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yandereshingeki · 2 years

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Milk, Honey, and Sugar

Yandere Eren x Reader

Milk, Honey, and Sugar Masterlist

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Word Count: 11.1k

Content: College AU, Yandere content, Obsessive and Possessive behavior, stockholm syndrome, NSFW content/Semi-Smut

Content Warnings: Yandere themes, possessiveness, obsession, nosebleed, light angst that doesn't even last that long, angry Eren :(, stockholm syndrome, dubcon-ish, smut (fingering, pussy/thigh job, praise)

Summary: Your first taste of freedom in almost a week turns sour, and now you’re stuck trying to pick up the broken pieces of trust and put them back together before Eren decides to keep you in the basement forever.

FINALLY GOT IT DONE! i’m so sorry for the wait (was busy working on another fic) but here it is!! I hope you enjoy it :,)

And also—quick reminder that reader is struggling with trauma and stockholm syndrome—Their thoughts and actions reflect that.

Chapter 6: Anger and Bargaining

during this chapter, please use this to help visualize the house

“I’ll let you go upstairs tomorrow for breakfast, okay?”

That was what he said to you yesterday. Two days after he had talked with you about going upstairs. He was finally letting you out.

For a while, you were afraid that you would be stuck there for a lot longer—possibly for months before even getting a chance to get out—but only 5 days? You had managed to gain his trust in only 5 days? It was a miracle.

If you were able to gain his trust so easily, you wondered how simple escaping would be. Just the thought of it was enough to make you as giddy as a child on Christmas day. Soon you wouldn’t have to worry about being alone, or about being trapped in this godforsaken basement anymore. You would be free

Obviously, you would have to be careful and calculated about it—but that didn’t make it any less exhilarating.

In fact, your excitement was showing with how you were sprawled out on your bed, legs kicking in the air while you daydreamed about your escape. You tried to plan it out, doing your best to recall the layout of Eren’s house, even though it'd been a while since you really paid attention to and memorized it. However, you did remember the long hallway that led to the front door, and the kitchen and living room on either side. Considering you’d be in the kitchen mostly, that’s all you needed to know. And if you could catch him distracted for just long enough—maybe you could make a run for it.

It couldn’t be that hard, could it? Even if the door was locked; if you were fast enough you could get out.

A knock at the top of the stairs interrupted your thoughts, alerting you that someone was about to come into the basement. You sat up and watched as the door flew open and Eren walked in, still wearing his pajamas and combing his hand through his tangled hair. He yawned as he made it to the bottom, stretching before shaking off his sleepiness and looking at you.

“Morning.” He smiled, feeling ecstatic at the sight of you happy to see him instead of the normally somber expression you gave.

“Morning.” You responded, throwing your legs over the side of the bed and getting up. He walked over and squeezed you against his chest, nuzzling his face into you without giving you a chance to protest.

After a minute of suffocating you against him, he leaned away from you to ask the question you’ve been waiting for, “You ready for breakfast? Upstairs?”

“Yes!” You were more than ready for it. You were ready for your chance at freedom.

You squealed as he moved his arms under your butt and lifted you, forcing you to wrap your legs around him to prevent yourself from falling. Most of your weight was against his shoulder, your arms around his head and partially blocking his vision.

After a minute of adjusting your placement in his arms, he managed to move you around into a position more comfortable for him and less obstructing of his vision.

“Remember what we talked about?” He asked, giving himself a minute to prepare for hauling you upstairs with him.

“Mhm.”

“Good. Let’s go then.”

He walked to the stairs, slowly taking the first step up and gripping the wooden railing attached to the wall. The trip upstairs was quick, Eren putting more of his focus into holding you than actually getting up the stairs. When you made it up, he closed the door behind him carefully, making sure not to slam the heavy wooden slab shut like he normally did before beginning his walk to the kitchen.

The hallway was the same pale yellow color you remembered it being, but you only got a five-second glimpse of it and the familiar living room before you were already at your destination, being placed in one of the seats at the dining table. When you opened your mouth to speak, Eren interrupted you with a kiss to your head, turning away and going to the fridge to pull out a bag of microwavable waffles.

