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eldritch-nightmare · 8 months

Note

Could I request some headcanons for the MH characters and how they'd react to their s/o dying due to the Operator sickness (just to make it more challenging, let's say Alex didn't do it)

a/n: you most certainly can omg i love writing mcd and angst!! i literally dropped everything i was doing to write this so i hope you enjoy!!

marble hornets characters reacting to their s/o dying due to operator sickness.

warnings: major character death, swearing, blood, vomit, coughing, sleep deprivation, gn!reader, death is mainly unspecified but alex isn't the cause, jessica's actually made me feel sad i wanna hug her.

JAY MERRICK.

You stuck by Jay's side since the beginning of all of this, helping him with finding more tapes and piecing together the clues of the mystery that is Marble Hornets.

Even when things got bad, you and Jay stuck together.

You guys were worried, obviously, when you both started to experience symptoms of the sickness, but neither of you allowed it to slow you down.

Unfortunately, the sickness was taking a heavy toll on you more than it was Jay at this point, and it was starting to show.

You could barely sleep most days, but with the sickness, sleeping was like an oasis in the middle of a desert.

And the day you died, you were running on no sleep. It had been... a while since you had last been able to sleep. You were at death's doorstep, but neither you nor Jay were ready to admit it.

Your death had been... peaceful, in the end.

You were in the car with Jay. You weren't sure where you two were going, but you knew that Tim was driving behind you guys. The weight of everything felt so heavy on your shoulders, and you could just... feel yourself drifting off. You knew you more than likely weren't going to wake up if you closed your eyes, so with the last of your strength, you caught Jay's attention and just oh so softly whispered, 'I love you.' before your eyes shut and you slumped against the window of the car.

Jay pulled over immediately because he knew that something was wrong. He tried performing CPR on you, but you didn't come back. And the Operator just had to choose this moment specifically to show up, so Tim had to physically drag Jay away from your body so the two could get away.

The Operator took your body, and Jay followed you into the afterlife soon after.

ALEX KRALIE.

Well first off congrats on not being killed by Alex, I guess. No, you die early on.

But he didn't kill you. He didn't get the chance. He was going to, trust me, but it seems your body just couldn't handle the sickness like everyone else.

That doesn't make it any less painful for Alex to watch. He loves you so much, so of course your death is going to hit him.

Seeing you vomit blood as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your body started to convulse... it was terrible.

And he wanted to help you, he did! He wanted to do something to save your life but...

Perhaps... it would be better if he didn't...

Watching you die is something that'll haunt his dreams for sure, and your death will definitely motivate him to achieve his goal and it'll spur him further into the mindset of 'everyone in contact with anyone who has the sickness needs to die'.

And he'll blame Tim for your death, period.

Even if it isn't Tim's fault, it is. Alex simply cannot blame anyone else.

He knows that it was wrong to watch you die and not do anything to help, but... it was the right thing to do. Surely, you would have understood, right?

TIM WRIGHT.

His biggest fear was you dying because of all of this.

At first, most of his fear stemmed from him apparently having an alter ego of sorts that doesn't recognize the people he knows and is violent. He was worried that he'd end up hurting you when in this state of mind.

That fear transitioned away from that when this alter ego went dormant. Instead, it just became a natural fear of you getting injured.

He didn't want you to involve yourself in this because he knew it would be dangerous, but you insisted and he can't exactly stop you.

So when you die? Right in front of him? Choking on your own vomit and blood?

Well, he'd simply blame himself.

It's his fault that everyone is involved in all of this in the first place. If he had just... never made any friends, everyone would still be alive.

It's his fault. His fault that you died. He'll never get to see you again. He'll never get to hear your laugh or see the sparkle in your eyes.

He couldn't even get you a proper funeral because the Operator took your body. You're gone. You're gone.

Alex is right. It really is his fault.

BRIAN THOMAS.

Brian knew getting involved with you doomed you to your fate, but he's more selfish than he lets on.

He couldn't let you go. Even after he assumed the persona of Hoodie, he wanted you in his life.

He did his best to take care of you when the sickness started taking its toll on you. He made sure to steal some of Tim's pills for the two of you to take, he kept you hydrated and he was very adamant about you not touching his camera.

He concealed most of his worry because he knew that being openly worried would only make you worry.

His biggest concern was Alex finding you. If Alex knew where you were, he wouldn't hesitate to take your life, so Brian made sure he never even filmed anywhere near where he kept you.

That being said, because of everything going on, Brian can't be with you all the time.

And you die while he's gone.

He returns to the abandoned building to find it empty. You were nowhere in sight, and immediate panic overtook whatever other thoughts were going on in his mind as he tore the place apart trying to find you. The only thing left in your place was one of his spare cameras.

Dread immediately settles in alongside his panic as he watches the latest tape on the camera, and that's when he sees it. You, with tears streaming down your face as you struggle to force back a violent cough fit. You confessed to him that you hadn't been taking the pills he'd been giving you, instead always sneaking them back into the bottle so Brian would have more to take for himself. And you cry, telling Brian that you're sorry and that you love him before you drop the camera and fall to the ground as a violent coughing fit begins to take over.

Brian has to look away from the screen because seeing you die is not something he can handle. He only looks back when you stop coughing. Your body wasn't in the frame anymore. It's safe to assume that the Operator took you.

Brian sorta just... goes numb, to be honest. There's no other way to describe it, really. He just exists, and then he dies.

JESSICA LOCKE.

Oh Shit. Oh God, what the hell? What's going on?

Poor girl doesn't even know what's happening for most of the time she's there and now her lover just collapsed to the ground and started to cough up blood.

She tries her hardest to offer her support, holding your hair back and trying to help you ride out this coughing fit but it just gets worse the longer you cough.

She's in tears as she tells you to just hold on, scrambling to search for anything she could use to call an ambulance to get you some help.

She even tries carrying you, but she's also dealing with the sickness and is in a weakened state so all she can do is watch in horror as your coughing gets worse.

Then the vomiting starts, and there's no way a human can survive vomiting up so much blood.

Please don't die. Please, she can't lose you. She can't do this without you! You have to stay alive, you have to stay with her! You can push through this, she knows you can! Just focus on her voice, okay?

But her pleas mean nothing in the end.

In the end, your body gives out on you and you breath your last breath in the arms of your girlfriend as she cries, begging you to stay with her.

And when all of this is over, she has no memory of your death. Tim tells her that you left. She'll never know the truth of what actually happened.

#anon #jay merrick x reader #alex kralie x reader #tim wright x reader #brian thomas x reader #jessica locke x reader #marble hornets x reader #jay merrick x you #alex kralie x you #tim wright x you #brian thomas x you #jessica locke x you #marble hornets x you #marble hornets #scheduled.#don't ask why im scheduling this to post at 2am i cant explain my ways #hoodie x reader #masky x reader #I NEED TO START TAGGING THOSE TWO i keep forgetting

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astrabear · 3 months

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The man - middle-aged to strangers, oppressively old in his own mind, a baby to most of his friends - sat down by the woman's bedside. She was ancient by anyone's standards. He gently took her hand in his, noting the thin skin and swollen knuckles, fingers gnarled with scars. He didn't know if the strength he felt was actually in her hand or just in his memory.

"So," he said, his tone deliberately light, "I hear you yelled at Joe."

"I did."

"It's all right, he knows you didn't mean it."

"No, no I did that too." This surprised him; she could be fierce and harsh, but rarely spiteful or cruel.

"What'd he do?"

"To deserve it? Nothing."

"You said you meant it."

