#might make a compilation post of him doing that but I don’t remember when he does it and I don’t think I have it in me to watch the scenes- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

death2normalcy · 2 years

Text

Since I’m officially done with the main guides to Stray Kids, I figured I’d do a couple fun guides, just for, well, fun. I wanted to start off with the dynamics between the boys. I’ve already talked about the three main rachas (3Racha, Danceracha, Vocalracha), but I thought it would be fun to talk a little about each friendship. (If you want to see even more about them, I’m going to have a playlist related to each post, and I currently have a finished dynamics series!) (There is 28 different pairings in this group, so they have to be broken up into multiple posts, lmao)

This post contains the following dynamics: Bang Chan and Felix; Lee Know and Changbin; Lee Know and Seungmin; Changbin and Hyunjin; Hyunjin and Han; Han and Felix; and Felix and I.N.

*Sort of a disclaimer: Each pairing will have a little nickname/identifier attached to them. Most of them come from stays themselves, whether directly or indirectly, but some of them I kind of had to create on my own. They may not be super creative, but it is what it is, lmao

Bang Chan and Felix - “the aussie bros”

nickname is pretty obvious, lol. they’re both from australia

another ‘soulmate’ duo.

both boys have talked about how comfortable it is between the two of them and how they don’t have to be extra to show each other how much they care, they can just be. chan even stated that he wouldn’t be surprised if they lived together later on in life.

they clearly have a very special connection, i imagine being two aussie boys in south korea, far away from home without their families, helped make that bond stronger. i think chan has even talked about how he didn’t want felix to feel as lonely and depressed as he did, being so far from home, so he was there for him.

when felix was eliminated during the survival show, chan told him to come find him, that he would never leave him behind, and honestly, it makes me emotional just thinking about it

felix has mentioned, but i can’t remember where, that chan is like a real brother to him

chan is always telling felix how great his singing is and how much he’s improved. honestly, chan is just great at hyping up the other members.

Pairing name: Chanlix

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

Lee Know and Changbin - ‘the loud bunnies’

both of their skzoo characters are bunnies (even if changbin’s is mixed with a pig) and they are both loud. very loud. the loudest in the group, honestly

their love language is hand holding and food

completely unexpected. i never expected to love this duo as much as I do, but they may be my favorite friendship in the group

this is one of those duos that feels like we don’t see a lot of it. like, they’re more lowkey, a lot closer than we’d expect.

chan’s left and right hands. they help out with the other members a lot, and they also have a lot of affection and love for the other members.

there’s so much of them that’s been happening for this comeback, it’s wonderful

they both have each other as their phone backgrounds and it’s so funny and cute. that’s what clued me in that they might be closer than it seems. they have stated that they do this because it makes them laugh, and honestly, i bet they make each other laugh all the time

the romantics of the group, apparently (them and felix). the boys chose them, mainly lee know, as the most romantic, and i know they were kind of being silly and were talking about stay, but i’d like to think that lee know really is romantic, but like...lowkey romantic. and changbin just screams that he’s big on the romance, not gonna lie

they apparently fought a lot in their trainee/early debut days, but the other boys have stated that they would make up pretty easily

Pairing name: Minbin

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

Lee Know and Seungmin - “the divorced couple”

we finally made it here, lmao

listen, don’t listen to these two dumbasses

they go on and on about how they ‘don’t fit’ or ‘don’t get along’, etc.

but they care about each other so much, it’s insane

seungmin literally cried an entire river when lee know was eliminated on the survival show, and although i don’t know the source, i’ve seen fans say he stated that lee know was his favorite hyung at some point

lee know has talked about how seungmin was kind to him in the beginning and how thankful he was for that, and while he teases and bugs him a lot, it’s clearly out of affection (once again, gotta mention that 9th episode again, since lee know wrote his letter to seungmin about how he was thankful to him for helping him adjust to trainee life.)

lee know also never shuts up about seungmin and finds ways to talk about him on the regular

arguably more alike than they will ever admit

despite appearances, lee know is the softie in this duo

but seungmin still cares a bunch, of course

they’re referred to as a divorced couple because of the popular sketch that the group did. there’s actually 2 videos: the original and the follow up they did for their 3rd anniversary. they’re really hilarious, and I highly recommend checking them out! It’ll also be helpful because the boys reference these two videos a lot, so watching them will let you in on some inside jokes)

Pairing name: 2min

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube (there’s so many videos out there for these two, i recommend all of them, lmao)

Changbin and Hyunjin - ‘cuddle buddies’

this was the first duo that hooked me, honestly

and it’s mainly because of the thousand and one clips of these two being cuddled up together during lives and interviews (reason # 495904 why no one believes hyunjin when he says he hates skinship)

changbin will never shut up about how much he loves hyunjin and how wonderful he thinks he is, and that’s valid, honestly

changbin is one of the co-presidents of the ‘everyone loves hyunjin’ club.

he’s so obvious about it that the group teases him, lmao. you can see this in their recent video celebrating Chuseok. changbin selected hyunjin’s name for an activity, and although it was supposed to be kept a secret, everyone knew who he picked immediately, because changbin is not subtle

however, hyunjin is always like ‘no’ and it’s a hilarious dynamic

but he’ll be like ‘ew, no’ while being cuddled up to changbin at the same time

it’s clear that hyunjin find comfort in changbin and, if im not mistaken, they’ve been close since trainee days, but i can’t remember where i heard that

changbin definitely makes hyunjin laugh a lot, but again, hyunjin laughs a lot in general, lol

Pairing name: Changjin or Hyunbin

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

Hyunjin and Han - ‘enemies to lovers’

got into a lot of arguments as trainees, or at least, didn’t get along very well. han has been very open about being difficult and angry when he was younger and he tended to have issues with communication. they talked about their ‘feud’ in their 2 kids room episode and stated it was over hyunjin trying to help han out with something and han lashing out at him for it. they’ve talked about their fighting multiple times, even in earlier 2 kids room episodes from previous seasons. they’ve talked about how they almost physically fought once and how they were just terrible at communicating with each other.

but they’ve also both stated that all that fighting in their earlier days brought them closer together, because they have nothing to hide and can just be themselves with each other.

their fighting is where the ‘dance better, rap better’ stuff comes from that you’ll see a lot in skz content. its based off an argument the two had.

but don’t be fooled by the fighting in their earlier days. they’re very close now, and there’s clearly a great affection and love there, as well as respect

in fact, han is the other co-president of the ‘everyone loves hyunjin’ club

if it’s not changbin, it’s han all over hyunjin and these two basically just fight for his affection, but he wants none of it, lmao

just wants a kiss, lmao

also the dumb and dumber duo. i once stated that it’s wild they didn’t get along before because they share one braincell and that one brain cell is constantly thinking of ways to be funny and dramatic as hell

part of paboracha (from the korean word that means idiot or fool), which is a nickname the fans came up with to affectionately refer to the trio of hyunjin, han, and lee know after a live with these three being silly and answering riddles (i highly recommend looking it up, it’s so funny)

Pairing name: Hyunsung

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

Han and Felix - “the sunshine twins”

their birthdays are one day apart, hence the twins thing. some fans even speculate that, because of time zones and whatnot (considering han was born in korea, and felix was born in australia), they may have been born around the same time. although, i have no idea if that’s accurate

they honestly give me similar but different vibes. like, the same person, but not. it’s so hard to explain.

i could go on and on about how they are so similar but so different, honestly

another soulmate duo, in my opinion. there’s a lot in the group, but the whole group fits, lmao

i think they bonded pretty early on? i’m not 100% sure on that, but from the clips on the survival show, han was the first one to hug felix when he returned, and he seemed so happy. they seem pretty close, either way

they both light up a room, i think the group has even said this, but i can’t remember where, lmao

when han does his little kissing thing (you’ll know what i mean after like, 1 video compilation, i swear), felix will joke around with him and try to kiss back, lmao

little nerds. felix is really into gaming and can even put together a computer (?) and han is always into random and nerdy stuff, from what i can tell.

Pairing name: Jilix

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

Felix and I.N. - “the angels”

referred to as angels during their 2 kids room episode (by changbin, i think)

get babied by the fans the most, and i bet it can get annoying for them, considering they’re in their twenties

these two seem to be into clothes and fashion the most? at least, just from what i’ve seen. i.n. is always showing us his outfits of the day, and i believe felix has talked about spending lots of money on clothes (i hope i’m not misremembering that, lol) and seems to be into trying new things with his outfits

underrated. felix brings in a lot of fans, but he tends to get overlooked for his dancing, and it’s ridiculous, since it’s a core member of danceracha. and while i.n. does get praise for his vocals, he tends to get a little more overlooked than han or seungmin. again, neither of these happen that often, more often than not, fans praise all the boys. but if we had to discuss being underrated, than yea.

they clearly adore each other very much and one of the members (lee know?) said that they are lovey-dovey with each other

but there’s not a ton about them? at least, not that i see on the daily.

i.n. once did an asmr video with felix and i have to be honest, i love it. it was so good and cute, i recommend checking it out

Pairing name: Jeonglix

Their 2 Kids Room episode

Random video compilation on Youtube

#Stray Kids #skz guide #chanlix #minbin #2min #changjin #hyunsung #jilix #jeonglix #skz thoughts #and that's it for the duos!#as always #i have fun making these #i have one more idea for these guides and i think that'll be it #once again #if i got anything wrong #please let me know

124 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 1 year

Text

Okay, so here’s a thread for listing my various Teen Wolf projects available to follow up on in the server. Again, if and when these reach actual stages of completion, like I get a full one-shot done or complete a chapter of a WIP, they’ll still be posted for anyone to read. However, because there’s a lot, because I’m a lot, lol, there’s also way more than I’ll ever realistically be able to complete, so if you don’t mind that, OR want to try and urge me towards making sure one in particular gets more added to it or even completed, my patreon could be worth it in that respect.

For an example of the kind of content you’d find in the fanfic sections but NOT my Ao3.....here’s something for a one-shot set post-series, about Scott and Theo’s dynamic....none of this is the actual fic itself, its more just ABOUT the fic. Kind of a snapshot of what I wanted to explore in it, to refresh my headspace and get me back in the mindset I was in when I originally thought of it. But enough friends have assured me that people might be interested in just this as it is, that its worth offering up for your enjoyment even if this doesn’t end up being a fic I pick up again and complete.

The Not So Minor Details

Post-Series: The thing about Theo was at the end of the day, he probably understood Scott better than anyone else. Even his mom. Even Stiles. Hell, especially his mom and Stiles. The closer you stand to someone, the easier it is to let the little details pass you by. So sure you already see everything that’s there to see, you don’t bother with the second glances, the double-takes to check if that fleeting look you caught just a glimpse of before you looked away was actually something you needed to pay attention to, instead of just assuming you’d already know if it was.

Theo understood Scott better than anyone else, because when it came to Scott he took nothing for granted. He researched him, compiled notes on him and his interactions with everyone in his life. Did his homework, studied every inch of Scott McCall until he was ready to ace his final exam: knowing all the right buttons to push to get exactly the reactions he wanted Scott to have.

That kind of awareness of someone, the intimacy of knowing thy enemy so fully and completely you could slip right into their skin and be them, should they ever shed it for you to find and seize the opportunity….well. That doesn’t go away just because you’ve decided your enemy is now your ally. Just because you no longer want to use your the knowledge of them - that you’ve wielded as power that has hurt them, power that’s still there for the taking and could just as easily be used that way again - to do exactly that. Just because you’ve decided you don’t want to kill him anymore. Mostly.

Knowledge is power and power doesn’t stop being powerful just because you’ve locked it away in a drawer where you don’t have to look at, face the temptation to take it up and use it to do terrible things again. You can vow never to touch it all you want…that doesn’t keep you from knowing, remembering its there, seeing it right within reach any time you change your mind and decide you want it after all. Or even if you don’t.

Yes, Theo knows Scott better than anyone else, and that knowledge is just as sharp-edged as it ever was. It’s the weapon he used to kill Scott once, and it hasn’t been blunted by time or lack of use. It could be just as lethal in his hands now as it was back then. He hasn’t been defanged, tamed, domesticated. Lost any of his bite, his fangs and claws the slightest bit of their sheen.

The others might think Theo lurks on the outskirts of the pack like a toothless supplicant pathetically hoping to someday make his way back into Scott’s orbit, while they all know he never will. That they don’t have to worry about him anymore because he’s too weak to be a threat now that they know to be wary of him….and at the same time, he’s incapable of making the gestures, the acts of contrition that might get him back in Scott’s good graces. Reposition him where he can once more be the Iago whispering self-fulfilling prophecies of doom in the True Alpha’s ear when no one else is around - or paying enough attention - to counter any his poison-barbed words.

