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#mentally drained

is it ok to want to not get therapy but you’re going through immense shit everyday and you have literally no energy for chores or communication or eating you just want to unalive the moment you wake up or is it just me

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dreamed of them tonight but could concentrate really good today on everything. maybe it means i’m getting used to it.

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It’s been 8 months since the end of our relationship, but I still feel like I’m not over you yet. It doesn’t mean that I’ll get back to you if I could though, because I would never put myself through all that suffering again. I want so desperately to just forget about you but I can’t. Sometimes I trick myself into thinking I was over you but in reality I’m just keeping myself busy and distracted so I don’t think of you. However, no matter what I did, once night falls and I lay in bed my thoughts go to you.

I know so many people say that to get over someone, you have to go meet other people, I can’t bring myself to do that. I don’t want to look for others with the intention of getting over you. They don’t deserve to be made use of by me. I have the deal with my own fucked up-ness myself and don’t drag innocent people into it.

I know that if I do meet others, I’ll have my guard up, but at the same time I wish I didn’t have to. I don’t want to meet others and assume the worst, thinking they would be the same as you. I know in my head that not all people are the same and there are tons of people that won’t treat me like how you and the people around you treat me. But my stupid head has been forcefully wired to think that way. These people don’t deserve me to make horrible assumptions about them. They literally did nothing.

I’m scared of what’s to come but at the same time I really don’t give a shit. I don’t have any expectations in my life.

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You know, will i be considered super selfish if I say that happy people around me have started triggering me?

I’m glad I’m anonymous here, anyway.

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i don’t think that caring is uncool. i WISH i could care. but everything is so draining and i honestly have my own problems that make me want to die. i’m sorry, but i can’t handle everyone’s else’s problems before i deal with my own.

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