"I did mean it. Then. I wouldn't mean it now. I believed it, no I knew it then. But not now. Do you understand?"

"Sure, yeah, of course. You weren't feeling well. No one's upset at you." Which was true. Joe was devastated, but in a more general sense.

She clutched his hand, and he rejoiced to see that her strength was not just a memory after all. "No," she said, "not that. Do you understand?"

When he did not reply, she continued, "Being sick, it's not just pain. I forgot, and you've forgotten, but it's different. It does things to your head - "

"Andy, we know, no one blames you - "

"Let me finish. Sometimes I hate everyone who isn't sick, just because I hate being sick so much. It's a real thing, but it's not the only thing. I meant what I said when I said it, but I also love him."

"He knows that."

She let go of his hand long enough to slap it. "Idiot. I'm not talking about Joe. I'm talking about you and your son." The man seemed to stop breathing.

"If you can do it for me, you can do it for yourself and your boy. He meant what he said when he said it, when he was miserable and sick and dying. But I know now, I know that the hate and resentment weren't all he felt. It was a real thing, but not the only thing. Just like Merrick was a real thing about you, but not the only thing." She looked at him sharply, and he wondered what she saw in his face. "Will you at least think about it?"

He sighed. "I will. I promise I will."

He took her hand again, and long after she fell asleep he stayed there watching over her, both of them growing older, minute by minute, as time pressed on.

#the old guard #andromache the scythian #booker #sebastien le livre #my fic #been sick a lot myself lately #and I had some thoughts

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qqueenofhades · 11 months

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Do you think Barack Obama was a good president?

For the most part, yes. The fact that he got elected in the first place (and in a landslide) was nothing short of miraculous, but those of you on the younger side don't remember just how FUCKING FED UP the entire country was with Dubya and his bullshit. It didn't really matter if you were Democrat or Republican. Everyone hated him, especially when he went out in 2008 by causing a generational economy-crashing cataclysm. For him to go from a 91%+ approval rating just after 9/11, to the low 20s by the time he left office, shows just how sick and tired everyone was with him, and how we fondly (ha) imagined that he would be the worst American president in our lifetime. How very innocent we were.

The fact that Obama, a black guy with the middle name Hussein, who had not even a full term as a US senator as his only real meaningful political experience, could come in there and win is a feeling that honestly is nothing like anything anyone had experienced in politics before. I remember staying up with my family (I was studying abroad in the UK) over phone/Skype until the race was called for Obama around 3am, and one of my classmates ran outside the flat in delirium yelling "OBAMA WON!!!" The pictures of elderly African-Americans just crying their eyes out on that night, and the way they still look at Barack and Michelle now, is special. Yes, of course the reality didn't totally live up to the promise of that moment, but man, for a little while there, it really felt like we had changed the entire paradigms on which this stupid flawed country had been built from the beginning. I can't imagine we'll feel like that again for a long, long time.

Obama managing to save the economy (as noted before, it's a theme that Democratic presidents have to come in and clean up the ungodly mess left by Republicans) and pass the Affordable Care Act, even as watered-down as it was from what he wanted, were two very significant accomplishments. Where he fell short, however, was in his dealings with said Republicans, and obviously not all of this was his fault. Obama was intensely conscious of his position as a political newcomer AND that he was a black guy. The level of racism, vitriol, and sheer ugliness that he (and his family) faced from all quarters was (and is) yeah. We got the Tea Party, the "birthers," and the rest of the radical-right lunatics out in full force, and Obama was aware that he was going to get blamed for everything and then some. He also wanted to think that the Republicans would throw a hissy fit and then get over it and work with him. They didn't. Not for one single day. Not on anything. Just because he was a Democratic black guy. That was all it took, and they stuck to it even as Obama kept reaching for the football and thinking that THIS time, surely they would be reasonable. They weren't. On anything. Ever.

Likewise, the Democrats were caught unprepared by the special election for Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts senate seat, which they lost (taking them from a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority to 59, after which the Republicans accordingly filibustered everything and the Democrats didn't push hard enough to stop them/change the rules). They also seemed to just assume that hey, the country voted for Obama in 2008, they'd clearly do it again in 2010, and they didn't really hype up the ACA or campaign for it or anything like that. So they got shellacked to the tune of 60+ House seats lost in 2010, and then lost the Senate in 2014, allowing Mitch McConnell to flat-out blockade Merrick Garland's SCOTUS nomination (who Obama picked to fill Antonin Scalia's seat) and get away with it. Obama was also not nearly as assertive about nominating judges as Biden has been, though it's also the case that Trump hadn't yet packed the benches with an endless conveyor belt of unqualified uber-conservative hacks. Once again, I think this is a reflection of Obama's overall political inexperience and the fact that he felt he had to "play nice" or get pigeonholed as the "angry black guy," which he then did anyway. So it really was a catch-22.

Online Leftists always like to yelp about "Obama ordering a lot of drone strikes!!!", as if they a) know anything else about American foreign policy, b) are at all interested in criticizing Trump for using EVEN MORE (by like... a lot, and nearly starting WWIII when he killed the Iranian general with one), or c) ever consider the overall ungodly fucking mess that Obama was ALSO left with in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm not about to defend or agree with that either, but it's disingenuous (as per usual with them) to suggest that that was the only thing Obama did during his presidency and/or that he should be judged on that alone. They also like to pretend that he faced no racism at all, that he could have just "codified Roe vs. Wade and didn't!", that there were no double standards in how he was treated by the press, the political establishment, and the American people, and so on.

So: overall, yes, I think Obama had good intentions and tried to do the right thing. He failed at certain major parts of that, both because of the Republicans and because he didn't have the experience to challenge them or know how to work around them, and because he was in an utterly impossible position. The intense white backlash that gave rise to Trump showed that contrary to what anyone liked to think about Obama's election heralding a "post-racial" era, it was back and more ugly and public than it had been in a long time. It was also surprising that our first black president was a Democrat, and not a Republican shill like Tim Scott and/or Clarence Thomas, who has been allowed to rise in the party only because he faithfully repeats all the maxims of the (white) GOP ruling class. So the sheer strength of Obama Derangement Syndrome, which persists today, has to figure into any appraisals of either what he did or what he could have reasonably been expected to accomplish, and I don't think people get that.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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thebreakfastgenie · 1 year

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Some man on twitter took the opportunity of someone literally celebrating Ruth Bader Ginsburg's 90th birthday to push the "Ginsburg should have retired and this is her/Democrats' fault" line and unfortunately I have some time on my hands so you're getting this rant from me again.

First and foremost, putting the blame on a dead woman when there is a living man who is more directly responsible for losing control of the Supreme Court is profoundly stupid and while I doubt it's consciously misogynistic it does reflect a society that holds women responsible for everything.

I don't know how many times I can say this, but we didn't lose the court in 2020, we lost it in 2018 when Anthony Kennedy retired and Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed. A 6-3 conservative majority is certainly worse, but the Dobbs decision, for example, would have been the same.

You don't get to blame Democrats or Ruth Bader Ginsburg for the fact that you dismissed the importance of the Supreme Court in 2016. Whatever you think should have been done in 2014, you knew what the reality was in 2016. There was already an open seat on the Supreme Court during that election.

If Hillary Clinton had won in 2016, Antonin Scalia would have been replaced by a liberal justice, likely Merrick Garland, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg would have been replaced by another liberal justice. Anthony Kennedy would either have remained in his seat or been replaced by a moderate or liberal justice. The tentative 5-4 liberal majority we had prior to 2016 would have become a tentative 6-3 majority with a solid 5 liberal votes. This Supreme Court would not have overturned Roe and would not be threatening policies like student loan forgiveness and affirmative action. That is the court we would have if 50,000 people in three states had voted for Hillary Clinton.