Its actually pretty fucking hilarious how wrong they all are.

Because the thing is - the thing that Theo knows about Scott, that he’s pretty sure Scott knows he’s figured out about him - the thing is, all it would take is two little words to worm his way right back through the very same chinks in the pack’s armor that left Scott exposed and vulnerable the first time around. It’d literally be that easy to repeat all the same moves to all the same outcomes, right under the rest of their noses. Because they were all so focused on their told you so’s and being right about him, so insistent that it’d been a simple binary equation all along, a “should you trust Theo” just needing a yes or a no and Scott’s cardinal sin was he’d selected the wrong one instead of just picking the one they told him to….

They were so intent on the ‘what’ of Theo’s betrayal, the acts of breaking apart their pack…they never bothered to pay attention to the ‘how’ of it all. Never bothered shoring up those weak spots in their defenses as a pack….because to do that, first they’d have to acknowledge where those were.

But Theo knows where they are, where they’ve been all along, and Scott knows it too. The irony of it all is they’re both equally incapable of pointing them out to the others - Scott because he doesn’t know how to get them to hear what he’s saying when he says I’m only human, I hurt too. That “I might be an Alpha werewolf but you all have power over me too, your expectations and needs and fears shape everything I do.” Or how “when you hurt me, it matters, my pain means something too, even if I can physically heal faster than you. When you hurt me, I need you to care enough to tell me you saw me hurting and you’re sorry.”

And Theo, well, he could point out how the only thing he needed to make Scott want to believe in him, was treating him as someone as much in need of help as he’s needed to help others. Creating a space for him to be vulnerable in, encouraging him to let himself be vulnerable….because Scott was that desperate for release, for any chance or audience to vent to, about all the stresses and traumas and anxieties everyone piled on him, expecting his super-strength to bear the load…that he was primed to leap at the first opportunity to confide in someone who wasn’t expecting him to have any answers, who just wanted to listen to his fears and insecurities about not having any answers to give anyone…

Theo could point all that out, but the thing they all know about Theo….is they won’t ever trust a word he says.

Not even the ones that are true.

#actual list of fics to follow

21 notes · View notes

confuzzled-crow77 · 3 months

Text

Brian Kelly Headcanon Compilation

Hello, mostly dead fandom! Yes, tis I, someone who can't skateboard and who was decades yet to be born obsessing over a skateboard movie from 1989! This is a bunch of headcanons about Brian Kelly, the peak of gender envy from Gleaming the Cube; I'll probably either make another post of more because this dude does not get enough attention (J.D. can fck off-). If you get different vibes or disagree, please give reasoning because I love seeing that, and I really hope that I characterized him correctly because I love him so much. Gosh, okay, I'm done.

Hogwarts House: the one might be a bit of a given - Gryffindor! He continuously shows how brave (rushing into danger to save Tina), stubborn (ignoring a police officer’s dismissal and investigating more), adventurous (looking for dry pools to skate in; plus, breaking into a storage center has to be a result of adventurousness in some part), foolhardy (jumping out of a car, blowing up a propane tank, crashing through a glass wall), and trusting (knowing his friends will come) he is. He’s bold, he’s playful, and he doesn’t give a shit about any rules except justice. He’s reckless, he’s an upstart, and by God is he a Gryffindor. (Hufflepuff - yes, he’s loyal, but he’s not patient; Ravenclaw - yes, he notices things, but he’s not wise; Slytherin - yes, he’s resourceful, but he’s not ambitious) Note: this is not meant to insult anybody; these are generally very stereotypical traits, so if you are a Gryffindor or any of the other Houses and don’t act like Brian, that’s understandable. Also, if you have another opinion, please let me know!

Swearing (Part-Canon): he never swears around his parents unless he’s extremely ticked off at them, which is usually in some kind of heated argument or when they’re scolding him. He mumbles curses under his breath when he’s losing at chess against Vinh, but other than that, doesn’t around him. He swears a lot more around his friends; not as much as some of them, and he’s not one to cuss somebody out derogatorily. Instead, he swears when he’s frustrated about not getting a trick right, or excited and whooping, or comforting a friend (“Forget those fuckers.”)

Percy Jackson Cabin: for this one, I was torn between Ares (Cabin 5) - Brian rushes into a gun fight, knocks the villain’s gun out of his hand with a skateboard, refuses to give up his fight, and picks a fight with a police officer; plus, stereotypically, Gryffindors and Ares kids overlap a lot. But Hermes (Cabin 11) shows a lot of Brian as well, since he’s always going somewhere on his skateboard - Hermes is the god of travelers and roads - and he knew to evade the motion sensor and tricked the guards to go inside a trailer - Hermes is also the god of cunning. I’m going to say that Brian Kelly is a Child of Ares, since his brash and courageous nature dictates the story, and a Legacy of Hermes, since his traits from that god more moves it along.

Doodler or Writer? I think that Brian is a visual person, and loves to doodle. His homework and notes in class are filled with more doodles than answers, and he likes to customize his clothes, skateboard, and shoes, either with pins or patches or dying/painting.

How do they Hold up in Pillow Wars? Are you kidding me? He’s the instigator, and he’s the winner. The only time he loses against Vinh is when either accidentally crashes the chess table, scattering pieces everywhere and upsetting Vinh; Brian helps him clean it up and try to remember where the pieces all were (with minimal fake remembering by Brian), and he declares it a tie. Brian is the kind of person to steal two and try to use his weight to smother his mortal enemy with them, while Vinh would just panic and start whacking him in the face (ah, brothers).

How he feels about people taller/shorter than him: alright, so I can’t exactly Google how tall Brian’s actor, Christian Slater, was in 1989, so let’s just say he hasn’t shrunk or grown in thirty-four years and is 5 '9. That’s average on the dot, but a good handful of his friends are taller than him (*looks at Tony Hawk*); that being said, he usually doesn’t mind it, since they’re there to skate. He does mind some, however, when people who are looking down on him are literally looking down on him (Officer Trac); when that’s the situation, he either subconsciously gets onto something like a wall or bench, leans back to show he’s unbothered, or gets in their face (all of these are nodded to). For people shorter than him, he’s not a jerk about it, unless they’re a close friend; then, only when they’re both comfortable, he’ll do the “searching around for who’s speaking” thing but stop when his friend rolls their eyes.

Do they Like being in Pictures? It depends. Brian hates staged photos, like with family where his parents are fixing his posture he thinks is fine and messing around with his hair and making him sit closer to Vinh when they’re already knocking heads together. When he’s around his friends and one of them is going around with a video cam, he’ll put on his shades and pose; it just feels more natural to him, like he has something to smile about instead of forcing it onto his face.

Not a headcanon; just a little personal tidbit. I associate the song, “18” by Anarbor with him because of an edit I saw that prompted me to watch the movie. With zero joking involved, I listened to the song at least forty times in two days because I was either eager to watch the movie when I got back from school, or obsessed the next day. I keep seeing it on J.D. (from Heathers) playlists, and I- it’s Brian Kelly’s song! (Just kidding, it can be both of their songs)

Spirit Animal: he gives me American Goshawk vibes. Supreme aerial agility, symbolism in courage, and they can be aggressive. Plus, with his frosted-tips hair, he has the feeling of a bird; I hope this makes sense.

Love Language (Canon Headcanon): quality time. From skating with his friends, to playing chess with Vinh, to hanging in the man cave, to dropping by in the fair-thing to see Tina, to getting her Coke and talking (which didn’t go extremely well), quality time is his love language. He likes to kidnap- I mean, forcefully invite his friends all the time to go skating, and also secretly map his way into abandoned buildings that would make wicked skating rinks, taking his friends there a few days later.

MBTI Type: ENTP-A

What Time of Day he is: mid-morning (9-12). He’s outgoing and carefree, and perhaps it’s my sickness of waking up at six in the morning, but he’s the blazing sun that's still rising on a day, but not in the early morning where you wish the sun would disappear so you didn’t have to get up.

Does he cross his legs or ankles when they sit? He'd manspread for the most part, or stick his legs out far enough to trip people and then cross his ankles. (Or perhaps sit like a gremlin, with one leg up on the seat and hugged to his chest while doodling on his homework and absolutely, completely paying attention to his teacher)

Truth or Dare? Dare, all the way; especially, around his friends, since their idea of a dare is a fancy trick on a skateboard or eating something weird.

#brian kelly #gleaming the cube #gleaming the cube (1989)#christian slater #Brian Kelly > J.D. /lh

3 notes · View notes

lookinghalfacorpse · 2 years

Text

in the wild all lessons last - extra scene 1

hello!! thinking of posting extra scenes and other random stuff that doesn’t fit into my fics on tumblr! if i get enough i’ll compile them on ao3 but for now y’all can have this

takes place between chapters 2 & 3 (dream is taking his first nap outside the torture box)

read the full fic here , info and trigger warnings here

“He looks like he’ll just… stop breathing at any moment,” Phil said with a nervous smile, “doesn’t he?”

Technoblade nodded. They sent Dream to bed an hour ago and checked on him twice during that time, and he hadn’t moved a single muscle since they last saw him. Techno grew all-too familiar with Dream’s sleeping habits after spending three months in an obsidian box with him, and even his rest seemed restless. His hands would wander and grasp, his breath would hitch and sigh at random. But now, looking small and unguarded in the center of the guest room bed, Dream was completely still and his breath was horrifyingly slow. There were several, long seconds between each inhale and exhale, and it was far too easy to imagine his chest stilling completely.

“He didn’t sleep like this in the prison,” Techno said.

“I believe it.” Phil sat on the edge of the mattress and took hold of Dream’s wrist, gently turning it and placing two fingers there, feeling his pulse. Dream didn’t stir or react. “He’s exhausted. I was almost putting him to sleep in the bath, did you see that?”

“I did see that.”

“This is probably the most comfortable he’s been in months, I guess it’s not surprising that he’s sleeping so… so deeply.” Brows furrowed, Phil switched to feeling the pulsepoint on Dream’s neck instead. “He’s just making me nervous.”

Techno crossed his arms across his chest. His body cast a long shadow over the mattress, dwarfing the other two men. Both Philza and Dream were so damn small. So much for hibernating, he supposed; he should be awake to protect them. “Think he’ll make it?”

“Oh, he’ll be alright, mate. Don’t you worry. He survived this long with very minimal care; he’ll thrive with good food and some careful treatment. If we sent him out into the wilderness, I think he would’ve dropped by now. But he’ll be fine here.”

The dogs were curious about Dream. Many of them stopped in, sniffed at him, and then went about their way, while others investigated the worst of his injuries, undoubtedly smelling blood there. Some welcomed themselves to his bed and laid alongside him, thankfully avoiding his wounds. All the commotion still didn’t wake him, and he didn’t even move much in response. Even his hair, which Phil tucked behind his ear during their last check-in, didn’t budge.

One dog was keeping a diligent eye on Dream since only a few minutes after he fell asleep. One of Techno’s biggest pups-- a survivor who endured Doomsday and all of the many battles that followed. She didn’t hop onto the mattress, but instead opted to sit like a statue near the nightstand. Her eyes, dark and observant, watched Phil’s hands as he quickly examined the bandages that were within reach.

Techno smiled. She was going to do this whether or not he asked her to, so he might as well make it official. “Come up here, Em,” he said, patting the mattress.

She obeyed, jumping up and sitting exactly where she was instructed. Techno took one of Dream’s hands in his own and displayed his palm to her. “This is Dream, okay? I dunno if you remember him or not, he was pretty different when you last saw him. He’s hurt right now, see?”

Em sniffed at his hand, nose lingering at the missing finger, long black eyelashes fluttering.

“He’s yours. Watch him. Make sure he doesn’t do anythin’ stupid, and if he needs somethin’, tell me or Phil. Probably Phil.”

Risking a glance at Philza, he saw his old friend smiling.

“This is gonna be a tough job, alright? This guy is stubborn, and he pushes too far.” Em traced her nose up Dream’s arm, nestling it into his neck as she sniffed at him. She lifted his jaw a bit in her investigation, and his next exhale came as a sigh. “This is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you. I’ve put you through enough. Sound like a deal?”

Without any further complaint or suggestion, Em laid down and placed her head directly in the center of Dream’s chest. A protective and reassuring position-- and, of course, it put her ears directly on top of both his lungs and heart.

Phil chuckled beside him. One of those low, throaty chuckles he did when he was using those mind-reading powers that Techno could never get him to admit to.

“What is it, Philza?”

“Oh, nothing, mate.” Phil patted a hand on Em’s back. “I’ll feel a little better with someone else watching his vitals. The biscuits are probably done, we should go take a look.”

