Potter Sibling Stuff:
James: Why can’t I go in the kitchen?
Lily: *Hiding fallen feathers behind her back* No reason.
James: Then let me through.
Albus, From The Kitchen: ARGH!
James: *runs in and freezes*
Albus: *holding scratched arm next to a hippogriff* This isn’t what it looks like.
James: Well then what is it!? Because it looks like a Hippogriff in our kitchen!
Lily: This is all a dream *hand swishes*
James: That only worked once!
Albus: In our defence, Mum and Dad only said we couldn’t get a baby Hippogriff, they never said anything about a fully grown one.
—
Lily: *holding sketchbook* What’s this?
Albus: What are you doing in my room!?
Lily: Looking for your diary.
James: Oh I have that. Thought it was a very gay hand written novel at first.
Albus: *snatching diary* Give that!
—
James: No.
Lily: Yes.
James: No!
Lily: Yes!
Albus: Hey guys, you were taking too long and I did it anyway.
James: Wha — NO!!
—
James: Why do I have to do the dishes? I did them last night!
Lily: Because Mum and Dad love me more.
Albus: Yeah, and they hate the way I do them.
Ginny: Hey kids, oh and James, it’s rubbish day tomorrow so take the kitchen bins out.
James: Wha — I have plans!
Albus: Not anymore trash man.
—
Albus: Oh yeah, and James.
James: Yeah?
Albus: Try a silencing charm next time, it really—
James: *throws pillow at Albus*
—
Lily, Wearing Crop Top And Shorts: I’m going out.
James: Not in that you’re not!
Lily: Why not!?
Albus: Because it’s ugly.
James: At least wear something that goes together well.
—
James: *plonks on the couch*
Harry: Took me ages to fluff those pillows.
James: Sorry.
Albus: *steps over back and squats with a plate of cold pizza* What are you guys watching?
Harry: Some Muggle cop show.
James: What!? Why doesn’t he get yelled at for that!?
—
Lily: Can I invite a girl over?
Harry: Sure.
Albus: Could I invite a girl over?
Harry: No.
Albhs: Why!?
Harry: It’s just inappropriate.
Albus: What about a boy?
Harry: That’s fine.
Albus: *silent in polysexual*
James: Could I invite a boy —
Harry: You’re still grounded.
James: For what!?
Harry: *Points to dirty dishes*
James: That was Lily’s—
Harry: I don’t want to hear the excuses.
—
Albus: I may have gotten into a fight.
James: With who!? A dragon!?
Albus: No! Just some twenty-five year old with a lighter.
James: What!? Are you okay!?
Albus: Yeah I’m fine, he wasn’t very good.
James: You’re covered in cuts, bruises and burns!
Albus: And? You should see him.
Lily: *walks in* Again? What did he say this time?
James: AGAIN!?!?
—
James: *walks into bathroom to see Albus bleaching half his head* Did you have another mental breakdown?
Albus: No. It was a panic attack actually.
—
Lily: How is James better at makeup than me!? He doesn’t even wear it!
James: I’m gay, I don’t know.
—
Albus: This is a bad idea. Maybe we shouldn’t do this?
Lily: James will be hella pissed.
Albus: Okay, let’s go!
—
Albus, Over Phone: Hey Mum. You think you forgot something at the shops?
Ginny: Oh shit! Lily asked for rye bread.
Albus: I meant me!
James: You forget Albus again?
Ginny: Why didn’t you mention it?
James: You forget your child and I’m somehow to blame?
Ginny: Don’t give me that back talk!
James: Backtalk!?
Ginny: You’re grounded!
Albus: This was so worth getting left behind.
—
Lily: Can I stay over at a friends house this weekend?
Harry: Sure.
Lily: Thanks!
James and Albus: How was that so easy for her…?
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i have been every type of sibling at some point in my life and i think that explains why i am the way i am lmao
for the first 10 years of my existence, i was the youngest child. i had one brother who was 5 years older than me.
then my sister came along, and suddenly i was the middle child despite being the youngest for over half of my childhood at this point. so i spent my tween and teen years as the middle (and still am)
however. my brother is disabled. he has always struggled with stuff, dropped out of college, doesnt have a job, barely leaves the house. its not his fault at all and i really feel for him, he got screwed over by the system. but this has meant that as the next oldest child, i took over a lot of the responsibility in the house, such as chores and babysitting my sister, and i ended up doing a lot of the 'oldest sibling milestones' first like being the first to get a job, the first to go to university, the first to move out, etc.
so this means that i kinda take on the role of the oldest sibling a lot of the time, even though im technically not.
and to top it all off, both of my siblings are my half-siblings. they live with me, we grew up together, but they have different dads to me and each other. but we all share a mum. so when i go to my dads house, im an only child.
all this to say. its me. im siblings georg. my life is wild when i think about it lmao
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Cursed Cousins Stuff:
Scorpius: *realisation* How the heck did we all end up with a cursed parent each?
Teddy: *thinks about it* Oh my Merlin, you’re right. How did that happen?
Scorpius: And it wasn’t even the people we’re related to each other through.
Delphi: The Black family liked collecting cursed artefacts, I think it checks out that they’d all be attracted to cursed people as well.
—
Teddy: Someone called me Wolf-Boy.
Delphi: Someone called me Voldemort-Spawn.
Scorpius: Someone called me Mutant-Kid.
Teddy: I’ll kill whoever was making fun of you guys.
Delphi: I have the ability to swoop down and they won’t even see it coming.
Scorpius: Or! We could be the bigger people and do the right thing.
