ok well since tumblr deleted my whole tag essay on this post which i'm going to be sad about forever, i'll try to recreate it in its own post.
so the op of the post made a great point which really touched on why i've been saying that i had a fundamentally different takeaway of season 9 compared to the rest of the fandom. i have a lot to say in response to this (i mean it), not in argument but in support and synthesis of it.
fair warning: this is essentially a thesis on seasons 8-10 and how they function as a unit, through the focal lens of season 9. the length is appropriate for this argument.
i'll start with dean at the beginning of season 9: he has a great struggle in 901 regarding gadreel possessing sam, more so than any other struggle he's faced when saving sam's life, which points to me as him being aware of and conflicted about sam's history of possession. he understands this is crossing a line because it's similar to lucifer and meg, and so accepting gadreel's deal is violating sam to a length dean hasn't gone to before. dean by and large is the one who has this particular ethical problem (shown throughout the first half of season 9), not sam. hell, dean is the one who leaves sam once gadreel's out, without even waiting for input because his self-loathing is that strong.
sam, on the other hand, is more textually concerned in his 912/913 arguments with the lack of trust ("i can't trust you, not the way i thought i could") and dean's selfishness ("you did it for you"). this is an ongoing conflict sam has with dean, since the beginning of the show. dean doesn't trust sam to make his own decisions and therefore makes them for him, without sam's consent or knowledge. sam wants to be trusted to stand on his own, and he wants dean to put the same faith in him that he puts in dean. this is the core of sam's needs; the violation of autonomy is just an externalization of these needs and this conflict.
and i don't entirely disagree with the connection between going behind sam's back to keep him alive against his will and a rape narrative. both involve a lack of consent and a violation of agency. however, it really doesn't stop there, and it's a lot more complex than that.
and that's what rubs me wrong about more common interpretations of season 9 that i've seen. because this isn't really what the season is about. this violation on its own isn't the point. or if it is on the surface, it's equally about sam lying to himself about what it's actually about. he's consistently left out of major decisions regarding his own life and then lied to about it "for his own good," and he wants the right to choose his own path.
except, as we learn, that's not true. he lied about it. because the point of the whole season is that sam and dean are the same. they will make the same decisions to save each other over and over again. the point of the whole season is that sam has been lying to himself.
i said this in another post, but i think a big reason sam was able to lie to himself about this fact is because he's had the opportunity to let dean go on several occasions. he's been unable to save dean the way dean has saved sam. he fails where dean succeeds. sam has been forced to endure a grief that dean has never had to experience because dean always brings sam back. and so because sam has endured these experiences maybe he's more comfortable letting dean choose death in the abstract—the hypothetical. but in reality when it comes to that point, sam can't actually follow through, because he's just as dependent on dean being there for him as dean is dependent on sam.
and that's what season 9 is about. sam has been lying to himself about this reality from the start. this is why 1019 parallels 311 regarding how insane sam is about dean. it's reiterating the facts we've known but with a new perspective, now that sam is done deluding himself. he needs to accept that he was lying to himself and to dean, and this is what allows season 9 to close and for season 10 to begin, because season 10 is a response to sam's realization. he chooses dean over everything else in a monumental display of hypocrisy and genuine understanding of himself and who dean is to him.
seasons 8-10 should be taken as a single, cohesive unit, and the show goes to great lengths to enforce this. season 9 mirrors season 8, and season 10 acts as a response to and therefore a continuation of season 9. you can see this in the way charlie's death mirrors kevin's (one brother's lies and deceptions leads to increasing stakes that could have been avoided through honesty and openness, which culminates in the death of their beloved ally, and the deceptive brother blames himself for that death because his own unethical actions led to it), or how both of them undergo a change in their physiology as a result of godlike power entering their bodies which mutilate them from the inside and have fatal consequences (sam with the trials, dean with the mark of cain) which can only reasonably be resolved with their deaths (and they both even enter the final stages of this conflict by going to confession). also the plot structures of seasons 8 and 9 on their own mirror each other very closely.
