#messy grieving baby queen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kpopisthereasonihavenolife · 4 years

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kim taehyung / reader [f]

genre: royal/fantasy au, arranged marriage au, serpent prince!taehyung, priestess!reader, very soft romance, slow burn

warning(s)!!: slow burn (there is a lot of backstory oof), insecurity, jealous taehyung (who isn’t completely aware he’s jealous), heartache (a lot i’m sorry), hurt/comfort, almost nudity or translucent wet clothes, attempt at picking a fight/no-good townsfolk, past kidnap attempts, very minor depictions of violence, very breif mention of death, taehyung cries oops, y/n loves so much it hurts, taehyung being the most devoted boy to ever devote, obvs. religious themes (i.e. prayers, worship, offerings etc.), the royal family isn’t toxic and is in fact very sweet, jungkook is featured as a monk who refuses to cut his hair

w.count: 16.6k

Series | One-shot | Two-shot | Drabble | [Rated: PG-15 ]

synopsis: When he was born, Prince Taehyung was marked as the Serpent King’s Descendant with the mark of scales on his chest to prove it. As he grew up, he was appointed a playmate who would soon be training in the royal shrine as a maiden because of her unusually large spiritual power. They were pronounced engaged when Taehyung was just shy of his teenage years by royal command and he did nothing to fight the arrangement. Now, you’re a grown woman and head of the shrine as the Center Priestess and devotee to the shrine and royal family with a heart filled almost too full of love for your future husband-to-be. When the wedding is announced and a ball is held in an advanced celebration you wonder, does your fiancé really want to marry you? Or is he just following his father’s royal orders? You don’t know what your heart can't take more: the idea of being rejected and unloved, or never knowing the true feelings of Prince Taehyung’s heart.

t.list bc @lysannnnaa & @bella-victoria002 wanted to be notified when it was posted!

The Serpent King was an old mythical king of ages that had stories upon stories spun about him.

He was a man given the powers of a great sea serpent and among his journey to harness his powers and grow as the future king he knew he was destined to become, he traveled far and wide until he came upon an island. This island was completely devoid of creatures- be it human or animal- aside from a giant snake he had found lay sleeping in a cave by the sea. The Serpent King decided to make this island his home- and began to craft and build his kingdom to which he would rule- the snake by his side.

Years passed and soon there it was, the kingdom the Serpent King had dreamt of. However, before he could see it continue to grow and prosper, he fell ill and weak. Dying on his bed surrounded by his people and the snake that had accompanied him in his goals, he prayed that the power in which he possessed would one day be reborn inside a new future king.

The mighty island was named by the late Serpent King as the Hissing Isle. When he passed, the kingdom took not to grieving, but to work and worship. They built a shrine alongside the castle he had crafted. Created memorials to which townsfolk and the occasional visitor may visit and pray to. Monuments of him with a giant snake wound around his body. His people continued his kingdom and a new royal family was chosen and so the generations passed; everyone waiting until the next Serpent King would be born.

His companion snake was never seen again, rumor spreading that it took the to seas to watch over the island because it’s master was in the sky among the heavens.

Centuries later, the royal castle was in full bustle as the queen had gone into labor unexpectedly. Ushering her to a delivery room in the medical wing of the castle, the king not far behind as he left his work and notes in his study at the news of his wife. Servants very quickly scurried about in panic for the arrival of the new royal child.

It was an agonizing five hours later when the new baby prince was born. However, among the servants and the spiritual monk with the king and queen, none spoke. The room was silent aside from the cries of the newborn baby- the same baby who had a mark on his chest. A mark that was small, just the size of his newborn fist and detailed so delicately as a patch of scales.

The king shed a tear as he smiled at his wife, holding her hand to soothe and congratulate her on a well done delivery of her first child. The baby was soon cleaned and swaddled in a bundle of the softest cloth before the queen was requesting to hold her son. As he was placed in the woman’s arms, she smiled down at him as he instantly calmed. The king sat beside the two, his hand on his queen’s leg as they both looked at the mark on their son once more.

The Serpent King had finally chosen a new spirit to gift power to. Reincarnated into this small, healthy baby prince hundreds upon hundreds of years into the future. Serpent Prince Kim Taehyung, that is his name.

Two years after the young prince was born, another baby was born with special powers. Born in a brilliant blue aura and a strong, healthy body, a shrine monk had been shocked speechless at the amount of rare spiritual energy the newborn infant possessed. It was decided among the few hours after her birth, that this baby girl would grow to be a magnificent shrine priestess and when the time would call for it, her training to harness her abilities would begin.

Both the serpent blooded prince and the infant priestess would soon grow into bodies that would learn many things and experience many occasions and emotions. First, however, they would need to meet.

“Y/n, come here for a spell,” your mother called for your attention as you sat at a small open chest filled with small wooden toys and bells and ribbons you had been gifted. It had been four years since you were born and to you, your life had just started as your memory finally started allowing you to retain information and people’s faces.

Your mother stood at the door to your room in her dress of a distasteful shade of brown that laced around her stomach to shrink her waist and strapped over her shoulders. The dress trapped the off shoulder white blouse she wore over her torso as her hair was braided along the back of her head, pinned up and out of the way.

You looked back over your small shoulder still dressed in your pale yellow nightgown that reached your ankles with sleeves that covered your entire hand to your fingertips when you stood. Hair unkempt and unbrushed from sleep, as you had woken up and immediately took to your toy chest to occupy your time until you were fetched by your single parent.

Standing, you abandoned your trinkets as you rushed to your mother’s side. Grabbing her skirt in your fists and pushing your face into the fabric of her dress, giggling at the warm embrace she gave you. Her hands pushed on your shoulders and back as she leaned to greet you a good morning.

“Good morning, my dearest little girl,” your mother cooed as you lifted your face from her skirt and smiled up at her. You were always a shy child, but she hoped now that you were more aware of your surroundings, you would grow out of your shyness. She gently pushed you away just enough so she could kneel on the floor in front of you, brushing your messy hair out of your face with her fingers. “We have to get you dressed. Today is a very big day,” she told you.

“What does that mean, mommy?” You asked, your small voice pitched and as sweet as song bells to your mother’s ears. How she loved the sound of your voice.

“It means, dearest, that you’re going to meet someone who will become your friend today.” The woman watched your puffy child-fat-cheeks, extend in a pout as you frowned. “Now,” she started, softly but sternly, “do not pout like that. It would make me very happy if you would play with another child.”

“Well,” your small voice started as your pout lessened, “if mommy wants me to, I can try.” your mother smiled as she gently kissed your forehead. You were only four, but you were very kind and gentle, and smarter than you thought.

“That’s my girl,” she encouraged as she backed you up into your room to ready you for the day. Placing you in a dress the color of daffodils that reached just past your knee and the long sleeves open at the shoulders, your mother messed with your head.

You admired your dress in the standing mirror in your room. Ruffles of soft yellow running around your skirt and the white fabric on your chest dotted with small flowers. Hair now brushed and pinned only partially back with a flower clip, your mother was soon sliding flat, black shoes over your feet. “You look beautiful, dearest,” she cooed as she kissed your cheek.

“Mommy’s way more pretty than me!” You cheered as she stood and you took her hand, letting her lead you out of your room.

You had lived in the castle your entire life, but only recently did you start remembering the layout of the massive royal home. You often remembered going to the shrine more often than not, feeling so peaceful and calm inside the shrine’s walls. The fountain inside with a statue of a man and a snake always seemed warm to you.

Your mother walked slowly at your side as you clung to her hand the entire journey from your room, down the halls, past servants and guards alike until she came to stand at a grand, red doorway. You gripped her hand tighter, nerves bubbling in your small stomach.

She offered two easy knocks that reverberated through the halls, bouncing off the walls in echoes that seemed so loud you wanted to cover your ears.

“Majesty, it is Lily of the Shrine Courts. I have brought my daughter as you have asked,” she announced to the closed door. You thought her crazy until a voice echoed from behind the doors offering her entrance into the room beyond the red entrance. She looked down at you before smiling. “Do not worry, I will be with you the whole time,” she assured as you nodded, unaware of who was going to be inside.

She pushed the door open with loud, aching creaks as you followed her in. your young eyes were wide as you looked around the room you had entered with your mother. Large, wide and open with a single red carpet with gold trim lining the floor from the door to a set of 5 steps with thrones sitting atop them. There were three, dark wooden thrones in your line of sight.

One on the far left was the biggest of the three. Glorious and plush with red cushions that looked like you could jump on and sink right into the cushion. Gold trim surrounded the cushions as golden tassels hung from the arm rests of the throne.

The middle throne was much less extravagant and smaller in size, but still as beautiful as the one before. With A fanned, three curved humps at the top of the back and red cloth that hung from the cushion like a bed-skirt over a box spring.

The third, was just about the same size as the middle one. Resembling both the first and second, it was like a hybridized fashion of the first two- a child of the two thrones so to speak.

In two of those three thrones, sat two adults. In the first, glorious throne was a man dressed in black, gold and purple with a fur lined robe over his shoulders. A golden, magnificent crown sat along his head. Next to him was a woman, a small tiara sat atop her pinned and folded hair as her dress was a soft purple and flowed so elegantly you knew without touching it that the fabric would be soft.

You knew without a doubt it was the king and queen of Hissing Isle. The royal family that lived in Serpent Castle. You had never truly met them face to face before, and you thought your legs were going to freeze then collapse.

Your mother soon came to a respectful halt a fair distance in front of the steps leading up to the thrones before she lowered her chest in a deep bow. In theory you would have copied your mother, but you simply couldn’t move due to the nerves rampaging through your body.

The queen looked at you with a smile on her face as she soon rose from her throne and picked up the floor length gown as she revealed her jeweled heels as she stepped carefully down the steps and soon was approaching you both. You jolted as you felt your mother’s hand on the back of your head.

The queen was soon kneeling in front of you, her graceful beauty within arms reach, but all you could do is stare in wide-eyed awe and anxiousness.

“You have a lovely daughter, Lady Lily,” the queen's smooth, rich voice spoke to your mother even though she was looking at you. She reached out her hand as she brushed the back of her finger across her cheek and through your freshly brushed hair as you gulped. “Hello, sweetheart,” she softly called.

“Hello,” you croaked out as the hand of your mother’s brushed along the back of your head, soothing you.

“Do you know why you’re here this morning, child?” You nodded your head at the queen’s question “There are many things you are destined for, small lady. First, my husband and I would like to introduce you to another child just a couple years older than you. We hope you both can become friends.” You silently nod once again, still gripping onto your mother’s dress like a lifeline.

The queen stands back up and steps away from you as she exchanges words with your mother. You look around the throne room and back behind the curtains that drape behind the set of thrones you see a faint silhouette. You shuddered, thinking it was one of those shadow monsters you see in the corner of your vision.

You jolt when the shadow seems to have locked eye contact with you. You tug on your mother’s dress and reach to grab her hand as you look up towards her. She’s soon looking down at you, her precious child with eyes that can see almost too well, before she is grabbing your hand back tightly in hers.

“What is it, dearest?” You crush your face into the fabric of her dress as you feel her leg behind it. “Y/n,” she cooed, trying to have you behave just a bit better in front of the royal family.

“There’s a shadow in here,” you muttered as you felt her other hand on your head again, avoiding snagging her fingernails into your clipped hair. “Behind those big chairs, there’s a shadow,” you whine. Both your mother and the queen turn to look behind the set of glorious seats and the queen only smiles at the ‘shadow’ you had seen.

“Oh my,” the queen breathed, “why are you hiding back there again, Taehyung,” the queen called. You looked up from the fabric of your mother’s skirt as you peered around her to see the shadow move- making you jump. Soon, a young boy was walking out of the shadows, dressed in a black shirt and pants with a golden vest of thick embroidered shoulders and hems on his small framed torso. His blonde hair shining like a star. Your body relaxed- it wasn’t a shadow after all.

“I apologize for her,” your mother addressed and you instantly felt guilty. Your mother was apologizing because you jumped to conclusions because you weren’t able to tell the shadows from people yet; these shadows only just started appearing in your vision recently and they scared you. “Her eyes can see more than what others can, so she hasn’t learned spirits from humans yet.”

“I see the rumors about her abilities are true then,” from behind the queen, the king who had been sitting in silence had finally spoken. “I can feel her spiritual pressure even from here, and she’s of such young age. You should be proud of your daughter, Lady Lily.” The king rose from his throne as he descended the steps and called the child boy over to his and the queen’s side.

Soon, the king and queen stood in front of you as the young boy stood between them. You didn’t need to be told that this was their child- the prince of whom you knew of but had also never met. The look in his dark eyes made you shiver, like he wasn’t a happy child. But, the royal family was so kind and made you feel warm- why would his eyes look so grim then?

The king soon placed a large hand on the prince’s small shoulder.

“Young Y/n, as of today I would be honored if you would keep my son company.” You looked up at the king with a dropped jaw. The prince was the new friend your mother had told you about? You looked back down at the prince- his expression unchanged as if he was unhappy about your newfound company. Maybe that is why his eyes looked that way, he didn’t want a playmate. “Is that alright?” The king asked as if your four year old little heart had the gall to say no the royalty.

“Yes, sir,” you squeaked in shyness. “It’s alright,” you confirmed with your small, bell voice your mother always praised. It made the queen and king smile as the queen wrapped her arm around her son's shoulders, kneeling to his level and gaining his attention.

“Now, Taehyung,” she started softly, “Y/n is going to be your friend, so you treat her kindly, alright?” You jolted and sucked in a small breath when the prince looked back to you before returning his bland gaze to his mother.

“Yes, mother,” he muttered. The queen brushed back Taehyung’s hair and sent him off, out of the throne room. Soon, your mother was advising you to follow after him. With a small head pat from your mother and a gulp of attempted bravery, you trotted after the six-year-old prince who didn’t seem very happy to have a new friend.

It had been four days since you were assigned Prince Taehyung’s playmate and friend. You often spent time in the library reading while he studied, or walking behind him as he roamed through the gardens before sitting on a bench with a book, you sitting on the opposite end of the same bench.

Every night your mother would tuck you into bed and ask how your day with the prince was and you would always tell her the same thing. You were nothing but a duckling following around the royal prince as he never spoke to you even if you spoke to him. You feared he disliked you and you often sought your mother’s comfort as you would nearly cry at the thought of your first real friend hating you.

Every morning you’d wake up and pick out the prettiest dress and most eye-catching hair pins and ribbons to try and attract the prince’s attention. Even when you tried wearing shoes that clack with each step, he never even spared you a glance.

It was midday of the fifth day of being Taehyung’s new friend when you decided to try and be more aggressive with your mission you had dubbed: ‘make Prince Taehyung my friend’. You both sat in the library as he was scribbling in a book with another book open next to him. You had recognized the book he was studying today- a book of hymns from the past that are typically sung about or for the Serpent King’s spirit and the Sea Snake. You were currently being taught those same hymns by the shrine maidens and monks during the time you weren’t trailing Taehyung.

“Prince Taehyung,” you called softly, knowing he wouldn’t answer you. You swallowed your nervous breath as you pushed more words out instead of giving up instantly like the days prior. “Are you very interested in the Sea Snake and Serpent King hymns? If so, I can sing them for you,” you offered. You saw his fountain pen halt in his hand for just a moment before he resumed writing.

You almost smiled, that was proof he was listening to you- just ignoring you.

“You know,” you continued, stepped just ever so closer to the chair he sat in as his feet dangled, still far too short to reach the floor. “I’m being taught a lot of those from the shrine maidens. They said I need to know them because I’m going to become a shrine maiden one day too. They told me I’m going to be a priestess and that the hymns would be very important to know when I’m all grown up.”

He didn’t pay you any mind just as you were used to. You wracked your young mind to think as to why he was so uninterested in you. You’ve always wanted a friend around your age, and he was only two years older than you. He wasn’t so superior to you as a six-year-old that you had to be ignored. Maybe he was just a snobby prince? But, that didn't seem to fit him. The aura he gave off felt sad and calm to you- like he wanted something he just wasn’t getting, but staying to himself about it.

Then, you had a thought.

Prince Taehyung is the Serpent King’s descendant- his reincarnation as you were told- who was blessed with the ancient king’s blood. He would one day rule the kingdom and lead the Hissing Isle into a golden age- even more peaceful and prosperous than the Serpent Kingdom is right now.

“Prince Taehyung,” you addressed him again. You had gotten beside him and gently grabbed the cloth of his shirt around his elbow between your fingers. “Are you sad about being born like the Serpent King?” For the first time the child prince stopped his scribbling and the air around you changed.

It became tense and you felt like you were suffocating. Did you cross a line? Were you supposed to just keep your mouth shut and follow him like a little duckling for the rest of your childhood until he finally snapped and told you to leave him alone? You shivered. Would he snap now? Would he yell and tell you to be gone because you were prying into business that isn’t yours?

“Am I sad about being born this way?” The first sentence ever spoken to you from the prince’s mouth and it felt sharp as it hit your heart. “Am I sad about being told who I am and who I’m supposed to be? Am I sad about being so different that people can’t even use my name? Am I sad that I’m just ‘Serpent Prince Taehyung’?” He finally turned to look at you, his dark eyes lined with frustrated tears. “Wouldn’t you be sad about that?” He softly choked.

“Prince,” you called in a small breath, unable to recognize that the small prince had been carrying such a burden on his shoulders. Was he really outcast like he claims? True, when you followed him around, all people did was bow their head and offer praises of the blood of the serpent king.

“How are you okay with the shrine telling you who you’re destined to become?” He asked, turning away from the book full of hymns and swiveling to look at you standing next to him.

“Because my mom said I’d grow up to be a great priestess one day,” you spoke in a heavily whispered answer. “And my mom would never lie to me, so I believe her.”

“She’s planning your life for you. Doesn’t that make you mad? Shouldn’t you have the freedom to choose what you want?” This was the most the prince had ever spoken in your presence.

“I’m not mad,” you quickly deny. “I really like learning all the hymns and the dances the shrine is teaching me. I get to dance with bells and ribbons and sing songs that will help people when I grow up. I get scared of shadows and odd creatures I see, but the more I learn from the monks, the more I can face those scary things. I have so much fun with the shrine people, so I could never be mad about growing up like they say I will.” You let go of the prince's sleeves only to grab his hand hesitantly.

His hand is relaxed in yours, not moving to pull away or to return the gesture. You think you finally understand why the prince’s eyes are so sad. He’s scared of his future and feels trapped. You step closer to his chair, making him lean back as you got into his personal bubble that had never been popped before.

“If you’re unhappy, the king and queen would surely listen to you!” You announced with a brow furrowed in determination. “If you told you mom and dad, I’m sure they’d listen and accept whatever you said! My mom always tells me to tell her anything and as long as I’m honest, she’ll listen without anger. I’m sure your mom and dad think the same thing, Taehyung.”

His eyes were wide as you quickly spoke- throwing out his title in the spur of the moment. Advising him to go talk to his parents about his woes? Addressing him so boldly in an attempt to cheer him up after all he’s been doing for as long as he could remember is brood in the idea of his set in stone future? Could he really tell his parents that he was scared of letting them down? He was just a child, a small little six-year-old who was scared of disappointing his parents.

“I can’t tell them,” he whispered to himself more than you, trying to get the idea of speaking his mind out of his head. He couldn’t be selfish, not when so many people expect so much from him.

“Then, you can tell me and I’ll tell them for you!” You announced again. “You’re my friend, Taehyung, and if you can’t tell them, then I’ll do it for you.” The prince dropped his jaw as he looked into the total seriousness of your eyes. You meant it; every word you’ve said you have meant. You looked down at your hand when you felt the boy grip it back, holding your hand tightly.

“You don’t think they’d be mad at me?” His true colors of youth finally broke through. You smiled brightly at him as you shook your head. “Then, I guess I can try… later, at dinner maybe.” you saw a small hue paint his cheeks as you giggled at the sudden cute turn his demeanor took. “You said you knew some of these?” He asked, referring back to his book of hymns. You nodded as he got up, let go of your hand and fetched a new chair for you, setting it beside him as he climbed back into his. “Then, could you sing one?”

Your child-like voice of bells sang any hymn he could find you knew and he could feel the serpent blood in him react to it, reaching out to the songs it found so familiar.

Two years passed, and Taehyung had finally started becoming a prince he could be proud of. He had apologized to you and your mother for being so rude for the first week of your friendship, but since then, you and he were inseparable. He would often come to the shrine to see you practice your dances and listen to your songs.

The prince was smiling more and enjoying his studies. He often talked with his parents when he had troubles now, and he had accepted his role as the future king. He had thought he needed to be perfect in the past, and now he knew that as long as he did his best and never lied, it would all be alright. Failure kept him humble, but it would never hold him back like it once did before.

On your sixth birthday, your mother gifted you with your first shrine maiden robe. Of red and gold, it hung loosely around your shoulders and tied around your waist with a golden sash. A set of golden threads looped into small snakes on each lapel of your robe connected with a red thread across your chest.

When you were dressed in it, you were eager to show Taehyung, but first wanted to learn a dance to properly show the robe off. It was your first ever maiden robe and you had been training in the shrine for as long as you could remember now.

Your mother who was growing older every year laughed as you would occasionally stumble over the long robe’s fabric as you attempted to learn the way it moved with you. That evening, Taehyung had come to the shrine to see you, having not heard a word from you all day.

When he arrived however, you were fast asleep on the marble floor, resting against the side of the fountain placed inside the shrine of the purest sea water. A pyramid of bells rolled out of your palm as you sat peacefully asleep in your new robe.

“Good evening, Young Prince,” your mother greeted, making Taehyung jolt. “I’m sorry if you’ve come to see Y/n. My daughter practiced too hard it seems and fell asleep the moment she sat to rest.” Taehyung looked and watched you sleep against the fountain.

Over the course of your training and aging, he had felt your spiritual power grow alongside the power he felt in himself. He still remembers the day you finally broke him of his shell when you told him how you would train to be the proud priestess your mother said you’d be one day.

He smiled as he walked to you, lifting your lulled head up and placing it on his shoulder as he sat next to you on the shrine floor. He looked up at your mother who was stuck between telling the prince to not sit on the floor and to just wake you up.

“Do you mind if I sit with her for a while?” He asked as she just smiled.

“Stay as long as you’d like,” she told him before retreating back to the castle. She later returned with the queen by her side when dinner came around and the two just stifled laughs at the young prince’s head resting on yours, you both fast asleep.

A year passed and Taehyung had finally grown his serpent scales and eyes that would stick with him the rest of his life. Golden scales grew under his eyes as the dark shade of them brightened to a gold you found hypnotizing. He had initially hid his face from the palace, unable to show his scales. It took a whole afternoon of you sitting in his room with him to convince him that it was okay and that his new scales didn’t make him scary.

