#micro hosting

[weedsmokingbf]

crazy how 10 years ago I was actively giving myself carpel tunnel from playing love live everyday and made it even worse when I'd 100% expert songs.... I was crazy and now that app doesn't even exist anymore 😔

#speaks #$200+ down the drain which sucks but i rly shouldn't have been doing micro transactions for a gacha at the time #sunnys not host anymore cuz she spent too much in gacha games smh (MOSTLY KIDDING)

[non-un-topo]

Playing a wild game today called are antibiotics making me retain water or is it T or is it body dysmorphia

#being 2 weeks on t has me crazy ajgkakgk #im checking my face all the time in the mirror like IS that a jawline?? oh it's not. aww. #found out i have little micro guys eating my stomach lining or smth. they've been hanging out there for as long as i've - #- been getting GERD symptoms so for at least a year. gross and shitty but it makes for some creepy writing fodder #my body is a host to some invisible creatures and they want to eat me from the inside out #or something like that

[bunthatstinksgood]

hiiii with stink do you like super gross words like rotting and fetid 👀

i get off on just the grissest words

LOVE THEM . rotting fetid putrid moldy cheesy..,,, musk should never be clean stink is RANK stink is DISGUSTING . FUNGAL…..@//@

#asks #girl w a micro biome taint hosting a wide variety of fungi nn bacterium species

[solarellipse]

This man wanted a gentrified shitting experience.

#so i gave him a home full of individual micro stalls #rows and rows of toilets for miles #to host the ibs club #animal crossing #acnh #achhp #solarellipse rambles #acnh liveblogging

[mmwm]

LINK FEST: 12 DECEMBER 2023

Links that may or may not be related to gardens, food, travel, nature, or heterotopias and liminal spaces but probably are. Sources in parentheses. long essay: Mere Belief: Sliding down the curve of forgetting (Sallie Tisdale/Atlantic). A long, beautiful, poetic, and perhaps provacative (if you think memory isn’t fluid and also porous) exploration of memory. list/essay: How to throw a cocktail…

View On WordPress

#belief #brain #cocktail party #cocktails #dust storms #fix it #forgetting #hosting a party #interior design #linkfest #links #memory #micro apartment #mind #repairing things #Texas #tiny house #waste #wind

[anghraine]

It's 11 PM, but one of my favorite little Darcy/Elizabeth moments happens while she still hates him and thinks he's a depraved monster, and I find it really entertaining.

It's during the Kent section, when Darcy calls at the parsonage and finds Elizabeth alone. During a longer, awkward conversation in which they both deeply misunderstand each other, they have this tiny interchange:

[Darcy:] “This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr Collins first came to Hunsford.” “I believe she did—and I am sure she could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful object.” “Mr Collins appears very fortunate in his choice of a wife.” “Yes, indeed; his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him, or have made him happy if they had. My friend has an excellent understanding—though I am not certain that I consider her marrying Mr Collins as the wisest thing she ever did."

So: they are in Mr Collins's house. Darcy tries to re-start the conversation with a polite nothing about the house. Elizabeth agrees about Lady Catherine's micro-managing, but can't resist the chance to make a sly jab at Mr Collins (who is not present) to Darcy (a genuine villain, as far as she believes).

Darcy's reply looks a bit like an attempt to redirect the conversation into safer waters (they can agree that Charlotte is cool!). But although his remark is only somewhat related to what Elizabeth said, I think it's a natural follow-up in his mind because he is also insulting Mr Collins, if more subtly.

He could have praised Mr Collins's judgment in choosing Charlotte or just said something nice about Charlotte; he doesn't. Instead, he suggests that Mr Collins's choice of Charlotte was a matter of good fortune—or chance, as Charlotte herself would say!—on Collins's part. Darcy and Elizabeth both know Collins is a fool and that his choice of a woman like Charlotte says nothing about his judgment, only about his good fortune. (Elizabeth has even better reason than Darcy to know how much Collins ending up with Charlotte was lucky for him, but Darcy can see it anyway.)

Darcy's phrasing gives him some plausible deniability, but I think he's generally quite careful with his wording and the implicit insult to Mr Collins is not accidental.

Elizabeth, I think, takes this exactly as intended. She's not at all confused about where this tangent came from or offended by it or anything. She readily seizes on the new line of conversation as encouragement to keep insulting Mr Collins and his appeal to women with functioning brainpower.

Elizabeth is pretty scrupulously polite in general, so I kind of love that she just starts venting about her absolute contempt for Mr Collins and the Collins/Charlotte marriage to Darcy in the middle of a tense and weird conversation in Mr Collins's house. And I love that Darcy, who is otherwise more or less dog-paddling his way through this conversation, is like "yeah, your friend seems really cool, that dumbass is lucky he accidentally chose someone with a brain."

Elizabeth: "Right? And, let me add-"

(Is it a bit of an asshole move on both their parts in the context of that scene? Yeah, I think a little. I also love it! Please trash-talk obnoxious hosts in their own parlours for the rest of your lives.)

#anghraine babbles #deep blogging #i'm feeling a bit 'don't explain the joke' about ... well. explaining the joke. but it's still funny to me! #darcy and elizabeth are genuinely good people but sometimes they can't help statler and waldorfing it up #austen blogging #pride and prejudice #jane austen #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #otp of otps #sidenote: i don't think darcy and charlotte really interact 'onstage' #but i find it interesting that charlotte (who does not like men) sticks up for him multiple times #and is the one to deduce months before the pemberley scenes that darcy is generally different than she's known him #meanwhile darcy is oblivious to charlotte trying to further his romance with elizabeth but is like ... good vibes tbh #charlotte lucas

[writer-ace]

I watched the asexual and aromantic communities get eaten away at by exclusionists and proto-TERFs and queer people making fun of microlabels and people who talked about how they just wanted all of us to stop dividing ourselves so much and people who decided that the concept of the Split Attraction Model was homophobic and people who flooded the ace and aro tags with porn and--

Well, you get the point.

But now a lot of people on this site don't know about ace culture and modern history, so here's some stuff you should know about:

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) was started in 2001 by asexuality activist David Jay as a forum and educational space about asexuality.

A Carnival of Aces, which is a monthly blogging carnival on ace topics, has been taking place since May 2011 and has included such topics as coming out, non-traditional relationships styles and polyamory, asexual education (which I hosted), and labels and microlabels.

The Split Attraction Model is one model for talking about sexual and romantic orientation that splits out those two orientations, allowing individuals to describe sexual attraction/orientation as distinct from romantic orientation (e.g., aromantic bisexual, heteroromantic grey-asexual). While this model is primarily used by people on the ace and aro spectrums, it can be used by anyone who wants to discuss or describe sexual orientation as being separate from romantic orientation.

The AVEN triangle (or asexuality triangle) is a black and white or greyscale triangle that originated from taking the Kinsey scale and extending it down into another axis to address/acknowledge the range of attraction between what's on the Kinsey scale (allosexuality) and no sexual attraction (asexuality). It's generally presented as white at the horizontal line at the top and then black at the point at the bottom, often with a gradation of shades of grey down to the bottom.

Microlabels are specific (sometimes very narrow) labels for sexualities, romantic orientations, and genders. While these are not aro- or ace-specific, they were often associated with those communities because there was a culture of having nuanced conversations about narrow definitions, often by people couldn't find something that fit their experience in the standard L, G, B, or T lexicon. Demiromantic/demisexual, cupioromantic/cupiosexual, and quoiromantic/quoisexual are all examples of micro-labels.

The ace ring, a black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand (generally) is a symbol of asexuality that some ace people wear. It originated on AVEN in 2005 when people were looking for a symbol that was rather covert.

Cake has also been an ace symbol, mostly from the idea that ace people agree that cake is better than sex. It used to be common to see a drawing of a cake with the ace flag colors.

The ace of (heart/spades/clubs/diamonds) has at times been used as a symbol for different ace spectrum/aro spectrum combinations. Ace of hearts is generally agreed on as alloromantic asexual and ace of spades as aromantic asexual (aroace or aro/ace). Ace of clubs is sometimes for grey-romantic asexual and ace of diamonds sometimes for demiromantic asexual, but those are less common.

Dragons were also associated with the ace community, at least on Tumblr. I'm less certain where this one came from (theories include that they're mythological creatures the way ace people are seen to be or that it's because there were headcanons that Charlie Weasley was ace).