Instead, Donald Trump appointed three Supreme Court Justices and there is a solid 6-3 conservative majority that will continue handing down horrible decisions that are nakedly political and barely even bother with constitutional justification. At the moment we're basically waiting for a couple of them to die and hoping there is a Democratic president and senate when it happens.

I think the position that Ginsburg should have retired in 2014 is heavily influenced by hindsight, but even accepting that it was a good idea, it's not as simple as people who began believing it in 2020 make it sound. First of all, I cite 2014 because Democrats lost control of the senate that year. This argument relies on Democrats seeing that loss coming. Even if they could do that, Democrats did not have filibuster-proof majority in the senate in 2014. At the time, senate rules required such a majority for supreme court confirmations. Harry Reid had only recently changed the rules to allow all other federal judicial nominations to be confirmed with a simple majority.

It's easy to forget now, but the level of Republican obstructionism during the Obama administration was unexpected. The rule change came about because there were so many judicial vacancies. Unfortunately, not all of them were filled even after the rule change, which allowed a number of Republican appointments during the Trump administration. I didn't have a position on senate rules in 2012-14 because I was in high school, but my position now is that I support ending the filibuster.

I think it's very clear that Republicans will simply change the rules to benefit themselves anyway the second they have power, so Democrats are not gaining anything by preserving the filibuster. However, I reached this position with the benefit of having observed Mitch McConnell's actions as Majority Leader between 2015 and 2019. Democrats in 2012-14 did not have that benefit. I don't know how predictable this Republican behavior was, but it's certainly not the same as having observed something that already happened. If Mitch McConnell had not already changed the rule for Supreme Court confirmations in 2017 in order to confirm Neil Gorsuch, I would have urged Democrats to do it in order to confirm Ketanji Brown Jackson. But I don't know if it's fair to expect Democrats to have done so in 2014.

It's also worth remembering that the open politicization of the Supreme Court is fairly recent. It's been obviously political at least since the 1980s, but for quite a long time both parties kept up a pretense that it wasn't. It's easy to see why Democrats might not have expected Republicans to keep a seat open for an entire year rather than even give a Democratic nominee a hearing.

I think "in hindsight, things would be better if Ruth Bader Ginsburg had retired in 2014 and Harry Reid had changed the senate rules so Democrats could confirm a replacement" is a reasonable take. But it's academic. There's no point in assigning blame. And Democrats clearly did learn from this, because Stephen Breyer retired and was replaced by Ketanji Brown Jackson.

And, once again, whatever you think should have happened in 2014, we all went into 2016 knowing exactly what did and did not happen. Few people were saying Ginsburg should have retired at that time, and even those who were would not have been justified in not voting for Hillary Clinton, or discouraging others from supporting her, or downplaying the importance of the Supreme Court.

#the way i feel about scotus is so weird like #if any of the people i spent 2016 begging to care about the supreme court came to me like i'm sorry you were right #i don't think i would feel anything??#like tell me something i don't know!!#and yet it DOES bother me when i see takes like this on twitter #like you STILL refuse to accept responsibility and will blame literally anyone else huh?#i'm just angry that i'm living under the thumb of an unchecked right wing extremist court and it didn't have to happen #it's turned me into a person who cheers when an old man falls down and breaks his ribs #and openly hopes for several other old men to die

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queer-is-future · 8 months

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Curious if the show is going to address this diary entry of Claudia’s from the book Merrick. This was written in a diary Louis was not aware of. It completely calls into question Claudia’s actual motivations behind what she did.

“September 21, 1859

It has been so many decades since Louis presented me with this little book in which I might record my private thoughts. I have not been successful, having made only a few entries, and whether these have been written for my benefit I am unsure.

Tonight, I confide with pen and paper because I know which direction my hatred will take me. And I fear for those who have aroused my wrath.

By those I mean, of course, my evil parents, my splendid fathers, those who have led me from a long forgotten mortality into this questionable state of timeless ‘bliss.’

To do away with Louis would be foolish, as he is without question the more malleable of the pair.”

Louis will do as I wish, even unto the very destruction of Lestat, which I plan in every detail. Whereas Lestat would never cooperate with my designs upon Louis. So there my loyalty lies, under the guise of love even in my own heart.

What mysteries we are, human, vampire, monster, mortal, that we can love and hate simultaneously, and that emotions of all sorts might not parade for what they are not. I look at Louis and I despise him totally for the making of me, and yet I do love him. But then I love Lestat every bit as well.

Perhaps in the court of my heart, I hold Louis far more accountable for my present state than ever I could blame my impulsive and simple Lestat. The fact is, one must die for this or the pain in me will never be sealed off, and immortality is but a monstrous measurement of what I shall suffer till the world revolves to its ultimate end. One must die so that the other will become ever more dependent upon me, ever more completely my slave. I would travel the world afterwards; I would have my way; I cannot endure either one of them unless that one becomes my servant in thought, word, and deed.

Such a fate is simply unthinkable with Lestat’s ungovernable and irascible character. Such a fate seems made for my melancholy Louis, though the destroying of Lestat will open new passages for Louis into the labyrinthian Hell in which I already wander with every new thought that comes in my mind.

When I shall strike and how, I know not, only that it gives me supreme delight to watch Lestat in his unguarded gaiety, knowing that I shall humiliate him utterly in destroying him, and in so doing bring down the lofty useless conscience of my Louis, so that his soul, if not his body, is the same size at last as my own.”

Merrick

Anne Rice

#amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv #claudia de lioncourt #claudia de pointe du lac #claudia iwtv #the vampire chronicles #anne rice #merrick #loustat #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt

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graysnetwork · 1 year

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you can do a keegan in love headcanon pls

I didn’t really get this but since I’ve already done Keegan being like super in love I’ll do this as him figuring out he’s in love

(not proofread)

So he’s never really been “in love”

He’s been in the military for a while so he’s never had the time too anyways

But he’s always been a one night stand guy, like he doesn’t try to be a hooker 😭 but he only gets with girls to relieve himself

But either way he doesn’t really leave base too often

So anyways when you joined the team he kept it strictly professional

Plus he’s really quiet so he doesn’t usually talk to you, but he did think you were beautiful/handsome when he first saw you

And he liked how chill you were, and you were funny

Even if your more of the quiet type hesh would probably be able to get you talking with all of them

So he heard your voice and he was obsessed, he loved the way things rolled off your tongue

He’d think of ways at night on how to talk with you so he could listen to your voice and look at your beautiful eyes

And that’s when it hit him like a truck that he liked you

He was staying up thinking about you and he realized how that wasn’t good for work

So he started distancing himself from you, he stopped talking to you outside of missions

But he only got more jealous cause you were talking to hesh and Logan more now

and then one day he cracked and told hesh about his crush on you

so hesh became matchmaker

he got you to tell him what you thought of keegan which was things along the lines of "I like him, but he doesn't really talk to me"

so then hesh got you two, to unknowingly go to the bar together and you two had great night

if yk what I mean 🤔 jkjkjk

you two js kissed

and made out a few times

who could blame you? the drinks got you feeling brave

you two were just scared how merrick would react if he found out his two best soldiers had something going on🤫

#imagines #x reader stories #fluff #call of duty #oneshot #call of duty keegan #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan russ #keegan russ x reader #keegan russ x you #keegan x reader

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nalyra-dreaming · 10 months

Text

Season 2 trial prediction/speculation

Claudia's diary entry (from Merrick) being read out loud on stage and used to judge her.

