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ickymichi · 3 years

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𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑

various haikyuu boys x reader

<3 includes: iwaizumi hajime, miya osamu, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro, kuroo tetsurou

<3 things to know: set in the timeskip

<3 warnings: swearing

<3 note: i should be writing more important things, but they can wait. REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED <3 <3

𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐣𝐢��𝐞

.: you better pray mf will make you a victim.

.: his car is his pride and joy pls.

.: this how it go:

“remember 9:00 tomorrow nice n’ early” iwaizumi told you while leaning across the console. “I know haji, I know. I gotta go love you!” “love yo-” mf didn’t even get to finish the sentence just got faced with you slamming the door with all your might. “OI! (Y/N)!” you quickly turn around to see him in the same position but his facial expressions make it look like he’s about to commit arson. He ushers you back with a flick of his head and rolls down the passenger window. “open the door and close it again” You look at him confused but do what he says anyways, again slamming it. “PROPERLY THE FUCK?!” “I am doing it properly!” “NO YOURE FUCKING SLAMMING IT!” boy looked like he was about to flip the lid so you had to cave in and tell him it was a prank. Was not a happy camper and drove off with his middle finger out the window. But after texted you saying he loves u 🥺

𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

.: my baby pls.

.: he had a long ass day at work and is just trying to get to his bed.

.: so when he tries to tell you goodbye love you blah blah and is met with a slam of his car door he Is literally like 🧍‍♀‍ tf?.

When you slammed the door and walked away trying not to burst out laughing the sound of his voice calling your name made you turn to face him face him. He rolled down his window to stick his head out and was like “are you okay?”pls someone my heart. “yeah i’m fine, why?” you ask tight lipped and holding back laughter. “I dunno, ya just slammed the daylights outta my door. Thought somethin’ might be wrong” you literally couldn’t hold back anymore, had to take him out of his misery. “‘m sorry ‘samu i was just pranking you, but you were too sweet I couldn’t keep going.” To your surprise he started laughing with you and thought it was pretty funny.

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐢

.: this could go two ways really.

.: if it’s you that does it he’s like hey now don’t hurt the goods.

.: if it’s one of the boys, they catching multiple of his fists

.: wait okay setting!! Mf sitting with one arm across the wheel, yk that seggsy thing ppl do? Yeah that. N the other elbow on the console his fist holding up his head . Okay setting finish.

“So you coming over later yeah?” he asked watching you gather your things to leave. “of course, just-” “yes makki is at work don’t worry, we’ll be alone” he butt in already knowing what you’d say. “okay then i’ll see you then love you!” “yep love you to-” you literally slammed it as hard a you could and walked off. Not hearing a reaction you look back and see him sitting leant over the console as he was waiting for a little goodbye kiss and was met with the slam of the door. He rolled down your window and asked, “how cruel of you to leave me without a kiss and slam my door.” You held back a laugh and opened back up the door to place a peck on his lips and shuffled back out, once again slamming the door. “(y/n)” you heard him through the open window. He now had a serious look on his face and was staring right at you. “watch it yeah? Know your all strong but don’t want you breaking my poor baby.”

𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

.: this fucker is about to be facing my slander once again😭

.: I love him I swear I do

.: but if you try slam is door there’s a very high chance shit is just gonna fall off.

.: would get so heated cause he knows it’s falling apart and it’s not cheap to fix.

He had parked up outside mcdonald’s and you said you’d go in to get the food, after a small bit of bickering from him. “be careful yeah? Just call me if some weirdo tries anything, these aren’t just for show baby.” He told you while flexing his biceps and kissing each one. You laughed at his silly antics and pushed the door open to get out. You swung your arm back and used as much force as you could to slam the door. The scream he let out could probably be heard from inside the restaurant as well as your laughter that you just couldn’t contain. “the fuck was that for?!” he shouted in distress while getting out to check if there was any serious or even minor damage. “what are you on about? I didn’t do anything” you argued and watched him bent down and inspected the car. Whipping his head to where you stood above him he let out a noise of disbelief “didn’t do anything?! You nearly took the fucking thing off the hinges!” he shouted again and stood back up with a hand on his forehead. “one of these days I swear, your gonna give me a heart attack.”

𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐮

.: pls do not slam his car door, for your own sake.

.: he will drop dead on the spot

.: you don’t think his ass wouldn’t own a sports car with all that bank?

.: think again my friend.

He was dropping you off at work after you went to lunch with him for your break. “alright, see you when i’m picking you up yeah?” he said parking the car outside the building. “mmhh i’ll see you then tetsu, love you.” Kissing his cheek and stepping out of the car slamming it on your way. at first he couldn’t even shout or call you out his face and heart just dropped on the spot. “hey hey hey (y/n)! get back here!” he shouted and unbuckled his seatbelt for some reason. “what’s wrong did I forget something?” you asked faking your innocence to the distressed man while opening the door again. “yeah you forgot this costs more then the fucking house, careful with the door okay?” “oh yeah sorry, okay then i’ve to go!” you quickly responded and once again, slammed the door before quickly walking off while laughing. He rolled down his window and stuck his head out while yelling out to you, “your fucking getting it when I pick you up!”

-end <3

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biqherosix · 3 years

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hiiiiiiiiii do u write for the drgaon prince ??????????????????????? it’s totally not el spamming you again bc you deserve your ezran/callum x sister reader even if i’ll give it to you too

the secret life of katolis royalty - headcanons

prompt(s): the royal family uphold a proper, good reputation. but with you and your siblings, there are always bound to be a few secrets whether they're silly or not

pairing(s): familial! callum x fem! reader x ezran

fandom(s): the dragon prince

genre(s): fluff

warning(s): none (if there are, please feel free to point them out!)

other notes: hi el 🙄 anyway yes i write for dragon prince now because there is a lack of content in this fandom, especially for the royal siblings ! i want platonic goodness, and i'm getting it even if i have to make it myself. enjoy :) also reader may possibly be bi?? can be interpreted as whatever you'd like though !