#in the wild all lessons last #itwall #oh no why is it itwall #itwall????!!!!!!!#extra scenes #my fic #itwall extra scenes

124 notes · View notes

yellobb · 1 year

Note

I would be VERY interested to hear more about electric love and/or pigfarts 2: electric boogaloo 👀👀👀👀

From this

Electric Love:

Alright, this will date this WIP quite a bit, but do y'all remember that TikTok trend a while back where people would use the sound "Electric Love" by BØRNS and kiss their best friend for the first time (example compilation I found on YouTube)?

Well, imagine this: Baz and Simon have been best friends for years post-Watford, and Baz is okay with that because he'll take any bit of Simon he can get. And he's happy, because he adores spending time with Simon and being a part of his life.

Well, one day he's hanging out with Simon in their shared living room and gets up to make tea. When he comes back, he doesn't see Simon's phone, but thinks nothing of it, because why would he? When he goes to rejoin him on the couch, though, Simon kisses him, and for a moment he has everything he's ever wanted.

Except it's not real. Simon just kissed him for a stupid trend. And how in the hell is Baz supposed to come back from that; having what he's wanted for so long made a mockery of for a TikTok.

Here's an excerpt:

I loosen my grip as he pulls back a bit, eyes flitting across my face. I raise an eyebrow at him and smirk (it still gets a rise out of him). He huffs, and I can feel his breath on my lips. Then it’s no longer just his breath.

I don’t even think. I’m pure instinct, hands shooting up into his curls and shoving him closer to my face. I hold onto him as if the penalty for letting go is death. I kiss him with all that I have and all that I am. I think I might cry.

Simon tries to pull away, but I won’t let him. I’m suffocating on him. He can’t go until he’s breathed me in, consuming me completely in order to survive.

When I pull away, I’m gasping for air. I shoot Simon a feral smile as I attempt to calm my breathing.

I come untethered when I see the expression on his face. He looks apprehensive, but not in the way he looks when he’s giddy with nerves. He looks like he’s going to be sick. I feel my smile fall from my face and my eyebrows draw up in concern.

“Simon…?” I try to reach out and take his hand, but he shoots off the couch. My heart sinks into my stomach as a nervous laugh rips through Simon’s lungs. He’s sweating as he stumbles away. It’s then that I see his phone, propped up against the tellie stand, my face reflected back at me in perfect frame.

I'm literally so in love with this concept, and I love most of what I've written, but I cannot for the life of me pace the ending right (it's written, but I don't like it), so it's been in WIP purgatory since August 2021 :))))

PIGFARTS 2: Electric Boogaloo:

Now this one is a fucking monster of a project that I haven't touched since I wrote 10k words of it in December 2020.

So the idea behind this is that it's a Hogwarts AU in two parts. My sister was writing Simon, Baz, and the rest of the gang's time at Hogwarts and I was writing them as adults, hopefully to be updated in synch with each other. I won't speak on Liv's side, since I let her take the reigns on that part of the story.

Baz is a professor at Hogwarts, and it's all written from his perspective (I believe both parts would be). There's a whole fuckton of plot I came up with that I apparently never wrote down (it's still mostly in my head, don't worry ;)), but here's the summary I pitched to Liv (TW: major character thought to be dead):

Harry Potter AU where Simon and Agatha’s daughter is the chosen one, which Agatha can’t handle. She separated from Simon and became his secret keeper, but decided to let the mage in on the secret because she can’t handle that responsibility (the mage is evil so this ends up getting Simon killed). When Penny found out, she tried to kill Agatha and got sent to Azkaban. The one thing Simon didn’t want for his daughter, for her to grow up in a care home, happens because Penny was the godmother, so when Baz, the charms professor, finds out? He adopts her and raises her as his own, telling her stories of her father. When Penny escapes Azkaban, we learn that she cast a health spell on Simon when everything started going down so she would know if he was ever in danger. He’s been in danger for the past fourteen years, which means he’s alive.

I can't quite remember what kind of relationship I was going to give the Mage and Simon, but that's a later problem. Uhhhhhhh anyway here's a couple blurbs because I couldn't pick between the two:

I stop paying attention after the third student. They really should restructure this ceremony so that it’s shorter. With all the Mage’s “reforms,” I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t happened yet. The returning students just want to eat and the first years always look so mortified when they approach the hat. I let my mind wander to my lesson plans for tomorrow as I absentmindedly pick at my nails.

“Lucy Snow!”

My head jerks up so fast that I see spots. I’m sure that I’ve misheard. Surely it can’t be… But, as I watch, a thin little girl walks up to the stage with wild bronze curls, wide brown eyes, and a face-full of freckles and moles. I feel like the breath has been knocked from my lungs, and I have to grip the arms of my chair for support. His daughter.

---

The second time Lucy comes to my office, I’m more prepared. We spend the day recounting what I can remember of his and Wellbelove’s quidditch careers.

The third time, I tell her about his abhorrent eating habits.

The fourth time, we laugh about him getting sick on the train every year and puking in my aunt’s car (Fiona nearly committed homicide) while we share a plate of sour cherry scones absolutely smothered in butter.

It becomes a regular occurrence, even as the term picks up. I take a break from my relentless grading to tell her stories of her parents while we eat scones and drink tea. Honestly, it’s the best thing in my life currently. I thought it would be painful, reliving the memory of him, but it’s not as bad as I thought. I miss him terribly, but it’s nice to be thinking of him again.

Part of what's holding me back on this is Liv not being into fandom stuff right now, but most of it is a) how fucking massive it's going to be and b) how much editing I'm gonna have to do. My 10k words only get us to winter holidays of Simon's daughter's first year, and that year isn't half as plot heavy as some of the later years. On the editing side of things: I wrote everything before AWTWB and Baz's siblings are featured in it a lot right now, so I'll have to fix their names, pronouns, and characterizations, which will be a not fun time.

#m writes #m answers #wip #literally two of my favorite concepts on this list #I spent an hour making this response because I got so excited lmao #it was nice to go back through both of these #maybe I'll finish electric love tonight

8 notes · View notes

doomdomine · 8 months

Text

mini post of songs that remind me of eric — 🍓 !

the smashing pumpkins (the gnashing blumpkins)

- pennies: the intro is just so him. nothing else 2 say

- bodies: i feel like this song can be connected to how i see my attachment to him and how he saw the people that failed (??) him in his life. “come into my life forever,” hits so hard for me cus i know that if i haven’t outgrown him by now, i prob never will. especially when so many others who’ve surpassed my age are stuck on him and the case in gen. i also feel like i’ll never be able to ‘escape’ him cus of his mark on the world and how he’ll continue to inspire so many others in that way.

- to forgive: holy fucking shit the first time i listened to this he was literally the only thought in my head. “ten times removed / i forget about where it all began,” “holding back the fool again / holding back the fool pretends.” this song is just the embodiment of what i imagine he felt near the end. never fails to make me cry like a little bitch

- farewell and goodnight: reminds me so much of his humanity, of how much he tried yet still felt like he could never get it right. “heart strung is your heart frayed and empty / cause it’s hard luck when no one understands your love / its unsung.”

- blew away: eric’s version of dylan’s beautiful (lol) “please don’t ever leave / and i will grieve, and remember thee / hope to meet you there.”

hole (so funny cus if he hated sp no way he felt any better abt hole or courtney love 😭)

- northern star: “and blackest night and i wait for you / it’s cold in here, there’s no one left / and i wait for you,”

“he’s so cold / he will ruin the world tonight,”

“ghosts that haunt you with their sorrow / i cried cause you were doomed.”

- honey: “and everything you ever said, now tears me all apart,”

“he goes down, down to his bitter end / he knows now, now you can’t touch him,”

“i hold onto you like the death of an angel / and i hold onto you with all the life that’s in me,”

“why was i not good enough to save you from destruction?”

- pacific coast highway: “go with your gun in my hands,”

“i knew a boy, he left me so damaged / do you even know the extent of what you ravaged?”

misc. (basically just single songs from bands that i can’t compile into their own category)

- under the milky way by the church: “wish i knew what you were looking for / might have known what you would find.”

- stuck on you by failure: this song is more for me and how i feel abt never being able 2 escape him.

“i claimed i didn’t care for you / but your verse got trapped inside my head, over and over again,”

“i thought i’d drop you easily / but that was not to be / you burrowed like a summer tick / so you invade my sleep and confuse my dreams / turn my nights to sleepless itch,”

“stuck on you til the end of time / i’m too tired to fight your rhyme / you’ve got me paralyzed,”

“even when i’m alone / i hear your mellow drone / you’re everywhere inside of me.”

and uhhh i have a whole playlist dedicated to him w a lot of other songs but these r just the main ones that scream Him and im too chickenshit to link my profile here cus im paranoid ✊😭 but mayhaps…. one day…. mayhaps….

#tcc #true crime #eric #eric harris

2 notes · View notes

lostdrarryfics · 6 months

Text

THE BIG FIND 2023: Day 7

The Big Find is a 10-day long Drarry fic-finding marathon to celebrate the blog’s anniversary. Below is the Day 7 compilation of lost fics, both old and new, that we’ve been unable to find. Our aim is to get as much attention to these lost fics as possible, to help people finally find their missing fics! Anyone can participate by reblogging, reading through each list, providing additional fic details, and informing us the title, author, or link of a fic, and their respective number in the comment section. Happy finding!

7.1 I’m looking for a fic in which attacks keep occurring on death eaters and their relatives, by a vigilante group called Phoenix Tears. Harry was at the right place at the right time when Draco is attacked (in Diagon Alley) so he saves him and insists Draco stay with him for safety reasons and also while he recovers. Obviously feelings happen. Attack on Draco happens again, and it turns out it was Ginny who leads that group. It’s a bunch of ex DA members doing the “good” work. She says the reason for naming themselves Phoenix tears was because they’re curing the society from the disease of death eaters - kinda that logic, and also as an extension of Dumbledores Army as well, because he had the Phoenix… She is sent away, Drarry happens, all is well. The attacks are extremely dangerous and time sensitive. Not regular spell casting, but something like a completely newly invented spell or potions or gases, that act extremely quick. Dangerous on the same level of sectumsempra. If Harry wasn’t there at that exact moment, Draco would have 100% died. I think Harry was an auror. I read it on ao3 sometime late 2021. I didn’t have my ao3 account back then, so it wasn’t saved in my history! The fic is not Phoenix tears by magic8ballz. The one I’m looking for was completed and I 100% read it around October-November 2021.

7.2 I remember reading this once fic where harry is a waiter (I think) and he’s basically serving st dracos engagement party with daphane or Astoria ( I can’t remember much) then harry is all jealous the entire night and he finds it difficult to concentrate. Eventually they get together but that’s all I can remember.

7.3 looking for a completed fic that I read on A03. In it a group of vigilantes are attacking Death Eaters and Harry asks Draco to stay with him to keep him safe. I don’t think he is an auror. Ginny is involved in the group doing the attacks.

7.4 ao3 fic where draco is a healer and there’s a scene where he’s sprinting down a white hallway to heal harry, who’s seriously injured. i think after this draco tries to avoid harry bc they’ve broken up recently, although that may be a different fic.

7.5 i remember this one scene distinctly in an eighth year fic where harry went to wake draco up (think he was having a nightmare or something? not sure) and draco without waking up pulled him into the bed and like wrapped himself around harry. i thought it might be from “nice things” and there’s a similar scene but it’s not that. i feel like it was a short fic but honestly can’t be sure

7.6 Au Post war (or in the midst of the war) Harry and Draco, are on opposite sides of the conflict. Angsty, and Explicit. The nice guys are kind of losing I think. In this fic , I think Harry tells something about how he’s tired of being a savior, or how his friends don’t understand him or do not care about him. Hermione and Ron are briefly mentioned. Draco is a vampire (unsure?) Harry is a werewolf(unsure?) It's very rare to find Vampire x werewolf fics so thats why I’m unsure. I know for sure one of them is a mytical creature and their bite is dangerous/venomous to the other.(But I could be wrong), there’s something special that I think makes it necessary for one of them to be restrained, because their bite, or claws, or something about them is dangerous to the other. Harry and Draco are on opposite sides, and in this story its Harry who stumbles/is brought prior to the start of the fic in Draco’s place, idk if its the Manor or some other abandoned place. I think he’s brought to The Malfoy’s Manor because Lucius is mentioned at some point in the fic. Im not sure exactly how the fic goes but in this story things turned badly so either after Voldermort death, there is a climate of unease, or for some reason Voldemort is still alive and guiding his followers. The author thought the fic added some poetry lines/song lyrics(sort of) in between paragraphs as some sort of pacing (it was really beautiful). I think the fic is very short , only few chapters(almost certain its less than 15 but it's more likely to be 5 or 3) or 1 thats very long. It's much more likely that this Fic is from Ao3(almost certain), but it could also be from Fanfiction.net or any other site. Also, maybe but it's very unlikely, this fic could be in French. I think the fic ends with Harry and Draco going their own separate ways.