(That would put a very interesting spin on it all, and we know from episode 4 that one diary was in Paris.)

"It has been so many decades since Louis presented me with this little book in which I might record my private thoughts. I have not been successful, having made only a few entries, and whether these have been written for my benefit I am unsure. Tonight, I confide with pen and paper because I know which direction my hatred will take me. And I fear for those who have aroused my wrath. By those I mean, of course, my evil parents, my splendid fathers, those who have led me from a long forgotten mortality into this questionable state of timeless 'bliss.' To do away with Louis would be foolish, as he is without question the more malleable of the pair. [...] Louis will do as I wish, even unto the very destruction of Lestat, which I plan in every detail. Whereas Lestat would never cooperate with my designs upon Louis. So there my loyalty lies, under the guise of love even in my own heart. What mysteries we are, human, vampire, monster, mortal, that we can love and hate simultaneously, and that emotions of all sorts might not parade for what they are not. I look at Louis and I despise him totally for the making of me, and yet I do love him. But then I love Lestat every bit as well. Perhaps in the court of my heart, I hold Louis far more accountable for my present state than ever I could blame my impulsive and simple Lestat. The fact is, one must die for this or the pain in me will never be scaled off, and immortality is but a monstrous measurement of what I shall suffer till the world revolves to its ultimate end. One must die so that the other will become ever more dependent upon me, ever more completely my slave. I would travel the world afterwards; I would have my way; I cannot endure either one of them unless that one becomes my servant in thought, word, and deed. Such a fate is simply unthinkable with Lestat's ungovernable and irascible character. Such a fate seems made for my melancholy Louis, though the destroying of Lestat will open new passages for Louis into the labyrinthian Hell in which I already wander with every new thought that comes in my mind. When I shall strike and how, I know not, only that it gives me supreme delight to watch Lestat in his unguarded gaiety, knowing that I shall humiliate him utterly in destroying him, and in so doing bring down the lofty useless conscience of my Louis, so that his soul, if not his body, is the same size at last as my own."

I WANT IT

#amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #iwtv claudia #claudia de lioncourt #the vampire chronicles #vc #vampire chronicles #merrick #book quotes #iwtv season 2 speculation #future season speculation #trial #diaries #iwtv s2

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ardenwritesegos · 2 months

Text

Starlight

Warning: Verbal abuse

Another day, another bout of chaos. Dark should know to expect nothing less from the Ipliers. All the more reason for a daily evaluation. If he didn’t, the mansion would likely burst into flames. Hell, it nearly did at one point. Damn Wilford and his ability to summon flame throwers at will. No matter. There were far more important things to dwell on. Or rather, far more important people.

The being continued through the halls of the manor, entering room after room. The Googles were searching their online systems for useful information. Dr. Iplier was organizing yet another stack of files detailing the egos’ medical accidents. Everything seemed to be in order. At least, for the time being.

The creature was soon finished with his inspection, moseying down the hall to his office. As they did, however, one of the doors opened. Someone exited from it in a rush. Eric Derekson. The shy Iplier held a stack of paper tightly in his arms, muttering something to himself. In his hurry, Eric practically rammed into Dark. The documents flew out of his hold, scattering in different directions. As Derekson looked up, the being could see the terror in his face.

“I’m-I’m sorry!” Eric stuttered quickly.

“I was trying to memorize my script for today, and–”

“Stop,” Dark interrupted, attempting to be as calm as possible.

Typically, the being would have no issue striking fear into the egos to keep them in line. This one, however, wasn’t like the others.

Derekson did not contain the outward confidence or fearlessness of an Iplier. He was fragile as an egg, flinching at the slightest sound. The ego could barely speak without questioning every word. It was almost a saddening sight. Almost. “No harm has been done,” the being reassured Eric. The mist of their aura picked up Eric’s papers, handing the stack to Derekson. “You should find them in order,” Dark explained as the other checked his documents. The shy Iplier looked on in confusion, not seeming to expect the kindness. Dark couldn’t blame him. Not with the demon’s reputation in the manor.

“Th-Thank you,” Eric said quietly, a bit calmer.

“You’re welcome,” the creature responded. “Now, go. Derek is surely waiting for you.”

“Yeah...right,” Derekson ran along to his errand. Dark couldn’t help but notice an extra shakiness from Eric at the mention of his father. Something about that was all too familiar to the being.

My Starlight

They shook it off, returning to his room. It wasn’t their problem to solve.

[Meanwhile]

The creature sat at their desk, sorting another week’s worth of incidents from Dr. Iplier. As usual, it was a mountainous pile. However, Dark didn’t find it to be too much. He could get through papers like this rather quickly, after all. Before Dark could continue, he was interrupted by yelling that boomed from across the hall. The being knew all too well where it was coming from. They made their way across the hall, stopping midway at a door. On it was a poorly-constructed sign, reading Derekson Studio. Screaming continued from behind the door. Dark focused, until they could see the inside.

“I don’t get what’s so hard about this!” Derek boomed at the timid ego.

“All ya gotta do is say some lines for stuff that practically sells itself,” he said matter-of-factly, as if it were that simple for everyone.

“What dontcha understand?!”

“I-I-I,” Eric stuttered, shaking harder than a leaf. “M-Maybe I’m just not-just not cut out for this,” he began to fidget with the orange towel in his hand. Derekson always seemed to have that cloth near him. None of the others ever knew why, nor did they care enough to ask. “ If you asked my brothers, they-they’d say the same thing,” Eric added. “Merrick would–”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Derek interrupted, instantly silencing his son. “You think I wouldn’t rather have Merrick do this?!” he boomed. “But he ain’t here, so you’re the only option I got!” Eric cowered more with each word. “So just get up there and get it together!” At those words, Dark was sent into one of the soul’s memories.

A little boy was with his father, practicing for a speech, his first as class president. Like Eric, the child struggled to get the words out. For every mistake, his dad forced him to start over. The father quickly became more aggravated with each stutter or lengthy pause.

“Get it together, boy!” the parent barked. “How are you going to be a politician if you can’t speak to a crowd?!” the boy had previously voiced his desire to be a leader of some kind. He wanted to help people in any way he could. In his mind, politics seemed like the best way to do that. At the time, however, he felt as if he wasn’t cut out for it.

“B-but, everyone will be staring at me,” the child stammered, hands restless in their folded position.

“That’s the point!” the man’s voice could be heard throughout the house. Maybe even the neighborhood. Regardless, the boy knew nobody would say a word. The man of the house had to keep order, after all. “What about that do you not understand?!”

“I understand, but–” the child mumbled, on the verge of tears.

“Then act like it and say the damned words!” the father swore.

With a shake of their head, Dark was brought back to reality. Noise like that could not be tolerated. It was a distraction that could lead the entire manor off-track. He opened the door, immediately silencing Derek. The man may have been too stubborn for his own good, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew very well that this being was not to be messed with.

“Hello, Derekson,” Dark greeted the father with his usual cold indifference.

“Uh…hello there, boss,” one could practically see the sweat dripping off the salesman.

“What brings you here?”

“You have caused a bit of noise, Derek,” the creature folded their arms behind their back.

“S-so sorry, sir,” the father apologized. “I was just,uh, trying to motivate my son, here,” he put an arm on Eric’s shoulder, causing the boy to flinch.

“I highly doubt that shouting is adequate motivation,” they said, matter-of-factly.

“Well actually, it works quite well for–”

“Could you leave the room for a moment?” Dark asked, interrupting Derek.