- so you're three years older than callum, making you at least seven when ezran is born

- you're so protective, no doubt about it

- and callum doesn't mind because you're not overbearing (if anything callum is more protective of you and ezran than you are of your brothers)

- which is why callum never finds out about your little things with both soren and claudia (more like a kiss with claudia, dating soren, and then breaking up with soren to try shit out with claudia; spoiler alert you kinda miss soren as much as you love your magical perky girl)

- another reason is that cal has such a major crush on claudia before meeting rayla and you don't want him to feel bad upon finding out

- but let's be honest ezran finds out because he walked in on you making out with soren after exiting a secret tunnel

- ezran gossips with you more than you both like to admit because of this huge secret only the two of you now know

- but it brought you two closer and he's really happy about that because now he gets to cuddle into your side while he asks questions and spills the beans while you play with his hair lmao

- yk sometimes you even shit talk callum and his sword fighting and that definitely stays between the two of you (he always wonders why you two are giggling under the tree whenever he plays around with soren)

- but you love your brothers and they love you so !! freaking !! much !!

- y'all are attached to the hip, you can't be seen without one or the other

- most of the time it's your brothers doing your thing and brushing up your knowledge on royal etiquette because a part of you is anxious whenever your father talks about his royal wrongdoings

- he doesn't mean to worry you, he just wants you to be prepared (you were in fact, worried and unprepared when he died and you now had three mf children and a dragon egg to take care of)

- don't worry though because callum and ezran are here to save the day and will tell you how amazing you are for hours, it honestly passes the time very well

- okay but i gotta get this outta the way before i forget but callum is the epitome of the "you're doing amazing sweetie!" meme okay?? he is

- where he succeeds (magic, art, being awkward) you on the other hand lack and vice versa (you are badass okay? you can fight and spar properly thanks to your mother's extensive knowledge and even without a weapon you can pack a punch)

- rayla doesn't really understand how callum can be so happy and perky even when you suck at what you're doing

- but he's your baby brother and he loves hyping you up

- callum is your biggest hypeman and always has been it's a second nature to him, trust me if someone were to mention your name he'd never shut up !!

- like this one time you drew rayla and callum on a spare piece of paper callum gave you and it didn't really turn out the best but he still fake cried and attacked you in a hug

- he keeps it in his sketchbook and he's never letting that go, so rayla jokingly judges him for it and your boy ezran backs you up with callum

- "i don't see why you keep it, i mean it doesn't even look like us! we're like lil' stick figures" "art is contemporary, rayla. it can be anything you want it to be! isn't that right zym?" "ez is right, plus it doesn't look that bad! it's cute. look, she even drew me doing magic! her markings are so accurate" "callum, i don't even know what spell you're doing" "it's clearly aspiro! look at the wind" "they're lines!" "that's what art is all about!"

- baby gets so nervous when he and rayla kiss bc he obviously has to tell you and your opinion matters most to him; he's just scared bc rayla always teases you and you may not approve

- so he kept it a secret for a fat minute after telling ezran, ez is so annoyed bc he has to keep your soren secret and callum's??? at least bait and zym are there to listen (man relationships are hard)

- you just laugh because you saw it coming and the moment is just so wholesome !! you tackle rayla into a hug, welcoming her into the family with "bad drawings and all" bc she never lets you live it down fr fr

- but later that night callum can't sleep and he lets out everything because he never really told you about his crush in the first place like he feels really guilty because you're always so open with him and sometimes he has some walls up, like how he was with king harrow even if you're his biological sibling

- also you bet on your life that you would do anything to make sure callum was content with his life and so after his lil rant and your assurance he asks if you've ever felt that way before

- and you had to do it to em, so you tell him about soren and claudia

- "why didn't you tell me anything before?" "you liked claudia! i didn't want to be the reason for your heartache" "but you're my sister, you deserve to be happy. maybe you and soren can work out" "eh, we'll see. not gonna lie i was ready to go back for him after he almost killed that dragon. he looked pretty hurt but you looked way worse honestly" "hey! you're making my heart hurt here y/n." "that doesn't count because it was playful!"

- you end up going to sleep that night leaning on each other because that's what you've been doing all your life — leaning on each other and you don't want him to forget that !!!

- you also wake up the next morning with ezran in between you sleeping soundly, and rayla comes back to the three of you making funny faces and laughing like there was no tomorrow

- she didn't get it but the three of you did, it was a simple moment that you would all cherish even after ezran becomes king — perhaps it even makes you better as royals

- and from then on, there were no secrets, just a family trying to piece themselves together again after so much tragedy

#dragon prince #dragon prince imagine #tdp x reader #tdp imagine #the dragon prince #dragon prince x reader #prince callum #prince ezran #human rayla #tpd rayla #tdp callum #tdp ezran #tdp soren #tdp claudia #tdp harrow #soren x reader #callum x reader #daniza's fave characters are paying rent

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bottomlwjrights · 4 years

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MO DAO ZU SHI REREAD:Thoughts™️....and Stuff

Chapter 40

“They should’ve been able to talk, to say who they were, to shout for help. However, the awful thing was that somebody had cut all of their tongues off before this.” In case i havent said it enough, i hate Xue Yang!!!!

I dont have anything funny or witty to say, this whole situation is just sad

“She instinctively hated him and refused to settle. And so, whenever Xue Yang went out night-hunting with Xiao XingChen, she’d secretly follow them. Even when they were in the same house, she didn’t lower her guard.” She lived constantly on guard for, what, years?

Nobody told xxc stories when he was a kid, which I believe to be a crime

The first disciple to leave the mountain, YanLing DaoRen, was an excellent and renowned cultivator, but suddenly became a villian for some unknown reason and died under thousands of swords, according to xxc (parallels wwx a little)

“‘The second disciple was a girl and also very outstanding.’ Wei WuXian’s chest felt warm. She was ZangSe SanRen.” 🥺

“How would an outstanding and beautiful cultivator settle on a servant. This story’s so cliche. It’s probably made up by some poor scholar.” Oh little A-Qing... (wait this mirrors lwj and wwx’s love story, except of course the death part, because in my eyes they just cultivate to immortality and live happily ever after, together forever)

Shut up, wwx, you’re not a villain

Xxc describing sl makes me uuuh wanna cry “A very good friend of mine.” “A sincere man of noble nature.”

Shut the fuck up Xue Yang, no body cares

SHUT UP XXC CARRIED A-QING TO BED THATS ADORABLE 🥺 BIG BRO XINGCHEN EVEN TUCKED HER IN

Shut up!!!! He went and got her candy!!!! And then gave her candy everyday!!!!