Ever since his scales and eyes came in, he had been able to hear you sing from wherever you were. You could be in the depths of the shrine and he could be on the opposite side of the castle and he could hear your songs and feel your messages. He could tell when you were sad or happy or sick or in pain with each song he heard. Able to convey your emotions through your songs, he wondered why it was he couldn’t hear any other people.

When The monks chanted their mantras or the other maidens and priestess’ sung, he couldn’t hear them. Only your voice was heard in his ears.

He had often spoken to his father, the king, about it. The king was unsure as to the reason as well, but passed it off as a result of your spiritual power and your control over it. However, it wasn’t until one afternoon that Taehyung realized that he could not only hear your songs from anywhere, but he could find out where you were located if your situation grew dangerous or dire.

You were in the palace gardens studying flowers and leaves as part of your training on what plants or herbs to dry and place as offerings to the Serpent King’s spirit. Placing herbs and flower petals inside of a clay bowl, you had heard someone approach you. Turning around, you saw two men dressed in foreign clothes you hadn’t seen before.

“Hello,” you greeted weakly as you stood on shaking feet. Your clay bowl in hand as they just look at each other. “I’ve never seen you before in the castle, what are you doing here?” You had gotten braver each year and as a proud standing nine-year-old, you were determined to figure out if these were the king’s visitors or uninvited guests.

“Little girl,” one of them spoke as it made your skin prick. “You are a priestess?”

“Uh, yes,” you squeaked. The moment one of them moved to reach behind into a pouch they kept on their hip, you panicked. Throwing the bowl of herbs, you closed your fist, extended your two first fingers and chanted a small protective spell. The herbs that flew towards the intruders caught fire and gave you just enough time to turn and run into the maze of hedges to hide.

Taking so many turns in the maze you had no idea the layout of, you were soon tucking yourself away in a corner, trying to hide in the shrubs as much as possible. With each rustle of the plants and wind you grew more and more tense.

You suddenly remembered a certain song you were taught recently that was instructed by the king for you to learn. It was a song of calling when in danger. If ever there was a time to test it, now was that time. So, under your breath you whispered weakly the lines of hymns you were taught.

Taehyung was in the study with his father when the air shifted outside. Looking out the window, he stared out into the open gardens of trees, flowers and bushes. Even further, he could see the open sea of his island kingdom. He wondered why the air felt heavy so suddenly. He felt suffocated and stuffy as he pulled at the collar of his turtleneck shirt.

The king noticed his son’s discomfort. “What is it?”

“It just got really stuffy in here,” the prince replied, “that’s all.” Yet as he returned to his lessons, the uneasiness in his chest didn’t stop. For minutes it lasted until your name flashed into his head like a siren as his skin pricked before he was hearing you sing again.

Taehyung jumped from his chair, pushing it back with enough force to kick it back onto the floor, startling the king close to him. Taehyung’s golden snake-like eyes were wide as they looked out the window beyond the palace walls.

The king slowly stood, unable to determine his son’s sudden burst of haste. “Taehyung,” he tried, but the prince’s attention wasn’t drawn.

“Y/n,” he whispered. He walked around the fallen chair and to the window, placing his palms on the glass panes as he looked down into the gardens. Flashes of the shrub maze playing in his subconscious as he listened to your shaky, fearful song play in his mind. He saw the faces of two strangers, a bowl of clay, fire and then your back retreating into the maze before he started to panic. “Father,” he called in haste as he turned to the king behind him. “There are intruders in the garden and they’re after Y/n.”

The king was quick to act. Immediately dispatching guards to the gardens to catch the uninvited guests before they caught you. Taehyung couldn’t settle down, even with his father trying to convince him it would be okay and that help was coming to you. It didn’t help calm his blood that screamed to find you first.

His gaze stuck outside, your voice still echoing in his head, your song replaying over and over again as your fear pounded in the center of his chest. He didn’t even register himself ripping his arms out of his father’s grasp as he ran out of the castle and into the gardens to find you himself, knowing exactly where you were.

It was two hours later when the culprits of your attempted abduction were caught and imprisoned, followed by a party of castle guards finally locating your hiding spot. Only, they were shocked to see that Taehyung had been crouched in front of you, holding your head on his chest as you cried before eventually falling asleep.

It was hard to explain to his parents and your mother how he could hear your songs, and feel your emotions. It was even harder to explain how he was able to know exactly where you were and know what had happened as if he had been there himself. It was that very evening that the king had made a decision that would affect you both in the coming years.

“Y/n,” Taehyung had called as you were knelt in the shrine, hands clasped together before you lowered your arms and looked over your shoulder to your prince. You were ten-years-old now while Taehyung was nearly in his teenage years. You both were nearly the same height as you stood to come to his call.

You nearly felt your cheeks blush in the presence of your beloved prince. Ever since you were nine and nearly kidnapped from the castle gardens, Taehyung had become increasingly more protective over you. This in turn created a delusional crush you held for the royal heir. You had to be careful of your songs so that he wouldn’t catch on to your feelings each morning and evening when you sang songs of greeting and farewell to the sun and sea.

“Yes?” You waited as you came to stand in front of him. “Do you need something from me Taehyung? I thought you had archery this morning?” You tilted your head in curiosity as he quickly took your hand in his, something he started a year ago so that he could always feel you behind him. “Taehyung?”

“Father and mother have called us to the audience chamber.” Your mouth opened in question as your mother came up behind you. Taehyung was quick to greet her. “Good morning, Lady Lily.”

“A fine morning to you, young Prince.” Your mother soon placed her hand on your back, silently ushering you on. “You can finish your morning devotions after your audience with the king and queen. It is alright,” she smiled. She seemed to know something you didn’t, like she knew what the call of presence was for. Though, you couldn’t ask because of Taehyung quickly pulling you out of the shrine with him.

“Your morning hymn was lovely,” he told you as he entered the castle’s second floor, taking your hands and helping you up the staircase so you wouldn’t trip on your long gown.

“Do you think so?” You asked, wavering on how you sang this morning. “I had thought my sound wasn’t as clear as before.”

“You improve everyday. Perhaps if you feel it needs improvement, sip water from the shrine’s fountain. That will certainly cleanse your throat and replenish any diminished power,” he advised. Typically, one would not be allowed to access the sea water of the shrine’s fountain, however you were the exception to that rule.

You never knew why, but the day Taehyung offered you a small sip of the fountain’s sea water to ease your aching throat, you were permitted exclusive access to the sea’s blessed water. As, if you weren’t granted permission, that small sip of pure ocean water would have spread like poison and certainly taken your life.

As Taehyung led you to the audience chamber, you grew nervous. Just what could the monarchs of your Isle be calling you about? Were you not doing a good enough job as a training maiden? Were you lacking somehow? Or perhaps you were going to be told to stop hanging around Taehyung, the future king, as often because of his coming of age. The idea of being torn from Taehyung made your heart ache.

“Do not be nervous,” he told you, squeezing your hand. You swallowed the lump in your throat, only nodding before he knocked on the chamber door, announced himself and you, before walking inside with you in tow.

The queen and her husband sat in the two tallest, iron chairs behind the long, table in the large room. They watched you both enter hand in hand, just as they had seen you do before. As the heavy door shut behind your back, Taehyung led you to a chair across from his parents. Sitting you down first, he then takes his own seat beside you. His choice of opting to sit beside you instead of his parents confused you for a moment until he took your hand in his again beneath the iron table top.

“I apologize for interrupting your morning session, Y/n,” the queen softly called. Though aged from the first time you met her, she was still carrying herself with the same grace and beauty you had remembered all those years ago.

“It’s alright, Majesty. My mother is finishing up the offering with the monks and I can return to the shrine to finish my devotion before midday.” Your voice was rigid from you trying to keep your nervousness undetected. You felt Taehyung’s hand tighten in your grip as he ran his thumb over your knuckles. You had to strain to hear the royal family’s words over the sound of your heart in your ears.

“We won’t keep you long,” the king announced. He looked at you and then to his son before he closed his eyes. His hands came up to rest in front of his mouth, fingers interlaced as his elbows rested on the iron table. “Would you say you enjoy my son’s company, Y/n?” The king’s directness made you jolt. With the smallest pink tinted cheeks, you glanced at Taehyung, seeing him only looking at his father with inquisitive eyes.

“I would. I greatly enjoy the Prince’s company.” You answered with a smile that spread unconsciously to the set of royal parents in front of you when you directed your gaze back to the pair.

“As you know,” the queen started in place of her husband, “Taehyung is the heir to the Serpent King; however, as you may have noticed, our son has a special connection with you particularly.” You lifted your eyebrow at this. Since when had the prince and you had a special connection? In truth, Taehyung never told you that he could feel what you feel when you sing and can pinpoint your location as your voice carries to the sky like a beacon. His grip in your hand falters.

“Mother,” he warned. He didn’t want you to know in fear that you would find it invasive. What if you found out and you hated it and locked up your voice in retaliation? He thought his heart would shrivel up and die if you stopped singing.

“Our son is able to hear your songs from any location on the island, we believe that it’s due to not only your bond you’ve built over the years, but also your spiritual power.” You remained silent as you took in the information. You had known Taehyung could hear you, but from such a wide scope? That shocked you. “Taehyung and you share a special bond, that much we are certain, so my husband and I spoke with Lady Lily.”

Your back straightened as the mention of your mother. “You spoke with my mother? About what, might I ask?”

“It is our intent to have you both become engaged to marry.”

You felt your heart stop at the king’s declaration. Engaged to marry? You and Taehyung? Your heart began to speed up, doing somersaults in your chest as your grip on the prince’s hand slacked. You turned to look at the preteen prince.

“Me, marry the-,” you cut yourself off, unable to speak the words. Your young cheeks flushed hot when Taehyung turned to look at you, pulling your hand tighter against his under the table. Making up for the space you created when you pulled away. His golden eyes burned into yours as he then turned back to his father.

“I’m willing to go through with it,” the young prince announced, shocking you. “That is,” he turned his sights back to you, a soft smile on his face replacing his previous look, “if Y/n agrees as well.” The queen had to hide a smile behind the back of her hand as your face wouldn’t cool down. You looked down to the hand he held out of his parents’ sight before taking a breath.

It wouldn’t be selfish to want this- you look back up at him with hopeful eyes- right? Smiling back after a heartbeat or two, you turned to his parents and lowered your head.

“I’m honored by the royal families decision. If you’ll accept me, I agree to the arrangement as well.” A small talk about formalities and official announcements of the engagement later and you and Taehyung were dismissed back to your daily routine. However, everything felt shifted now.

As Taehyung led you back to the shrine, you stayed absolutely silent- something the prince noticed. You were always talking to him about something, but now you were speechless and it made him nervous. He wasn’t even holding your hand anymore, because the moment you both stood to leave the audience chamber, you had let him go.

“I’ll properly thank your mother when I see her next,” he told you suddenly in the empty hall he walked with you down. “Since I’m your fiance now, it’d be rude if I didn’t thank her for her permission to marry you.”

“Ah, right,” you made a small noise before acknowledging him. He stopped in the hall and sighed, turning to you.

“So, it is the engagement that’s making you so quiet.” You shrunk, not wanting to be a problem. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to agree to it, then-”

“No!” You screech, immediately covering your mouth. You cleared your throat, looking around to see if anyone had seen your outburst and gathered your thoughts. Your heart wouldn’t stop beating and your stomach felt fuzzy from the speed of it all. “It’s just happening so fast,” you breathed, “that’s all. Really, I don’t mind.”

“Are you positive?”

“Yes, I am.” It was an odd sensation when Taehyung pulled you into his chest to hug you. He had held you before. When you were lost in the maze, when you were sleepy during your lessons he attended with you out of curiosity, when you both hid from castle guards who were trying to coerce you both back inside. This time was different though.

“Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to change,” he assured you. As you lifted your arms to hug him back, you knew why it was so different and why any embrace from him would be different from now on.

Because every time from this point on, forever, would be an embrace shared between betroths.

You took a deep breath of the ocean air as the ship you were aboard grew closer to the docks of your beloved Isle. You were returning home after a trip to the mainland to familiarize further with their culture and step closer to establishing a lasting treaty. You weren’t exactly pleased forming relations with the world outside of your island home, but in the end it had to be done.

On a positive note, you were returning with all sorts of new herbs and dried meat, roots and fruits that Hissing Isle didn’t have. They would surely work well as offerings and if not, a fine snack for the castle.

“Lady Y/n!” Someone called as you turned to look for the call. A young man dressed in stained white and brown clothes and a bandanna around his waist had been the one calling. “The ship will dock in just a little while. Please prepare your things for departure. I’m sure the Prince is eagerly waiting for your return.” The man offered you a polite, if not playful, wink before he was scampering off.

A lot has happened since you had gotten engaged to the Serpent Prince twelve years ago. Your twenty-second birthday had just passed as you stood on the side of the ship, your bag of belongings and mainland offers on your back.

When you were twenty, you had surpassed your trainers and taken over the shrine as the Central Priestess. Your abilities to harness and use your spiritual powers in both offensive and defensive strategies still awed some. In fact, you planned to use your power to enforce a barrier around the island as soon as you could. Bringing back a sacred dokkosho from the mainland, you planned to use it- combined with your powers- to protect the island from malicious intruders.

However, years have not always been so kind to you. Among those years, you still wish your young mother was around to see you flourish into the priestess she had known you to be. She had fallen ill when you were eighteen and she did not last the year. You still remember how your heart broke as Taehyung shushed and held you for days upon days, as you could do nothing but cry and mourn. You could not even sing her farewell through your tears.

As the sea breeze blew through your hair and whipped at the long, loose sleeves of your dress, you smiled as the sight of your home growing closer. Your dress was off your shoulder, loose around your chest and tied with a brown sash around your waist as the skirt fell to your ankles. It was a simple dress and not at all what you would typically wear when fulfilling your role as isle priestess, but it was yours.

When the ship docked and your feet finally hit land again, you let out a breath of air. It had only been a month, but you felt like you had been away for far too long now. While you were gone, you had left the shrine in the hands of a monk who had come from the mainland years back. His skills were exceptional, but his playful attitude always left you a bit nervous.

“Lady Y/n!” The same man from before had called as you had stepped off port. You turned and quickly caught something he had tossed towards you. Looking, it was a ripe apple. “Come travel with us again soon,” he offered as you smiled at him.

“I’ll look forward to the next time then,” you bowed your head as you headed off. Heading through town, you were met with small smiles and children running to hold your hand and welcome you back home. In your small kingdom, you were well known as the main priestess and many would come to you for advice. Your position as Taehyung’s fiance added to the warmth of the island-folk.

However, not all were as kind as most.

A young girl hung off your arm as you humored her with your attention as a drunken man cut off your path. Your destination towards the castle temporarily halted. Typically, you would brush past him, however the young girl at your side only shrunk away at the sight of his disheveled appearance.

You knew this man, of course. He often gave you a rough time, unable to swallow his bit-swollen pride and accept orders from a woman who technically wasn’t of royal blood. Spending all his time and money in taverns, you were certain if you wounded him, booze would pour out of his body instead of blood.

“May I help you?” You sneered, tilting your chin and looking at him in a collected, calm warning.

“It’s a shame the mainland princes’ didn’t want to keep you over there,” he slurred. “Do us a lotta good if you stayed put on the other side of the sea.” You remained calm as you took a breath. You looked down to the young girl who clung to you. This man was not only well known to you, but to the rest of the castle town. He wasn’t exactly too well liked because of his attitude.

When he saw the little girl staring at his stubble, unshaven face, he sneered. “What are you looking at brat? Huh?!” The verbal attack to the youth was cut short when something was thrown at the drunkard’s head. Stumbling back in an over-dramatic fit of drunken balance, he looked at the ground. There lay a single, red apple.

“Even among a basket of perfect fruit, there always has to be one bad apple it seems.” Your arm was lifted, the only needed evidence the drunkard needed to know you had thrown the fruit at him. “I suggest you direct your disgust elsewhere and not towards the Isle’s youth. They will determine in the future to help or neglect you. You’d be wise to not mistreat them.”

“Why you stuck up-” the man had stomped towards you, harshly pushing you back as he grabbed the front of your dress into his fist. The child on your side was knocked away as she started to cry for the man to let you go as he just growled into your face. His breath was horrid, teeth yellow and skin tinged sickly.

“If you keep drinking, you’ll last no longer than the season,” you calmly told him even in the state you were being held in.

“My lady!” the little girl cried, as a crowd started to gather in a murmur. You knew better than to fight back, it was against your views to harm your people- even if they act so grotesque towards you. You would only tell yourself to grin and bear it.

There was a sudden hush over the crowd before they could even begin to act on freeing you from the no-good drunkard, and it was without surprise as to why. The man was grabbed by the back of his shirt collar as it was yanked back, the shirt riding up to his neck and thrusting him into cut-off, breathless panic.

His grip on your dress released immediately as he was yanked backward until he fell over his feet onto his back on the stone roads. His eyes were squeezed shut and were only opened when the one who had pulled him back and off you squats to come closer to his face. The man froze at the pair of golden eyes glaring down at him with brilliant matching scales under them.

“I do believe I’ve told you before that the next time you harass my priestess, I wouldn’t let it slide,” Taehyung sneered as the little girl had rushed back to your side, hugging you around the waist as you placed your hand on her shoulders. “Stay on the ground,” he demanded as the drunkard only nodded weakly as the prince stood back up and looked at you. Your dress was stretched and messed up around your chest now.

Yet, you smiled warmly to him nonetheless.

“Welcome home, Y/n,” he greeted as he came to your side. He smiled down to the child in front of you, petting her head. “How about I take her home from here?” He told the little girl as she ran off back to her home, leaving the crowd to disperse and the drunkard to be picked up off the road and taken back to the castle by a set of guards that were stationed in town. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him first thing after returning.”

“It’s nothing I couldn’t have handled,” you reassured, even if you had no intention of actually instigating a fight. “What brought you into town? Running errands?” He smiled as he shook his head.

“No. I felt your spiritual pressure when you landed. I simply couldn’t wait to see you after such a long time,” he told you. Your heart squeezed in your chest as he then began to lead you back to the castle. You asked about the shrine and how the offering and sessions were progressing. Taehyung was curious as to what the mainland was like and you offered to show him the goodies you brought back with you once you reached the castle.

All the while your heart pounded in your ears.

The crush you had on your prince only kept expanding in size with each passing day since you were announced engaged. You were sure if that had never happened, you would have grown out of it, however your love for him was deeper than the sea surrounded the island. You were absolutely sure, however, that Taehyung would never truly love you back.

He had always shown that you were his closest and deepest friend he had. Loving you as his first and best friend and close companion that helped him grow. However, you doubted he would ever be in love with you like you are with him, and the knowledge of your betrothal made such a bittersweet taste on your tongue.

You had often attempted to talk to him about the arrangement of your marriage. You wanted to give him the option now that he was a grown man and was able to understand what marrying you would mean. You wanted to give him the option to choose if he wanted you to become his wife for the rest of his life or not. And if he chose not to wed you, then you’d accept that, no matter how much it would break you.

You never had the strength to bring it up though. Too scared of letting him go, when he truly wasn’t fully yours. Unable to let go of the fantasy of marrying him, unable to let go of your selfishness.

You let out a sigh as Taehyung had entered the castle with you. He looked at you with furrowed brows and gold eyes.

“That is the fifth sigh since town. Are you unwell?”

“What?” you were unaware of your unconscious sighs until he had said something. “I’m fine. Just tired from the trip is all. I think I just need to rest a bit before I return to my shrine duties.”

“I’ll make sure to instruct Jungkook to keep watch over the shrine’s progression until tomorrow. Take a break until then. You’ve just returned from a long journey that I’m sure required a lot of strength. Do not push yourself.”

You nodded. Jungkook was the monk in-charge of the shrine when you are absent or unable to manage it for a number of reasons. He often watches it once a month when your body is in such pain that moving from your bed is a battle in itself.

He was a stubborn monk, but he was well versed in his craft you had to admit. He was different from the other monks you’ve grown up with. For instance, he refused to cut his hair like the others who had clean heads without hair at all. His long, brown locks curled around his ears and over his forehead, occasionally being tied back with a hair string for rituals.

“Yes,” you agreed, “that would be nice.”

You two had walked further into the castle when someone had rounded a further corner ahead and caught sight of you. Speak of the devil.

“Hey! Y/n!” Jungkook waved in his robes of black and purple, rushing towards you. He was a friendly monk, child-like and free spirited and never addressed you properly by title. You almost admire that about him. He came to a stop in front of you and Taehyung as the prince suddenly drew quiet without you noticing. “Welcome back home,” he grinned down at you, standing a head taller.

“Yes, it’s good to be back.” You smiled in greeting as you both conversed. Taehyung watched you both talk so openly and comfortably. You often spoke without formality when you were with Jungkook. With himself though- even if you had known him since he was six- you still held a sense of formality. He didn’t realize how much he missed your relaxed speech when you were young until he was watching you talk so comfortably with the long-haired monk.

“I hope you won’t mind keeping charge of the shrine until tomorrow. I have to wait a bit longer for my powers to return to normal. The mainland pressure is far different than the island, so adjustment takes time.”

“Leave it to me, it’s not so hard.” He shrugged smugly. You rolled your eyes as Jungkook soon looked passed you to Taehyung who had been standing in silence. He looked back down to you. “The lovely couple off somewhere?” His chide was met with you snatching the staff he had at his side from his grasp and whacking him with it. “Ow! What’s with the sudden aggression?” He whine sorely as he rubbed his back. You gently handed the staff back to him as if you had done no wrong.

“That’s your punishment for improper speech to the woman who is technically your superior,” you told him, but you both knew the real reason you whacked him. Jungkook was the sole person you’ve confided in about your feelings for the serpent prince. “Return to your shrine duties, I’ll be stopping by with new offerings later,” you told him as you started away.

“Yes, yes. As you wish, My Lady,” he submitted as he watched you leave, Taehyung silently trailing behind you.

It was silent again as Taehyung and you continued on your way to the throne room to greet the royal family and tell them of your return. They must already know you had come back since Taehyung had shown up so quickly as you landed, but it was still a requirement of the shrine’s center priestess to announce her departure and arrival.

“You and that monk seem to get along well,” Taehyung spoke, bitterly refusing to use Jungkook's name.

“Yes, well, he is two years younger than me. It’s easy to speak naturally to him when he’s only just turned twenty.”

The conversation was short lived as Taehyung didn’t speak after that and you didn’t either. The silence was almost comfortable and before long, you were entering the throne room with Taehyung just as you had a million other times before now.

As you grew closer, the queen sat higher in her chair. Her hair had faded to a shade of silver from age as the king’s black hair had begun to follow. “Ah, young Lady Y/n, I’m glad you’ve made it back safely. Did you enjoy your visit to the mainland?”

