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thef1diary · 2 months

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Little Big Fan | Five

- Little Big Surprise

Series Masterlist

wc: 3.3k

The house felt too empty, too quiet.

Isabella has been at her father's house for the past week and you missed her dearly. So, you had to find new hobbies to pass the time. You should've been used to the days she isn't home but you still aren't.

A new addition to your routine was your newfound hobby; watching Formula One races, or more so, watching Max race.

You would've been a fan even if you didn't know him personally, purely based on his driver skills, but that little detail made every moment of the race a tad bit more special. Your eyes would always try to find him on the track with the others, which he was in front of, leading.

You even found out that you could watch an on-board camera for a specific driver while watching the main race screen as well. It was very obvious whose camera feed you chose to watch.

This was the first time you watched the race after coming back from The Netherlands, mainly because it's only been a week since.

Though it wasn't fun watching the race without Isabella, or more like without her own added commentary.

Fortunately, Isabella's father would be dropping her off today. Until then, you had to find a way to pass the time.

Picking up your phone, your finger hovered over Max's contact. The last time you spoke was yesterday, when you congratulated him for the win over text.

You caught up on your pending work, meeting clients, writing up contracts, and even began designing the floor plans. One of the perks of working as a freelance interior designer, was that you could complete it at your own pace. The downside, however, was once you were done, you didn't really have anything else to do.

You worked for a few hours today, so your little break where you contemplated to call Max was well earned.

But before you could decide whether or not you wanted to call him, your phone rang with a call from him.

You quickly answered, greeting him with, "I was just about to call you, but I thought it'd be too late for you." You remembered that even though it was daytime for you, it was nighttime for him.

Max hummed, "too late? Oh wait, you're right, it's well past midnight." You furrowed your brow as his response confused you, but you didn't comment on it.

"So, what's up?" You asked, wanting to know why he called.

"You actually left something when you came to the race, and I kept forgetting to mention it, but I was thinking of sending it back to you as a package," Max explained, and you began to wonder what you had left behind.

"Yeah, sure that's fine, I actually have no idea when I'm going to see you again either." You shut your eyes tightly as you regretted the words as soon as you spoke them. "I mean—" you tried to explain but he cut you off, "I know what you mean and you're not wrong,"

You told him your address for the package, still wondering what you left behind, but dismissed the thought once you heard some noises on the other end. Specifically, noises that would indicate a person is outside, such as traffic.

"Max, are you outside?" You asked, wondering what he'd be doing out at this hour. "What no! Hold on, can I call you back in a bit?" He didn't wait for your response, just hung up the call.

You held your phone in front of you, looking at the dark screen as if it would give you any answers, but as excepted, it didn't. Then, you dropped the thought or at least tried to since Max did say he'll call you back.

You made yourself an iced coffee before falling into the depths of online shopping. Before you could decide on buying anything, the doorbell interrupted you.

"Max" you gasped as you opened the door, seeing him standing on the other side, holding a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands. "Hi," he grinned, eyes taking in your presence since it had been too long since he last saw you.

"You lied about the package," you commented though there wasn't any malice behind your words. "Consider me as the thing you forgot?"

You chuckled at his words but it quickly became quiet as you finally realized that he was truly standing in front of you. "Please tell me you have a work thing here and you're just stopping by because you were in the area?"

"I could tell you that, but it would be a lie," he shrugged. You hesitated before asking the next question, "and the truth is?"

"I just wanted to see you and Isabella again." Either he didn't realize the weight behind his words or he chose to ignore it but you stood there, holding the door, in surprise.

"And now I'm realizing it probably wasn't a good idea to drop by without asking you," Max's words lacked confidence but you quickly shook your head. "No, it's just that you keep surprising me by standing on the other side of the door," then you smiled and added, "this time it happens to be in a different country."

Again, he shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, but if he was able to hear the thoughts running through your mind, he'd know that this was a big deal to you. In the best way possible.

"So, can I come in?" He asked, as he was just idly standing by the door. "Oh yes, sorry."

He passed the flowers to you once he was inside. "I didn't know which flowers you like, but this seemed fitting," he explained the reason behind the sunflowers.

You wanted to ask why, but you held back because in the few weeks you've known Max, he always manages to say something that leaves you speechless.

"It's perfect, thank you. I think I have a vase lying around somewhere." You found one in the back of a cabinet next to your kitchen, and started filling it with water.

Max stood across from you and commented, "that vase should never be left empty."

You chuckled, more at the thought of the vase being full than his words. "It has been empty more often than not."

Although it was just a simple back and forth conversation, Max made a mental note to try and never let it be empty for as long as he knows you. Which he hopes would be a long, long time.

Max looked around the house, noticing a lack of a little ball of energy. "Where's Isabella?"

"At Tyler's. He'll drop her off in about an hour." Once you set up the flowers, you paused, realizing you have to make lunch for Isabella but you didn't want Max to think that you didn't want him here.

"Everything okay?" He asked, always noticing everything. "Yeah, I have to make lunch for Isabella." You didn't know what reaction you expected but it definitely wasn't a laugh.

Max stepped closer to you, rounding the kitchen island that was in between you two. "If you think you have to entertain me as a guest, who by the way showed up unexpectedly, I'm going to think you don't consider me a friend."

You broke out into a smile, realizing that you overthought the small situation. "I do consider you a friend, otherwise I wouldn't have ranted on and on about my job."

"I will say though, if you're making lunch, I want some too," Max added with a sheepish smile. "Isabella's lunch entails a homemade pizza and fries—made with freshly cut potatoes—because that's all she wants to eat every time she comes home."

"Fair enough, let's make extras for all of us," Max began rolling up his sleeves and washed his hands in preparation.

You couldn't help but laugh, "Max, what are you doing?" He looked at you as if his actions were obvious, "I'm going to help you. Did you think I was going to let you make lunch all by yourself?"

There he goes, leaving you speechless. You shut your mouth because you couldn't find a response, and began taking out the ingredients. "Just a warning though, you're gonna have to tell me what to do because I'm not the best chef," Max stated.

"It's okay, you can be my assistant," you responded which made him raise his eyebrows, "assistant huh? I like the sound of that."

You paused, looking at him with a playful glower before both of you broke out into laughter.

You passed him the potatoes after rinsing them, tasking him to peel and cut into strips to make french fries.

Although he didn't notice, you might've stopped a few times while kneading the dough to look at him. Unbeknownst to you, he did the same when you weren't looking either.

"So does Isabella go to her dad's often?" Max asked after a moment of silence. "Sometimes it's every other week, other times it's only a weekend per month," you explained.

Max had loads of questions about Tyler, but he was content in knowing only what you were willing to tell him. This time, you didn't continue the conversation about your ex, and Max understood that you didn't want to talk about it.

The topic was forgotten as soon as you accidentally smeared pizza sauce across your face. You truly had no idea how it got there, but only realized when Max brushed his fingers against your cheek to wipe it away.

However, he only smeared it further. He couldn't control his laughter as it spread and that prompted you to wipe it from your cheek and smear it on his.

He glared at you but it only lasted a millisecond as he grabbed a handful of dry flour. "Max," you warned, stepping backwards in an attempt to get away from him.

You didn't get far as his arm found its away around your waist to pull you back and hold you still. Then, he dumped the flour on your face, adding to the remnants of the sauce.

Your hands pressed against his chest to push him away but it was a useless attempt since he had you cornered against the counter so you had nowhere to go.

You spluttered since a bit of the flour got in your mouth and Max laughed at you. Then, you did the only thing you could think of. Grabbing Max's face, you rubbed your cheek dusted with flour and sauce against his. Now it was even.

Once the laughter died down, both of you noticed how close you were standing. Max couldn't back away because of your palms on his cheek and on the nape of his neck.

Your eyes widened slightly at the realization and you quickly dropped your hands so he could move. Max took a second too long to process that you weren't holding him anymore, before he created more space between you two.

Then, you noticed the time, "shit she'll be here in twenty minutes."

"You should go change, I'll take care of the rest," Max suggested and you looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "you're going to take care of it?"

He nodded like it wasn't a big deal. "You're the one who said you're not a good chef," you spoke with a teasing smile.

"I said I'm not the best chef, I can be a good chef," he reasoned and you couldn't argue with that logic. "Fine, as long as you don't burn my house down."

"I'll try," you heard him as you went upstairs to your room.

"He got me flowers," you muttered to yourself as you picked out a clean outfit. "He fucking got me flowers." The realization hit you hard, more so because you loved sunflowers, and he just happened to randomly guess the right bouquet. Which was something your ex could never do right even after you told him, mainly because he preferred roses and only bought you roses.

"It seemed fitting," you repeated his words, "Max, why do you have to be so nice?" You asked rhetorically as of course he wasn't there to answer.

You hurriedly went downstairs after washing up and changing to see whether Max had done anything wrong. Perhaps if he was a lousy chef, you'd have one complaint about him. So far, you have liked everything about him.

Fortunately, nothing smelt burnt, and nothing was broken. When you spotted him, he was frying the French fries.

You paused in your tracks, and took a good look at him so you could remember this moment later. Max looked very comfortable in your kitchen, in your house, as if it wasn't his first time. You hoped it wouldn't be the last.

"Looks like everything's fine here," you commented and he turned to look at you with a smile, "no burnt houses," he shrugged.

"The pizza still has a few minutes to go, and the fries are all done," he spoke as he gestured with his hands, but when he looked at you again, you had a stupid smile on your face.

"What?" That made your smile widen, "nothing, just, thank you for helping me."

"Always," he responded, already planning that he'll be around as long as you wanted him to be.

The doorbell rang, interrupting your peace but you were beyond excited to open the door and greet your daughter. Isabella definitely got the habit of being overly excited from you.

However, when you opened the door you saw Isabella standing beside Tyler with a frown on her face. "Hi angel, did you have fun?" You crouched down and ruffled her hair.

"Can I go inside, mama?" Her timid voice surprised you as she would usually answer that question happily. "Sure, sweetheart, I'll be there in a minute."

You watched her head inside before you stood up, closing the door behind you so Isabella wouldn't hear your conversation and faced your ex, "what happened?"

He scoffed, "nothing happened, I just told her that I won't be able to see her again as planned because I'm flying out of the country."

"Another business trip?" You asked and he nodded. "She usually doesn't get this upset any other time you cancel, did something else happen?"

"You know how she is, overdramatic," Tyler casually shrugged and that word ticked you off. "Don't you dare call my daughter overdramatic," you pointed at him harshly.

"Oh so now she's your daughter? Isabella gets upset easily, you know this."

"I do not want to hear you say that word again to describe her, I've heard it enough from you when we were together. Now tell me what happened."

Tyler sighed, and for a moment he thought about saying that Isabella was just like her mother, like you, but he didn't want to waste any extra time being around you.

"I introduced her to Emma," he stated as if it would explain everything but you furrowed your brows in confusion. "Who?"

"My girlfriend. Isabella noticed her around the house a few times so I thought it would be a good idea to introduce her," he explained and you were about to interrupt but he kept going. "I don't know if Isabella doesn't like her, but she's been in that mood ever since."

"Tyler, she has only seen us together, so of course if you introduce her to someone else, it'll take time for her to get used to it," you decided to explain in a calm manner.

"You don't have an issue with my girlfriend?" He asked and you raised your brows, "why would I? It's not my business unless it involves Isabella."

He shrugged, then laughed at his thought before saying it out loud, "well I hope that you don't have an issue explaining dating to her, that is, if you ever start dating again."

"My dating life is none of your business. Don't you have somewhere to be? Perhaps back to Emma?"

"Alright, I'll text you when I'm back in the country," he stated and turned around to leave but paused as he saw a new car in the driveway that he knew didn't belong to you.

"Whose car is that?" You laughed at his need to always be all up in your business, "goodbye, Tyler."

You entered the house with a sigh but the sight in front of you warmed your heart, making you forget all about the conversation with your ex.

Max was crouched down onto his knees to be at eye level with Isabella, who had two arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug.

When Max heard the door close, he opened his eyes and saw you. He removed one hand that was resting on Isabella's back and gestured for you to come closer.

Understanding his silent gesture, you crouched down right behind your daughter and wrapped her in a hug as well, so she was sandwiched between you and Max.

You placed loads of kisses on her cheeks until she started giggling. Isabella let go of Max and turned to face you, "mama, you didn't tell me that Maxy was here!" Just like that, her mood was drastically different from when she first arrived at the doorstep.

"He surprised me too, angel," you spoke as your gaze shifted to Max.

"Did you watch him race yesterday?" You asked Isabella, but her mood dropped again. "No mama, daddy was busy."

"It's okay, you can watch the next one with your mama," Max spoke, and Isabella nodded in agreement. "Okay!"

Then Max gasped, "the pizza!" He quickly rushed towards the oven to check on it, making you and Isabella laugh.

"Maxy made pizza?" She asked as she sat up on one of the barstools, which also happens to be her favourite place to eat even if you have a dining table.

"Maxy and mama made pizza," Max corrected, as he watched you cut it into slices.

"Are you ready for school?" Max asked once all of you began eating. You and Max also sat up on the barstools beside Isabella.

"No." She simply stated. Max frowned, "why not?"

"It's a big school, it's scary." Her words made you frown, "but you're a big girl too now."

"How about we go shopping tomorrow? Buy a new bag, more school supplies, and anything you want," Max suggested and this time you didn't stop him.

You already had a plan to take her shopping tomorrow, mainly because you already knew that Tyler didn't or else she would’ve been beaming about it.

"Even the glittery clips?" Isabella asks with a bright smile on her face, making Max chuckle, "yes even the glittery clips"

"Oh what about ice cream?" Isabella asked, and this time you watched Max become the victim of her pout and big round eyes. He looked at you for help, but you pressed your lips together, holding back a laugh.

"Yes, we can get ice cream too," he gave in making Isabella cheer.

"Alright, angel, finish your food." You gestured to her plate and she quickly obliged, stuffing her face with pizza and fries.

You were glad that Max was here, able to instantly uplift Isabella's mood. However you couldn't help but think about Tyler's words.

You never thought about dating again ever since you broke up with your ex, especially since Isabella was a baby and almost always with you.

But now that she was older, beginning to understand relationships, you thought about her reaction if you ever introduced her to someone you wanted to date.

Plus, you never met anyone that would make you debate the decision of whether to start dating again or not, that was until you met Max.

Taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed) @xjval @mrsmaybank13 @cherry-piee @urfavnoirette @solphin @burningcupcakefire @nessacarty1 @dreamsarebig @omgsuperstarg @fanficweasley @redbullgirly @llando4norris @wonnou @randomgirlnumber13 @dark-night-sky-99 @chanshintien @leilanixx @gisellesprettylies @peachiicherries @monsieurbacteria6 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @arian-directioner @distancedss @morenofilm @sachaa-ff @lighttsoutlewis @teamnovalak @casperlikej @sadg3 @d3kstar @lewisvinga @lpab @queenofmanydreams @glitterf1 @honethatty12 @drunk-teens-doing-drugs @its-avalon-08 @yourbane @oconswrld @noneofyourfbusinessworld @ssrcsm @softtina @hockeyboysarehot @formulaal @namgification @tallrock35 @bloodyymaryyy

#little big fan fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #thef1diary fic #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen fic #fluff #f1 fluff

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artistic-boi-cakko · 6 months

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Miguel O'Hara X Artist Male reader (smut)

Size kink, 18+, NSFW, MDNI, Male reader, top Miguel, virgin reader.

Miguel O'Hara, also known as Spider-man 2099 working as a computer Engineer for the time being in the year 2023 after leaving his job in Alchemax, loosing his family.

He is currently stuck in the year 2023, he is trying to find out ways to go back to his year. He wants to create a place where he could jump into any universe and have people from other universes come to his, without glitching or facing risks to die. He had found a way to make a watch where he himself wont glitch but its still hard for him to do the rest.

Currently, for a living he is working as a 9-5 computer engineer while finding out ways to achieve his goals.

He is living in a 2 BHK apartment with an artist named M/N L/N.

With puffy red eyes, bags clearly visible under his eyes Miguel stretched out his arms and legs sitting on his chair. As he is completing the codes he need to present the next day to his cunning Boss.

Work is tiring for him which is overcome with his will to make a living whilst working to achieve his goals alongside. Fighting off the past villains to protect the city of New York.

Sounds of clicks of mouse and keyboard keys are soon replaced by sounds of bone cracking and groans from Miguel as he is stretching his body to relax his muscles.

"Hush, finally things are done to shut that idiot's nagging, irritating voice" he mumbled under his breath.

He opened the door of his room and walked out of the room shutting the door on his way. He walked towards the kitchen, he saw a plate covered with a glass tray cover, a smile formed on his face as he plucked out the little note stuck to the tray cover, Eat the pasta after you're done with work. Better eat it. I'm not an idiot for making this. Miguel chuckled at the hidden kindness of his roommate, M/N L/N.

He and M/N have been roommates for the past few months. They have talked about their lives a little but doesn't exactly consider each other as good friends, they do interact as they are living together. M/N a freelance animator and artist constantly working on his commissions and other profit generating projects.

Miguel had served himself a plate of pasta M/N prepared for him, he dug into the pasta and took a bite, he smiled as the flavors filled his tired mouth. He was eating the pasta... thoughts around the multiverse never leaving his mind... He was tired, he needed some kind of relief. It could be anything like anything.

He was washing the plates, his stomach full and satisfied with the food he ate... he wanted to pay a visit to his roommate. He looked at the time, it was 12 midnight. He wasn't sure if M/N was still awake. I walked towards the hand towel near the kitchen counter and wiped his hands. He wanted to try his luck.

Miguel went towards M/N's room and knocked on his door. With just one knock he realized the door was open, he hesitantly walked inside and sighed in relief as he noticed his luck worked and M/N was wearing his headphones, blasting movies while animating. The music must be on full volume as some of the beats could be heard even if Miguel had entered the room but not near M/N.

He thought that if he wanted M/N's attention he needed to do a little bit of work and take off M/N's headphones.

He walked near the little boy in front of him and placed his hands on both sides of the headphones. The boy in front of Miguel jumped and turned around in a hurry in his chair, hitting and struggling a bit. Miguel moved away and let the boy face him.

"Good morning, it's 12 AM" Miguel chuckled. M/N removed his headphones and sighed. He looked up at the larger man, he was facing Miguel but his gaze passed right past Miguel's face. He clenched his tired mouth from not speaking for hours and let out a light cough before speaking "Good morning" he said and swallowed some of the saliva in his mouth. "What do you want?" M/N asked still with his head up facing Miguel.

The larger man still with a silly face replied "Huhmmm Can't i see my roommate? Also thank you for the food"

"You can visit me and it was my pleasure to feed the idiot" M/N said rather bluntly, his face was also tired and puffy. His condition with workload was the same as Miguel only difference between the two men was that M/N's room was always rather dim lighted and had cans of energy drinks and coffee lying around indicating towards the boy's addiction and need for caffeine, indicating his caffeine addiction and unusual reserved nature.

Miguel smiled and sat on M/N's bed which was near the boy's working table. Miguel looked at all the cables connected on the boy's working table. He looked at the display tablet connected to the desktop, he was mesmerized by the colors of the animation M/N was making... The boy's work always worked like a drug for Miguel, he loved the color palette the boy always used.