Sl said to A-Qing the exact same the xxc said to her, like almost word for word... hold i...

Also note that wwx said they must have been very good friends to be so much alike

Why did he hesitate???

“Song Lan answered straight away, ‘His height is similar to mine. His appearance is rather fine. His sword is carved with patterns of frost.’” Dont ask why this drove me crazy

Sl was looking for xxc for years....

“For some reason, Song Lan’s face was extremely pale. He stared at the door of the coffin home, as if he would rush inside if he could, but was too scared to do so.”

“The instant he heard the [xxc’s] voice, Song Lan’s hands trembled so much that A-Qing could clearly see it.”

Sl was so angry his entire body was shaking

Xy is disgusting

After the attack of Baixue temple, while injured, sl said some nasty things to xxc....sounds alot like the aftermath of Nightless City....

“Who was the one who said ‘from now on, we won’t need to meet again’? Wasn’t it you, Daozhang Song? He listened to your request and disappeared after he dug out his eyes for you, but why have you come to him now?” Shut up shut up shut up

Fuck Xue Yang!!!!

“Song Lan looked down at Shuanghua’s blade, which penetrated his heart, then slowly looked up again. He saw Xiao XingChen, who calmly held the sword.” Im gonna cry

“Slowly, Song Lan fell to his knees before Xiao XingChen.” Yup im crying

“At such a time, if Song Lan passed his sword to Xiao XingChen’s hands, Xiao XingChen would’ve immediately known who he was. He’d be able to recognize the sword of his closest friend with just a touch.” He would have known sl’s sword by just a touch....

Sl didnt pass his sword to xxc so that he didnt have to bear the burden of knowing he killed him.....

“...large drops of tears rolled from her eyes. Although she was scared, A-Qing reached out to close Song Lan’s eyes. She then kneeled in front of him and put her palms together, ‘Daozhang, please don’t blame me or the other daozhang.’”

She kowtowed in front of sl’s body....

A-Qing is smart and quick witted, pulling such a fast lie like that

“Cut a few dozens of times on her face so that she’ll never have the guts to go outside again.” 😧

How xy can say something like that and then offer up a plate of bunny shaped apple slices that he cut himself is beyond me

“Looking at the plate of cute, delicate slices, disgust filled both A-Qing’s and Wei WuXian’s hearts.” Yeah me too

(Chapter 41 & Chapter 42 below the cut)

Chapter 41

A-Qing didnt wanna tell xxc about sl...

“The blood grew more and more and eventually leaked through the bandages, trickling down from where his eyes once were.” God he’s crying ....

“Originally, the injury of his eyes would bleed whenever he had excessive thoughts or emotions, but it hadn’t recurred in quite a long while.” I hate this

“...after Xiao XingChen managed to calm down, he told A-Qing, ‘A-Qing, run away.’” I hate this so much

“I can’t go. I need to find out what exactly he’s trying to do...If I left him here alone, I’m afraid that the people of Yi City would sink into his hands.” Y’all gotta stop with this selfless,self sacrificing, being a good caring person shit man, its okay to save yourselves sometimes

“A-Qing’s sobs weren’t faked anymore. She tossed the bamboo pole to the side and clung to Xiao XingChen’s leg...”

“Xiao XingChen asked coldly, ‘Was it fun?’ Xue Yang took another bite into the apple that was still in his hand. He only replied after calmly chewing for a while and swallowing the fruit, ‘Yes. Of course it was fun.’” I hate him

Even the idea that xy did all this because he was bored...

“My finger was my own, while those lives were other peoples’. They wouldn’t be equal no matter how many lives I killed. It was only around fifty. How could it have possibly been equal to one of my fingers?” I cannot even begin to express my disgust...

This is all so sad....

“… Is that you, ZiChen?”

“Even if the two swords had just clashed, Xiao XingChen should be able to tell who the other was from only the strength of the attack...He turned around slowly and reached out a quivering hand, feeling for the blade of Song Lan’s sword.”

“… ZiChen… Daozhang Song… Daozhang Song… Is that you…?” Im crying again

And he’s crying nonstop

“… What happened…? Say something…”

“Xiao XingChen stood blankly in front of Song Lan. Putting his hands on his head, he wailed as though he was ripping his chest apart.” I cant handle this shit im about to stop reading

Fuck you, Xue Yang

“At this moment, Wei WuXian saw himself in Xiao XingChen. Him, who failed miserably as he stood drenched in blood, who couldn’t do anything except silently acknowledge the critiques and accusations, who was wholly beyond hope, who could only cry in despair!” Yeah i didnt need that in the middle of all this

“He could only whimper in pain, ‘Please. Let me go.’” Im really going through it

They all died in such horrific ways

Thank goodness thats over!!!!

Chapter 42

Wwx really implied that xy killed Chang Ping as revenge for xxc huh....wow no

Even in death, A-Qing is brave. Thank you for your contribution in ending that mf

Lwj cuts off xy’s arm when he reaches towards wwx

There was so much blood on the ground that wwx almost slipped in it, gross

Lmao i didnt think lwj would be the one to just toss a pouch to someone but here we are

Wn just squatting on the ground, chillin

Okay yanno what im still confused as hell as to why the juniors were lead to yi city...

God that makes me so angry, Xue Yang keeping the piece of candy for years and holding onto it when he died, like even the idea that he liked xxc and still decided to torture him to death good lord

“Lifting up the hem of his robes, Lan WangJi stepped over the high threshold in an elegant manner, then nodded.” Wwx just looks at lwj do literally anything and is just like “he’s so elegant 😍 so graceful 🥰 look at my lan zhan, so pretty 🥰😍🥰”

“When he wakes, say I’m sorry, it wasn’t your fault.” Wow....

“He still wore the dark cultivation robes. Standing alone, he carried two swords, Shuanghua and Fuxue, he brought two souls, Xiao XingChen and A-Qing, and walked another path.” Wow.... i wish for you the best, Song Lan

Lsz standing and wondering if xxc and sl would ever meet again....

