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i bought a fucking blues clues blind box collectable figure off ebay JDHFHHDGEGS she is glittery

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hypothetically other people (SOME people apparently) do actually recover. hypothetically some people benefit from therapy and actually heal and learn useful shit and walk out of their appointments feeling and doing better than when they walked in. in theory. some people benefit from crisis hospitalisation to prevent them from harming thenselves. i guess.

somebody somewhere has gone through mental health treatment and ended up on the other side living a better life. good for them.

i aint that person though. im fucking tired. i ate too much carbs too fast maybe.

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what am i supposed to do lol. the Mental Health Professionals just want me to stay alive no matter the cost to my eternal soul and spirit but im not interested in that. I want to heal for real but the therapists … well you know how it is. “Recovery” has been excrutiating and has ended up giving me triple the ptsd due to the bullshit and abuse i have endured by ppl whos job it was to help me heal. you know how it is. what else am i supposed to do except die or continue to wade through bulkshit and misery.

not interested in people’s “it gets better"s cause really they cannot guarantee me a fuck of a shit and i suspect they say that to make themselves feel better about my situation. ive wanted those betters for almost the whole time ive been alive but no one can promise me anything.

i dont want to die. dying is fucking hard as hell and im tored of doing shit thats hard. but life is hard as hell. at least if i killed myself it’d just be hard as hell the once and then hypothetically peace, butwith life? well

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my psych said she would look into ketamine (nasal spray treatment) for me. thats supposed to be another mkracle cure i guess like TMS was supposed to be LOL laughing my ass off bitterly while crying and thinking about the bliss of death (lmaobwcatatbod)

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Meet my Pokémon persona, Veevee. She’s Jazz’s owner and runs a Pokémon sanctuary.

I’m officially roped into making this a series, because I’m addicted to Pokémon now, and I wanna be like all the other people who have Mewtwo series out there

So expect more comics like these

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You’re made of star dust baby ✨

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I SWEAR MEW IS THE SWEETEST HUMAN ANGEL

SHE IS SO CUTE I’LL DIE FJMTKRKEKLA

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Yelling for the dog to keep the cat off the stove gets no response from the (supposedly herding breed) dog, but it does shame the cat into slinking away for the time being, so I guess net positive?

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Lookir what daddy got me!! ❤❤❤

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life is fucking hard and im unhappy but i did some good stuff today. cleaned some and downloaded and read some manga so thats cool. ate some bagels.

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Yeshua: “Plus, Dren doesn’t expect to have kids in the future. She’s told me many Mewtwo are actually infertile due to the mess of their DNA and stuff…

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Yeshua: “…Buuuuut if we end up still together in the future, I can always carry if that’s what she wants!”

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i want smoke… iwantalkohol i want  love i wat rtjirirtiurtu5ziji

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i dont think anyone but me and God have any right to decide if i live or die. but especially if i live. being alive is not inherently positive or good. its just being alive. thats all. being dead is not inherently negative or bad. its jist being dead. we dont have to assign giod kr bad judgements to everything.

most ppl have an instinct to stay alive, to avoid death, so fine. my instinct is to kill myself. its a shame that life hurts so much and death seems my best option, but it is what it is. it just be like that. just like other people have the right to avoid death, i have a right to welcome death. its my life and my choice. period.

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getting shoved sideways i to the psych ward everytime im a little more frank about my desire to fucking die is Old As Shit and it is a huge factor in me deciding not to go back to group therapy! and it is a huge violation of my trust.

jut because i am ~alive~ by the psychiatrists standards does not mean i am better off. and you can take that to custom ink dot come and make me a different colored t shirt for every day of the week. god bless america.

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fuck the shut up about weight loss and fat burners and noom and secret i gredients for your metabolism and WW and slimfarts amd nutrishitstem just shut up and stop showing me ads

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