this is all very important because it outlines the purpose of each of these two seasons. it's about them being fundamentally betrayed by their brother, causing that brother to become desperate and feel rejected and unloved, only for them to get what they need out of each other to reaffirm their love. they have to function as a unit, because otherwise both season's primary conflicts (as in, the conflicts established in the first half of each season) are left unresolved. instead, sam gets what he needs from dean in 823, which means that in return dean gets what he needs from sam in 923, thus closing the circle that was opened in 801.
dean reaffirmed that sam is the most important person in the world to him in sacrifice, that he would choose sam over every single other person on earth—this is what sam needed to hear, because it's the foundation of the conflict in season 8, since sam thinks dean chose benny over him and this sent him spiraling into a suicidal depression and self-loathing. so season 9, consequentially, is about dean getting what he needs from sam: he needs to know that sam will do anything in his power to save dean, which is a conflict that began in season 8 (with sam not searching for dean in purgatory) and is reasserted in 913 when sam tells him that he wouldn't violate his agency if the situations were reversed.
and this is exactly what dean gets in 923, when sam says he lied about all of that. dean gets the affirmation that sam's love for dean goes beyond petty ethics, which translates to "dean is more important to sam than anything else in the world" where the "anything else" includes sam's own moral boundaries. this is important to dean because dean eschews his own moral boundaries for sam's sake and safety over and over again throughout the series, and this is a major source of his own character development (see: 122, 203, 214, 222, et cetera et cetera). sam repeatedly denies that he's the same way, and has proven at least once that he wouldn't do the same, so this is an important affirmation for sam to give and it's why dean had spiraled into a suicidal depression and self-loathing (look, another parallel).
so season 8-9 are mirrors of each other, and they have to be mirrors of each other in order to work structurally and for any of the conflicts presented to be resolved. season 10 then is a response to this which shows the consequences of those dual resolutions: aka, sam acts just as unethically as dean does in the rest of the show, except this time knowingly and intentionally instead of subconsciously as he has been doing up to now (see: 1001, 1003, 1004, 1018, 1020, et cetera et cetera).
in order for all of this to work, the conflicts in season 8 and season 9 have to be equal. i.e. dean has to violate sam and his ethics as badly as sam violated dean and his ethics. it also has to be suitably Bad because it's revisiting a conflict that's existed in various iterations across the entire show. this is why it's also deeply important that 923 dean's death also parallels 222 sam's death, because it highlights how this conflict has always existed and how sam and dean are similar to each other. they both make the same choices under pressure and go to equally unethical lengths. which is why season 9 couldn't end until crowley told the audience that sam was trying to make a deal with him to bring dean back to life, specifically after dean begged sam to let him die. the point, then, was never about the violation itself: sam disregards dean's right to choose death just as much as dean disregards it. the season is about how sam and dean are at their cores the same, and it's about sam becoming aware of that reality and then actively, consciously choosing it. which is what sam reiterates across season 10, as a response to his choice in 923.
he only realizes that this is a Bad Thing in 1101 (i.e. after the response has run its course) when he says they both have to change. and the "both" is important because they are the same, fundamentally. sam isn't innocent of this violation of agency and obsessive deception of his brother, and he needs to understand that before actionable change can be made, which is what season 10 is all about.
and there's something poignant that can be said about 1023 being titled "brother's keeper," because this episode is about sam playing the role of brother's keeper, only for it to blow up so spectacularly in their faces that it causes the apocalypse 2.0. it forces sam to recognize that his original conclusion (that dean was right, and that he was lying) was not actually the correct and moral way to continue living. the significance of 1101 only reveals itself in the foundation laid by seasons 8-10, because these are the seasons about sam discovering just how down bad he is for his brother and accepting it wholeheartedly. season 11 then seeks to fix what seasons 8-10 broke, which is of course the entire fucking planet.