"Whatcha' making this time?" Miguel asked, he leaned on M/N's bed propping his body towards the wall with which the single size bed was connected to.

"About inner demons, work anxiety, it's more of a tweening than animation" M/N said as he moved his chair towards Miguel.

Miguel, still looking at whatever the boy made, forgot to hear what M/N had to say to him.

M/N snapped his fingers in front of Miguel's face, breaking him out of his trance. Miguel changed his focus towards him.

"Yes? Sorry I couldn't hear what you had to say to me" Miguel confessed, he noticed the boy's eyes, his beautiful e/c (eye color) eyes were glistening, he found them attractive.

Since the time M/N asked to be Miguel's roommate introduced by one of the friends of Miguel who wanted Miguel to be in someone's company and did not wanted him to be all alone and reserved. Miguel had always found men like M/N to be attractive and cute... He likes submissive, timid boys like M/N, as they are easy to gain trust with and are loyal in a relationship, not to mention the size kink Miguel have is satisfied after having sex with men like M/N.

M/N sighed and repeated "I was saying, if you wanted to go back to your room as you are all over my bed" he said pointing at Miguel who is now lying in M/N's bed, he continued "You seem sleepy. If you want to sleep here I don't mind, I will sleep in your room". Miguel's cheeks burned and turned red... he was embarrassed "Uh... Of course! Uhmhumm I won't sleep here don't worry" Miguel said as he shot up from the bed, sitting up now and patting the bed as he spoke "You can sleep here, have your comfy lovely sleep here" M/N felt a chuckled almost escaping but bit it back in.

Miguel was eyeing M/N's body up and down taking in the sight of M/N's strong but delicate arms and legs... M/N worked out in his room as he had dumbbells laying in a corner of his room. Miguel was almost drugged every time he would look into M/N's eyes, something about them just urged him to hug M/N tightly in his arms and coo at him lovingly. He wanted to hold onto that slim and well built face and caress his hair... Miguel wanted M/N in his arms and spent the whole day kissing his face and lips... he wanted to caress M/N's hips and have them against his pelvis. Everything about the boy was just perfect to Miguel. He forgot to take notice that M/N has turned back and is resuming his work on the animation.

Miguel adjusted himself more on the bed making himself more comfortable. M/N hated having people in his room and he would have kicked out someone like Miguel instantly, someone who is messing with the bedsheets, being comfortable in his room. Miguel was an exception, as M/N grew comfortable around Miguel and trusted him.

M/N sometimes hates when he gets attached with people around him as it only pains him when people leave him. He was almost done with the animation. Actually, he was done, all that was needed was to save and export the project and make it ready to post it on his Ko-fi page.

Miguel was looking around his room and noticed a sketchbook on M/N’s work table, he picked it up and started flipping through the pages. He was smiling and admiring at the paintings of outdoor sceneries and a few perspective sketches in M/N’s sketchbook, as he was flipping around he noticed that as he flipped M/N’s drawings are going more towards having human portraits from a normal pose practice to suggestive poses. Miguel's eyes widened as he noticed a man naked in a suggestive position masturbating in one of the pages, his face turned red. M/N glanced towards Miguel and panicked, he lunged forward and snatched the sketchbook from Miguel’s hands.

Miguel spoke up “Dang you like guys!”

“Yea?! SO what? And you should have ASKED first before going through my sketchbook and commenting!” M/N snapped back. Miguel was taken aback for sometime before speaking “There is no shame in being gay… I.. I am also a bisexual.”

M/N was silent for sometime “Still, doesn't give you the permission to look around my things” “Sorry” Miguel said, he was wondering something “Who is this guy you drew? Is he a Pornstar or-” Miguel was cut off in between “My High-school crush, whom I don't crush on anymore” M/N said

“Woah, can I ask another question?” Miguel asked curiously wanting to know more about M/N.

M/N sighed and nodded. “What did you find attractive in him?” Miguel asked, picking up the sketchbook again and opening the page where M/N’s former High-school crush was drawn.

“I had a weird phase of being attracted to sporty bad guys” M/N admitted blushing.

The red dust on M/N’s s/c (skin color) face was something which was enough to send Miguel’s brain haywire. Miguel was now really just fighting off the urge to hold M/N and embrace him, he knew he shouldn't do that.

“Won't judge you, everyone is stupid in High-school. But you know these memories are fun and cringe which makes our life livable and add some spice to it” Miguel said as he leaned into the bed almost laying down again.

M/N looked at Miguel, he blushed a little. Miguel’s arm muscles were something he always loved to look at, they were big and beautifully sculpted. His thick fingers, large hands, strong biceps were something M/N always wished to hold one and feel on his body, he has a very dominating personality but when he looks at Miguel he immediately becomes his submissive, timid and goofy mode. Even now he wants to go to his goofy mode but he is too tired for that. He sometimes hates that he finds himself taking sneaky glances towards his roommate’s crotch.

Miguel’s chest moved up and down as he took a deep breath. M/N’s brain almost died out but held himself together. Miguel raised his eyebrow as he looked at the boy in front of him and chuckled “Weekend is here now. I am done with my work and i feel your work is something where you can take breaks as you don't have a boss nagging you all the time. So, wanna go out somewhere?” he asked

M/N giggled as he said “I am my own Boss and I am not sure, I don't like going out, its tiring and irritating.”

Miguel looked at M/N in surprise, why wouldn't he like to go out? Is it one of the 'artists don't touch the grass' thing?

"Touching the grass is good sometimes. How long has it been since you touched it?" Miguel asked careful at his words. "Nah, I just don't like going out… it's annoying just like I said. No particular reason" M/N said.

Miguel sighed "not soon. But I will drag your ass out of this apartment." He said.

M/N was staring at Miguel confused and a little anxious. "Fine… we will see about that" he said with a sigh. "But why do you want to take me out?" The boy asked. Miguel raised his eyebrow "Hehe, nah it's not a date. I just wanna hang out with ya'" he said with a smirk on his face. He could feel M/N's embarrassment after hearing his words. "UGH! Idiot! I didn't.. umm.. LEAVE IT!" The boy stuttered with his face flushed red.

Miguel laughed lightly as the boy in front stumbled on his words. "You're cute" he mumbled under his breath. "Not funny!" M/N bluttered out, he was fidgeting with his fingers. Miguel was looking at his little fingers, oh he so wanted to feel the boy intimately.

"Alright I still have a few sketches left, I will be working on them. If you want you can stay or leave. I don't mind either." M/N said as he turned towards the two screens, opened a new file and started sketching.

It's been an hour since M/N started working on the last sketches and Miguel is laying in his bed. Miguel was looking at the boy working… his head spinning in need. He was desperate at this point, the way M/N moved his hands and used his fingers to zoom in and out and move the canvas around. Miguel felt dirty at first for finding bits of arousal at such normal actions but he wasn't able to control his urges at this point.

Miguel sat up on the bed and moved his arms towards M/N, his head spinning in need. His placed his hand on M/N's shoulder making the boy flinch.

M/N looked at Miguel, whose eyes were looking at him seductively, panting here and there, closing his eyes and opening them again, the eyes which were filled with lust and need. M/N at first decided to ignore that Miguel was actually the way he thought he was.

Miguel pulled the chair M/N was sitting on closer. M/N in hurry was pressing down the short cut keys to save his project as he was pulled towards Miguel. He sighed and looked up at the man front of him… Miguel is indeed way taller than he was even if he would wear his 3 inch platforms Miguel would be way taller than he is.

Miguel bit his lip before speaking his mind off, he wasn't sure about his words but knew at the back of his mind that he won't regret a thing. "My my… you're such a cute little boy I have never seen in my entire life" he started as he cupped M/N's face in his hands "someone so vulnerable, attractive, innocent doesn't deserve to be so lonely. Always blasting music in his ear, drawing out his dark fantasies of loneliness" he continued.

M/N was confused at Miguel's words, not understanding what he was exactly talking about. "You're cute little fingers, waist, arms, legs, face. I could touch that all day making you feel less lonely and satisfied as well satisfying my own needs" he said. M/N started to blush and understand what Miguel meant, he looked down and noticed the large erection in Miguel's sweatpants, he was surely big.

Looking at the mass inside Miguel's underwear M/N also started to feel aroused himself and was just staring at anything front of him in a trance. He failed to notice that Miguel was now behind him and picked him up from his chair, he snapped out of his trance when he was thrown on the bed and Miguel climbed on top of him.

"Mi-Miguel! Wa- I- ng-" M/N stumbled on his words. Miguel chuckled in a low voice and moved his head closer to M/N's "your so cute. Tell me do you want me the same way I want you?" He asked in a low voice. M/N blushed his head spinning like crazy, he wanted his sexual fantasies to come true but he didn't know that they would come true like this. He slowly nodded and gulped.

Miguel was delighted to see the sight in front of him. He soon to be lover lay under him panting and blushing. "Make love with me then" he said in M/N's ear lowly. He moved his face towards M/N's lips and brushed his lips slightly against his.

He, at last pressed his lips on M/N’s and moved them. M/N’s didn't kiss back, not like he didn't want to he just didn't know how he felt interrupted. He managed to push his face forward and kiss Miguel back. They pulled away to breathe… Miguel was dying to just embrace the boy and burry his cock inside of him. But he had to be patient.

M/N wrapped his arms around Miguel's neck and took deep breaths. That was his first kiss… he wanted more… he NEEDED more. His breath hitched as he felt Miguel kiss his neck and start to lick it. Miguel pulled down the neck of the t-shirt M/N was wearing and kissed down more. He couldn't take this slow pace. He slid his hands under M/N's t-shirt and pulled it off, the boy's bare upper body was oh so soft, almost hairless, with very light hair on his chest not even visible if not looked closely… but Miguel was going to see the sight from a much closer perspective. M/N was a blushing mess, he wanted to cover himself with his arms but he knew that what was going to happen was bound to happen and he was going to love it… his head was spinning in need. He really needed Miguel and as he was thinking he grabbed Miguel's head as he started to suck at M/N's collar bone and caress his waist.

M/N now had a boner in his boxers dying to be free. Miguel was moving his hand up and flicked the sensitive bud on M/N's chest making the boy bit back a moan. Miguel smirked at this and kissed and licked the area between M/N's chest. He was lightly sucking on the area, he palmed the right side of M/N's chest and neared his mouth to his nipples. Miguel started licking M/N's right nipple and rolled the other one between his index finger and thumb.

He was sucking on it like a hungry man, M/N's was squirming under Miguel's touch, he was happy that he got what he needed. Miguel moved his eyes up to look into M/N's eyes and closed his eyes again still sucking on the nipple, the lewd noises were enough to send M/N's head haywire, "nngh~" he lightly moaned out. He wasn't much of a screamer but he squirms a lot.

Miguel chuckled and he let go of the now red nipple. He moved sideways to give the same treatment to the other nipple making M/N move around even more and even kicked and jerking his legs, lightly holding onto Miguel's shoulders and rolling his eyes back.

Miguel smiled "Not a screamer, Mi Amor. Don't worry, you will be screaming my name in no time" he said in a low voice. He love touching M/N's soft body, the cold body being warmed up under his touch clouding the other's head with lust and desire to touch and get touched.

Miguel was looking into those beautiful e/c eyes that were filled with lust and desire, he chuckled "don't worry, I will take care of you" he said as he kissed the boy under him again, this time M/N kissed back quickly squeezing his lips, Miguel parted away and looked at M/N in surprise as he thought M/N squeezed his lips because he didn't like the kiss "Is everything alright? You don't like the kiss?" He asked, lightly rubbing M/N's chest, he blushed and admitted "I don't know how to kiss properly, I tried kissing back but I think it didn't work". Miguel smiled "then, allow me to teach you everything" and kissed him again. He wants to teach the innocent inexperienced boy everything and he would, how to kiss, suck his cock properly, relax as Miguel would finger him and also teach him to take his large cock in his ass.

Miguel kneaded the boy's hips and pressed his erection against his ass. Miguel parted away from the kiss and took off his own t-shirt, showing his well built torso, every muscle was Jacked up and ripped. M/N was basically drooling at the sight, wanting the body to rub against his.

Miguel took off M/N's shorts and boxers revealing his 4 inch cock, the boy jumped as the cold air hit his bare lower region. Miguel quickly caressed his thighs with his hands warming him up "don't worry. I will warm you up in no time" he mumbled in a deep voice in M/N’s ear. He kissed his ear lobe and nibbled on his ear, he kissed and licked down the boy's body and stopped right above his pelvis.

M/N squirmed at Miguel's actions and held his head that was hovering right above his cock, tip covered and flowing precum. Miguel looked up at M/N asking for approval, the boy nodded in response and Miguel quickly took the boy's cock in his mouth and started sucking on it expertly. M/N jerked his hips up and tightly held on Miguel's hair, his body twisted in pleasure, his face lightly changing expressions, he wasn't very expressive but Miguel knew that if he managed to pull up even a slight change in expression from the boy meant he was doing a great job. Miguel moaned while still sucking the boy's cock, M/N started breathing heavily and felt tightness in his stomach he sucked in breath and arched his back. Miguel held his thighs down tightly to avoid him moving too much, he started to bob his head quickly while stopping midway to suck hard then bob his head again.

M/N's legs started to shake and he felt tingles all over his body, he puffed out breaths and with a strangled groan he climaxed inside Miguel's mouth. He was sweating now, Miguel swallowed this climax and pulled away. He smirked at M/N who was red and shivering in pleasure. He wanted more from Miguel.

Miguel smirked and kissed M/N's forehead "Do you trust me? Cariño" he asked. M/N nodded in response with the nod Miguel smiled and kissed M/N's cheek then lifted his legs and bend them towards M/N's chest "hold them tight, Mi Amor" Miguel said and M/N did as directed.

"Wait up, I will be back" Miguel said as he got up and went to his room to get a bottle of lube and some condoms. He came back inside M/N's room whose face flushed red as he saw the items in Miguel's hands. Miguel laughed lightly and placed them beside M/N's head who glanced at the items. Miguel took the bottle of lube and squeezed some of it onto his hand and smeared them properly on his fingers, he also poured some of it on M/N’s asshole, he sucked in air through his teeth at the cold lube.

Miguel placed his middle finger on M/N’s entrance and slowly pushed the finger inside, his long thick finger was a tough fit for the small boy. M/N whined around his fingers, the finger went easy but M/N was clenching around it tightly, clearly showing his lack of intimacy, more like never even got touched by a man before Miguel. He made a face of concern but was internally very happy to be the boy's first.

"Shhh don't worry, you're doing great just relax and i will do the rest" Miguel cooed. He slid the finger deeper looking for the spot, M/N was silent but his abdomen clenching in and out coping up with the finger inside him.

"Hangg!" The boy choked out as Miguel brushed his finger against his prostate. Miguel smiled and pressed down on the gland "Hehe, found it~" he said.

Miguel started to move the finger in and out, he poured some more lube, with the help of lube he started to move faster, M/N's breath was hatching. Miguel wanted to hear him moan and whimper but he knew it would basically be impossible to get the stubborn reserved boy to respond the way he wants him to.

Miguel soon pushed in a second finger, he started moving the fingers in and out and making scissoring motions with them to stretch out M/N's ass, who was letting out heavy pants trying his best to relax and breathe. He was looking at Miguel's face, he was getting what he always wanted. His crush is fucking him, right now with fingers which will soon be his dick.

He let out a loud moan as Miguel was now slamming four of his fingers on M/N’s prostate. He started whimpering and moaning, Miguel smiled and sighed as he heard the boy's voice. M/N screwed his eyes shut and whimpered as he was being finger fucked, he started feeling the same tightness in his stomach like before, he sucked in a breath sucking in his stomach.

Miguel noticed this and fastened his pace "Good boy, moan my name now" he said.

M/N was being a stubborn self again and stopped his whimpers and moans. Miguel was a little irritated now and teased M/N by completely removing his fingers from M/N who in response bucked his hips forward wanting to be touched again. His face was red and looked like he was holding himself back.

"Tsk tsk, only good boys get the reward to cum" he said chuckling a little as he took off his sweatpants and boxers and threw them on the floor along with M/N's and his t-shirt.

M/N's eyes widened as he stared at Miguel's cock, it was a good 1.5 inch thick and 8 inches long, dripping precum and looked like a beast free from a zillion years of imprisonment. Miguel sighed and groaned as he was finally free. He stroked his cock a few times and placed it on M/N's entrance, who panicked and yelped out "No! No! Wait wait!! This won't fit!" He wanted this dreamy veiny large cock but was scared of the later consequences. "Don't worry baby boy, we will make it fit." He said as teared the wrapped of the condom, taking it out sliding it down on his cock, he neared his face towards M/N's ear "Make it fit so good, you will be screaming my name wanting more of it. Make it fit so good you will be stretched around me, your hole gaping for more" Miguel spoke chuckling darkly as he plunged three of his fingers again inside M/N's ass.

His breath hitched again and he let out a long whimper and scrunched his face in pleasure. Miguel was moving his fingers in and out fast and hard. He pulled out his fingers suddenly then pushed in the tip of his cock and started pushing inside. M/N whined in pain with bits of pleasure alongside "nah~ wa.." he said with a cracked voice. Miguel stopped and gave him time to adjust, he was rubbing M/N's stomach gently and caressing his body helping him relax. He bend down and started licking and sucking on M/N's neck and shoulder "Shh, I will be gentle don't worry" he said as he slowly pushed in a bit more.

M/N was relaxed now, soon he felt Miguel's dick near his stomach "Ah~" he choked out.

Miguel smiled "Alright, want more of it inside?" He asked gently, still caressing his sides. "No, its too deep" M/N said, his eyes screwed shut.

Miguel was not completely inside and he was rushing for it. It was M/N's first time, he didn't want to hurt him, he sighed and pulled out a little and pushed that back in.

Miguel pulled out more than before almost pulling out completely then pushed back it receiving a choked moan from the boy. He started thrusting slowly, pulling out then pushing back in. He wasn't in a rush, he wanted M/N to be comfortable who was visibly swallowing big gulps of his own spit trying to make his body match Miguel's strokes. "Don't push yourself to adjust, your body will adjust and loosen itself on its own. Don't stress, it's your first time and I am here to take care of it" he said as he increased the speed of his strokes. M/N almost let out a loud moan but held it in.

After almost 15 minutes Miguel was now going faster, his thrusts still soft and gentle. M/N was holding in his breath not wanting to become a moaning mess just yet, Miguel smiled and rubbed his stomach and chest, licked his nipple and gave it a sensual gentle suck, he kept giving small but hard sucks while keeping up with his thrusts.

Sounds of sucking and light wet noises from Miguel’s thrusts were making M/N's sound sensitive self a bit overwhelmed. He opened his mouth letting his tongue out and breathing heavily, he held Miguel's face in place. Miguel smiled at this and continued sucking the same way he was and thrusting a little bit faster and harder. Ropes of cum came out of M/N's dick and he moaned out "Miguel!". Miguel sat up still and started thrusting more intensely as he heard the boy moan out his name.

M/N soon became a moaning mess, his prostate being rubbed up constantly, he was almost overstimulated. The same tightness again formed in his stomach, his breath started to hitch because of it. Miguel chuckled and grabbed his dick and started jerking it. M/N screamed and moaned out Miguel's name at the intense pleasure he was receiving. Miguel was now basically slamming the earlier pushed 4 inches inside of M/N.