#asexuality #queer history

[swampthingnepook]

Illustrations and cover I made for "Micro zine" open call hosted by Oficyna Peryferie, my project did not get in but it was fun to make these regardless :^)

#digital art #traditional art #illustration #artists on tumblr #my art #mixed media #zine art #zine

[jaemmphilia]

★ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ 2023 (DISCONTINUED)!!

welcome to kinktober 2023 with me, your lovely host, jubin !!

this is my first year hosting kinktober, so I hope I do it justice! here, you will find all the fics i plan on putting out for the duration of october! keep in mind that most of the prompts make me uncomfortable, so i replaced them with free days. on those free days i will write whatever i want. i am not taking requests for kinktober, so don't send anything in, please. below you can find the full masterlist for kinktober!

**also note that these fics will either be gender neutral or male readers.

★ day one: macro/micro with wonho

★ day two: roleplay with mark

★ day three: hate sex with seungmin

★ day four: rimming with haechan

★ day five: sweat with sehun

★ day six: frottage with johnny

★ day seven: virginity with heeseung

★ day eight: breeding with renjun

★ day nine: stripping with jeno

★ day ten: praise kink with felix

★ day eleven: pet play with jake

★ day twelve: free day with jisung

★ day thirteen: size difference with chanyeol

★ day fourteen: orgasm denial with jay

★ day fifteen: temperature play with doyoung

★ day sixteen: public with yuta

★ day seventeen: threesome/moresome with 3racha

★day eighteen: body modification with baekhyun

★ day nineteen: free day with yangyang

★ day twenty: food play with lee know

★ day twenty-one: free day with ten

★ day twenty-two: bondage with i.n

★ day twenty-three: deepthroating with kai

★ day twenty-four: sex toys with taeil

★ day twenty-five: free day with chen

★ day twenty-six: masturbation with xiaojun

★ day twenty-seven: free day with jaehyun

★ day twenty-eight: cockbulge with sunghoon

★ day twenty-nine: breathplay with taeyong

★ day thirty: overstim with xiumin

★ day thirty-one: free day with jaemin

thank you for tuning in to kinktober 2023, i hope you had a great time!!

#kinktober 2023 #kinktober #male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop smut #stray kids x male reader #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #nct x reader #nct x male reader #nct smut #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x male reader #nct dream x reader #nct dream x male reader #nct dream smut #exo x male reader #exo x reader #exo smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen x male reader #enhypen smut

[bogleech]

People really liking my speculative animal wishlists and seem to enjoy that I keep doing vampire versions of non-vampire animals, which is of course because vampire bats are adorable and wonderful. They are adorable and wonderful BECAUSE they are vampires. They are technically completely harmless but there's still a chance they will drink your blood while you're asleep and we as a species hate that SO much it inspires horror and superstition of all sorts. So I think there should be more like that but I already have some that are fish and some that are bugs, so here's just my Top Ten Land Vertebrates That Should Have Vampire Versions:

Tarsier. How great would it be if that thing was also a creeping ghoul. Vampire version would be goth colors. I guess it'd be aesthetically like between a tarsier and an aye-aye actually.

Gecko. I don't know how it would obtain the blood, maybe its tongue would have evolved to have a super sharp tip? Maybe the tip of its little gecko nose would be like a sharp hook?

Tree frog. Same issue as the gecko. I'm gonna say the gecko has a sharp tongue and the frog has a sharp nose. A frog with a beak. Let's also make it see through like a glass frog. Just a ghostly little frog that will cut you.

Kiwi bird, using a needly-fine beak tip and excellent climbing skills, much tinier than the New Zealand one and found on every continent. Then the New Zealand kiwi can still be special. Nature specials can be ike "did you know!? The New Zealand Giant Kiwi is the only kiwi that isn't a sick freak"

Pangolin and this one unlike the rest of these would maybe actually be dangerous, like still pretty large for a blood feeder, if you fall asleep unprotected in vampangolin territory you aren't gonna wake up. I just think pangolins deserve to take a little something back, you know. I guess it might be hard for them to sustain themselves on just blood but maybe these would live where there's a whole lot of big juicy animals for them, like they follow herds of buffalo around.

Flying squirrel and I would put this in my own state of Oregon so like a real Fearsome Critter.

Turtle, because to successfully live like a vampire bat you need to be able to detect a blood source, get to it quickly, drink your fill and get out of there just as quickly, so we'd be talking the fastest and lightest little turtle in the world, a long legged scurrying beetle of a turtle, really long neck with a nasty ass beak. Shell could also be covered in wicked as hell thorns for when a rude host wakes up and tries to be mean to it.

Snake and I would also make it the shortest fattest snake so I guess I'm saying a leech tsuchinoko. Like the vampire bat its fangs would have evolved into two short but sharp little vampire buckteeth. It would be too chubby to coil up the way regular snakes do so instead it would have to roll up the way a pillbug or an armadillo does, into a ball.

Pachyderm with a sharp spur on its trunk. Maybe around pug size, a wrinkly hairy wretched looking micro elephant that would probably live off the blood of things like giraffes and zebras and regular elephants while they sleep. Actually like the pangolin this could probably kill you. Every now and then we could hear about how a big game hunter left his tent open and got completely exsanguinated by an adorable hideous vamphant.

#biology #animals #specevo

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL! After watching episode 1 of Between Us, I was impressed with the level of "thirst" between Boun and Prem's characters in the last couple of scenes. Are there shows or scenes of shows, regardless of actual heat level, that you think did "thirst" well, regardless of how that's resolved at the time? Subjective, I know, but would love to get your take on this!

20 BLs with the BEST Thirst!

Thirst wants to slide a hand under his waistband right tf now and grind. Horny wants to rip his clothes off, and probably pop buttons and laugh about it. Yearning wants to run both hands up his back while they kiss deeply. Hunger wants to lift him by the ass and slam him against the wall.

Raise your glasses please, to THIRST.

I Cannot Reach You - Japan 2023

It's fresh in my mind, so first on this list.

Secret Crush on You - Thailand 2022

This scene in particular sprang next to mind, just because for me it kinda defined thirst in Thai BL. (Also see my #1 pick for sides at the end.)

Jun & Jun - Korea 2023

We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd - Taiwan 2021

2 Moons: Ambassador (AKA 2 Moons 3) - Thailand 2022

Eternal Yesterday - Japan 2022

Why R U? - Korea 2023

HIStory 3 - the BL that shall not be named - Taiwan 2019

Bed Friend - Thailand 2023

They sleeping together but King still thirsty af

Big Dragon - Thailand 2022

My Beautiful Man - Japan 2021

Between Us - Thailand 2022-23

Minato's Laundromat - Japan 2022

Ghost Host Ghost House - Thailand 2022

the infamous leg scene alone qualifies them, but they very mutually thirsty in general

My Personal Weatherman - Japan 2023

It's the point.

I Feel You Linger in the Air - Thailand 2023

The oil scene is a stroke of genius.

Well, several strokes.

Old Fashion Cupcake - Japan 2022

I Told Sunset About You - Thailand 2020

Love in Translation - Thailand 2023

Just because of that damn convenience store make-out scene.

Nitiman - Thailand 2021

I find thirst is often (although not always) the provenance of the seme character.

Mutual thirst is really rare.

Side dish gravy

Shorts, side couples, and so forth.

Oh My Sunshine Night - Thailand 2022

Noh appears 2x on this list. He's GREAT at thirst. Possibly the only Thai actor to give Japan real competition. GIVE HIM ANOTHER LEAD!

HIStory 4: Close To You - Taiwan 2021

Gen Y 2 - Thailand 2022

@heretherebedork and I call them PokeTongue for a reason.

Y-Destiny - Thailand 2021

kiss x kiss x kiss: Perfect Scandal - Japan 2022

No shocker that Japan is the only one to field a micro on this list. Usually thirst takes more build up.

Defining THIRST

I make a distinction between thirst and other types of physical desire. This is just me and language.

Thirst usually leaps off the screen and has an edge of danger to it. Like they gonna get caught, or go out of control just from wanting to touch. They gonna die without physical contact. It's pure survival need. Japan kinda specializes in this.

There's no humor to thirst, but horny can get kinda cheeky. It's more fun and mutual (ee.g. KinnPorsche). More want than need. So it's more Thailand and Taiwan.