7.7 there are two fics in the series, the second at the time I read it was a WIP. Harry, Draco and other students from all different houses step up to fight/end the war feeling like the adults aren’t doing anything. They acted like a military and became quite regimented. They were super tight knit. I remember the WIP sequel the most. In the sequel they have to go back to Hogwarts after the war. It’s hard cause they’re being treated like children. They still act quite regimented, walking in groups, sitting close together, standing and leaving together - a bit like troops. Harry gives out orders still around sticking together and meeting for meals at certain times. In one scene a bird delivers a message in the great hall and everyone moves to protect Harry. I vaguely think the bird or message was something to do with Bellatrix. In another scene (I think this fic) Harry(?) is getting in trouble in class and his friends all push their books onto the floor.

7.8 Drarry, Ao3. I can’t remember much but there is a scene of Quidditch World Cup, Draco and Harry spent the night in other tent with friends. While in the Malfoy tent Narcissa and Lucius had invited Tonks to get reacquainted as family. During the Death Eaters attack the Malfoys along with Tonks were trapped in the the tent due to wards which drop in the morning.

7.9 time travel fic where harry in the 5 year at the department of mistery travel to the future, and finds out he is married with draco, draco soon realizes harry is not the same and he knows what is happening because harry adviced him that in some point he travels to the future (their present), draco tells him to do what harry needs to do in order to end up together

7.10 Draco sent Harry presents as courting gifts and was annoyed that Harry kept sharing them with everyone as he didn’t realise that they were courting gifts. I think it was sent anonymously? Not sure. What I do remember is that he sent Harry an expensive box of chocolates and complained when Harry just shared it with everyone at the Gryffindor table.

7.11 looking for a fic I read awhile ago. The only things I remember from it are one of them are a healer and their response is snarkily “I’m in the hospital.” And then one of the times they say they actually are in the hospital with an injury! I couldn’t even begin to tell you if it was Harry or Draco that was the healer. It was a mostly fluffy with probably some minor injury.

7.12 fic that I read on I think hp.adultfanfiction a long time ago. It was a top Draco and bottom Harry where they’re fooling around under the invisibility cloak. They’re outside watching a quidditch match

7.13 I think was a one shot and it wasn’t too long. Probably less than 10k words but I could be wrong. I think Harry has been committing crimes for years in relation to Draco. They were in an established relationship already and any guy that would flirt with Draco, Harry would severely hurt or kill. (I’m not sure) I remember at the end, Draco wakes up and realizes that aurors have found that Harry was the one committing all these crimes so they are trying to get into their house. They have to break down the wards first so Draco has time to go and make some sort of drink with poison inside. He goes back to bed and wakes up Harry so they can take the poison together. They lay in bed together and wait to die so they never have to be separated.

7.14 really old drarry fic in which Harry and Draco are together and Harry is studying at the Auror Academy. It’s a one shot about Harry struggling with taking care of Teddy and managing everything else bc he doesn’t want to ask Draco for help.

#the big find 2023 #drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic search #drarry squad

29 notes · View notes

almost-a-class-act · 1 year

Text

Fluffy Seasonal Prompts - December 10th

Christmas baking! That's it, that's the prompt.

Fandom: The Pacific (HBO) Pairing: Burgie/Sledge Author's Note: I'm so sorry, this one got a little sad on me. I am dealing with some trauma brain of my own at this time of the year and clearly I made Burgie wear it. I hope you enjoy anyway? I will be compiling my holiday fills and posting them together on AO3 after Christmas, where you can find me under roaroftheninth.

“This might,” Eugene says, doing a slow turn in the middle of the kitchen as though he is worried that if he moves too fast, he will upset something, “be too many cookies.”

Burgie wipes off his forehead with the shoulder of his shirt – the kitchen is a furnace, probably because the oven has been on without interruption all day – and he’s so distracted by studying the results of his handiwork that Eugene’s comment takes a moment to catch up with him. “What?”

“How many batches did you make?” Eugene asks.

Burgie puts his hands on his hips, and his gaze travels over the various cookie-laden surfaces in the kitchen as he tries to count. After the silence has gone on too long, he merely shrugs and returns his gaze to Eugene. “A lot. Why?”

Eugene has been paralyzed since coming home from overseas, which from the outside tends to look like idleness. It’s something that he knows is a privilege. Burgie came back and had to get right back to work on the farm, hitting the ground running as hard in civilian life as he had once done in the Marines. That had apparently suited him fine, so much so that when Eugene turned up, at loose ends and needing to get out from under his parents’ scrutiny, he had made the mistaken assumption that Burgie had a handle on it all.

And then, sometimes, Burgie has a moment or two to himself and he decides to clear out and paint the insides of the closets, or drag Eugene into the barn to kiss him in the pitch-dark like he’s on a mission from God to get the hurt out of the inside of himself, or apparently, bake dozens and dozens of cookies. That’s when the cracks show – when he has more than a split second alone with his thoughts.

Eugene remembers the first barrage they were under together, and the bleak realization that these men who were the veterans of many more battles than he were hardly less stunned and frightened than he was. It had been the leveling ground between them. He thinks that maybe something like it is happening again now.

“You know,” he says slowly. “No one would hold it against you if you didn’t… bake dozens of cookies.”

Burgie watches him for a second. There is no momentary flicker of confusion, no failure to understand what Eugene is really talking about. Damage recognizes damage, after all. “I don’t got a choice,” he says eventually. “I have to. For the old man. For the kid.”

“You can’t keep it out forever,” Eugene warns, grim and knowing, though he is not an expert on this, by any means. Anything he can do for Burgie is no different than one Marine grabbing another by the back of the shirt when the world is collapsing around them and dragging him somewhere that he thinks might be a refuge, even though there are no promises of that.

“If it weren’t this, it’d be drinking.” Something wracks behind Burgie’s eyes, like he’s come too close to a flame like that before. Like he’s hiding burns. “Cookies ain’t hurting anyone.”

There’s almost no warning before Burgie’s face twists in a way that Eugene hasn’t seen since they lost Ack-Ack, and Eugene only has to start to reach for him before Burgie almost collapses into him, wrapping his arms like a vice around his ribs and presses his face into the white collar of Eugene’s shirt. He’s not crying, but he can’t seem to catch his breath. Eugene holds the back of his head and runs his knuckles in a firm pressure up and down his spine, slowly.

I’m here now. I’m sorry I wasn’t before.

There are men like the two of them, no doubt, in almost every house in America. Eugene thinks about the last time he saw the Pacific islands disappearing behind him and the way he’d imagined that it would be the last time he would see them. Good riddance. He hadn’t understood yet that he would be covering those few hundred miles again and again and again, bringing the islands back with him. They are here now, specters in this little farm house kitchen, where they have no business being.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, aloud this time, and Burgie acknowledges it only by holding on tighter. Neither of them move for the space of time it takes Burgie to take one deep breath, and then another.

And then there is a sound outside, like a door closing from far away, maybe, and Burgie releases him. Eugene lets him go, keeping his own counsel as Burgie squeezes at the bridge of his nose, blinking away whatever he sees on the backs of his eyelids. Eugene doesn’t need to ask what it is. He’s sure he’d recognize it if he saw it.

“Huh,” he says, and likely because it’s easier, he surveys the kitchen again rather than looking at Eugene. “You were right. This might be too many cookies.” It doesn’t have the levity it deserves, but he tries.

“Now, hold on,” Eugene says. “Now that I’m thinking about it. Is there such thing as too many cookies?”

Burgie catches part of his lower lip under his teeth, raises an eyebrow in a facsimile of a shrug, and decides to go with it. “You know, when I was a kid, I did have a not-so-secret fantasy that being a grown-up meant you could eat cookies for breakfast whenever you wanted.”

“Well, I’ve got some good news for you, Burg.” Eugene reaches out and keeps his touch friendly, the grip on Burgie’s shoulder easily passed over as casual had they done it in the Marines. “I think it’s gonna be a cookies for breakfast kind of week.”

Burgie smiles, finally. “The kid is gonna lose it.”

“Like Christmas came early,” Eugene agrees. He gives Burgie’s shoulder a little squeeze, and then lets him go.

#HBO War Barely Coherent Christmas Chaos #the pacific #fanfiction #roaroftheninth #holiday prompt fill #christmas fluff

3 notes · View notes

delicioussshame · 9 months

Text

So I was going to post what is, sigh, part 4 of the TLJ/SY/OLBH AU, but then I saw that I hadn’t posted the previous parts here despite it being in the tumblr compilation? So have links: main fic, part 1, part 2.

____________________________________________

Shen Qingqiu will be kind. He will not mock Liu Qingge to his face. He, after all, understands how delicate the situation they were thrust in can be. It’s not his fault Shen Qingqiu finds the idea that Liu Qingge of all people is being courted by not one, but multiple demons hilarious.

Shen Qingqiu sets his poker face before making his presence known. “Shidi, hello. You haven’t stopped by in a while, so I thought I would check on you for once. How are you doing?”

Liu Qingge pokes out of another room, a frazzled look on his face. “Shen Qingqiu.”

“Indeed.”

He frowns. “Is there something wrong? Do you need help”

“No, I’m fine. Your disciples are doing a fine job of keeping demons away from my peak. Send them my regards.” They’re not doing a perfect job, Shen Qingqiu has had to send enterprising demons away, more or less violently, himself to protect his own disciples from their overeager pursuits a few times, but he can manage this much. It’s harder to explain to some people why they should not be encouraging members of another race with varying levels of comprehension regarding human morals to court them. “I’m not here about myself. I was wondering if Shidi needed support? You’ve been so busy fighting intruders, have you had any time for your own problems?” He’s not stupid enough not to recognise the deflection technique. Liu Qingge has to be busying himself with his preferred activity, fighting, not to think about the sect master writing appropriately diplomatic refusals to offers of bloody, bloody marriages.

Liu Qingge’s expression instantly darkens. “I’m fine.”

That was the least enthusiastic “I’m fine” Shen Qingqiu has ever heard. “I’m sure you are. Why wouldn’t you be? It’s nice, being popular.”

…Ah, damn it. He told himself he wouldn’t poke the wound. “I’m sorry. I spoke too much. I just wanted Liu-shidi to know he could count on me if he needed someone.”

He can see the storm clouds gathering around Liu Qingge. “I don’t need help. I’m busy. Leave.”

It would be nice if there was a way of telling Liu Qingge that Shen Qingqiu was one of the few people that actually were not there to witness his shame, but then he would have to explain to him why he wasn’t. Liu Qingge seems like he’s one of the few peak lords who have not figured it out. He would rather keep it that way, thanks. The chances of Liu Qingge attempting to distract himself by trying, and quite possibly failing, to slaughter the current dynasty of the demon realm are much too close to a hundred percent for Shen Qingqiu’s liking. “Fine. I see I’m disturbing Shidi. I’ll take my leave. Shidi can just remember he can visit whenever he wishes.” Shen Qingqiu might miss their sparring sessions just a little bit, okay? He gets that in his current mood, Liu Qingge might be too angry for him to handle, but still.

Well, he’ll leave for now. Liu Qingge will end up beating enough demons to soothe his bruised ego someday.

Hopefully soon, because there is a demon in his bamboo house when he returns.

Shen Qingqiu inwardly sighs. This isn’t even the first time this happens. Demons who manage to enter Cang Qiong often have little idea of who they want to reach, or which peak hosts them. Some spots the bamboo house and figure it’s as good a starting point as any. “I understand that we are currently negotiating peace, but by human standards, showing up uninvited in someone’s home is quite rude. Please return to your realm and wait until the negotiations are over with. We will be in a better position to receive a delegation properly once the terms are settled.”

The demon looks strangely nervous, lost in a somewhat endearing way? He’s obviously high-ranking enough to have been at the banquet, though Shen Qingqiu does not remember him. “Junshang shouldn’t have to wait that long.”

…Nothing about this comment is good. “I haven’t introduced myself. I am Shen Qingqiu, peak lord of Qing Jing. You are?”

“My name is Zhuzhi-Lang.”

…Yep, he’s in trouble. That’s Tianlang-Jun’s beloved nephew. Rumor has it they are closer than Tianlang-Jun and his own son.

A high-ranking demon indeed. “Can I ask why you are visiting? Maybe you are looking for the sect master? I will escort you to Qiong Ding right away.” As much as he hates having to do this, Yue Qingyuan is better positioned to handle this than he is.

“I’m not. I’m here for Peak Lord Shen.”