M/N came with a loud moaning and turned into a moaning mess.

M/N had came two more times and was on the verge to pass-out. Miguel held onto his face and kissed his head, still slamming into him. His breath was heavy and uneven now as he was chasing his climax. "Good boy, your so adorable laying beneath me moaning and crying for me" he spoke in a horse voice. "I am gonna cum soon" he moaned and with that he released his semen inside the condom. He let out a deep sigh and panted out heavily. He was still inside then slowly started to pull out, M/N's hole gaping wide, who was overstimulated and shivering. He had never imagined that something can be so intense and wonderful. All the stress from working like a madman came down. Sex with Miguel was zillion times better than chugging down cans of caffeine.

Miguel pulled out the condom off his dick, pulled out a tissue and went to the bathroom attached to M/N's room to dispose off the condom in the trash can. He went back to M/N and laid beside him. He shifted him towards the corner of the bed where there was wall as a barrier to avoid the boy from falling and laid on his bed comfortably. Miguel hugged him and kissed his cheek.

He smiled at the boy "Did you have fun?" He asked. M/N nodded in response, unable to speak from such an intense experience.

"Would you like to do this more often with me? As my lover?" Miguel asked, whispering the last word in M/N's ear who shivered at his words and nodded.

M/N was slowly closing his eyes, he was already tired from working on his animations and illustrations without getting sleep from past 48 hours and now he was fucked out good by a massive dick, he wanted nothing but sleep now.

Miguel smiled and kissed his cheek, closing his own eyes.

Soon both men fall asleep in each others arms peacefully.

Thank you guys for reading this if you read it this far, I'm glad and grateful!

Please comment if you guys want more of Artist male reader fanfics. And also if you want the next part 'Aftercare' of this current fanfic.

#male reader #lgbtq #gay #miguel o'hara #across the spiderverse #spiderman #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x male reader #atsv miguel #top miguel o'hara #bottom male reader #artist #au #spider man 2099 #spider man 2099 x reader #atsv smut #smut #miguel o'hara smut #long post

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whumpacabra · 8 days

Text

The Agent

Stalking, back from the dead, fictional politics, referenced past character death, referenced amnesia, implied past torture

[Follows The Mademoiselle]

Liza knew when she was being tailed - but she had to admit, this agent was good.

Unfortunately for him, she had no interest in being cornered by some MI6 Interpol schmuck who had chased her across the bloody country over the past few months. If he wanted to talk, he needed to be an adult and use his words.

It was easy to slip a message to him - a simple wink and whisper to the cafe cashier to give the older gentleman in line behind her the piece of paper with her ‘number.’ What it really read was simply: Wytch Wood, 3 PM. If he was smart he would come alone. (If he was smart he wouldn’t come unarmed.)

Liza wasn’t surprised that he managed to track her down among the winding trails, but she was admittedly a little impressed by his apparently healthy cardio routine. The man hadn’t broken a sweat despite obviously running to make the appointment.

“You’re looking dashing today, Jackson.” It was her turn to play coy. “You’re letting yourself go silver - I hear that’s quite popular these days.”

“Christ, I’m starting to look my age.” He huffed, walking alongside her. His icy eyes appraised her quickly - he certainly picked up that she was armed under her jumper. Her eyes traced the holster strap for his own weapon.

“You don’t look a day over 35, dear.” She smoothly took his arm, flashing him a look before a jogger came around the corner, smiling at them as he continued down the path. Liza dropped the agent’s arm as soon as he was out of sight. “I don’t take kindly to tails, Jackson. What the fuck do you expect to find?”

“You.” Something in his tone piqued her curiosity. He sounded secretive and wary, and not in the way most agent’s sounded when asking her for…personal favors. “I needed to meet with you on your terms - no comms, no cameras.”

“What do you want that you don’t want getting back to your coworkers?” She rounded on him with a huff, a confused smile tugging at her lips. “Is this a date? And here I thought you - ”

“It’s about the Wolf.”

Liza’s jaw snapped shut, her carefree posturing stuttering for just a second as she recovered her facade. What could she tell him, really? She knew an old friend by that name. A good kid, who died young.

“If I heard something from any of my contact you would know. Why this secrecy - ?”

“You know more than you’re letting on. You know something - Liza, please.” He was desperate.

“Were you fucking the American he killed or something? I’m all for a bit of revenge, but my help comes at a price.”

“No.” The curl of disgust and cold rage in Jackson’s voice was, admittedly, intoxicating. Liza didn’t expect her affections to be reciprocated, but damn if she didn’t admire a man sharpened by determined and personal hate. (Thinking of Ghost, she might have a type - outside of wealthy men with short attention spans, of course.)

“Then why do you care so much about his missing murderer?”

The flash of emotion across his face was clearly not meant to be seen. Fear. Grief. Pity.

Curious.

“You’re aware Smith was staying in the same hotel as you?” His voice was low, head on a swivel as he glanced around the empty woodland path.

“Yes. Though he slept on my couch most of the time, if I remember correctly.” In spite of her best efforts to effuse some levity into her voice, Liza could feel the weight of Jackson’s anxiety as she met his gaze. “I take it your Wolf was staying in the room under Smith’s name?”

“Yes…it appears Smith…fucking hell.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, words rushed and hushed. “We were expecting to find a body with the state it was in. Smith had been tearing him apart in there.”

“But there was no body?”

“No.”

“And Smith was found blocks away professionally executed?”

“Y-yes.” Jackson stuttered, briefly considering how she had come by such details. She had told him - a woman’s intuition. (And some personal favors in Interpol.)

“What’s to say Smith didn’t kill his little Wolf and hired some help with the body? Couldn’t pay up or otherwise crossed them - easy grounds for a bullet to the skull.”

“That’s…possible.” There was flicker in Jackson’s expression. The Wolf wasn’t dead and he knew it, somehow.

“But…?”

“If Wolf’s not dead - he needs help. Or will need it soon. Do you know where he might have gone for help - ?”

“Oh, now I know you’re hiding something, love.” She squinted at the agent, biting her lip with a smile as he fidgeted. “You Interpol boys have a good set of connections for black market medics - why ask me for those contacts?”

“Well, our contacts haven’t turned anything up and there’s been no body found - ”

“Don’t bullshit me, John.” There was no fond amusement in her voice now. No more games; her patience was wearing thin. (And her curiosity was insatiable.) “I don’t care if you’ve got the Wolf locked away as your dirty little secret somewhere in London - why bother me with it? Why would I know anything - and why would anything I know be helpful - ?”

“Your reaction, when I mentioned his name.” Jackson stopped walking, a determined desperation in his voice. He must have felt he was grasping at straws. “You know something - about some Wolf - and you purposefully withheld that information.”

“Because it’s personal, jackass.” She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to calm the defensive anger coiling in her gut. “I knew a Wolf, once. He died. End of story.”

“And if it wasn’t?” His whisper was so soft she almost didn’t hear it as she turned heel to stalk away. She froze, birdsong humming through the trees.

“What?”

“What if that wasn’t the end of his story?” Jackson, ever the surprise, didn’t cower as she turned with venom in her eyes. His words carried gentle but firm. “Wolf either doesn’t remember where he was before Smith, or he if he does he won’t tell anyone.”

“Go on.” She grit out the words, resenting herself for letting the fantasy he spun tug at her atrophied heartstrings.

“As far as I can tell by our records, we’ve only had four high priority targets go by that alias. Two of which either ended up in prison or dead before the 80s. One we lost track of in the 90s, and now a new Wolf turns up on our radar with no past to speak of.” Jackson was watching her closely, carefully. “If you knew this Wolf, hypothetically, would you be able to get him out of the country and far from Interpol?”

“Hypothetically, if you were found to be harboring a man wanted for murder, you would go to prison and you would not do well there.” Liza couldn’t find the focus to smile at her own jab. “And, hypothetically, if you do have a man back from the dead on your hands, that I may or may not have known at some point in the last decade or two, I…would be inclined to consider your request for his relocation.”

"Thank you - "

"I'll organize a time and place. You get him there - take him out for a nice dinner or something."

"How are you going to tell if he's your Wolf?"

"By looking at him, of course." She smiled, though sadness tinged her eyes. "I never forget a face. Besides, the Wolf I knew - I knew him well. Don't let him know I'm there; I just need to see his face and how he acts. We can reconvene after if there's a need for a misty eyed reunion."

Liza wasn't an optimist, but the situation was...so tempting with its intoxicating hope. No matter how she tried to crush the fledgling excitement in her heart, she found herself smiling the whole day. If it wasn't her Wolf, no love lost - there was still an empty coffin to visit in Dresden. But if, somehow, this was her Wolf - Ghost's Wolf - he was back from the dead, after so many years...

(She tried to forget the details Jackson had dropped, she tried not to imagine what had to have happened to the Wolf she knew to have him heel to the call of some American agent.)

(...)

(What did it matter? If he was alive, he was alive and that was enough. Wasn't it?)

[Before Tea]

(Part of my Freelancers: Changing Tides series)

Taglist: @stargeode @sacredwrath

#whump #stalking #back from the dead #fictional politics #past character death #amnesia #implied past torture #freelancers #listen I know this little investigation miniseries isn’t that whumpy but there is gonna be some delicious angst #when liza realizes a) how fucked up the wolf got in the sandbox and b) that he really doesn’t remember much of his past (incl. her)#I am so out of routine this week I was out at the bar with my friends until like midnight the other day (very late for 8 pm me)#I slept in yesterday but couldn’t fall asleep until later last night so I woke up late today like nooooo my sleep schedule :[

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kevinpsb00 · 5 months

Text

MHS - Yumyum

Someone tossed an old banana on the school floor. It soon became food for the flies. Then it came to life as Yumyum a student at Midnight Horror School.

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seospicybin · 10 months

Text

ON TOUR.

PART II: OPENING ACT.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix.

Chapters: I. SOUNDCHECK. / III. UNPLUGGED. / IV. HIDDEN TRACK

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix, is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band’s photographer. On the road, you learn how to deal with his bandmate, Hyunjin, who’s not very welcoming of you. (15,4k words)

Author's note: Team Hyunjin, get ready to get spoiled. Apology in advance that the smut is not yet taken place in this chapter, pls hang on a little bit more.

Click here for ON TOUR playlist.

Content warning: Mention of claustrophobia.

The song was a warning sign for him.

"Here she comes, you better watch your step..."

From the end of the hall, he saw you coming, trailing behind a security guard. Your eyes met in the middle as both of you came towards each other.

Hyunjin didn't want to stare so he kept looking straight ahead, even though the urge to look at you again was too hard to resist.

"She's going to break your heart in two, it's true..."

Then something tugged the sleeve of his jacket and his phone dropped to the floor, accidentally putting the song on pause in the process.

"I'm so sorry," you said as you scrambled down to pick up the phone on the floor.

He saw you checked his phone for any damages only to see the song he was listening to. Probably knew he was watching, you picked it up and handed it to him while muttering your apology the dozen time.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again.

You looked up at him, with your eyes that shined under the fluorescent lights like a pool of still water that reflected the starry night sky.

"Can you help me?" You softly spoke to him.

He was mesmerized, he wanted to say something about what he just saw but to someone he randomly met in the hallway?

You said something again but he was so out of it for a moment that he didn't catch what you were saying. All he could catch at the end was you, pleading with those eyes.

"Please?"

He didn't want to be caught, bewitched by your eyes so he spat whatever crossed his mind at that moment, "And who are you?"

"I'm a friend of Felix," you hopelessly answered.

A friend of Felix? He knows all of Felix's friends but he hasn't seen you before. Not that he doubted your friendship, it's just that he prefers it if you were just a stranger.

"Can you please call him for me?"

What is it? What is this feeling suddenly gnawing inside him? He could easily do what you asked and calling Felix would only take a few taps on his phone but he found it hard to do it.

When he glanced up to look at you again, your eyes dimmed like a day turns midnight. With disappointment in your eyes, you lowly sighed and said, "You know what? Never mind."

He didn't have to be that crass but it was too late to try to fix it, all he could do was watch you walk away.

Hyunjin reminded himself that this shouldn't bother him so much, he tried to avert his thought somewhere else, hitting the play button to continue the song only to hear the lyrics speak to him.

"It's not hard to realize, just look into her false-colored eyes..."

After a quick trip to the restroom, Hyunjin walked back to the green room to find you again. His guilty conscience made him feel relieved that you were there and he could fix what happened earlier.

Hyunjin almost smiled, almost.

Until he saw you with Felix, sitting so close next to each other, your hand was in his hair and your eyes shined for him, just for him.

"Hyunjin, I want to introduce someone to you," Felix said to him.

The gnawing feeling returned and it started to eat him from the inside. What is it? He couldn't find the answer yet.

He didn't want to say anything because the last time he spoke whatever was inside his head, it didn't end up well.

Hyunjin shrugged and left.

The song suddenly played in the back of his head as if it was trying to mock him.

"She builds you up to just put you down. What a clown!"

This is one of the top three reasons why you chose to be a freelance because a work interview makes you nervous.

You've been bouncing your knee under the table without the other man in the room knowing while reading the paperwork you need to sign.

"Are you going to be cool?"

You abruptly stop reading and look up at him, "excuse me?"

Vin, the tour manager, called you to his hotel room to have you sign some paperwork.

He puts his reading glasses on, "What I'm trying to say is are you going to be okay sharing a room with Lou or should I rearrange everything to accommodate you?"

You lived in a co-ed student dorm for three years so it wouldn't make a big difference if you have to share a hotel room with Lou. He's alright, it wouldn't be an issue at all.

You immediately shake your head, "I have no problem at all!"

"And we're going to get on the tour bus after we're done with the first stop so you'll have to be okay sharing the space with five of us," he adds with furrowed eyebrows.

That randomly gets you wondering if it's possible to fit six people into a bus.

"We're going to twelve cities in three months or even more," he takes a sigh in between sentences, "and we'll do a few things in between, we'll always be on the road," he warns you for what's coming.

Well, when he puts it that way it sounds exhausting and mentally draining.

"Can you do that?" He doesn't mean to scare you, he just wanted to know if you're up for the task before sealing the deal.

But you'll try because who knows? For now, you'll think of this as going on a road trip with your best friend. At least, 1/5 of it is true.

"Yes," you undoubtedly answer and sign all three papers.

He nods in acknowledgment as you hand them back to him, scanning them for a moment with his glasses slumped down his nose.

"One more question!" He says.

"Sure."

"Do you have a boyfriend? Girlfriend? Husband? Wife? Children?"

"No," you reply, "not that I know of," you add with a dry laugh.

He looks at you through his lashes, "what is your real relationship with Felix?" He bluntly asks.

It's obvious he's going to ask if whatever it is between you and Felix wouldn't get in the way of his business to make sure the tour is going smoothly as planned.

"We're just friends," you assure him.

"Just friends?"

But to say that Felix is just a friend sounds like a crime when he's more than just that, "we're close," you correct your earlier answer.

"How close?" He slightly leans forward on the table.

That is the one question you do not dare to answer because you haven't fully figured it out yet yourself. Felix is more than just a friend, that's what you can say so far but of course, you wouldn't give Vin a vague answer like this.

"I know anything could happen," he cryptically says with a serious face, "but I expect business stays as business, do you hear me?"

It feels like a real business now because it feels like you're selling your soul to the devil the second you signed the deals. You remind yourself that you're here to work and the work happens to involve photographing your best friend, it's not entirely your fault that both sides of the deal are in your favor.

You silently gulp air and nod again, "Yes, I understand."

Vin looks at you for quite a while and you start to see your reflection in his eyes clearly, he then puts the papers back into a big, brown envelope.

"That'll be all," he says.

You let out a sigh of relief and you don't feel good staying in his hotel room for long, "I'd better get back to my room," you say.

"Sure," he says as he gets busy with his phone again.

"Good day, Mr. Vin!" You tell him as you get up from the chair.

He looks up from his phone with creases on his forehead, "just call me by my name," he orders.

But he's much older and he's your boss, you don't feel good calling him by his name. You stifle a nod and walk in the direction of the door

"Have a good day," you say once again but avoid addressing him by his name.

You jog back to your shared hotel room with Lou, you knock on the door until he opens it, finding him dressed in a white sleeveless top and baggy pants.

"I guess we're roommates?" You tell him.

He leans against the door and sighs, "Good! Cause I already brought your things here," he says, showing you all of your belongings in the corner of the room.

He opens the door wide to let you in, there's only one bed in there but that's the last thing you should worry about.

"You know I can sleep on the couch and sometimes, I sleep around," Lou says, he noticed that you worried about having to share a bed with him.

"And by sleep around I mean I could sleep anywhere," he explains with a nonchalant shrug, "sometimes I don't even sleep at all."

You look at him and chuckle, "Since we got this job through nepotism, I think we should stick together."

"Agree!" He shortly responds with a stern nod.

You spot Lou's things next to the dresser. He got a duffel bag of clothes and a backpack for his personal belongings, nothing more.

Meanwhile, you brought a big suitcase for your clothes and another one for your cameras, a bag for your laptop and work-related stuff, then there's the backpack.

"We'll be on the road for the whole summer," you stutter, underwhelmed by the things he brought with him.

"Trust me, you'll end up dressed in the same thing every day," he confidently says as he sits on the couch and checks his phone.

You still doubt that is something you'll do, especially for someone who cares much about personal hygiene. But okay, you don't want to bet on it just yet. Just like Vin says, anything could happen.

"Anyway, congratulations on being the band's photographer!" He says, plopping onto the sofa.

"Thank you," you reply with a wide grin then sit on the end of the bed facing him.

He's typing on his phone real quick then says, "There! I added you to the group chat."

You can't wait to check it but you've been dying to know something, "Hey, if you don't mind me asking," you clear your throat before continuing.

"What's exactly your job?"

He looks up from his phone and thinks for a second as if you've just asked him an existential question, "well... my official job title is a roadie," he starts.

He rests his hand on the armrest and continues speaking, "But I do this and that, anything!"

It's getting even more unclear what his actual job desk is because from what you have observed and seen, he did all sorts of things.

"You know, I cater to anyone's needs," he adds.

Your phone dings with a new notification at the same time as Lou's, it's from the group chat. You open it to see a new message from Vin, ordering Lou to get coffee for the band's rehearsal.

"See? Anything!" He says with a plain smirk.

He gets up from the sofa and picks up his denim jacket from the top of his duffel bag.

"Can I come with you?" You wanted to help and you don't have much to do on your first day at work anyway.

Lou is putting on his jacket when he's answering to you, "thanks for not making me beg for you to help me," he says with a grin.

"Honestly, the temptation was there," you joke.

The first city on the tour happens to be a city that you have never visited before so are the rest of the cities you'll be touring to for the next couple of months. It's scary but exciting at the same time.

Sure, it pushes you out of your comfort zone but that's the challenge. From your experience of living abroad for years, you learned to keep yourself open to new things, new places, and this new job which requires you to learn to work under someone. Not to add pressure but that someone works for a famous rock band and a member of that rock band is your best friend who has high expectations of you from the way he entrusted this job to you.

This is not the right situation to be anxious, not when you're having both hot and cold beverages on your lap as you are strapped to the passenger's side.

Thankfully, Lou drives carefully because he knows that getting your skin burned on your first day on the job would not make a good impression.