There's also yearning (e.g. The 8th Sense), which has a more emotional soul tether to it. Korea in particular, but also like GMMTV and lower heat prestige stuff, high school things for example (My School President).

And finally hunger, which I tend to think of as desire but with a nourishment component. It's I want what's MINE. Like Taejung in Cherry Blossoms After Winter.

These aren't mutually exclusive, mind you.

I dithered but they didn't quite make the list

Irresistible Love - China 2016

Second Chance - Thailand 2021

Takara & Amagi - Japan 2022

Love Area - Thailand 2022

Takumi-kun - Japan 2007

Moonlight Chicken - Thailand 2023

My Engineer (RamKing) - Thailand 2020

It's why we're all still mad we never got full RamKing

(source)

This posted dated end of 2023. Not responsible for thirsty BL that happens after. Check the comments for additions and other's thoughts on the matter.

#bl with thirst #thirsty bl #gay thirst #I Cannot Reach You #japanese bl #Secret Crush on You #SCOY #Thail Bl #Jun & Jun #Korean BL #Although not much of it #We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd #2 Moons: ambassador #2 moons 3 #Eternal Yesterday #why r u korea #Bed Frined #Big Dragon #Between Us #my beautiful man #utsukushii kare #minato's laundromat #ghost host ghost house #My Personal Weatherman #i feel you linger in the air #Old Fashion Cupcake #i told sunset about you #Love in Translation

[shibaraki]

WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME ┊ MIDORIYA IZUKU

synopsis: when your sailboat is caught in a vicious storm you are saved by a whale sized mer that cannot keep his curiosity—nor his affections—at bay.

tags: GN reader, suggestive, merfolk au, giant mer deku, storms + boating accidents, language barrier, a little angst, fluff, near drowning + mild injury (no detailed desc), courting behaviours, modern fantasy, macro/micro, manhandling (literally), hopeful ending

wc: 6.4K

↳ for the mermay collab hosted by the teahouse server! ↰

There’s little you remember. A breeze carrying the taste of sea salt grew bitter and cutting. The gentle lull of the waves slowly grew treacherous. Freezing sheets of grey rain blurred visibility, ocean foaming at the mouth. You lurched as the boat tipped, taking a hit to the head on the main mast. Grappling with consciousness, you recall how your body had been flung into the depths, a sharp and endless cradle; cold enough, kind enough, that you quickly lost all sensation.

Then you’re gasping desperately. When your lungs fill with cool night air relief floods your system. An ache wracks your being, muscles seizing and bones rattling, but the only thing you can think is: I’m alive. I’m alive. I’m alive.

Everything comes back in small pieces. You slump back and clutch at your soaked shirt, wincing at the bruising around your lungs with each breath. Above is a wide open sky littered with stars and the moon hangs high. You notice that you’re floating then; not on the surface of the water but in a steep puddle that stops above your waist, clothes entirely soaked. Surrounding you are… walls?

Adjusted to the darkness, your eyes drag cautiously across them. They are curved like a bowl, and seem oddly shelved, quite similar to a cupped human hand except much bigger. As that thought crosses your mind the upper shelf moves, and the two walls turn inward, opening a small crevice underneath you to let the water spill back into the sea.

And then a soft lucid croon vibrates through the air. You feel it deep in your chest; the sound is soothing, like a mother’s hum, pressing on an old, innate need for comfort.

Gravity swoops through your belly as the structure moves. Down come the walls. They lay slightly flat, though still keeping you in a shallow divot. Your eyes squeeze shut and sting. The storm must have killed you because what is plain to see could only be conjured in a dream.

The size of a small blue whale— neither blue nor whale. A soft jaw and a pale face, cheeked covered in what appeared to be sunspots. Full lips parted to warble in quiet wonder, revealing a set of large sharp teeth. Either side of the creature's neck are diaphanous slits. Gills. Smatterings of luminescent green scales trail beautifully from the throat to the shoulders. You notice a glow on the ocean’s surface, the rest of his form hidden below.

Rocked off balance as their head dips, dark tendrils of hair clinging to skin, you are met with a pair of large pupil-less eyes. Vibrant green speckled with white, full of curiosity. A few clicks and a whistle echoes into the night. Your tongue feels like a slab of lead, cloven to the roof of your mouth, frozen by unadulterated fear.

It's a mer. It must be. Mer sightings are incredibly rare. You’re in the palm of a legend. A giant one at that.

What you now presume to be the mer’s thumb passes over you cautiously. You flinch despite his obvious attempt at telegraphing the movement. To someone your size it still happens a little too fast. The sinew in your neck hurts, wrung with tension as the thumb stops an inch short of your crown. Seconds elapse. There’s a light pressure, liquid streaming down your face, a back and forth motion, a low warbling.

The mer is petting you.

“Wha—?” your voice comes out rasped, painful as it scratches the inside of your throat. Dissolving into a violent coughing fit, you curl forward with arms crossed over your stomach as you vomit, crying out through the sharp stabs in your ribs. Overhead, the mer whines, and you’re prepared this time as his hands move.

“I’m… I’m okay, I think,” you croaked, mostly to yourself, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. The acrid taste of blood and salt lingers in your teeth. Suddenly, a warm gust of air knocks the wind out of you— the tremors too. The soft hair on your arms prickles at the sudden chill as the warmth retreats, but you’re grateful to be a little dryer.

When you glance up the mer is much closer. His face has gentled into sadness. He'd huffed a breath over you the same way one might do to keep their hands warm. You are struck by the thoughtfulness. Unlike the old stories this mer seemed intent on keeping you alive. So far he has treated you softly, albeit clumsily, and tried to comfort you. Understanding settles over you accompanied by a sense of helplessness. To this mer you are probably nothing more than an injured baby bird.

“Did…” you try to speak louder, the words strained. “Did you save me?”

The moonlight kisses him just right. His expression blooms when you speak, a reflexive trill building in his throat to verbalise happiness. Beneath the mass of curls on his head there are two fin shaped ears fluttering. Giant as he may be, the mer is… cute, as well as devastating.

You swallow and wince. It feels like sandpaper. “Can you understand me?” you ask, purposefully slow. Any local information gathered about merfolk was either a lie or rumour. Some say they can understand spoken word and others don’t. Perhaps this mer had migrated from far away where the human tongue is different. Or maybe it was his first time meeting a person. That would explain the enthusiasm.

You’re given a plaintive blink. Membranous lids first, outer lids after. The muted roll of the waves fills the silence as you gaze at one another, nearly forgetting your question all together as you’re pulled in— wading through sea glass depths. Two pulsing clicks ripple across the open water and you startle out of your reverie.

He tips to meet you halfway. You steel yourself, unsteady as you try to stand, and choke a laugh when the creature nudges his nose into your middle. He rumbles a purr, as though pleased by the proximity. You shudder when it resonates pleasantly through your body.

“Okay that’s—dangerous,” you strain a laugh, bracing against his nose. Fatigue threads its way into your muscles. The adrenaline is beginning to wear off and giving way to a harsh headache. Your eyes close, the only mercy being that it is dark out. The mer exhales another hot breath against your lap.

“Guess you won’t be talking anytime soon,” you continue aloud. A weak smile curls at your lips as you recline to look at him better, “Sorry if I don’t make good company”.

Seeing him cross eyed makes you laugh, even through the tenderness, and you stroke your hand against his cheek; so contrivedly real looking that it seems like it must be a trick. Licking the salt water from your lips, you drag your palms from freckle to freckle, forming patterns and constellations. His skin is deceptively soft. Smooth and slippery— like blubber, you can only assume.

“You’re so gorgeous,” you lean into the hum he is emitting, low and supple. You reach with fingertips stretched to skim along his lower lashes. Closer now you see the green hues in his hair where the light reflects. Though he might not be able to understand the language you hoped your reverence would carry through in your tone. You think perhaps it does; a faint red glow stains his fin tipped ears and happy whistles quake through your bones.

The saccharine moment is cut short by something splashing nearby. It sounds big. You startle with a yelp, cowering back into the safety of the mer’s hand. Glancing back over his shoulder, face crinkled and lips thin, you thought he looked almost petulant. How unsettlingly human it is.