“What?” Derek responded, face freezing in confusion.

“I would like to speak with Eric, alone,” the being ordered calmly, yet somehow also firmly.

“But sir, he doesn’t do good on his own,” Derek protested, clearly trying hard not to burst out in anger.

“He will not be by himself, Derek,” Dark reassured, voice still emotionless. “Now, run along,” the creature ordered. “A new shipment was warped in for you.”

“Uh…Yes sir,” the father said after several moments of hesitation. As the door clicked shut, Dark made their way towards the boy. He remained in front of the green screen, shaking like a leaf, sure that he was in trouble. The being stopped in front of him.

“You are not in trouble, Eric,” the creature reassured, able to hear Derekson’s thoughts.

“I’m-I’m not?” he asked, as if he wasn’t used to such a statement. Dark feels a tugging in his chest at that.

“Derek was the cause of that...noise, not you,” they sighed, careful with their choice of words. The boy was already overwhelmed. He didn’t need to magnify the situation.

“But…he did that because of me,” Eric looked down in shame, hands repeatedly wringing around his orange cloth. Dark could see tears starting to form in the boy’s eyes. “If I hadn’t m-messed up my lines, he would-wouldn’t have had to–”

“You didn’t make him do anything,” the being blurted out, no control over their words. They wanted to move away, but found their aura keeping them in place. While they couldn’t see the color of it, they could tell which one it was. Dammit! Fully under the blue soul’s control, the being put their arms around Derekson. The blue soul then pushed a calming aura into Eric. All at once, the boy’s tension disappeared. His muscles eased. The mental swarming in his head went silent, allowing him to, for once in his life, think clearly. Eric returned the hug, wrapping the creature in a nearly choking embrace. He looked up at Dark.

“Why…” Derekson paused, sniffling away the remains of his tears. “Why does he hate me?” The blue soul remembered asking that exact question.

A young boy clings to his mother, crying his little eyes out. Father is not around, so he can do so without getting disciplined.

“Mother, why does he hate me?!” the child choked out.

“Because he is a fool, starlight,” the woman, the boy’s mother, replied softly. “Anyone would be well-off knowing you,” she rubbed soothing circles into the boy's back.

“But…he says I cry too much,” the boy weakly argued.

“Because he has the emotions of a doll,” the mother scoffed. Her warm gaze remained directly on her son. “You, my dear, are a wonder.”

“Because he has the empathy of a mannequin,” the being responded, answer still out of his control.

“It’s-it’s not his fault, though,” Eric stumbled out. “I mean, everyone else died-”

“That is no excuse for a man to treat his child like that,” the blue soul interrupted. The blue in his aura grew brighter with every second of rage. “His only remaining child, no less…” the soul took a calming breath, trying again to keep his composure in front of the already overwhelmed boy. Eventually, his light was no longer blinding. Regardless, it remained lit like a halo; a comforting, guiding light. Eric couldn’t help but stare. In that gaze, the soul saw the innocence of his past. The kindness. The plea for someone to listen.

The weakness.

The soul’s control was ripped from him in an instant. Dark blinked hard, blue outline once again blending with red and gray. The creature quickly but gently removed their arms from Eric, moving them behind their back.

“I will speak to Derek about his…” Dark paused, searching for a careful word.

“Behavior. Mistreatment of employees, related or otherwise, will not be tolerated in this manor,” The being walked towards the door, but stopped before turning the knob.

“And Eric,” Dark turns slightly to look at Derekson.

“Yeah?” Eric forced the word out of his mouth. This Dark was drastically different from the Dark of moments ago.

“If you should need advice on public speech, I have prior experience that could be to your benefit,” Dark suggested.

“But be sure to advise me beforehand.”

“Really? Uh, thanks,” Eric wrung the fabric in his hand like he was getting water out. This time, however, it wasn’t completely out of nerves. With that, the creature exited, on his way to have a few choice words with Derek.

#markiplier #markiplier fanfiction #darkiplier #eric derekson #father-son esque relationship #this is not me shipping them!#I will protect this parental relationship with my soul!#This was in my online documents for over a year #and I finally got the motivation to finish it #puppeteer with a pencil #cw verbal abuse

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murfpersonalblog · 6 days

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IWTV Ep4 - Rewind the Tape

"How does Claudia joining Lestat and Louis’ family affect or change them, separately and also as a couple?"

@iwtvfanevents

IMO, Lestat saved Louis' life, but Claudia gave Louis a reason to go on living. Cuz unfortunately for Lou, he thinks his value came strictly from external sources; the value other people put on him & judged him by--his career & socio-economic status; his worth as a Black man (a product of slavery and the literal value/prices put on Black bodies; how his role/actions affected "my people"); his orientation ("identifying as a homosexual," "embracing my sexuality"); and his place/dynamic within the nuclear family unit (at the DPDL estate, and at 1132 Rue Royale).

By Ep3, Louis had lost everything--out of business when Storyville was shut down; thoroughly disrespected by white racists at every turn, from Ordinance 4118's segregation bill & Finn O'Shea "a white man who used to work for me" burning down the Azalea after stealing his money to open his own "No Coloreds Allowed" competitor, to Tom & the Alderman screwing him over ("a dumb pimp who got robbed blind years ago"); his white husband cheating on him with a white woman that used to work for him & laughing in his face about it; and Lou dumping Les during the race riots on the night Lestat wanted to make "our anniversary."

But ironically, Les had a point about making that night their "anniversary:" a night of change, evolution, transformation & rebirth for ALL of them--most obviously for Claudia, the baby phoenix vampire rising from Storyville's ashes, but for Loustat too.

IWTV focuses on how Louis was affected & changed by gaining Claudia, first as a daughter & then as a "sister." She became his central axis--everything revolved around her. Louis had discovered what unconditional love truly meant.

That was something Lou'd NEVER experienced before. Everyone's love for him came with conditions, clauses, terms of service--from Grace's conservative judgementalism, to Paul's dogmatic religiosity, to his p.o.s. mother's resentment, hate & homophobia. The affection b/t Lou & Lily was a transaction bought & paid for. And where to even start with Monsieur "Without Apology" de Lioncourt. 😒 And in turn, Louis' love was tainted--he lost touch with Grace, he was blamed for Paul's suicide (and likely blamed himself sometimes), his relationship with his mother had been ruined LONG before he became a vampire, and Lestat...jfc.

But in Claudia, Louis could finally pour all of his love & attention & affection on someone who could love him back, tabula rasa, a newborn vamp who just wanted food, home, comfort, safety & love from him, with all a child's demanding.

Sadly, Claudia did NOT love Louis unconditionally. By the end, she genuinely hated him (and ofc Lestat), for all the ways he'd "dragged his family into this mess" (especially in Paris), and hopelessly "failed" her, and chose other men over her (regardless of whether or not he really DID, that was how SHE FELT). Lou'd learn the hard way in Merrick that NOTHING he'd given her had been enough.

As horrific as it was, Merrick was the best thing for Lou; forcing himself to face Claudia's ghost, her diaries, and her true feelings about him. In the end, he had to learn that loving people (and being loved) couldn't be a crutch, or his reason to keep living or not.

Lou'd HATED himself his entire life, deeply depressed & full of "self-loathing;" and after losing Claudia he couldn't pretend to be happy anymore (even w/ Armand, despite how long they stayed together).

Same goes for Lestat. For all his vain cocksure braggadocio, Lestat hated himself too. (Despite claiming he didn't in ToTBT.)