I agree with jl, death is too light of a punishment for xy

Lmfnck ljy cried the loudest out of everyone sjnckck

The juniors light incense and burning paper money for them 🥺 they’re so sweet

ItS nOt lIkE yOuVE DiEd HoW wOuLd YoU KnOw iF DeaD pEoPle ReCiEve PaPeR MonEY

PLEASE WATCH YOUR MOUTH JINGYI

“How come? Was I really that much of a failure? Was there not a single person who burned paper money for me? Was it really because nobody burned them that I didn’t receive any?” STOOOOOP

“Looking at his calm face, Wei WuXian thought to himself, Really? Had he really not burnt anything?!” Okay i don’t remember if he actually did or not but nonetheless this shit hurted

The hunter was probably the same person who lead them together to yi city with the corpses, BUT WHY THO

Awwww wwx happy to see Lil Apple

Stop teasing jl, wwx, its not nice

Even though the lookout towers are a good idea, and benefit smaller more remote towns, i cant help but wonder if there was some kind of ulterior motive behind them

“Almost all of the dishes were covered in red. Paying attention to Lan WangJi’s chopsticks, he notes that he ate mostly from the milder dishes, rarely the bright-red ones. Even when he did, his expression remained the exact same. Wei WuXian felt something tug at his heart.” uGGgGgGHhHhH

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ks-caster · 4 years

Text

May 8th, 2019

Fandom(s): The Vampire Diaries, The Originals

Characters: Caroline, Klaus, Marcel

Premise: Klaus has been pain-daggered in Marcel’s keeping (see end of TO season 3) and meanwhile all is not well in the magical world. Upheavals in leadership make new potential Big Bads overconfident, and Marcel is too busy sitting on his laurels in NOLA to be of much use as a deterrent. After the deaths of many of our MF peeps, Caroline leaves her ghosts behind to work for the new supernatural division of the FBI. She is fitted out with the ability to time travel (who better to experiment on, since she’s immortal and if she goes too far back and runs out of battery she can just wait until it’s the right time again.)

Summary: “This is the field record of Time Agent Caroline Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, and it has been May 8th for over six months now. Today marks my 188th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson from Marcel Gerard. I’m betting it ends with death by mega-hybrid bite. Not really feeling too optimistic.”

Before:

Everybody from the Mystic Gang basically dies—the few who survive are rebuilding their lives together, but Caroline can’t stand the constant reminders of everyone she’s lost. She gets a job with a Hephaestus, the FBI’s new “Special” R&D department. They’re using a combination of futuristic science and black magic to create agents who can time travel, appropriately called “Time Agents.” Caroline becomes a Time Agent prototype, and does extremely well for herself at the agency, but isn’t very personable at all.

Caroline runs into Hayley and Hope May 1st, 2019, and Hayley tells her what’s been happening. Caroline had assumed that Klaus was in hiding with his family, giving his daughter a normal-ish childhood. She puts Hayley in contact with Hephaestus, to try to find a way to cure Kol and Elijah. Part of why the FBI needs Hephaestus in the first place is because the supernatural world went pretty crazy after the Originals left. Vampires and Witches used to prioritize keeping a low profile, but ever since Marcel Gerard took charge, they’ve been run ragged trying to keep the humans safe. Caroline tells her bosses that the Mikaelsons were once the ones who kept everyone in check, and they’re the only ones with a hope of taking down Marcel. Hephaestus confers and then decides to help. Ultimately, they realize that the best way to cure Elijah and Finn is to actually use Klaus’s venom to burn away the venom in their bodies, then cure it once all that’s left is something they can cure. But for that, they need Klaus. They make plans to do basically a big group suicide mission to rescue him, but Caroline goes in alone the day before they’re supposed to attack—May 8th, at 9am.

Day 1: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:06am, and this will be my first attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana.

She enters NOLA, learns where Marcel lives, tries to sneak in the back door, trips an alarm, is captured, goes through Marcel’s famous mockery of a trial, and publically beheaded.

Day 2: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:01am, and this will be my second attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday was completely unsuccessful—I was captured attempting to sneak into Marcel’s private residence, tried—if you can call it that—and publically beheaded. Today I’ll avoid tripping the motion alarm on the back door.”

Caroline tries to sneak in through an upstairs window, and is caught by the two witches who work for Marcel. They turn off the spell on her daylight ring, trap her in the sunlight, and she burns to death.

Day 3: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:07am, and this will be my third attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday’s attempt ended in another lethal failure—Marcel has two witches working for him, and when I attempted to enter the house through a third floor window, they deactivated my daylight ring and I burned to death.”

Caroline gets in by a different window than the room where the witches work, but is eventually caught by Marcel. He bites her, but then leaves her to die. She is able to explore his house a little more, and concludes that Klaus isn’t there, before succumbing to the pain.

Day 4: “Field record of Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 2019, 9:02am. This will be my fourth attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from New Orleans. Yesterday I made an important discovery—do not let Marcel bite you ever again. His venom is not only more deadly than Klaus’s, it’s also a lot more painful. However, since he left me alone to die, I had a chance to explore his house a little. I don’t think Klaus is there. Today I’ll focus on finding out where he’s being kept. Hopefully it’s nowhere near Marcel. I don’t really want to repeat that experience.”

Day 25: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:16am. This will be my twenty-fifth attempt to extract Klaus Mikaelson from imprisonment in New Orleans, Louisiana. Yesterday I learned that he’s not at (place). Over the last two weeks I’ve managed to cross off (list of places), so today I’m going to get a witch to do a locator spell, even though I know Marcel will find and kill me. This will probably be the third time I’ve died from nasty juiced-up hybrid bite. Really not looking forward to this.”

Day 38: “Time Agent Forbes, field record, May 8th, 2019. The time is exactly 9:00am, and this will be my 38th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. Yesterday I learned that Klaus is being kept somewhere in or around the old witch graveyard in the French Quarter. I also learned that pretty much every witch in New Orleans is on Marcel’s payroll, except for Vincent Griffith, who won’t help me, no matter what I do or say. Today I’m going to play innocent, get a bunch of flowers, lay them on a grave, and see if I can pinpoint his exact location.”

Day 42: “This is the field record of Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, the time is 9:19am, and this will be my forty-second attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. Yesterday I finally managed to find him—he’s bricked into a tomb. I also discovered that nobody looks twice at a pretty blonde laying flowers on graves; three days in a row and the most suspicion I got was from the florist when I knew her prices by heart. Today I’m going to try and subtly get him out.”