Collapsing into a puddle of vertigo, you clutch your head as he suddenly turns. A sad trill reverberates in your skull and you’re sliding, the too-corporeal ground rising to meet you. You land with a thump on damp wood where he puts you down, forcing a pained wheeze from your throat.

Another splash. This time it is followed by a stern wailing call that forces a frantic urgency into the mer’s movements. From above he looks between you and the black horizon, eyes wide and beseeching, as though he wanted to impress his intentions with his gaze. You think you get it.

I’ll be back soon, he’s saying. “Go,” you try to smile and gesture to your surroundings. “It’s not like I can go anywhere anytime soon”.

Relief colours his features. Then he’s gone. Sinking into the ocean like a stone, frighteningly silent. The boat rolls over a passing wave and nausea churns in your stomach. You squint through the moonlight, dizzy, and make out the limp flapping material of the sail, now torn and strewn across the deck. Good enough.

You gather strength and stretch to pull it over your form. If drowning didn’t take you then hypothermia would. Dark spots gather in your vision, closing in as you curl into yourself. The ocean rocks you gently in her arms. You can only lie back—on what you now know to be remains of the boat—listen to the rasp in your breathing, watch the flickering stars blur together, and think of how small you really are.

When you wake the sky is bleeding into dawn with the quieting rays of light. Soft enough that you can look directly at the sun and see the blushing canvas it paints. Sitting up with a wounded groan, you stare at the far off horizon. You cannot discern where reality began and your dreams ended, only that at some point you walked between them.

Tugging the tarp close to your chest you survey the surroundings. Pinpricks of seawater spray up the hull. The mast has been snapped in half and the main sails are gone along with the helm. Below the cabin is flooded. Most of the resources you brought, along with the VHF radio, have seemingly gone overboard.

Your lips are unbearably dry. Skin splits, iron mixing with salt. You inhale deeply, lungs bloating with crisp air, and exhale raggedly through the soreness. First priority is water. Like a newborn calf you amble over to the hatch. There are coolers fixed to the floors under the cockpit that you hope survived—

One broken and empty. One mostly undamaged.

“C’mon… Please…” opening the lock is more strenuous than it should be. Your fingers tremble and slip, still numb. A sob wracks your body. Relief buckles you at the knees and you brace against the counter. Inside is an emergency flare gun and an assortment of non perishables, including biscuits and bottled water.

You fumble with the bottle cap, shaking as you bring it to your mouth. It immediately soothes your throat and you begin to gulp mouthfuls, pulling off only for breath. Tearing the biscuit packet open with your teeth you settle back in the spot you slept on. It crumbles, dry enough to stick to the roof of your mouth, but food is food.

Two things are certain. You’re stuck here, and you have no idea how far off course the storm threw you. You shoot the first flare, a bright red vein soaring into the sky, leaving you with nothing to do but wait. The gun had at least three more rounds. Would anybody see it out here?

Another streak of light flares as the sun rises and casts an orange shimmer across the ocean surface. The giant mer crosses your thoughts as your eyes drag over the large indent pressed into the side of the boat. Though unsure if he existed at all you miss the security of his hands.

You lose focus listening to the sea exhale. Barely cognisant of the formless blur spreading like ink in the distance, growing in size the closer it gets. It slows a few feet away and the momentum has waves jolting through the water. Scrambling to grab the side of the boat as it jerks, ice grips at your heart when you notice the huge shadow lingering nearby.

When it rises the blur sharpens and takes shape. Features distort, rippling under the tide, and you daren’t blink. Eyes of sea glass stare back with equal hesitance. Cool morning light reflects off dark green curls, strands laid to a pale forehead, flat and reminiscent of wet seaweed. The surface breaks dramatically, water rushing down his head and fizzling into foam.

You release a staggered breath, realising you’d been holding it. A mer really had saved you. In daylight you can appreciate the sheer size of him. Shoulders near the width of your boat, covered in opalescent scales and dark scars.

Emboldened by your silence a careful hum vibrates in his throat. His gills pulse and flutter as he comes in closer. The sun is eclipsed by his hand, shadows looming across the deck where his fingers come to rest. Careful, retreating quickly when the structure groans, and then returning again, gentler.

“You… came back,” you whisper. Disbelief bleeds into your voice. A needling sensation flows to your legs as you stand. You grasp his fingertip and the mer smiles— a trill behind his lips, stretched warmly across his face, enough to lift the swell of his freckled cheeks. Light undulates brightly in his eyes, swaying like patterns you see on the seafloor.

“It’s good to know I didn’t lose my mind,” a wave of uncertainty washes over you as the mer watches you expectantly. There’s a clear intelligence in his gaze, rapt inquisitiveness, but you can’t yet be sure he really understands. Equally, you know precisely nothing about mer social etiquette. “Does this make us friends? You’re friendly, right? I hope so. I probably taste like shit, you know”.

Ignoring his curious hum you brace against his hand and lean toward the edge of the deck. Illuminated by the sunlit hues, more of his upper body is visible to you. Waves lap placidly up a strong chest, smooth muscled pecs glistening. The scales spanning his flanks are notably larger and thicker.

You wonder the science behind his existence, if it was simply work of the Gods, or there was some reason for him to be so egregiously large. Merfolk have always been depicted as human sized or close enough to it. “...Guess I should give you a name. You’re pretty green. Midori? Too simple. How about Midoriya?”

His finger wiggles slightly with a playful whistle, happy about the name. It bends to curl around you. Even a slight shift causes the boat to dip. What must be an imperceptible movement for him nearly knocks you on your feet. “Ah—Steady!” your yelp scratches at the inside of your throat and nausea pulses hot in your stomach. “Oh, fuck. That sucked”.

Midoriya’s head tilts and he croons. It sounds apologetic. “Just go easy with me, alright? You could probably squash me like a bug,” you squint at the folds in his finger, and further at the gossamer webbing in the spaces between each knuckle as your stomach twists uncomfortably in hunger. Asking him to bring you fish would probably be futile.

Patting the firm heel you move away from his hand and dismiss his solemn whine. For a creature his size he sure was a bundle of nerves. “Don’t panic. I just need to eat something,” you pick the bottled water up once more and sip, keeping it held in your mouth for a few precious seconds. The sun flares as the giant creature moves silently, leaning in closer. He huffs through his nose at the food packets.

“Nu-uh, you can’t have these. They’re mine,” the biscuit falls apart, sodden between your damp fingers. Tasteless and yet not so insipid now that you’re with company. Swallowing thickly, you watch the large body bob and dither beside the boat, scrutinising your every move.

Hell, you’re not even doing anything particularly interesting. This must be how animals feel in zoos.

Dragging your gaze to the skies your thoughts turn toward getting home. There is nothing for miles. Laid out before you is a near seamless horizon, planes blurring together the longer you look. “Hey, Midoriya. Are you the only one out here, or are there more?” Whales were your first thought. They traveled in pods, to your knowledge. “Is that who called out to you last night?”

Midoriya’s answer comes in wide eyed blinks. A self deprecating smile thins across your lips. The lack of response is expected, though you are struck by the quick flash of emotion crossing his expression as you say, “Nevermind. As long as nothing comes around to eat me before I die on this stupid boat”.

Midoriya pouts. Shakes his head and makes it rain. He clicks firmly before descending into the depths again. You panic and scramble closer to the edge, wondering if you’d upset him, but find that he is lazily circling the area back and forth. His hair moves in soft tendrils around his face, dancing along the current. Your eyes widen, mouth open in awe as he dives lower and suddenly—

Opalescent hues of green and red. Breaching the surface Midoriya arcs his body into the air and twists his torso in your direction, arms splayed out in joy. There isn’t enough time to appreciate him all. His lower half is longer than his upper body, thicker at his waist bordered by wispy iridescent pelvic fins that flare in the breeze, another running the length of his spine. The tail tapers, narrowing toward a large fork ending with two broad fins.

He lands with a great splash. Exhilarated laughter shakes your shoulders as you cling to the nearest fixture, swaying clumsily over the oncoming waves. You squint through the thin spray. White sea foam ripples out in wide rings, sparkling softly under the sun and dissolving in the calm.

“Holy shit,” adrenaline numbs the tenderness throbbing in your gullet. Midoriya jumps again as he draws closer to you, this time with less height, and you cup your hands around your mouth to cheer for him. His beaming grin is all sharp teeth when he resurfaces, finned ears vibrating. He looks happy that you’re happy.