“Not as much as I enjoy the feeling of being home, Majesty.”

“Of course,” she mused. “I’m glad you have returned. My husband and I would like to speak to you and Taehyung if you have a moment.” You looked at the man beside you as he looked at his parents with an indifferent gaze like something was weighing on his mind.

“The wedding is next week?!” Jungkook screeched. You had just returned to the shrine from the castle in which the royal family had decided that you and Taehyung would be married by next week's end. “It’s so sudden,” the monk stated in a much milder tone.

“Not really,” you told him as you removed the wrapped herbs and roots from your bag. “I’ve been engaged to him since I was young. It was bound to happen one day.” You kept replaying the conversation from earlier in your mind. Just as it had been in the past, the moment his parents decided it, he just nodded and went along with their plans.

The same feeling in your gut wrenched and twisted like a dying tree root. Was he just going along with his parent’s decision because he admired them so much? Was he just doing this for the sake of his people because you were the Isle’s priestess? Or, was he doing this because it was something decided so long ago and he felt like he had no way out now?

As you set your items along the marble alter inside the shrine Jungkook watched you with soft, dewy eyes. He knew how much your heart loved the prince and how much you kept breaking your own heart over and over again. You never let yourself have the satisfaction of being with Taehyung all because you wouldn’t let yourself believe Taehyung would ever love you.

“Y/n,” he gently called. “Why don’t you just talk to him? I’m sure if you told him how you felt, then-”

“There would be no point in that,” you interrupted. “If I told him how I felt, and he didn’t return those feelings, then the whole relationship we’ve built up our entire lives would be ruined. At least if we get married as childhood friends, I can keep a piece of my happiness when I wear a ring around my finger.”

“But, if you just-”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off again. “Please, just drop it. I’ve made up my mind, you can’t change it.” The monk yielded as he just sighed and moved to stand beside you. Looping his arm over your shoulders, he pulled you in for a side hug.

“Just don’t get hurt,” he whispered.

Three days later, a ball would be held in an advanced celebration for the prince’s wedding. The event is grand, even invitations sent to the mainland were met with positive notes and promises to attend. You grew more and more anxious as the ball grew closer, specifically because you were going to be in charge of the first song of the evening.

A part of you thought it unfair. You were in charge of singing the first song for the guests in attendance. Meaning you wouldn’t be able to participate in the first dance and even more sour tasting is that Taehyung had the option to dance with whomever he chose. It was your engagement ball too, but there was no way around it- since it was the priestess’s duty to sing after all.

Jungkook offered to take your position and perform a hymn in your stead, but you simply told him not to worry about it. He wouldn’t be attending the ball- even if he was invited- simply because he had to watch the shrine while you would be preoccupied for the day.

Everyday prior to the ball you were cooped up in vocal training and hymn precision so as to not ruin the first dance. The morning of the ball, you only practiced once and then saved your voice for the evening of the event.

The castle was bustling with servants and guards running to and fro, along with the steady flow of mainland guests arriving in the town’s port. You sat somewhere in the twists and turns of the hedge maze as you tried to steady your heart. The wind blew softly, like a blanket of comfort before you were opening your eyes to see the prince in front of you.

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said calmly in the wind.

“Everything’s so busy, I guess I just wanted to escape the chaos for as long as possible,” you shrugged as he came closer to you. You slid down the bench you sat on as he moved to sit beside you. It was silent for a time before he spoke up again.

“Do you remember the first time you came into this maze?” You looked at him. “You were confronted by criminals who had sneaked into the castle grounds with the intent to kidnap you. You ran into this maze, crouched into a ball and sang. I still remember that day so vividly.”

You looked away from him as you turned your sights to your lap. Dressed in your common gown, your hands were folded on your legs.

“Yes, I remember. You came to save me that day. I remember I was so scared, then you came running around the corner and I just started crying.” You laughed bitterly at the memory. “Next thing I knew, I was waking up the next morning in my bed like always.” You paused, contemplating on if you should speak more or let the silence envelope you both. “I guess you were always saving me, even all the way back then.”

Taehyung watched you as you kept an eye on your lap, fiddling with your hands in the warm breeze of spring. Your hair dancing in small wisps, almost hypnotizing him.

“Mother told me you’re performing the song for the first dance this evening,” he opened in a new conversation. “Which hymn have you chosen?” He asked.

“You don’t already know?” You looked at him. His gold scales reflecting off the sunlight. “I thought you always listened to my songs,” you teased with a lopsided smile. He returned the gesture back to you.

“I’ve been trying not to listen to your songs the past few days, as to not ruin the surprise.”

“Then, I guess you have no reason to know what I’ll be singing.” You both sat comfortably for a while and you even started thinking about actually unloading your heart to him. Jungkook’s constant push to tell Taehyung how you felt nagging at your mind as you sat with him so calmly in the garden. Now would be the perfect time, but it seemed you spent too much time thinking it over, you overran your chance.

“Lady Y/n!” You sighed as you heard someone call for you from afar. Taehyung straightened his back, narrowing his eyes to the distant voice who had disturbed the peaceful atmosphere. He looked to you when you suddenly stood and called back to them.

“I’m here!” You shouted as you stood and looked down to Taehyung. You smiled at him, but his eyes widened when he saw a small touch of sadness on your lips. “I look forward to seeing who you’ll choose to partner with during the first dance tonight.”

“Wait-” he reached out to you as he had begun to stand from the bench but you had already moved away from him. Disappearing behind the shrubs and out of his sight before he heard you conversing with a servant who was probably going to rush you off into preparations for the ball. He listened to your voice grow distant as he looked at the open palm of his, not able to remember the last time he held your hand. In that moment, the spring air felt colder to him in the sunlit maze.

You’ve never dreaded putting on a formal gown more than now, knowing that you’d be wearing it to your engagement ball. The dress itself was beautiful. White lace surrounded the breast and around your waist to wrap around your entire torso before the lace ended at your hips to let the red skirt fall to the floor where more white lace hemmed the end of the skirt. Your arms were covered in open fingered gloves that extended just past the elbow as the dress had to straps and rested on your chest.

Your hair was partially pulled back, the fronts of your locks pulled back behind your head and pinned into a knot with a white ribbon as the rest lay on your shoulders. A servant had come into the room as a lace was being wrapped around your neck when another necklace was presented. A small, red gem in the shape of a teardrop- apparently a gift from Taehyung for you to wear. You wore it along with the lace choker. You could already feel the beginning of an ache in your feet from the heels that encased your ankle and enclosed your toes.

You stood outside the ballroom entrance door, trying to gather your breath. You would typically enter the ballroom with your guest, but Taehyung would be appearing later on with his father and mother- fashionably late as royalty demanded.

The moment you entered the ballroom, all eyes were on you along with a small murmur followed by an applause at the arrival of the lady of the hour. You just waved them calm before you took to mingling like a proper lady should. Speaking and greeting the visitors who took the time to come to your island home, you couldn't get your throat to unclog.

The anxiousness of singing, the dread of possible mistakes, the sorrow of not being able to dance with the rest of the ladies during the first dance and the ugly jealousy of whoever would be lucky enough to dance with Taehyung first. All of it stuck in your throat like a toad.

You jump when you feel a hand rest on the small of your back, getting your attention. You whirl around, ready to scold who dared to touch you so familiarly, but stopped short when you look up to Taehyung’s snake eyes.

“Prince,” you muttered. His hand that was on your back moved to rest on your waist in your hasty turn. He was dressed in a golden vest that matched his hair and compliments his eyes and scales. His white dress shirt beneath his vest was wrinkle-free and his trousers hung off his waist in perfection as the toes of his boots reflected the ballroom’s light. A royal blazer with embroidered shoulders and decorated lapels. His hair was brushed and parted, as soft looking as ever. You noticed a golden teardrop necklace with the chain tucked under his dress shirt’s collar as the gem rested on his chest.

“You look beautiful, Y/n,” he compliments. Your face is the same shade of your dress as you fiddled with your skirt. You took a breath and looked up to him with a smile.

“You look as handsome as always,” you told him, sincerity dripping off your tongue. You lifted your hand to toy with the necklace that was given to you. “Thank you for this,” you said. He in turn touched his own golden gem that was nearly identical to yours. You looked around, not seeing the king or queen in the ballroom yet. “Where are your parents?” You asked him as he just chuckled.

“I came early. I wanted to see you before the event started.”

“Oh,” was your instant reply to the soft smile on his face. You cleared your throat as you gathered your thoughts and changed the topic. “So, have you decided on someone to dance with while I sing?” You ask as cheerfully as you could muster. Your resolve faltered at the look the prince gave you without speaking. Maybe he hadn’t been asked yet?

“I won’t be participating in the first dance,” he declared with a slightly dipped brow. “Why would I, knowing that my fiance wouldn’t be my partner?” He grabbed your hand. “I will dance and mingle through the night just as I’m expected to, but if you cannot dance in the event’s opening, then neither will I.”

Your face grew rosy. His words were heavy on your heart and squeezed your chest like you were drowning. Would he ever be aware of just how much his words mean to you? Would he realize one day that everything he tells you and every praise he sings made you want to crumble under the weight of your unspoken, suffocating feelings?

Eventually, the elder royal couple of Serpent Castle had made their appearance and your presence was requested at the back of the room in preparation. As you spoke with the instrumentalists who would replace your voice through the remainder of the night after your song, you instructed them to stay silent and keep their instruments hushed until you were finished.

As the opening was announced, partners were grabbed, the floor was scattered with pairs and Taehyung stood behind you, his hands tucked informally into the pockets of his trousers as he watched your back. Then, you sang.

The hymn was something Taehyung hadn’t heard before. He had heard you sing up close before, often coming by the shrine at early morning or late evenings just to hear it clearly rather than through his serpent’s blood. He did not recognize this hymn, yet it resonated so clearly with his serpent counterpart as his blood felt like it was getting warmer behind his skin. It raised goosebumps on his skin under his clothes and made the hair on the back of his neck stand.

Whatever this new hymn was, it was immediately his favorite. The flutters it put in his chest made him remove his hand from his pocket just to push his palm against his breast. He felt his heart pound under his palm as he just stared at your back with wide eyes of awe.

When the hymn was over and the first dance of the evening concluded, there was a round of applause for your unparalleled performance and then the instrumentalists finally took over.

You felt a weight off your chest as you sighed in relief. You had performed well in your opinion. Not missing your notes or beat, but then again it would be harder to do an official hymn rather than the one you sung.

“Y/n,” you heard Taehyung call behind you. Turning, you saw his eyes shining brighter than usual- perhaps it was the ballrooms light gleaming in them. “That hymn, I hadn’t heard that before.”

“Oh, well it’s because I composed that hymn myself.” You opened your hand and started counting on your fingers. “I suppose it was a few weeks ago, but I have begun writing my own hymns- just to see if perhaps they would be as effective as those written in our books.” You lowered your hand back to your side. “I hope it wasn’t distasteful to you,”

“It was magnificent,” he breathed in truth. “I hope you sing it often so I may hear it.”

“I-,” you stuttered at the compliments, “of course. If that’s what you wish, then it shall be my Prince.”

Taehyung quickly reached for and took your hand, holding it tightly as he pulled you beside him. “Come,” he told you. Leading you out among the peoples in the rooms as they danced to the tunes played by the men who plucked strings and blew into flutes. “Be my first dance,” he smiled. “It may not be the first, but it shall be our first dance.”

Taehyung’s hand re-positioned in yours as his other rested on your waist as you gripped his shoulder and your feet were soon slotted beside each other. Your chest brushing against his as the next song had begun and your feet moved with the harp and flutes tune.

Taehyung spoke as you danced, speaking of the upcoming wedding and it’s preparations. The set up and guest attendance will be filled with all the people in the ballroom currently, leading to him telling you that they would all be staying on the island until the wedding had concluded. The ceremony was hopefully going to be quick and not a drawn out afternoon, as you got choked up just thinking about it.

Of course, the toughest part of it all would be vows.

Your vows specifically. You briefly wondered if in your vows that fateful day of union, you would admit to him finally that you had loved him for such a long time. Or, should you keep your secret locked up in your heart forever as to not ruin what could be a happy enough marriage. You shook your head, it was clearly Jungkook’s insistent pushing to make you confess getting to you. You had already made your mind up, you couldn’t change it now.

The song of harp and whistles ended and you almost immediately drew yourself away from your husband-to-be. Before he could reach out and stop you from retreating he was flocked with all sorts of visitors. Women asking to dance- to which he cannot refuse- and men wishing to converse of trade and business with him. He watched over a sea of heads as you ran off until he couldn’t see you anymore.

You had retreated to a wall hidden by a table with glass flutes of a sweet alcohol. Typically, you avoided the beverages, but just this once you decided to indulge just a little. It was a white wine, clear as crystal but not as delightful to drink as the fountain's shrine water.

“Good evening, My Lady,” a man addressed from beside you. You were unaware of his approach and his opening startled you. Turning, you saw a man who was undoubtedly from somewhere far inland you imagined. “I am Duke Lethan. I watch over a small country stead far from the coast of the mainland. I must say, your song earlier was beautiful.”

His flattery felt nothing like Taehyung’s words. His cheap words did not make your heart flutter or your stomach toss. Though, he was being kind and so as to not ruin the merry mood of the ball, you humored him- as much as you wanted to be left alone.��

“Thank you very much, kind Duke.” You spent a small amount of energy carrying general conversation with the duke of the mainland as you kept your guard up. You never did trust the men from off the island, your recent visit abroad having one too many encounters with rude, entitled ones.

You smiled when you were cued to smile, and you laughed at his small attempts at humble humor, but you just wished for the conversation to end and him to be on his way. Instead, he began to persist in the idea of a dance with you.

Trying to politely decline the offer, he tried convincing you- obviously not taking no for an answer. Ready to put your foot down, merrymaking be damned, you felt that familiar hand on your back before it slid around to encase your waist and rest just above your white laced stomach. It was no surprise- or perhaps it was- to see Taehyung at your side as he held you to his chest.

“I do believe she’s already refused a dance. Go find a different partner if you would, Duke Lethan.” Not in a position of authority to begin to argue, the duke just lowered his head and went on his way into the crowd to find some other poor woman to give in to his pressure. “Y/n,” he called as you looked up at him from where you were once watching the duke retreat. “Dance with me again just once more.”

He had been watching you as soon as he could locate you after you left him after your dance. When that duke approached you and started making you smile, something in his chest lurched. He felt irked just knowing you were conversing so happily with a stranger and not with him. He was distracted as he danced with a lady from the mainland and he quickly left her abandoned mid-song at the look of distress on your face when the duke wouldn’t depart from your presence.

However, he would never disclose that to you. He didn’t even understand how he felt, all he knew was that he felt better when you were beside him like this.

“I’d be honored to dance with you again, my Prince,” you agreed with a smile up at him and the pain in his chest soothed instantly. You chalked it up to your imagination, but it felt like during this dance Taehyung held you tighter than before.

As the evening finally started dwelling down, guests started dismissing themselves back to their temporary rooms in the castle or back into town where their room in a local Inn was waiting for them. You were standing outside the ballroom, fiddling with your necklace. Exhausted from the evening of non-stop mingling and dancing.

Taehyung had pulled you away from a handful of men who seemed a bit ‘too interested in his fiance’, he claimed. You danced with him each time he did so.

“Y/n,” Taehyung called behind you. You startled, not expecting to be found in your little nook away from the dwindling down madness. He came to stand beside you, his golden eyes and scales seemed to grow faintly in the dimly lit halls of his castle. “Are you well?”

You felt a lot of things tonight. The burning eyes of mainland damsels on your back when you danced with the prince they knew they couldn’t even begin to woo because he simply didn’t give them the time. The watching eyes of older couples of tradition who thought it unjust for a simple priestess to marry into royalty. The sly eyes of men who wanted to dance to you and maybe catch a grip of something more- not that you’d allow that. And the squeezing of your heart whenever Taehyung held you and danced.

You sighed, making Taehyung take a step closer as he raised his arm to rest on your bicep, stroking it in comfort.

“I just,” you cut yourself off with closed eyes and a breath. “I’m just overwhelming myself and thinking about something.”

Taehyung moved to stand closer, grabbing your arm and hooking it around and under his own as his hip was next to you. He smiled down at you as he started walking forward, pulling you with him lightly.

“We’ll take a walk outside. Fresh air will help,” he told you in promise. Maybe the moonlight would shed away your worries- you could only hope. You were hardly aware of where Taehyung was leading you as you were so lost in your head. The fact that the man beside you was going to marry you in just a matter of days spiraled in your head like a hurricane. As did the doubt of if he even wanted to.

When you finally noticed you had been walking with him in silence for a while, you clocked back into reality and realized he had taken you back to the garden maze. This same maze is where you first truly realized you were in love with Taehyung and would be for the rest of your life- even if you were so young back then.

When you were in danger, and you sang- it was him who came running. It was him who found you in the maze and it was him who held you as you cried yourself into unconsciousness.

It was also this maze where you both sat just hours before that same day, talking in the sunlight that felt so comfortable. The spot where you realized you were going to marry your childhood playmate. Your one and only love interest and also your kingdom’s precious prince who was filled with serpent blood. It was this Taehyung who would be your husband and your feet stopped.

You halted in his step as your arm slipped from around his where it rested and he jerked when he felt it fall and slip away from him. He stood in front of you, half turned back to see your arm fall back to your side and your chin dipped.

The way the moon cast a shadow over your body should have been a romanticized look of an ethereal priestess, but the way you stood and avoided eye contact only made it grim. The prince felt his stomach twist as he straightened his back as you lifted your head to look directly at him for the first true time tonight.

His golden eyes widened a fraction at yours, seeing something in them waver and shake. It pinned his feet in place. Stood frozen in a half turned state, facing you as your fists balls behind the skirt of your dress, wrinkling the palm of your gloves.

“Be honest with me, Taehyung,” you called, foregoing his title and addressing him by name. It made his hair stand. “Are you going to be happy marrying me?” The prince parted his lips as he looked at you incredulously. Did you not want to marry him? Was that it? Was that what was weighing so heavily on your mind?

Ever since he could remember, ever since he got engaged to you so long ago in youth, he had known this day would come. He knew a celebration would come and a wedding would soon follow. He knew you were going to become his wife and a princess along with your priestess role. He had always known, and he had always been impatient waiting for all those moments to come. Now, they had and he was so caught up in himself and his own feelings- had he been wrong to think maybe you’d want to marry him too?

“Do you regret agreeing to marry me, perhaps?” He asked in answer to your question, still not giving you a proper answer. Your fisted hands uncurled just enough to ensnare your skirt’s cloth as you squeezed them shut once again.

“That isn’t it,” you harshly breathed. Denying so strongly that, that isn’t how you felt. “I’m- gods, I’m overjoyed that I get this chance. I am- just,” you took a calming breath. “I want to know if you’re doing this because you want to, or because your parents told you to.” You felt guilty, playing the card of his parents. He hadn’t often gone against their wishes because they were mostly reasonable people. You feared this engagement was just another order to him.

“You mean,” he stuttered, finally turning fully around to face you. Still not daring to step closer yet in fear you’d turn and run from the tense air. “You don’t know?” You flinched under his words, thinking for a split moment he was reaffirming that this was because his parents thought it was for the best. “I never knew you thought I didn’t want this marriage to happen. I’ve always been under the impression we agreed to this because we both wanted it.”

You looked at him with a twisted brow. What? What does that mean? Before you could ask him, a tear slid down his cheek. Falling over his golden scales from his equally as gold eyes. You gasped, stepping closer to him and the moment your hand caressed his cheek and your thumb touched under his eyes, he felt like he could breathe again.

“Why are you crying, my Prince? Don’t cry, please,” you pleaded. “I apologize, I should have kept it to myself,” you tried to fix the situation, but the hiccup that leapt from his throat at your words only seemed to worsen it all.

“Tell me,” he choked as he sniffed and you watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. “How do you feel about me as a husband?”

“I-,” you hesitated. You could lie, tell him a fib to appease him. Though, if you did- you’d just be biting into your very own poison apple. You wouldn’t lie anymore. “I love you, and I do want to marry you. I have ever since we were little because I’ve always loved you, Taehyung.” The word vomit spilled out in quick sentences, thinking that the speed of the words would hurt less coming out.

The prince crumbled, his knees weakening as he grabbed your hands and pushed them further against his face. His palm covering the back of your hand as his crying grew louder. You panicked.

Taehyung fell to his perfectly ironed knees as he kept your hands on his face, weeping. You panicked above him as he reeled into his mind- coming to such sudden realizations. You had been the only constant in his life aside form his very own family. You were always beside him, helping him and learning with him. You helped him when you were little and you were helping him even now.

Since when did you really grow up? When did he fall in love with you?

He was so ignorant of his feelings, he had pushed them off as- he didn’t even know what. Perhaps, he’s always known- but was too cowardly to admit it to himself and confront that love. All while he sat in his ignorance, you were withering in your admission and acceptance to how you felt. For so long, you had been growing more tired and the ache in your chest just kept growing because of him.

He cracked his eyes open from their squeezed state when he felt your hand move under his to wipe his tears. Your figure was blurry, blending in with the moonlight in the maze when he snatched your wrist and yanked you towards him.

He sighed when you fell down against his chest. His breath stuttered with his exhale as he started to finally calm down.

“I promise to take better care of it,” he started in a stiff, nasally tone. “So, please, give your heart to me and I’ll give you mine in return.” When you stiffened in his hold, he tightened his arms around you, burying his face into your neck where you could feel the chill of his tears on your skin. “I love so much about you, I can’t think of where to begin. Let me be selfish one more time when I ask you to never stop loving me. Because, I don’t think I can stop loving you either.”

You’re not sure when your tears started falling, but there they were. Trailing down your cheeks and dripping off your chin as you rested against the prince’s shoulder. You just nodded, not trusting your voice.

The two of you sat, kneeling in the middle of this garden maze crying for what seemed like an eternity before you both finally were able to talk to each other without tears or hiccups. At the end of the night, Taehyung felt it far too difficult to let go of your hand when he walked you back to your room.

“Mother,” Taehyung rushed into his parents’ room where the queen was sat at the balcony window, a cup of tea in her hands raised to her lips. “Have you seen Y/n, this morning?”

“My, you seem to be in a hurry. Did something happen?” His mother’s question made the prince’s cheeks bloom before she was setting her cup down on it’s saucer before replacing it on the windowsill. “Did you finally admit that you loved the girl?” She chuckled as Taehyung’s chip dropped and his mouth opened.

“You knew?” He asked, astonished.

“Call it a mother’s instinct, darling.” She teased. “Plus,” she chuckled at the state of her son, “your shirt is half tucked in and your cloak isn’t properly clipped.” She rose from her chair and strode to her son’s front, properly latching the golden string across his chest to let the royal violet cloak rest on his shoulders like it should. “Must have been in a rush to see her, huh?”