Lestat thought his value came from what he could provide/give/do for others--the gentle son who stayed by his mother Gabrielle when the Marquis & his horrid brothers abused them; the Wolfkiller who saved the town & hunted food for his family; the gallant hero/lover who rescued the damsel in distress & whisked them away on a whirlwind adventure/romance (Gabrielle, Nicki, Louis, etc). Whatever people wanted, he'd give them, lovebomber supreme.

This ultimately culminated in his role as the vampire Maker, the god of his own Savage Garden, creating the world through his image of what he felt the world was/should be like (a la the Chateau Era).

Cuz he suffered from chronic abandonment issues--everyone he'd loved most had betrayed him & left him--first & foremost God.

So it all snowballed from Lestat's own traumatic childhood, trying to find God (freedom, food, home, comfort, safety & love) but being dragged back into Hell over & over (LITERALLY in Memnoch).

And trying to connect with his fledglings & being abandoned over & over, as vampirism had turned Lestat into a monster/the Devil.

Claudia effed up Les' God Complex, but he needed that humbling. He needed to take accountability for all the things he'd done wrong, and the ways he'd failed as her Maker/Creator/Father. Cuz we know Les loved her deeply in the books--he just didn't know HOW to love.

Together, I think Loustat was most affected/changed by having Claudia in the way they were able to come back together and rekindle their love for e/o through loving Claudia--she really was an effective bandaid gluing them together, when Lou would've left Les in Ep3.

Claudia was an outlet for Loustat: she gave Louis someone he felt he could "do right" by (after he'd failed Grace & the kids), and she gave Lestat someone he could bond with as a sadistic vampire killer.

So yeah, Loustat (mostly Louis) did the best he could by Claudia, but we see where the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Ultimately, in the books, Loustat is only able to come together to "do right" by another daughter when they take in Rose; making up for the mistakes they made with Claudia. (But even there, we see the ways Rose still suffered from loneliness/abandonment, especially when Lestat over-corrected by giving her more freedom & autonomy by being more hands-off & distant, instead of overbearing & controlling.)

#justice for claudia #vampterview #loustat #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #louis de pointe du black

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cosmicjoke · 1 year

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Uggh, Claudia’s diary entry in “Merrick” has got me all messed up.

I mean, first, it’s sad as hell how much she hated Louis, but at the same time loved him, and how she admits she loved Lestat just as much. But this part here:

“Louis will do as I wish, even unto the very destruction of Lestat, which I plan in every detail. Whereas Lestat would never cooperate with my designs upon Louis. So there my loyalty lies, under the guise of love even in my own heart.”

It makes me think of what Lestat said to Louis in “TotBT”, that he would never, ever have let anyone hurt him. Even Claudia knew it back then, and that’s why she targeted Lestat, not out of some unique hatred for him over Louis, but because she knew Lestat never would have agreed with or allowed her to kill Louis. It’s both beautiful and tragic in what that says about Lestat’s love for Louis, and of course heartbreaking that Claudia felt the need at all to kill one of them and keep the other in thrall to her basically. She chose to keep Louis because she could control him. At the same time, her awareness of her own cruelty and hatred is in itself tragic. She knows what she’s going to do, she wants and needs to do it, and yet she still fears for Louis and Lestat both.

I also found Claudia’s line about Lestat and Louis here really interesting:

“Perhaps in the court of my heart, I hold Louis far more accountable for my present state than ever I could blame my impulsive and simple Lestat.”

One thing about Lestat’s character that I think a lot of people don’t get, maybe because of the new show and how it depicts Lestat as this sort of mastermind manipulator, is that in so many ways, he was and is more like a child than Claudia herself. She calls him impulsive and simple. She knows he never meant to or designed for her to suffer or be in pain. He never planned on things going the way they did, he never tried to control or manipulate her, or hurt her. He was always just too guileless and artless for something like that. And so she can’t hold him entirely responsible for her current state, and indeed might actually blame Louis more for it. And whew, seeing Louis’ reaction to that revelation was a gut punch too. The way he doesn’t even blame Claudia for her vitriolic words about him and his “useless conscience”, and knowing he only wishes to know that her soul is at peace so he can die himself, seeing just how low he is here, it’s rough.

And the above reveal about how Lestat would never go along with or tolerate any harm coming to Louis makes the plan between Louis and David, and Louis’ plans in particular, the way they discuss them in front of Lestat, when Lestat can’t really react or know what they’re saying, all the more awful. If Lestat understood what Louis was planning to do, he would, as David correctly thinks, do everything in his power to stop it.

#Merrick #louis de pointe du lac #David Talbot #Lestat De Lioncourt #Claudia

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hekateinhell · 9 months

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I’m blanking on the lesmand passage in merrick, which one is that?

However, with vicious and sordid blood drinkers breaking down the very doors of St. Elizabeth's and coming up the iron stairs of our very own town house in the Rue Royale, it was Armand who was able to rouse Lestat and goad him into taking the situation in hand.

Lestat, having already waked to listen to the piano music of a fledgling vampire, blamed himself for the tawdry invasion. It was he who had created the "Coven of the Articulate," as we had come to be called. And so, he declared to us in a hushed voice, with little or no enthusiasm for the battle, that he would put things right. Armand—given in the past to leading covens, and to destroying them—assisted Lestat in a massacre of the unwelcome rogue vampires before the social fabric was fatally breached.

Having the gift of fire, as the others called it—that is, the means to kindle a blaze telekinetically—Lestat destroyed with flames the brash invaders of his own lair, and all those who had violated the privacy of the more retiring Marius and Pandora, Santino, and Louis and myself. Armand dismembered and obliterated those who died at his hand. Those few preternatural beings who weren't killed fled the city, and indeed many were overtaken by Armand, who showed no mercy whatsoever to the misbegotten, the heartlessly careless, and the deliberately cruel. ~ David, Merrick

Armand manages to wake up Lestat after he falls back into his comatose state post-TVA and they go on a little murder spree together before Lestat resumes his beauty sleep. 🥹

#this book gave me approximately three good things and this is one of them #you ask and hekate answers #armand/lestat #vc #quotes #the vampire chronicles

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qqueenofhades · 2 years

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You know, it remains absolutely wild to me how... like... we know exactly who is responsible for this, where, when, and why. There's a short list of like 10 people. It looks like this:

Donald Trump, for being a fascist narcissistic grifter, con man, and criminal, who nonetheless managed to weaponise enough white grievance, backlash against Obama, voter apathy, Clinton smears from the Republican slime machine, and leftist moral posturing to get elected as President and have three Supreme Court picks, all of which were obtained dishonestly;

Mitch McConnell, for being the absolute worst, not to mention proudly on record as wanting to obstruct everything a Democratic president ever does, a power-hungry shriveled racist who refused to even hold hearings for Merrick Garland and then filled that seat with Neil Gorsuch, colluded with Trump to force Anthony Kennedy to suddenly retire and install drunken sex abuser frat boy Brett Kavanaugh, then jammed Amy Coney Barrett onto the bench to fill RBG's seat, eight days before the 2020 election, in brazen open hypocrisy of everything he had said about SCOTUS and election years, since the only principle that matters to him is maintaining Republican power;

Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Barrett themselves, for doing exactly what they were put on the court by theocratic dark money fundamentalist operatives to do, and joining Bush-era fascists Thomas, Roberts, and Alito to overrule Roe vs Wade, as the culmination of decades of deliberate and openly stated Republican policy;