Day 43: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 2019, 9:02am, and this will be my 43rd attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. So, it turns out, there’s a spell on the tomb that alerts Marcel to any supernatural tampering. I got venom’d to death. Again. Today I’m going to try and compel a human to open the tomb for me.”

Day 68: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:13am, and this will be my 68th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. After many unsuccessful attempts, I have discovered that the perfect formula for getting Klaus out of the tomb is to compel Jacob Woolworth from Home Depot to come and rip out the mortar, after calling the police with a fake bomb threat so that they clear the area around Marcel’s house, and waste his time trying to get him to evacuate. This ensures that he will basically stay put because he thinks someone is trying really hard to get him to leave. Today’s project is finding out what’s wrong with Klaus—he’s catatonic.”

Day 76: “May 8th, Time Agent Forbes 9:00am, if Klaus doesn’t kill this Marcel guy immediately after I rescue him, so help me God I’m coming back to do it myself. Ahem. Today will be my 76th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson. I’ve learned that he has a black magic dagger of unspeakable torture embedded in his chest. To get it out, I have to touch him—humans can’t even seem to find it, and I waste precious time directing them. That means I’m not going to have much time before the alarms go off and I have Marcel and all his minions on my ass. Not really feeling very optimistic about today. Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is die-of-Marcel-poison day.”

Day 87: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:25am, and this will be my 87th attempt to rescue Klaus Mikaelson I don’t think there’s any way around it—I’m going to have to learn how to fight Marcel.”

Day 99: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:04am, and this will be my 99th attempt to rescue Klaus. Basically, I definitely can’t fight Marcel. Day 71 is still my record survival time at one minute and eight seconds—and I definitely wouldn’t have been in any condition to rescue anybody after about half of that.”

Day 100: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:11am, and this will be my hundredth attempt to rescue Klaus. Milestone day here.

Day 123: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:11am, and this will be my 123rd attempt to rescue Klaus. Marcel (analyze fighting style). I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it was definitely a good thing Agent Hanes made me go through basic training. I survived a total of one minute and twelve seconds, and other than the part where he ripped my heart out of my chest, I was in pretty good condition by the end. I’m getting there. It’s not easy, it’s not fast, it’s not even going very well, but it’s going. Klaus, you seriously owe me one when this is all over. Or, like, ten. At least. Seriously. Today I gotta avoid Marcel’s left hand when I go to kick his kneecap.”

Day 145: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 2019, 9:05am, and this will be my 145th attempt to rescue Klaus. As long as I can mess with Marcel’s senses enough and remember his moves, I can beat him. He’s not very creative—he relies heavily on his enhanced abilities, so things like joint locks and sensory confusion are highly effective. I can simulate more strength than I have by using leverage and momentum. Today’s all about simplifying that fight—I can’t waste all my energy fighting Marcel when his minions will arrive thirty seconds after his defeat.”

Day 178: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 9:09am, and this will be my 178th attempt to save Klaus. Okay, so far I can beat Marcel, then either un-brick Klaus or fight off the four vampires who show up at exactly 4:11:26. I need to speed up the Marcel fight somehow, but keeping him down long enough to escape is proving difficult. Today also marks my hundredth time dying from his venom. I really, really want a day off at this point.”

Day 203: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It is May 8th, 9:06am, and this will be my 203rd attempt to save Klaus. So, I figured out how lure the minions in before Marcel, so I can fight all of them, then un-brick Klaus, but then I don’t have as much energy left to fight Marcel. Even if he doesn’t remember it, I’m finding it harder every day to watch Klaus’s face when he comes around only to watch me die. To be honest… after everything that went down in Mystic Falls, after I lost everyone… I had kind of convinced myself that there was no one left in the world who cared if I lived or died. I was wrong—and that hurts more than I could have imagined. …I’m going to get you out of there, Klaus.”

Day 235: “This is Time Agent Forbes. It’s May 8th, 9:08am, and this will be my 235th attempt to save Klaus. So, if I have the Marcel fight in his house, the minions don’t realize I’m in the graveyard, and they go to help Marcel instead of catching me. But then by the time I get Klaus out, they’re all on me at once, and I die. No matter what I do to distract whoever I can, the fewest opponents I can get is this combination of Marcel and these four.”

Day 273: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 273rd attempt to save Klaus. Okay… so if I pull the dagger of doom out of Klaus and then turn and throw it, I totally miss Marcel every time. But I’ve only tried three times so far, and practice makes perfect, right?”

Day 300: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 300th attempt to save Klaus. Okay. We can do this. And by “we” I mean me. And by “I can do this” I mean I might need someone to save me next—because I totally cannot do this. I can’t… I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired. So very, very tired. I just don’t see how I can win this. I don’t… I just…. (sighs, breathes.) I’m going to drive my f*cking car through Marcel’s front door and just skip today. Who knows—maybe that’ll help.”

Day 340: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:12am, 340th attempt to save Klaus. I can now throw the dagger straight every time. What I can’t do is fight off all four vamp minions and get Klaus from the tomb to my car in one piece before Marcel gets the dagger out of him. I am really, really tired of dying from super-venom. It hurts. A lot.”

Day 386: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 386th attempt to save Klaus. I’m getting pretty good at fighting a bunch of opponents at once. I get about two minutes ant twelve seconds from the time the dagger makes contact with Marcel to the time he gets it out of him and bites me. In that time, I can take down all four minions and get Klaus almost all the way to the graveyard entrance. I wish I had another dagger… I just need one more thing to keep Marcel off of me so I can get Klaus to the car.”

Day 408: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 408th shot at saving Klaus. So, stuffing an explosive into Marcel’s chest when he comes after me for round three just gets me blown sky high too, no matter how I time it. I’m just not strong enough after everything I have to do today to carry Klaus and get outside of the blast radius. I’ve been revenge-tortured to death a total of forty of these attempts so far, and the explosive gets me into that position every time. I really, really hate this. I need a vacation. A long one.”

Day 437: “Time Agent Forbes, May 8th, 9:14am, 437th attempt to save Klaus. I finally found the perfect set of arguments to convince Vincent Griffith to make me a paralytic ash spell to use on Marcel. Here goes nothing.”

Day 437b: “Agent Forbes, May 9th, 1:56am. I have successfully retrieved Klaus.”

