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#mentally unstable

So much happened… so much…

I’m kinda… pretty sad and down…

I just… want to feel normal feelings. I want people to understand me…

I’m getting hospitalised soon… Togat I wanted to sit on a railway… after my psychiatrist appointment… But I went to a shop and bought sweets… Pur country is under lockdown and I hope they’ll take me to the hospital because I’m scared I would kill myself…

My mother knows… But my friends… don’t understand that much… I basically (think) no one can come for a visit except for family… who knows… I just… don’t want to live.. The hospital is the only thing that can keep me safe from doing smth.

~ Alice

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i can’t feel the cutting anymore. i did it to feel something else other than either my feelings of pain or numbness. but there’s no point in blood and scars if it doesn’t hurt. now i bite on my hands and it’s a lot harder to bite down too hard cause apparently your subconscious stops you. but i’m paranoid someone will notice, call me broken, and paranoid that no one will notice, forever alone in my pain. idk what i want anymore. my head just screams at me and my chest just hurts so bad as if someone’s just tearing me up from the inside. but i can’t scream out myself and to keep from anyone hearing my whimpers i bite down on my hands. to quiet me and make me feel something else am i a mess to think wow what a catch a 2-for-1 deal???

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Imagine having a friend that follows you everywhere, not right by your side but just near.

Sometimes you don’t even notice. You’re too busy and distracted going on with your normal life. Until they wave at you from across the garden just reminding you that they are still there.

Others, your friend is jumping in your face and holding your hands because they really want your full undivided attention.

The first few days are annoying but you manage.

A week goes by and it becomes very irritating.

A month on and you want to scream and cry every time you see your friend.

Six months, it’s officially exhausting. You’re so tired all the time. Your friend changes their mood throughout the day. One minute, they leave you alone. The next, they are shouting the house down and all you can do is sob.

Imagine having that friend with you every day and never going away.

How would that make you feel?

Be kind.

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what song/s make u feel absolutely nothing? you can stare at the ceiling thinking of everything yet nothing at the same time. what’s the song?

i’ll begin,

hollow wood - forget me forgotten

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relationships are so fucking weird and hard when you’re struggling mentally

everything the other person does or says has a much deeper impact than it should have, there is much more interpreted into certain actions and things they say and there is this constant lingering feeling of being a burden and just… not right for them.

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