I wanted to something I said I believe I worded wrong. Basically I was like not everything is about race you know like an idiot. And as much as I wish that was true the whole show is dealing with it in general, overall, and in pieces. I don’t truly know what Marvel has planned but from what they’re showing in the show I hope they’re trying to be respectful and inclusive to the issues they have and the world has. Ps Battlestars character could’ve been better and even if he didn’t die muthafucka still would’ve have lost his Pure AMERICAN *cough* mind.
We can talk in the comments truly not looking for arguments just conversation
It’s okay to not to be okay. It’s okay if today was tough. It’s okay if you weren’t feeling magical. All of your emotions are perfectly normal and okay to experience.
Lay down, get comfy, breathe deeply. Feel your emotions, but don’t drown in them.
You can try again when you wake up. Tomorrow is a new day. Rest your mind, little one. It’s been a long day; let sleep come to you.
Social Phobia monster
There's a creature that follows me around. It calls itself Social Phobia, but it also goes by Social Anxiety. It's the child of Anixety-or more like an offshoot of it, like it came out of Anxiety's head like how Athena was born from Zeus-it is neither more nor less powerful than it's parent. it's different, but it's also the same.
Social Anxiety is a cunning creature, more cunning than Anxiety. Anxiety is a wild thing, lashing out at seemingly random times, but Social Anxiety knows how to play the game. It disguises itself as a friend and will let itself in. There's no controlling it, it'll just be there one day, starting off as small as a mouse, but it will grow rapidly for some.
You can try to starve it but it won't work. It whispers things until you are convinced it's true. "you're friends are talking about you. They don't like you. I heard them say you were stupid." "Your boss will fire you now. They don't even want to keep you. You're far too stupid to be here." "Your spouse will leave you. Maybe they're cheating on you, and your children, don't even get me started." And there are times you can drown out the noise, but there are times that you listen intently until you're driven insane. After this it may lay dormant for a while, but it's only hibernating, it's waiting for a weak point if there isn't one already, and if there is it'll continue once it feels like everything is happy and normal again.
Can you get rid of it? I really wish such a thing were possible. There's nothing you can do except breathe.
How can you be aware? I don't know that there is a way, dear reader, to be able to fight against such a beast would surely be a terrible thing. For we need this fear from this monster to keep us alive, our ancestors knew how to use it and control it.
It sounds dark and hopeless, I know, but do not fret. I am sure there's a way to coexist with such a beast, and slowly each person figures out their own way.
also just an oldie of me 😄✌
Before you post “mental health awareness” please read the symptoms first.Once it comes to your friends who really need you y’all will run from responsibility and make yourself the victim.My favourite part is when they tell they need a mental break you will do anything but give them one then proceed to call them lazy and cold.When a person with mental health issues tells you that you are crossing the line IT MEANS YOU ARE.Stop putting guilt into those people for wanting to get better and instead fix your shitty ass personality.The whole world doesn’t revolve around you.Help those in need before it gets too late
((Acrylic 18x24 canvas original by me 04/21)) “Dangerous Creature”
Oh there you are. I’ve been watching you for sometime. 26 earthquakes & 9 tsunamis later, eternally.
You’re no longer there and I’m staring into the dark lit only by the light of a full Moon. Attempting to recall the last time I remembered a full day is rather taxing. My mind can’t compute that information. It’s algorithms based solely on your presence in my life, have been deemed useless without you. I play along with their dogma But I don’t believe in the contingent truths they speak of, but they believe in me.
As time wraps itself around this ache in my heart, my bones are grinding together until they’re crushed into a fine powder. I cut me a line and indulge in this recreational cannibalism. I shouldn’t be ruminating on such things but a loud knock or phone call is all I need to gain my composure long enough to appear normal.
I’ve prayed many nights to Gods I don’t believe in for a sign. A green light. A smoke signal. A quick death. Yet hear, see, smell, and taste nothing. My senses are nonexistent...but my symptoms aren’t.
I can only feel this bitterness growing inside of me; an all encompassing void beckoning my mind to deeper waters. Convincing me to make it one more day. And although it means no harm; it’s intentions are not set on benevolence either. So I make the decision to do nothing. Consequently choosing a passive suicide.. This sand in my soul is only growing heavier & I feel myself sinking down into the deep...letting go of everything as I breathe in the salty sea water.....and still all I see is You. -s&s
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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
haven’t been to active but how is everyone doing today??
i’ve been struggling a little bit recently but i know i have people to help me through it. remember the pain doesn’t last forever. please reach out instead of holding it in. i promise babes that everything is ok and you will make it through it. IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE A COMMENT FEEL FREE. REACH OUT BABES💜
supporting should be more than just telling people to 'try not being sad' please
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Just because it is written down doesn't mean it can't be changed, just because you thought you wanted something specific doesn't mean you can't alter it as you go along. Its your life, your path and your story! Its your happiness at stake, everything can be altered and change as you see fit, the power is in your hands..