and this is the problem: the first apocalypse was caused by the absence of love, and the second was caused by too much love. their love is a destructive force that has world-ending consequences. that's the point of these seasons, what it all comes back to. in receiving the exact type and strength of love they needed from each other, they ended the world. and this is the conflict they need to resolve in season 11, or at least try to. because their love for each other can, has, and will destroy the world, over and over and over again. this theme can't exist unless seasons 8 and 9 mirror each other, unless season 9 is about sam's hypocrisy.
without that world-ending love, they couldn't have started the second apocalypse. if sam weren't a liar, he would have respected dean's choices, and he would have let dean die. if sam truly cared about bodily autonomy, dean would have died in 923 when he begged sam to let him. but he doesn't; that's not the point of the narrative. of course the violation of autonomy is important, because it provides the foundation for the conflict. but the violation is itself a metaphor, a triple whammy of symbolism: the possession is a metaphor for violation, and the violation is a metaphor for betrayal (as seen through the lens of deception).
the point of season 9 is not that dean metaphorically raped his helpless little brother; rather it's that the violation of agency goes both ways, and sam is a hypocrite for trying to maintain his autonomy while stripping it from dean. it's a continuation of season 8, which thus compacts his guilt over "abandoning" dean in purgatory and his self-loathing and fears of not being good enough or worthy enough of dean's love, which thus causes him to act recklessly and injuriously toward himself and dean. it's not a positive conclusion by any means; like i said, this is what causes the second apocalypse, and it's only after they've ended the world twice that sam finally sits down and says maybe they were wrong about this whole thing. maybe their love is too destructive.
in 912, sam says: "something's broken here [...] we don't see things the same way anymore."
in 1101, sam says: "this isn't on you. it's on us. we have to change."
sam goes from blaming dean to blaming both of them, because he realizes that they're both equal partners in their toxic, fucked up love. season 8 and season 9 allowed them to become equals by giving each other the affirmations they desperately needed to achieve true enmeshment, and season 10 is the consequence of that unhealthy relationship.
the point was never that dean violated sam. he does that over and over again throughout the series without destroying their relationship. the point is that sam is willing to violate dean all the same, and he had to face that reality head-on and accept it to resolve the conflict between them and give dean the affirmation he needed, just like dean gave sam the affirmation he needed in 823. the violation was simply a vehicle through which the conflict could come to a head, and the most provocative symbol this show could possibly use was the metaphor of sexual assault and rape, given sam's history with it via meg and especially via lucifer.
i've probably written enough now. the tl;dr is that season 9 invokes what can be interpreted as a rape metaphor not to vilify dean or even really to continue sam's ongoing rape narrative (though the violation that occurs in season 9 uses this as a foundation for the conflict and that's important to understanding the gravity of the situation), but rather to give appropriate stakes to mirror the primary conflict of season 8 and provide grounds for dean to get resolution for the conflict that began in 801 and continued through 923. god i hope this makes sense because now i've written this essay twice and i'm so miserable because of it.
my apologies if any of this is repetitive or meandering or lacking in any way; i tried really really hard to recreate my original essay and also provide more evidence and groundwork for my argument but obviously i'm sure i've missed some details and overlooked structure in many places. not that i even really expect anyone to have read this far. if you did, i love you and please talk to me about seasons 8-10. i'm losing my mind
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For the ask game, migraine with Sky?
Ah, Sky, my baby. <3 I love him so much, I took some liberties, so I hope you don't mind.
Let's have some fun.
(Click here to read on AO3)
The night air was cool, though it felt much warmer and more humid to Sky now that they had spent a few days on Skyloft. The group had just departed his home through a portal, and Sky was eternally grateful that he’d had the opportunity to show them the sights and come to know that no monsters had attacked his home. Although it had taken his brothers a few days to physically adjust to the altitude difference, they’d managed to have a week of peace and relaxation before they had to leave once more. Sky still prayed in thanks for it.