Part of you remains one foot in disbelief. You expect that anytime now you will wake up washed up on an old forgotten beach. Another cannot discount how real the mer feels under your palms as you reach for him, the vibration of his pleased hum shaking your bones and warming your belly. Midoriya rises up into the insignificant touch like a pampered feline and forces your arms wider to accept more of him.

A strong briney smell fills your senses. “That was incredible. Were you trying to cheer me up?” plastered to his cheek in some poor imitation of a hug, you press an exaggerated kiss to his cheek. A glow spreads across his skin like circuitry, crossing over his nose bridge, flushed red. It makes the air taste metallic. You feel another warm exhale billowing where his own mouth pouts, pushing against your lap. Tears prickle behind your eyes and you blink them away as the anxiety in your chest recedes, “Thanks, big guy”.

Midoriya keeps you company well into the day, never straying too far. You acclimate to his presence and feel at ease with him by your side. Hair half dry in the softening light of the afternoon sun he lets you coil his waves around your arm with eyes crinkled at the corners. He doesn’t appear to be bored in the slightest.

You’re kept under his watchful eyes as you amble around what remains of the boat for something, anything, that might help you get home. At one point you wade into the flooded cabin and search for the HF radio again only to be bombarded by a cornucopia of concerned wailing. Lesson learned: Midoriya does not like when you’re out of sight. You come up empty handed, vexed and dizzy.

There are a few instances you’re almost tipped over despite Midoriya’s determination to be careful. One by one, you are gifted with more current-smoothed stones and rusted trinkets than you know how to carry. His curious hand pokes at the broken equipment strewn around. You end up rambling for hours, explaining each gifted object to him to keep yourself conscious. It’s not as if the mer is an unwilling participant. You might be unable to understand him but the stuttered clicking and whistles he responds with are as close to conversation as you're going to get. Plus— it’s cute.

Noon elapses and no vessels in sight. Now laid beside the indent left in the hull, your vision rises and falls as the ocean shifts. Midoriya lies parallel to you, on his back, buoyed on the surface and sunning himself. He looks a lot more vibrant than before, as though he had really soaked up the daylight. A true picture of serenity. His eyes are closed for the first time; an opportunity to observe him candidly.

There are deep scars on his arms, and elsewhere too. Healed pink on skin and pallid white where his scales would be. Your gaze drags lower, over his bare front, appreciating the defined peaks of his abdomen. Down to a toned navel where scales climb over his hip bones, pale skin gradually blending into rich green. Further, to the powerful muscled tail elevated in the water. You absentmindedly lick your lips and wonder where his di—

You halt. Heat flashes through his body in a strange mix of shame and arousal and you violently shake your head as if to throw away the thought.

Midoriya hums. Snapping back you meet that drowsy half lidded stare, caught red handed. You gulp and offer a sheepish grin, “Sorry. I just wanted a closer look”.

At that the mer turns noiselessly and broad ripples fan out into the distance. Cautious, you push up onto your forearms as Midoriya proffered his hand, indicating that you jump onto his palm. Your spine straightens with a frisson of excitement.

“You’ll let me see?” you gestures to yourself and then to the others' languid repose. Midoriya’s eyelids blink. He tilts expectantly. “Fuck. Okay. Promise to catch me?”

Click, click, whistle. It’s as good a ‘yes’ as any.

Weak in the knees, you feel your thighs ache as you move. A rush of wind blows over, sharp and chilly. Your pulse throbs and knocks around your skull. It’s more strenuous than it should be to climb down, a deep instinct unwilling to part with the railings, fighting fear as you hang your lower body over the depths.

Midoriya scoops you up delicately. Your stomach rolls at the sudden change in direction, gravity bearing down on you. You land in the shallow of his palm on hands and knees. Head lifted, you lock eyes, and a sonorous trill thrums through your veins.

“What did I say about being caref—Hey!”

He brings you to his chest. Legs unfurl from under your hips as you slide down onto his collar and land feet first in the ankle deep water covering his body, soaking your pants through. Midoriya is safe, solid ground beneath you, buoyed on the ocean surface, yet still uniquely soft in the way relaxed muscle often is.

You keep tension in your abdomen for balance and give a cursory glance, first seeking permission before wading toward the cluster of green curling around his shoulders. A webwork glow blooms quietly across his skin and hems the edge of his scales red.

Midoriya’s pleased face takes up most of your peripheral vision. A plump mouth filled with pointed teeth that could swallow you whole juxtaposed by the wobbly smile playing on his lips. You crouch, knees wet, and brush your fingers against the hard plates decorating his skin. They’re slightly slimy and the smallest ones are the size of your hand.

“They’re beautiful, Midoriya,” you tell him earnestly, grinning. The kaleidoscopic patterns in his irises appear as though they’re dancing. Flecks of white and gold gleam amidst the green. Humming in dulcet tones, heavy streams of seawater rain down on you as his thumb comes to rest atop your head once again. There’s barely any pressure— seems you no longer need to worry that he might accidentally break your neck.

You squeezed your eyes shut, exhaling harshly as the thick rivulets trickled over your face and glaring the second you looked back at him. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” your nose wrinkles, brine lingering unpleasantly in his nostrils. You think you can taste it in the back of your throat. Deku is busy preening, turned into the crook of his arm and creating waves, flustered by such a simple compliment.

A cherry blush follows the path of your thumb as it returns to smoothing over the tiny ridges impressed into each individual scale; retaining your heat for a few seconds before fading into green. They flash luridly at your words—specifically your praise. Knowing you had such an effect on a mer of his magnitude stokes something in you, possessive and fond, a feeling you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to replicate. But it also confirmed what you had been suspecting for most of the day.

“I knew it. You can understand me,” you accuse breathlessly. It isn’t a question. “You’ve been pretending this entire time”.

Midoriya’s expression wanes. His brows pinch into a doleful frown, eyes crossing to tentatively watch you stand and trudge toward his tucked chin, almost losing balance where his collarbones dip and the water suddenly deepens.

Fingers nudged under your thighs to act as a seat. You startle at the sudden elevation; it’s still surreal to feel the ground collapse beneath your feet, your knees collapsing against the pressure. Midoriya brings you up to his face, letting his tail sink into an upright position. Gasp caught in your throat you frantically hang onto the end of his nose. The large mer whistles quietly. Low and forlorn like an apology.

From up here you’re all too aware of up and down— endless in every direction, surrounded by a flat canvas of blue. He’s the only thing you can see for miles. Bottom low caught between your teeth you turn inward, squashing your cheek against him.

“You know I can’t stay here, right?” you tell him. Midoriya listens attentively. You’re close enough to hear the soft slide of lids drawing across his eyes, stained gills venting as he breathes, the waves crashing against his back. You point to the far horizon, “I need to go home, or close to it. Think you can help me one more time, hero?”

You aren’t prepared for the mer to sulk. The lower half of his face slips beneath the water and you’re face to face with a freckled forehead. Looking up at you now, eyes big and round like a puppy, he blows air out from his mouth to create a sad burst of bubbles. You had vastly underestimated his attachment to you; and your own fast-grown affection for him.

But he nods anyway, setting you back on the worn deck and righting his posture. Unfounded guilt squirms in your chest, tightening as you relays the plan in simple terms, knowing that these would probably be your final moments with him.

Get nearer to the shore and fire a flare. That was the plan. He pointed in a specific direction when you asked if he knew where the land was. Unable to understand his complex vocalisations you simply needed to trust he could do it. Easy— the day will darken so the flare will be more visible against the gloaming. You could play the fool and claim the tide brought you in. Most importantly there was no risk of Midoriya being seen and put in danger.

As the sky dims the sun begins to sheath itself below the horizon. The numbness spreading through your limbs at least meant you couldn’t feel the cold.

“We don’t need to get too close,” you kneel over the edge of the bow to speak to him. Hands that held you delicately are now wrapped around the hull, ready to push. “Your kind stays hidden for a reason, right? I don’t want people trying to come after you”.

You consider the gleam in his gaze. Appreciative and amused, as though he found it endearing that you would be worried about him. “That confident, huh?”

Receiving a toothy grin—eyes closing and smiling with him— you find you’re no longer nervous.