You regularly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth while putting all of your focus on keeping the drinks still and steady, not wanting to spill a drop.

After an excruciating, anxiety-filled ten minutes of car ride, you arrived at the studio where the band is rehearsing for the tour.

You let out a big sigh of relief as the drinks are off your hands and being distributed to everyone on site, including the staff working the technical of the band instruments.

You take one knowing that it wouldn't help with the jitters but you need the caffeine to function. You take another one to bring it to Felix.

You haven't seen him since you landed a few hours ago and it's nice to finally see a familiar face greeting you with a wide grin and enthusiastic wave of hand from behind his drum.

He gets up to greet you with a hug, "how was the flight?"

"Too early," you shortly reply and hand him his drink of latte with countless pumps of syrup.

"You guys are rehearsing songs?" You ask from a list of songs written on the paper with a lot of scratches and notes on it.

He takes a small sip of his coffee and shows you the paper, "we're still working on the setlist," he says.

He sits back on his stool and takes another sip, "We have a lot of songs we wanted to play but you know... we can't just play our whole discography."

You nod as you see that a lot of songs got crossed off the setlist.

"It's the third time we going over it in the past three months," he adds with an exhausted smile.

It's news to you that they carefully handpicked their setlist when you thought they just play songs the fans come to the concert for. It takes a lot of consideration and time just to craft a setlist, apart from arranging the songs in so many ways to create a seamless flow throughout the concert.

The band also working on writing an intro and an outro to connect one song to another.

Since the band rehearsal is part of the schedule, you don't hesitate to take your camera out and take a few pictures. They look rather tired but you can't blame them for not fitting the images you had of them in your head, it only reminds you they're just human after all.

Han is the only one who seems to always have his energy at a hundred percent while Hyunjin... there's not much clue when he wears his bucket hat so low you can't see half of his face.

Hours passed without anyone noticing until Vin comes to the studio, telling everyone to take a break and the food he ordered for everyone arrived.

You finished up earlier than everyone else, you didn't eat much because the anxiety ate up all of your appetite. You feel full with two donuts and a cup of iced coffee.

Sitting on the empty sofa in the studio, you check on all the pictures you took earlier on your camera.

Felix comes in not long after, sitting next to you with his head leaning in, also looking at the picture you took.

His hand holds yours to pull the camera closer to his side, his rough palm surprises you that you got startled.

Aware of it, Felix turns over both of his hands, showing the inside of his hands to you.

"Ugly, yeah?" He says.

Ignoring his words, you trail the callous on his hands that prove how hard he worked on his drum playing and admire them.

"So this is how the greatest drummer's hand feels like," You sigh in wonder.

A smile rises on his face and you're glad that he didn't feel offended by your reaction to his hands earlier.

"Are you still playing guitar?" He suddenly asks.

You turn off your camera and safely put it back into your bag, "Nah," you answer almost immediately and that got him suspicious.

He hisses in disbelief and eyes narrowed at you, "You think I didn't see the guitar in your apartment?"

You burst into laughter, feeling embarrassed that he caught you lying to his face.

The only problem with Felix is he still believes that you're the exact, same person from years ago. Sure, you're still you, but you're older now and when you thought your anxiety would shrink with age, it did the opposite instead.

"Let's have a quick jam," he comes up with an impulsive idea.

You immediately shake your head, "No, Felix. That's a bad idea!"

He doesn't seem to hear you, because he's getting up from the sofa and offers his hand at you.

"Come on! It's going to be fun!" He says as he gets behind his drum.

You stand in the middle of the room, not knowing what else to say to him that his expectations of you are so high.

You think of an excuse to stop him, "I believe rehearsal is going to continue soon," you say.

He starts tightening the screws on his drums, "and that's why we should hurry," he simply says.

You make up another excuse, "I don't have a guitar to play."

He points to Hyunjin's guitars with his drum stick, resting on their places, plugged in and tuned, ready to use.

"I don't think he would be happy with me borrowing—"

"I'll tell him that I give you the permission," he simply put you off.

That's another problem with Felix, he thinks the way Hyunjin treats you is normal when you can sense his dislike towards you even when you're not in the same room with him. Even just thinking about him sends a shiver down your spine.

"Another bad idea!" You strongly refuse with a head shake.

Felix throws daggers with his eyes at you, "He won't get mad, especially at me," he assures you.

Yeah, he won't but he surely will at you, you say inside your head.

"You still know the song we learned the first time, right?" He asks as he lightly taps his drums with the end of his drumsticks.

From the way he persists to continue, you have no other choice to but get it done already.

"Yes," you meekly reply.

How can you forget the one song he insisted you learn on guitar? Not forgetting that you only knew a few chords at that time.

But Felix was adamant that you have to play the guitar so the two of you can form a band together. He is adamant still and you believe that's why he achieved his dream.

"Come on! We don't have much time," he reminds you.

You scramble to pick up a guitar as he starts playing the intro of the song.

Hyunjin has two guitars, one is looking brand new, a Fender Jaguar in a light turquoise color. The other one is a Fender Telecaster, in a mix of black and ivory color and a little worn.

You choose the latter and carefully pick it up, putting the strap around your shoulder. Hyunjin is tall, you have to adjust the strap to have the guitar ideally positioned for you.

"Turn on the amp," Felix instructs without needing to tell you which button to push because you know.

You push it and as you step back, your finger accidentally brushes the strings and creates a screeching feedback sound.

"Oh, wow, okay, this is legit," you say to yourself in amazement. You haven't played electric guitar for years, it feels strange yet amazing.

"I don't remember the chords," you naively tell him.

"Search it on the internet," he simply tells you with a subtle eye roll.

You pull your phone out of the back pocket of your jeans and search for it fast, putting the phone on top of a tripod while putting your fingers in the right places on the fret and slowly strumming the strings.

It surprises you how much the guitar vibrates not only under your palm but also sends an electric charge all over your body.

The intro only has two chords and you start playing it while slowly strumming the guitar while Felix plays it with his drum on repeat, waiting for you to get ready to start playing the opening.

Felix would understand if you play badly but the anxiety is still there, it's mostly coming from the fear of borrowing Hyunjin's guitar without permission.

"Okay, okay, I got it now," you stutter even though you're not sure you're playing it right. You just wanted to get it done already and not get caught by Hyunjin.

Felix allows himself to move to the next part which consists of intricate drumming which was why he chose to learn this song together with you.

You count the beat to make sure you play at the right time or else, you'll ruin the entire thing.

Fortunately, the longer you play, the more comfortable it is. Most of it happens because of muscle memory and now, you have to focus on your rhythm. You stand facing Felix to keep up with him.

But this is where it gets tricky, your solo guitar is coming up and you regretted not warming up your fingers.

"Fuck!" You curse out as you missed a chord.

You hear Felix's laugh against the music and making you miss another chord.

"Oh shit!" Another curse slips out of your mouth.

You watch as your finger pads hit the right spot on the fret, doing it so intentionally hard so they sound right.

"Motherf—" you curse again as you're late for the last chord.

You glance up to see Felix is still laughing and you calmed down becase it's time for his drum solo. There's no doubt that he's a rockstar, you see nothing but the glints in his eyes, flickering. His tongue is slightly peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he nods along to every hit of his stick on the drum.

The veins on his arms are evident as his hands gripped the sticks so tightly, a crease formed between his eyebrows as he meticulously hits every note perfectly.

The song is seven minutes long but it feels like an hour. You were nervous earlier but now that you're getting to the last part of the song, you loosen up to enjoy the last bit of it. This would probably be the first and last time you got to play with Feix.

When it finishes, you let out a long, heavy sigh. Your shoulders slump as you take a step back and stop gripping the neck of the guitar.

Felix looks at you and grins, "Told you, it's going to be fun!"

Felix doesn't know that you're sweating all over, you can feel it on your back and neck, strands of hair escaping your ponytail and you brush them to the back to only find your palms are sweaty too.

Despite all that, you nod in agreement.

A wave of applause comes from behind you and you almost jump on your feet in response. You turn around to find Han and Lou, clapping their hands at you.

"Felix, I didn't know you play death metal," Han says in surprise.

"It's actually post-death metal but okay, yeah," Felix nonchalantly says.

"And you..." Han turns to you, "I didn't know you can play guitar so well!"

You nonchalantly shrug, "That was nothing," you playfully say but bragging is not your thing, you bury your face in your hands, cringing.

"No, you're really good. If only Felix told me about you, you would have been our guitarist," he says.

Like it was timed, Hyunjin comes into the studio. Bad news for Han, he doesn't know he's coming from behind him and certainly heard what he just said.

You subtly hinting Han of Hyunjin's presence with your eyes and turn around once he got the signal.

"But of course, Hyunjin is the right pick," Han quickly resolves with an awkward chuckle.

While you use the opportunity to quietly put down the guitar, hoping Hyunjin wouldn't see that your sweaty palms left marks on the neck of his guitar.

When you turn around, you bump into Hyunjin. You make your case real quick, "I'm sorry that I borrowed your guitar—"

He brushes past your shoulder to get the other guitar, "shall we continue rehearsal?" He says with his back facing the room.

Oh great! First day on the job and you're already making an enemy. Well, he's already an enemy but today, he made it clear that he is.

You tiptoe back to the corner of the room but Lou holds his hand up, asking for a high-five from you. You respond with a low high-five and a grin.

As rehearsal continues, you grab your camera to find your hands shaking, not sure if it's from the anxiety or excitement but it's probably a mix of both.

–

Ten minutes to showtime and you stand-by the backstage, waiting for the band to arrive at any second now.

Lou is there with you, noticing that you're nervous even though your job isn't to entertain the thousands of people attending the concert.

He suddenly slaps your back with both hands that your head turns to look at him, "what's that for?"

"To release jitters," he coyly answers.

He turns around and offers his back at you, "Do the same for me!"

You do the same to him, slapping his back with both hands.

"Harder!" He says.

You slap him harder while laughing, "You like that, huh?"

"Oh yeah!" He playfully replies with a loud groan.

Han appears next to you, "I want some of that!"

"Huh?"

He offers his back at you. You hesitated for a bit before landing a firm slap on his back like you did to Lou.

"Yes!" He shouts with a hiss.

Felix saw it and wants one too. The next thing you know, everyone is slapping each other's back in turns. Lou is right, whether it's from the back slaps or not, it helps you relax.

"What are you guys doing?" Hyunjin asks as he's the last one to arrive.

Felix gives him the back slaps and startles him, "You need that!" He tells him with a grin.

Hyunjin looks at him with eyes widened, then that stern look on his face melts into a smile. It's a strange view, him smiling but somehow, it warms you from the inside just from looking at it.

"You ready?" Hyunjin puts his arm around Felix as it's time for a team cheer.

You get your camera ready to capture the moment, it's sad that you can't join but you're shouting with them as they throw their hands in the air.

Unlike the time you watched their show as an attendee, you couldn't enjoy the show fully since you have to put your focus on the job. Not only that you keep your hands steady, holding the camera to capture any moments but also, you have to walk around to get the right angle.

Knowing their setlist, you pick your time right. When it's time for Felix's solo, you stay on the side of the stage and take as many pictures of him with help from Lou.

Hyunjin's solo is coming up soon, you get off the stage to take a spot against the barricade that separated the pit from the stage.

You have your camera bag open next to you, just in case you need to change your lens quickly.

From this angle, you can see how Hyunjin's fingers form a chord on the guitar's fret in a snap. The way his hand grip the neck of the guitar, the way he holds a note long enough it seems like it's vibrating along with him.

The crowd behind you screams louder as Hyunjin takes the front stage as if his guitar playing isn't captivating enough. You take it as a sign for you to get ready to take some snaps and he's... still blinding.

His red hair is fiery just like his guitar performance yet his eyes remain calm and fierce like an animal that has its eyes set on its prey.

The prey is unfortunately you as you can see that his eyes dart to yours as his guitar solo ends. You quickly aim your camera somewhere else, then squat down to change the lens when you feel something hitting your head, something small, and tapping your head softly.

When you touch your head, there's nothing but your hair that turns into a sweaty mess.

Vin takes a quick look at the previews on your camera, assessing your job on the spot. You can't read his expression but he keeps on nodding.

"Send these to the PR!" he orders as he hands the camera back to you.

"Now?" You ask in utter confusion.

"Yeah."

"But I need to retouch them first," you tell him.

He looks at you with a puzzled look, "How fast can you do that?"

"Hours," you answer but that's a rough calculation. With the amount of pictures you took, you need a day to do it.

"Can you get it done tomorrow morning?" He asks with his arms folded on his chest.

You almost let out a gasp at how impossible that sounded but you want to try first, see how far can you handle it because who knows?

"A-alright," you answer with a slight doubt that is hard to miss.

"Just send the good ones and you can send the rest later," he says, probably sensing that he puts too much pressure on you.

"I'll try my best," you tell him.

As soon as you got back to the hotel, you start working on it. Lou orders room service and you end up eating all of his fries.

"You can take the bed, I'll be up all night working," you tell him.

He's more than happy to throw himself onto the bed, playing on his phone for a bit then falls asleep with his face down.

You finish at the crack of dawn, once you clicked send on the email, you're so ready to crawl onto the bed and sleep. You shut down your laptop and silently put everything back into your bag, picking up the toiletry bag remembering that you haven't washed up since you got back from the show.

Slowly, pushing the bathroom door open, Lou's phone blaring next to him. He fumbles to shut it off and you help by turning it off for him.

"Why do you set an alarm so early?" You whisper.

He squints to look up at you and turns over, "we have to pack up," he says.

"Huh?"

"We're getting on the tour bus in an hour," he slurs as he struggles to wake up from the bed.

"What?"

You proceed to wash up but seeing the bed and not being able to lay down is pain, an agonizing pain. Thankfully, you didn't have to run around the room collecting your things because you didn't have time to spend lazing around in the first place.

"You pack your things?" Lou asks as you pile your luggage.

You nod, having no energy left to interact with him.

He softly laughs, "you get on the bus first and have some sleep," he says.

"Can I?"

"Yeah," he shortly answers.

"But my luggage...?"

He looks at you and pleasantly sighs, "I've been taking care of everyone's luggage. I don't think it'd be a problem taking care of another one."

You feel bad you can't help but you'll only burden him more if you do, "Thank you so much!" You tell him with a sincere smile.

It's hard to miss the tour bus when it's that big and shiny, you get on the bus to find the driver greets you.

"Good morning, miss!" He says.

"That's Tim, the driver," Lou introduces from outside the door of the bus.

You introduce yourself back to him with a handshake, "Nice to meet you," you force a smile even though it's hard to do so when you feel like about to faint.

"I'd better get inside I..."

"Sure, you need to rest," Tim kindly says.

You walk further into the bus and stop once you found the sleeping pods. Lou told you to sleep on his bed but he doesn't tell you which one.

They're like bunk beds and there are four of them, the sight of it makes you impatient to sleep. You store your bags in a compartment under the bed and take the one on the bottom.

The curtain gives you not much privacy but you're not going to act like a girl and complain about it. As long as you're comfortable, then all is left to do is close your eyes.

Hyunjin's eyes are still heavy with sleep as he makes his way into the tour bus.

Tim is helping Lou load items of luggage into the bus. Hyunjin raises his hand at him with a sleepy smile on his face before getting into the bus.

He's so ready to sleep some more, he goes straight to the sleeping pods and chooses one on the bottom. He slides open the curtain to only find that's already occupied by someone.

At first, he gets surprised to see someone already on the bus since he's always the first to get there. It must be you yet somehow he gets the urge to take a look.

Quietly, he removes the hair covering your face as you sleep on your side. He immediately retracts his hand as you draw a sharp breath, holding his breath thinking that your eyes would open and find him there, watching you sleep like a creep.

Luckily, nothing happens. You're fast asleep with a hand slipped under your head. With your hair still falling over your face, he continues removing them and safely tucking them behind your ear, holding them there.

Now that he can see you up close and still, he wants to do more than just look, he presses a hand to your cheek, doing it so gently to not wake you up.

You're sleeping so peacefully like dreaming of angels, that makes him smile, puts him at ease.

The sound of someone coming into the bus shatters the moment, Hyunjin takes one last look at your face and reluctantly removes his hand from you.

Closing the curtain without making any noise, then hurriedly dumps his bag on the one across from yours.

"You're always early," Felix says with a grin with his eyes barely open.

"No, I just got here a while ago," Hyunjin lies with a sheepish smile, trying to hide the fact that he almost caught watching you.

"Do you mind if I take your place?" He asks since Felix is the other one who always chooses to sleep on the bottom bunk.

"Huh?" Felix doesn't wait to peek inside to find you sleeping. He lowly gasps and closes the curtain back.

"I'll take this one then," he lowers his voice knowing that you're sleeping, then gently put his bag on the top bunk above yours,

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters to him.

As Hyunjin lies down and knows that you're sleeping not far from him, the drowsiness left him and is replaced with something else as the thoughts of you invaded his head.

Not only that he gets to see you in his wake, but as he closes his eyes, he gets to see you too.

The bus is not moving.

There are two possibilities: you got woken up after a few minutes of sleep or you have arrived but no one bothers to wake you up and tells you

Panic, you hurriedly get off your sleeping pod to find the other pods are just as you expected, empty. You pull the hoodie over your head to hide your bedhead and go to the front of the bus.

You see Felix is sticking his head out of the window, laughing. You gently put your hand on his back, "where are we?"

Felix is slightly surprised to see you, you would too if you looked like this.

"oh, babe, you're awake!" He says.

Without warning, he pulls your hand to look at the window. That's when you know the bus is parked at the rest area and from a few meters away, you see Hyunjin and Lou running towards the bus.

"What's going on?" You ask in pure confusion.

Felix goes to the door without answering, "Tim starts the bus!" He orders the driver.

He complies without words and starts reversing the bus out of its parking spot. The loud knocking on the door bus makes you jump on the seat.

Felix goes over to open it, letting both Hyunjin and Lou in. They're panting and laughing at the same time. You don't know what's so funny about it until you see Han is still running from across the parking lot.

But Tim, the tour bus driver, driving the bus on its way back to the highway.

"Yeah, okay, leave me!" Han shouts as he chases after the bus.

"I mean nothing to the band anyway. I'm just the vocalist and the songwriter," he shouts again then immediately gives up running.

It seems like it isn't the first time they did that to him from the way he gave up quickly. Tim hits the brake at Felix's order while Lou hangs in the doorway and laughs at his friend being the victim of the prank.

"oh, don't be so dramatic!" He coos at him.

Han walks to the bus like a sulky three years old, his hands excessively swaying on his sides with his feet stomping the asphalt.

He's mere inches away but Tim teases him by driving the bus away from his reach.

"Tim, I swear, I'm going to—"

Tim laughs despite Han's unfinished threat and this time, he stops the bus, watching as Han gets in with sweat dripping down his neck.

Felix puts an arm around his shoulder, "today's workout is cardio, huh?" He jokes.

You didn't know there was this menace in Felix until now. See? He's not the exact same person as well. You're not the only one changing.

Lou, still laughing, goes to the fridge and takes a bottle of water for him, "you mean everything to the band, of course!" He assures him.

Han slumps on the seat next to you, panting with his mouth open, then leers at you, "Aren't you glad being with us children?"