Rupert Murdoch and the Fox News disinformation ecosystem, for creating the alternate reality that made Trump possible and continues to empower his sycophants, supporters, cronies, and other bad actors, and generated much of the anti-Clinton slime and smears that made their way into the mainstream, were endlessly repeated by so-called respectable media outlets like the NY Times, and poisoned the American electorate, already disposed to misogyny, against the most qualified (and historic) Democratic Presidential candidate there has likely ever been;

James Comey, for deciding to issue the "we are still investigating HER EEEEMAILS!" letter a week before the 2016 election, which took just enough off Clinton's increasingly narrow margins to put Trump over the top thanks to the rigged and racist Electoral College, which has often functioned exactly as designed in helping non-popular-vote-winning Republican presidents into power;

Vladimir Putin, for running a well-attested and repeatedly confirmed wide-ranging disinformation and interference campaign in the 2016 election to boost Trump, the Kremlin's pet stooge, and discredit Clinton, as part of his overall and equally well-attested scheme to disrupt and destroy Western liberal democratic institutions and boost Russian power;

And like... in terms of direct, locatable, empirically provable concrete responsibility, that's it. I'm even being charitable and leaving Bernie off this list, though I feel that he played a major part in creating both the 2016 clusterfuck and the "I'm too good to ever vote unless for my perfect socialist messiah" attitude that now prevails among much of the Online Left. That is a small number of names. Their actions are all verifiable in public records and a wide variety of news sources, both partisan and non-partisan. (Protip, anything you can only find in one news source that precisely matches your own ideological beliefs is, uh, deeply suspect.) I'm a historian. I work with verifiable facts and evidence, even if they might lead me to conclusions that I personally don't like. And any wide-sweeping broad generalisation, with absolutely no specific evidence or sources cited, is... not how it works and will get you a bad mark on an essay or research project every time.

So against this short list of 8 people, all demonstrably bad actors with bad motivations, what does your average Online Leftist do? They blame Obama, who "said he would codify Roe vs Wade and didn't!" Well, you might say, did Obama ever have a filibuster-proof pro-choice majority in the Senate? No, he didn't, but that's not an excuse, it just means he and Harry Reid didn't try hard enough (this already after McConnell's announcement about making Obama a one-term president and obstructing everything). Obama had the greatest financial meltdown since the Great Depression on his hands, and then spent all his political capital passing the Affordable Care Act, lost the House in 2010 as a result and the Senate in 2014, and which, despite being an actual, y'know, codified law, has been subject to literally hundreds of Republican challenges to gut, reverse, or overrule it as much as possible? YOU'RE JUST MAKING EXCUSES! WHO CARES ABOUT THE ECONOMY? OBAMA COULD HAVE DONE IT IF HE CARED AND FORESAW THE FUTURE!

Likewise, the left's other favorite scapegoat is RBG, for not "retiring in time" or otherwise precisely predicting the moment of her own death and who would be in office at the time. Literally no blame for McConnell, the one who actually and deliberately crammed the three illegitimate justices onto the bench in defiance of all protocol and precedent. So let's see... the so-called progressives are blaming a Democratic black man and a liberal Jewish woman for the actions of a bunch of evil Republican white men. Or the other laughable false equivalence I saw yesterday, which claimed that ever since the Democrats were elected in 2020, civil rights, LGBT rights, and now abortion rights were being stripped away (with the clear implication that it was their fault). This just happened on its own, I guess, and not because specific Republican-controlled state legislatures and the Republican-packed Supreme Court had deliberately done this as a strategy of pursuing and consolidating fascist power even after Trump's forced departure from the scene. Name one non-Joe Manchin/Kyrsten Sinema instance of the Democrats actively doing the same thing. I will wait.

This is not even to mention the leftists repeating straight-up QAnon propaganda about how Joe Biden is a racist sexist child molester and, I quote, "the literal scum of the earth." There are legitimate policy and performance grounds to criticise Biden on: his speech yesterday said all the right things, but it remains to be seen how much of a promised "whole of government" action will actually be made, including the available powers of the executive branch to which Biden, as chief executive, has access. His personal response has, at times, likewise seemed slow and flat-footed. But the Online Leftists have abandoned all pretense of a rational and reality-based critique, in favor of hurling the most overheated personal moral slanders possible, like the Puritans at a witch-burning. Again, I ask, we're supposed to believe that these are the progressives?

I saw a stat recently about how only 23% of American adults use Twitter. That is... not even one quarter of the country. Out of that, the Online Leftists are only a tiny percentage. These ideas are not popular or universal or just something that "everyone believes" outside of a carefully curated echo chamber. It may feel all-encompassing, but it's not, and frankly, its denizens seem to be interested in anything except building workable, practical coalitions, if it would mean taking any criticism or compromising on their exalted ideals (which, as I have noted throughout this post, really aren't as great as they seem). As I've said before, my own political views are as far left as it's possible to go, and yet, I doubtless will continue to receive more messages like the charming anon from the other day who told me to kill myself for being "bootlicking slime." This is how they like to communicate with people who otherwise agree with them on every policy level (at least as outwardly stated and certainly not as practiced). This... kind of seems like a problem.

I've likewise written before about how ideological revolutions to drastically remake societies with the Right Idea have never, ever succeeded, and only bring more pain, suffering, and death. To all those people preaching "revolution!" as the solution: you realize that all the idealistic young students manning the barricades in Les Miserables get shot, right? And that it's not an actual, legitimate political plan, not least because it isn't a plan? It's a reactive coping-mechanism magical-thinking wish that everything bad would just magically disappear in a burst of glory, and everything would be better now. It's comforting to daydream about, but it's not something any sane, rational adult really puts any stock in, since it's never something that has ever worked in history. What revolution? How? When? Surely you don't mean like the January 6 rioters, unless you do, since overthrowing the illegimate government with overwhelming violence is, oops, once again straight out of the right-wing playbook. Still waiting for those promised progressive ideals!

Basically, even in the unlikely event that they actually acquired it, I wouldn't trust the current crop of Online Leftists with power any more than I trust the Republicans, despite them outwardly sharing my beliefs and values. They haven't proven that they're interested in anything except punishing those who don't hold their exact narrow and rigid idea of "moral" views, blaming other people who again, think largely or entirely like them, threatening or using violence against anyone who disagrees with them, and finding ways to constantly excuse and ignore the actual perpetrators of illiberal Christofascism. All, again, while claiming to be progressive! Like the AO3 anti crowd, who thinks that perfect morality in the world can be achieved by aggressively and abusively policing the fiction that people write for fun in their free time, it's about using cult-like techniques and tactics to position the entire outside world as the morally inferior enemy and building in-group solidarity by attacking them. Which seems like, oh, I dunno... Trump supporters. Again. Womp womp.

I don't know. Call me an old person; I definitely am. But as terrible and cynical and generationally damaging as the Dobbs decision is, and how it represents the greatest legal denial of personhood and autonomy to American women in most of our lifetimes, there's something even worse about seeing the generation who claims to "know better" blaming the people who opposed it, excusing the people who did it, and then going straight into more nonsense about why it's not actually bad and/or twisting themselves into pretzels to invent the hypothetical (white, rich) woman who somehow won't be affected by this. Maybe that's just me in thinking that is a profoundly flawed and wrong response on literally every level, but you know, I suspect it's not. So yeah.

#hilary for ts #history #american history #politics for ts #long post

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whumpacabra · 3 months

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34. Pressure Cooker

Referenced military setting and activities, referenced past captivity and torture, law enforcement mention, murder mention, referenced systematic and internalized racism, past trauma, victim blaming, fictional politics

AU Masterpost / Previous / Next

Harrison was tired. He wasn’t that surprised - his body had been pushed to its physical limit, and finally having a respite from survival meant an exhausting recovery. He was surprised he wasn’t dozing off in that cozy diner, listening to a static filled radio. Lucy had gone out for a smoke with Merrill close behind, and Thomas was drinking his tea, eyes glued on the snow falling outside the window.