“I suppose so,” he smiled down at the top of his mother’s head. “I’ve been putting her through so much during our years of engagement, I don’t want to be away from her when I don’t need to be.”

“That’s a big admission from the Serpent Prince, isn’t it,” she jokes as Taehyung smiled wider and shook his head. He knew she didn’t just see him as the ‘serpent prince’, and neither did his father. It was just a long running tease from when he confronted them about his ‘destiny’ when he was a kid- birthed from your young, innocent advice. His smile softened, another realization that opened in his mind of you. “Y/n was called for an early singular devotion. The waves were rough, so she set out to pray in the fountain at dawn.”

Taehyung stepped away from the queen, thanking her before kissing her cheek and rushing off. She just chuckled as she readied a story to tell the king when he came out of his morning shower.

The shrine was deathly quiet as he walked through the doors as quietly as possible. For single devotions, it was required for the center priestess or priest at the time of management to be alone in the shrine for prayers. It would heighten concentration of spiritual power.

As soon as he entered, he could feel your power flowing through the shrine's interior like ribbons. He was one of a small circle of people who could enter the shrine anytime without reason no matter the devotion or time- a perk of being the descent of the island god. He walked through to the center fountain and just as he figured, there you were.

Your back was to him as you were knelt in the fountain water. Your hands were clasped in front of you as your head was dipped, eyes shut and lost in your conscience. He leaned against a pillar, silent as he watched you. It was absolutely silent as you prayed, but he could stand there and watch you do nothing all day and be content.

He pushed off the pillar when you shivered and then gasped with a jolt. Losing your sense of balance, you teetered to the side, splashing your hand into the fountain to stop yourself from falling in completely. The water splashed up into your face and clung to your already soaked, white prayer robe.

He stopped mid step when you turned to look over your shoulder, seeing him there. He felt like he had just got caught in a crime, though he was technically not breaking any rules. He saw you exhale a breath, your rigid back deflating into a terrible sense of posture.

“It was just you, my Prince,” you breathed. You sat back up, moving to stand from your kneeling in the water as you turned to walk out of the fountain. Taehyung rushed to the fountain’s wall, offering you his hand as you took it and watched your feet as you stepped out.

Water followed you in a small wave when you hopped over the fountain wall and the shrine’s marble floor became wet as your robe dripped more water along it. Your robe was nearly translucent.

Taehyung could see the pink of your thighs and stomach all the way up to your ribs and around your back and bum. It was proper attire to only wear a single white robe and nothing more when in singular devotion- a reason as to why it had to be cleared of all others in the shrine was to keep the body of the priest or priestess hidden from other’s eyes.

He quickly unclipped his royal robe from it’s golden string and slung it off and around his shoulders to quickly wrap it around your wet body instead. You greatly accepted the cover, hiding your body and what could be seen behind it’s thick, warm fabric.

“What brings you here this morning?” You ask up to him, drops of water falling from strands of your hair. Taehyung smiled at you, lifting those wet strands and putting them over your shoulder before he leaned to quickly kiss you. When he stood up, you just covered your lips with your fingertips and a flushed face.

“I wanted to see you as soon as possible, that’s all.” He gently led you to sit on the fountain wall as he sat beside you and before you could call him cheeky, you both were conversing like before. Or, perhaps it was easier than before- talking to each other. “We’re getting married soon,” he happily reminded you as if you didn’t already start counting the days.

“I’m very aware,” you humor him as you pull the cloak further around your shoulders. Taehyung placed his head on your shoulder and days later, when the wedding was held he was anxious all day.

Unable to see you until the ceremony, he was restless while you were being groomed up and down, while Jungkook stood back and laughed, watching it all happen. The prince was able to breathe again when you stood beside him as vows were spoken and promises made with them.

You walked out of the shrine a married woman that afternoon. That evening, you slept beside your husband and you woke up, not only a priestess, but a princess too.

- END -

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givemeonebreath · 3 years

Text

A big, messy Linked Universe playlist

Link for Links

Heavy on the angst, because of who I am as a person. (At the same time, don’t take it too seriously, man.)

Influenced by canon, manga (TP Link is really Going Through It™ ), my personal perceptions, and popular fandom canon.

A pretty wide variety of genres, with a bias towards metal and prog rock.

I kept snippets of lyrics for most songs, also because of who I am as a person. (Some were particularly hard to narrow down to just one verse or chorus.) Those - and a little more rambling - are under the cut if you really want, in the order of the playlist. But. It’s long.

I didn’t initially make this with the intent to share, but hey. Throughout my past year+ of listening, I’ve been haphazardly adding songs to a playlist I very creatively named Links. If something reminded me of them, whether through the music or lyrics or both, I threw it on the playlist, so some songs might seem odd or vague. Some are really on the nose, as subtle as a sledgehammer. (Sky for Sky? Dude. Sorry.) Some are there because of a fitting line or two that stuck in my head. Ultimately, music - like any form of creative expression - can be interpreted in a multitude of ways.

My listening habits and tastes are erratic, which is why this is one big, jumbled playlist and not separated for different Links. Not to mention if I did that, some (Wild, Legend) would have a lot and some (Wind, Four) would have none, both because of my own familiarity with them, and because of the general themes of the music I tend to listen to. Most songs are a general ‘hero’s spirit reborn’ mood, anyway - those are the first part of the playlist. The second half is more nuanced to specific Links, plus a few Ganon vibes.

1. Deep Purple - April (Koji Kondo, composer of the original Legend of Zelda theme, was into Deep Purple as a kid, and it shows.)

2. Kamelot - Regalis Apertura

3. Au4 - So Just Hang On, Beautiful One (I’ve posted this here before. I can’t hear it without thinking of LU now.) So I slipped in through the gate almost unknown. All my border stamps were late. Seven days old. Cold hand griped my shoulder blade, broke the bone. Bloody nose and turned away, all the way home.

4. FC Kahuna - Hayling Don’t think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here

5. Glass Animals - Youth Boy, when I left you you were young I was gone, but not my love You were clearly meant for more Than a life lost in the war

6. Pain of Salvation - Restless Boy A restless boy in a world too slow A flame born into cinder, ash, and glow I've given everything I gave it all Yet find myself alone

7. Haken - The Endless Knot Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line our cycle starts to fail. Our design shifted frame by frame! Across the line we die to live again. We need a story to believe in. We need a hero to prevail. We need a challenge we can overcome, it takes a tragedy to make us one

8. Kamelot - Memento Mori (I particularly associate this with Time and Twilight) I am the god in my own history The master of the game I may believe if she would come to me And whisper out my name Sometimes I wonder where the wind has gone If life has ever been Sometimes I wonder how belief alone Can cut me free from sin

9. Katatonia - Fighters Look I told you so We never stop If we said that We'll back it up For sure You know We're fighters

10. Megadeth - This Day We Fight! (I mean, all Links, but particularly Warriors) For this I was chosen, because I fear nothing With confidence I tread through the dead of the night Off to another war-torn, faraway battlefield Wherein lies a demonic enemy horde

11. Moon Tooth - Igneous Well, the spirit took me And this old broken body leapt up and danced Settin’ out Settin' out with all my heroes in a bundle at my back Hawk am I More wings span in my shadow than overcast Yeah, you know what they say Always need something to look up to, ha

12. Samael - Moongate Destiny, tomorrow is today Destiny, without boundaries How many nights will we spend together traveling infinity back and forth and again How many times will we go together questioning eternity about us about our wonders...

13. TOOL- Parabola This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion

14. Lunatic Soul - Blood on the Tightrope No matter how hard you try To shut down your feverish thoughts They hunt you down with no regret Cause you have to fix it all

15. Hybrid - Keep It In The Family

16. Soul Savers - Unbalanced Pieces Gone, now carry on Through violent seasons I call you mother, mother, mother In vain, absent chain The twilight's bleeding And the playing board has two unbalanced pieces

17. Steve Von Till - Valley of the Moon All she gives is a stone facade Like ill-given flowers at a dead man's wake Here we slave for the dreams of another And fight over scraps like wayward dogs

18. Ludovico Einaudi - Experience

19. Lunatic Soul - Summoning Dance Three stones on the right side Three stones on the left My vicious circle of life and death “Oh you want it” I hear it again “Oh you want it” My burden Curse to break

20. Lunatic Soul - Through Shaded Woods Run through your shaded woods Run through your shaded mind Run through the night Run away Run through the darkness Run

21. Lunatic Soul - Naavie

22. David Bowie - Nature Boy There was a boy A very strange, enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far, over land and sea A little shy and sad of eye But very wise was he

23. The Dandy Warhols - Sleep Well, I could sleep forever But it's of her I dream If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything

24. Au4 - Everyone is Everyone (and Everything is Everything) Tripping and tumbling, Flipping and fumbling. Flowing on the rivers of sadness That have been forever rumbling. But from dawn until now Of all the paths that I could have gone down Of all the valleys That I could have been flowing through. In spite of all the chaos And all that has come between us, How is it I still find myself Here with you.

25. Kingcrow - Everything Goes Your hands again upon the ground Falling rain for hours and hours As you learn the game Time dispels the fog ... Ever been there? Ever felt like prey? Ever thought your mind was feeble? Lot of things that don’t make sense

26. Pain of Salvation - Icon As a child I felt too old And now when I'm grown-up I feel too young A different kind so I've been told Just slightly out of reach and out of time

27. Sophia Loizou - Divine Interference (I got spooky dungeon vibes. Also, the title.)

28. Carpenter Brut - Fab Tool Runnin Gunnin Forward in the phantom shatter so grand Splatter grand, arcanum fuel Wrought iron out of the sky Over me, tells no lie

29. Blue Stahli - Death Will Have to Run All on the open road Where none will ever grow A journey toward the known With countless miles to go

30. Gyroscope - Mistakes & Ladders I am the first? No I can't be the first A continuous nothing, destined for something Tell me who you are and why you trapped me here

31. Queens of the Stone Age - Run, Pig, Run Run, pig, run Here I come

32. Chali 2na & Krafty Kuts - Guard The Fort The swords are drawn and odds are stacked And we clash the impact's a thunderous clap Calm demeanor Even though we are under attack [...my turn to guard the fort ready for combat]

33. The Great Discord - Army of Me (lol)

34. Kongos - Terrified I think I'll start again and change my name You only live once or twice, what a shame Somebody fucked up when designing this game

35. Woodkid - Run Boy Run Run, boy, run! This ride is a journey to Run, boy, run! The secret inside of you Run, boy, run! This race is a prophecy Run, boy, run! And disappear in the trees

36. The Beta Machine - The End A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me

37. Devin Townsend Project - Gump When we last met who was I? I'm sorry we no longer see eye to eye The energy to keep you in while keeping myself out I'm sorry how you'll take this But I just don't have the patience anymore

38. Arrested Youth - Riot! I can't get much satisfaction living in this cave It's tough to breathe, I'm in the belly of the beast Can't sleep with all my rage With me and all my generations living in this cage Pick up your guns and tell your sons, tonight we break the cage

39. Led Zeppelin - Friends So anytime somebody needs you Don't let them down, although it grieves you Some day you'll need someone like they do Looking for what you knew

40. Faunts - M4, pt 2 (Wild) Fight your foes you're not alone Holy war is on the phone Asking to please stay on hold Bleeding loss of blood runs cold And I need you to recover Because I can't make it on my own

41. Faith No More - Ashes to Ashes (Wild) I want them to know it's me, it's on my head I'll point the finger at me, it's on my head Smiling with the mouth of the ocean And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

42. Devin Townsend - Jupiter (Wild) I know you At least I think I do Everything's changed But in the days that are so dark It's wonderful

43. Katatonia - Neon Epitaph (Wild) Shadow of my shadow Cling not to my grief I am long left behind now You are free

44. The Smashing Pumpkins - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning (Wild) Time has stopped before us The sky cannot ignore us No one can separate us For we are all that is left The echo bounces off me The shadow lost beside me There's no more need to pretend Cause now I can begin again

45. Katatonia - Lacquer (Wild) My voice travelling Soaring bird above your head The house we lived in Ridden with disease ... The levee breaking I can't live to fight once more The road to the grave is straight as an arrow I'm just staying around to sing your song, baby

46. Eskimo Joe - This is Pressure (Wild) There is no romance in suffocation The walls fall down like your expectations You want to scream And you want to shout But you've built up steam And you can't let it out This is pressure

47. Portugal. The Man - 1000 Years (Wild) We'll wait 1000 years Until the end of time We'll wait 1000 more Dressed up in gold and white We'll climb the mountain sides To find what's in the sky We'll dig through mountain sides To find what's deep inside

48. Au4 - An Ocean’s Measure of Sorrow (Wild) Forgot my name and who I was. Memories of nothing floating up. All of the sorrow we once knew, Colours the ocean's water blue.

49. Band of Skulls - Carnivorous (Twilight) I am corrosive and cohesive Like a chemical bond I'm all together undone I am the broken kingdom I'm just so, so, so So carnivorous

50. Glass Animals - Flip (Twilight) I wanna go back with a club and attack I wanna take to my guns and break you I gotta make my little foe take his own

51. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me (Twilight) My mind has changed my body's frame, but, God, I like it My heart's aflame, my body's strained, but, God, I like it

52. Kamelot - The Spell (Twilight) All my demons cast a spell The souls of dusk rising from the ashes So the book of shadows tell The weak will always obey the master

53. OSI - Radiologue (Legend) I was dreaming I was heading west thirty days faster Had a fever woke up in a sweat bailing out the water Can't go on Can't go back Heard your voice coming through the noise wrote it in the radio log Hurt my head, wondering what you said so I threw it overboard

54. Katatonia - Don’t Tell A Soul (Legend) I have been destroyed by the perfection that is a lie see I'm moving soon see my feet are already on the road and if you know where I’m going don’t tell a soul

55. Haken - The Mind’s Eye (Legend) The shape of things to come are closer than they seem Changing your design every time you disappear I'm planning my escape through portals of your mind Where people seem to drop like flies

56. Pain of Salvation - Species (Legend) Sometimes I hate my fucking species Yet most days I'll do anything to please it My generation was fooled to pursue our dreams But it is not what it seems You never need what you want And you rarely want what you need

57. Euringer - Do You Kiss Your Mama with That Mouth? (Legend) All my life, misunderstood I'm fuckin' too smart, too smart for my own good The last question, before I go is "Hey motherfucka, do you kiss your mama with that mouth?" Yes! I kiss your mama with this mouth

58. !!! - Pardon My Freedom (Legend) Like I give a fuck, like I give a shit Like I give a fuck about that shit Like I give a fuck about that motherfucking shit

59. Team Sleep - Ataraxia (Legend) Froze asleep Coma deep I dream I'm out with you Alone at sea

60. Oliver Tank - Embrace (Legend) You're in my dreams The world is torn apart at the seams And I don't wanna leave Wearing my heart on it's sleeve

61. Machine Gun Fellatio - The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares) (Legend) The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares I don't know what it means but she's got multi-coloured hair When she stands in the sand I dream of peaches And I'm not sure what that means either

62. Earl Greyhound - Shotgun (Legend & Hyrule) I am nobody, nobody is who I am I am a traveler on this land And nothing, nothing, nothing in my hands

63. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun (Hyrule) You're staring at the sun You're standing in the sea Your mouth is open wide You're trying hard to breathe The water's at your neck There's lightning in your teeth Your body's over me

64. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon (Time) Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him

65. Sufjan Stevens - Sugar (Sky) Don’t break my heart, don’t break my flow now And all this rage has got to go now Let’s take up this lifeline Come on, baby, gimme some sugar Don’t make me wait Don’t make me wait too long Don’t make me sing the sad song Come on, baby, gimme some sugar

66. Obsydians - Ascension (Sky) Rise above the hardships you’ll face I will sign and keep on rising As long as you are giving me your soul and keep me awake Feel like home and spread your light around I will listen and just be there As long as you are giving me your love I’ll give you my soul

67. Sonique - Sky -_-

68. Enter Shikari - The King (Ganon) Watch your back, my friend I'm about to kickstart a cycle Of never ending revenge And this time it's primal, it's tribal

69. Saul Williams - WTF! (Ganon, Hylia) "You've been polluted, uprooted by time You have been muted, computed but I'm A living vessel of the one, of the moon, of the sun" Hey! You ain't as dead as you seem, what the fuck? Hey! But you keep living your lies

70. These New Puritans - We Want War (Ganon/ Dark Link/ any nemesis I guess) Shadows dance back up, it's happening again If you listen carefully you might hear them whisper: "We hold all the secrets, we hold all the words; But they're scrambled and broken so you'll never know" Can't you see them Floating like black ash? Can't you feel them Crawling down your back?

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #listening to music while I stare blankly at nothing is legit my number one hobby #and then shit like this happens #linked universe playlist

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crewhonk · 4 years

Text

Only Happy Accidents (10)

Summary: It’s wedding day!

Warnings: Wedding Nerves, Mentions of grieving, emotional declarations, little Stevie is a naughty boy at the end

Words: Lots

Only Happy Accidents Masterlist

_______________________

You Matter To Me— Sara Barielles ft. Jason Mraz

June 24th, Week 36, Wedding Day

YN woke with a jolt, fingers pressed to her side where her baby had gotten their foot stuck between her ribs. She was sure there would be a bruise blossoming soon enough, and she had only wished that Bucky’s theory about the baby being like Steve in the forties was true. However, that didn’t seem to be the case— the closer they got to the due date, the stronger the baby got and the bigger YN grew. YN was so large, that at this point, Pepper had asked if it was two babies instead of one, and much to Steve and YN’s relief, they were pleased to find out that it was, in fact, just one child.

Steve shifted on the bed next to her, arms slapping the bed until it found YN’s shoulder and hummed, stroking her skin with his thumb gently.

“You ‘kay?” He murmured, still half asleep. “So far. C’mere.” He grumbled, trying to pull YN closer.

“I’m good. Baby just got stuck in moms ribs last night, so mom’s a little sore this morning.” YN cooed playfully down to her belly, and Steve, as if he had a sixth sense, put his hand over the sore spot on YN’s side and rubbed it absently. He mouthed at the back of her shoulder once he had pulled her closer to him, and she wiggled back into him, sighing as her body seemed to naturally react to his.

“You were a little restless last night, sweetheart. You getting cold feet?” He mumbled jokingly and she scoffed.

“About our wedding today? No. More cold feet about having Natasha plan our wedding though— I have no idea what to expect.” YN laughed, shifting onto her back and looking up at her Steve, curling her arm around his head and scratching his scalp as he kissed her collarbone.

“Hey, we got to pick the wedding song and cake, and you got to pick the dress, so as long as you meet me at the altar today, I don’t care if a mime officiates the whole thing. I’ll consider it a perfect day.” He smiled and she rolled her eyes and snorted. “But seriously, you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she replied, remembering that nothing could get past Steve Rogers. “I had a few nightmares last night, though.”

“About?”

“Well, since we haven’t gone officially public, which I still think is hilarious, I had a dream where press helicopters and paparazzi swarmed us and I couldn’t get to you no matter how hard I tried, and every time I almost got to your hand, the dream restarted. Then, I finally got to you and someone objected when the whole ‘stand now or forever hold your peace’ part rolled around and you killed them.” Steve smirked and nodded, and pulled the sheets over their heads, creating a safe little cocoon as he kissed her soundly.

“I’d make sure I got to you first and I’m pretty sure the second bit won’t happen today— there’s only like, thirty people coming. You got nothing to worry about today, my wife.” He hummed and YN smiled.

“Borat?” YN asked, cocking her head and making Steve frown.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She snorted and kissed him again. “Anyways, I’ll always make sure I hold your piece, Husband.” She hummed, sneaking her fingertips under the waistband of his boxers and feeling his stomach shudder as her fingers glided through the hair on his pubic bone. Just as she wrapped her hand around the base of his hot, half-hard cock, the sound of a bedroom door slammed open and something like confetti poppers exploded.

“WEDDING DAY!!!” Three unmistakable voices screamed, and Steve sat right up, shielding YN with his body— sudden loud noises (no matter what they were) never worked well for Steve.

“Oh, it’s you guys.” He said, disappointment unmistakable in his voice.

“‘Oh, it’s you guys,’ he says, disappointed that his fiancee couldn’t finish his hand job. Put your dick away!” Sam whined, and YN grunted, pulling her hands from Steve’s body and sitting up, running a hand through her messy bed hair.

“Dick is away. Why are you guys here so damn early?” She moaned, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she looked at the clock— 8:00 am.

“You get married in four hours, and we have to start getting you ready.” Natasha chirped, skipping over to YN and pulling her up much to the couples annoyance. Natasha pulled a hoodie and sweatpants from Steve’s drawers and tossed them at her, and all parties watched as she hopped into the clothes. She turned just as she went to leave the room and skipped over to Steve, reaching over him, grabbing her phone and wallet and planting a kiss on his lips. The boys hooted and howled and cheered as YN cradled his face in her hands. She straddled him to the best of her ability, but with an eight month belly, she did the best she could, licking at his bottom lip and running her hands through his hair to make sure he looked thoroughly snogged. She pulled back, and took in the sight under her— at his flushed cheeks, and his messy hair, his swollen lips and bright eyes and nodded.

“See you at the altar, handsome.” She winked, a thrill shooting through her body as she rolled off of him and landed as gracefully on the floor as she could. Her own face heated up as she felt his hand smack her butt and she shot back a glare as she left the room.

“You stole my line!” He shouted after her, and she left the apartment with Natasha and a laugh.

Back upstairs, the boys turned back to Steve with smirks and raised eyebrows.

“What?” Steve smirked sheepishly, scratching the back fo his neck and bending his legs to hide the tent that would otherwise be prominent.

_________________________

“Turn to Stone”— Ingrid Michaelson

The girls arrived at Peppers cabin and YN was immediately handed a blindfold that read ‘bride’.

“What’s this?”

“I don’t want the venue to be spoiled. Put it on and I’ll take you upstairs.” Natasha demanded, and not wanting to deny her her day, YN listened and trusted that Natasha wouldn’t throw her down the stairs as they made their way up to Peppers spare room.

When YN was able to take off her blindfold she discovered that the spare room was less of a spare room and more of a fitting room decked out for a queen. There was a snack bar beside the bathroom door, soft fabrics and rugs thrown across the floor and around the pedestal in font of a huge mirror which had YN’s beautiful, stunning wedding dress hanging from. YN gasped and clutched her necklace when she noticed that the hangar read ‘Mrs. Rogers’. Her knees went weak, and Natasha, the woman who noticed everything, held her up and smiled.

“Like it?”

