#mh recovery

[rabbittongues]

#recovery #recovery art #my art' #an excuse to draw one of my plants? the best #mental health recovery #mh recovery #mental illness recovery #plants #tumblr stop ruining my arts quality PLEASE it looks so crisp

[agonisingpain]

Intrusive thoughts are back, they are loud and horrible. I am so scared that something bad will happen to my loved ones because of me and my bad thoughts.

My psychologist once told me that this thing it's called "magical thinking OCD". She also reassured me that although these thoughts are heavy I really do not have the power to make something like a car crash happen just because for a second the thought of it crossed my mind.

What my psychologist said helped me rationalize but sometimes when the thoughts are many I still feel extreme anxiety and fear.

For me having this type of OCD means obsessions about being a bad person, fear of hurting people, and mental compulsions to avoid it. And it's really scary and consuming because it's all in my head and people don't see how stressed and tired I am from trying to push away the intrusive thoughts.

Talking about it it's not easy, especially because I fear that saying my thoughts out loud will make them even more concrete and I don't usually do this kind of post but I feel the need to say to everyone out there with this OCD type that you are not alone.

Always remember that they are "just" thoughts and that they can't define you as a peron and neither make people you love get hurt.

#ocd #actually ocd #obsession #obsessive compulsive disorder #magical thinking #intrusive thoughts #mentally ill #mental disorder #mental helath #mental health support #mh recovery #recovery

[endless----pain]

Hey girlies friendly reminder that we all find out what works best for us and live life accordingly

#poetry #healing #wellness #mh recovery #recovery #yoga #quotes #nihilism quotes #nihilismmemes #nihilism

[thedarksideofthesuns]

random mental health recovery tips cause why not

 Keeping a diary of ur mood, energy levels etc (whatever it is that you would like to improve) and ALSO looking at how it coincides with ur menstural cycle if you have one, and also any events in ur life THIS WAY you can track patterns of ur mood and notice what helps and what doesnt etc

create/ designate safe spaces if you can- for example if you go to work and need to be alone and safe where will you go? designate spaces eg the toilet or outside. for example at school i have designated this very empty outdoor space for me thats always empty and has fresh air. in my old school I had designated a specific toilet that felt calming to me idk ADDITIONALLY if you have your own room or any spaces that are completely your own then do what you can to make that space feel calming and safe to you- if not find other areas that you can go to when you need a safe space and need to be calm and alone- for me I have a lot of outdoor spaces like isolated parts of parks and whatnot

panic ritual: this one is a random one but it helps me a lot- i have a list of 3-5 activities to do whenever I panic like a little ritual. this deffo doesnt work if ur having a panic attack but if ur just worrying and overthinking and feeling anxious its a good way to get ur mind off of things and get you doing something else. for example for me if i am at home i do some skincare and then i get some fruit or veg and chop them into tiny pieces which calms me down a lot and then i sit down and watch a comfort tv show or movie while I eat the tiny fruits- or I make a hot choc depends what I have in the fridge.

setting small goals in random stuff: for example setting goals in things outside of your paid work or academics- things that you are not at all required to be good at, for example fitness goals (such as run a 5k) or musical instrument goals like learning a new song on guitar or learning a new language for fun of picking up a new hobby like painting or knitting.- this generally increases ur confidence and makes you feel more capable when you achieve these goals but even if you dont achieve them, they dont matter a lot to your career so its not vital that you achieve them

protein- i never eat enough protein or even know how much of it i should eat so after some research you should basically eat your weight in kg multiplies by 0.75 and that should be how many grams you should eat daily- for example if you weigh 50kg you should eat roughly around 37.5g of protein per day. it gives you energy and stuff so its cool i guesss ALTHOUGH IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFY TRACKING THAT PLEASE DONT, THIS IS JUST A SUGGESTION ROUGHLY PLS DONT COUNT MACROS IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFY WITH IT

actually communicate with your loved ones and support systems, it can be scary but it is always so so helpful

THAT IS ALL I HAVE TODAY WOOHOO lets hope i follow my fucking advice for once and fix my mental health

#recovery #ed recovery #mh recovery #sh recovery #recovery tips #recovery thoughts #mental heal #recovering #recovery vent #recovery goal #ed #bpd recovery #mental health #heal #healing #shadow work

[positivelyadhd]

I want to remind everyone this New Year that you are no less worthy if you struggle with organisation, memory, planning, making goals (ect ect) than people who don't.

You do not have to set goals if you don't want to. and if you do, you are not a bad person if you struggle to keep them.

You are allowed to experience the New Year however you would like to.

You are allowed to make mistakes.

Progress takes time and a change of the calendar won't change that.