Teddy: Okay, I see you, I hear you, you are valid, but crime is more fun.
—
Teddy: AAAHHH! THE AGONY!!
Delphi: It’s not even a close to a full moon. What’s going on?
Teddy: I STUBBED MY FUCKING TOE!!!
Delphi: Oh. Yeah, warranted reaction.
—
Teddy: You know I found out other people don’t get given cool ornate daggers for their tenth birthdays.
Scorpius: What do they get on their tenth birthday? A cool ornate random chunk of metal?
Teddy: Okay, that actually sounds cool and I would love that, but no. They get other gifts.
Scorpius: … Uh … I got nothing.
—
Scorpius: …
Delphi: In my defence, I didn’t know a horses kick was that strong.
Scorpius: You got Peanutbutter to kick a stable boy. Why?
Delphi: He was talking shit about you behind your back. Duh.
Scorpius: So you got a horse to kick him!?
—
Teddy: Why is body hair a thing?
Scorpius: Do you want the scientific explanation or the “I feel you, gender dysphoria sucks” explanation?
Teddy: The second one.
Scorpius: I don’t know, but I feel you, gender dysphoria sucks.
—
Delphi: How are we all non-binary? And autistic? And mildly cursed? And physically disabled? And severely traumatised?
Teddy: I stopped asking these questions years ago. The only important thing worth noting is that we’re all femboys at heart. Even you.
—
Draco: This is my child, who is not technically my child and more accurately my cousin, but I was the closest thing they had to a father so he’s my child.
Teddy: I’m the cool older sibling and or punk rock cousin. Depends on which family members have been invited to Christmas dinner.
Draco: This is my daughter who is legally my daughter, I adopted them, I’m their dad, we mostly ignore that biologically we’re cousins because I am in fact her real dad.
Delphi: I am very much so the disappointing middle child of the family so that checks out.
Draco: And this is my son, who is biologically and legally and emotionally my son. He is my son, the rumours are false, ze is biologically mine.
Scorpius: I somehow got the job of keeping the two siblings and/or cousins out of trouble despite both of them almost being a full decade older than me.
Teddy: We are a very normal family, as you can tell.
—
Teddy: Now what have we learned?
Scorpius: I’m not repeating—
Delphi: Tell the aurors nothing, tell the healers everything, and use hexes when necessary.
Teddy: I’m such a good influence.
Scorpius: Please Teddy, just start being a responsible law-abiding citizen. I’m begging you.
Teddy: Hah! Never.
—
Draco: What happened?
Scorpius: I’ve been kidnapped.
Teddy: Not kidnapped. I’m taking zer to a party he wanted to go to.
Scorpius: It’s a rave and I’m being taken against my will.
Draco: Will there be drugs and alcohol?
Teddy: One hundred percent.
Draco: Okay, just don’t be stupid.
Scorpius: You are terrible at your job.
Draco: Teddy’s an adult and you would never.
—
Delphi: Are you okay?
Scorpius: I’m fine.
Delphi: Than why are you laying on the floor on top of a heat pack?
Scorpius: Okay, so my spine did that quirky thing all spines do where the constant pain became so unbearable I had to lay down on top of a heat pack.
Delphi: That’s not something all spines do. You were diagnosed with early-onset arthritis. You should know this.
Scorpius: I mean it’s only slightly above the normal pain level.
Delphi: The normal pain level is zero.
Scorpius: *genuinely shocked by that concept* Zero pain? People experience that? That’s so weird.
Delphi: No it’s not. What pain level are you at right now?
Scorpius: Only slightly above my average.
Delphi: Give me a number.
Scorpius: Like a six point seven.
Delphi: Merlin’s beard! Liquorice tea it is.
—
Tedd, After Spending An Hour Talking About Enamel Pins: But anyway, I think the autism might be a misdiagnosis.
Delphi: I guarantee you, it is not. You are very much so an autistic person. Very much so.
—
Scorpius: What’s the Addam’s family?
Teddy: A fictional family of alternative people. Why?
Scorpius: Someone called us the real life Addam’s family.
Delphi: That checks out a little too much for my liking.
—
Scorpius: Apparently I give Swiftie vibes. According to someone I’ve only spoken to once.
Delphi: Have you ever even listened to a Taylor Swift song?
Scorpius: I know the song — wait no, that’s Olivia Rodrigo.
Delphi: Let me list some songs. Blank Space, Bad Blood, Mean, Lover, Me, Love Story, Haunted—
Scorpius: I was about to say I know that one, but I am thinking of Haunted by Evanescence.
Delphi: Seriously? None of these songs ring any bells? Not even Trouble? Never Getting Back Together? Cardigan? Don’t Blame Me?
Scorpius: Um. So, I have just learnt that I don’t think I’ve listened to a single Taylor Swift song. I thought I had, honestly.
Delphi: What Olivia Rodrigo song did you think was by Taylor Swift.
Scorpius: Her new one, Greedy.
Delphi: That’s Tate McRae!
Scorpius: Oh. I got that really wrong.
—
Teddy: Since I’m the closest thing you have to an older brother, is it my job to intimidate potential suitors?
Delphi: Uh no, that’s my job.
Draco: Pretty sure I’ve been doing a good job of that.
Scorpius: Guys, you’re all wrong. Albus is the one scaring everyone away.
Teddy, Delphi and Draco: *knowing looks*
—
Teddy: Where’s the Prince of Stingers?
Delphi: Scorpius is the one in the green dress.
Teddy: Punk rock. Thanks. SCOREBOARD!! I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU!!
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