After: Klaus slowly comes around in the front seat of Caroline’s car. She’s driving at breakneck speed down the highway, and there are cars after them. She calls for a ride, and a hover-jet flies down in front of a pier, which she drives off, right onto the loading ramp, which they’ve opened. She pulls the emergency break and only hits the interior wall a little. She helps him out of the car, and then hands him off to Hephaestus’s medical team. Klaus is weak and exhausted, has little choice but to basically let them do what they want.

Klaus wakes up in a hospital-type bed with Hayley next to him. She explains where they are and why Hephaestus is working with them, and says they’re trying to find a cure for Elijah and Kol, and for Freya. She then lets Hope in to see her dad, and they have an adorable scene of awesomeness.

Later, Klaus asks how he got out—thinking he dreamed up Caroline in the car—and Hayley tells him that Caroline works for Hephaestus and that she went out two days ago with no explanation other than a note with instructions about where to pick her up. She says that Caroline is really different—everyone says she’s like a machine, and she does seem pretty detached, but not switched off; not as liberated as that. She seemed broken and grieving and hard. But somehow she had the skills to rescue Klaus in one day. She shows him some traffic camera footage of one of the fights with Marcel. She says that the most expression she’s seen on her face in the week they’ve been here was the triumph when she drove up with him in the car.

Caroline’s coworkers also ask who the hell Klaus is that she cares so much about him—they say she jumped 437 times, and the record is 182—and that wasn’t dying every day, that was potentially world-ending consequences, AND the agent needed years of extreme therapy afterwards, and tendered his resignation. “You must be really something, if the Ice Queen cares enough about you to go through all that.” Klaus is horrified by everyone’s descriptions of Caroline, but she confirms that a lot has changed in the time he’s been gone. He begins to try and bring her back, and eventually she admits that everyone died and she lived.

#Beth's New Year's Cleaning Queue #free to a good home #Any and all parts available for general use with credit #fanfic #fanfiction #the vampire diaries #the originals #klaroline #writing #writing ideas #tw death #I mean she come back #but she does die a bunch

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ecotone99 · 4 years

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[MF] Fever From The Orient

His name was Matthew and he smelled of shit. He hadn't showered in 2 weeks, his crotch smelled like a combination of wet dog and rotten meat. The grease down there was thick and smelly, he reached his hands down there, wiped up as much as he could then ran his long, thin fingers through his filthy jet black hair, slicking it back. The film that developed on his inner thighs was so sticky it caused a rash to break out there from all the friction. He sniffed his fingers curiously, the rotten scent had begun to physically arouse him. He had gone stinko for so long that he gained a perverse enjoyment out of the whole thing. Every night as he went to bed he'd swear he would take a shower the next morning but so overcome by sleepiness and a lack of motivation, he also seldom left bed on time. He was chronically late to work at the customer service call center. There he had brought his habit of mumbling things to himself, it had started at home alone, then in the workplace between the all too frequent phone calls until finally, he found out that people either didn't care or just didn't want to know so he brought his verbal tics to the phone, in between sentences as some kind of period.

"Good morning sir fuck shit. What can we do for you today at the Stewards of Environmental Friendship customer service department, oh God kill me."

"Yeah hello I'm looking to file a complaint. My fuckin' tap water is fuckin' brown and it gave my fuckin' wife dysentery meanwhile I can't stop shitting over here, I'm speaking to you from my fuckin' toilet bowl. Now you gonna do something about it Sonny Boy or am I gonna have to come down there and speak to you up close, eh?!

"There's no need for that sir, here at the S.E.F. we pride ourselves on our customer service ,my life is worthless. Please hold while I transfer you to our water quality and inspections department, I have no balls."

"What's that Sonny? I didn't catch that last part? Something about balls?"

"No sir," he replied reassuringly, "I said I have many calls. Hold on, I'm transferring you now."

People didn't care. He was just another blank face in a sea of blank faces. He had grown up thinking that he would matter, that he would have an impact on society. But years of isolation and mediocrity had taught him otherwise. It had crossed his mind that one day he might break and then become one of them. Not that he wanted to, the idea nauseated him. Rather, it was the stark choice that he would one day come to out of desperation: either a purposeless life marked by sheer loneliness or one of assimilation into the mainstream. Feigning normalcy seemed to be the only way out of this god awful state he had fallen into. He could turn into a bland dullard who talked about the latest episode of the current Netflix show with his coworkers by the water cooler. A socialized consumer with the scent of status quo due to all the products he consumed with his fellow man. He had tried to fake interest in those types of things before but it was too taxing. He would rather spend his time staring at the wall for hours, idly twirling his hair and getting carried away by his overactive imagination then pretend to find stimulation from overpaid ex-convicts fighting over some kind of ball. Either that or he could go completely insane and become another type of office fauna; a mumbler, who was to be avoided. He could do his time, get a pension, and then die just like so many others. The bureaucracy had a way of reducing human. life to its lowest, basest form. Those were the paths that were laid out for him, at least until he got an idea.

It came to him one Saturday morning while he was watching the news. A new super virus had started in China. It was highly contagious and though the official number of fatalities given by the Chinese government was very low, they had effectively quarantined 3 cities making a combined total of 23 million people. If the mortality of the disease was so low like they say it seemed like an odd move to make. This had to be much worse then they were letting on, he thought. It could be the next plague and in this modern globalized world it would be very hard to contain. This idea excited him, his testicles shrunk as norepinephrine flooded his system. The news said so far there were only 3 suspected cases of it in America and they were currently being quarantined and treated for the virus. Research on the disease was still in its early stages though so the chances of those people surviving were slim. The world was so boring, every time something exciting was on the verge of happening the government stepped in and squashed it. How very mundane it all was. Mother Nature’s attempts at revenge were always being culled prematurely. Matthew reached his hands down his pants to his crotch and rubbed his inner thighs and genitals until his hands were oily and sticky. He took them out and smelled them with the vigor of a dog nose deep in another one's butthole. Then he ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times and began to think.