“Natasha. This is— this is amazing I can’t—“ YN gasped, complying with Natasha and sitting in the white armchair in front of a makeup desk. Natasha grabbed her a bottle of water and all the medication she would need and waited and watched as YN took it all.

“This is your day, YN and you’re family. This is what we do for family.” A new voice, Pepper Potts sounded from the doorway. The mini version of Ton Stark popped her head around her moms legs and upon realizing she could finally enter the forbidden-wedding-room, skipped in and climbed onto YN’s lap.

“We’re going to make you a princess today!” She cheered and YN gasped, squeezing the little girls waist and making her squeal with joy.

“But what about you? There can’t be more than one princess!” She played along, and Morgan looked genuinely offended at her words.

“Then you can be queen! Like Elsa!” She demanded and YN laughed, wiping the food from Morgans cheek she had apparently been eating only moments before and kissing her nose.

“As long as I have my Anna by my side.” She smiled and Morgan nodded eagerly.

“Duh!”

___________________

Both Michaela and YN’s mother arrived soon, and soon enough, the preparations had begun. YN hadn’t had much of a breakfast— the combination of nerves and a hyperactive baby making her slightly nauseous (very nauseous), so it was between layers of moisturizer and foundation that she was able to take nips of fruit and bread— the craving of the day, hot Cheetos in ketchup— was immediately banned upon the mention of it by a slightly crazed-looking Natasha Romanoff.

“That! Is not happening! There is too much white in this room!”

Michaela had immediately taken to YN’s hair, and after seeing a few pictures shown by Natasha, she nodded and began to work quickly. YN and her mother chatted idly— not having much to talk about since they’d been distanced since her father had passed, but managing nevertheless. Pepper fixed YN’s makeup up— light and airy, she had said. There was only a light layer of foundation, and it was a glowy, healthy look set with mattifying spray— something that would reduce shine but keep the look.

The four hours passed too quickly, and soon, The dress was being pulled from its hangar and YN was being helped out of her sweater and pants— both being moved carefully to mind the bump, makeup and hair.

The dress was lighter than YN remembered— the fabric cool on her hot skin, and flaring over her bump. Despite the looseness of the fit, YN couldn’t help but feel sexy— the slim, but plunging neckline mirroring the wide and plunging back. The star patterns in the fabric glinted in the light, and when she turned around, the four women gasped and Morgan cheered loudly.

“Princess! Princess! Princess!” She began to chant, and soon, the four grown women joined in, tears streaming down their own faces as they clapped and jumped excitedly. They crowded around her and fussed, adding final touches and chirping to each other and cooing over how genuinely perfect YN looked. Soon, she was coasted into the view of the mirror, and YN couldn’t even recognize herself if she tried.

Her skin looked fresh and perfectly toned— body shimmer making her have a glow that radiated from the inside. Her hair was shining and healthy in the natural light streaming through the curtains, and the dress— oh, the dress. It looked as if it was made for her by the Gods themselves.

There was a hush as YN’s mother took the veil and clipped it in her half-up half-down hair, fanning it around and YN stared at herself— in complete awe at what these women had helped her become. She was so lost in the patterns of the dress and her skin that YN couldn’t help but jump at the sound of the door opening and closing.

She turned quickly to find Bucky staring at her and shaking his head, an awed smile on his face.

“Wow. That Rogers guy is one lucky man.” He commented, walking over to the podium and helping YN off of it, kissing her forehead and pulling away, looking her up and down and shaking his head. “You don’t even look like the same person from this morning.”

“Is he here?” YN blurted, flushing bright red. She could have asked what he was doing here, or if the fact that she looked different from this morning was a good or bad thing, but all she could think about was the fact that Steve may or may not be here, right now. In the suit and tie she would be marrying him in.

“He is. And, YN YLN, I have never, in all my 100 years of knowing the guy, ever seen him look so excited or happy. You are his soulmate, he’s yours and— I’m just so happy that you came into his life. He loves you more than anything in this world, and believe me when I say it’s not just about the baby. You have him wrapped around your finger and he wants to live there.” He said, tears filling his eyes. “Thank you, YN YLN. For making my best friend the happiest man on Earth.”

YN looked up at Bucky— his smooth hair tied into a neat bun, and his bright blue eyes shining and happy and his scruffy cheeks pulled back in a wide, happy grin— and sniffed, her chin wobbling.

“Nope!” Natasha chirped, voice thick with emotion of her own. “Get out, you can’t make her cry!” Bucky resisted Natasha’s pushing, and tried his best to not feel horrendously fazed by the daggers shooting from her eyes.

“I can’t do that.” Bucky smiled, wiping his eyes.

“Why not?” Natahsa glared, resting her fists on her hips and tapping her foot. In tandem with the light blue bridesmaid dress, her hair and expression looked fiery and dangerous and it shot a thrill through even YN’s body.

“Because it’s time.”

__________________

“Keep Breathing”— Ingrid Michaelson / “Little Wonders”— Rob Thomas

YN and Bucky stood facing the back door— the windows were covered by a half-sheer white curtain, something just enough for the crowd to see the silhouettes of the people behind it, but not enough for details. Bucky was waiting for Sam and Michaela to get down to the altar before he opened the door, and as he did, he looked down at the woman who was going to marry his best friend.

“You ready?” He whispered and YN took a huge breath, digging her fingernails into her palms and shifting her weight from one foot to the next.

“I’m just trying to wrap my head around what’s about to happen.” She whispered, voice shaking.

“What’s that?”

“Well, I’m about to marry the old Captain America, the Winter Soldier, the new Captain America and the Black Widow are standing for us, and half the crowd has either saved the planet on more than one occasion or are from literal space. I feel like I’m going to wake up any second from the craziest dream in the world.” She rushed and Bucky snorted, unfurling her hands and holding them in his own. He could hear the chittering of the crowd outside, but he wouldn’t start walking until he knew YN would be sure to follow. Throughout the wedding process and learning more about her and watching Natasha struggle and stress over planning, YN had managed to worm a comfortable place in his heart.

“When you say it like that—“ He joked and watched as a sheepish smile found its place on YN’s face. “It’s time.” He whispered and YN sucked in a huge breath and nodded, steeling herself for the long walk she would have to take by herself. Bucky, sensing her apprehension stopped from opening the doors and entering himself, taking her hands once again.

“You gettin’ cold feet, Doll?” He half-joked. While he did like YN quite a bit, he wasn’t sure he was too ready to drive the get away car for her yet.

“I just—“ YN said, voice quivering with emotion. “I just imagined this day going so differently. Don’t get me wrong! I love that I’m marrying Steve and that I’m having his baby soon it’s just— I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. He was my best friend and he talked about him walking me down and what song we would dance to for the father-daughter dance and— I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do this without him by my side.” She sniffed and Bucky, knowing just how it felt to not have your loved ones by your side, wiped her tears and offered a smile once she met his eyes again.

“I’m sorry I—“

“Let me walk you down. I know it’s not ideal— but you’re family, and Steve is my brother and I want you to have someone who loves you by your side the whole day— your day. Will you, YN YLN soon-to-be-Rogers, do me the honour of letting me walk you down the aisle and give you away to Steve.” He said, eyes kind but overwhelmingly serious, as if this was the most important thing to him.

YN tried to quell the rise of tears from her eyes and her chin wobbled dangerously as she nodded. He gave her his most charming grin as he took her hand and looped it around his arm, squeezing her hand before raising his other hand to wrap around the handle of the door.

“You good to go?”

“Don’t let me fall, Barnes.” YN said, voice shaking.

“I got you, Kid.” He replied, and twisted the handle, pushing both doors open and leading YN out to the backyard. The swell of the wedding march sounded, and the crowd gasped, upon seeing YN and Bucky together. He lead her across the porch and down the steps and his eyes flicked up to Steve who seemed to be holding back from either crying, throwing up, or sprinting off the altar to sweep YN into his arms. Bucky looked down at YN who seemed to be focussed on her feet. He squeezed her arm, and leaned in to whisper into her ear.

“Look up.”

And when she did, Bucky could see YN’s world shift. Her steps were slightly quicker, and her eyes shined in the afternoon sun, and the death grip on his forearm loosened until he was afraid she would pick up her skirts and sprint to Steve, which he thought would be rather amusing.

YN couldn’t breathe— she wanted to be in Steve’s arms and to wipe away the tears streaming down his cheeks and kiss him until either one of them passed out. The world around her seemed to fade away to nothing— the edges of her vision whiting out until the only thing she could see was Steve. He looked impossibly thick and long in his black suit, his shaking hands clasped in front of him, and she couldn’t help the smile spread across her face when she noticed he was bouncing on the balls of his feet slightly. She felt wholly in this moment, and yet, felt as if she was hyper aware of the world. She could feel the deer on the other side of the lake moving, and she could hear the birds chirping and fish jumping in the lake, and she could feel the wind on her skin and the heat of the sun, and if she could pick one moment to live in for the rest of her life, it would be this one.

Finally, she looked up at his face, and the breath was stolen from her lungs at the smile on his face.

‘I love you,’ he mouthed, as she grew closer and she winked.

‘I love you.’ She replied.

Eventually— in a combination of too soon and not soon enough, YN and Steve’s hands are being joined by Bucky, and YN could barely hear anything the priest was saying— his voice a distant drone as she stared into the deep blue and green of Steve’s eyes— memorizing every emotion and colour and solidifying the memory of this day and how his gaze on her face made her feel.

He blinked, and tears spilled from his eyes, and YN breathed out a laugh, pulling her hands from his and wiping them away with her thumbs. She let her touch linger for a mere second and hurriedly re-joined their hands when the priest cleared his throat. It was another five minutes before Steve squeezed her hands and she blinked out of her reverie.

“Huh?” She uttered and flushed with embarrassment when the crowd chuckled fondly.

“The vows.” Steve whispered and YN’s eyes widened.

“Oh. Uh— yeah.” She commented and Steve chuckled and smiled at her— all of the love in the world in his eyes. “Steve. I was trying to figure out what I was supposed to say in these vows, and usually, vows would start with something like ‘since the day that I met you, I knew you were the one’, but our love wasn’t like that. We started it backwards, and it was slow, and awkward but so fast and natural at the same time. Our love is scary, and bigger than us and a year ago, I couldn’t have pictured that my life would be the way it is now. It’s filled with so much joy, and so much laughter and comfort and thrill and it’s so overwhelming to the point of me wanting to scream off the rooftops so that the whole city can have a taste of how much I love you. I will love you for the rest of time, Steve Rogers, and we have so much of it and I can’t wait to get started.”

Steve let out a choked sob through his smile, and wiped his eyes again with the back of his hands, joining them and raising YN’s knuckles to press against his lips.

“I met you, Yn YLN, while you were wearing a sexy pirate number on Halloween night. YN, you’ve added an excitement and thrill to my life that I have never had— something I tried to find saving the world or hiding from it. You’ve given me a purpose that can’t be fulfilled through a job— a purpose without an end. You’ve given me a purpose of love, and devotion, and a purpose to make your heart beat fast and your stomach flip and if we get to fall even more in love along the process then I’m excited for it. My love and purpose for you are bottomless, and you’ve taken my life in your hands and flipped it into something softer, and warmer and into something that I am proud to live. Loving you is the new purpose you’ve given me and I will thank you for it for the rest of my days.” YN could hear the sounds of people blowing their noses and sniffling and YN looked up, tears leaking from the outside corners of her eyes as she let out a shaking breath.

“Shit.” YN cursed, smiling up at Steve who was mirroring her shaking shoulders.

“Would the ring bearess please bring the rings?” The priest called, voice warm and soft. YN turned her head away from Steve for the first time since the ceremony had begun to watch Morgan slowly walk up to the altar, seemingly balancing two gold bands on one light blue pillow, despite the fact that they were tied with ribbon. He little tongue was poked out the side fo her mouth and her brow was furrowed in concentration until she reached YN and Steve who bent over and untied the rings, thanking Morgan with kisses and words and rising again to face each other.

“Do you, YN YMN YLN, take Steven Grant Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband, until the day you die?”

“I do.”

Steve took YN’s hand in his own warmer one, and slid the band on her left ring finger, raising it to his lips to seal the promise of his love with a kiss, making YN’s heart flutter in her chest with the love she had for him.

“Do you, Steven Grant Rogers, take YN YMN YLN to be your lawfully wedded wife, until the day you die?”

“I do.”

YN sniffed, and took Steve’s left hand in her own, and with shaking fingers, slid the ring on, mimicking his actions and kissing his knuckle, watching in glee as his cheeks flushed even redder than they already were.

“Then by the power vested in me, by the grace of God and the state of New York, I declare you YN and Steven Rogers! You may now kiss the bride.”

And Steve, evil glint in his eye, took YN’s waist in his hands, and swept her in a circle before dipping her low to the ground and planting his lips on hers through a toothy grin and elated giggles from his beautiful wife.

And, as Steve grabbed his wife’s hand and lead her down the aisle— her bouquet raised in the hair and as rice was thrown over their heads Steve Rogers swore he could never be happier than he was in this very moment.

___________________

“Lover”— Taylor Swift

“Please welcome, for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Steve Rogers!” With a flourish of white and blue curtain, YN and Steve Rogers stepped out into the back yard, and gasped. The backyard had been changed from a summer camp cabin yard to an elegant shot from some romance movie. Fairy lights were strung from the tree to the edge of the deck roofing, and blue and white flowers were strung between them. The soft branches fo the willow tree were also weaved through the strings of the lights, giving the yard a sort of roofing structure which allowed the brightness fo the moon and stars to still be shown. Glowing warm lights were posted at every table and around the perimeter of the space, and frankly, YN had never seen anything quite like it.

“Steve.” YN could only utter, and he squeezed her arm as if to say ‘I know’. He lead her through the clapping guests and up to the main table where they sat in the middle, with Natasha, Sam, Michaela and Bucky on either side of them. Without even having the chance to ask when the food would be served (YN was starved, and so was baby), caterers swept out from the house and down the stairs to elegantly place soup and salad and bread in front of them.

The entire meal moved like this— entrees and meals served between speeches from friends and family— even Morgan had lamented about how much the Princess YN deserved a special day like this, and how she truly looked like royalty in the dress Uncle Bucky had chosen for her. Sam, already drunk rambled about how much Steve deserved this and in the same breath, exposed every embarrassing thing Steve had done when he was seemingly alone. YN had cried laughing at that speech, and Steve looked between murderous and amused when Sam had told the entire crowd that Steve had waterboard himself on more than one occasion— the first time being ‘I wanted to see what it felt like’, the second time he had the hiccups and followed Natasha’s orders to drink water from the other side of the glass to quell them, and the third time was when Steve was watching cartoons and was too lazy to move from his upside down position on the couch to take a drink of water.

“You are too cute for your own good, Rogers.” YN giggled in his ear, drunk off joy and the energy of the crowd.

Finally the meals ended, and the tables were cleared and pushed into the periphery of the yard— far enough fr the thirty guests to dance, but close enough to fall into at a moments notice.

“I think this is our queue,” Steve mumbled and offered his hand which his wife smiled graciously and took, letting him lead her to the centre of the dance floor. While she knew Steve would have appreciated something slow, both YN and Natasha were thrilled with the final choice of song for the first dance.

Steve spun her slowly into his arms as the slow guitar and bass filled the yard and swayed gently as Taylor Swift’s voice crooned the words to “Lover”.

‘Have I known you 20 seconds, or 20 years.’

Steve huffed a laugh at the lyric, smiling down at his beautiful wife and pressing his forehead against hers.

“Have I told you how breathtaking you are today?” He murmured and YN snorted, pressing as close to him as her bump would allow.

“Once or twice.” She replied, smiling up at him, and she swore the gold light of the candles and firelight made his skin glow and his eyes the deepest blue she’d ever seen. The eyes which had seen so much trauma and bad were so soft on her, taking in every speck of glitter and every bit of blush and every freckle which poked through the thin later of makeups he was wearing.

The wold seemed far away as the two swayed together, simply trying their best to live in the moment and in each other.

‘I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.’

“I love you, Steve Rogers. Never thought I could be this happy again.” YN whisered, her hand curling through his dark blonde hair curled at the base of his neck. He grinned and bent down, pressing his soft lips against hers and drinking her in, running his tongue on her bottom lip to remember her taste. He pulled away and she laughed, thumbing the pink lipstick off of his mouth before kissing it once more.

“I’m happy we feel the exact same way.” He replied, placing his forehead on hers and rubbing his nose against hers. Their lips barely brushed as they shifted around the room once more.

The world came back to them soon enough with the sound of whistles and applause, and both YN and Steve blushed happily— not int he shame of being caught or exposed for their love, but for the fact that their love was so accepted and celebrated and it was almost overwhelming to see how happy their love made other people— let alone themselves. Finally— after seemingly waiting a lifetime, Steve and YN’s left ring fingers glinted the light as they were raised to the stars in celebration— never straying too far from one another at all.

______________________

“Kiss - recorded at Spotify Studios NYC”— Kelly Clarkson / “Suit & Tie”— Justin Timberlake, JAY-Z

The bouquet had been thrown (Natasha had caught it, Bucky refused to make eye contact), the mead had been poured (Steve’s cheeks were flushed a healthy red, and Thor’s laugh boomed across the yard), the kids were huddled under a table, trying their damndest to stay awake with the snack they’d smuggled with them. Both Michaela and Sam had dissapeared multiple times over the course of the night— both returning seconds apart from one another with messy clothes and swollen lips, and YN had managed to sweep her mother away from Pepper multiple times over the course of the night to dance with her the way they used to in the kitchen, only to be interrupted by Steve who would wink at you and take your mothers hand. Morgan had graciously saved you from dancing alone after those incidents— both of you jumping up and down excitedly. Shoes and jackets were thrown haphazardly over table and chairs and drinks lay on their sides, long forgotten.

Finally, the final event of the evening before people were allowed to disappear from the venue was called— the garter toss.

“Would the groom and bride please return to the dance floor, please and thank you!” YN broke away from Pepper and her mom to the sound of Sams voice singing across the yard. In the middle of the dance floor were two things that made YN’s blood rush eagerly.

A wooden chair. And Steve Rogers, smiling mischievously at her.

Every time he had caught her eye over the course of the night, she grew more and more dizzy with love and lust for him. It had started when he’d shed his jacket— taught muscles pulling at the white fabric of his shirt, and his hair grew more and more mussed up the more he danced and jumped with his friends and wife. At some point, YN and Steve had been dancing, and in an attempt to seduce him, she’d undone his tie and left it there, undoing the top two buttons and kissing the sweaty skin she had revealed.

Another two buttons and come undone since then— and bits of light brown chest hair began to show itself. He extended his hand towards her, and smiled— cheeks flushed bright and eyes shining with joy. YN blushed and walked across the floor to join him, letting him kiss her and place her gently in the chair before he nodded at Sam to start the music. The heady bass made YN’s heart pound as Steve began swaying his hips— the mixture of mead and wedding making him dorky and confident. His long fingers travelled up his chest and threaded another two buttons loose as he sauntered over to YN and turned, swaying his hips and grinding on her lap, making YN shriek with laughter and wipe tears from her eyes. His attempt at sexy was hilarious— and that was one of her favourite parts fo him.

He spun around quickly, falling to his knees in front of her and surging up to kiss her lips before sinking down on his heels and wrapping a hand around her ankle. In front of everyone, he raised her ankle and planted a solid kiss on it, trailing them up her leg as he pushed her dress skirts higher up her body. After they had gotten to above her knee, he winked at her and flipped her skirts over his head, and YN clutched the sides of the chair as the crowd cat called them. She could feel him already working his magic on her skin. He was dragging his beard across her sensitive skin, and soothing the irritation with his lips and tongue. His hands were boiling hot, and his left hand wasted no time in pushing her thighs apart and pressing against the heated cotton of her underwear as his teeth found the fabric of the white garter wrapped around her thigh. YN couldn’t hold back her squeal as Steve pushed her underwear to the side and swiped two fingers up her core, gathering the slick of her pussy just as he began to pull the garter down her leg. He pulled out of the dress quickly, absently flinging it over his shoulder (it slapped pathetically against Bucky’s chest), and while everyone was distracted with the fact that both Natasha and Bucky had caught the omens of the next marriage, Steve raised his two glistening fingers to his lips and sucked them. He leaned over YN and kissed her, and she moaned lightly at the taste of herself on his tongue.

“God, you’re going to be the death of me, Rogers.” YN cursed at him and he winked, only pulling his face inches away from hers.

“Wanna go find a place to make out, Rogers?” He asked, breath smelling of YN and mead and mint, and YN shuddered a breath.

“Yes, please.”

___________________________

Tag List (send me an ask, ONLY. must interact with the fic more than a like): yesfanficsaremylife / notyourtypicalrose / laurxn-robinson / disaster-rose / lille-kattunge / wwecrazed2010 / vxidnik / chewingoffmyfoot/ vitamingrant / captainamericasbeard / chrisgalore / songforhema / mmyepic / multifandommandy / tommyhoe / lostdarksoul6 / crist1216 / taeeemin / jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory / feelmyroarrrr / teller258316 / mrsdeanwinchester19 / qrangr / mariswritingforfun / nerdypinupcrystal / kittycatlover18 / laucontrerasv / printedpeterparker / @dumblani / @captainomad / eversonaive / rainbowkisses31 / i-think-i-am-adorable / rainbowkisses31 / smalltintedgorl / geeksareunique / jennmurawski13 / clutteredmind-emptythoughts / venezuelaanklemayonnaise

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers series #Steve Rogers drabble #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #Dad!Steve #dad!steve rogers

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catty-words · 1 year

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#not a face cradle or a snot wipe but a secret third thing #(impossibly tender daxton thumb)#never have i ever #devi x paxton #nhieedit #neverhaveieveredit #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #devivishwakumaredit #paxtonhallyoshidaedit #gifs by catty #marinara & mint #messy grieving baby queen #goddess of chaos and amazing skirts #catty liveblogs nhie s3: rewatch edition

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tortured-swiftie · 4 years

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@revouries sorry it took so long but here is my full list of song recs! Ps - it is loooooong

So I’m still very surprised anyone is even interested in this but its a really cool thing to share! This playlist has taken me close to a decade to create and I’ve been asked to share it with you all! Fair warning - heavy spoilers, and a lot is based on ship angst, don’t come for me. Also I have only read TDA twice and its been maybe a year since I did so I don’t remember everything perfectly. I had a lot more time with TMI because I read them for years and years. TID & TLH don’t really have soundtracks for me, because of the time period these modern songs really feel wrong when I read those series.

TMI :

Battle in Hotel Dumort in CoB -

- I’m So Sorry - Imagine Dragons

The pace of this song, the sinister notes, the danger it invokes just brings this scene alive. But also, this is the first time Clary feels like a Shadowhunter. She fights and its not terrible. She feels powerful instead of like a liability. Shes able to hold her own while talking to a clan of vampires. Its badass and fits the song.