Consistently gentle, Midoriya guides the boat. The ocean parts around the oncoming obstruction and leaves behind a long trail of foam. That red network of veins returns, glowing across his upper body as the velocity increases, his powerfully muscled tail working to propel you forward and glinting in the warm evening light.

You call for him to stop when the distant skyline becomes uneven, the familiar bumps and divots of mountains near your port town and the islands surrounding it. The mer brakes abruptly, tall waves crashing up over the deck as your body is thrown backward, narrowly missing the broken mast. You can hear the various gifts he gave you rolling into one another over his frantic stuttered clicks as Midoriya tries to get a look in.

“I’m okay! I’m alive,” barely, you think. There’s a worrisome pain in your rib you can’t let yourself think about. The ground beneath you tips as his fingers come to rest on the boat's edge. You begin to slide on your ass, unceremoniously careening toward him, vertigo flooding your senses.

Midoriya catches you, murmuring at your spluttered curses. Abruptly, you cover his mouth and swallow the acrid bile crawling up your throat, mustering up a tired glare. Heart palpitating, it echoes harshly through your body. The muscles in your legs are heavy like wet sand and your vision doubles, overlaps, and then rights itself.

“Starting to think you like manhandling me,” you croaked teasingly. It’s a testament to Midoriya’s attentiveness that he hasn’t accidentally killed you yet. Though you wouldn’t be surprised if most of your organs had completely rearranged themselves given how you’ve been thrown around in the past few hours.

The playful air dwindles when reality rears it's head. “…I guess this is it, hero”.

There’s that sad sorry sound again. Melancholy bleeds into the atmosphere as silence befalls the two of you. Staring intently at one another, committing faces to memory; kiss curls tucked behind ears, faint sunspots, scales of green and honeydew, the luminescence that belies his true emotions. You wondered what Midoriya saw as he looked back at you. Just a silly lost human.

“Thank you, Midoriya,” your palm cups his cheek, thumb stroking beneath his eye, a touch that probably feels like an itch. He leans into it anyway. “You saved me twice now. I’ll never forget this”.

A mellifluous song thrummed in his throat. You feel the vibrations under your hand and it seeps honeyed and sweet into your bones. Outlined in soft evening light against a dusky sky, Midoriya nuzzles you one last time.

You’re anchored by unexpected grief when he sets you down. The hull rocks as the tide rolls. Water cascades down his scarred forearm as he lifts it up, fist unfurling to reveal a single scale. His scale.

You gape. “You’re giving me this…?”

He suddenly looks painfully bashful you scrambled to take it; a scale still wrought with luminescent colour, alive, still connected to him in ways he may never understand. Having it, holding him. Even after you were home Midoriya would be with you.

Emotion swells within you, struck by the trust you’ve been given. Merfolk remain a mystery for a reason. Human greed knows no bounds and money would be no object if you decided to sell him out.

“Thank you, I—I promise I’ll keep it safe. And you, Midoriya. I won't tell anyone,” you vowed, cradling the scale close.

Shadows widen across the bow as he then rises up ever so slightly. Midoriya dipped his chin. Your eyes reflexively clenched shut at the wet pillowy press of his lips taking up the entire left side of your face. A kiss. Seawater rivulets drop down to your collar, soaking into the fabric. Before you can speak he does it again, lower this time. Mouth pressed to your front, beginning at your chest and ending at your navel. A purr rumbles in his throat. You shudder, thighs clenching as the titillating vibrations reverberate between them.

When Midoriya pulls back his finned ears are vibrating earnestly and his scales flush red. The surface of the water is suddenly displaced and the waves are forced in every direction as he darts away from the boat with a trill, resurfacing a few feet away. “I see how it is. The type to hit and quit, eh?” your voice grows louder, lips twitching into a besotted smile. Egregiously lightheaded and giddy, you yell out, “I’ll miss you, Midoriya! Don’t forget about me!”

Midoriya responds in kind. He waves coyly—understanding more than he lets on—yet remains at a distance until the flare is lit. It arced far into the darkened sky with a quiet hiss, casting a spotlight over your stranded vessel, and only when lights blink in the distance does he disappear from view.

You tuck the scale into your waistband, concealed beneath your shirt. The rescue boat approaches at high speeds. Garish red with a v-shaped hull, cutting through the sea to reach you. There’s a five person squad sidling up at your side, immediately tending to any major injuries and tightly strapping a thick orange life jacket around your upper half.

“What happened?”

“Got caught in the storm last night. Was stranded until the tide brought me in”.

“Do you know your name?” You give it in full along with your birthday. “Are you dizzy? Nauseous?” More than they can imagine.

Concussion, they tell you. Fractures, probably.

“What’s all this?”

“Oh, that…” you turned to gaze at the collection of things Midoriya brought to you throughout the afternoon. “That was there when I woke up here”.

“Strange. Maybe a mer took a liking to ya,” the man, Oda, grins. His mouth is crooked, speaking in a tone meant to be playful.

“What makes you say that?”

He blinks, expression dimming. “Never heard the stories?” You shake your head. “Sailors used to say finding gifts an’ sea stones on board was an omen. Especially the shiny ones. Meant a mer wanted to seduce you”.

Another voice, their name escapes you, interrupts. “Eh? I thought they did that whole singing thing?”

Oda yanks a blanket around your shoulders with more force than necessary as he shoots his crew mate an exasperated glare. “That’s sirens, idiot”.

“What’s the difference?”

You tune out their bickering, acutely aware of all the polished stones in the pile. Of the scale hidden flat to your back. You look to the calm dark surface, throat swelling at the implication. Hand held to your left cheek you feel the plush impression of Midoriya’s lips like a phantom. Accepting his offerings— what had that meant? To him, to you?

The muffled voices come back into focus as Oda rounds on you once more, encouraging you onto the rescue vessel. “C’mon, let’s get’cha home. And don’t stress the big stuff, we’ll tow your boat in”.

You can’t take your eyes off the ocean, aching. The distinct feeling that you have misplaced something incredibly important sits poignantly in the recesses of your mind. It sees you to the dock, strong-armed into an ambulance because your legs have forgotten what solid earth is, and when the doors slam shut to obstruct the view your chest hollows out.

The hour is past midnight and the streets are empty. Miraculously you're mostly unharmed. You make it home with bruising, hairline fractures and a bad concussion. Your body looked a bit like a pollock painting if you squinted, blue and black converging on one another around your skin, vascular threads of purple hemming your ribcage. Painkillers dulled the pain enough that movement was tolerable.

Oda kept his word, decent enough to salvage your things. They are lumped together in a crate hidden in the doorway, an ever present reminder that what happened was real, not a figment of your concussed imagination. The scale remained awkwardly concealed under your shirt. You peel off your clothes, taking it between your hands. Vision adjusted to the darkness, you see a fleeting shimmer passing through the ridges, reflecting on your bedroom walls before dimming.

You climb into bed, plagued by thoughts of Midoriya. His plaintive farewell song, the reverent stars in his eyes whenever you spoke, the affectionate lean into your every touch. You should leave it alone. Let it be. A sane person would allow the memory age naturally and change into a story to recite over sake for years to come. After all, sometimes things just happened to you, like gravity or grief— or being the object of affection for a mer about the size of two school buses.

Scale cuddled to your front, the memory of his mouth laid itself against your sternum. It pins you to the mattress and begin to hum. The notes are almost tangible, echoing through skin, close-lipped and soothing. A final thought bleeds into your consciousness as it slips:

You hope you can find him again.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #deku x reader

[lazyyogi]

Spring Renewal: Healing from Time

Feeling lethargic, unfocused, or apathetic despite the onset of Spring? You may benefit from the practice of Renewal.

In this post:

What is the purpose of renewal and why do we need it? -> How burdens accumulate through the passage of time -> Timeless = freshness

Technical elements of renewal practices: -> Recapitulation -> Defragmentation -> Trauma shard release -> Reclamation of loaned energies

When we rinse away the dust of wear & tear and shed the accumulated burdens of time, we experience renewal. We regain a feeling of the timeless brightness that was once so natural to us.

Time exists for us as memory of past and imagination of the future, but also in the way we interpret the present according to those memories and imaginations. 

Time exists in this moment as the imprints we have absorbed in the form of judgments and beliefs as well as the ways in which our repeated experiences have dulled our senses.

