I couldn’t sleep. I had a weird pain in my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I could feel someone for something sitting over my lungs. I had no one to go to. All people do is invalidate my pain, my suffering, my feelings. I can only turn to God. And I did. I prostated to him. Cried myself out. He listened. Whenever something like this happens to me, my belief that this life is just temporary and there is a hereafter strengthens. Indeed God is great.
“Stagnation” - Raqtober
Day 30 - I’m pretty open about my mental illness, and to me, this prompt felt like something I’ve often connected to it. Having anxiety, at least for me, can sometimes feel like being stuck in a tar pit. No matter how much I might want to do something, my anxiety holds me back and tries to pull me deeper and deeper into it, throwing insecurities, past failures, and fears at me to try to keep me from fighting it. The more I sink, the harder it is to fight my way out. I know that my life is probably going to be filled with times like these, but I also know that as long as I have my family and my friends, I’ll always have a hand to help me out of the pit.
Second to last drawing, and I’m pretty excited to get to the end!
Do you ever feel bad like your reblogging from the same person way too much? And there going to think your some sort of weirdo or stalker?
Yea that’s where I’m at right now. 😏
3:43 am - enjoying video games again, been able to brush my teeth, loving this season. Still a bit stressed about my next appointment at my psychologist, i dont know, if he really understands me. But i also dont want to end therapy. Well, lets try to communicate and solve problems?
My situation is only as bad as my attitude towards it.
I feel like I never post here enough, but this app always helps me through my biggest breakdowns.
This place deserves more love.
And when death brings his cold despair, ask yourself will anyone care ?
This came just in time for Halloween, I think it’s a sign ;)
You are not defined by your mental illness.
you don’t have to forgive someone just because they apologized to you.
i told her. i told her that i couldn’t breathe. i told her how bad i was feeling. she just stood over there and looked at me like was some idiot. i asked her if I’m a bad person, she replied saying ‘no'but her face said something else. she walked away like i was so stupid she couldn’t stand me anymore. this is why i chose to shut up. this is why i don’t open up. people love saying bs like “I’m here” “i can listen” “i care” “talk to me” but no one really cares. No one gives a fuck. no one cares if you die or live. they just fake being nice to satisfy their own mind, just for the sake of it. help yourself or you’ll end up in the grave way before you’re ought to be. Nobody is your friend. everyone’s only really there for themselves.
No one really understands how mentally and physically draining anxiety disorders are until you have gone through it
It creeps you , beats the daylights off you , it jails you into this never ending abyss .
So if you are reading this and going through a hard time know that you are not alone
Real people go through your symptoms
They bleed like you do
But it gets better I promise it does get better
So please seek help , go to a psychiatrist or a therapist , there is nothing to be ashamed about , mental health is just as important as your physical
Have patience , prayer and a mindset that you can and you will get better!
You know what? No one has ever told me this and this the only one thing i want to hear, so i’ll say it to you in case you needed it today, “ i am so proud of you that you are trying to understand yourself, where you are at this point if your life and how much you have grown. Just know that I see you, i understand you, i love you for who you really are and i will always have your back no matter what.❤”
Follow my Instagram @thekarmicflower
Within the last month I’ve: seen a doctor, been prescribed anti-depressants, started to take daily vitamins, started journaling, started eating healthier, got a gym membership and started personal training sessions. And I can tell you two things… 1. don’t wait to start taking better care of yourself and 2. I wish I would’ve done this sooner.
Grand Rising !
As a quick lil check in I’d like to share my last few YouTube uploads !!
AN EMOTIONAL TWO WEEKS (VLOG) i think my phone is hacked (lol) https://youtu.be/duro2UIBWQA
HOW MANY LOCS DO I HAVE? | TIPS, DETAILS, GROWING MY LOCS https://youtu.be/7UCTE654EcM
THE TIME I GOT CAUGHT UP | STORYTIME https://youtu.be/zh-ullznY7A
All views, subscribers, any support period is appreciated !!