Seelie Court kiss scene in CoA -

- The Violet Hour - The Civil Wars

Its such a beautifully haunting song, its sweet on the one hand but something wrong lies underneath it. It is so so perfect, because Clace is getting what they’ve wanted, but by hurting those around them. They get to give in for once, without the guilt attached, they have someone to blame for all this. But it ends on this very uneasy note, because it isnt right. So much of it is not right and Clace are not satisfied because it wasn’t a real kiss or real declaration of love

Jace and Clary after the meeting with the Seelie Queen in the Institute in CoA -

- Black Flies - Ben Howard

This is a very Jace song for me. Its quiet, peaceful, but the words are hurtful and honest. “No man is an island” fits him so perfectly at this time in his life where he feels abandoned by Valentine, abandoned by Mayrse, abandoned by literally everyone so he wants to make it worse by committing to Clary. She is so unsure of him because of the repercussions it would cause and he wants her in this moment because of the repercussions. He wants to isolate himself so he cant be hurt by those he loves.

Jace meets Valentine on the boat CoA -

- Silence Worth Breaking - Brooke Annibale

This is where Valentine really shows off how manipulative he is, and as a reader you start to believe how easy it would be to get around to his way of thinking. imo this is the best villain CC has written, because you find yourself agreeing with him sometimes and he makes it difficult to argue from a different perspective. The first time I read this scene I was convinced he was going to go with Valentine. The song is foreboding, it is anxious, and makes you think something bad is around the corner, which at this point in the book you feel like something bad is bound to happen

Simon is about to die on the back of Luke’s truck end of CoA-

- Wait - M83

This just perfectly conveys the grief and fear and guilt Clary feels when she thinks Simon is about to die. She brought him into this life, he turned into a vampire because of her, he was tortured by Valentine because of her and just as they saved him he is going to die. Its the loss of innocence and childhood for Clary. Simon is the last piece of it stripped away from her. First her mum, then her belief system in her whole world, then Luke, and now Simon. She is stripped all the way down to the bone of her identity and this scene is quick, but intense for this reason for me.

Clary and Jace meet up for lunch at the end of CoA -

- Distance - Christina Perri

This is such a sad song, and the sweetness of Christina Perri’s voice pairs beautifully in this scene with a feeling of a bittersweet kind of resigned acceptance. Clary had wanted so bad for Jace to let her go, she had convinced herself that her feelings weren’t that strong. And now here she is accepting her true feelings and ready to kind of wrap Jace around herself like a security blanket and he tells her exactly what she wanted to hear earlier. Except now she has to be a big girl and face her life without anyone holding her hand. She has to grow up and thats what makes this scene so sad, this is Clary realising its time to grow up.

Clary and Jace find Ithuriel in CoG -

- Goodbye Godric - Nathan Barr

This song was always ethereal and otherworldly, the notes are awe inspiring and convey this grief that is so abstract and not individualistic, it is beyond the human experience. Clary and Jace’s complete altruism and empathy in this scene matches with the grieving tones, how helpless they feel at this beautiful creatures pain, and how much they want to do something but they don’t know what. Then Ithuriel shows them visions and its even worse than they imagined. The misery that exists in these walls caused by Valentine, the waste of energy and life and soul is amplified by the music. The music soars as Ithuriel is set free, and the manor home crumbles.

Clary and Jace make out session outside the newly ruined Wayland Manor CoG -

- Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

This wild abandon kissing perfectly matches the mood and pace of this song. Its all over the place, its messy, its confusing. Its giving into pure passion. Its abandoning any pretences they have built up and watching reality crash back down on them.

Isabelle wants Simon to distract her after Max dies in CoG -

- Not Everything Was Better In The Past - Fink

This is such a tenderly played song, and is easy on the ears, but there is a rawness there. Isabelle is completely stripped away, raw grief and anger and guilt eating away at her. When she lets Simon in she is ferocious and wants to show him her toughness. But Simon sees through it all to a scared young girl who is lost in this sea of grief. Its a sweet Sizzy moment

Jace telling Clary he loves her for the first time in CoG -

- Leave a Light On (ACOUSTIC) - Tom Walker

Jace shouldering the responsibility of finding Valentine by himself, essentially sacrificing himself to the cause, hes grief stricken, and yet feels barred from that grief. I know we experienced this scene from Clary’s POV but this song works so well from his POV. He wants to tell the girl he loves how he feels, he wants one night with her to feel normal and feel loved, and to pretend just for a little while that there is nothing wrong with that. This very stripped version of the song is much much much more raw, and that’s what Jace feels like in this scene, all the walls are down and he wants to show his real face to this one girl

Clary showing off her rune skills in the council chamber in CoG -

- I Found - Amber Run

This was the first scene I imagined from a filmmaking perspective, how to best present this scene. I imagined this entire scene from Jocelyn’s POV, frame by frame, as she walks into the council room very quietly and watches her baby walk up and address everyone in desperation, voice shaking but standing her ground. Grown, bigoted, adults judging her and are fearful but she is still showing them what she’s worth. I imagined Jocelyn’s entire world view shifting because she is in awe of this powerful girl Clary has become. She watches her daughter no longer as a little girl but as a formidable Shadowhunter that could handle the cards she had been dealt in life. Just a very transformative moment and pivotal in how we see Clary in the TSC universe

Lilith takes over Jace’s mind and disappears with Sebastian at the end of CoFA-

- I’ll Keep Coming - Low Roar

This song starts out so uneasy, it cant settle down, and that’s exactly how I feel when Jace sends Clary downstairs. I want to scream at her to stay, but knowing Lilith would always take over no matter what. Its a very dark moment, because no one wants to lose control of themselves and it must have been pretty scary at first. Its an anxious scene, paired with an anxious song

Magnus takes happy memories away in CoLS -

- Howl - Jake Houlsby

Magnus is looking very sad when he does this, especially what he says to Simon. Its such a knowing look, Magnus is no stranger to this kind of sorrow, but still to be witness to it over and over must take its toll. It just makes me think of the endless road stretching out ahead of him and how lonely and terrifying that must feel for him. Just a beautiful song to go with a sad moment in this scene

Clary at the Faerie club with Jace and Sebastian CoLS -

- Faded - Alan Walker

- Darkside - Alan Walker

At this point in the story you feel a lot like Clary is getting too comfortable and is maybe losing sight of the mission she’s on. These two songs are very club sounding to me, and tonally fits the mood of the chapter. Clary is quite literally lost in that moment with the Faerie drugs and the dancing and the atmosphere

Clary dancing with Sebastian CoLS -

- Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

First of all lyrically….it cannot get more perfect. “Go ahead and cry little girl nobody does it like you do, I know that you got daddy issues. And if you were my little girl, Id do whatever I could do…” it just conveys the creepiness of Sebastians interactions with Clary and how weird she felt when he was dancing with her and how wrong it felt. This is a very short moment in this chapter but it really creeped me out. And this song conveys perfectly this feeling of haziness of the Faerie drugs and this uneasiness that surrounds Sebastian

Simon drinks from Isabelle CoLS -

- Harvest Love - Tash Sultana

This is a pretty soulful, sensual song. And when Simon drinks from Isabelle and he describes the euphoria that comes with that, the description of how his nerves react to the fresh blood just remind me of the part in this song where the drums and music soars the highest (start around 3:32, and it reaches its peak around 4:48) its honestly one of the sexiest scenes CC has written, even including all the Jemma scenes

Magnus and Alec break up in CoLS -

- Evergreen - Ben Howard

First time reading this I was so so angry at Alec, and felt the sorrow and anger coming off Magnus. This song is very dark, and very sinister. Magnus completely misunderstood what Alec was trying to do, and applied the most sinister meaning to his actions. It is their perfect breakup song imo full of angst

Clary traps the Heavenly Fire into her sword in CoHF -

- Outro - M83

This is another scene I imagined cinematically. The first half of the song is where Clary slowly makes her way over to Jace and she suddenly has faith in herself that she can do this. Then we watch her take Jace’s hands as the radioactive wind sounds start and the flames are swirling around them but not touching them. Cut to Magnus and Luke seeing the colour on the horizon, and the flash that shows its over. Cut back to Clary drawing the Heavenly Fire into the sword as the music swells around her. The words are so so powerful, and they always felt very ethereal to me “I’m the King of my own land” This is Clary fully embracing her power and fully utilising it. Its no longer something separate from her, but she IS her power.

Clary killing Sebastian, pretty much a lot of the scenes before the time jump CoHF-

- Saturn (both acoustic and original version) - Sleeping At Last

This song is definitely an end of film/book / end of heroes journey material. Simon sacrificing himself so they can get back, Clary killing Sebastian and forgiving him, Clary scattering the ashes of Sebastian and finally grieving the past years trauma (all of the TMI journey), the Faeries being condemned by the Clave and Helen getting exiled. Its beautiful, its sad, its momentous, its not a regular song.

Alec finds Magnus in Edom in CoHF -

- I Of The Storm - Of Monsters and Men

The steady drum beat adds a sense of steadiness and calmness in this song. Its not a joyful getting back together but they’re both glad the other is alive and are both forgiving each other. For me, this is when I truly started shipping Malec. The growth, the strength of character begins from this moment. This is when they become a couple I love because this is when they commit to each other flaws and all

Isabelle introduces herself to Simon at the end of CoHF -

- Golden Dandelions - Barns Courtney

Isabelle has always felt like a full punch character, no half measures and all that. The feeling Simon describes when he first spots this beautiful girl walking directly up to him is how this song starts, for me at least. The drums, the barely contained excitement, the curiosity, and faint recognition. This song is a full punch song right from the get go and it felt like such a remarkable Isabelle moment

After Jocelyn & Luke’s wedding in COHF -

- From Gold - Novo Amor

It is such a bittersweet, and peaceful song. There are so many endings in this scene, and so many new beginnings. They are all grieving, one way or another, and are all allowing themselves to evolve. Their journey is over, and at the end of this book I had this sense of saying goodbye to these characters (retiring them so to speak) because I wasn’t sure how much they would be involved with the future of the TSC world. Im glad they are still a big part of it, but they will never be the main focus again.

TDA:

Julian and Emma dance in LM -

- Give Me Love - Ed Sheeran

The sexual tension, and the dread they both feel because of their feelings just makes this scene so dramatic to me, and this song softens it a little. Especially if you are re-reading the series you feel this tenderness because they so badly wanted to avoid falling in love

Mark and Kieran in the Hunt -

- Dance Me To The End of Love - The Civil Wars

This is a pretty offbeat quirky song, a little sad, a little wistful, a little mournful, sensual, but tones of wildly abandoning all you know and giving into baser desires. Whenever Mark thinks of his time with Kieran in the Hunt, his memories sound like this song. They experienced very high highs, and very low lows. They were degraded, the lowest you could possibly feel as a living creature. Yet they were riding into the night, sleeping under the stars in places only known to Faeries. There was no one watching them, and no one to stop them from being together. There is tenderness in their relationship, but also knowledge that they are only together because they have no one else. Its happiness without truly feeling like you have a choice about it. You have to be happy together because you cant find this happiness elsewhere. They are forced into being in love a little bit, because the alternative is so much worse. This is one of the reasons why I couldn’t ship them at first, because they hadnt really chosen each other. Only when they were presented with other options and they till chose each other did I start seeing their potential.

Julian and Emma on the beach LM -

- Next To You - Of Rust & Bone

This scene completely took me by surprise, and is very unlike CC because love scenes normally take place quite late into any series she has. This one was filled with anxiety, and tension because the characters quite literally fell into their feelings. There was no forethought, no sense of taking stock of what they were doing. And they ended up feeling such different things about it afterwards. So for me this songs darker moods perfectly pairs with this scene

Kieran and Mark argue/break up LM & LoS -

- Fade Away - Tom Walker

This song has such raw power, such dark emotion and anger and a sense of betrayal that it perfectly captures their emotionally charged scenes. Mark can never be the same Mark that belonged to Kieran when he had no one, because now he has his family. And Kieran is still the same man who has no one but Mark. I hated him the first time I read LM and most of LoS but their chemistry is hard to resist. Especially as they evolve as characters as well as a couple. They are wild and unmoored sometimes and there’s something exciting about characters you just cant pin down.

Emma & Jules’ strained relationship LM & LoS -

- 9 Crimes - Damian Rice

When Emma is “with” Mark there is this strange chemistry between her and Julian. Both have hurt each other at different times, but this was really like a stalemate. Neither could really move on, and both were angry at eachother. As more and more people found out/realised about the feelings they had were more than parabatai this tension grew. Because they’re not just falling in love, they are also actively choosing to hurt one another. They are certainly not an example of a healthy relationship but I felt in some way they were the realest. Because sometimes relationships hurt and sometimes you do things you have to do even if that isnt what’s best for your relationship. This song perfectly captures this push and pull they have, and how falling in love wasn’t blissful happiness for them. It was pain and secrets and hurting.

Annabel rising, killing Malcolm LoS -

- As It Was - Hozier

Since we’re watching this scene from above, a very unnatural and cinematic perspective, the scene feels unreal. Like it was a dream and didn’t happen. I felt genuine fear and uneasiness when Annabel is slowly brought back to life, skin growing over old bones. This song has notes that aren’t usually arranged together, instruments that are usually a bigger part of a quartet, and somehow that arrangement feels just a little wrong. It feels different, sinister, and uneasy. It feels like its missing several instruments, or some notes have been played incorrectly. Hozier’s voice is his best in this song, very strained, but so controlled, bringing forth very intense emotions

Christina and Mark at the revel LoS (I couldn’t remember if this was in LoS or QOAAD) -

- Now You’re Gone - Tom Walker & Zara Larsson

Christina really let herself go during this scene, and we see a completely different side to her. She is adventurous, risky, and she would make anyone say “fuck it lets do this” I always liked Christina but I always felt she was very predictable until this point. We see how intensely she is interested in Faeries, and how personally invested she is in their culture. She allows herself to be swept up, and embraces it rather than fears it. She honestly seems fearless here, and is the definition of temptation. She is quite literally tempting Mark, and its sexy a f

Jules & Emma burn down the church LoS -

- Esmeralda - Ben Howard

This was the first time their relationship excited me, because during this scene I fully expected they would go into full thirst mode but they didn’t. They were still very sensual and sexual and intense, but in a very very different way. There is something attractive about someone who’s willing to burn the world down, who has a little bit of an anarchist side. Its human nature to feel some attraction to these traits, and this scene definitely stirred feelings in me

Emma fights Fal LoS -

- Put It On Me - Matt Maeson

This song both tonally and in its pacing elevates this scene to new levels. Its not a typical battle song, it has a steady pace. But Emma’s description of how the battle is stripped down because of the rain, how she prefers this kind of fight where its her, her weapon and the elements. Its pure, and we get to see Emma in full fighter mode. She is an extension of Cortana, and they belong together. This is without a doubt my favourite fight scene to date. It just brings alive the visuals in such a dynamic way. Very storyboard-able.

Julian holding Livvy as she dies LoS -

- Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

This song is harrowing, and its just pure pain, raw grief balled into one intense song. The lyrics just pull you into Julian’s mental state “wake up, its time, little girl, wake up” just kills me. As the music intensifies and the singer is practically screaming the lyrics it just feels like that’s what it must have been like inside of Julian’s mind. He wasn’t screaming out loud but his mind must have been very loud

Julian and Emma shower together QOAAD -

- Promise - Ben Howard

Julian dry heaving because he doesnt know how to cry. Fucking heartbreaking in a very quiet way. After the noise of loss, the quiet moments where you have to face grief is devastating. Emma being an anchor, holding him in place and trying to keep the world away from him so he doesnt hurt anymore is just harrowing. They’re just kids but the grief they feel is so adult. And when you lose someone like that, and someone is there for you that solidifies so much in that relationship. They become a part of something you can never let go of. Even if that relationship doesnt last, they will always be apart of that memory. And Emma sticking by him, despite the danger and promises they have made themselves is proof that she is the one for him

Kieran and Christina dance QOAAD -

- Senorita - Shawn Mendes & Camilla Cabello

This song is sensual, its sexual, its got hooks that quite literally sound like orgasms its such a playful song. When I read this scene this song popped in my head right away. When Christina is dancing with Mark its the same kind of feeling I got from her at the revel, except this time there is no supernatural influence, its just her and her feelings. It was a sexy scene, and when Kieran walks in we all expected something very different. What followed is what elevates this scene, Christina has no clue how to react to Kieran, and yet she is mesmerised by him. She dances with him in a way we would never have imagined her doing this in LM. It shows evolution of character, for all three of them. And the fact that Mark is watching, and he’s not angry just makes this scene even sexier. You can practically feel the sexual tension in the air coming off the pages of the book.

Malec wedding QOAAD -

- That Girl Is You - Dave Matthews Band

This song brings me so much peace, the kind of peace that comes with knowing someone for years, and relying on them, knowing they are a permanent fixture in your life. Its exciting, but in a quiet way. Its a very atypical wedding song, because of the unusual style of singing. But I think it represents Malec really well at this point in their journey, they have gotten over many obstacles, often themselves, in this relationship. Their entire world is changing, and they are taking massive steps and making some pretty big sacrifices as people for this cause. Being Consul isnt going to be a smooth life for Alec with Magnus as a husband and a warlock for a child. But this is what he wants, and this is what he wants Shadowhunters to reflect and be going forward. This song is a very peaceful time in the entirety of TSC, and gave me a similar feeling to the end of TMI

#tsc #song recs #tmi #the mortal instruments #tda #the dark artifices #cc #cassie clare #cassandra clare #the shadowhunter chronicles

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artificialqueens · 3 years

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Duality, Chapter 4 (Crygi) - Metaluna

Chapter summary: Crystal has an incredible day at work, while Gigi has a terrible one. Crystal can tell something is wrong with her girlfriend, but she’s not sure what. When Gigi makes a mistake, it tests their relationship to its core.

A/N: thank you as always to the incredible queen who is @junosjukebox for beta reading. A TW for graphic depictions of violence/death

Crystal impatiently tapped her foot while waiting for the train. Of course the day she had to meet with the artist of an exhibit that she might book, she was running late. It was her first time coordinating an exhibit as the creative director of the museum. Here she was, about to leave a terrible impression on the prospective artist, as well as the rest of the creative team, who also vied for her position.

Checking the time, she saw that the train was running five minutes behind. Five minutes. She could make it, but she’d have to run. Cardio was on Crystal’s list of least favorite things, narrowly avoiding bad vampire movies. Her excuse was the one time she went on a run with Gigi, Gigi said that Crystal’s resting heart rate was two beats higher than average. Plus, she’d just gotten over from being sick.

Running through the streets of Chicago wasn’t necessarily an uncommon thing to see, but with Harry Styles blaring through her Airpods, she couldn’t help but feel like all eyes were on her. As she went up the stairs to the museum, she wasn’t paying attention and nearly collided with a woman, who narrowly avoided spilling her coffee.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” Crystal squeaked.

The woman, who looked sleek and sophisticated who was wearing a suit that looked like it was made for her said, “Don’t even worry about it. Are you running late?”

Crystal nodded. “I really have to go! Thank you!”

“What are you thanking me for?” The woman shouted.

By the time Crystal made it up to her office, her assistant Rock was already waiting for her with an iced coffee.

“Thank you!” Crystal said graciously.

Having an assistant was something she still wasn’t used to. Instead of relying on a planner that was falling apart at the seams, she had someone who kept track of all her meetings for her, who always had an iced coffee at the ready.

“You made it,” Rock said. “The meeting’s going to be down the hall. Conference room B. The artist is already waiting for us, but you’re on time so don’t worry.”

“God, Sasha would have never done this,” Crystal said as she took a sip.

“I know you think you have these huge shoes to fill, but you don’t.”

Crystal took a deep breath and smoothed out her blouse before opening the door. “Hello, everyone.”

Making eye contact with the everyone in the room, a wave of panic washed over her. One of the people who was sitting at the conference table, who she could only presume was the artist, was the same person she almost took out on the stairs.

“So we meet again,” the woman said.

“I’m so sorry about earlier! I was running late and I didn’t see you.”

“Don’t even worry about it. Jaida Hall.” Jaida held out her hand. The power in Jaida’s handshake surprised Crystal.

“Crystal Methyd,” Crystal said as she sat.

Jaida blinked and then raised an eyebrow.

“I know,” Crystal murmured. “My parents hate me.”

“So, tell us about the exhibit,” one of the curators, Heidi prompted.

Jaida stood up from her chair, her body language elegant and confident. “When I was doing my final project in art school I became very interested in horror, specifically werewolves. I independently studied lycanthropy so intensively my senior year, I might as well have a degree in it. It’s been three years since I began my studies, and I thought that it would be interesting to do an exhibit based on the history of werewolves and the interpretations of them through time in different cultures, as well as their representation in pop culture.”

None of the directors said anything, Crystal nodded to prompt Jaida to continue.

Jaida used the television in the conference room to show her art. “As you can see, it’s a very diverse exhibit, all different art styles, linked with a common thread. I feel as though this exhibit can really add a flair to your museum, not that it needs it by any means. It’s unlike any of the exhibits you’ve had before. With Halloween just around the corner, I think it’ll bring a lot of traffic.”

Apparently Crystal couldn’t escape from the supernatural. At least it was just an art exhibit. It’s not like werewolves were real.

“Can’t argue with that,” Heidi murmured.

Crystal had a notepad and pen in front of her, but she didn’t feel the need to take notes. She loved the premise of the exhibit. Jaida was right, it’d add flair to the museum. Jaida’s words were too kind, the museum desperately needed something to make it stand out from the other museums in Chicago.

“This exhibit is so unique. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, and your work is incredible,” Crystal said earnestly.

Jaida smiled. “Thank you very much.”

“I am interested in bringing your exhibit to the museum. Would you be interested in a nine month contract?”

The norm for the museum’s exhibits was usually six months at the most, but Crystal could see there was something about this exhibit that was special.

Jaida’s jaw dropped. “That sounds great.”

“Lovely. Heidi will discuss the details with you. Have a great day.”

Crystal walked away with a huge smile on her face.

Gigi made it clear to Crystal that she wanted to know as soon as possible how the meeting went, so much so that Gigi told Crystal to meet her at the funeral home. While she was on the train, she realized that in the year they’d been dating, Crystal had never been to the funeral home.

When she arrived, Crystal hesitated before opening the door. The sign alone, which read Evermore Funeral Services was enough to make her feel uneasy. Crystal had never set foot in a funeral home, because she never knew anyone who’d died.

Once inside, she didn’t see Gigi. She didn’t see anyone. The funeral home was eerily quiet. Crystal didn’t have much experience with death, so she was on edge thinking about the bodies that were probably in the other rooms.