Think of an older adult. How they are as living beings is mainly shaped by the ways in which they have accumulated time: the weight of lifestyle choices on the physical body, the definitions and perceptions fixed into the mind, and the various forms of conditioning programmed by life experiences.

A common reason for low levels of energy and enthusiasm in adults is due to the accumulation of time, which leads to a state of staleness.

Now think of an infant, a creature who embodies the very essence of newness: unburdened by imprints or conditioning, undistracted by thoughts of past or future, undefended in their naked experience of consciousness in the moment.

An infant radiates freshness.

Habituation and conditioning are the marks left in the subtle (energy) body by the passage of time. Some of that is useful and part of what makes us more functional than an infant. But much if not most of this is accumulated garbage.

Just as a diamond coated in dust still possesses its inherent luster and clarity, so too do we still possess that freshness of infancy. Such is the esoteric meaning of "innocence." It can be obscured but it can never be lost.

When we engage in renewing practices, we first recognize and then rejoice in our fundamental essence. It has not gone anywhere, nor will it ever. It is us. Only, it can be forgotten and therefore go unknown and unseen. So, we dust off the diamond.

There are many ways to discuss the elements of self-renewal. In this post, I will address four of them.

The first is recapitulation.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." ~ Maya Angelou

"They believed that by means of the recapitulation, however, they could acquire a degree of control that could permit them to separate their life experiences from their life force." ~ Carlos Castaneda

The events of our lives, and the way we experience them, invariably impact us deeply. Sometimes it's a good thing, leading to self-discovery and inspiration. Yet at times it can be traumatic, confusing, and weakening. Especially when we unquestionably believe that we are those experiences.

When this happens, our enthusiasm and brightness (in other words our energy) becomes drained and muted. Through recapitulation, there is a therapeutic and cathartic disentanglement of our living reality from our past history. We can still reference our memory of the past for practical purposes but we are no longer reduced or limited by our past experiences.

The next two elements are defragmentation and trauma shard release.

Like a computer, we don't always develop in an orderly and optimized fashion. It's not surprising when you consider the disjointed and fast paced unfolding of experiences from the moment we wake up to when we go to sleep. Unfinished thoughts, half-baked daydreams, subconscious micro-emotions, and more all swirling just out of sight of our conscious attention. In a sense, we play host to fragments in many forms within us.

Related to this is the piercing placement of traumatic shards within our minds and bodies. A trauma is an experience that overwhelms and bypasses our capacity for healthy processing. In an acute form, when its fresh, it can cause us persistent distress in several ways and we will consciously suffer. In a chronic form, it can be more subtle in the form of triggers, crippling fears, avoidance and dependance behaviors, and more. These tend to be semi-conscious due to the way the trauma has integrated into your sense of self or identity. Any suggestion of being free from that trauma can feel like an affront on your identity, your self.

Instead of dealing with the discomfort of the healing process, many will instead resign themselves to coping mechanisms designed to prevent the re-activation of their traumatic wounds.

The burden of fragments and traumatic shards are just a few examples of how we carry time inside of us.

Lastly is the reclamation of loaned energies.

Through our prayers, intentions, and karmas, we have become involved with the paths and energies of other beings--be they people, animals, or other forms of sentience. This may be positive or negative, such as beings you have supported emotionally or beings with whom you have engaged previously in repeated conflicts. Those connections can persist on subconscious levels, influencing and siphoning our energies.

Through the practice of self-renewal, we can call all of those energies back to us and sever the obsolete connections that remain. This leaves us fresh and capable of forming new connections while moving forward from a place more whole and wise.

For a practice to reach down deep enough to be more than just a momentary relaxation or distraction, it must touch our fundamental nature: primordial awareness. This is the stainless diamond beneath the dust of time.

It is from that stainless place of beingness within us all that we can find both the perspective and the power necessary to free ourselves from the accumulated burdens of time.

Next up will be a sequel post about combining these elements to find a renewal practice that works for you.

LY

#renewal #spirituality #yoga #buddhism #consciousness #awareness #philosophy #zen #mindfulness #meditation #inspiration

[animalshowdown]

Phylum Round 1

Acanthocephala: Spiny-Headed Worms. These internal parasitic worms have a proboscis that they can evert outside of their body. The proboscis has a "head" of spines, which is used to hold onto the host. They have no mouth or stomach, but absorb nutrients directly from the host through their skin. Acanthocephalans, similar to some other parasitic phyla, are notable for having complex life cycles that involve multiple different hosts. Some species are able to alter the behavior of their intermediate crustacean hosts.

Tardigrada: Water Bears or Moss Piglets. These micro-animals have been found on every continent, including Antarctica. They are well-known for their ability to survive extreme conditions such as dangerous radiation, extreme heat/cold, or lack of food and water. Members of Tardigrada have even been studied on space missions, and survived the vacuum of space. They can endure these conditions by entering a "tun" state, where they lose almost all of their water and slow all their life systems to a near-stop. Tardigrades live on moist mosses and lichens, but can survive when their habitat dries out, and reawaken when water returns.

#micro royale #cw parasites #acanthocephala #tardigrada #animal bracket #tumblr bracket #bracket tournament #poll bracket #phylum round 1 #phylum

[tartarusknight]

The King of the Freaks | Pt 4

(Yes I am too lazy to keep writing that long title so it’s been changed from now on...)

Ao3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Eddie was kinda pissed as he stabbed at the food on his tray. "You sure they said we can't?" Gareth question, and he sounded just as Eddie felt.

"They said that we couldn't do this week," Eddie said again, and he glanced up as Steve moved to sit down next to Jeff. He was pulling something out of his backpack and it was the first time since that first time that Steve actually sat with them.

"What can't you guys do?" Steve questioned as he pulled out a container of cookies and slid them over to Jeff.

Jeff lit up even as the others looked confused. "We can't do Hellfire this week. Apparently, the drama club needs the drama room this week." Jeff explains, and Steve pauses.

His face makes a hundred micro expressions before he shrugs, "You could do it at my house. I don't really care." Steve states and moves to stand back up hit Jeff pulls him back down. "Uh, what?"

He looks confused, and it's unfair because it seems like the moment they should be confused. "Three questions. First I thought you had swimming? Second, why would you let us do it at your house? Most parents think we are a cult, and I doubt your parents would think differently. And lastly, what's up with the cookies?"

Steve looks a little embarrassed as he's forced to stay there. But he meets Eddie's gaze. "First, I do have swimming, but I don't care. Come over that night or another if you really care. Second, my parents are in either Beijing or Belgium right now, so they don't get an opinion. And the cookies are for Jeff because he helped me last weekend. He can share, or he doesn't have to, I don't care."

Eddie blinks, "you'd let us be at your house without you there?"

"Sure, why not. I doubt you'll trash the entire place. And even if you do, there's not much you could do I haven't seen before. I've had enough parties to get good at cleaning up." Steve states, and Eddie looks at the others, trying to see if they're just as confused.

"That's amazing, dude! How about we get pizza, since you'll host?" Jeff offers, and Steve gives them a tight smile. Eddie's not sure if it's because of the topic of food or the idea that they're going to take him up on the offer. 

Steve nods and it’s a little sharp, “Right. Yeah just let me know date and time.” He pauses and goes back to his bag. He pauses before he can pull whatever he’s grabbed before steeling himself. “Here, just in case I’m busy.” He drops a key onto the table and practically bolts from the table. 

Eddie waits for him to come back and take the key with a sike. But he doesn’t, instead Eddie sees him dodge Billy’s foot and escape out of the lunch room. “Here I thought we were adopting him.” Gareth mused and picked up the key. Jeff smacked him and took the key. “Hey!” Gareth complains. 

“Yeah, I’ve actually been to his house so...” Jeff points out.

That gets Eddie back up and moving, “yeah. About that, what the hell?”

Jeff laughs, “I helped him cook. He’s been struggling with meet lately and you know my sister.” Eddie nods because it does make sense but at the same time it makes zero sense. “I bumped into him at the store...” Jeff trails off, “I think we need to try harder.”

“Harder?” Eddie squeaked and his friends gave him a look that he really wished he didn’t know. 

Jeff doesn’t let that stop him though. “Well, I thought it was bad enough going from top dog to the new top dog’s chew toy but the guy is struggling. He only had condiments in his fridge even though he told me he was a good cook, which he is. Apparently he has no clue where his parents are at the moment. He had a guess but that was it. And! He has no clue when they’re coming back. I asked and he laughed it off saying maybe for Christmas. Christmas.”