Aware that you just woke up, you cover your mouth as you burst into laughter. Everyone is still laughing as well, including Tim, who's driving the bus back to the highway.

And Hyunjin too, as he leans against the cabinet and drinks bottled water.

He's laughing with his eyes forming two crescent moons, very endearing to see.

The PR team asking for more individual pictures of the members.

Thankfully, the tour bus is empty since everyone is off to get ready for the soundcheck, making it easier for you to focus on the job.

Your phone buzzed with a new message from Lou.

"The soundcheck is in 5!"

It's obvious you're going to miss it but either this or that, you're doing your job, therefore there's no use to feel guilty about it.

Half an hour later, the email is sent and you get off the bus to get back into the venue to only see a group of people gathering around the back entrance.

Someone noticed that you're not a part of them, easily spotting the ID hanging around your neck which identified you as a part of the staff. The girl breaks away from the crowd to come up to you and it's too late for you to avoid it, she has seen you and vice versa.

"Can you please give this to Han?" She asks, pushing a letter and a little plushie at you.

"Uh..." you stammer, don't know what to do because someone didn't brief you on a situation like this. Maybe because you never thought to ever encounter it.

"Please? Please?" She pleads. The sweat on her forehead shows that she must have been waiting outside long enough, wishing the band would come out and receive their gift.

It's not part of your job desk but you'll feel bad for not helping for something as simple as this.

"Yeah, okay," you relent, taking the gift from her and putting the letter in the pocket of your jacket.

She turns to the other girl next to her, "please give this to Hyunjin too," she pleads.

You glare at her because you think she'd get it that you're only doing it for her and not intending to deliver everyone's gifts.

"Please, don't tell anyone else about this," you scold her as you reluctantly take her friend's gift and hold them close to your chest.

She suddenly grabs your hand and squeezes it hard, "thank you so much. Thank you!"

You hide the gifts behind your jackets before making your way to the back entrance, showing your ID quickly for security to let you in.

Following the signs that lead you to the green room, you get inside to find it still empty except for the stylists who arrange the band's clothes on the railing. The soundcheck hasn't finished yet, it'll be too late for you to get there, the band is probably on their way back here anyway.

Felix and Hyunjin are back a few minutes later. While Felix doesn't wait but to sit on the sofa next to you and rest his head on your lap, Hyunjin is going as far away from you as possible.

You look at the box of gifts from the fans, wondering how you're going to give it to Hyunjin and preferably doing it without anyone else in the room.

"Where were you?" Felix asks, putting your hand in his hair to play with it.

"Had to work and send some more pictures," you shortly reply.

He turns over on your lap, looking up at you with his warm brown eyes and you look back at him. You play connect-the-dots with the freckles on his cheek, lightly touching them with your fingertips.

"You look gorgeous from here," you compliment.

"And you look not bad from here," he compliments back.

You chuckle, knowing well that you must have looked ugly from that point of view. You turn Felix's head to the side and give his hair a ruffle, making it a mess as a way to get back to him.

From your peripheral vision, you see the red of Hyunjin's hair. He is going out of the green room and from what you learn, he likes to take a walk as a part of his pre-concert ritual.

"I have to go to the restroom," you mutter to Felix.

You replace your lap with a cushion and get up from the sofa, not forgetting to take the gift with you as you start jogging to chase after Hyunjin.

He has his headphones on as usual, you learned the hard way to not grab the sleeve of his jacket so this time, you gently tap his shoulder.

He turns around almost immediately, looking slightly surprised to see you.

"I... uhm..." It's hard talking to him when you know you're not going to get the best responses.

You avoid his eyes because they do nothing but make you nervous, "I met one of your fans outside and she wanted me to give this to you," you hand him the little goodie bag with his gift inside.

He only stares at you and not taking the gift from you. You don't want this interaction to last longer than you planned, you told him your intention so you hand him the bag into his hand.

"That's all!" You stammer and turn around on your feet to walk back to the green room.

The urge to look at him takes over you and you eventually give in, looking over your shoulder to see Hyunjin throws the fan gift into the trash bin.

Curious whether the gift is something so repulsively bad that he doesn't think twice to toss it into the trash bin. You peer inside to see a box of chocolate, looks edible and the lid is perfectly sealed.

You would understand if he did that to you, but he did that to his fans?

Hyunjin is so mean.

The drama earlier is long forgotten once the concert is done.

You made a run to the tour bus per Lou's instruction, telling you not to exit the building with the band.

You need to work on your pictures anyway, taking out your laptop and begin working in the small booth inside the tour bus.

Two hours passed without you noticing until Tim gets on the driver's side.

"Hey, Tim!" You greet him without looking away from your laptop.

"You're already here?" He asks back as he opens the lid of his giant tumbler and the smell of coffee wafting around the room.

"Mmh. Have to work on these fast!" You shortly reply.

Not long after that, you hear the ruckus from outside the tour bus. You look through the window to see people crowded around the band as they make their way to the bus.

So this is why Lou told you not to get to the bus early. Even with the security guards, people are relentlessly going at them to see or even touch them.

Felix is the first one to arrive, sighing as he safely makes it into the bus.

"Are you okay?" You ask in slight concern.

He grins, "I'm okay," he says.

Lou is the last one to hop on the bus and closes the bus door so Tim can start driving, taking all of you to the next stop.

Before you forgot, you hand the gift from the fan earlier to Lou instead of Han, who goes straight to the back of the bus to rest.

"I got these from the fan earlier for Han," you tell him.

Lou opens the bottom cabinet to put the small plushie into a box full of them. You didn't know they keep them in one place.

"Why?" You innocently ask.

"We don't accept gifts," he simply answers, "but letters are fine," he quickly adds.

"What are you going to do with them?" You sound so sad as if those plushies are living, breathing things.

Lou chuckles seeing your sad face, "We'll donate them," he says.

That's better, you thought.

"But what about food?"

"What food?"

"I received a gift for Hyunjin and it's a box of chocolate, he—" You stop yourself from continuing, not when you know he could hear it.

"Nothing but letters," Lou states.

"Why?"

"Because we don't know what they put in them. For all we know, it could be bad or spoiled. We don't want to risk it so it's better not to take them," he strongly recommends with a squeeze on your shoulder.

"Okay, got it!" You confirmed with a nod.

So, you were wrong to think that Hyunjin is mean. You admit that your prejudice got in the way of what you think of him.

Today's lessons: do not receive gifts and Hyunjin is not mean.

Since you're working all night, Lou takes the first turn to sleep in the pod.

You're going there to take your toiletry bag and a charger for your phone only to see Felix's head pop out of the curtain, looking down at Hyunjin's bunk.

"Felix?"

His head snaps in your direction, looking a little flustered as if he just got caught doing something embarrassing.

"Why are you still awake?" He asks when it should be you asking him that.

"I just finished," you reply.

"Ah," he lowly gasps. He realizes that you probably have no place to sleep.

"You can sleep in mine," he offers his bunk for you.

You shake your head, "No, it's okay. Tim is going to stop at a rest area soon. I need to wash up," you tell him.

He immediately climbs down from his bunk, "I'm coming with you then."

No, you're not going to throw a fuss and complain about the toilet inside the bus. It's too small and your claustrophobia doesn't help.

That's why you make good use of these stops to wash up and change your clothes. When you come out, you find Felix has been waiting outside with coffee cups in his hands.

"Want to sit for a bit?" He asks.

"Sure!" You agree because the rest area is empty. There are only a few trucks getting their gas in the station.

The sun will rise soon as you sit on the empty bench, carefully sipping the steaming hot coffee in between. It feels like taking a snooze button after living these past few days in a fast-forward mode.

"Is it tiring?" You ask.

Felix gets taken aback by your question, "You mean touring?"

You nod, but you mean more than that, being a rockstar and handling the fame that comes with it.

"At times," he honestly answers. He puts down his coffee cup next to him and looks at the sun that gradually rises from the horizon.

"But I know that I'm not doing it for nothing," he adds.

Felix is doing it because it's his dream, he's living his dream and there's no doubt that despite all the exhaustion, he keeps doing it because it makes him alive.

"Babe?"

You turn your head to look at him, "yeah?"

He smiles without saying anything.

"What?" You ask, annoyed that he calls you but not saying anything.

"How did you get more beautiful?"

You snort and sip your coffee, ignoring his cheesy question.

Felix holds your chin and turns your face at him again, "why didn't you look like this years ago?" He asks with his face about to burst into laughter.

You throw a glare at him and sip your coffee again, knowing well that was his intention, to annoy you. He laughs and puts his hand around your shoulder, enjoying the warm, golden rays of the sunrise.

You're getting good at it.

Guess, the first time wasn't that successful because you were still nervous. The second time wasn't going that well because you didn't have a good plan.

Now, you know what to do, where to go, when to take pictures.

The only problem is the venue will keep changing and sometimes, the layout of the stages too, so you take time to learn your way around.

They're going back for the encore soon, you hurriedly run to the back and struggle to see what you're stepping on with the lack of lighting.

Afraid that you will miss the moment, you run up the stairs quickly and accidentally slipped on a step. You get that life-flashes-before-your-eyes moment and reel yourself back to reality, running to the side of the stage just in time to catch them entering the stage again.

Hyunjin is still on the side of the stage as Lou fixes his in-ear monitor. You take as many pictures as you can before they start playing the first song on the encore.

Felix keeps the crowd entertained with his solo drumming, you're so immersed in the moment that your back bumps into someone.

You turn around to find Hyunjin, his eyes are staring right into yours.

you see that he's speaking to you but you can't hear what he's saying with Felix intensely banging his drums and you're standing not far from him.

"What?" You mouth to him.

Hyunjin leans closer until his forehead bumps with the side of your face, "your knee is fucking bleeding," he says into your ear.

It doesn't occur to you that your little accident would cause an injury when all you can think about is his hot breath fanning your cheek.

When Hyunjin takes a step back, you finally registered what happened to you and look down to see your knee is indeed bleeding, the blood oozing out of your scraped knee and dribbling down to your shin.

"Oh? I'm sorry," you blurt out and you don't know why you apologize for falling on your knee.

"Here!" Lou is quick to hand you a clean towel.

You waste not another second but put it on the wound while leaning against the railing. You turn to Hyunjin to say thank you this time but he's already back on stage.

In the end, you didn't do well on the third stop. You went to the infirmary to have your knee treated and got it bandaged. You rest for a bit in there with an ice pack to help with the swelling per the doctor's recommendation.

Felix comes into the room looking concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Just a scrape on the knee. No worries," you calmly reply.

"Can you walk?" Felix puts your arm around him as if you couldn't walk on your own.

You slowly pull away from him, "I can walk," you assure him with a light chuckle.

"I'll help you walk to the bus," he insists.

Felix is worried and the only way to put him at ease is by letting him. You forgot about it until you see the group of people gathering around the entrance as the guards open the door.

It's too late to turn away and Felix keeps going despite people starting to crowd around him like moths drawn to flame. The hand holding yours is loosening as a few people got between you.

"Felix?" You call but he surely can't hear you with everyone going at him all at once.

"Felix..." you call him again as you got stuck in the crowd and can't escape it, not to mention, your knee is hurting.

You look around for help but all you can see are the faces of strangers and they're screaming, shouting.

"Felix..." your voice is getting smaller as you got swallowed inside the chaos and no one is there to help you.

Hyunjin keeps replaying the moment in his head.

Something about seeing you getting hurt drives him mad and became irrational. Indeed, he can't justify what he did when he could have told you properly, or he could have said nothing but treated your knee.

He could have done better but he chose to be mean.

Hyunjin gets angry when he looks at his reflection in the mirror as he's changing his clothes.

"Where's Felix?" Vin asks, feeling odd about the number of members in the green room.

"I think he went to check on his friend," Lou answers.

But hearing that only makes Hyunjin's chest heaving with anger. His apology wouldn't make you better, you already got Felix anyway, he reckons.

"He's not going back to the bus himself, right?" Vin asks again.

Lou hums in doubt, "I don't... I'll check!"

Hyunjin shouldn't care about it because you're with Felix but something doesn't feel right. He gets out of the changing room and gets his bag from the table.

"You want to get back now?" Han asks him back, still slouching on the sofa with his phone.

Hyunjin doesn't want to waste another second answering Han. As he gets out of the back entrance, his feeling turned out to be right. He can see that Felix is being mobbed by people but what is worse is he can't find you.

Not when there's a lot of people and you're probably in...

He dives right into it, ignoring the people recognizing that it's him and going at him. He scans through the faces and searches for you.

In the middle of it all, he finally sees you, squatting down with your hand covering your head. He rushes to get you up, going against the people turning to come at him.

"It's me!" He whispers close for you to hear.

You look up and he sees those eyes filled with distress, also glassy with tears. He helps you get up and turns around to shield you from the front. He puts your hands on each side of his waist, "Don't let go!"

You nod with your head pushed close to his back.

"Excuse me!" Hyunjin repeatedly tells everyone around him, but they won't hear him, not when all they wanted is to get a piece of him.

"Let us pass, please?" He desperately pleads.

Hyunjin can only go a few steps before the crowd blocks his way again. He grabs your hands to make sure they're still there while he figures out a way to escape this.

"Make way, please!" Someone shouts from behind him.

Lou is gently pushing everyone away to make room for him and Han. Han is getting behind you as Lou is clearing the way to make a path for the three of you.

"Don't worry! I got you!" Hyunjin hears Han softly talking to you as your hands tightly fisting his sweater.

Tim gets off the bus to help Lou, holding off the people from blocking the door of the bus. Hyunjin stops right in the doorway to let you get in first.

Hyunjin gets in after Han with Lou being the last one to get on the bus and closes the door behind him. Yes, he expects nothing in return for what he's done but seeing you end up in Felix's arm...

"Are you okay?" Felix asks as you cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry I let you go," he keeps apologizing to you with his hand gently rubbing your back, "I'm sorry."

Seeing all that, Hyunjin gets it now why: he can't offer the same comfort as Felix does.

Vin comes into the bus looking furious, he orders everyone to sit on the sofa.

"Not you," he points at you, "you can go and have some rest."

"No, I need to work on—"

"You can rest tonight," he insists.

Guess it's the first time you see Vin looking so tense that you comply right away. You reluctantly get up from the sofa but take a stand next to Vin, turning around to face everyone.

Hyunjin's heart skips a beat as your eyes land on him, "thank you," you mutter with your eyes still red.

You turn at Han and Lou next, saying the same thing to them.

"Take care of that knee!" Lou reminds you.

Now that you're gone, all that is left is getting scolded by Vin, but funny that Hyunjin doesn't feel bad about it.

"What did I tell you about not going by yourself—"

Vin's scolding slowly becomes the background noise as Hyunjin only thinks about how you earnestly thanked him, but you did more than just that to him: You acknowledge him.

When he thinks about it, this trouble is worth it now that the two of you are even.

The sight of the bed lures you to take a dive and have a quick lay down.

It's a day off and everyone is in their respective hotel rooms, probably doing the same thing as you. You were only on the road for more than two weeks but it's enough lesson to tell you that you took things for granted.

For a blissful moment, you forgot you have a bag of laundry to do. You can't rest knowing that you have chores to do.

You're looking for the nearest laundromat on your phone when Lou comes knocking on the door.

"Thought you're sleeping," he says.

You shake your head, "no, I'm thinking of going to the laundry."

"You can use the hotel's service," he says, grabbing a pair of pants from his duffel bag.

"I know but I want to go just because..." you add a shrug at the end of the sentence.

After he gets out of the bathroom from changing his pants, Lou offers to give you a ride since he needs to do some errands for Vin. He drops you off in a laundromat not far from the hotel.

"Text me when you're done," he tells you.

"Alright!" You reply even though you intend on going back to the hotel yourself.

You bring your laptop with you so you can catch up on some work while waiting for your laundry to be done with a cup of coffee from the vending machine.

You feel normal for the first time and laugh because you didn't think you would miss your mundane life this much. You have some time left while the laundry is in the dryer, you check all of the pictures you took got posted on the band's official website and their social media.

You read the comments and found some that said the photos are so well taken. Now, it feels like your hard work is paid off.

Your phone dings with a new message from Lou.

"Are you done?"

"Almost."

"On the way there," he texts you back a few seconds later.

Packing everything back into your backpack, you get ready to take the laundry out of the dryer and shove them into the bag.

The same car that drove you here stops at the side of the street. Someone rolls down the window but instead of Lou, you find Han.

"Get in, loser!" He tells you with a playful smirk.

"Wow. Never thought you would quote Mean Girls," you mutter then goes to the back of the car to store your laundry bag.

"Felix is not coming?" You ask as you pull open the car door.

"No, he has a doctor's appointment," Lou answers.

Getting into the backseat, you stop for a second after seeing an extra passenger and the last person you expected to sit in the backseat with.

Hesitated whether you should greet him or not, however, your mouth gets ahead of you, "Hey..." You drag the word long enough that it started to sound strange even to you.

"Hey," Hyunjin replies.

Good thing that he wears his hat low like usual you can't see his eyes. You quietly sit next to him and put on your safety belt, as if any loud noise would shatter this peaceful state.

"Where are we going?" You ask Lou.

"We're going shopping!" Han answers the question for Lou as he focuses on driving.

Unlike any other girls, you're not a fan of shopping. You don't like spending time going from one shop to another.

Thankfully, that's not the kind of shopping Han is going for today.

You got cheery as you enter the record store and don't waste time looking around. Han is going through a section not far from yours, you're curious to know what he's getting. From your quick observation, you can see that he's leaning into 90s rock.

"You know the best rock came from the late 60s to early 70s," you lean against the shelf, "I don't even consider anything released above 1973," you add.

Han turns to the next section and starts going through the record one by one with his fingers, "really? Not even Radiohead? Nirvana, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, Oasis, Blur, Sonic Youth, Pixies, Guns N Roses..." he lists every band that came from that era.

You click your tongue at him and check on the section next to him, "Yeah, okay, 90s is not that bad. They have The Breeders," you weakly agree.

Han turns his head at you, "The Breeders?"

You look back at him in disbelief, thinking he was joking as he looked like he never heard of them before.

"You know Pixies but didn't know The Breeders?" You accidentally raise your voice a little louder that everyone else in the store is turning their heads in your direction.

"I never heard of them!" He innocently answers with a shameless grin.

"Oh, my God!" You groan in disbelief, turning your back on him.

"Kurt Cobain listed their first album as one of his favorite records. They even toured with Nirvana!" You share the facts that you thought were public knowledge until now.

Han is gobsmacked by how passionately you talked to him about a band he never heard of. His mouth hangs open but nothing comes out of it.

It's not enough by telling him, you quickly scan the shelf close to you to find the record that you have in your collection and push it close to his chest.

"Consider yourself lucky!" You tell him with a mad glare.

Han doesn't have any other options but takes it into the pile of records he's going to buy. You're going the other way to start looking for records to buy as well.

You see Lou is checking some new releases and listening to it through the headphones provided at the station.

Hyunjin is... you don't even want to try to search for him. The last time he was with you, you were a crying mess and you made the back of his sweater damp with your tears. It wasn't a pleasant moment to remember even for you, you're certain it's the same for him.

Hyunjin has been watching you from afar but he can't help but to come near you. It's as if your magnetic field gets stronger each and every day, he has no power to resist it anymore.