“How many do you want?” He asked.

Already being distracted by your surroundings and beginning to mentally plan out your escape route, you replied, “Hm?”

“How many waffles do you want?” He repeated, walking over to you and waving the crinkly plastic bag in front of your face.

You only stared blankly and blinked for a moment before finally giving your answer, “Three. Sorry.”

He chuckled and gave your nose a soft pinch, just assuming that you were just excited to be out of the basement and busy taking in the familiar surroundings that you hadn’t seen in a while. When he turned his back to you again, you went back to analyzing all the possible routes you could take to get from the kitchen to the front door quickly.

So far, there were two ways you could leave the kitchen—through the right or the left. Where you sat now, you were closest to the right—but the front door was right outside the left exit. If you were to leave through the right, you might be able to sneak behind the wall that shielded you from Eren and make it to the door. But on the other hand, if Eren caught on early, he could cut you off through the left, making it easy for him to catch you.

If you were to leave through the left, you would have to go around the birch wood table, but you’d be able to go straight to the door after. If you stayed quiet enough, it could be the quickest way out—which brings you to another conflict you hadn’t thought about before.

Once you were out, what would you do? Eren would probably hear you leaving, and he wouldn’t just not chase you because you were out the door. If you ran, how long would you need to? Where would you run to? How long could you run before inevitably growing tired, giving Eren the chance to catch you again?

No matter what happened, you could barely stand the thought of being recaptured and returned to that horrible basement again—but you had to try. If you didn’t try, you would end up back there regardless—so it was at least worth a shot.

The loud beeping from the microwave pulled you out of your thoughts, your stomach growling at the sweet smell of the waffles. A few seconds later, Eren was handing you the plate with a fork, telling you to ‘enjoy’ while he made his own stack of waffles.

You abandoned any idea of escape for now and focused on scarfing down the delicious waffles, almost finishing all of them before Eren had his done. When he sat down with his waffles, he gawked at how quickly you had eaten everything, questioning if you were just extra hungry that morning.

After you’d cleared the plate, he took it from you and stacked his on top of it, telling you that you could just put the silverware in the sink and that he would be done soon. You nodded, complying and putting your dirty fork in the sink before sitting down again and feeling the regret of eating too fast set in. You didn’t feel sick per se, but you realized that eating so quickly now meant that you would be back in the basement sooner.

Eren noticed your unease—watching you shuffle around in your seat anxiously and stare at the spot in front of you—so he asked you, his mouth stuffed full with waffles, “What’s wrong, angel?”

“I don’t want to go back to the basement yet.” You pouted, crossing your arms on the table and resting your head atop them.

Eren frowned, putting a hand on yours and squeezing it. He knew how much you hated it down there, and he’d feel awful sending you back so quickly—so he came up with an excuse for you to stay, “You can wake Jiyuu up with me before you go—and maybe you could play with him a little too.”

A smile replaced your pout, you growing excited once more. Eren, content with your reaction, went back to eating while you watched him impatiently. You haven’t seen his bird in forever, let alone gotten to play with him. You missed his cute feathery friend and his silly antics.

The second Eren finished his food, you stood up and dashed into the living room, startling Eren who nearly knocked over his chair as he clambered after you. When he finally caught up, he let out a huge sigh of relief to see that you were standing in front of Jiyuu’s cage, excited to see his bird—not trying to escape.

“Jesus baby, you scared the shit out of me!” He exclaimed, walking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, his neck craning forward so his head could rest on your shoulder.

You giggled, placing your hands on his before being interrupted by a quiet squawk, the bird inside of the covered cage being woken by your commotion and now expecting you to let him out.

Eren sighed again, pulling his hands back to massage your sides before letting go, “You can uncover Jiyuu and take him out, I still have to put my plate in the sink. I’ll be back in a second to do his food and stuff.”