Matthew long fostered an unhealthy obsession with infectious diseases. This fetish was born two years ago when he was suffering from an array of unexplainable bodily manifestations that (drove him into a deep depression) started when he was in the midst of a deep depression.* Already being in a fragile state of mind, the symptoms terrified him. None of the doctors could figure out the cause. Their impotence drove him into a fit of monomania as he fell into a spiral of obsessive research and after countless hours spent scouring the Internet for clues he became convinced that he was dying from some rare, exotic malady. Squeezed in the vice like grip of neurosis, his already frail mental state was deteriorating rapidly until finally all the months of severe psychological strain and isolation came to a head when he suffered a major panic attack from which he never fully recovered.

He had gone to the doctor that day to be tested for a sexually transmitted retrovirus, which was impossible for him to have contracted as he was a virgin. In the days before the appointment his insomnia worsened. Every night he laid wide awake in bed contemplating his potential death sentence as the minutes ticked by ever slowly. By the time he arrived for his appointment he was a nervous wreck. He hadn’t changed his clothes in a week, he was too consumed by his thoughts to even notice. After checking in with the receptionist he took a seat in an empty corner of the waiting area away from everybody else. The scheduled time for his appointment came and went as he sat there occasionally muttering obscenities to himself. Nobody seemed to notice though or they pretended not to. It’s easy for a lonely person to lose their mind in this world where community has crumbled and from the ashes of it came a new world of atomized individuals who, like the old society, held mental health to be taboo. Matthew’s heart, strained by stress and sleeplessness began to beat faster. Knowing something was wrong, he tried to take some deep breaths to calm down but his ribcage constricted his longs keeping them from fully expanding. While struggling to inhale his left temple began to hurt then in his chest he felt a heavy, dull ache. A panic enveloped him despite his attempts to stay calm. This is it he thought, a stroke just like his father. By the time the nurse finally called him in he had forgotten the reason for his visit.

By the time the doctor had finally called him he was a nervous wreck. His brain was tingling and he was overcome by lightheadedness. Matthew frantically described what he was experiencing. The doctor nodded then had an EKG performed on him. The results were normal. The doctor left him alone in the examination room with the door closed as his heart beat faster and faster. She came back in with anxiety and depression questionnaires where you’d circle a number from 1-3 to indicate the severity of the symptoms listed with 3 being the most severe. He circled 3 on every single symptom except for the one about suicide. He knew that an honest answer on that one would send him straight to the psychiatric ward. Have you been feeling a sense of worthlessness? 3. Do you think you would be better off dead? 3. Are you unable to experience pleasure from activities you used to enjoy? 3, and so on. The doctor came back in and looked at the results of the survey.

“Doctor I think I’m having a stroke! I almost forgot what day it is and my vision is getting blurry!" He desperately cried.

“The EKG test came back normal.” The doctor replied.

“But an EKG doesn’t test for strokes, look!” He shoved his phone in her face which had a Wikipedia article open. “I gotta go to the hospital doc, I don’t wanna die!”

“You’re gonna be alright. Are you currently seeing a psychiatrist?”

“Yes for 5 years.”

“5 years?! And you are still feeling like this? Are you taking your medication?”

“Yes every day I never miss a dose.”

“Well you had better give him a call.”

“GOD DAMMIT I’M HAVING A FUCKING STROKE AND YOU WANT ME TO CALL A HEAD DOCTOR? I’M GONNA DIE IF YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING!” “If you want to go to the hospital then go but all your vitals are normal.” She replied, then exited the room.

Matthew texted his mother that he loved her,(she replied back with an 'Ok') then dialed 911 and called for an ambulance at the doctor’s office. It felt like an eternity had passed by the time the EMTs had shown up. They looked puzzled as Matthew walked out of the examination room, after all, who walks into an ambulance? They brought him out to the ambulance, sat him down, and took his blood pressure. It was a little high but not enough to warrant a trip to the emergency room.

“So how are you feeling, big guy?” One of the paramedics asked.

“Oh shit, this is all in my head isn’t it?” Matthew replied, burying his head in his hands.

“It’s alright pal just try to relax.”

They let him go after a short conversation where they had advised him to ‘go outside’ and ‘make some friends’.He couldn’t do any of that though, the motherly advice had vexed him and he was so mortified and humiliated by the whole thing, But it had all felt so real though! He had felt like he was going to die there, in the examination room. At the peak of the attack a feeling of tiredness washed over him like a warm bath as he had waited for the doctor to return. Is that what death felt like? Like just going to sleep? Huh, he thought, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be...

The idea had animated him. He got off the couch, put on his jacket, and headed out the door. He arrived in the Chinese quarter an hour later. Most of the shop signs were in Chinese which made his task difficult. He figured an old traditional medicine store would do the trick. Matthew spotted one after a few blocks, he couldn’t read the sign but the windows displayed bottles of what appeared to be ginseng and other herbal medicines. From the outside it looked cluttered, dusty and old, it looked even more so inside. A bell rang as he opened the door and went in. An elderly Chinese man with a bald spot stood behind the counter with his nephew by his side. There were a few people in line to pay and walking around browsing the aisles. He’d have to wait until they were all gone before he made his move. Matthew walked up and down the aisles several times until the other customers had all left. He went up to the counter whistling with his hands in his pockets. The old man eyed him suspiciously, Matthew looked different from his usual clientele. After all, every product in the shop had labels on them in Chinese, why would a white man come here?

“Good afternoon sir!” Matthew said loudly and then quietly: “I’m hoping you can help me find something.”

The old Chinaman looked offended. “What you want?” he asked in a heavily accented voice.

“I’m looking for something that’s been spreading pretty quickly in China, do you sell biological weapons here?”

“Huh? What?”

“Biological weapons, you know like that crazy flu that’s been ravaging China for a few weeks now. Do you by chance have any that I could purchase?”

The nephew looked at him bewilderingly.

“That’s not funny, asshole. I have family back there and they’re scared shitless!” He spoke. Through his clothes and lack of accent Matthew could tell he was Americanized.

“Oh that must be incredible! They’re at the epicenter of God’s wrath!”

“Sick! Sick! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Oh plenty’s wrong with me but I’m trying to get better, I’m trying to fix everything. So can you sell me a vial or whatever of the virus?”

The old man had been silently watching, trying to understand what was being said but he barely spoke English. He barked something that sounded like a question in Chinese to his nephew. The nephew shouted back to him in Chinese. The conversation went on for a few minutes, at first the old man looked positively furious but in the end it seemed like they agreed on something and both started giggling. The nephew turned back to Matthew.