He pretends to look through the section across from you, his back and yours only separated by a mere void he does not dare to cross, yet.

"Oh! Beatles!" You gasp.

Hyunjin looks over your shoulder thinking that you notice him there and talking to him but no, you're talking to yourself while reading the track list on the back.

You start singing the track one by one like a jukebox and Hyunjin silently chuckles at how adorable you sound, so oblivious to his presence, so cute, so...

"I'm going to buy this!" You suddenly say.

Hyunjin has to make sure that yes, you're talking to yourself again.

"You're coming with me too!" You say again.

Hyunjin freezes on his feet thinking he got caught this time but no, you said that as you take another record in your arms and hold it close to your chest like a little child about to pay for her toys.

He gets behind you in the queue to see what you're getting. Leonard Cohen, The Beatles, and The Velvet Underground.

That's not a coincidence, right? You like the same music that he likes, that must mean something. Or he's just way over his head.

"Hey, can I get your autograph?" Someone who stands behind him asks with a Ssick album in his hand. The other one is staring at him with wide eyes, not blinking.

Hyunjin gets a grasp of reality, he clears his throat before answering, "Sure, wait," he looks around for a pen.

Just like you read his mind, you borrow a pen from the cashier and hand it to him, "Here!"

"Thanks," Hyunjin mutters, not looking at you because he knows what it does to him.

Hyunjin bites the pen between his teeth and pulls the pen out of its cap, placing a big sign on the cover.

"You guys have paid for this, right?" He jokingly asks as he caps the pen back.

They laugh at the same time, shaking their head in embarrassment.

"This one on me then," Hyunjin kindly says.

Han comes from behind, surprising them with his presence,

"You guys don't want one from me too?"

Hyunjin laughs and turns around to find you're no longer standing close to him.

On the way back to the hotel, Hyunjin puts his headphones on but not playing anything. He knows you're uncomfortable sharing the backseat with him and this way, he can listen to you humming to And I Love Her.

It's a little embarrassing to drag your laundry bag to the hotel room but thankfully, Lou doesn't mind helping you.

"You know, you should think of minimizing your luggage," he comments.

You push the button to your hotel floor, "But what if—"

"If you ever run out of clothes, there's always the merch," he cuts you off with the simplest of answers.

You hate to admit that Lou is right, but you've been wearing almost the same thing every day: jeans and a T-shirt. In fact, you've worn your denim shorts to the point that they started to take the shape of your body.

"Also, we're going on the plane after this one," he adds, sipping his almost empty iced coffee.

You almost forgot that the band is going abroad for a summer festival. It seems like you're staying busy even on your day off. However, Felix comes knocking on your door as you're about to start sorting things you want to keep and don't.

"Come and play with me!" He whines the second you open the door for him.

"I have things to do," you sadly tell him.

He pouts, "You guys left me shopping this afternoon and now you don't want to play with me?"

You look back at the stacks of luggage you need to sort, honestly, you don't want to do that today, not on a day off.

"Okay, okay," you instantly cave in.

Felix ordered a lot of food to his room you wonder if the two of you can finish all this. Shouldn't have said that because he ate most of it.

"Heard you got a doctor's appointment today?"

Felix puts the food wrappers into a plastic bag while you wipe the table clean with napkins.

"Yeah, I might have strained my back muscles or something," he vaguely explains like that doesn't concern him at all.

When he should be concerned, a drummer uses those muscles and he has probably been drumming in pain, but not telling anyone.

"That sounds serious," your voice is heavily tinted with worries.

"Don't worry, babe!" He assures you with a low laugh.

You grab his elbow to force him to look at you, "no, I'm very worried and you should too," you tell him.

He takes your hand and holds it close with his, "promise you that I'm taking care of myself well," he promises.

You shot him a doubting glare, "promise?"

"Promise!"

The night continues with him insisting on watching a movie together, you both get on the bed and arguing which movie to watch. Felix ended up getting the privilege to choose and he picked a rom-com.

"We should watch horror or thriller," you tell him.

"Ugh, no!" He strongly resists.

You chuckle because you know he doesn't like scary movies, "grow up, Felix!" You tease.

You hurriedly hide behind the duvet as he throws his arm around you, nuzzling his nose in your hair. You're laughing while he playfully tries to take a bite off your head.

"You're lucky I washed my hair this morning," you tell him.

He stops smelling your hair but draws you closer, letting you rest your head on his chest.

"Yeah, it smells good," he doesn't hesitate to take another whiff.

"I'm Lou's shampoo," you share.

"I need to know what it is," Felix says as he continuously smells your hair and without warning, places a kiss on the top of your head.

With the way Felix holds you, you feel warm and snug, not forgetting you're full with the amount of food you ate earlier. Next thing you know you can't barely keep your eyes open anymore.

"Do you mind if I close my eyes for a bit?"

"You can stay," he casually answers, slipping his hand into your hair.

"Promise I'll go back to my room later..." you tell him with eyes close and slowly, drifting into sleep.

Hyunjin has been looking for his notebook.

It's where he wrote all of his ideas from chords, melodies, pieces of lyrics, and even his personal thoughts. The last time he got ahold of it is when he almost left it on the tour bus and Felix got it from him, but his hands were full at that time so he offered to keep it for him.

It's only a little after midnight, Felix is usually still awake at this hour, playing video games or watching movies.

"Felix? It's me," Hyunjin says, just in case Felix is wondering who's knocking on his hotel room.

A while later, Felix opens the door for him with his hair tousled but his eyes are wide awake, "yeah, what's up?"

"You're not sleeping, are you?" He asks because he'd feel bad for disturbing his rest.

Felix aggressively shakes his head, "no, I was watching a movie," he answers.

Hyunjin is right. There's no way he sleeps this early. Before he forgot why he came here, he asks, "I believe you have my notebook?"

Felix scratches the back of his head then opens the door wider, "Yeah but... come in, first!"

Hyunjin steps into the room expecting nothing but the same setup of a messy bed and clothes strewn out of his suitcase.

"I forget where I put it so it'll take time for..." Felix starts digging into his bag to look for Hyunjin's notebook.

A rom-com movie is paused on the TV screen as Hyunjin walks further and yes, there's the same setup except that he has someone on the bed, sleeping.

"Who—" Hyunjin, fortunately, didn’t have to finish his words when he recognizes the clothes, the same ones you were wearing from earlier.

Felix notices that Hyunjin sees you on his bed, "we were watching a movie together and she uh..." he hands Hyunjin his notebook back.

Hyunjin immediately looks away as he takes his notebook back from Felix, "thanks," he mutters.

He doesn't waste another second to get the hell out of there.

"You're going?" Felix asks as if Hyunjin wants to spend another second seeing you sleeping on his bed.

"Yeah, I just need my..." Hyunjin stops himself from talking so much.

"Goodnight, Felix!" He ends it there and walks away.

Felix looks rather sad seeing him leave, he lingers by the doorway as Hyunjin walks to his hotel room, "Goodnight!" He finally says back.

As he sits alone in his hotel room, Hyunjin opens a new page in his notebook and writes:

"I wish you were just a stranger."

The next morning, Lou comes to his room to make sure he's awake for a radio interview.

"Yeah, coming!" Hyunjin weakly replies as he packs things into his bag.

He gets out of the room and can't help but think of last night as he has no other way but to pass Felix's room. His heart drops as Felix comes out of his room and he's just as surprised, glad even.

"Morning!" He says.

"Hey!" Hyunjin coyly replies.

He sees Felix shoves his keycard into his jacket pocket but does that mean you're not in his room? He can't be so sure but at the same time, he doesn't want to put so much energy into this. He shouldn't even think about it at all.

"If you can give one essential item to each other what will it be?" The radio host asks such a deep question for a morning show that starts at 7 am and Hyunjin only had half cup of coffee so far.

But since no one is ready with an answer yet, Hyunjin volunteers to be the first to give his answer.

"I want to give Felix confidence," he speaks into the mic.

Felix looks at him with glints of curiosity sparked in his eyes, a hand propped under his chin.

"Felix is much more cooler and skillful than he thinks so... I want to give him more confidence," Hyunjin perfectly explains.

A smile rises on Felix's face and that's why Hyunjin gets this sense of needing to protect him. Felix is pure and innocent, he's too kind and everyone knows what the world can do to someone like him.

"I want to give Hyunjin love," Felix surprisingly remarks.

Everyone inside the studio puts their attention on Felix as he straightens his back on his seat, "since love seems to be an important emotion for Hyunjin."

Felix leans closer to his mic and stacks his hands together on the table, "The more you have, the more you can conquer pain, that's why I think love is important and necessary."

Hyunjin smiles at Felix's sincere and warm words, it's in a moment like this that he feels deeply connected to a person more than anyone that it almost feels like a family.

When he thought Felix has done talking, he continues speaking, "I can lend it to him for a long time. He doesn't even have to return it."

As expected, Felix knows how to win people over with his sincerity which offers the opposite charm to his outer appearance. Hyunjin is grateful that he got to know Felix because he's one of the rare ones.

"Well, those two are giving each other essential items so that leaves me having to give myself an essential item," Han says, feeling left out because Hyunjin and Felix are taking everyone's attention.

Everyone has a good laugh at him and Han laughs at himself at well.

"It's because our Han already has everything," Felix indirectly compliments and at the same time, comforting him with gentle taps on his shoulder.

See? Hyunjin wants to put Felix in a glass case and protect him. He's just that precious.

The day drags on and that's weird. It's usually going by so fast but it's only one in the afternoon and he's at the soundcheck. He looks around not sure what he's looking for. He knows what or to be exact who he's looking for but doesn't want to admit it.

Without him realizing it, he starts to play the guitar solo of The Beatles' And I Love Her on his guitar.

When he turns around to start the soundcheck, he sees you standing on the pit, with your camera aimed at him.

Should you be suspicious that your day so far is going as planned?

Your luggage is completely sorted and you send half of your things to your mom's house. You found ideal angles as you walk around the venue and you got there in time for the soundcheck.

Can tonight be a successful one? You wonder.

They're still checking their instruments as you take your place down the stage, just behind the pit just to get new angles because you usually take them right on the stage.

As you check on your camera settings, you hear Hyunjin playing a song with his guitar. A song that you know and have been singing lately.

You look up and take a good listen to what he's playing. It's true, he's playing the guitar solo from the song. It's one that you've been humming.

"Let's start!" Han announces as they finish checking their instruments.

Hyunjin turns around and stops turning as he spots you there, your eyes automatically locked as if the two of you have been trying to get on each other's radar.

It's a popular song, Hyunjin could have heard the song somewhere or it's just a song that randomly pops in his head but you can't help but think that he heard you humming in the car.

You look away first and turn away to go somewhere, bumping into Vin backstage.

"What a coincidence!" He exclaims.

"We need to talk," he says with a serious face.

Vin has that undeniable charisma, one that screams authority and when he talks, he only talks of important stuff. Well, that's your impression of him so far.

And those four words sound scary that you get anxious.

Vin orders you to follow him, back to the hallway where it's quieter.

"The PR wants you to take pictures from the stage," he says.

You're still tense even though he's not saying you got fired or your work is terrible. He's merely telling you to start taking pictures on stage.

"You mean like... shot them right on stage?"

"Yes."

"Can I even do that?"

Vin rubs his chin spiked with stubble, "2-3 minutes are enough, right?"

"So I can do that—" you stammer because you've been trying to ask about it whether you can take a closer shot of the band right on stage.

"Pick your time and coordinate it with Lou," he instructs you and giving you no chance to ask further about it.

Can this day get more suspicious? Ah, maybe you shouldn't be overthinking it. Maybe the universe is giving you a chance to truly show him what you are capable of.

"I need you to do that thing again," you say to Lou.

"What?" He asks in confusion.

You turn your back at him so he can land a slap on your back to release jitters. He laughs before giving you what you want, gentle slaps on your back.

"No need to worry much. I'll help you," he assures you.

You choose to get on stage during the second part of the concert, right after the first part where you know the crowd goes the wildest for their hit song.

Three minutes should be enough, you're going to get there and take as many pictures as possible.

At the appointed time, Lou is giving you the green light to proceed. The plan is he's going to help you navigate on stage but something comes up, Han suddenly asks Lou for the other bass.

You're already on stage and they're already playing the intro even without Han on there. You quickly walk around just close enough to take pictures of Felix and turn to Hyunjin next.

The limited time only reminds you to keep going and three minutes are up, taking a step back, your foot got caught in cables and accidentally unplug Hyunjin's guitar in the process, cutting him off midsong.

You almost stumble backward but a hand grabs your elbow so hard, preventing you from falling on stage.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Hyunjin shouts right to your face.

"I'm so sorry," you meekly say.

Lou drags you back to the side of the stage, knowing that you just caused a technical failure. Good thing that the crowd doesn't boo you or worst, blame the band.

Is this why things have been going well? Because it wants to strike when you least expect it.

It's getting worse because Vin says nothing when you came to him with a sincere apology, he only tells you to get back to the green room right after the concert. You'd rather have him scold you or even cursed you for doing such a shitty job than got nothing but a disappointed look on his face.

You're on the verge of crying but with all the staff still roaming around, you hold it in. The last thing you can do from this day going far shittier than it already did is letting people know you have a very shitty day.

"You okay?" Felix asks in concern even though he just got off the stage and sweat still dripping down his neck.

The sight of him only makes it hard for you to keep it in, you go in for a hug and cry into his chest.

"It's okay, it's okay," he comforts you while his hand softly patting your back.

"It's just one song. No one will notice," he tells you.

The more he tries to comfort you the harder you cry. You don't know what would happen if you were working for any other band and there's no Felix in it, you would be miserable. The only reason you got through everything is because of Felix.

You stay quiet as you sit in the back of the van with Felix, still upset at yourself for what you've done tonight. Tears just won't stop flowing out of you and you keep wiping it with the back of your hands.

"Let's just have fun tonight, huh?" Han suddenly comes up with an impulsive idea.

"Let's just go somewhere," he says without waiting for everyone's approval.

Lou tells the driver to change the destination, sending the van going in the opposite direction of the hotel.

Felix puts his jacket on you as you step out of the van since you're only in your t-shirt and denim shorts, "stop crying, babe," he tells you, gently wiping your wet cheeks with his knuckle.

You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, also you're going somewhere and you don't want to be seen as if you've just uncontrollably sobbed from a bad day at work even though that's what happened.

"Get us a room!" Han tells Lou as everyone arrived at a place with dim lighting.

It's when you arrived in the room you realize that it's a karaoke room. Han doesn't wait but starts choosing songs to sing as if he hasn't sung enough for the night.

Bottles of drinks got sent into the room not long after and everyone starts drinking. Not going to lie, this is exactly what you need: a lot of alcohol and no one is stopping you, guess they know how much you needed it.

It doesn't take long until you start loosening up, picking up a mic to sing a song with Felix. A song that you both know well enough and forget what happened that day as you sing your heart out.

Soon, everyone has forgotten all about it. Everyone is having fun and that includes Hyunjin. Seeing him reminds you of how bitterly he snapped at your face earlier, you understand that he was mad for what you did but still... you thought things are going well, until tonight.

"Thank you," you tell everyone at the end of the song, aware that they're coming here without Vin's permission. It's unclear the reason why they came here out of a whim or maybe they tried to make you feel better, either way, you're grateful that they're in the room with you.

"Thank you," you say again and about to burst into tears again.

"Lou, pour her a glass, quick!" Han tells him.

The night continues with more glasses of alcohol taken and songs being sung in gibberish words. You stop drinking knowing that if you take another one, it will be the end of it.

Lou and Hyunjin are the ones still sober enough to help walk heavily drunk Felix and Han out of the building even though you drank more than both of them.

"Can you walk?" Lou asks.

You hold your thumbs up at him despite feeling like the floor is about to swallow you whole.

It's quiet again inside the van but this time it's because everyone is too intoxicated to talk. Hyunjin volunteers to take Felix back to his room and get on the elevator first.

Lou is having a hard time taking Han by himself, you help as much as you can while carrying the bags with you.

Inside the elevator, you put your hand in the pocket of Felix's jacket to find his keycard inside. You want to go back to your hotel room quickly but Felix and the other members are staying on the upper floor.

"Felix's keycard," you innocently show Lou Felix's hotel room keycard.

Lou softly chuckles, "I bet they're struggling to get inside his room right now."

Once the elevator arrived on their floor, you're going to the right while Lou is going the other way since Han's room is at the other end of the hall.

You see Hyunjin comes out of his room and probably takes Felix there because you have his keycard. He's about to walk in your direction, you don't know why but you hurriedly hide in the hallway, out of his sight.

You shut your eyes tight as you hear his footsteps closing in, hoping he would pass you without knowing you're there, hiding like a coward.

But that's not what happens, he knows you're there.

You take a step back and lean against the wall, pulling Felix's keycard out of the jacket pocket.

"Here!" You hold it out at him while avoiding his eyes.

But instead of taking it, he takes a stand in front of you and looks down at you with eyes that are so intimidating, making you feel smaller than you already are.

"Just take the damn keycard," an annoyed sigh might have slipped past your mouth when you said it.

What Hyunjin does is take a step closer to you, sending you into a fight-or-flight situation. You think fast about which one you should act upon. Fight or flight?

But first, you dare to look up at him and find his eyes intensely staring right into yours. They're only eyes, you can surely win this fight, you reckon.

"Why do you hate me so much?" You blurt out.

It's the alcohol of course, there's no way you can boldly ask him such a question when you're sober.

"Tell me why? Because I don't get it. Why did I do to you that makes you hate me so much?" You lay your hands flat against the wall as you maintain eye contact with him.

"I'm drunk, you see? You can tell me anything and that's okay, I won't remember it when I wake up in the morning," you slur.

Hyunjin holds his gaze steady and with the same intensity, you don't know how he does that, he's so beautiful that it's intimidating.

"Go ahead! Tell me! Promise I'd forget all about it tomorrow," you encourage him more by widening your eyes even though your sanity slips away as every second pass.

It's getting eerily quiet and Hyunjin remains silent still. You let out a low sigh and be the one to break the eye contact when all of sudden, he crashes his lips with yours.

His hand found your jaw and holds you still, he places his other hand on the nape of your neck so he can easily angle you to deepen the kiss.

His lips... as soft as you can imagine and tastes so sweet, gently brushing over yours like melting ice cream. His tongue swiftly parts your mouth open, invading your mouth to get as much taste as he can.

A low moan escapes your mouth as he drops his hand to the arch of your back, drawing your body closer to him. In no time, your bodies mold into each other like they're two missing pieces perfectly put together.

Hyunjin kisses you so passionately but at the same time, holding you so gently like you would break if he holds you too hard.

On the other hand, you're confused by this. He's been playing with your feelings without you realizing it, at times he can be so nice then he turns mean, hot, and cold, it's always unpredictable weather with him.

Now, he's kissing you and making the butterflies in your stomach fluttering awake, stirring chaos inside you. But if it's time for you to die, you wouldn't mind because it's the best way there is to go.

Hyunjin suddenly pulls away and his hands pushing you away until your back hits the wall, somehow your eyes dart at his lips, red and glistening wet like one ripe apple, tempting you to have another bite at it.

But he puts a space by having you pinned against the wall with his hands grabbing each side of your shoulders, his smoldering eyes bore into yours, then he says,"Now, try to forget that!"

