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#might as well be me
arunneronthird · 1 year
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one of the funniest things about grown up jon is he hasnt gone to school for 7 years and if no one else used this knowledge i will
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Does this Star Trek character know where the clit is?
Let’s start with the captains:
Kirk- probably? But he doesn’t always use it proper. Still better than most.
Picard- this man’s posture becomes a plank as soon as the word is mentioned. Yes he knows, yes it because he slept around as a student, no he will not talk about it.
Sisko- 100% knows and knows how to use it too. I think he loves giving head.
Katheryn- of course.
Archer- doubtful. He claims to know but he goes into every sexual encounter as well prepared as he goes into his role as captain or any battle situation or ANY contact with aliens or- I’ll stop.
Saru- no. Man’s didn’t even know his body was capable of surviving a major fever.
Michael- Of. Course.
Freeman- yes, but.
Pike- for certain. I think he also liked giving head or anything as long as his partner is into it. I just KNOW he’s also a little freaky, but refuses to show it to anyone, ever.
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kryptoncat · 4 months
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The Miser Brothers Song Rap Battle Remix Parody Video by Pat Noonan
This video was deleted off of youtube, but has been saved through the internet archive.
Links to the archived video: wayback machine, direct link
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trinityofone · 3 months
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who & Related Fandoms Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fifteenth Doctor/Fourteenth Doctor (Doctor Who) Characters: Fourteenth Doctor (Doctor Who), Fifteenth Doctor (Doctor Who), Donna Noble, Rose Noble (Doctor Who: The Star Beast), Shaun Temple Additional Tags: Post-Episode: 2023 Special 03: The Giggle (Doctor Who), Self-Discovery, (lol), Dating, Masturbation, Frottage Summary:
“I think I’m just…out of practice,” the Doctor admitted.
“Then find someone who makes you feel safe,” Rose said, “to practice with.”
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gingerreggg · 5 months
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Somebody’s gotta step up
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amiracleilluminated · 3 months
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everyone, their grandmothers and sam lake are shipping scratchwake, while i am sitting here, saying shit like "zane is a whimpering bottom and alan gave him the dick of the century in that 665 room"
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futurecorps3 · 6 months
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what if I… wrote something for Henry Winter…what then?
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I remember watching Goncharov while I was studying cinematography. Sure, on a technical level it's genius, but it was so boring. I'm sorry, I'm glad y'all like it but I was almost asleep by the scene with Ilya and the spoons like, I don't get it.
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dykg · 2 years
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well SOMEONE'S got to peg him
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eyeslikewatercoolers · 6 months
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Oh hey, congrats to the first Australian winner of DRDU.
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pilots-and-protons · 1 year
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I know folks talk a lot of shit about Tom never telling B'Elanna he loves her (and rightfully so - hey writers what the hell?). But I’m also fully committed to the idea that Tom simply prefers to show his love rather than say it.
Lots of Thoughts under the cut because where else am I supposed to ramble about my Tom Paris feelings except the tumblr void?
So first of all, it’s pretty easy to imagine Tom’s father wasn’t someone to regularly say that he loves his son, considering what we see of Tom's reaction to hearing his father saying that he's proud of him. There’s also the whole “crying is a sign of weakness” that Tom references from his father in Threshold (yes, Threshold), which doesn’t lend itself to the most touchy-feely household I’d imagine. Hell in the same episode, even Tom says that everyone expected “great things” from him, which certainly implies that not only was he constantly smothered in expectations, but those expectations (and therefore disappointments when he messed up), were explicitly linked to his actions, his achievements (or lack thereof). Not hard to imagine that Tom would star to equate actions to having a lot more meaning than words - and why he could often be pretty flippant with what he’d say, especially early on.
Secondly, there's also the fact that words tend to play into a lot of Tom's deflection and obfuscation of his feelings.
The first thing Tom does is save Harry from being swindled by Quark - but when he knows Harry’s heard the gory details about his past, he tells Harry to stay away from him for his own good. He's known for talking a lot, and often has many silly or witty retorts with no real substance other than they’re meant for a laugh (such as joking that they could set up a bicycle and pedal their way home). He uses indirect and sometimes teasing ways to tell B'Elanna he's interested, such as asking how she's doing with Freddy Bristow (before inviting her to go sailing - something action-based with a more direct intention), and joking that the Insurrection Alpha program should include a steamy romance between the chief conn officer and chief engineer. 