“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet!” Grant states and Jeff nods. 

Gareth sighs, “I’ve been bothering him during my free period. Normally just working on shit next to him... but the dude is not okay. He squints when he reads like he can’t see it well. I’m pretty sure he’s been getting migraines since he fought with Billy. And I’m 80% sure he’s partially deaf in his left ear. Cause if I whisper on that side he never responds. But he will when I sit on his right.”

“He never eats lunch,” Eddie sighs. “He always tears his food apart to make it look like he’s eating. If his fridge is empty than he might not be eating that often.”

“Well shit,” Grant sighs. “But how do we help him without it being weird.”

Eddie presses his hands together under his chin to think. “Okay, so we stop with the subtle friendship and go for it. If we’re his best friends then maybe he’ll let us help him.”

“So operation make Steve Harrington friendship bracelets is ago.” Gareth grins and Jeff throws a grape at him. 

They already had access to the boy’s house. How hard could it be?

@zerokrox-bloglog @cyranyxx @adaed5 @the-redthreadd @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaringceyoustopcaring @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshitorthisshit @failedstarsandgoldencloudsds @bisexualdisastersworldd @deadlydodoss @anythingyouwanttobee @nburkhardtt @bestwifehaverr @thehumblefigtreee @megzdoodlee @swimmingbirdrunningrockk @mightbeasleepp @bxlthazarar @autumnal-dawnn @chillichatss @nonbinary-eddie-munsonon @the-daydreamer-in-the-cornerner @eddie-munson-is-my-wifewife @a-little-unsteddiedie @sharingisntkaren @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @0o-queendean-o0 @beckkthewreck @vi-an-te @vampireinthesun @newtstabber @dinosareawesome2137  @spicemallow @hellomynameismoo  @luthienstormblessed @briceslayed @angeldreamsoffanfic @dbquills

#spoliers it will not be easy #but they are determined #steve won't know what hit him #and no this isn't their first steve meeting #stranger things #season 2 au #steve needs a hug #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie #corroded coffin #hellfire club #i love these idiots #everyone is a dork and i love them so much #the fallen king and the king of the freaks

[hanasnx]

Kinktober: House of Amateurs - S1E0

MINORS DNI 18+

SUMMARY: behind the scenes | background, rules, & credit.

KRAYT HOUSE M.LIST | NAVI | INBOX | @KRAYTHOUSE

WC: 0.6k | CHARACTERS: anakin skywalker x f!reader

WARNINGS: f!reader | adult film au | mentioned: sexual content, adult film industry

Debuting as a new, young, hot porn-star on that casting couch redefined your future business opportunities irreversibly. You remember how fun the amateur house you’d stayed at was, crammed with girls lined up and waiting for a callback meanwhile a studio financed their living.

The advertisement from Krayt House found you by chance. Apparently a company as fresh as you were was hungry for a turn in the spotlight. So desperate they managed to recruit the infamous Anakin Skywalker as their main sell.

You’d heard of him, everyone had. One of the girls at the house buzzed constantly over how she’d been lucky enough to be paired with Anakin for her “audition.” In other words, that following Friday he’d fuck her on that casting couch. Jealousy did not come naturally to you, but that day it did.

No matter, you end up meeting him anyway when you’re employed onto the studio’s series House of Amateurs. A level of humor to the name, as if it’s meant to fool its audience into believing it’s a true amateur house. Full of young women eager to debut, and Anakin in charge of running through them all until they’re inducted onto the porn scene. In reality, most— if not all— of these women have their own profiles already.

You couldn’t lie, the concept was appealing. Like a sorority house that you’re paid to be a part of, with co-stars you’re attracted to. The shoot for promo pictures was too much fun. Thirty girls in micro-bikinis attacking each other with whipped cream and silly string, pictures taken of the delectable chaos until the photographer gathered everyone to the center. Girls coated in the various substances, breathing heavy, and surrounding the Anakin Skywalker as he sat in the middle of the couch. Some knelt or sat around his feet at the base of the couch, others stood behind the back of it, and you— as well as a few others— found their place on the cushions next to him. When you took a spot directly to his left, he’d adjusted you, pressing you into his side while his arm laid out behind you.

“Big smiles, everyone! You’re having fun!” the photographer instructed, and your co-stars obliged. Noises of excitement chorused as nozzles upturned to rain down whipped cream and silly string, throwing arms up and bouncing until a flash of the camera light slows the roll. It signaled the end, and the subjects clap in commemoration. You still have the promo picture, and you used to stare at the face Anakin wore. How his knees spread, his fist rested against his temple, a lazy way about him, a leisured countenance that conveyed what a delicious mess he’s in. The biggest surprise by far was how quiet of a person he was. Now, you’ll share a house with him, intent to share all your holes too until the season is over.

hello everyone my name is indy im @hanasnx :) im very excited about this project. definitely read the above background bcos it has important info regarding what krayt house is and what the series house of amateurs is etc etc

some important things to keep in mind:

╰┈➤ this takes place within my pornstar au for anakin. so adultfilm!anakin or pornstar!anakin is the “host” of the show, so to speak. however, it’s pretty much only implied the entire series, you can enjoy the series as is within gffa for the most part. ╰┈➤ this is an x-reader work only, and you’ll be switching povs. its a way to convey that you’re the subject, but you’re just a different person each time. completely seamless transition. anakin can’t play favorites ╰┈➤ this is amateur house meta, the studio plays up the idea you girls are inexperienced or un-established and anakin skywalker is helping you debut officially, when that isnt true within the story ╰┈➤ it’s all f!reader, and mostly dom!anakin

╰┈➤ Must keep room and common areas clean ╰┈➤ No panties ╰┈➤ No toys ╰┈➤ No touching yourself ╰┈➤ Cameras stay on ╰┈➤ Remember your safe words ╰┈➤ Send a word to our creator, @hanasnx about your favorite parts, lines, episodes, or dialogues. Feel free to ask about behind-the-scenes, or opinions.

indy

╰┈➤ writer ╰┈➤ producer ╰┈➤ sponsor ╰┈➤ on-site creative director ╰┈➤ auditor ╰┈➤ social media marketer ╰┈➤ graphic designer: krayt house logo is my personal design, banners using phonto, fonts include helvetica and vogue regular, pictures are from pinterest and virgin territory (2007) edited on picsart.

donnie (@xstarkillerx)

╰┈➤ cameraman ╰┈➤ consultant ╰┈➤ lighting director ╰┈➤ audio quality assurance ╰┈➤ graphic designer: the text design on the krayt house logo ╰┈➤ intimacy coordinator

malley (@villainsoftheweek)

╰┈➤ chief motivator ╰┈➤ my good girl

cast

╰┈➤ anakin skywalker ╰┈➤ you

and last but not least, huge thanks to you for reading and enjoying. taglist below:

@justadmiringanakin @anisbaby @hardlyparker @whistle1whistle @forcemeanakin @xstarkillerx @jumpsoffacliff @bimbo-baggins86 @sisnxsty @oilfics @silxani @teamoankin @kitwalkersfavoritewhore @obsessedrebel @ssaaaronhotchnerr @cherrycheryi @spidervixen @carefullycontrolledchaos @clover444leaf @similarlyso @your-new-favorite69 @kaminokatie @nightingal22 @anak1nsx @hot-and-confused @haroldronald @sythethecarrot @haydensgirlaela @1184p @kayden666 @murdrdocs @jokenotfunny @sswiftiestars @lovelybucky1-fics @pocketwatch56 @vadersslut @foreverburningstar

disclaimer: if you're not tagged and you asked to be tagged, i most likely did not tag you because you lacked an age in your bio or somewhere i could find. everything about this post is 18+. if your username is written but unhighlighted, it's because tumblr has prolly marked you as a spam, and i left the username in case you ever search your own username and it comes up that way.

#Krayt House #Season 1 | House of Amateurs #Kinktober #dead dove do not eat #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x f!reader #x f!reader #reader insert #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin x reader smut #anakin x you #anakin x you smut #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x f!reader smut #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin fic #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x you smut #indy drabbles #smut #indy one shots #adultfilm!anakin #indy fics #kinktober 2023