#realising now this is similar to my last post but here we are #society puts a lot of expectations on us in the new year!! you don't have to meet them #i feel like adhd rly does make us very likely to fall for it as well and then struggle with mh bc of that!! but thats okay! you're not alon #new year #self care #recovery #love letters to you

[anarchistfrogposting]

I mean this with the full range of sincerity I could possibly ever muster:

One of the only ways to recover from any deep depression is by sincerely embracing silliness

#depression #mental health #recovery #mh

[lazykebabvagina]

Happy one week sh free to me

#clean #sh recovery #sh #tw sh #cw sh #self harm #mentalhealth #recovery #in recovery #mh

[eloquentmoon]

hi hi i could do with some help and idk how else to say this but literally how do i cope with being unbearably depressed 🧍🏻‍♀️

i can't talk to people irl about this so i am trying this idk - but like i get my ass up everyday and i work, i try and keep busy and distracted by life or my hobbies (it's hard though, because i don't enjoy anything atm), when things feel real bad i take the day an hour at a time...i eat, i shower, i take my meds, i drink water, i exercise, i socialise...and yet im still crying every 2 mins and feel like i cannot ever breathe and feel like i have stones in my pockets and i am just in so much emotional pain. i genuinely just don't care about anything right now, everything feels pointless and broken. and i feel like maybe the worst person in the world because i have all i need to thrive and i just can't and like im insanely ungrateful and like maybe i shouldn't have ever existed in the first place? i am such a fucking burden it's insane

y'all i have worked so hard to recover and heal. i don't drink or take drugs. i don't smoke or vape anymore. i eat healthy. i am in a healthy relationship. i have friends. i have a good job. i enjoy what i enjoy until my anguish sucks the joy away.

i am miserable

what else can i even do????? im doing everything right and i feel so wrong

genuinely asking what more can i do to feel better. ive done most therapies and on meds that have settled me. like what the fuck else can i even do at this point

#help #advice #depression #tw depression #tw mental health #mental health #mh #recovery #healing #depression advice

[fliesandtherainfall]

Gonna play these albums back to back once Life Is A Killer comes out Friday so I can see how much psychic damage I can take

#ren tings #there are now two solo albums by my favorite leads about mh addiction recovery and fatherhood/husbandhood

[aquariclily]

#positivity #recovery #quotes #butterfly #earthbound textbox #mental health #mh #my graphics

[doerrferr]

i don't think im ready for the mental state I'm going to be in post 60th anniversary episodes and I don't think the nhs will be either ...

#14th doctor #doctor who #post good omens 2 recovery #david tennant #donna noble #my irrational love for these fictional characters is batshit insane #the nhs already wasnt ready #all jokes aside FUCK inpatient mh services #dw

[isorottatime]

i love waking up in the morning and rememebering that my mental illness doesnt define me and that everyday im making progress even (especially) when it feels like im not and that im the happiest ive ever been since the onset and that none of this is my fault and newsflash buddy its not your fault either. im sure you had very specific circumstances that caused the onset that you obsess over and probably blame yourself for but i dont care. everyone thinks theyre the exception to the rule of ‘its not your fault’ but there are no exceptions. its not your fault. whatever it is, its not your fault. and i mean whatever. not your fault. i love you.

#.txt #mh #mental health #mh positivity #ocd #actually ocd #ocd positivity #mental health reminders #ocd recovery #mental illness #mentally ill #mental illness recovery #ocd posting

[brain-go-brr]

’mental health journey’ but the destination is cluster b

#mh #mental health #bpd #aspd #npd #hpd #mental health recovery

[marblehornetskinfessions]

It’s been a while, nice to see you again mod Ark. I’m gonna go ahead and jump right into it.

Last night/this morning I lapsed back into the mindset I had when TO was still an active threat.

I almost fucked things up *really bad*. I nearly ruined all the relationships the system has. I actually did ruin one. It went so bad. But it could’ve went so much worse. I’m not sure whether to be angry at myself for ending back up at step one or proud of myself for not fucking it up as bad as I did last time. What a way to start the new year, right?

Anyways.

I’m just glad no one’s hurt this time.

-Just Another Alex Introject

.

#mhkin #marblehornetskin #marble hornets kin #mh kin #alex kralie #anonymous #mod ark #good to see you too! #and if it helps any. recovery isn't linear! i still have to drill that in my head too tbh #you're gonna have moments like this sometimes and thats okay. you're still healing. what matters now #is that youll find a way to cope healthily when this happens and have a good support system #whether it be your system or other people who know about you and can try to help! #im no professional and i need to take my own dang advice but! we hope you're doing okay now and im glad you're trying

[bunnychargebolt]

I don’t see my sa therapist for another couple weeks and Im having a time tonight so you guys get me ranting here again (everyone should actually feel free to ignore this completely. Its just helpful writing shit out)

Cw/Tw for detailed mentions of Sexual Assault

I don’t remember many times that I knew I actually wanted to do sexual things with my ex. And even less than that is the times they actually asked me if what they were doing was ok. I think that happened maybe twice. We were together for a year and a half. Sexual shit started happening around five months into the relationship. Which means in the span of over a year I remember them asking for consent like twice.

When stuff first started happening I remember being anxious. We would make out in the back seat of the car and they started rubbing me over my pants. I wasn’t ready for it. I was insecure.

Throughout my entire life my consent has been overlooked. Sexually speaking that started happening when I was about 14. My first in person sexual experience was at 16. With a guy who was 26. I wasn’t old enough to legally consent.

That didnt matter.

I learned from a young age that saying no wasnt really an option. Especially if my opinion wasnt asked for.

I talked to them about all of this. Before we even got together.