Sweat rolls down his back. “And why is that? I cannot conceive of a reason for us to meet like this.” If only Liu Qingge had followed him home, he would not be in this mess. Liu Qingge would have taken one look at this one and pulled out his sword. He would have taken all the fallout, and no one would have blamed him for it because what else is Liu Qingge supposed to do when he’s faced with a demon? One intruding on a peak lord no less?

Shen Qingqiu is not Liu Qingge. He has no idea whether he can take on Zhuzhi-Lang, but he doubts it. He’s not a defeating-heavenly-demon type of cultivator.

“Junshang wants to see you. He’s been waiting, but since you won’t come, I’ll take you to him.”

Nope. Not happening. “I’m afraid I can’t come with you. As I’ve said before, the negotiations aren’t over. We are still enemy factions. I will not be visiting the demon realm on its ruler’s whims, especially not by myself. If my presence is absolutely needed, then it should be requested via formal channels.” It won’t be a marriage proposal, right? There’s no way, right? Sure, the ruler of the demon realm is a known widower and thus available, but he has options. Many, many options. Hell, Shen Qingqiu is certain some sects have offered some of their own to get an advantage.

Shen Qingqiu freezes when something cool and… scaly? slides up his ankle.

He looks down. “What is that?”

Zhuzhi-Lang seems genuinely remorseful when he replies. “One of the many snakes that follow me around. This one is poisonous. Please don’t try to remove it.”

“Could you please get it off?”

“I can’t.”

“Allow me to doubt that.”

Zhuzhi-Lang does not address this. “If Peak Lord Shen follows me back to the realm, it should get bored and leave without issue. If he doesn’t, it will get lonely. Friends will surely join it.”

For fuck’s sake why is this his life. “If Tianlang-Jun wanted to see me so badly, why send someone to… invite me in this way? I still don’t understand why a formal request wasn’t made. My disappearance will cause issues between our realms.”

“I’m sure Junshang will explain everything.”

That does not fill Shen Qingqiu with confidence, but nothing about this exchange does, especially not what he believes to be a second snake settling around his other ankle. He has no trust in his ability to resist poison just because he’s a cultivator, because he is a cultivator in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

“Let’s say I do not want to follow you. What then?”

Zhuzhi-Lang looks even more remorseful. “I can’t disappoint Junshang.”

Shen Qingqiu supposes that’s answer enough. “I will be sure to explain your role in this situation when the sect demands reparations.”

Zhuzhi-Lang shrugs. “Junshang will smooth things over.”

Of course he will.

Maybe he should let the snakes bite him. It would be less painful for everyone than whatever Yue Qingyuan will decide to do when he learns that Shen Qingqiu was kidnapped from his own home.

___________________

Zhuzhi-Lang probably did not lie regarding his identity. If Shen Qingqiu gets more than a few second glances while they wander the palace, no one dares ask questions of Zhuzhi-Lang.

Maybe the snake curled around his neck also makes his situation clear enough that they figure he’s not a threat. It’s a shame, really, because if his life did not hang on not pissing off the seven snakes he’s now carrying, he might try to pet them. Some of them look friendly.

Not friendly enough to calm his rising anxiety at returning so close to the scene of the crime. Treading familiar grounds is a clear reminder that this isn’t just about surviving kidnapping via misguided snake handlers; it’s a return to one of the worst moments of his life, and to the side of at least one of the most dangerous individuals he has had the displeasure of meeting.

Their journey ends in what looks like a study. A very fancy study, with shelves of books Shen Qingqiu really wants to take a second look at, except there is an individual sat at the desk and that stops him from wandering around.

Tianlang-Jun looks politely surprised. “Peak Lord Shen. What an unexpected pleasure.”

Shen Qingqiu steels himself. He had guessed that this was an independent action from Zhuzhi-Lang, because he got the idea that the young man might be a bit strong-headed. “The feeling is reciprocated. You have a very… insistent nephew. Who might wish to take his snakes back now that he has me where he wanted me.”

He’s sure even Tianlang-Jun could feel his complete lack of bafflement when snakes start sliding out of his clothes to instead curl all over Zhuzhi-Lang.

Shen Qingqiu grits his teeth when Tianlang-Jun’s response is only amusement. “You’ll have to forgive him. My dear nephew is very loyal. He does whatever he thinks best for me at all times, no matter the consequences.” He turns toward Zhuzhi-Lang, gracing him with a fond smile almost out of place on him. Not enough manipulative charm. “As always, I appreciate the lengths you go through for my sake, though I sometimes do wish you’d think things through before you act. Let’s talk more about this later? I apparently have a guest to entertain.”

Yeah, no. “Please don’t bother yourself on my account. I want nothing more than to return to Cang Qiong. Let me go, and I’ll be gone before you know it. This way, no one has to learn about this incident, and negotiations can continue as planned. Surely you agree this is the best plan?”

The door closes behind him to announce Zhuzhi-Lang’s departure. “Nonsense. Why would I waste my nephew’s kind attention in this way? You’re here. This,” as he gestures to whatever paperwork he was working on, “is unimportant. I can certainly afford to welcome a guest from Cang Qiong Sect properly.”

Shen Qingqiu has no desire to be around him, or his son and his control over Shen Qingqiu’s body by way of a terrible plot device. “I still don’t understand why you would bother with me. I might be a peak lord, but I’m not anyone particularly important to the current talks. Why would your nephew take the time to… accompany me here?”

“My nephew does not concern himself with the talks. He trusts I will lead them to fruition, as I will. He is, however, very concerned with my wellbeing, and does like to go out of his way to please me. I might have mentioned you a few times, and it was all it took.”

In what terms, pray tell? Is Zhuzhi-Lang even old enough to learn of the details of their acquaintance? Probably, since Luo Binghe certainly is, but he does feel younger than his cousin. “Please don’t mention me anymore then. Many would enjoy the attention; how about you turn yours toward them?” Seriously, beside radiating evil-mastermind energy, the man has it all: the looks, the wealth, the power. Shen Qingqiu still has no idea why he’s bothering with him.

This also means Shen Qingqiu can’t afford to anger him, because he would not survive it.

“Your insistence on evading me is starting to be hurtful. I do believe I did right by you in your time of need. You certainly showed all signs of enjoyment, and I do mean all of them. Why are you so reluctant to be in my presence?”

And he tried so hard to keep his composure, but it is now a lost cause. He knows he’s blushing, but he can’t help it. “I can’t believe you don’t understand why the situation is embarrassing to me, or why I would prefer to keep it quiet.”

“I don’t, actually. You were not the target of the event. Everyone from your delegation was also affected. If anything, considering you felt the symptoms quickly enough to leave the feast, you were probably more sensitive to whatever was used than most; all your actions can easily be forgiven in such circumstances. Not that I would spread tales of your deeds. I would much prefer to keep them to myself.”

Shen Qingqiu does not choke on dark laughter, but it’s a close one. Keeping it to himself was doomed from the start considering Luo Binghe’s role in all this. Now, many at Cang Qiong are also aware. Secrecy is impossible.

Not that he wants to share that fact. His cheeks are already red enough without revealing that their… indiscretion is somewhat public knowledge.

Shen Qingqiu pulls the fan he brought with him to fight the rising heat away, “You are not just another member of the demonic delegation, and neither is your son. I could be considered compromised. I just want to put this behind me and move on.”

Tianlang-Jun reaches for his cheek, and for some reason Shen Qingqiu lets him. It’s as if he’s rooted to the spot. “As I said, I don’t plan on making our relationship public, but I don’t see why that stops the two of us from getting better acquainted. I remembered you reveling in every minute. I’m sure it would be just as delightful the second time around, especially since there would be no interloper coming between us.”

Shen Qingqiu is outraged he even dared voice that option out loud, but for some reason his tongue is like lead in his mouth. Punching the man might be possible, but it seems like that would take so much effort, not to mention there are parts of him that don’t disagree as much as…

The. Complete. And. Utter. Asshole.

The shock of the discovery allows him to step on Tianlang-Jun’s foot as hard as he can manage. “You! The blood! That was you!” Because he is certain that is what is happening to him right now. This insufferable viper has been playing him for so long and still dares to try and seduce him like this! Unbelievable!

“Ah, so you knew.”

“How could I not! You weren’t exactly subtle about it! It’s not like I could sleep through it! I thought it was Luo Binghe because of that reputation of his, but it was you all along! Seriously, if you’re that against the talks, end them and let’s go back to war. Why waste your time on playing me like this!”

“Oh dear, you’re misunderstanding me. This has nothing to do with the negotiations. I was honest when I said I have no intention of making this public, and I knew that neither would you. If I wanted the negotiations over with, I would just murder one of your envoys and that would be that. No, no, I do like the company of humans. I am doing what needs to be done to facilitate that. I just also enjoyed your own, personal, company, and, as much as you might wish to deny it, the feeling was very much reciprocated. I was trying to get you to accept yourself. Despite our short acquaintance, I could already tell there is much I could teach you about yourself. I could also tell you would not be open to discussing the matter, so I forced it. My darling nephew pushed the deadline forward a bit, but maybe it could be to your advantage. If you were to let me in, I would guarantee you you would not regret it.”

Shen Qingqiu cannot possibly be held responsible for murder in those circumstances. No judge would ever find him guilty.

Tianlang-Jun would kill him first, but Shen Qingqiu would inflict as much pain as he can before he goes. “That’s it. You’re apparently too dense to get it, so here it is: I have zero interest in a repeat performance. I do not want to spend any time, in any form, with you or your son. Your whole realm, not to mention a significant part of the human realm, I’m sure, wants nothing more than to sit on your dick. Go spend time with them and leave. me. the. fuck. alone.”

Shen Qingqiu’s heart sinks into his stomach when Tianlang-Jun only looks thrilled. “Darling, I do love a challenge.”

It takes all the winds off his sails. “Just kill me now and be done with it.” How is this his fate? Why is this happening? How long before Luo Binghe shows up, because Zhuzhi-Lang did not have him walk through secret corridors. He was seen, Luo Binghe will know about it, and he’ll come here. Because this is Shen Qingqiu’s life now.

“It would be so easy to remind you how pleasurable life can be. All you need to do is say yes.”

“Why bother with my consent? Your blood flows into my veins. You already demonstrated a willingness to use it for your own amusement against my will.”

The moue Tianlang-Jun graces him with is incitation to murder. “That would be no fun.”

Shen Qingqiu can’t with this man. At all. “Please send me back to my home. Please. You’re not going to get what you want from me, not if I have any say about it.”

Tianlang-Jun lets out a long, drawn-out sigh. “Your life could be so much more interesting if you gave it a chance, but fine. I will let you sleep on it for a while.”

Shen Qingqiu perks up. “Actual, uninterrupted sleep?” It’s been so long.

“I thought cultivators did not need sleep?”

“Lies. I need it. Lots of it.”

“My bad then. I will be more careful next time.”

“No next time.”

Tianlang-Jun’s answering smile is blinding in his lack of assertion.

Maybe Shen Qingqiu will ask Liu Qingge to marry him. Two birds, one stone. He’ll get it.

“I know you have people who can open portals. Send me home already.”

“Your wish is my command.”

“I’ve never heard a more obvious lie.”