Nodding, you watched him walk back to the kitchen and then turned to the large bird cage, tugging off the thin red blanket that covered it. The amazon parrot inside greeted you with an excited “Hi!” before beginning to bob his head rapidly. It seemed like he was excited to see you too—which was only natural. Out of all of Eren’s friends, you were the one he liked the most after Eren—which made sense, considering how attached Eren was to you. It was obvious he’d take after his owner, especially after being raised by him from just an 8-week-old hatchling.

“Hi!” You copied him, unlocking and opening the door to his cage. He climbed right out, moving across the bars and to the top of the door, allowing him to stand eye level with you. He fluffed up for a moment before he shook his body, sending down feathers and bird dust flying everywhere and making you sneeze.

A small chuckle came from near the kitchen, prompting you to turn your head towards the noise. Eren had a smile on his face as he approached, walking over to the cage and holding his arm out in front of the bird almost immediately. The bird climbed onto him, side-stepping up to his shoulder and pushing his beak into the side of his forehead.

You smiled at them for a minute before turning around to the cage, reaching and pulling out the food and water dishes from inside. This wasn’t the first time you’d done Jiyuu’s morning routine—you had done it a couple of times before after sleeping over—so you knew well enough what needed to be done. A small trash can was placed near the cage, specifically for the cracked open shells or half-eaten bird seed that remained in the food dish. You dumped the contents into it, emptying his water dish into a nearby plant next.

Eren watched you carefully, scratching his bird’s crest and making sure you weren’t planning anything—his eyes following you around and burning holes into the back of your head. As much as he trusted you, he was still adamant about not taking many risks.

Trying not to pay any mind to it, you continued with your tasks—refilling his water with the dispenser near his cage (reserved mostly for Jiyuu because Eren loved to spoil him) and filling his food dish with the mix of pellets that were kept under his cage in a plastic tub. Once you finished, you put the small bowls back into his cage, slipping them carefully into their metal holders before moving away again.

“Done.” You spoke, turning to face Eren. He was too busy being distracted by Jiyuu to respond, scratching the bird's head, kissing and cooing at him. You couldn’t help but smile at the way he was with his pet, caring for him so well and treating him with nothing but love. It made you envy his bird sometimes; you wanted to be taken care of like that too.

Finally able to pull his head away without upsetting the parrot, he turned to you and quickly made up another excuse to keep you upstairs longer, “Wanna see some of his tricks?”

When he saw how excited you looked while nodding, he beamed and pointed to the floor next to the coffee table and motioned for you to sit, taking Jiyuu off of his shoulder and placing him down while he grabbed some treats. You sat, allowing Jiyuu to waddle over to you and almost climb onto your arm. The only thing that stopped him was Eren, who walked over and sat the bag of pine nuts down, scooping the bird up in his arms and holding him while he sat next to you.

“He lets you do that?” You asked, pointing to Jiyuu, who had his curled-up talons in the air.

“Yep. It took so long for him to trust me like this, but now he lets me treat him like he’s my little baby.” He cooed at the bird, rocking him back and forth like an infant, making you giggle. Jiyuu stared at him, looking confused at the noises he was making. He laughed a little at the bird’s surprisingly expressive face and placed him back on the table, letting him roll back onto his feet and make his way to the treat bag.

You moved closer to Eren, leaning on him a little like you always did when you were next to him—at least before you got kidnapped.

“Wanna try some of the ones you’ve seen him do before? I can show you some of his newer tricks after.” Eren asked while he stole the bag of pine nuts from Jiyuu’s hold and handed it to you, much to the parrot’s dismay.

You gave the bird a pat on the head, pulling open the zip-locked bag and taking a single pine nut out. Immediately, all of his attention was on you, and it was clear that he was eager for the treat.

“Roll over.” You said, prompting him to roll sideways onto his back, then onto his feet again. He stared you down after, yearning for the treat in your hand and waiting for you to give it to him for completing his trick.

“Good bird!” You handed him the nut, watching as he pried it open and chomped it down quickly, leaving the shells discarded at his feet. Pulling out another, you waited for him to finish before giving him another trick, “Spin!”