“So you want that flu huh? Well my uncle here just came back from the Zicheng province! He can give you it, we will only charge you $100” Matthew was elated at this news.

“Oh yes! I knew you guys would have it!.”

He took out his wallet and gave him the money.

“So how do I get it? Is he gonna spit in a test tube or something?”

All of a sudden the old man leaned across the counter towards him and hocked a loogie right in his face.

“There, now you have it. Now get out of here you creep!” The nephew said.

“But how do I know I have it? There’s barely any snot in this thing, see?”

Matthew wiped the spittle off his cheek and showed them. Then he put his hand to his mouth and swallowed it. Both the nephew and the uncle’s jaws dropped to the floor.

“Give me more, that wasn’t worth $100.”

The nephew told the old man what he said in Chinese. The old man's eyes lit up.

“More? He want more?”

“Yeah give him some more.”

The old man smiled in delight. He leaned across the counter again, this time Matthew grabbed his face with both of his hands and forced his tongue into his open mouth. The old man let out a muffled scream. Matthew ran his tongue over every part of his mouth, sucking up any saliva that was in there.

“You bastard! Let him go!” the young Chinaman screamed.

After he was sure the virus had been transmitted he released the old man.

“Thank you very much! You don’t know how much joy this has brought to me.”

“You leave! You leave now!” Cried the old man, choking back a sob.

“Alright alright I’ll go. I just want you gentlemen to know that you have just participated in a historical event. Keep an eye on the news.”

With that he made guns with his fingers and shot imaginary bullets at them, making noises with his mouth and slowly backing out of the store. This was it! He thought. Finally I’m gonna make a difference in this world! He felt full of love and euphoria as he walked out into the street. He passed by a homeless man mumbling to himself 5 doors down. Ah, he’s just like me!

“Could you spare any change sir fuckass cock balls?” The hobo asked.

“Of course my brother!” He took out a dollar bill, licked it, then handed it to him.

“Don’t you worry friend, what I’ve given you is worth a hundred dollars! Stay strong my brother! Things will get better real soon!”

The bum looked at the bill then at him.

“You son of a bitch motherfucker crusty asshole on my face!”

He got up and grabbed Matthew by the collar.

“Oh ho ho! You want to make sure I gave it to you? Who am I to deny an eager man like yourself?”

He grabbed the homeless guy’s cheeks with his big yeti hands and gave him a deep kiss. The hobo’s eyes shot wide open in terror as he struggled to get away from him. Matthew let him go after he was sure he had tasted the man’s tonsils.

“Hey mister! What the hell!” he yelled frightened, backing away.

“God bless you sir! You were my first one! I will never forget you!”

“Wh-what? That was your first kiss?”

“No it was my second one, I just had my first one 5 doors down.”

“You’re crazy! Get away from me!”

With that he took off in a sprint. Matthew gazed at him lovingly like a mother looking down at her newborn baby. After he lost sight of him he popped his collar and strolled leisurely back home.

The feeling of euphoria carried over to the following Monday. Usually Matthew wouldn’t talk to anyone at the job but he had undergone an immense psychic change that past weekend. He talked with everybody and anybody would listen. He was constantly dishing out handshakes, fist bumps, and half hugs, taking bathroom breaks every now and again to get more crotch grease and spittle on his hands. His coworkers were frightened at first, but they warmed towards him after the initial shock. One of them, Jessie, caught him in the break room drinking out of someone else’s mug. He wrote it off as an honest mistake. Another one of his coworkers found him licking the water fountain nozzle. These vagaries went largely unnoticed though as the days went by. On Wednesday, Matthew went to his supervisor’s office.

“Good morning Tracy.”

“Hello Matt. So what did you want to talk about?” she asked.

“Well, it’s just that, I’ve been on the phones for 3 years now and I’d really like to branch out to broaden my work experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love this job, I just need something more stimulating, something challenging.”

She eyed him curiously.

“Well Matt, I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about you these past few days. But allow me to ask; what exactly prompted you to come here today and ask for a transfer?”

“Oh, it’s just that I finally broke out of that funk I was in ever since….well you know. Now I want to achieve things, I want to be more useful to the agency, My goal is to get the employee of the month award. I think I’ve always wanted to deep down inside but I never had enough motivation to go after it.”

“Hm, I’m impressed with you Matt. I know things haven’t been the same since that thing happened but I am very pleased to see you are doing well. Now what line of work are you interested in?”

“Well I saw there’s an opening at the front end. I think I’d very much like it there, as I’m sure you know I have excellent customer service skills so I think it would be a good fit.”

“Alright Matt. I have to send some emails but most likely the job is yours.”

Matt jumped up out of his seat like an electric eel.

“Golly thanks Tracy! I won’t let you down I promise!”

“I know you won’t Matthew,” she replied.

He stuck out his hand for a shake. Taking her petite hand into his, he pressed his palm into hers and maintained perfect eye contact. After about 30 seconds she broke her hand away.

“Did you just use hand sanitizer or something? Your hands feel sticky!”

“Yeah right before I came in. You gotta be real careful with all those viruses going around.”

Her eyes widened.

“That’s right! I was just watching the news this morning, they were reporting on that flu. That thing spreads like wildfire!”

Matthew broke out into an ear to ear grin. He bit his tongue to keep from laughing in ecstasy.

“Well thanks a bunch, Tracy. Have a good day.”

He made finger guns and pew pewed her as he shuffled out of her office backwards. At the door he performed a 180-degree spin and briskly walked back to his desk. Tracy stood behind her desk and sniffed her right hand.

He felt exuberant. Things that would usually bother him now ran off him like water on a raincoat. He even stopped mumbling to himself, his neurosis withered away and was replaced with a feeling of contentment. During this time he would go out at night and ride the subway back and forth, occasionally getting off to visit a museum or library where he would ask the librarian which books were popular nowadays then, hidden between the aisles he would inhale black pepper and sneeze on the first few pages. On the weekends he went to the cinema to see the latest blockbuster movie. Mostly they were juvenile superhero movies that he detested but now he didn't mind taking in 90 minutes of high definition opium. His habit of daydreaming which had consumed endless hours of his time had ceased. Now he didn’t feel the need to escape into the depths of his imagination. He took to life with a new zeal and for the first time since he was a child he was genuinely excited.

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