That cat feeling of exuberance after he gets done with his litter business.
If I die from some wild accident like a tree falling on me or a blood clot catchin me in the lungs today: I love u
so, for like a little over a month now i’ve been exercising on the treadmill we have in the basement. my mom has been coming down with me too, she uses the bike we have. anyways, i’m proud of myself bc i’ve been doing this almost every day now for a month. only days i haven’t done it has been two days a week which i designated my “days off” (tuesdays and fridays), a couple days where i didn’t feel well, and like one week where i couldn’t do it bc i had a nasty cut on the inside of my thigh which hurt too much to do anything 😶
ngl tho, i think one of my main motivators is the fact that we have an old small flat screen tv and blu ray player down there (bruh i sound like some spoiled rich kid when i say that 💀 i’m not 😂), so i’ve been bringing down my x-files blu rays and rewatching random motw eps while on the treadmill lmao. (only one tho) idk if i’d be going down there so often if it wasn’t for that 😂 but still… proud of myself.
tbh what i’m doing is probably not that impressive bc i don’t think the distance i do for the time i’m down there is that good (idk for sure tho, idk what’s considered good, it might be good, idk) and i’ve just been doing the treadmill, i haven’t done anything else (even tho i told myself i was going to), and it’s not like i’m that healthy, i still eat like shit. but still… it’s good i’m doing something, at least
ngl tho i’ve thought about stopping multiple times bc i’m starting to get annoyed with/sick of it, but idk then i’d feel lazy and like a quitter
M: I’ve never walked behind you before, you look great! You’re withering away!
Me, 15lbs up: 🥺thank u
ok tumblr mobile is acting up again and also when everyone is excited and posting a lot about something i get overwhelmed so i am probably done for today lol
apparently gillian anderson won though, that’s awesome 🎉
have no idea what’s going on with golden globes right now bc i was watching twd lmao
i hate how my brain convinces me that everyone secretly hates me despite constantly being told/shown otherwise
i am so sad every day and i’m sick of it
Big time snuggles with Nugget
anyways… still thinking about the nice/reassuring things ppl said to me today (both on here and in discord) and also in the past… very grateful and so happy for that
the way i was seriously considering suicide
again earlier today… yikes
I know I gotta eat Something so I can turn my brain on but boy do I not want Anything
idk i say i don’t deserve to live bc i think i’m a waste of a life. i’m too socially awkward, i’m ugly, i’m behind on lots of things in life and everyone my age/around my age is doing/has done better than me and i feel like it won’t get better, i’ll always be a loser
i stg i get closer to actually killing myself every day
i don’t deserve to live
just got back from my orthodontist appointment and they said at my next appointment (at the end of march) my braces are coming off! 🙌 i’m gonna get a permanent retainer (idk if that’s what they’re actually called, that’s what my mom/brother call it; he has one too) on my bottom teeth and one of those invislign retainers for my top teeth, but idc bc i’m happy to finally get these braces off after having them for (almost) 2 years
@ anon who sent the ask about txf and gore: i’m gonna respond soon! (like later today) 💕 just don’t have enough time to properly do it rn
(well, a normal person would in this situation, but i am weird) gotta be somewhere soon and i like to go over/think about responses a lot before i send post/send 😂😅