(Not too long ago he would have chided Elias for getting distracted by the weather during a mission debrief.)

“What’ll you do?” Thomas’ voice was timid, eyes drifting down to the mug in his hands. “Across the border, I mean.”

“Making sure we’re safe would be a good start. Make sure my family’s safe - whether that’s here or there.” Harrison studied the steam rising from Thomas’ oversteeped tea. “I don’t…Wolf can do what he wants. Stay, leave - last thing I want to do is start giving orders.” He chuckled weakly, grief thick in his lungs as his eyes dropped to his own scarred hands. “God knows I’m shit at following them myself.”

“How…” Thomas swallowed a mouthful of bitter tea and took a shuddering breath. “I mean, how does - how does this even happen? I - and why? Why the - the terrorist - why even…” He swallowed more bitter tea, anger and confusion painting his pale face. Harrison glanced between his hands and Thomas’ young, naive eyes.

“Why’re you a cop?” Thomas physically startled at the question, tea nearly splashing from his cup. He set it down slowly, eyes dropping to the table.

“Something to do I guess. Sheriff kinda took me in after my folks passed.” His brow furrowed, pale eyes glancing up to Harrison’s own. “Why?”

“Just curious I guess - well, I mean… I only signed up because of my dad.” He couldn’t help the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “He loved this country - a whole helluva lot more than I ever did. Between my sister going to med school and me off to boot camp I mean - we were his American dream.”

“Sounds like a good patriot.”

“He was.” Harrison huffed, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “Got shot on his way home from the store two - three, three years ago now.”

“Oh…I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Don’t be - you’re not the cops that called it a random homicide and never caught the fuckers that did it.”

“It wasn’t random?” There was a tense, curious gleam in Thomas’ eyes.

“A Sudanese immigrant named Mahmoud gets gunned down a month after 9/11. Cops said there was no evidence racial motivation, so as far as they care, it was just a random tragedy.”

“That’s just - they’re idiots. What kind of investigation - just, just gives up like that?”

“You’re young, Thomas.” Harrison shook his head, eyes turning to the snow outside. The ignorant indignity of youth was clear on the young man’s face. “Most people don’t care about justice or truth. They just care about staying comfortable. And it’s a helluva lot more comfortable for some cops to bury a brown man without any questions asked than it is to consider why someone killed him.”

Thomas’s expression fell slack, thoughts churning behind his shadowed eyes. There was a beat of silence, and Harrison felt as though his chest was carved open, heart exposed. Maybe it was, because he couldn’t stop talking.

“Two years ago I got reassigned.” He had thought about it - they all had, at some point. At least Merrick and Elias had, in silent code and whispered conspiracies while they laid bloodied and broken. “I needed something to throw myself into so I didn’t go on a vigilante justice spree so I accepted. Task Force 42, as I told you. Something about psychological profiles and mission efficiency. Same thing happened to the others in my cohort - we didn’t know each other at all. Hell, Merrick had been stationed in Germany the last 4 years.”

Harrison swallowed, only half sure he cared to tell Thomas, but those pale eyes were transfixed, expression open and curious. Like a child listening to war stories. Like Harrison’s niece asking about the bad guys he caught and epic battles he fought.

“We were good. I don’t know shit about psychology or whatever but they handpicked us to get shit done and by god we did.” It wasn’t always pretty. It wasn’t always just. “We…you’ve heard about the videos, right? Terrorists executing prisoners, torturing them, carrying around trophies.” Thomas’ nod was grim and serious. The news loved their shock value viewing numbers. “We had some of our own. Taking prisoners. Interrogating them. Putting them out of their misery. Not - not that my team did that directly. We just…caught the bad guys.”

Harrison shuddered, the memory of explaining his job to his young, impressionable niece bitter. He had been so desperate to prove himself to the higher brass. Self loathing and trying to show them - ‘see! I’m one of the good ones.’ He hated that he ever deigned to stoop to their level. He hated that he ever thought it immunized him to the cruelty of the war machine.

“The enemy is easy to - it’s amazing. It’s amazing how stupid it all seems now. How trusting we were.” In spite of his exhaustion, or maybe because of it, his brain was buzzing with unfiltered understanding. “They told us shoot, we shot. Capture, we captured. The enemy was whoever they told us the enemy was. Because - right, because - because they had our best interests in mind. The country’s best interests in mind. The top brass were duty bound, same as us, to do right by justice and honor and all that bullshit.”

“So, so when you wake up after heading out for another tour, another mission for the good of your people and home, another trip to push back the enemy…god, maybe - maybe if we weren’t so caught up in it all we would have realized.” The emergency lights inlaid in the ceiling of an underground, cavernous bunker. The electrically locked stone tomb. “I - I don’t know why. Why the - the facade or why - why us. Wolf - ” His voice cracked, throat bobbing. “Wolf - they didn’t send - there was just me, Merrick and Elias then. Just us. And Wolf - ”

Oh, how vividly he remembered every second after meeting the Wolf. How wrong he had been about every sneer and smirk. What he thought was glee was fear. A shine of superiority to mask the terror. Puppet strings tied too tight around a scarred throat.

“God, Wolf.” Harrison dropped his head in his hands, elbows propped on the table. “I can’t even begin to - I hated him. I hated him so much for so long and now I just…can’t. I, maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I broke - I did. A few times. Too many times. But I can’t - god I should hate him.”

“Why should you hate him?” Thomas’ voice was so small. So much like Elias. Like the small voice Harrison had strangled to death with his own bare hands. Reality crackled in his brain, cold ice cracking in a too-warm drink.

Maybe he still hated Wolf, he just hated himself more.

“I…I don’t know. I did. I thought - thought he was one of them.” It frightened Harrison, how desperately he felt he needed to protect Wolf. Or at least, how Wolf was perceived. No one needed to know what happened down there. No one needed to know what Wolf had done. What Harrison had done. “But he - god, he was just trying to stay alive. How can I hate him for that?”

There was a moment of silence, save for the static of the radio and the snow outside. Thomas opened his mouth to say something only for the bell above the door to ring, Lucy and Merrill dusting snow from their white hair. Lucy glided up to the booth, snagging a fresh pot of hot water from behind the counter.

“Need anythin’ else, hon?”

“No ma’am. Thank you.” Harrison’s voice was tight, breaths shuddering as he fought down the urge to burst into tears. Later, across the border, when they were safe he could afford to lose it. To grieve and rage and scream. But now Thomas was getting a fresh cup of tea from Lucy, and Mer was watching her wife with love in her eyes.

The cigarette smoke that lingered on Lucy’s clothes made Harrison’s stomach turn.

AU Masterpost / Previous / Next

(An AU of my Freelancers series)

Taglist: @i-eat-worlds @whumpy-daydreams

#whump #past trauma #past captivity #past torture #military setting #military activities #law enforcement #murder #fictional politics #idk if everything I put in the tw block applies but I wanted to cover all my bases #freelancers au #‘didn’t you just give us a lore dumpy chapter like two updates ago?’ yes. and I’ll do it again (joking threat)#Harrison has been out of hell for 24 hours he deserves a little breakdown. just a little. as a treat.#another one of those chapters I’ve had done for like a week but I keep staring at it expecting it to be better everytime I edit it #I can’t look at it anymore. woe. mediocre writing be upon ye.

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