Our brains are sick but that’s OK ❤️
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before i die
before i begin my purchase
i write a list then take a hit
and while taking my last shit
i realise this was proof of living
before i go out to collect
i smoke two of my three
cigarettes, then take four
plus the four that he missed
before i pay for my end
i hold his hand and this is so weird
he is so confused i explain with my eyes
but he cannot see the tears we are both high
before i self medicate
i buy my last meal from a vending
machine; a little sweetness
to mask the taste of death
before i swallow my symptoms
i fill my glass with water or vodka,
call out to those i love; i say goodnight
leaving their mornings for mourning
before i die i smoke my last cigarette
life has fucked me and
this is what we do after sex
tobacco remains my favourite ex
before i die i choose to take the stairs
a flight of twenty one floors
this is my bodies final punishment
the last time i shall be elevating
before i die - formally - life plays for me
from my episodes of comedy to tragedy
to the moment the brought me here
finally, i understand shakespeare
before i die, i write this - the self professed poet
winds her quill one last time
she used her blood as ink
and her skin as a canvas
before i die i wonder if this will make me famous
if my favourite writer will tweet about me
perhaps my autopsy will read
cause of death: narcissistic tendencies
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I try to not think about the things that I will never get to live. But I think about it too often. All the dreams that I’ve had. All the countries I’ll never see. All the tastes that I’ll never try. All the people I’ll never meet. My heart aches but still all I do is sit in my room. I never leave it. But still I cry about all the things that could be.
Law of repulsion :
anything you chase, beg or worry for will be repulsed by your vibration.
Solution : Practice detachment from what you receive.
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I just want to say thank you to @taylorswift !!! I'm so in love with the re-recorded fearless and I'm so thankful for all the things you do for us!!! But at most I'm grateful, that you keep me alive! I had a very hard time the last weeks and months, struggling with depression and an eating disorder and I had no one. But YOU! You, your music, you were and are always there when I'm at my lowest and I'm not able to express how much I love you for this!! You keep so many people alive, make so many people believe in their dreams! I keep fighting cause of you! Thanks, I love you!
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Maybe it didn't happen for a reason
Maybe there was no higher purpose for your trauma.
just wrong place and wrong time.
(the universe isn't out to get you.)
What happened to you didn't need to happen. It was unfair. It was not your fault.
And you don't need to be grateful, even if you learned something.
When we say that everything happens for a reason, we might forget to hold the perpetrators accountable for their unacceptable actions.
They're not fulfilling a divine agenda or helping your character development.
Sometimes things just happen. And we still survive.
'everything happens for a reason' brings you comfort, that's also okay.
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Never ever feel guilty for distancing yourself from people when you feel like you’ve grown apart. We are all on different paths and they will find their own way. Do what is best for you.
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Poem #1: (my personal favorite) this one is KICK ASS! I wrote this: 06/05/2017 it’s titled...
We Are Bipolar by: Lauren Miller
You make us hide in the shadows, our mental status this lows. You don’t except us, our feelings you never care about, you won’t discuss. You type us as people to stray from, scum...dumb, it’s always a bad outcome. We are here, you’re thoughts we will not endear. We all have the right to be treated the same, we’re not here for you to blame. Shame.... This is not a game, this is who we became. I am proud to be who I am, I don’t need a “re-program”. We go through mood swings, the mind controlling things. Moods that include, having an attitude. Such sadness, we control it even when it complete madness. We live our hard lives even though it’s not fair, I’m aware, I see you’re stare. There isn’t a cure, never will be. Don’t you understand, don’t you see? What?! You don’t agree? Well you’re damaged al the same, that’s right with you I proclaim. You hide you’re judgement and act as if normal and tame. Open you’re eyes, we’re staying, with you’re horrible thoughts weighing. Once again the price WERE paying. Enough is enough, we are tough! We try everyday, unlike you, the walking, talking clique. Sure we can break, ache, and quake. Sad thing is you stand there and watch, that’s you’re first mistake. Don’t be scared, if you don’t understand, take a leap and hold out you’re hand. Give us the chance, don’t turn away and ignore our glance. Treat us as a friend, but most of all don’t pretend. We are permanent, there’s no argument! We are proud, we will no longer be any different from the crowd! No more hiding, there will be no more dividing! You won’t get us down, we’re here to share the play ground! WE ARE STRONGER, THE HIGH-ROLLER, WE ARE FUCKING BIPOLAR!!! ￼