#Scum Villain #The Scum Villain Self Serving System #Tianlang-Jun/Shen Yuan

1 note · View note

hanzi83 · 1 year

Text

Jerry Springer Like Society

It is one of these being written late at night/early in the morning because there are always topics that fuel me and I get to carried away having these thoughts and envisioned conversations in my head about how to explain my fucking point and then when all of these ideas and potential rants I want to go on, I become unfulfilled with not being able to jot all these thoughts down and by the time I want to write shit down, I might not feel as fueled, so I know before I go into this diatribe, it will be another case of scattered brain shit plus I have to put disclaimers that not everything I write or say is an official fact, I will admit I take patterns that I see over and over and then try to analyze that shit even if my style is not for everyone but the inspiration for this blog is the legacy of Jerry Springer and I remember I was never fully into it, because it felt like even more of a parody then the show that parodied it, you know that show Night Stand with the cohost Dick Deidrick, but I would watch here and there, I used to actually dig it when they had some genuine shit on there but even as a wrestling fan back then, which is funny me saying this, but this was way too over the top and transparent for my taste. So I was reminded of different clips, any fandom you are part of online, Jerry Springer was involved in some way with all of them, so it is like twitter does a best of the show or celebrity and post it online as we sit there as sitcom characters reminiscing as the clip concludes but then you have some people calling out Springer for what he helped normalize, because for some reason some people think normalizing and catering to the racism, misogyny, homophobia is completely okay and you shouldn’t get in trouble for tasteless shit because it is just entertainment, and I used to have that mind frame, and I don’t just align with any establishment liberal who will make that point while doing their own shit that is dirty because everyone in the system has some baggage that will be used against them. Anyways, I am seeing all these clips of him and forgot how over the top and really edgy it was, or at least perceived edginess because it doesn’t seem like the establishment’s type of entertainment despite being the establishment itself, but we are not supposed to point that shit out. So the reason why I wanted to attempt to write something competent about this, I don’t think it is going too well because anytime I attempt to sound like I am smart, it always backfires. I don’t think I am smart in the traditional sense and that is fine but we as a society give ourselves a pat on the back for not being like the entertainment was in the late 90’s and early 2000’s because we clean up the actual television and movies and normally when the establishment might embrace diversity or inclusion, moreso diversity more so than inclusion, it is normally meant for the other system shills online to manipulate the narratives to gain favor for the elite and trying to make people more regressive. But to me, my personal opinion is that the entertainment we have consumed over the last 30 years have manifested into our reality where we are the reality show, the entire show is sports entertainment. It has elements of Howard Stern Show, Jerry Springer and WWE. Now this is where it gets tricky because there are countless examples and angles I can connect with this, I don’t compile information of what is put out there because it becomes too much for my brain to retain, I normally learn about shit and think when I need the information, magically I can think of it and suddenly the mental state unloads a bunch of information, they extract it. I will fully admit I am not the smartest person on this planet, and it has become clear when you look at the decisions I have made for the majority of my life. But the thing is when I proclaim I am someone who has been dumbed down and didn’t know how to think, most people would feel embarrassed and are afraid to feel vulnerable because as soon as you show any weakness, the never ending vultures who scout shit, will pile on and drive you crazier. But the reason why I can state this and not give a shit as much about how people, at this point, will perceive me is because I can admit that I have been easily manipulated like a lot of people, because if I was born into this world and didn’t want to seem less than smart, I would go with what society or the media told me, because these people are experts, but if you asked me “Can you explain why earth is round” I could regurgitate the scientist shit that I have heard repeated and even if that is true, I am only siding with it because that is the fact, which is why if someone else comes along and uses shoddy science or some alternate shit, people will then gravitate, people who gravitate from ideology to ideology, are people who are in the same boat as me and don’t know how to express it because it is easier to seem like you are with the smartest people but still not knowing. If I had to force a pop culture reference, and since I am not up to date with the latest pop culture shit, but a lot of us feel like Joey from Friends when his smarter friends are talking about history etc, so we have to buy an encyclopedia so we can seem smart. And there are genuine people who do want to educate people but a lot of them from what I see, don’t have patience for people being stupid but it is like why would you want to be a thought leader and an educator if you can’t deal with people asking you a lot of questions, and sometimes I think these purity test mother fuckers out there enjoy having the knowledge and you savor it but then if someone says stupid shit then you want to just shit on them. I am talking about funded accounts, actual genuine people who legit don’t know any better and I can empathize with that, but a lot of the propped up figures on social media and online are more my issue because those people are definitely paid to act fucking dumb while not wanting to be bothered since they have to pose an expert but you don’t want your kayfabe broken. This is how I view this entire discourse world we live in. And sometimes I feel like smart people who boast about it nonstop, don’t even know how to explain shit to a dumbed down person, being smart should make you realize you might need to dumb it down to get the message to the masses. But then again what do I know, I am not exactly smart so I should just expect you to know all the answers.

So when I think about shit like the Jerry Springer show, and people thinking we are in a better society today than yesteryear, it becomes laughable, but if you don’t focus on specific individuals and you actually look at all in a grand view, you can’t see how our world is like the Jerry Springer show, Howard Stern Show, or Sports entertainment. Jerry Springer would have the most random and low brow storylines, and that literally gets propped up and we established the villains, and we let the villain run amok until Jerry has to reveal we got an opinion from that person’s family member or friend and now we have that with a lot of the villains, like we have Elon Musk and Tim Pool playing villains then we then bring out someone from their life to expose them for being hypocrites and they don’t care, Steven Crowder working an angle where him treating his wife like shit, and having that long list on his resume of what he has done that makes him a hypocrite. I know we are supposed to call the villains out but you are willing to lie to your base and act like this is not what Crowder wanted exposed, what exactly is gonna happen to the fucking guy? Nothing. He might leave the publication he is part of but he will rebrand. But how do we in society not see that we are manifesting shit and making our world a fucking entertainment reality show. People online want to be the studio audience and hopefully they will have Jerry come to their side in the audience to ask a question or make an edge lord comment, people are constantly boasting about how progressive shit is but it feels like we are regressing and we don’t realize it. We constantly have people say dumb shit for the studio audience online to laugh at how stupid this person is, and we then make them the star, we take the concept of the marketing behind William Hung and amplified that shit on some energy drink that some MMA person is promoting mixed with the cocaine stash from most of these billionaire mixed with some super serum and we have repeated it, and everyone wants to do viral shit even if they are taking L’s, because it creates nonstop profited off discourse. It will keep going over and over. The guest on the talk show who doesn’t have anything positive to say other than screaming shit out would represent what MTG is kind of doing in these hearings and it will get worse, and one day soon there will be violence in these sports entertainment places the same way you see on that Jerry Springer show, there will be another mentally ill and disabled people going viral so we can make them modern day wack packers. And we really have to be on this high horse about being better than the previous generations. I have never seen an era be so forced to cater to people who consumed edgy entertainment and didn’t get to live out their fantasies so now they are in west world where they are living out their fantasy of what they want to become. It just puts it in perspective how much this world is literally manifested entertainment. We have used that power plus there could be prominent funding for shit like this. And the people who introduce these people to the public sphere have to cut all ties so they don’t have to admit they cosigned the entertainment, like how Vlad TV will shit on Charleston White, why do people who end up getting platformed by him ending up having this negative trajectory. We don’t want to realize our entertainment has been funded by government agencies. I feel when we take situations about the sports entertainer and their resume as the defining issue of the systemic problem, it feels like it gets more coverage than actual people who are not as known, or don’t have that clout, so we tell ourselves we are holding these people accountable but then it always goes to the entertainment portion because we need nonstop comedy because this world hasn’t had enough of that, you can’t even be funny in the most realistic and genuine way now, you have to cater to different sides, the right wing will only think whatever they agree with will be funny and same with certain sections of the left, they are willing to throw their guard whenever a celeb is showing liberal leaning bias but we don’t think that is possible for the normalized right wing behavior.

That is why when someone like Lance Storm, who chimes into the wrestling takes to downplay racism in WWE and use the justification of bad tasting television is not illegal, but wouldn’t there be some case if there was consequences for someone who pushed back against these racist stereotypes, I am not specifying Lance as a main example, but his was the most recent tweet from him to defend WWE from tasteless television, like people like him want credit for acting like they denounce that kind of thing but then don’t see how racist stereotypes were implemented into the systemic programming, kind of like a systemic initiation, of having to get hazed, but now the talents themselves might not do it. That’s why these companies probably hire social media personalities to do the mental hazing by constantly creating chaos and bullying other cogs and pretend that cog is the real villain because they are famous, while these other shit head cogs are being funded by the billionaires, that is what my trolls used to do it me, they think they could prod a mentally unstable person being fucked with, and because I know there is more behind just basic trolling and it is designed to drive me insane by mocking me and bringing up how the show treats me, they want an extreme reaction and I would give it to them and they act like they are the victims because they are the “customer” so they are always right, but when they are given incentive to do that shit. So how can I not think this tasteless entertainment that has spiraled into the personal lives of these people is not rooted in government propaganda or fundamentalist mafia level shit, that is why they limit the offense for WWE, because we will all just laugh at the racist ideas, some will love them and some will mock the idea of how shitty these are, but I guess the wrestling community can only recognize government propaganda when it comes from Saudi Arabia, that is a a western speciality, that shit can only be problematic and agenda filled if it comes from a foreign entity or maybe something to with a liberal agenda. Then for some reason you throw hip hop under the bus before any other entertainment as the most destructive entertainment out there. If we actually explained the possibilities of what kind of shit these institutions organize and partake in, the conversation would be a little bit different, you notice how the conversation around this racist fiasco with WWE isn’t to have characters to counter this shit and actually have more substance, actually allowing performers in kayfabe to acknowledge this industry has ties to racism, misogyny, homophobia, and some of the homophobia implemented is from other closeted self hating human beings who would rather use his power to generalize and alienate a community because they don’t want to look inward that they are that way. Like if you are closeted, nothing wrong with it because maybe you don’t want to deal with scrutiny but when it comes from people who are powerful and have a Tony Soprano complex, and you are not dealing with your issues and you use it to punish people, then yeah some shit needs to be fucking analyzed. We still live in a very misogynistic world within wrestling, where the effort is put toward purposely sabotaging women in particular, because the discourse is now the storyline if more sports entertainment accounts who are posing as experts to tell you why women don’t deserve more time or more character development. WWE/AEW shills will shit on someone like Trinity for going to Impact, maybe someone wants to have some good creative before they sign to a big company again, plus acting like Impact and other smaller companies are not feeder systems to the bigger companies is hilarious, so they know she will eventually go there but the shills have to even sabotage that shit because they are hateful she isn’t going there fast enough, why should any woman want to go if these are the kind of shills the system has hired, like these people play with other people’s careers and the only women they do back, are ones they have personal relationships with or maybe they stop by at their group chat so the deviants can act horny on main for them. Especially when that is how some people who are shills market the women solely because they don’t have any ideas on how to create compelling women characters. Impact isn’t always the best booked show, but they have more character development for people there than what AEW does, because instead of using this time where talent is not all there as far as big male names, they wouldn’t dare take a chance to get more women storylines and character development on the show. Even with this Collision and Dynamite storyline, this is not gonna be something to make talent better, it will be fueled by the sports entertainers online to relive Smackdown vs Raw and basically declare Dynamite with Elite/BCC the Triple H brand and Collision with CM Punk, the Smackdown 6 brand. The effort is put into rebooting that shit instead of coming up with better ways to use the women properly. Like what are AEW shills gonna write for Trinity that will be compelling more so than what Impact does for her? She has a big ass? More worked shoot shit with Britt Baker? The effort goes into creating more problems than actually coming up with solutions. Attitude era brain has ruined a lot of people, because now instead of saying that on a grand view, there are big plans, we have to make it seem the filler is filled with down time so we create more discourse, like why would you want all these wrestlers to do attitude era shit where they all interact and you blow through matches, like I am glad someone like Joe is not interacted with Bryan or Punk etc, because those moments shouldn’t just be throwaways. We are putting more effort into watering shit down like the attitude era than we are for solutions for booking errors that don’t need to actually exist, they have been made to exist. Like wanting a new TBS champion because maybe the current one has not been booked the best and maybe the whole undefeated streak and being the only champion will put hindrance on her career growth if the character doesn’t deal with struggle and becoming more aggressive and meaner since the streak will be done. So when people don’t have any other booking ideas other than just keep her undefeated, I really don’t think those kinds of people actually care for the actual division and how to grow it but they just want their favorite to have super Cena booking. You have to remember other employed accounts online will only back you up and cosign your matches etc if they get a piece of the action. It is like a fantasy league and when you have more people doing that, then how can any of these products grow, that shit has seeped into politics and other forms of entertainment. We are that exploitative with it. I know I am all over the place, but basically this is examples of how we want to keep patting ourselves on the back for thinking we are acting progressive but people with power have control to still disguise regression so it is constantly existing in the public sphere. I hate the notion of the dangerous shit that has been done in these industries, after shaming us after the Benoit shit where people were not used to the watered down nature etc, but then they start doing unsafe shit over the last decade and then the wrestlers ensure us they know better and they can handle it, people were alarmed by that Cody headshot back in 2019 and people were concerned, they tried to say it was gimmicked, and more of this shit became normal with unsafe shit, and people seem fine with it in the industry so now you trained the audience to embrace it, and now industry dipshits and ones affiliated are gonna blame the fans solely when none of you can blame the billionaire masters who run this shit, did the fucking fans decide to turn Darby vs Jeff Hardy into a hardcore match, when it could’ve been fine as a normal match and it did have stakes to it in that it was for the Owen Hart cup? I didn’t realize the bloodthirsty fans were the ones who had the power to book that match, was it the bloodthirsty fans who didn’t know how to set fucking table properly for a spot that fucked up Ana Jay’s neck? No, it was the people running it. Yeah you can get mad at shit head fans who are bloodthirsty much like how society was when shows like Jerry Springer were around, but the system encourages that kind of shit.