That didn’t matter.

I dont know if I ever truly wanted to do any of the stuff I did with my ex. And I had tried talking to them about it.

For at least the last six months of our relationship- every time we had sex (which was roughly about once a week) wed have to stop because Id have one of two breakdowns. The first one being that I didnt know if I actually wanted this or if Im making myself because I think im supposed to. The second one being that I feel like im not allowed to say no.

That didnt matter.

When we had to stop because my joints were out of place and I was in so much pain that I was about to start sobbing they simply suggested we try another position. I didn’t want to let them down so I attempted. I couldn’t do it. I was so insecure and anxious about what they wanted that I was on the verge of having a panic attack.

That didn’t matter.

I remember coming over to their house once. They dragged me into their room and pushed me onto their bed. They said “this is going to happen one way or another so we might as well get it over with”.

I remember having a conversation with them, telling them that I dont want to have sex with them every time I come over. Their response was “It’s hard not to have sex with you. We only see each other once a week”

I remember wanting to take a nap with them. They got on top of me and started kissing me. I tried to pretend I was still asleep. But because i had very briefly mentioned somnophilia to them before they wouldnt stop. Wed never had an actual discussion about it. I never consented to that.

I remember them being on top of le while we were making out and me stopping and saying “i dont know if I want this”. They continued anyways.

I remember having a conversation with them about how they trample over me saying no when I dont want to talk about something. They responded by saying theres a general rule they follow for themself. “Id rather do something and be told it was wrong afterwards than ask for permission first”

I remember not being able to do things for them like give them a blow job or a hand job because I wasmt physically up to it. Between my joints and my acid reflux I couldnt do it. They would get upset. They would bring up how they would do stuff to me but I wont do stuff to them.

I didn’t want what they were doing to me. It was physically damaging for me to do stuff for them.

None of that ever mattered.

I didn’t matter.

I was a chore to get done so they could have something to dangle over my head to obligate me to do stuff for them.

I remember them pressuring me into shower sex. I didn’t want to do it. Some of their family was home. I cant stand in showers for that long. I had to sit down. They still had me give them a blow job.

I remember being in my shower with them. Literally crying. Saying I dont want to be touched. And them still continuing to bite my ear which is something they only ever do sexually.

I remember trying to physically pull away from them so many times.

I remember wanting to be loved.

I remember wanting to feel pretty.

I remember feeling like I had to have sex with them.

I remember everything and nothing at the same time.

I remember allowing all of my boundaries to be trampled over while doing everything I could, to the point of putting my physical well being on the line, to make them feel comfortable.

I remember never getting complimented.

I remember not being like anyone else they showed interest in.

I can still feel them on me.

I can still hear them in my ear.

I can feel them in my home.

My safe places are completely gone.

I remember realizing all of this after breaking up with them.

I remember the fear when I found out someone told them what I shared.

I remember shaking while filing a police report.

I still feel the fear of what theyd do if they found out. What theyll do if I ever run into them.

I still feel unsafe driving near where they live.

I still feel them on me.

I’ve considered trying to scratch my skin off. Maybe then that feeling would go away. But I know that won’t help.

I was uncomfortable. I was in pain. I was crying. I was trying to get away.

I never actually said no though.

“I don’t understand anything other than a firm no” they said close to our break up.

I never said no.

I never pushed them away.

I never really fought back.

But anyone else would have seen me. Desperately wanting to get away. Face contorted in pain. Unable to walk. Unable to dress myself. Clearly uncomfortable. Hearing my hesitance.

No one would have heard me say yes. Because I never did. They never asked.

I remember reading about how your skin is different every 7 years because of the cells you shed. Im not waiting 7 years to get rid of them.

I started getting help. Im going to continue getting help. Im never going to stop speaking up. Sexually assaulting me is just one of many horrible things they did. Yes this fucked me up. But this is on the bottom of my priority list when I tell people what they did.

Im not the only ex to say they assaulted me. And I don’t think I’ll be the last. But I know that ex wont be from the people Im close to. Because they listened when I talked. They told me how bad things were. They watched me break during the relationship. And they helped put me back together when I needed it most.

And now after all that, i find solace in the littlest of things. Yes they assaulted me, but I faked my orgasms. Yes they cheated on me, but they never actually got any bitches.

Its important to find those things. Im going to continue finding more.

Im really happy that after that relationship I get to be me again, even if I have a couple new cracks.

#tw vent #tw sa #tw abuse #sa recovery #here are mh silly little thoughts #idek if this all makes sense #brain just kept saying words #theyre all there now #this also isnt all of the stuff they did in this category😭 #theres #so much #sobs

[punkstylerecovery]

Making an effort not to lie to defend people who used you or treated you like shit is such a change. It’s terrifying because you don’t know how others are going to react or even if they’re going to believe you. But it’s also freeing because you’ve spent so long keeping your mouth shut for other people’s benefit that you forgot what the truth tastes like. It’s like a freefall and I’ll be damned if I know where I’m going to land but I’ll also be fucked if I’m not making the leap. 

#trauma recovery #um #i dunno if this counts but #abuse recovery #feels relevant too #mh #punkstyle