And just look at the dialogue from Blood Fever - B’Elanna’s the one to say “you can’t tell me you’re not interested in me” with Tom’s response being: “You’re right, I can’t”. Not a direct admission, not actually using his words to directly tell her that he cares about her - his actions do that, his refusal to give into her advances because he knows her judgment is impaired. The closest we get to Tom really admitting just what it is he feels about B’Elanna is after she’s been trying to convince him to give in, insisting she’s seen the way he looks at her and she knows exactly why he keeps inviting her to dinner and the holodeck. Tom even briefly buckles and gives into kissing her back, but eventually pushes B’Elanna away, saying "I hope someday you'll say that to me and mean it".
He doesn't say "I love you" in that moment, but between B'Elanna's monologue and Tom's comment, it's very obviously implied that he is in love with her - that it’s not just about sex, he really cares about her and what she thinks of him.
And Tom’s actions-over-words attitude isn’t just aimed at B’Elanna. Even when you look at early episodes, Tom talks a big talk like he’s some rogue loner - but after hanging out with Harry for all of five minutes, he then spends most of the pilot episode personally trying to make sure that Harry’s ok. His relationship with Chakotay is rocky at best, with insults thrown around from both sides, but he goes back to save Chakotay in the Ocampa tunnels anyways. In Time and Again, Tom takes a bullet to protect a kid and decks the guy who hit Janeway. Even alternate-reality Tom Paris in Non Sequitor argues with Harry and talks some real shit, but then shows up to help him anyways and literally gives his life to get Harry back where he belongs, with virtually no proof Harry is even telling the truth.
So to me, Tom’s actions are far more indicative of who he really is than his words. He lets his personal piece of home, his Chez Sandrine’s program be open for the whole crew to enjoy and then does the same with Fair Haven (both programs he made himself and likely took a lot of his personal free time). He spends two weeks eating food he usually complains about to give Kes a very thoughtful birthday gift in Twisted, even though he was fully aware that any feelings he’d started having for her would not be returned. He always invites Harry to join him in his numerous holoprograms, and in The Chute a lot of his time and energy is spent distracting and calming Harry down with discussions of food and home. He risks his life, and his relationships with the crew, by spending weeks under Janeway’s orders acting out undercover to try and find Seska’s mole. Even with no memory of his real life in Workforce, it’s Tom’s actions that speak loudest. Sure he flirts with his customers - but when he realizes B’Elanna is alone and vulnerable, he takes time out of his own schedule to find other couples with babies on the way because he knows she could use some friends. He also offers to walk her home and helps protect Seven and the others when they need to hide from the authorities.
So no, Tom doesn’t say “I love you” to B’Elanna - because those words wouldn’t hold enough real weight for him. He shows her he loves her by keeping her warm and alert in Displaced, rubbing her hands and blowing on her frozen fingers. He shows her he loves her by giving her space and giving her a way out of her oxygen deprived love confession after Day of Honor, with light jokes to mask the underlying message. He shows her he loves her by trying to get her to join in the Klingon martial arts program with him (to share in her heritage, to assure her he’s not afraid or disgusted by that side of her even if she hides from it). He reassures her that he loves her by physically bringing her into his grease monkey holoprogram when he realizes he’d been pushing her away. He shows that he loves her by doing everything in his power to stop her from changing their daughter’s DNA to remove the Klingon parts. And of course, when their “talking” gets confusing and passive aggressive and they’re not really getting anywhere in Drive, he shows B’Elanna he loves her by bringing the Delta Flyer to a dead stop (in the middle of a race he was ecstatic about) so they can have a real conversation. And then he proposes to her.
Actions, actions, actions.
Basically what I’m saying is, Tom’s love languages are acts of service and gift giving and quality time, and anyone who disagrees can meet me in the nearest Denny’s parking lot for fisticuffs. 
So uhhhh.... thanks for coming to my TedTalk I guess
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zephrbabe · 2 years
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I'm sitting here on the deck, with two friends. Everyone is working on their laptops while enjoying the out-of-doors.
They are both doing their Serious Adult Jobs, and taking meetings and lookin concentrated.
and i'm over here writing smut with a straight face.
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youtube
U2, October
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oldschoolteenflicks · 2 years
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i feel obligated to gif colin hanks and aaron paul in whatever it takes 
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gospelofme · 2 years
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Posting this dumb TikTok I made lmao!!!!
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agir1ukn0w · 2 years
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@jamiewintons
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