I know people think I am trying to come off as a savior or some shit. I am not a fucking savior but it doesn’t mean I have to go about life doing the cookie cutter shit that everyone ends up doing once they get their gigs and access. It feels like society with our favorite entertainment was fueled by that but now are expanding on that shit, which is why this Jerry Springer shit made really think, and now I can’t stop because I am writing fucking blogs that probably don’t make any sense. The ironic thing is people think I will be running my mouth and I think I will never suffer any consequences for things I put out there, even with the disclaimers, but this is how one dimensional everyone’s view is to think punishment should only come in physical form, but the reason I have been able to reflect and go off on the things I have gone off on, is because I was punished and made to look like a complete failure. I am not declining that I am not to blame on some level, I will take some of the accountability but the system by nature destroys people, and they never have to take any accountability, they embrace people who will give up their leverage and put it all on them because the system is not expected to take any responsibility despite encouraging and organizing shoddy behavior. I have been punished, you know how sick in the head some of these powerful people have to be to hate me so much for not selling my soul at the right time, because I had a fucking conscience, where now they get int people in my life’s ear and make me rely upon them so I am treated as a child living his parents basement, not allowed to find work in the entertainment industry at all, people you know making backdoor deals, me being brought out with no social leverage where I had to take past friends shit of having a better life, being in better positions of vacations, weddings, hanging out with celebs etc all to be rubbed in my face and putting me through purity tests and then these people can pretend they never did anything mean because they helped me out or invited me to limited gatherings. You don’t think that was an incentive given from higher up in the world. Different people with platforms who are connected would also use me for their shows and treat me like a guineapig, I know because Bully Ray basically runs that show now, but me being a high profiled caller on Stern Show helped Busted Open get on the fucking map, and even with good radio, they started doing their Howard Stern shit, and the funny thing is Bully Ray would shit on me at the behest of Stern, and Stern wouldn’t even admit he knows the guy and he would generalize your profession, and no one in that world would ever say shit to him about it. I have had other trolls and other alt media platforms try to recreate Howard Stern level shit and they thought I would embrace it because someone who was famous can’t handle not being relevant, and yes I have not been able to handle it well since fame became a fucking drug, but now I am at the point where I don’t give a shit if I make it ever. I could die a pathetic person, but you mother fuckers will never heal properly being in that fucking world. You know how horrible this entire world would have to be if my solution and desire is to opt for assisted suicide, because if the world has a bright future instead of a really fucked up fundamentalist dystopian nightmare, maybe I wouldn’t want to be dead. That is how horrible the world is getting. But don’t say I don’t suffer consequences, I have taken mental abuse after mental abuse for so fucking long and guess what, at the end of it all, these trauma and this suppression and my ultimate demise doesn’t count on the purity test for me to be seen as someone who should get vindication. Maybe if I decided to go more right wing, some of the people could boost up my trauma and get me vindication but then I would have to support regressive shit but I am so desperate to get some empathy for my trauma, one would think I would do that, which is why people who have been fucked with from a powerful person, they had to cosign with some of the right wing and some of the post left people, because if that person still didn’t like what the right wing was doing and didn’t want to blindly defend Putin, none of those would give a shit. So people who don’t think I suffer any consequences, you can eat shit because sooner or later when the system screws you over and they will, I hope no one believes you the same way no one believes me and let’s see if that is not really suffering like it isn’t suffering when it comes to what I have been through. People in my position normally are so tortured mentally they don’t know how to articulate it properly. They are afraid of how it might sound, but when you are immune to people thinking you are crazy, you feel a bit more comfortable. I didn’t decide to be a discredited conspiracy theorist, you bestowed that upon me so I would not be taken seriously but you don’t like how I can weaponize it back? So punishing me in this regard where I am a red flag person that can’t be interacted with to keep me isolated locally but also now not having a “fan base” so I am alone and miserable with my own thoughts, is not considered punishment enough for people, because the “smart” shills of the system will still dumb down the game and not talk about how advanced it all is. So all my issues have to be seen as an only me issue that no one helped orchestrate, I have taken blame for shit I haven’t done, if you followed my fucking journey over the last 15 years you know what mind space I have been in for periods in my life and you have seen me come out smarter each time from it. Trust me there is someone out there dedicated to monitoring your every movie and having it on record so they can use it against you later, which is why some of these shills have become agents that are being forced into being a hypocritical mess.

At the risk of sounding even more stupid. I want to give my thought process so you can get the perception of the dumbed down guy so maybe some of you in smart positions can educate mentally ill conspiracy theorists like me, since you all want to be thought leaders and pretend you are smarter than everyone. Is this Green New Deal shit good or bad? Now if you know all the answers already, you are gonna shake your head and maybe copy and paste this to someone to make fun of in a text message or something. When it comes to the environment, I recognize it is one of the most important issues on the planet but it is one of the most boring topics on the fucking planet. Back when I was a cookie cutter conspiracy theorists, people would limit narratives and conspiracy framing, like “If MSM says Climate Change is real and dangerous, then we have to say that it doesn’t exist or it is not happening” like there isn’t more nuanced thought that go to expand upon it. Like I explained before because I don’t understand science and only believe what the scientists say and I will just repeat their talking points, if someone comes to me with other alternate facts, I am going to start leaning over there because that person might have credibility to me now since he questioned 9/11 which apparently you are not allowed to do, but for some reason you can still piece together that Saudi Arabia had something to do with it, but wouldn’t US still having relations with them and presidents cozying up them wouldn’t that still be just as much a justification to think it is an inside job, but okay whatever but I am noticing now that we all agreed that the green new deal would be a good solution, I don’t know how since I am dumb as shit but I am listening to people on the left tell me how good it is, so now that I know TYT is slowly moving more to the right and you have Ana Kasparian pushing back against it because of some examples of how regular people can’t afford those kinds of vehicles or stoves etc, now as a dumbed down person who consumed their media, I would be like “Okay I guess I have to kind of be suspect of the green new deal now beause a fair ‘leftist’ in Ana Kasparian is pushing back at it” now if I knew about this shit, maybe I could get my own answers but am I to believe she is lying and buying into sensationalized right wing talking points or was elements of the green new deal suspect, and it was designed to get pushback, but it was also a way for people like TYT to contine to find a way to pivot more to the right wing. See I am asking as a dumbed down person, this is how I process the information and guess what, there are lot of other dumbed down people who probably feel like I feel, but they are hanging out with different political minds who are repeating talking points, and those points could be true, but they wouldn’t exactly know themselves. See this is why we live in an era where people know the world is imploding and they all want to partake in the conversation and they think because one show is credible, that everything they say has to be credible so you will agree with them despite taking in propaganda. This is how my whole life has been and the reason I bought into various amounts of propaganda. This is why I don’t want to be here because I know I will be susceptible to that shit because propaganda will keep sophisticating itself and come in all shapes and forms in the future. Like I am not saying you shouldn’t call out democrats for the shit that is happening but when I feel people in powerful positions know where the world is going and they gimmick how they are “fair” then I know that they could be easing their way to come into the right wing because ultimately the right wing trajectory that exists in the system will get their official face for what represents them, which is someone like a DeSantis or Trump. But even that political shit is become its own Jerry Springer show, because if the world is supposed to implode and that is the intention of it, all of the shit being said on the surface is filler until we just get there so someone is gonna say some stupid shit that will get dunked on while the people dunking on establishment people are now collaborating with Christian fundamentalists because on the surface they said some anti war shit. The system by design is making it obvious of what they are doing, but people online and alternate media are acting like they are the only ones pointing out corruption and hypocrisy and that act used to have legit organic shit behind it maybe 10-15 years ago, but now it has become another personality trait that someone says so you don’t question their credibility. I can’t question Aaron Mate because Jimmy Dore wears a stupid hat and talks down to me about how he is an award winning journalist. Well guess what Owen Hart stole a slammy when he was supposed to present for best bowtie. Like 10-15 years ago, if you told me the US wants people too support Ukraine and get behind this war, but since then people have exposed how these wars in Iraq etc were illegal wars, and this was designed to be put out there as a narrative, because while we think they are running the same playbook and they are making it more obvious etc, but what if the playbook advanced, because people think that Putin has invaded US democracy and that is the only way that he can be evil in Us Imperialist eyes, but what if my conspiracy theory is that a bunch of neocons and neolibs, who present a pro wrestling country vs country aesthetic, are actually the ones influencing Putin, but the internet thinks they are awoken to this because we recognize the aesthetic of the Iraq war shit, personally I think the US is funding both sides, and the democrats don’t care about the inconsistencies when you bring up other people who are suffering from oppressive regimes, it is kind of like you want to us to not support this shit and end up supporting who the neocons support which is far right wing people in different countries. I am not saying it is true, but I am also allowed to critically think against some of the people in alt media who have shown they dumbed shit down and echo the sentiments of Tucker Carlson being the only anti war guy. Again I am a dumbed down guy who isn’t take seriously but how dare I question alt media, I must be a fucking MSM shill, even though I thnk their shit has been fucking whack for a long fucking time, but that whole value of the MSM now only relies on it for storylines like RJK getting censored for vaccine opinions, because other funded media and accounts on all social media platforms are not gonna talk about it at all, I won’t hear about this on Bill Maher’s show whatsoever right. People have really made it seem like they are all calling out shit when it is just faction warfare taking place.

Even with the AI conversation, if I am of the belief technology has always been advanced and science has been way more advanced, then what makes these accidents with technology more scary is that we have manifested entertainment so much that we are making the narrative of all the crazy shit that is about to happen because of AI when it is most likely that people controlled this to happen, AI could be stopped but they are promoting it now as a big scary thing when the last decade a bunch of the shit you saw or heard has probably been something to do with AI. I used to think it is impossible for artists to go out and do as much shit as they are doing and having the time for all these records, so what is stopping them from thinking the music of the last 10 years was AI as well? Would that be so farfetched? By the way until someone gets Drake to sing Eminem’s Kim, I won’t be sold on it, you gotta do a little better than fucking up Biggie’s original flow so he can flow like Nas on NY State of Mind. I am starting to think Eminem doing that 2pac album was him testing the grounds with AI and completely fucking it up because he was not as experienced. I even think Eminem’s revival is now an AI album, I bet that is where the discourse will go next, that we will find out some of the best albums was all AI done, so now it takes away from their legacy. Imagine if you found out to Pimp a Butterfly was all done by AI, the Drake fans are gonna have a field day and then the Kendrick fans will do a “THIS YOU?” to Drake because we will find out his entire career he has been doing AI music. Am I blowing your mind right now? I know this blog is all over the fucking place, but I did want to get some other thoughts, but I don’t know how to segue into a new topic after I just potentially destroyed potential fandoms spirits with the possibility of their favorites having AI being done for them. Now I am starting to think that Rap God shit by Eminem was also AI. But everything has become a scandal for online shit because we need the kayfabed shit of discovering shit that when it is being permitted to be known so it changes the narrative of shit. Like the information of DeSantis’ surgeon general gimmicking stats so to add to the anti vaccine narrative could’ve been put out there, the fact that isn’t as much being talked about than how the right wing would with Hunter Biden’s laptop, that is why I was never against regular people who were couldn’t get vaccinated and had their reasons etc, I was not gonna be an elitist but there are people who are online and television who are paid to be anti vaccine but we think the money and funding goes to the pro vaccine shit, the right wing has shit handed to them because all you have to do is show people in the system were being shady about something so that person who was exposing the truth gets to be trotted out on alt media about being silenced despite everyone talking about them. Like exposing how Fox News etc has dossiers on people, Howard Stern kind of exposed what high profile celebs do where they get people to build dossiers on people who would report on them to have their lives ruined, but now because it is Tucker Carlson, now it is a bigger deal, I know closet right wingers parading around as the opposite will get mad at me but it is like they are taking the CM Punk method with Tucker Carlson, at least in their booking. The only victim that matters from getting fucked over. I have seen this act with Howard Stern before, and now everyone eats off of that shit. The people who cheerlead Tucker act like he was Austin in 98 going against McMahon. Our entire lives now have turned into this circuit where there is more effort into introducing these characters knowing they are gonna exist in the discourse, and the only thing people on the left have socially is to laugh at the self owning when they are proven to bring a fucking hypocrite. Nothing is gonna happen to that SF fire commissioner who got attacked by a homeless dude but then we got twists and turns of the reveal he was spraying homeless people and was caught on camera, it is like a new way to expose someone but still doing it in a Jerry Springer like way, they are introducing you to these villains, there was a cop exposed of sexually abusing 200 children, I never see any of the “I AM CONCERNED FOR MY KIDS BECAUSE OF DRAG SHOWS” talk about that, because they only exist to be regressive and they can’t even cop to the fact they sold their soul, they have to act like they are keeping it real by falling for sensationalist shit, but to tie this back into the Jerry Springer shit, we literally created that in modern times while people act like they are condemning it. Kyle Rittenhouse is gonna be a fucking star and we think this is the only example of this happening to. We will boo him and hiss at him, but he is protected by the right wing so while we have pretended we have made the actual fiction we consume seem more progressive, it is like all the script writers and comedy writers are now booking this discourse, the real life WWE, Jerry Springer Show, the new Howard Stern show but with real life consequences of people losing their lives and all for the exploitation because we can’t admit as a society we have a entertainment problem. Sorry I know a lot of you want to recreate the Friends intro with your faction, so this might be hard for you to really take all of this in. Most people probably checked out, but sometimes I think when I used to write, I didn’t know what my identity was really because I was trying to be too much from what I was influenced by but the last few years I have found my identity and I can articulate a bit better than I could before, and I see the world the way I see it, not everyone has to agree with me but for some reason when they don’t agree with me, they get scared that other people might read this and agree. People have looked down upon me for so fucking long that even people from my past think they can undermine me even if they pretend to respect me, a lot of people have gotten worse over time and for some reason it is a big nope from people if I start analyzing everything and everyone in the only way I know how. My words leave scars apparently because if you hate me, you will hate me for not being able to write, or me being a conspiracy theorist, me being someone who is pointing out flaws in society, hate that I am trying to put my thought process out there etc, take your fucking pick, and when you hate me, you will then enact more shit to fuck with me in the future and the best part is you think no one will know, but since I know what a lot of you with power are capable of, you will still hate me because your mind is so poisoned you will opt revenge for making you think and reflect so you will use resources to make me feel more miserable or used advanced ways to fuck with me and don’t worry no one will believe me, so you guys can keep doing it because that is what people who are sociopathic in the system will do. But at least if I have to take that shit, I know my words at least got to you even if you want to admit it or not, you have to act high and mighty for your faction, they can’t see their leaders look weak, even though we are all weak to some degree, but I don’t have a faction to cater to, so I am allowed to be vulnerable and open about my thought process because I know what vulture like people act like when they sense weakness, it actually exposes you a lot more. And if this is all in my head and I am irrelevant, then maybe the forest that this blog resides in will be only meant for the trees and leaves to see and it is for no one else’s eyes. The very least, some powerful people might be impressed with this and they might talk about it, so other cogs in the system will be jealous of it, so they will start amplifying some creative output that will get direct results of getting boosted up. Did I give that away too? Another reason to hate me.

