ronan’s arc in the dreamer trilogy is so important to me because what happens after the main characters go through so much trauma and damage and pain in the series has never really been answered but the dreamer trilogy answers it. adulthood is about constantly trying to heal and unlearn the horrible things that happened to you and realizing oh well now i have to take control of my own life and so these super unhealthy coping mechanisms have waaaaayyy worse consequences but.... like the trauma is still there.
the dreamer trilogy is proof of that
and it’s set up so well too with the opal short story.... the scene with the nightwash. ronan is letting the nightwash take him and he’s scared, yes, but he also admits to adam that part of him is always going to be feel like he’s made to die and part of him will always be okay with it. he didn’t just magically become happy. he built a support system but he didn’t magically get better.
trc ends with ronan not wanting to be dead but not really... wanting to be alive either? the scene with him drowning in acid in trk, he literally monologues about how he was /dying/ but all he could think about was how matthew’s life would be over. and this is in TRK after his i can control my night horrors and self hatred arc is over.
And the thing is, we do see Ronan healing. “WAKE UP ASSHOLE, UR ALIVE”, him trying to move to boston. he’s trying, but it’s all failing and so he’s slowly spiraling and it’s not wrecking cars and drinking himself senseless but it’s much much worse
i literally feel so bad for ronan constantly. he’s so sad. all i can hear from this book is just.... sad... lonely.... help me. like i want to help them
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