Except now that they were wandering the dark woods in search of a place to camp, Sky felt strangely off. It made no sense, really – he’d just spent the last week relaxing and not doing anything strenuous; there was no reason for him to feel this way. His body felt tired, shaky, ill… he was coughing for no reason, his head was pounding, and his vision was blurred. Maybe he’d walked too much? He’d been taking it easy all week, and his body was downright pathetic in comparison to the others in his group, so he supposed it was possible.
Time mentioned something about trying to find a place with a better clearing rather than the brier they were forced to cut through in their current location. It made sense to Sky; they had a large group, they needed some more space. It would be nice if they could just clear this area for themselves rather than look for something naturally produced, though. Not that he wanted to cut any of the flora, he found it all very beautiful and fascinating, but goddess his head—
Sky lurched forward, stumbling on a root, and his world spun. He crashed into a tree, leaning heavily against it, blinking spots out of his vision. His head felt like it was being stabbed by Ghirahim’s daggers, his stomach felt like it was about to riot, and he couldn’t see.
He was hurting so much and he was so tired.
“Sky?”
The voice was loud, concerned. Sky cringed, mumbling, “’m ok… jus’ need a min…”
“Sky, what’s wrong?”
Sky hissed, sliding to the ground, cradling his head in his hands. Couldn’t they just be quiet and leave him alone for a minute? He could get this under control, but everything was too much. The stabbing sensation in his head only heightened as pressure built up, his eyes welling with tears and his sinuses running.
He felt hands touch him, and he shriveled into himself. He felt awful. He didn’t know what was wrong; Sky didn’t really get migraines, he didn’t suddenly get sick for no reason. Sure, he’d gotten very ill before, but not out of nowhere and not so quickly.
His head was screaming too much for him to piece anything together, but in the back of his mind some kind of nagging, urgent warning screamed.
Skyloft. Altitude sickness.
Surface sickness.
Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no.
“I… I’m going to…” he tried to explain, tried to piece together words and grit through the pain to say that he needed less air, that his body had adapted to the Sky far more than any of theirs, that—
Sky blacked out.
XXX
A strange scent entered Twilight’s nostrils.
He wasn’t really sure how to place it. He’d never smelled anything like this before, but something about it was nagging and it made him nervous. He turned, barely able to pick it up, and decided he should track it to be certain it wasn’t anything bad.
Grabbing his crystal, he said quickly to Time, “I’ll be right back, I need to check something.”
He shifted before Time had a chance to answer, and the scent hit him like a moblin’s club. Following it, he moved to the back of the group where Legend and Hyrule were clustered around Sky, who was leaning against a tree. That’s when Twilight abruptly realized the scent was coming from Sky himself.
But never mind the scent, Sky didn’t look well at all.
Twilight immediately shifted back into his Hylian form, and just as he was about to speak, Sky collapsed. Legend let out a yell of surprise and Twilight and Hyrule both dove to catch their friend. The rest of the group noticed the commotion and rushed over, but the rancher barely registered it.
Sky didn’t just pass out, he was convulsing.
Twilight put a hand on his arm to steady him, worried words on his lips. Sky was so tense, his arm would stiffen and relax and his entire body followed suit. The teenager grimaced but no matter what any of the heroes said, he didn’t acknowledge them.
“What’s wrong with him?” Wind asked worriedly. “Sky, why won’t you talk to us?”
Warriors walked around to Sky’s other side and motioned for Twilight to follow. The rancher did so, reading the expression on the captain’s face as something akin to recognition. “You know what’s happening, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” Warriors muttered, and everyone honed their attention in on him. Rather than explain, though, he said, “Help me get him on his side.”
Twilight did as instructed, though it was surprisingly difficult since Sky’s entire body was fighting the motion tooth and nail. It wasn’t even like he was trying to push them off or anything, but he was so rigid that it was like trying to roll a misshapen, heavy wooden plank. Just as they got Sky onto his right side, his entire body suddenly relaxed, and he let out a deep exhale and stilled.
And stopped breathing.
“Sky? Sky! Sky!” Legend yelled, shaking him as everyone became alarmed. “What the hell did you two just do, he’s—”
Sky’s chest rose and fell.
And everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
“What the hell was that?!” Wild asked no one in particular.
Legend immediately glared at Warriors. “You said you know what’s going on?”
The captain watched Sky as he knelt behind his back, a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Seizure. One of my men back in the war got a bad head wound and started having them, so I’ve seen a few. Looked just like that.”
“A head wound?” Hyrule asked, immediately running his hands through Sky’s hair, feeling over his scalp for any sign of injury. “But he’s not hurt. Has anyone seen him get hurt recently?”
“When would he have gotten hurt, we’ve been on Skyloft this whole time!” Legend noted, throwing his hands in the air.
Four looked at Twilight, eyes distant in thought. “Do you think it has to do with the altitude?”
Everyone quieted, looking at the smithy.
Upon noticing their scrutiny, he shrugged. “We got sick from being up there, could it be possible he gets sick when he first comes down to the surface? I’ve felt a little ill all morning, and I know you guys haven’t felt the best either. Nothing compared to when we were up there, but maybe it’s opposite for Sky?”
Time hummed thoughtfully. “It would make sense. He is far more adapted to being on Skyloft, after all.”
“So what do we do?” Legend asked, cutting to the chase. “There are no sky islands here.”
“Well, if we’re going off that logic,” Four continued. “Then what he needs is to rest so his body has time to recover and adapt.”
“And clean him up,” Twilight noted softly, seeing the moist stain on his clothes. He looked at Warriors. “Is that normal?”
The captain nodded. “Yes. He’s going to be unconscious for a bit, and he’ll be disoriented when he wakes up. It’s best someone be with him the whole time so he doesn’t wake up alone.”
Time looked around, and the calm, commanding expression that settled on his face helped everyone focus. “Champion, you and Traveler scout ahead and find a place to camp. We’ll take Sky to the river to the east. Contact Sailor when you find something.”
Wild nodded, determination gleaming in his eyes, and rose to his feet from where he’d been kneeling by Sky. Hyrule, hand still on the knight’s head, also shot to his feet and followed the champion farther into the forest.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Warriors asked skeptically. “They’re going to get lost.”
“They’re the best survivalists we have,” Time answered. “They’ll find a safe place for Sky to rest. Rancher can find anyone, and they only need to contact Sailor through that slate of his. I’m not worried about it. Let’s get him to the river.”
Twilight reached to roll Sky into his arms when Legend swatted his hands away.
“Let me get his sailcloth off first, he’ll throw a fit if it gets filthy,” Legend fussed, working with the brooch that kept it around their brother’s neck.
“I’ll get a change of clothes for him!” Wind piped in, clearly finding ways to diffuse his nervous energy. He grabbed Sky’s adventure pouch and nearly dove into it with gusto.
“Will he stop breathing again?” Time asked Warriors, his face paling a little at the thought.
“He shouldn’t,” the captain answered.
“Should… should we wait to move him?” Four looked between Sky and the captain. “Will it hurt him?”
Warriors’ face, which had been stony with everything happening, softened and he smiled. “No, Smithy, it won’t hurt him.”
Legend finished removing the sailcloth, allowing Twilight to hold his brother in his arms. He carried him close to his chest, his entire body relaxing at the proximity and at the thought that he could do something to assist. He’d felt entirely too helpless and overwhelmed watching that seizure. Time practically fished Wind out of Sky’s adventure pouch as the boy was only visible from waist to toes, his entire torso digging through the interior. When the sailor was plucked out, he had a change of clothes at the ready and a disgruntled look set upon his face.
“I was looking to see if he had extra blankets!” he protested.
Twilight chuckled and Warriors ruffled the boy’s hair. The group set out for the river.
The cool water did nothing to awaken the Skyloftian knight, making Twilight’s stomach churn with worry. When he looked at Warriors, though, the captain didn’t seem overly concerned. Unable to assist with the bathing, Wind preoccupied himself by getting into a splashing competition with Four, leading Time to take Wind’s pirate’s charm so he could listen out for Wild and keep watch. Both young teenagers were as soaked as Sky by the time Twilight, Legend, and Warriors were finished cleaning him up.