#Hanzi 2023 Bipolar Coaster BipolarCoaster Howard Stern Show wrestling WWE AEW Conspiracies Dumb down smart people random thoughts #Jerry Springer Show Society reality show exploitative mental illness theories

0 notes

lastchancevillagegreen · 1 year

Photo

Saturday, 8 April 2023:

Good Shave Baby Bird (no label, self released) (released in November 2022)

The UK is able to mail out of country once again (a ban was enforced in November just as this album was being released by Stephen Jones) which means this album finally lands in the US.

Stephen Jones, the abbreviated version, mind you, is the man once upon a time known as Baby Bird (not to be confused with the band Babybird which was also Jones only with a band), a master of lo-fi and the Bedroom Sound. From 1995 to 1997 he released self released five albums that were the pinnacle of lo-fi (discounting another master of lo-fi Guided By Voices who reigned prominent in the 90s for this record lover): I Was Born A Man, Bad Shave, Fatherhood, The Happiest Man In The World and Dying Happy. This was before the internet exploded and I bought at least two of these five lo-fi jewels through chat rooms for exorbitant prices. I paid $80 for Bad Shave to be shipped from Paris, France, wondering if I would actually see it arrive, after all Paypal didn’t exist and debit cards had not yet been birthed. I sent a money order (I was King of the Money Orders in the 1990s) off in hopes it would pay off and of course, it did. Before the internet, people didn’t rip you off and they followed through because a record collector was a record collector was a record collector (insert eye rolling whistling emoji here).

Today, the internet destroys lives and it enhances lives (see A Tale of Two Cities) and for Stephen Jones, he can actually almost make good money on the music he makes in his bedroom by going directly to those fans who love his music. No longer relying on kind hearted collectors in Paris, France I can dial up Stephen on bandcamp, tell him what I want, send him the money through the magic of the modern world and presto chango it arrives in my mailbox! What could be simpler? For fans it is a heaven that actually exists, for musicians like Stephen it is a never ending job. Not only must he write the music, record it, produce it and mix it (maybe) he must also design the damn digipaks, put them together, buy an endless supply of CD-Rs (and in some instances actual pressed silver CDs), have plenty of packing envelopes, go to the post office, mail this stuff (and spend a fortune on postage for the entire world, because he has a generous supply of fans worldwide). For the likes of Mr Jones this is a never ending job. Remember when you wanted to be a musician? It sounded so perfect: make records, sell records, drink too much, drug to much, have too much sex and live in Heaven. But the internet giveth and the internet taketh away. Today’s musician must endlessly bust his tired exhausted imagination especially if he is a self contained industry like Stephen Jones is.

And then he has fairweather fans such as myself who don’t buy everything he puts out. And trust me, this guy never stops. He’s like a never sleeping shark, he must be glued to his social media and laptop. He sends out 40 tweets/messages a day and he must put out an album a month. In 50 years when virtually everyone reading this tumblr is dead and gone, who will tend to Stephen’s discography page? How messed up and full of errors will it become?

Good Shave is a companion album to his 1995 Bad Shave album. The songs, according to our man, come from the same grab bag from which he chose to compile Bad Shave from: all demos, all lo-fi, all composed and performed and sung by himself. No one else is reissuing these albums so Stephen might as well make his house payment and his daughter’s tuition however he can. I do not begrudge the man one thin dime. I just can’t buy everything he does. (Today I counted 303 releases on his bandcamp page! 75 rows of four albums plus one row of three albums. The man is a machine.)

Above you see the cover and the back cover. Below, check out the gatefold taken in two shots. The first shot is the left hand side of the digipak as it would appear when it is opened up. The second photo is of the inlay tray on the right sans the CD which would normally sit in said inlay tray.

The next photo is of the CD itself. Keep in mind this is a CD-R which means in about a decade or less, if it is like my Dylan bootlegs that came out on CD-R, they will stop working and I’ll have nothing left but the memory of this music. Isn’t modern life full of miracles?

I am going to be on those people who foul up poor Stephen’s discog page because he included a bonus CD with Good Shave. It is obviously not his work since the title is Not Stephen. If I recall correctly, a fan made an album of covers and sent it to Stephen who liked it so much he included it as a bonus disc here. At least I think that’s how the story goes.

Below you will find photos of the original Bad Shave album from the cover to the gatefold to the back. Remember, this once lived in Paris, France, a place I can only dream of.

0 notes

runtomy · 1 year

Text

Things I Learned from Namjoon

I have always wanted to write about Namjoon, Jungkook, and Yoongi. I always wonder, when?

Should I write it when I no longer experience this passionate feeling toward Bangtan?

It will give absolute different result. Each month feels different anyway. Also,

Unfortunately, it’s not over yet (love is not over). Definitely no pun intended.

Still, I want to write it now. Otherwise, I might never do it. So it’s the matter of now or never.

My Jungkook phase has passed. Yoongi is fine. I switch between Jungkook, Yoongi, and Namjoon mostly. Usually it depends on who inspire me in the week. I am still inspired by all members and sometimes, it’s just that, these three stay longer than the rest.

Until one day, I learned that Namjoon is active on instagram more compared to the other two. What's more important? His contents totally interest me. I want to see the arts he has seen. I want to know the song he shared.

So I can add them to my playlist. How refreshing to be accompanied by new songs I've never heard before while doing my activities, and also to receive them every week? Marvelous.

I also learned that how much it affected me. I really consider him sharing his activities on instagram regularly is the reason I feel and think what I feel and think at the moment. The word is 'attached'.

Okay. There isn’t much changes since first time I become familiar with Namjoon regarding how I perceive him. Be it first, second, or third impression of him is still the same to me.

Before we start, I’d like to emphasize that this is subjective. Not that I downplay anyone's capability to comprehend this post. I just need to make sure everyone knows.

Things I learned from Namjoon:

Levelheaded. Through his overall on screen presence, we can tell how levelheaded he is. He can stay levelheaded while handling stressful situation, even if the camera is on. First of all, being levelheaded is not easy, and on screen? Increased difficulty. It's like a playing a game, but straight up hard mode. That’s what it seemed to me.

I’ve never seen him showing raw angry on screen. I think it’s admirable of him for being able to stay levelheaded most of the time. Surely it’s difficult. The fact that he’s still survived everything to this day? Magnificent. This is definitely his quality that I admire the most.

From the pressure in American Hustle Life, Run BTS episode 126-127, or when he lost his passport in Bon Voyage Season 1, HE EVEN LOST HIS PASSPORT ON SCREEN!!! TWICE!!!

Those are few difficult situations of him that I remember at the time I posted this. Sure there are many.

Anyway, he definitely lost his composure (almost) in that Run BTS episode 126-127, still I admire the way he handled it in an entertaining way. True performer right there.

To be honest, every member has the right to explode in that episode though. That’s such an emotionally and physically draining episode of Run BTS I’ve ever watched.

Right he never show raw angry, but being mean in passive-aggressive way? Sure he does, many times. There are enough compilation videos of him showing his passive-aggressive side with no mercy. video 1 video 2 video 3

While passive-aggressive has the same connotation as negative quality, sometimes he can make this trait seem harmless and actually the right decision.

I don’t condone passive-aggressive but in this life, tbh, sometimes we have to defend ourselves (said the person who will go straight up passive-aggressive all the time because life has no mercy for the peaceful-oriented human). Passive-aggressive can be justifiable sometimes.

Petty. He’s so damn petty and calculated. I think you might have encountered fanmade videos of him being petty. So far I have never seen his pettiness is directed for malicious intention. He just wanted to be fair.

The most recent act that show how much he emphasize fairness is when he posted all of the HYBE artists songs on his Instagram as a response after they did dance cover of “Run BTS”.

One moment.

Some of you might think that every quality I mentioned here seem more like negative traits. Traits are not black and white. Life does not only offer you multiple choice type of exam like in school. Sometimes you deal with questions that your teachers have never taught you before.

Jealousy. I can resonate to him the most about this matter. Tbh, I’m not aware of jealousy until Bangtan. I may have internalized jealousy. But I have never admitted this feeling before because I don’t think it actually exists or needs to be recognized.

And.. breaking news!

Even if you don’t want to admit you’re jealous, at least recognize that you’re jealous first. You will admit that you’re jealous next. Then you will learn what to do about it.

Tbh, I’m also new to this issue. I don’t know how to deal with it yet.

That’s why it’s still a mystery to me how he handle this heavy emotion commonly known as negative feeling. I wonder how he deal with jealousy. He has never talked about this matter directly. You will get a glimpse of his view regarding this in scattered way. His songs, mannerisms, or notes in his phone that he decided to share recently. I wish some journalists can address this question someday. I need his tips.

Recently he posted one of his old note from 2017. It says:

“True revenge is to be strong, to survive, to protect”

I don’t know how many times I have said this but it’s truly admirable that he has figured out the right way to process intrusive or recurring negative thoughts, and eventually give himself that wise note.

If there’s anything we can take from that note is he has went through something heavy and rather ugly to admit just like any other human being. He probably still has that negative feeling, just like any other human being as he’s a human himself.

However, he choose to take the positive motivation to lift him to a better place instead the negative motivation such as revenge for the sake of it, to destroy others that he may also be aware that such motivation can lead to destruct himself.

He’s probably still struggling with it but he also knows the right way to handle it, when such thoughts come again. Relentlessly try to not make his negative and destructive thoughts win. Just like his lyrics in “Life” that says:

“We tryna be bright, but always dark”

Sure anyone can fall into darkness over and over. The darkness can come back anytime, will also add my own view, and so does the light. So don’t lose hope that your life will get better and try not to choose the destructive route as well.

By not choosing the destructive route, it can lead you to a more relaxed life. I mean sometimes things around you can get chaotic, but if you can remain calm, it will give you benefit to be able making the right decision with clear mind.

Like sometimes I realize how vengeful I can be. But it’s important to remind myself, be mindful in order to make decision that is not fueled by momentary anger.

Focus. Actually I can go on and on about privileges that he has as a man for being able to focus on his career and give 100% (your jealousy is showing now). Still, this post is not about that.

Again and again, it’s admirable that he can give 100% if not more for his career. The way he care and lead his members, the way he build his networks with musicians and other people he’s interested in, the way he also make time and develop his interest in art, and probably still maintain close-knit and healthy relationship with his family as well.

Sometimes I admire him for being ambitious (positive trait) and greedy (negative trait) at the same time. Both traits seem like live side by side in him, and it’s possible. I wish I am both, ambitious and greedy at the same time to maximize my potential in this life. Part of me wish to live life to the fullest and no regret (damn! I just figured this one right now).

In the end of the day, it’s easier said than done.

#namjoon #kim namjoon #rm #namjoon journal #things I learned from namjoon

1 note · View note