“Hello?” Crystal called tentatively. “Gigi?”

A woman, who Crystal assumed was Jackie, came forward which made Crystal jump. “You must be Crystal.”

“And you must be Jackie. Nice to finally meet you.”

“You, too.”

“So uh, where’s my girlfriend?” Crystal asked looking around the room.

Jackie pointed in the direction of what Crystal could only guess was the dead body room. “Someone was mauled by a wild animal. She’s probably going to be in there for a while.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, it’s bad. One of the worst animal attacks I’ve seen. He wasn’t recognizable. Police had to use dental records,” Jackie said. “Even Gigi looked shocked, and that woman is unshakeable.”

Crystal’s face looked horrified. “I…”

“Sorry. Well, you’re welcome to go sit on the couch over there.”

The couch was comfortable, much more comfortable than it looked. Jackie sat on the chair adjacent to the couch.

“So Crystal,” Jackie began. “I don’t know that much about you. Gigi doesn’t talk too much about you.”

Gigi didn’t talk about her? That stung, especially considering everyone at the museum knew all about Gigi.

“She doesn’t?”

Jackie saw that Crystal took offense to the comment. “Gigi’s a private person. We don’t talk much about personal lives. What do you do for a living?”

“I’m the creative director at the Chicago Museum of Visual Arts.”

Crystal had to admit, every time she said “creative director” she felt an overwhelming sense of pride, mainly because she worked her ass to get there.

“That’s incredible! I’ve taken my wife there before.”

“Awe, you have a wife?” Crystal asked.

“Yes! Her name is Jan and I love her a lot.” Jackie took her phone from her pocket and showed Crystal her lock screen, a picture of Jackie and a radiant blonde woman at the beach.

“She’s beautiful.”

Crystal couldn’t help but feel jealous. Why couldn’t Gigi get that excited about her when she talked to people?

“I keep trying to get Gigi to come over for dinner. You’d be welcome too, of course. Jan’s an amazing cook.”

“That’d be nice.”

Dinner with someone she barely knew didn’t sound fun. But, she wanted nothing more in that moment to piss off Gigi.

“How does Friday sound?” Jackie asked brightly.

“Friday would be great.“

Crystal could hear Gigi’s voice from down the hall. “That was one of the worst bodies I’ve seen in quite some time. I know you said the family wanted an open casket… That’s out of the question. I’m good, but I’m not that good. No one is. I give up.”

As Gigi rounded the corner, she took her hair down from the messy bun it was in. “Oh. Hi, darling.”

“Hi, baby.” Crystal’s tone was short, which Gigi immediately caught onto.

“Are you okay?” Crystal nodded. “Let’s go into my office.”

Crystal sat in the chair normally reserved for grieving families with her arms folded across her chest as Gigi stood in front of her.

“So… How did it go?”

“What?”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. “Meeting with the artist?”

“Oh. Good.” Crystal knew passive aggression wasn’t a good look on anyone, but she couldn’t help it.

“Just ‘good’?”

“We booked the artist. Her whole exhibit is on werewolves. I can’t escape the supernatural. At least werewolves aren’t real, I guess.”

Gigi looked uneasy. “Yes, of course they aren’t real.”

Crystal looked at her girlfriend and saw just how bad she looked. Crystal kept track of the days that Gigi fed, and she knew it had been an entire week. Gigi didn’t leave her side when she was sick, and it showed.

Even with heavy makeup on, her dark under-eye circles were noticeable. There were light traces of the veins visible through her pale skin. Crystal was used to Gigi’s appearance, but Gigi was shaking. It wasn’t in a weak-needing-to-feed way. It was in a something-was-very-wrong way. Crystal decided that Gigi not talking about her to Jackie suddenly didn’t matter.

“Baby?” Crystal got up and hugged Gigi. “What’s wrong? Something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

Gigi sighed as she spun the pendant on her necklace. “That body was in the worst state I’ve seen in a very long time.”

Crystal knew she was going to regret the amount of details she was going to get, but she knew Gigi needed to talk about it. Gigi needing to talk about things was rare, and Crystal knew she had to take advantage of the moment. She also knew that a body in bad shape wasn’t enough to make her so freaked out.

“What was wrong with… them? The body, I mean.” Crystal asked.

Gigi sighed. “It was one of the most mangled bodies that I’ve seen, not only recently, but ever. The autopsy report said that the intestines were on the outside of the body.”

Crystal winced.

“I’m sorry. I can stop if you want..”

“No, keep going. Spare no gory details for me.”

“The claw marks weren’t anything I’ve ever seen. They were massive. Part of the torso was so shredded, there was barely any skin left, and what was left was hanging on the sides of the body. The face was so shredded, the skull was visible.”

By this point, Crystal couldn’t take anymore, so she changed the subject. “Do you have any idea what could have done it?”

“No.” Gigi answered quickly enough that Crystal raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe werewolves are real,” Crystal joked.

“Absolutely not.”

“Babe, as much as I want to spend time with you, I told Heidi and Rock I’d get drinks with them to celebrate.”

“It’s okay. We have the rest of the evening.”

“You still look really shook. Like, it’s not just that you need to eat. Something is wrong.”

“I’m okay,” Gigi said squeezing Crystal’s hand. “I promise.”

Crystal still wasn’t convinced. She moved her hair away and tilted her neck. “Do you need some just to tide you over?”

Gigi shook her head. “You know how I feel about that. You are not my personal blood bank.”

Whenever Gigi drank from Crystal, it was never for sustenance. It was only during sex, because Gigi didn’t want to treat her girlfriend as her blood whore. The blood whores Nicky kept around always made her uncomfortable.

“Don’t be stubborn, babe,” Crystal said, locking the office door.

“Fine.”

Gigi kissed Crystal’s neck before drawing her fangs. It took a huge amount of self control to not take too much blood. She took the amount she would take when she and Crystal had sex, which was the equivalent of eating a slice of cake, nice at the moment, but not much satisfaction.

Crystal shivered involuntarily once Gigi finished.

“I have to go now, because if I don’t, I’m going to throw all those files off of your desk and fuck you.”

“Please don’t do that. Those are important. Besides, that’s for later. You should go out for drinks now, because I’m about to do the same,” Gigi said, rubbing her blood on Crystal’s neck.

“Babe, I honest to God can’t stand you.”

“I love you, too.”

As much as Crystal didn’t want to think about it, Gigi had to feed in order to survive. Crystal tried to shove the idea of her girlfriend as a killer from her mind. Gigi assured her that she would never see her in that way, by promising Crystal she’d never kill someone in the apartment, since that was their safe space together.

“You know the rule.”

“Of course. No killing in the apartment. I love you, darling.”

“Love you, too.”

Gigi kissed Crystal. “I am so incredibly proud of you.”

“Go feed. You look dead.”

“I am dead.”

Once Crystal had changed to spend time with her friends Gigi sighed. There was no way she felt strong enough to make it out to the bar. The blood she’d taken from Crystal was not enough to satisfy her.

In situations where she was in a pinch, she used Tinder to find someone to feed on. Gigi hated the entire concept of Tinder, but it definitely came of use when she had to find her target. She scrolled through, swiping right to everyone, until a man messaged her. After pleasantries back and forth, including a picture of his penis, he agreed to come over.

Normally, Gigi would bring people to the funeral home. She looked in the mirror at herself. She looked like hell. Gigi was wearing more makeup than normal, and she could still see how ragged her appearance was. She had no other option. She had no choice but to feed in the apartment. It was either to break her and Crystal’s rule, or to kill someone in the streets.

Besides, Crystal wasn’t going to be back until late, anyway.

Gigi sat on the couch neurotically petting Akasha until she heard the knock on the door. With a sigh of relief, she answered the door to a man whose name she couldn’t remember.

“Lauren?” Gigi always made sure to use a fake name.

“Yes, hi.”

She took the man by the hand and sat with him on the couch. Ever since she started dating Crystal, kissing other people felt wrong. But, Crystal said she didn’t care, so Gigi continued her routine. She kissed the man’s neck before drawing her fangs.

Gigi made sure she was precise and clean, so as not to leave any evidence behind. After she dragged the man into the bathtub, she was sure to cover her tracks and make sure that no blood was spilled. Other than a few small drops that were easily cleaned, she was in the clear.

Next, she had to dispose of the body. There were a few things that Gigi kept in the closet that Crystal wasn’t aware of. Most of them were gifts, but there were much darker things, too. Underneath her textbooks on body reconstruction, there were things that she hoped to the gods she didn’t believe in that Crystal would never find. One such thing was a bonesaw that she kept for occasions just like this. Putting the body parts into a trashbag and driving to the funeral home would be the easiest way to get rid of the body.

Making her way back to the bathroom, she partially filled the bathtub so the blood would run down the drain easier. With that, she went to work, starting with the limbs.

Gigi was so focused on dismembering the body, she had no idea Crystal had returned and was watching her every move.

At first, Crystal was in shock. She couldn’t believe what she saw. Watching Gigi completely butcher a body made Crystal want to scream and run away, but instead she froze and watched in terror, wondering how the woman she loved so dearly could do something so morbid. The scariest thing to Crystal was the complete lack of remorse on Gigi’s face.

Crystal could barely listen to Gigi talk about work, even the things that weren’t particularly gory. Death was something that disturbed Crystal greatly. Despite this, Crystal was watching Gigi’s every move. It was like when she saw a motorcycle accident when she was a teenager. Something about it made her unable to look away, as desperately as she wished she could.

Crystal watched silently, until Gigi began cutting the head. Halfway through, Gigi tore the head with ease, like when her brother used to rip the heads off of her Barbies. She put her hand over her mouth and gasped sharply. The gasp was loud enough that Gigi heard.

Gigi looked up at her lover. Without missing a beat, she turned off the saw and shut the shower curtain.

“Crystal…” Gigi began. As she took a step forward toward Crystal, Crystal immediately took a step back.

“No.”

“Crystal I am so sorry.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Crystal…”

She took another step back. “Don’t.”

Crystal ran into their bedroom and locked the do or. Gigi wanted to immediately run after her, but knew that was exactly what she shouldn’t do. Instead, she stood outside of the door.

She gently knocked on the door. “Crystal… Please…”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to look at you.”

“I am so beyond sorry,” Gigi said as she could feel tears of blood stream down her face. “I never meant for you to see me like that.”

Crystal scoffed. “You really think that is why I’m so upset?”

“Yes…” Gigi trailed off. “It’s not?”

“Fucking

unbelievable

. No, Gigi. I know you kill people. Seeing you cut up that guy was fucking gross, but at the end of the day, you’re a fucking vampire. That’s not why I’m mad. I’m mad at the complete lack of respect. I let the fact that you kill people slide. But, you can’t follow one goddamn rule?”

“Can I come in?”

Crystal sighed as she unlocked the door. “Come in.”

“Thank you.”

Crystal sat in the chair in the corner of the room. It was clear to see how tense she was. Rather than sitting relaxed in the chair as she normally would, Crystal had her legs crossed on the chair with her arms wrapped around them. Gigi could tell that Crystal didn’t want her too close.

Wiping away tears, Crystal said, “Like I was saying, you not killing people in this space that we share, the space we made together is something that is so important. It feels like you don’t care about my feelings, just your own.”

“How could you even say that?” Gigi could feel tears of blood stream down her face.

“Sometimes I forget you aren’t human. It was only a matter of time before some shit like this happened.” Crystal’s voice cracked. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Do what?”

“You know what.”

Gigi looked at Crystal. “You can’t be serious.”

The tone of Crystal’s words cut Gigi like a knife.. “Actually, I am.”

“I…”

“I’m going to go. Get rid of him. Clean the bathroom. I need to clear my head. I’ll be back.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

Crystal slammed the apartment door so loudly, Akasha ran into the bedroom.

Crystal didn’t know where she was going. She just knew she had to leave. She put her Airpods in as she walked down the streets of Chicago at dusk.

A feeling of unease crept over her as she entered a neighborhood that was not her own. Even though Crystal and Gigi’s apartment was in a safe part of the city, as safe as one can get in a large city, being out at night was generally something Crystal avoided.

Tonight she didn’t care.

The wind was brisk on her tear-stained face as Crystal continued to walk. She didn’t have a destination in mind. To be honest, she wasn’t completely sure where she was. Crystal tried her best to recognize her surroundings, but night had fallen and she completely lost where she was.

Crystal began to panic. Looking at her phone, she saw that she had three missed calls and eight missed texts from Gigi. As much as Crystal wanted to text her for help, she put her phone back in her pocket.

Something made Crystal feel uneasy, not just because she was lost. It was like she was being watched. When she heard a noise, more than likely just a rat or stray cat, she felt like she jumped out of her skin.

Crystal wanted to scream when she realized the noise came from a figure that was definitely a person, who was quickly approaching.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Once under the streetlights, Crystal saw that it was a familiar face.

“Crystal?” Jaida began. “Are you okay?”

Crystal’s voice cracked. “Yes.”

“No, you’re not,” Jaida said as she guided them to a bench.

Rubbing Crystal’s back comfortingly, Jaida said, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“We barely know each other.”

“It doesn’t matter. Something’s wrong, and I’m not letting you leave until you calm down.”

“First off I have no idea where the fuck I am. But that’s not why I’m crying.”

Jaida wiped Crystal’s tears. “What’s wrong?”

“My girlfriend and I got into our first fight. It wasn’t just a small disagreement. It was a full on huge ass fight that left me saying I didn’t know if I could do the relationship, and slamming the door.”

“Shit,” Jaida muttered. “What were y’all arguing about?”

Crystal had to choose her words carefully. “Basically… We have certain… I guess rules about our apartment. It’s weird to explain.”

“No, I understand. I think.“

“It’s just… she broke our one rule, and doesn’t understand that her ki… I mean, doing the… thing that the rule is about isn’t what’s making me mad. It’s that she clearly doesn’t respect me if she’s willing to break it that easily.”

Jaida raised an eyebrow. “I’m not quite sure what you’re saying, but I think you should talk it out with her.”

“You’re right. If I avoid this it’ll be worse.”

im ready to talk but im lost. im sharing my location with you

I’ll be there soon.

not too soon, im with someone. a friend found me

Got it.

“She’s on her way. You can go, if you want.”

Jaida shook her head. “Are you kidding? I’m not leaving you here. My apartment is just over there. We’re going to wait up there for your girl.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Jaida raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m a nice person?”

“Sorry… I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay. Let’s go.”

Crystal quickly texted Gigi Jaida’s address.

Jaida’s apartment was exactly what Crystal expected. There was art everywhere of all different styles. Even though none of the furniture matched, a stark contrast from her own apartment, it all fit together perfectly. Crystal inhaled the earthy scent of incense as she saw a painting of moon phases on an easel in the corner.

“My roommates aren’t home right now,” Jaida said as she led Crystal to a wildly patterned couch.

“You have roommates?”

There was something about Jaida’s energy that made Crystal think that she would live alone.

“I’m a starving artist who just booked her first exhibit. If I didn’t have roommates, I’d be back at my parent’s house in Milwaukee, the land of Dahmer. Of course I have roommates. But it’s all not bad, my roommates, Vanessa, Scarlet, and Yvie are great.”

“That’s good. Before I moved in with Gigi, mine were… Not.”

Jaida shook her head. “Are you really in your mid twenties if you haven’t had a horrific roommate experience?”

“Or a horrific edible experience,” Crystal joked.

“That, too.”

Jaida sighed. “I know we aren’t at work, but I just want to thank you. For everything.”

“Of course your work is incredible.” Crystal gestured to the art in the apartment. “All of it.”

“Thank you,” Jaida said with a small smile. “I try.”

Crystal and Jaida sat in a comfortable silence as a knock on the door startled Crystal.

“That’s probably your girl,” Jaida said, getting up to answer the door as Crystal followed.

Before Jaida opened the door, Crystal had no idea what to expect. Crystal didn’t know that a vampire cried blood until that day. She also didn’t know that after crying, a vampire’s eyes were red and puffy just like a human’s. Normally, Gigi dressed extremely cohesive, but she was wearing one of Crystal’s flannels and a pair of leggings.

“Hi. I’m Gigi.

“Jaida.”

Crystal had no idea why, but Gigi and Jaida locked eyes. It was like they were taking each other in as they looked each other up and down.

“Do you want to go talk now, Gigi?”

Gigi nodded. “Let’s go.”

While Crystal had a horrible sense of direction, Gigi’s was impeccable. This showed especially as they walked the streets of Chicago. Normally, Crystal wouldn’t feel safe, but after seeing what her girlfriend was capable of, she felt more than safe.

“So…” Crystal began.

“I don’t think that I could ever express how sorry I am. I also don’t think I can express how much it hurts me to know that I hurt you. I didn’t mean to disrespect you in any way, and the fact that I did will haunt me for decades.”

Crystal sighed, formulating a response before she spoke. “You’re right. You disrespected me.”

Gigi began to say something.

“I’m not finished yet. I know that you probably don’t want to talk about it, but I can tell something’s wrong. It’s not just that you needed to feed. Babe, I understand that you might not want to talk about whatever is going on, but just know, I know that something is wrong. I also know that you haven’t fed in a week.”

“It’s no excuse for me to do what I did. I broke our rule.”

“You absolutely did.”

“You saw me for what I really am. A soulless killer.”

“That was… shocking,” Crystal began. “I know you haven’t fed in a week.”

“That is absolutely no excuse.”

“It probably isn’t. But, why didn’t you feed for an entire week?”

“Because I was taking care of you.”

Crystal held Gigi’s hand. “Would a soulless killer take care of me?”

“I suppose not.”

“Baby, I know what I was signing up for when we started dating. It’s fucking disturbing to think about, and part of me realizes how crazy this all is. I know you kill people, but I can see your soul. You claim you don’t have one, but you absolutely do. Yours is beautiful. Also, I will say that I know you don’t tell me certain things, and as your girlfriend, it hurts knowing you don’t fully trust me with certain things. I’m not sure if you think you’re protecting me, or what it is. But, I don’t need protecting.”

Gigi sighed, shutting her eyes as she squeezed Crystal’s hand. “I will spend every day proving how much I love, value, and respect you. I love you. I’ll also try harder to tell you more.“

Gigi went in for a kiss, but Crystal pulled away. “I love you, but I need time to… I don’t know. Decompress? Destress? I’m not breaking up with you, but that was… rough.”

“I understand.”

“Thank you for respecting my boundaries. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Is there anything I can do immediately to prove it?”

“Well…” Crystal hesitated. “I may have told Jackie that we’d go have dinner at her place with her wife on Friday while you were in the dead body room.”

“You did what?”

#rpdr fanfiction #crystal methyd #gigi goode #crygi #jackie cox #lesbian au #vampire au #duality #metaluna #tw graphic depictions of violence #tw gore #tw death #submission #s12

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stimmypaw · 3 years

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Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

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itsanerdlife · 4 years

Text

Cruel Boy 1/33

Pairing: Howie Stark x Reader

Warning: Lies. Betrayal. Just a lot of violence. Mentions of Domestic abuse. Parental abuse. Murder Suicide. Death. Guilt. Hate. Deception. Lots and lots of anger.

A/N: This is a bit darker theme, but Howie isn’t dark. Anger problems and bad choices but he’s not a bad person.

First love. First heart break. Life time of hate. When the silver spoon feeding you love is taken away, you learn to lick it off the knives. Howie Stark broke you. Him and his brother ruined your life. Destroyed your dreams and crushed your soul. Your best friend is dead and your life is a mess. When you take a bartending job, it just happens to be owned by the Bastard Son’s MC. Just your fucking luck. Jokes, you haven’t had luck since Gwen died and Howie ripped out your barely beating heart. There is no way in hell you’re giving him a second chance. Hell will freeze over before you let him touch you again. Not a chance are you ever letting the Stark’s near you again. Hell might have just frozen over.

Tag List Open

Howie drops the shovel, as Peter tosses him a bandana. He wipes his hands working the grim off them, his brow worked together. Peter grabs both shovels and drops them into an oil well, Clint uncaps the bleach bottle and starts pouring. His nose crinkles as the harsh smell of bleach spreads through the garage.

“Where the fuck are the fucking prospects?” Howie bites out, putting his nose into the crease of his elbow.

“Castle needed them. Something about the apartment being claimed.” Clint coughs, still pouring bleach.

“Who the fuck wants to live there?” Peter waves his hand in front of his face, trying to clear the air.

“Don’t know but there’s Castle.” Clint nods.

Capping the empty bottle and tossing it into the large trash a short distance away. Peter and Howie look over, Frank is climbing off his bike, having arrived at the clubhouse. They head for him, reeking of bleach and dirt.

“Don’t you look like beauty queens.” Frank chuckles. It’s deep, and the closest Frank came to actually laughing.

He’s a big guy, at six foot, built like a wall from his years in the military. Still sporting the military cut for his black hair. There’s a five o’clock shadow on his jaw, that never turns up in a smile. Frank has a nasty case of murder face and was always ready to throw down.

“Fuck off.” Howie smirks, flipping up his middle finger. Pulling his hat off he slaps it against his thigh, trying to remove the dirt.

“Where the fuck you got the prospects? We don’t do bitch work.” Peter grumbles, pulling out a smoke.

He tips the pack towards Howie, he takes one. Patting his pockets for his lighter as he puts his hat back on. Peter rolls his eyes, handing over his own lighter.

“Hired a new bartender for the bar.” Frank lights his own smoke.

“Finally?” Clint snorts, already smoking.

“Yeah, she took the apartment too.” Frank nods. There’s a look on his face, Howie can’t place.

“What is it?” He lifts a brow.

“Not really sure I want to know how she got the cash.” Frank admits with a grumble.

“Cash?” Peter lifts his brow.

“Two months’ worth.” Frank nods. Pulling out a folded wad of cash from the inside pocket of his kutte.

“Who the fuck?” Howie’s head tips.

“I don’t know. Got the impression she’s running from something.” Frank shrugs.

“Why do you say that?” Clint asks, taking the cash from Frank.

“She tried to cover it up, but she’s got a black eye and what look like healing hand print on her neck.” Frank scratches the side of his neck.

“Shovels are clean.” Peter nods.

“Prospects are burying the next bitch.” Howie snorts.

“We need to be worried?” Peter wonders, flicking his finished smoke to the ground.

“Not sure yet. She’s got a dog though.” Frank nods.

“A dog?” Howie smirks.

“Not a dog, things scarier than some of the hounds I’ve seen in wars.” Frank snorts.

“What the fuck is she running from?” Clint asks, with wide eyes.

“Not sure. She’s a sweet girl. Tough as fucking steel, all colored hair, tattoos and coke bottle glasses.” Frank shakes his head.

“Sounds hot.” Howie chuckles.

His type of fun time girl. That’s all really they were, any girl. A little fun time, nothing more. A night, a weekend, nothing more. No there was already someone who scarred his heart, and he wasn’t looking to add more to it.