Sky was halfway redressed when his eyes started to flutter open.
“Sky?” Legend placed a hand on his bare shoulder as he shivered. Saying his name caught the entire group’s attention, and everyone hastened over. “Sky, how are you feeling?”
Sky’s breathing quickened and he grew anxious, trying to wiggle out of Twilight’s hold from behind him as the rancher was propping him up. Twilight took Sky’s arms and tucked them to his chest, giving a hug from behind. “It’s okay, Sky, it’s just us. You’re okay.”
“Link.” Warriors knelt in front of him, brushing wet curls out of his face. “You’re safe. You had a seizure. We’re taking care of you, you’re okay.”
Sky settled a little at the words, though from Twilight’s vantage point the teenager still looked confused and scared. His eyelids drooped and he nodded off shortly thereafter.
Time glanced at Warriors for guidance. The captain sighed, leaning back. “Yeah, he’s going to be like that for a while.”
Wind put his hands on his hips. “He’s cold, come on, get his shirt on him!”
Time glanced at Wind, caught off guard at the boy’s commanding tone, and then smiled.
As the group finished getting Sky dressed, Legend shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t think he’s had seizures before and then just not told us, do you?”
Twilight shook his head. “No. No, he hasn’t. Something in the air changed, he smelled different right before it happened. I’ve never smelled that before.”
“You could smell a seizure?” Warriors asked, eyebrow raised.
Twilight shrugged. “I mean I guess that’s what it was. All I know was it was different, and it was coming off him.”
Before anyone could comment, Wind’s pirate charm glowed, and Wild and Hyrule were excitedly telling them they found a place. Before either could even take a breath they were immediately asking about Sky’s condition, and Time quickly interrupted their interrogation.
“He’s doing okay,” he explained. “Just resting. Now where is this place?”
“Oh, it’s just south of the funny shaped boulder—”
“No, no, it’s southeast of the funny shaped boulder, but it’s south of the owl family with those cute little owlets—”
“Yeah, and there’s a tree that’s bent funny that looks like a portal but isn’t and that’s just like twenty paces away from the site—”
Twilight was grabbing his shadow crystal before Time even threw an exasperated look in his direction.
XXX
When he came to, he was… beyond disoriented. And confused. Because why did his head hurt? Why was he on something soft? Where was he? What happened? Why did his whole body feel like it had been stepped on by Koloktos, run over by Scaldera, and punched by Demise? Why did he feel so completely and utterly drained? Why was he on his belly? What was rubbing his back?
Sky groaned, trying to open his eyes, but he was so tired.
Something warm and gentle massaged his neck, and he involuntarily sighed as the tension was released. A gentle voice rumbled, “You’re okay, Sky. You’re safe. It’s okay.”
A little less anxious, Sky still tried to open his eyes. The voice sounded familiar. When he finally started to gather the strength to lift his eyelids, he flinched as something soft tickled his right eye. He kept it closed, opening his left, and he realized he was lying prone with his head turned to the left. The soft material tickling his face was a fur pelt.
Fur. Fur?
“Rancher…?” he mumbled.
He heard shifting on the ground, and then he saw a pair of knees before Twilight dipped down to be at eye level with him. He watched Sky silently, eyes warm and concerned, and then smiled. “Hey, Sky. Welcome back.”
Welcome back? “Where’d I go?”
Twilight chuckled, laying a gentle hand on his back. “Somewhere we couldn’t reach you for a while. You scared us. Smithy worked out that you probably got used to being up in the sky. We all did, in a sense; the Old Man even admitted to feeling kind of woozy when we got to the woods. But you just like to outshine all of us when it comes to the sky, don’t you?”
Sky smiled absentmindedly at Twilight’s low, gentle laughter, not quite catching everything.
Twilight’s hand went back to his neck, massaging it a little more. “Go back to sleep, Sky.”
Safe in his brother’s care, Sky settled, letting himself go.
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