And just like that, he walks away, leaving you reeling with the taste of his lips lingering in your memory.

Now, how can you forget that?

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atlabeth · 11 months

Text

leave the door open - anthony lockwood

summary: no matter what happens, there's always the light underneath the door. the sign that, when you're ready, he'll let you back in with open arms.

a/n: obviously inspired by leave the door open by silk sonic because i could (and have) listen to it on repeat for hours. this spiraled way out of control but im honestly really happy with it and i hope you all are too!

wc: 8.2k

warning(s): mild angst, arguing, hurt/comfort, mildly serious injury, short scene with a gun/gunshot wound, but the whole first half of the fic is fluff and it is all wrapped up w a fluffy ending

127.

128.

129.

13–

Your focus was broken as police sirens blared past your window, and you let out a long-lasting sigh. This was the fifth time your count had been interrupted, and you weren’t starting over again.

Trying to sleep was a fruitless endeavor at this point, and that wasn’t going to change no matter how many notches in the wall you counted—you might as well accept it.

You’d never been much for sleeping through the night, but your new home boded worse for it all. A new room, a new house, a new city, a new agency. Being in the thick of it all after what felt like so long on your own was overwhelming, and it still felt like it could all fall apart. Being given the job all because you passed a few tests in the living room didn’t exactly feel like security.

You sighed as you slipped on a sweatshirt and walked out of the attic— your room, at least for now— carefully moving down the steps in an effort to not make much noise.

35 Portland Row was filled with warmth, that much was obvious from your short time here, but that warmth had not yet penetrated your skin. It was all too foreign.

You meant to go to the kitchen and make a midnight cup of tea, but your eyes were drawn to a slightly open door, light spilling out in the cracks. The library, if you remembered correctly from Lockwood’s tour.

It must have been George. You didn’t know much about him, but the way Lockwood described him certainly made him seem like the type to be up pouring over books until the early hours of the morning.

It wouldn’t hurt to say hi. Let him know that they’d added another restless soul into their agency.

You pushed the door open a bit more, knocking on the wall as you leaned against the door frame, and your eyebrows rose slightly when the boy looked up.

“Lockwood,” you said, tamping down on your surprise.

He said your name with a slight smile and a bow of his head. “Couldn’t sleep?”

You nodded. “Have you got room for one more?”

“Always,” he said with a gesture at the seat across from him.

You closed the door behind you and took the offered chair, glancing down at the papers in front of him. “What’s got you up?”

“Bills,” he said dryly. “The mortgage, the utilities, our certification, and now—” he looked at you— “another agent on the payroll.”

“I’ll be sure to try and bring in more than you spend on me,” you said, and he smiled as he set his pen down.

“How thoughtful.” Lockwood laced his fingers together before he leveled his gaze fully at you. “And what’s got you up?”

“Just what I said,” you answered with a shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t gotten used to this place yet.”

“Hopefully it doesn’t take too long, because you’re going to hit the ground running,” Lockwood said. “We’ve got a meeting tomorrow with a client, and if all goes well we’ll be having tea with a Visitor by noon.”

“Honestly, that would make me feel like I fit in more,” you said. “I’m much better with the ‘nearly dying’ part of this job than the settling in part.”

He cracked a small smile. “I’m hoping we’ll avoid that part, especially with your help.”

Your eyebrows rose. “You’ve got that much faith in me?”

“I assumed you knew the amount of faith I have in you when I hired you,” Lockwood joked. “Your Touch is just what we’ve been missing.”

“Thank you for taking a chance on me,” you said. “There’s always uncertainty about freelance agents because we work on our own, but I promise I’ll try my best to merge back into a group.”

“Like I said,” Lockwood’s eyes twinkled, “I’ve got full faith in you.”

You chuckled and nodded, and you tapped the desk before you stood up. “I’ll leave you to your devices. Thank you for the talk, Lockwood.”

“Try and get some sleep,” Lockwood said. “After all, tomorrow is when you prove yourself.”

“Ah,” you said sagely. “Tomorrow will determine whether I have a job or I’m back on the streets.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he said, and he looked wholly genuine. “You’re part of Lockwood & Co now, and we take care of our own.”

You nodded, your lips quirking into a small smile. It had been a long time since someone had so clearly said to you that they would watch out for you— that they saw you as more than just your Touch.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

Lockwood nodded, his expression turning slightly wry. “Besides, the only real reason I think I’d fire you is if you got us all killed.”

“You can’t fire me if we’re all dead.”

“I suppose that means you’re thoroughly employed,” Lockwood said with a smile.

You chuckled. “Good to know.”

“Truly, though, try and get some sleep.” He picked up his pen again, clicking it a few times. “We might be London’s smallest agency, but we take cases the likes of Fittes would handle.”

“As long as you try and get some too,” you said.

Lockwood smiled, but there was a notable absence of a promise. “Goodnight.”

“Are you always in the library?” you asked suddenly. “Because I— I find myself awake a lot at night. It would be nice to know when you’re open to chat and when you just want to be alone.”

He nodded. “I’ll leave the door open for you. Just like tonight.”

You stared at him for a moment more, taking in his slightly ruffled hair, his undone tie and rolled up sleeves. The dark circles under his eyes.

“Perfect,” you responded softly. “Goodnight, Lockwood.”

"Goodnight," he repeated, that same small smile on his lips.

You closed the door behind you.

You fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

It was another two weeks until your next sleepless night.

Kept busy with countless cases, you were exhausted near every time you stumbled back through the doors of Portland Row. Part of it was from adjusting back into an agency after being on your own for so long, the other part was the seriously intense jobs that Lockwood kept taking.

And you did adjust, that was true.

You didn’t know if you and George were exactly friends, but he allowed you to help when he cleaned up in the kitchen, and you’d already spent a few afternoons in the archives together—today had been the best, him sharing all the material he found with you and willing to listen to your theories and look at your notes. He was warming up to you, at least.

Lockwood was completely different. He exuded charm, all easy smiles and plying words meant to get someone’s guard down. It was how he operated, how he had to live—everyone underestimated him so he took it upon himself to prove everyone wrong. His name was on the door, after all, as he liked to remind you all.

Maybe that was why he was always up, you thought, because as you slowly moved down the stairs, rubbing grogginess out of your eyes, you noticed that the light was on in the library again. Door slightly cracked open.

You huffed a laugh before you knocked on the frame again, pushing it open to see Lockwood in almost the exact same position as last time. Instead of a variety of papers, though, he was hunched over a map.

He said your name, a small smile already pulling at his lips. “So we meet again.”

“We live in the same house,” you said wryly, “and we work together.”

“All the more reason to be thankful that you put up with me past billing hours,” Lockwood said. You chuckled, and he gestured at the chair across from him. “Take a seat.”

You did, and you tapped your fingers on the table before you took a look at the map. “What’s got you up so late?”

“I’m scouting out a potential job,” he said. “A very old, very haunted mansion owned by a very rich family.”

“I like the sound of that,” you mused.

“So do I.” That spark was in his eye again, and you found yourself watching him as he talked. “The patriarch called me last night, and I met with him and his wife while you and George were at the archives today. He offered the job of clearing his ancestral home, and I told him I would get back to him after I consulted my colleagues.”

“Colleagues,” you hummed. “I like the sound of that too.”

Lockwood chuckled. “I thought after freelancing for so long you would be against working so closely with a team.”

You shrugged. “I needed a change. You lot have been a pretty good one.”

“It’s certainly an honor,” Lockwood said with mock austerity, and you rolled your eyes with a laugh.

“Just get on with it, Lockwood.”

He nodded, and he pushed the map over to you. “I was going to lay it all out for you two tomorrow morning, but since you’re here, I might as well get your opinion on it.”

You took a moment to fully examine it. “Well, it’s certainly very big.” You glanced back up at Lockwood. “How much are they willing to pay?”

He smiled. “Fifty thousand pounds.”

Your eyes about burst out of your head, and you slid the map back over to him. “That’s all I need to hear. I’m in.”

Lockwood laughed and he took it back from you. “You don’t even know anything else about it. You could be walking into a death trap.”

“Every job I did on my own was a possible death trap, and none of them were for fifty thousand pounds,” you said. “I’m in—I don’t care if half of England is haunting that house.”

His smile faded a bit, and he cleared his throat as he looked you in the eye. “You know, you haven't talked much about why you were a freelance agent. Even during the interview.”

Your brows furrowed at the sudden question and you shrugged. “I wanted to be.”

“Everyone knows it’s a lot more dangerous than being in an agency,” Lockwood said. “Ghosts are hard enough to deal with in a group— going on your own is asking for trouble.”

“Before I came in, it was just you and George,” you countered. “You’ve got no supervisors, just the two of you hoping for the best. I’d say that’s asking for trouble.”

“You’re deflecting,” Lockwood said.

You glanced away, finally letting out a sigh as you leaned back in your chair.

“You don’t have to—”

“Because from the moment I discovered my Talent, I’ve heard horror stories from agencies. Entire teams going down on doomed missions, sole survivors left to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives. It happened to one of the teams in my agency, and I knew I wasn’t going to wait for it to happen to me.”

Lockwood’s eyes softened, and he stayed silent as you continued.

“I have no team, I have no roommates—when I’m on my own, no one has to worry about me,” you said quietly. “If something goes wrong, and I die, that’s it. No guilt, no problems, no legal trouble. No mourners.”

Lockwood frowned. “That’s not a very good way to look at it.”

“Never said it was,” you said wryly. “It’s just the way I look at it.”

“Your family would care.”

You shook your head. “They wouldn’t.”

He was silent for a good moment, and then he reached over and took your hand. It was a shock at first, your eyes widening slightly as they darted up to meet his, but he was calm as ever.

“You’ve got us now,” he said. “Lockwood & Co. Me and George. And we’d care very much if you were to die, so I’d appreciate it if you refrained from that.”

That got a watery laugh out of you, and you felt the beginnings of tears behind your eyes for some reason. “I don’t think that was in my contract.”

“It was in the fine print,” Lockwood assured. He looked so much younger when he smiled, like he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“That changes everything then.” Your voice was slightly stilted as you pulled away, and you turned slightly as you wiped at your eyes so he couldn’t see. If Lockwood noticed, he didn’t say anything.

“Try and get some sleep,” he murmured. “If George is on board, we’ve got a very long day tomorrow.”

You nodded, clearing your throat as you stood up. “You too. Can’t go into battle without our fearless leader.”

He chuckled and nodded, his eyes never leaving you as you walked to the door. You paused, setting your hand on the frame, and turned around.

“Thank you, Lockwood,” you said, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I mean it.”

He smiled, and you found yourself lost in it for a moment. He really was beautiful. “Any time.”

And so your days continued on as a certified member of Lockwood & Co, becoming more integrated by the hour.

It wasn’t much longer before George took to you, and when you found a break in a case that saved you hours of potential digging through the archives, your spot as ‘respected colleague and potential friend’ was cemented.

Lockwood already knew more about you than most, putting him in the ‘weird friend, weird boss’ category. The man literally never slept, and all the information he knew about you was willingly given to him through late night vulnerability. You needed to start forcing yourself to stay in bed, if not solely to keep some secrets between you.

But— yeah, he was nice. Easy to joke around with, easy to work with, easy on the eyes. You’d smiled and laughed more in a single month at Portland Row than you had in three years as a freelance agent. Far better than the lonely studio apartment you holed up in between cases.

The warmth was beginning to penetrate your skin, you thought with a slight smile.

“What in the world are you doing?”

You were snapped out of your thoughts by a voice. You looked up from the baking sheet to see Lockwood waiting in the doorway with a small smile.

“Stress baking,” you said with a slight chuckle as you continued scooping dough onto the tray.

“At two in the morning?”

You shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep, and extra research wasn’t doing me any good. I had to get the nerves out somehow, and unless I fancied a nice bout with a Visitor, I couldn’t exactly go for a run.”

“So you decided on cookies instead,” he said wryly. “You know, you really should try and get more sleep.”

“Says you.” You finished filling up the tray and you picked it up, glancing at Lockwood as you walked over to the oven. “Every night that I’m up, you’re up too. That’s got to be unhealthy.”

“I’m a busy man,” he responded. “I can’t have half of my employees running around sleep deprived.”

You chuckled. “Good to know you care.”

His lips quirked into a smile. “Always.”

“But you have to care about yourself, too.” You shut the oven and set a timer on your watch, then gestured at the counter where an already finished tray sat. “Try one.”

“Sugar so close to bed?” he joked.

“Oh, please,” you brushed your hand through the air, “we both know you’re not falling asleep any time soon.”

Lockwood cracked a smile as he walked over, picking up a cookie from the sheet. “Chocolate chip?”

“The best,” you confirmed.

He took a bite and he hummed as his eyebrows rose. “Surprisingly good,” he said after he swallowed.

“‘Surprisingly’?” you repeated. “Why can’t they just be normally good?”

“You may have noticed, but George is our resident chef.” Lockwood finished the rest of the cookie, much to your silent delight, and he went to the fridge. “I’m just surprised we’ve got two culinary experts on the team now.”

You chuckled and shook your head. “I’m not anywhere near an expert. I’m much better at baking than cooking, so George has that market cornered.”

Lockwood smiled, and he finished his cup of water. “He’ll be happy to know that. He’d probably love to share some of his recipes with you.”

“I’d love that more,” you said. “His halva the other day was incredible.”

“I’ll let him know. Of course,” his eyes twinkled, “he’d probably be more flattered if you told him yourself. If there’s one thing he’s prouder of than his work in the archives, it’s his work in the kitchen.”

“I’ll be sure to,” you agreed.

“Are you going to sleep anytime soon?” Lockwood asked as usual.

As usual, you rolled your eyes, bit back your smile. “I’ve got two more trays worth of dough. I promise I’ll go after they’re done.”

“Good,” he said with a nod. “Do you also promise to leave some for us?”

You laughed. “Of course. I didn’t make them just for stress relief, you know.”

“Good,” Lockwood repeated. “I’ll see you in the morning, then. The later morning, rather.”

“You get some sleep too,” you said, pointing your spatula at him, “or else all of these are going to George.”

He placed his fist over his chest. “Cross my heart.”

“Good. Now get out of here.”

Lockwood chuckled as he walked out, spurring a smile of your own. You picked up a cookie and took a bite, humming in approval at the taste.

“Normally good,” you murmured to yourself as you watched the oven. “Not surprisingly good.”

(When Lockwood came down the next morning, there were two plates of cookies sitting on the counter. He moved to take one, but then he noticed the Post-its.

One read GEORGE and one read LOCKWOOD, each in front of their own separate plates. There was another at the top—NO STEALING :) or I will never make cookies again

He chuckled, his mind wandering to you as he finally took one—from his plate, of course—and bit into it.

Normally good, he thought with a slight smile.

A fine addition to the team indeed.)

You yawned as you walked down the hallway, rubbing at your groggy eyes. You couldn’t sleep, as was per usual when you were working on such a big case, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.

Your mind ran a thousand kilometers a minute any time you even tried to close your eyes. Truly, you had no idea how George functioned with a brain like his.

You were about to go into the kitchen to make yourself your usual midnight cup of tea, hoping it would work its usual magic, when you saw the door to the library cracked open.

You couldn’t help but smile. He’d told you and George to go to bed early to make sure you were all ready for the job the next day, and here he was. Restless as ever and still a liar.

You pushed the door the rest of the way open, blinking a bit at the lights as you leaned against the frame. “Up late again, Lockwood?” you asked, and he started when he turned to you and said your name.

“You should be asleep,” he said.

“So should you.”

“I’m looking over the floorplans one last time,” Lockwood said. “This place is huge, and I want to make sure I know every part of it.”

“We’ve drilled the exits a thousand times,” you said. “We already know the mansion inside out—cramming at midnight isn’t going to help anyone. Actually being rested for once will.”

Lockwood gave you a wry look. “Awfully strong words coming from you.”

“I was going to the kitchen to make some tea,” you defended. “And then I was going to go right back to sleep.”

He smiled as he looked at you, and then he nodded and stood up. “Alright. Come on.”

You raised your eyebrows as Lockwood started walking, and then he took your hand and started pulling you along.

“Oh my god,” you said with a laugh, “I can walk on my own.”

All he said was, “I know,” in that annoyingly cocky tone of his, and you continued following him as you went up the stairs. When he pulled open the door of his room, you

“Neither of us are very good at staying asleep,” Lockwood said wryly, “and I really don’t trust you to get enough in the face of tomorrow. So…”

“You think sleeping in the same bed will help,” you surmised.

He shrugged. “At the very least, I’ll be able to make sure you do fall asleep.”

“Then the same goes for you.”

“Obviously.”

You stared at him for a moment. You didn’t exactly… know what to do.

The words rushed out of his mouth. “Of course if you don’t want to—”

“No,” you interrupted, shaking your head. “No, it’s alright. I want to.”

His lips quirked into a smile. “Alright.”

You pulled back the covers, clearing your throat as you took your side and Lockwood took his after turning the lamp off. You didn’t know why this was so awkward, sharing a bed with the boy you’d worked with for the past few months, but it was. You’d faced down countless ghosts together, but this was apparently too much.

“Your bed’s comfortable,” you said, desperate to break the silence. You stared at his wall, your back turned to him, Lockwood in the same position.

“Thanks.”

“I don’t know how you’re ever not sleeping through the night with a mattress like this.”

Lockwood chuckled. “Sight isn’t my only talent.”

You smiled. “Very true.”

“Why are you always up?” he asked. “I know my old bed isn’t the most comfortable, but it seems you’re always up.”

“It seems you’re always up.”

“Deflecting,” he said. Your mind flashed back to the first night in the library.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I’ve always been a restless person, but being an agent has just… worsened it. I had a couple of bad months working on my own and I don’t think I’ve fully recovered.”

“Ah.” You could feel his breathing in the slight shifts of the bed, and it was oddly comforting. “I hope that we haven’t made it worse.”

“Oh, no.” You shook your head. “If anything, you’ve made it better. Portland Row is the embodiment of warmth, and you two are fantastic.”

“Well, we aren’t going anywhere,” Lockwood assured. “...I’m not going anywhere. So if you ever need anything, please tell us.”

Your voice was hardly more than a whisper. “Thank you.”

“Always.”

Your sleepless nights varied in frequency as the months went on.

Sometimes you were so exhausted when you staggered through the doors of Portland Row that you felt as if you could sleep the night away on the couch. Other times, despite being worked to the bone from a difficult job, you would find yourself staring up at the ceiling of your room, unable to get the visions from the day out of your head.

That was the lovely thing about Touch. The way you saw it, you gave a small part of yourself over each time you used it, and once you got it back, the things you’d seen were embedded in it—in you. It was awfully difficult to separate yourself from your jobs when you threw yourself so fully into it, when you had no other choice but to do so.

Lockwood and George had become accustomed to how deep you felt things. When you needed to be alone after a job, when you needed one of them to talk nonstop to keep you distracted, when you just needed to sit with them in silence and be assured that this too would pass, no matter how slow. That was the nicest thing about being part of the group—you didn’t have to lick your wounds on your own.

When it got really bad—and sometimes it did—you and Lockwood would share his room. His presence was unparalleled in bringing you comfort, and whispered conversations in the dark made you feel some sort of way. He was practically your savior.