“Does she know about the bar?” Peter wonders.

“I told her it’s a rough crowd, clubs come in. She just nodded with this far off look in her eyes. I have to go back to give her keys. If you want to explain it to her.” Frank shrugs.

“Probably for best.” Peter looks over at him.

“Better us than dad.” Howie nods, tossing his smoke.

“Nat and Wanda should be there soon for opening.” Frank checks his watch. “Just need to grab an extra set of keys.” He heads for the clubhouse.

“Change quick.” Peter nods, as they follow behind.

“Okay, mom.” Howie snorts.

“I swear she didn’t beat you enough as a kid.” Peter laughs, shaking his head.

“Probably cause I have always been her favorite.” Howie grins at his brother.

Peter’s a year older, yet they somehow looked more like twins. They were closer than most, partners in crime, thick as thieves. There was nothing that came between the two of them. Howie ripped his own heart out, just to bare the misery his own brother had to face.

It’s how Starks did things, never alone, always together. It was deeper than the leather, the ink, the brotherhood of the club, it ran deeper than their blood. They grieved together, bleed together, survived together. They were the definition of brothers and best friends.

-------

When they open the door to the bar, they only get inside. Dark grey fur, white spot on her chin, chest and paws. Floppy ears, a scar on the side of her snoot. A teal colored collar stands out against her dark coloring. She sits down, watching them. A very pretty, very serious Pitbull makes it clear she’s here on business.

“Hey baby.” Frank scratches the back of her ear. Her eyes sink closed till Frank walks away. They snap open, watching him and Peter. When Peter steps forward she let’s out something like a warning growl. Peter steps back, as they exchange a look.

“Hey Frankie.” A new voice that must belong to the new girl.

“Hey Tough Girl. Want to let my guys in?” Frank chuckles.

“Oh shit.” She laughs. It’s a direct line to Howie’s chest. His throat closes up, he wasn’t sure he was breathing. “Baby girl, come get your lovin’s before work.” She calls. Baby gets up, tail wagging and trots off. But Howie isn’t moving, Peter makes it a few steps before he looks back.

“You coming?” Peter’s brow pulls together. Howie shakes his head, trying to come back from the memories pulling him under.

“Yeah.” He adjust the hat on his head, a nervous tick. They follow the dog, and the voice that follows.

“Such a needy girl.” She laughs. Frank is standing behind the bar looking down.

“Told you, scary dog.” Frank smirks.

“No shit.” Peter snorts.

“Wait.” The voice behind the bar orders.

Bright, long, vibrant purple, messy hair, held back with a bandana as a headband. Pink, clear, large glasses, vibrant mauve colored lipstick on her pretty mouth. A covered black eye and fading bruises on her neck. She’s wearing a white T-shirt that stops around her middle, in black swirly letters, it reads ‘Fuck Off’.

“Cali girl?” Peter stares.

“Y/N.” Howie swallows. His past comes slamming into his chest at the look on her face.

“Fuck.” Her jaw clenches.

-------------------

Everything Peaches 9/3/19 @mo320 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @irepeldirt @jordan-ia @jcc04220 @dumblani @nishanki1 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @rogvewitch @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sexyvixen7 @doctoranon @queentoffee

@abschaffer2 @tony-stank3 @tomhardy41 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @cutekittybast @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @thelostallycat @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @queenkrissy11 @shield-agent78 @elite4cekalyma @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @scooby-doodoo @chanelmadrid13 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @itzmegaaaaaaan @optimistic-babes @elizabethaellison @rainbowkisses31 @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @itsy-bitsy-spidergirl @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @thatpeachybandgirl @supernatural-girl97 @thefridgeismybestie @dumbbitchenergytm @eggingamazinglove @deathofmissjackson @awkwardfangirl2014 @queenoftheunderdark @laneygthememequeen @writingaworldofmyown @shann-the-artist-moon @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mcuwillbethedeathofme @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Howie 'Damn Boy' Stark: @ml7010 @gabile18 @crayonwriting @callme-barnes @untoasted-ravioli

CB: @sfreeborn @coley0823 @csigeoblue @lakamaa12 @drayshadow @tomhardy41 @ms-rogers06 @wolfiemichele @eridanuswave @tireddork-knight @honey-bee-holly @multifandomgirl-us @eggingamazinglove @badassbeckettswan @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety

#Marvel #OFC!Howie Stark x Reader #Avengers #OFC!Howie x Reader #Cruel Boy #Marvel Fanfiction #OFC!Howie Stark Series #Avengers Fanfiction #OFC!Howie Series

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hailing-stars · 5 years

Text

Thanks to @irondadbingo for putting all of this together!! It was an amazing idea!!

Trope: Peter Wearing Tony’s Hoodie

Summary: 2 times Peter steals Tony’s hoodie, and 1 time he doesn’t have to

**it’s a fix-it, kind of, so it does contain spoilers for Endgame and if you’re staying away from Far From Home trailers, it’s kind of spoilery for that too

like the sun

Peter waited for it, with his bare arms cold, huddled against his stomach, and with bare feet, hanging off the deck, just inches away from brushing the top of the water with his toes.

That morning, the breeze was light, but it kicked water up off the lake, and that was enough to make him shiver, to make his feet and legs just as cold as his arms.

He should’ve put on shoes, or at least socks, but he didn’t have any. Not any that wasn’t borrowed from someone else.

Still, even cold and underdressed, he waited for it, for that couple of seconds when the sun would rise up and hit the water at just the right angle. It was beautiful, and more importantly, it was the same.

A lot changed in the five years Peter Parker was dead, but he could still count on the sun to come up the same way it always had.

Tony’s cabin by the lake was beautiful too. He built a beautiful life with Pepper and Morgan, and occasionally Rhodey and Happy. They dropped by for visits a lot, even now, as well as other mismatched Avengers, just looking to say hello or thank Tony for his sacrifice.

It wasn’t lost on any of them that Tony could’ve lost more than his arm.

A stronger gust of wind blew off the lake, and Peter rubbed at his arms, trying to get warm. It didn’t help much. He needed a jacket. One of his jackets, but they were all gone. Looted after the snappening, like the rest of the items in May and Peter’s old apartment, like the rest of their old life.

Stolen from them. Gone. Everything was gone.

Peter took a deep breath, to remind himself that he could. That he had life, even if it wasn’t the same as the one he lost, and he should feel grateful to have it.

Some mornings being grateful was harder than others.

“Pete?”

He turned his head and saw Tony walking down the deck, towards him, with a cardinal red hoodie in his hands. He handed it over to Peter, and after he accepted it, sat down next to him. Peter looked at the hoodie in his hands.

White letters across the chest spelled out MIT, and now that it was closer, Peter noticed the red was slightly faded. He slipped it on before Tony could order him to do it. Warmth spread over his arms, and across his back, as Tony stretched his arm over him and pulled him closer.

That was another difference were life then and life now. A positive one.

He had died as Tony Stark’s intern, as Iron Man’s protégé, but came back as his child.

Evident by a hug that knocked the air from his lungs, by a kiss on the cheek in the middle of a battlefield, and by the way all that affection was so freely given once they were all home safe, under the roof of the cabin by the lake.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Peter. “I’m good.”

“Oh right, that’s believable,” said Tony. “You’re out here, barefoot and freezing to death this early, when you should be sleeping, because you’re good.”

Tony’s sarcasm, and his way of forcefully and accurately calling him out on bullshit, that was the same, just like the sunrise.

“I like watching the sun come up,” said Peter. “It’s the same every morning, when there’s no clouds, and I don’t sleep well at night, anyway.”

Tony sighed and squeezed Peter’s shoulder, brought him closer to his side.

“You know, it’s okay if you’re not good,” said Tony. “I’d understand. We’d all understand.”

Peter took another breath, a deep one in, then exhaled. Again, trying to remind himself he should feel grateful, but it didn’t work. Something about Tony’s presence, his arm around his shoulder, forced honesty. Another something that hadn’t change. Another good thing to add to his list to convince himself that this new life was good, and still held glimpses of the one that was dead.

“Everything’s so different now,” admitted Peter. “The world… just kept going, some of my friends are in college-“ he looked down at his hand, his fingers, where red and gold fingernail polish was chipped and starting to fade “-You have a daughter.”

“She’s amazing, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

She was a difference, and another good one. Peter had always known Tony wanted kids, but he sort of always thought that he’d be there in the hospital when they were born, that he would hold them as babies.

Morgan was four, and constantly reminding everyone that she wasn’t a baby.

And Peter wouldn’t change that. Not for anything. Morgan was perfect, and playing with her, letting her paint his nails red and gold, made Peter stop keeping track and making lists of all the things that were different and all the things that were the same. Peter just wished he wouldn’t have missed so much of her life.

Or so much life, in general.

“I know I shouldn’t feel sad,” said Peter. It felt wrong to even admit it out loud, especially to Tony, who’s sacrifice made his breath possible. “I know I should be happy to have another chance, but I just can’t. At least not all the time.”

“I get it,” said Tony. “And its okay. You’re allowed to grieve for your life before, for what you lost and still celebrate being alive. It’s okay to feel both, nobody’s mad at you, and no one wants you to feel guilty about it, alright?”

Peter looked at Tony, meeting his brown eyes, and nodded, slow and unsure, then turned his eyes back to the treetops. A breeze ran through the leaves as gold light peaked through the empty spaces it left. The sun was almost up.

“There wasn’t a second you were gone I didn’t miss you, or that I didn’t feel awful for not being able to save you, but still, I couldn’t regret the way things turned out, because if they didn’t turn out that way, maybe I wouldn’t have Morgan.”

And yet, when given the chance, Tony put his beautiful new life on the line so he could have them both. Peter didn’t know if he’d ever be able to repay Tony for his gamble.

Life was pretty complicated and messy, filled with contradictions and emotions that contradicted themselves but somehow never cancelled each other out. It was more complicated now, after the snaps, but the sun still came up over the trees in that just right angle to cast a goldish, greenish, turquoise light out onto the lake, just the way it did every morning, when there weren’t any clouds.

Peter and Tony sat on the end of the dock, huddled close together, and watched the array of colors that were reflected on the lake, and once the light show was over, they went back inside. Peter fell back asleep on the couch, with nothing but Tony’s hoodie keeping him warm. Hours later, he woke up to the sound of Tony and May laughing together in the kitchen, and to Pepper and Morgan playing outside on the porch.

A couple of days later, when boxes of clothes arrived for Peter and May, he held onto Tony’s hoodie, stashed it away and plotted to never give it back. Weeks after that, when it was time for them to move back to Queens, Peter stuffed the red, MIT hoodie into the very bottom of his suitcase.

He needed to take a little bit of home with him.

“Hey Pete,” said Tony. He was under a car as Peter rounded the corner and entered the garage. His greeting stopped him dead in his tracks and made him wonder how Tony knew it was him. “How was Europe?”

“Uh. It was okay.”

Peter walked further into the garage, and as he did, his eyes got caught on a blue hoodie that had been tossed over the back a chair by the worktable. He inched towards it, while Tony was preoccupied under the car.

“Just okay?” There was skepticism in his voice already, as if Tony sensed out his lie just as accurately as he sensed his arrival.

“I mean, it was fun,” said Peter. “But it was still for school, you know, so we had chaperones watching our every move.”

“Good.”

Tony didn’t need to know by chaperones Peter meant Nick Fury and his SHEILD friends. He didn’t need to know about the mission Fury had given him, or about Mysterio and their impromptu fight, which resulted not only in a very defeated illusionist, but also, in the destruction of the MIT hoodie he’d brought into battle with him.

Peter slid a hand over the blue hoodie on the chair and picked it up reading the Stark Industries logo printed across the front. He looked at Tony again, making sure he was still under the car, then slipped it on over his head and inhaled its scent. Home. It smelled like home. Like Tony.

“How’s MJ?”

That was another secret he needed to keep from Tony. Peter didn’t need him or anyone else in his family knowing someone else had figured out his secret identity. Tony worried about him enough already. Besides that, MJ was harmless. She wouldn’t out him, and she knew how to keep a secret, unlike Peter.

“She’s good.”

Tony rolled out from under the car, sudden and abrupt, and from the look on his face, Peter knew he was caught in something.

“I saw the strangest thing on the news,” said Tony. He grabbed a cloth from the worktable and began wiping grease and dirt off his hands as he advanced towards Peter. “Something about out of the ordinary weather occurrences, and oh yeah, what was it? A molten lava man terrorizing cities?”

“Oh,” said Peter. He played with the strings of the hoodie he was in the process of stealing. “That’s weird. The media’s really taking this whole fake news thing too far.”

“I suppose all those pictures of Spidey fighting the lave monster are photoshopped, then.”

“Yep. Has to be.”

Tony stared him down, with dead, no nonsense eyes that communicated to Peter that there was no use pretending. He gave a defeated sigh, and took a seat on the chair, wishing he had MJ’s sense of secrecy.

“So, I might have run into just a little bit of trouble in Europe.”

Tony continued to stare at him. “Normally you can’t wait to come and babble to me all your Spider-Man hijinks, never mind the heart attack they give me, so you wanna try explaining to me why this is a secret?”

There were too many reasons, and he didn’t want to share any of them with Tony. There was the multiverse the Avengers accidentally created by screwing around in the past, there was the very real need to protect Nick Fury from Tony’s wrath, and then there was Mysterio.

He’d tricked him, betrayed him, tried to kill him.

It wasn’t something he was ready to talk about, and if he were still keeping track of all the things that were different now, and all the things that were the same, he’d added betrayal to the lists of things that were true on both sides of the snap.

“What happened, Peter?” asked Tony, again, and this time, his arms were crossed.

The words flew from Peter’s mouth without his permission. Rambling was a second nature and spilling his guts while trying to protect a secret continued to be one of his deepest flaws. It didn’t help he was trying to hide it from Tony. He hated lying to him. Stealing his sweatshirts was fine, but lying, that hurt too much. It crossed a line.

Once Peter was finished not a detail of his trip was spared, and the garage got quiet. Tony simply blinked back at him, silent, and seemingly processing, until outrage twisted its way into every line on his face.

“Fury ruined your summer vacation.”

“It’s not like that – “

“-he put you in danger. You could’ve died.”

“I could die just walking to school in the morning.”

Tony’s expression turned harder, and Peter wondered what was wrong with him, wondered how he thought his latest statement would improve the situation. He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of saying all the wrong words.

“He needed me. The world was- “

“Is,” corrected Tony. “The world is always in danger. He could’ve found someone who’s not a teenage to help him.”

“Without you and Nat there really aren’t that many viable options.”

“Oh really? What about Thor?”

Peter shifted on his chair, feeling a sense of deja vu. “He’s still traveling around the galaxy with those dance-off guys.”

“Carol – “

“-probably has a more important crisis to solve,” said Peter. “Look, I’ve been through this whole list once before.”

The garage went quiet again, and Tony released a deep, loud breath. He pulled Peter off the chair by his arms, pulled him in for a hug, then kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You don’t have to worry about me so much,” said Peter. “I’m not that breakable.”

More wrong words, Peter knew, because Tony would never stop worrying. He’d literally broke apart into tiny dust particles in Tony’s arms.

Tony tightened his hug, then released. “Go play with your sisters.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Peter, but he had a feeling he knew. Tony already had his cellphone out of his pocket, and he imagined Nick Fury was about to get an earful. Part of Peter wanted to listen, and that he hadn’t just been order to go play with his – “Wait, what? Sisters? Did you adopt someone else?”

Tony didn’t answer. His phone was pressed up against his ear as he waved Peter away, telling him to get lost.

Peter left the garage, telling himself it had more to do with curiosity and his need to escape with his new hoodie unnoticed than it did the actual order.

He walked into the cabin through the front door and followed the noise to the living room, where Morgan and Nebula were sitting on the couch. Their eyes were glued to the screen, and Nintendo Switch controllers were locked in their hands. They were playing Mario Kart, and from the looks of it, Nebula was letting Morgan win.

She didn’t, however, let Peter win after he joined their game. They both battled hard. They both shouted at each other when the blue shells were deployed. A win by blue shell was a cheap win, and everyone knew that. They were in the middle of a close race when Tony walked into the living room and ordered FRIDAY to shut off the TV.

“I’ve been yelling that dinner is ready for ten minutes,” said Tony.

When they all sat around the dining room table, Peter had the nerve to look at Tony and ask, “How did your phone call go?”

“Very productive,” he told him, as he piled a mountain of broccoli on Morgan’s plate. She frowned at it, and at him. Tony moved on to slicing the ham at the center of the table. “Nick Fury isn’t allowed to talk to you unless he goes through me first.”

“Oh,” said Peter. Nebula capitalized the time Tony was distracted with the ham, and scrapped half of Morgan’s broccoli and dumped it onto her own plate. Morgan rewarded her with a grin. “Just until I’m eighteen, right?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Tony. “Until you’re eighteen.”

Somehow, Peter doubted he was being sincere.

Tony’s tennis shoes squeaked against the sparkling white floor of the new Avenger’s compound as he sped through the halls of the medical wing. The plastic bag he gripped was dripping drops of water everywhere, just like his hair dripped down the back of his neck onto the back of his shirt.

Outside, it was pouring. Inside, his kid was in a numbered room, hurt, lying on a hospital bed.

Tony needed to get to him.

He quickened his pace, separating himself further from Pepper and Morgan, who tried, only half-heartedly, to keep up with him.

“Tony, slow down,” said Pepper. Her voice was loud, echoed off the walls, even though her gritted teeth.

He kept going, at the same speed, and eventually his search led him to turn a corner, leaving Pepper and Morgan out of sight.

Tony watched the numbers on the closed doors get bigger and bigger as he continued through the halls, until he came to the door with numbers that matched the text message May had sent him.

The one that had Peter inside.

He paused with his hand on the doorknob, shut his eyes, and prepared himself for the awful sight of a broken kid, of his child bruised and bloody and unconscious, but when he finally willed himself to turn the knob and open his eyes, that wasn’t what he saw.

Peter was sitting up in his bed, smiling, surrounded by flowers and get well cards and presents. His arm was in a sling, his face was a little bit bruised and he had a bandage covering his forehead, but he was alert. He was fine. Better than fine, actually, by the looks of him.

“Oh, hey Tony,” said Peter, with a grin splitting his face.

Tony was still standing at the door, staring at him. “They said you were in a serious car accident.”

“I was.”

“They said you had a major surgery.”

“I did,” said Peter, with a shrug. “It’s over now.”

Over. Just like that. As if Tony didn’t just almost have his entire world yanked out from under him, again.

He took a breath and tried to let the panic leave his chest.

“I heal fast, remember? It’s a spider thing,” he told him. He grabbed the glass of apple juice from his bedside table and sipped on it through a straw. He looked up at Tony, then cringed. The smile left his lips. “The car’s totaled. I’m sorry, Tony, I know you worked really hard on it.”

“I don’t care about the stupid car,” he said, with an exhale. He left his panic and his anxiety by the door and walked over to sit in the chair next to Peter’s bed, holding up the wet, plastic bag as he went. “I brought you something.”

Hesitantly, Peter took the bag and looked inside. His smile came back, like a light in the dark, as he pulled a red, Iron Man hoodie away from the plastic.

“This is awesome,” said Peter. The plastic bag fell, forgotten, to the floor, while Peter struggled to put on the hoodie with his one good arm. When he had no success, he looked at Tony. “How… did you know to bring me this?”

“Kid,” said Tony. He knew Peter well enough to know what he was really asking, to know he was really asking if Tony knew about all the hoodies of his that had seemingly walked out of his home since Peter came back from dust. “You’re not sneaky.”

First, it’d been his MIT hoodie that never returned, then the SI hoodie that disappeared from the garage. It had become a pattern after that. Hoodies left out whenever Peter was around would inevitably become Peter’s. Once or twice, Tony left out a few on purpose.

“Sorry,” said Peter, but he didn’t sound very apologetic. “They just remind me of home. When I’m not there and I’m wearing one, it’s like I’m carrying a piece of home with me.” He paused, then looked away. “I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” said Tony.

If only Peter knew how much he lived for those words, those words that confirmed to him that he thought of the cabin by lake as home, and if only he knew how much he loved him, it’d be impossible for him to believe for a second Tony thought anything he had to say was stupid.

Peter offed Tony another, small, shaky smile. “Help me put it on.”

“Nope. Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“You’ll hurt your arm,” said Tony, as he gestured to his cast.

“I won’t. I promise,” said Peter. He gave him puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

Tony gave in and helped pull the hoodie over his head and down over the rest of his body. His casted arm stayed under the fabric, but he managed to get his good arm in the sleeve.

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Petey!”

Morgan zoomed into the room, leaving Pepper behind at the door, and jumped up onto Peter’s hospital bed. She tackle-hugged him.

“Be careful,” Pepper told her, but she wasn’t listening. She clung onto Peter, who hugged her back with his functional arm.

“It’s okay, Pep,” said Tony. “He seems to be the one made of iron.”

“And now I’ve got the hoodie to prove it.”

“Peter,” said Morgan. She let go of him, scooted backward and sat at the end of his bed. “Dad was so worried about you, then I was too, but mom said everything would be okay, because spiders have nine lives.”

Nine wasn’t enough. Three thousand wouldn’t be, either. Not for his kids. He didn’t say so out loud. If tonight taught him anything, it was that he could stand not to worry so much, especially it if was affecting Morgan.

They stayed with Peter for hours. It was long enough for him to tell them multiple different Spider-Man stories that made Morgan laugh, and that made Tony’s heart jump to his throat. It was long enough for Peter to wear himself out talking, and for Tony to discover that was, indeed, possible, and long enough for Peter to admit his arm was getting achy again.

Tony alerted a nurse, who gave Peter more pain meds, and ten minutes later, he was out cold, just like Tony knew he would be. Morgan was cuddled up next to him, also asleep. It was a miracle. Tony’s entire world fit just on that one, small hospital bed.

He brushed the hair back off Peter’s forehead. “I love you, kid.”

“Mmhmm,” said Peter, quiet, with his eyes closed, mostly asleep, but not as far gone as Tony had thought he was. “Like the sun.”

“The sun?”

“Sun’s the same, every morning,” said Peter.

On both sides of the snap.

Tony finished it for him, because he was sure that’s what he meant.

Peter and his lists of all the things that were different and everything that was the same. His search for everything and anything that could tether him to his life before Thanos snapped his fingers and took five years from him. Tony could be that for Peter. His anchor, and his home.

Tony watched Peter’s chest move up and down, watched breath moving out and in, to remind himself that Peter could breathe. He dabbed his eyes with his thumb, then spread a blanket over his kids, so they wouldn’t get cold.

#irondad #fanfic #peter parker #tony stark #irondad bingo #irondad and spiderson

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