When he wasn’t helping you through the night, more often than not, Lockwood would be up at the same hour as you. It was concerning, though you couldn’t say anything about it. He would just throw it back at you, claiming you should be asleep as well. At least George was exempt from the criticism. Bless him.

He found you in a lot of positions. Sitting on the floor of the kitchen scrubbing furiously at the plasm stains on your boots. Sitting on the floor of their living room, one of their case files in your lap as you recounted a previous case. Sitting on the floor of the basement, measuring out salt for bombs and ensuring their flares were stocked. You liked sitting on the floor while you did things, apparently—Lockwood had figured that out after a few weeks of sleepless nights. It was strange.

And of course, the occasional bout of stress baking, ranging from cookies to brownies to pastries and more. You once even baked an entire cake in the middle of the night out of pure anger, the result of a frustrating loss to a Fittes team. Not getting the case hurt a little bit less the next morning when you all had cake to dull the pain.

You found him just as many times. Sometimes getting his own cups of tea in the kitchen, sometimes reading those gossip magazines he was fond of, sometimes doing his own restocks of your supplies. Usually, though, he was just sitting in the library stressed over one thing or another.

You noticed he always tried to hide it from you, covering it with his easy smiles and well-placed jokes. It couldn’t be easy to run an agency as a teenager, no matter how small—you wondered how many restless evenings you would have to share together for him to drop the mask.

Eventually, though, it was decided that another agent was needed. Lockwood and his Sight, you and your Touch, George as an all-arounder—he was your only source for Listening, but it had never been his strong suit. After you nearly got ghost-touched because of that blatant lack of Listening, Lockwood put his foot down and put out an ad.

Enter one Lucy Carlyle: excellent Listener, skilled in Touch, a myriad of opinions. You liked her the moment you met her, her image only sullied by her taking two biscuits. You could hardly blame her though, the way George pushed her. He loved to push.

Due to a lack of rooms but an imminent need for Talent, it was decided that Lucy would room in the attic with you. You were able to get one of the spare beds all the way up to the attic between the four of you, and when you all promptly collapsed on the ground together, it was agreed upon that Lockwood & Company would stick to ghosts. Very good for team bonding, though.

It took Lucy a bit to get used to you, especially in such close quarters, but soon enough you were joking around and talking like you’d known each other for years. You knew she was good, but witnessing her listening was awe-inspiring. You almost couldn’t believe you’d gotten her over Fittes or Atkinson and Armstrong, but you weren’t going to complain. You felt as if your motley crew could do anything.

“I can’t believe he did this,” you seethed.

Well, there were certain things your motley crew did not need to do. Especially your leader.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that,” Lucy said.

“I can’t believe he did this!” you repeated, louder and more annoyed as you threw yourself against the wall. “How stupid can one boy be?”

“He was trying to save you, y’know,” Lucy said dryly.

“I didn’t need to be saved,” you grumbled. “He did it because he’s reckless and stupid.”

“...That’s fair,” Lucy said after a moment. “He is quite reckless.”

“Don’t forget stupid.”

Her lips twitched for a moment. “Perhaps you shouldn’t speak ill of the injured.”

“That’s just the dead,” you muttered. “And we speak plenty of ill of them.”

This was all because of a job that went wrong. And you were certain it wouldn’t have gone wrong if Lockwood could hold himself back for a moment.

“Are you sure that’s him?” you murmured, disguising your words with your cup of sparkling cider.

“Positive,” Lockwood confirmed. “Arthur Torres, one of Sunrise Corporation’s many useless executives.”

“Lovely.” You finished your drink. “I distract and you steal, right?”

“Actually,” Lockwood said, and you didn’t like that at all, “you steal, I distract.”

Your brows furrowed. “That wasn’t the plan.”

“I make the plans,” he said, “I can change them.”

“Not when we spend hours going over them to ensure they’re flawless,” you said tartly.

“Relax.” He smiled at you, and somehow it managed to carve through your irritation. He slipped the keycard out of his pocket and pressed it into your hand. “I’m very good at improvising.”

“Lockw—” You didn’t have the chance to chastise him the way he deserved before he slipped off, a very convenient waiter filling the space he left before you could dart after him. You scoffed as you placed your empty glass on their tray, your eyes narrowed as you glared at Lockwood from beyond.

He paid no attention to you, not until he made the signal. He ‘accidentally’ bumped into Mr. Torres, spilling his wine all over his jacket, and before the first apology could fall from his lips, you were gone.

You muttered curses under your breath the entire way, slipping past guards and security the best you could on the way to the stairwell. You took them two at a time as you hurried to the fourth floor, and though you were completely out of breath by the time you made it, you were pleased that there were no guards. George said he would have the security cameras disabled before you got there, so you just had to trust in him.

You continued to take in and let out deep breaths as you walked up to the door, and they turned into a sigh of relief when you scanned the keycard and it opened. You heard footsteps behind you and whirled around, your hand flying on instinct for the rapier that wasn’t there, and your eyes widened yet again when you saw it was Lockwood.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hissed.

He held up his hands in defense, as he stopped jogging, and then he brushed out the wrinkles in his dress shirt. “I came to help you.”

“You’re meant to be distracting Mr. Torres,” you said incredulously. “Lockwood, do you even care for the sanctity of plans?”

“I care about your safety,” he said, calm in the face of your anger. “That’s why I’m here.”

“And where is he? Hopefully not in reach of his various guards that could ruin us and our careers at any second.”

“I left him in the washroom,” Lockwood said. “How are you doing?”

You set your jaw, and you sighed as you gestured with your head into the now-open office. “Let’s just find this source so we can get out of here.”

Now came the not-so-legal part, that some may even call theft. Lockwood called it discreetly fixing mistakes, you called it your shoddy morals. Not that you were torn up about stealing from an executive businessman, you just didn’t particularly fancy losing your license over it.

A rich family had hired Lockwood & Co to find and return a source that was important to their family, and of course it was housed by Mr. Torres of the Sunrise Corporation. You’d no idea what it was with wealthy people and their flaunting of sources, but you’d had enough of it. They paid handsomely for the risk though, hence your shoddy morals.

This, honestly, was the easy part. You touched a few things, concentrated until your head hurt, and it led you right to it. Quite disappointing—you didn’t know why the Paladinos would keep a paperweight in the family, and more importantly how it came about to be a source, but that didn’t really matter. It sat on Torres’s desk, surrounded by Sunrise Corporation silver-glass, and just for extra measure Lockwood put it into a metal box of your own. You shoved it into your backpack, and the job was halfway done.

The other half was getting out without being spotted.

The two of you worked quickly to erase all traces of your being there, and soon enough you were hurrying through the halls together.

“That was good work.”

You ignored him.

“The Paladinos’ money will do a lot of good for us.”

You ignored him.

“Seriously. You work well on the fly.”

“We shouldn’t have had to work on the fly,” you finally said bitterly.

“Why are you so mad?” Lockwood asked with a slight laugh. God, his nerve. “It all worked out. We’ve got the source, we’ll get the payment, and we didn’t even have to deal with any Visitors. Torres is still clueless.”

“That’s not the point, Lockwood,” you hissed. You forced your expression back into neutrality as you walked out of the stairwell and back into the midst of the party, and you and Lockwood moved at a normal pace. He offered occasional smiles and nods to people in the crowd, and you both nodded at the guards at the exit when you left.

You couldn’t even relish in your victory, because once you’d gotten out of hearing distance, around the corner where no guards or partygoers could see or hear you, Lockwood stopped you.

“What is the point then?” he asked. “If none of what I said is the point, then what is the point?”

“The point is that you don’t trust me!” you exclaimed.

He immediately frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Why did you even follow me in the first place?” you asked. “It was your decision to switch it up at the last moment, and you couldn’t even follow through with that?”

Lockwood didn’t say anything, and you shook your head.

“You don’t trust me,” you repeated quietly.

He said your name then, a slightly wild look in his eyes as he turned to you. “That’s not it.”

“It is.” A muscle worked in your jaw. “Because if you thought I could do it, you would have let me do it instead of risking both of our lives. You wouldn’t have switched our roles in the first place.”

“Torres was suspicious,” he insisted. “He— he was saying things, talking about how he had to make his guards check on his office. He’s a paranoid man, and you could have been in much more danger if I hadn’t abandoned him.”

“That is bullshit!” you exclaimed. “God, it was your bloody idea in the first place! Is it suddenly not good enough? Am I not good enough?”

“That is not what this is about,” Lockwood snapped.

“Then what is it about?” you marveled. “Why did you switch roles in the first place? You’ve told me I could talk my way out of anything, but when the time comes, you shake things up for no reason. For no reason, Lockwood.”

“People know my face better than they know yours,” Lockwood said. “Torres was more willing to talk with the head of a rising agency, you were able to slip around easier because of who you are.”

“Why didn’t you think of that before we were in the thick of it all?” you asked incredulously, and you laughed. “I’ve saved your life multiple times, Lockwood, and you’ve done the same for me. You talk me up all the time to my face, saying I’m what this agency was missing, that I’m part of your family, that— that you’ll never let me go. But that’s all it is, isn’t it?” A shaky smile formed for just a moment before it broke. “Just talk.”

Lockwood said your name desperately, but you shook your head. “No. Justify it however you want, but you nearly sabotaged the entire job just because you didn’t have enough faith in me. That’s it.”

“I’m telling you, that’s not it.” He let out a ragged sigh, running a distressed hand through his hair, when he suddenly froze.

“Good evening, sir!” he called, confident as ever, like your argument hadn’t just happened. “We’re just—”

His voice broke off mid sentence, and then he yelled your name. You whirled around.

It was a guard, and he was armed. He must have spotted you when you were leaving the office, or maybe George had missed a camera and he’d seen your thievery—there were about a thousand things that could have gone wrong. For a split second, you stared down the barrel of the gun. Funny how you’d stared down what felt like hundreds of ghosts, and a bit of metal was what had you frozen.

The guard pulled the trigger.

Lockwood lunged.

You screamed.

“He’s lucky DEPRAC didn’t find the source in my bag,” you muttered. “They already interrogated me to hell and back while he was in the hospital. Luckily, it usually doesn’t look too good when an adult shoots a teenager and can hardly defend himself against it.”

“The bloke deserved to be fired,” Lucy said. “A paperweight is certainly not worth shooting someone over.”

“And it’s certainly not worth getting shot for,” you added.

“It’s kind of funny,” Lucy said offhandedly. “He’s the one that got shot for you, and yet he’s apologizing to you.”

“Because it’s his fault that he got us in that situation in the first place!” you exclaimed. You winced as your words sunk in, and you looked over at Lucy. “That was too harsh, wasn’t it?”

“...A bit,” she admitted.

You sighed dramatically and hit your head against the side of the wall. “I’m acting like a child.”

“A bit.”

“I just don’t know how he expects me to face him,” you said. “I’ve been working with him for the better part of a year, and somehow he still doesn’t trust me.”

“I… don’t think that’s it,” Lucy said.

“How could it not be it?” you said. “He wouldn’t have acted like he did if he trusted me.”

She shrugged. “Have you thought that it’s because he cares about you?”

“He cares about all of us, Luce.”

“He cares about you more,” she said plainly. “In a different way.”

Your head whipped towards her, and you stared at her for a good five seconds. “You are not saying what I think you’re saying.”

“If you think I’m saying it, it’s for good reason,” she said.

“We are colleagues,” you said slowly. “Nothing less, nothing more.”

Lucy said your name with a slight laugh. “He took a bullet for you.”

“He shuffled our assignments because he didn’t trust me,” you said.

“He shuffled your assignments because he was worried about you,” she countered. “He didn’t want you with Torres because if you were found out, Lockwood didn’t want him to remember your face. And he abandoned his post because he was worried about you, that something would go wrong and he wouldn’t be there to help.”

You stared at her before you continued your pacing. “You’re insane. You’re kicked out of the agency.”

“I’m right,” she said wryly. “And may I remind you again that he took a bloody bullet for you?”

“I’ve already given him that,” you said. “I lost my damn mind when it happened—almost tore the guard apart with my bare hands. I freaked out the entire way to the hospital with him.”

“And now you’re almost completely ignoring him,” Lucy said. “Face it: you like him. You just don’t want to admit it because it would mean having an actual conversation with him about it all rather than pacing a hole in the floor.”

“You’re wrong.” You huffed and leaned back against the wall. “You’re wrong.”

Lucy sighed and she offered a faint smile as she stood up. “You take some time to realize all this. I’m stealing George for an Arif’s run.”

“Leaving us alone,” you said flatly, staring ahead as she walked out. “You’re not clever, Lucy Carlyle!”

“Thank you!” she called with a laugh, and you hit your head against the wall once more when she closed the door behind her.

Sometimes you really hated your friends.

It wasn’t like you were avoiding Lockwood. That would be cruel.

Stupid as he was, he got shot, and he got shot for you. Avoiding him would be ridiculous.

You were just… strategically not talking to him.

And that was arguably worse, yes, letting him see you but not deigning to say a single thing to him that wasn’t business related.

It was even worse than worse because you’d inadvertently proven Lucy right. If this were any normal annoyance between friends, like the squabbles you and George were prone to or the bouts that your boys got into over patience and its virtues, it wouldn’t be this strong.

You’d held grudges against Lockwood before. When he forgot to soak your boots overnight so you had to go into an important job with plasm stains, when he ate the strawberry sprinkled donut just to spite you, when you and George were still in rocky territory and he made you marathon the archives with him for nine hours straight.

All of those, annoying as they were, were forgiven rather quickly. And yes, maybe this grudge was especially strong because of the severity of his injury, but…

You could admit it. Normal people didn’t hold grudges over their best friend throwing themselves in front of them to prevent them from getting shot. Normal people were thankful. Normal people could talk about their feelings when they realized it was the reason for their strife.

You, apparently, were not normal. And neither was anyone in this bloody agency, because nobody deigned to make it any easier for you.

Perhaps it was a bit stupid on your part, but you walked down to the kitchen anyway. You needed some tea to clear your mind. Instead, you were met with a half-shirtless Lockwood.

“Ah,” he said your name, looking up from his spot against the counter, “nice of you to finally grace me with your presence.”

“What are you doing?” you asked. It was almost embarrassing—you were meant to be holding a grudge and ignoring your feelings, and instead you were staring at him like a girl in primary school. Remarkable how quickly you forgot your objectives.

“The doctor said I had to redress my wound every day for the first week,” he said. “Lucy and George just went out, so I figured I would do it now.”

Your brows furrowed. “How do you feel?”

“Better now that you’re here,” he said. Lucy’s words pounded in your ears. “I don’t think you avoiding me is good for my health.”

You bit your lip and remained silent. Rocky territory, this was.

“It’s alright if you just want to stand there.” Lockwood grimaced a bit as he pressed the alcohol-soaked pad to his wound. “Moral support is very helpful.”

Remarkable how quickly the dam broke. You sighed and closed the distance, holding out your hand when you stopped a few meters in front of him. “Give it to me.”

Lockwood’s eyebrows rose.

“Give it to me,” you repeated. “I’ve dealt with many of my own wounds over the years. It’ll be a lot faster if I do it for you.”

His lips quirked into a slight smile as he handed the cloth over. “This is better than moral support.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You couldn’t help the small smile of your own as you started to dab at the surrounding blood on his chest, innately aware of your proximity but trying your best to ignore it. “This doesn’t look too bad, honestly.”

“I was shot,” he said dryly. “I think I deserve a few style points for that.”

“You’ve already earned them all, Lockwood.”

“That makes sense.” You felt his eyes on you as you continued to work, pointedly ignoring his gaze. “You know, they didn’t take the bullet out. Said it would be worse to take it out, and it’s not causing any problems inside. So I’ve got a bullet in me now.”

Your brows furrowed. “Interesting.”

“Indeed. I’ll be going off in airports for the rest of my life.”

Your fingers hovered over his chest for a moment, and you pulled away with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

It was his turn to frown. “What for?”

“For—” you let out another sigh, rougher this time. “For this.”

“It wasn’t your fault I got shot,” he said. “I quite clearly remember pushing you out of the way.”

“I know,” you said. “I— I am quite sorry that you got shot, though.”

“Obviously,” he said coyly, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m sorry for this grudge. It’s probably the stupidest out of all the ones I’ve held against you so far.”

“George keeps a running list,” Lockwood said. “I’m sure we can figure that out.”

“I’m serious.” Your hand lingered on Lockwood’s chest for a moment, his body warmth almost shocking, before you set the cloth down on the counter. You started to put a fresh bandage on, but you finally mustered the strength to look at him. “I was so upset at the thought that you didn’t trust me because your opinion means a lot to me, Lockwood. The way you think of me means a lot to me.” You cleared your throat, averting your eyes for a moment. “You mean a lot to me.”

Lockwood gently tipped your chin back towards him, your eyes meeting his. He really was beautiful—eyes that were softer than ever, his tousled hair, the slope of his jaw. Slightly chapped lips, the bags under his eyes that seemed to be permanent, the weight of the world on his shoulders that seemed to diminish ever so slightly when you were around.

Your Lockwood.

“You mean a lot to me as well,” he said. “Why do you think I reassigned us last minute? Why do you think I took a bullet for you?”

“Because you’re a reckless idiot?”

“Because I panic around you,” he said, “in addition to being a reckless idiot. Whenever we’re on a job, half of my mind is focused on ghosts, and the other half is making sure nothing happens to you. You drive me the best kind of insane.”

You couldn’t help but stare at him. You wanted to kiss him more than anything, to root your hands in that tousled hair and make it an even bigger mess. You wanted to make him realize he didn’t have to worry about you, because you weren’t going anywhere without him.

The words stuck in your throat. You finished applying his bandage, and you took a step away.

“Thank you,” you said.

He didn’t look angry or annoyed or irritated—he understood. He understood you.

“Always.”

And it was as simple as that.

It wasn’t really a surprise you couldn’t sleep that night. You hadn’t exactly talked to Lockwood since your show of emotion in the kitchen, embarrassing as it was. You made Lucy check downstairs before you went down for supper, and that was just so you could make the quickest sandwich of your life and immediately hurry back upstairs.

Pathetic, really. You mustered the strength to tell the boy you liked him, he returned it, you ran off and locked yourself in the attic.

And it wasn’t because it was too much. You just… you didn’t know. You might’ve driven Lockwood insane, but he turned you into a complete idiot. It was ridiculous. And you were not ridiculous.

So when night rolled around, when Lucy and George were sound asleep and the ghost lamps flickered on every three minutes and you had only the owls outside your window for company, you knew what you were going to do.

You threw on your sweatshirt, carefully padded across the floor and out the door so as to not wake Lucy, and you went down the stairs.

Surprisingly, you’d never felt calmer.

The light was on in the library. The door was slightly pushed open, the nondescript act that had turned into a beacon for the two of you.

You knocked on the wall before you pushed the door open some more, not waiting for an answer as you leaned against the doorframe.

Lockwood sat in his armchair, a magazine half open but neglected on his lap. His eyes shined the moment you stepped inside.

“Got room for one more?” you asked softly.

Lockwood’s shoulders relaxed, his throat bobbing for a moment before that damn smile pulled at his lips.

“Always.”

#anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you #lockwood x reader #lockwood x you #lockwood & co x reader #lockwood & co #x reader #reader insert #sadie writes

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