He spun in a circle, his talons loudly tapping against the glass of the coffee table as he did. After you praised him and gave him his reward, Eren took the bag from you, too excited to show you Jiyuu’s new tricks to wait any longer.

“Hey, I wasn’t done!” You pouted, reaching for the bag in his hands.

“I wanna show you what I taught him! Pretty please?” He begged, giving you the best puppy eyes he could and holding the treats out of your reach.

You let out an overly dramatic sigh, giving up and resting your chin on his shoulder, “Fine, I guess you can. But they better be some damn good tricks.”

He smiled and patted you on the head, placing the bag back in his lap and pulling out a pine nut, “Thank you, angel.”

Jiyuu stood in front of Eren now, bobbing his head up and down.

Eren smiled at the bird, holding up the treat, “Big wings!”

Jiyuu spread his wings, holding them out and puffing up his feathers to make himself look big.

“Good boy, Jiyuu!” Eren handed him the pine nut, scratching his head before reaching back into the bag.

He held the next nut in his palm under his ring and pinky fingers, his three remaining fingers spread out to imitate a gun, “This is one of his newest tricks. Watch.”

Jiyuu finished off the food and looked at Eren’s hand, perking up when he realized what he was about to do.

Eren pointed his fingers at Jiyuu, “Bang!”

The bird rolled onto his back, dramatically throwing his head onto the table and curling his talons to make it look like he was dead—despite his eyes being wide open and his breathing being visible.

You let out a gasp, crying out an elongated “nooo!” with fake sadness in your voice. When Eren praised him for completing the trick, he immediately rolled onto his feet again and rushed to devour his prize, happily chomping away as Eren scratched the crown of his head.

“Good boy, such a good boy,” he repeated, kissing his beak and sitting back to put his arm around you, “our birdie boy!”

You could feel your face heating up at that. Why was he suddenly treating the parrot like he was your son? Obviously, Jiyuu meant a lot to him—maybe even as much as a child could mean to a parent, but he wasn’t your child. You weren’t as bonded with him as Eren was.

“Our?”

Eren’s cheeks burned, “Ha, yeah. I mean, you’re going to be spending a lot more time with him now so—I thought that maybe it would be appropriate that he’s both of ours. Like our kid or something.”

“Ah. Ah… I guess that makes sense.” You tried to dismiss it, an uncomfortably anxious feeling piling up in the pit of your stomach. The thought of him thinking about things like children with you—even if it wasn’t serious, and just about a pet—left a bad taste in your mouth. That kind of thing meant being committed to him or his pet—and you couldn’t be that with either of them if you planned on escaping.

It almost made you feel bad for wanting to escape.

Without realizing it, your brows furrowed while you were deep in thought. Eren gave you a concerned look, shaking your shoulder and asking you if you were okay. It took you a moment before you were able to respond, too busy talking to yourself in your head to realize he was talking to you. When you did, you just nodded your head and threw yourself onto the floor, letting out a dramatic sigh and trying to avoid explaining yourself

Eren chuckled, choosing to believe that you just spaced out for a moment and nothing more. He set the bag of nuts aside and crawled over you, effectively pinning you to the floor, albeit more playfully rather than with any sort of ill or horny intent.

“Eren!” You put your hands against his chest, squealing as he laid on top of you and stopped holding himself up, leaving you crushed under him.

He laughed more as you slapped his back and squirmed, trying to get him off so you could breathe again. When he finally lifted himself, you took in a deep breath and hit his chest lightly, “Rude!”

The smile he had on his face after you said that put butterflies in your stomach. It was such a happy and gentle smile—one you weren’t used to seeing on Eren. But now, thinking about it—you’d seen it a lot more recently. Was it because of you?

Noticing your stare on him, Eren took it upon himself to lean in—hoping to make a move that you would accept. He pressed his lips to yours, wrapping an arm underneath your head to push you closer. You let out a tiny squeak, not realizing before what he was doing—but still let him kiss you, trying to relax as he held you there.

His lips were so soft. So soft and warm compared to the basement. His entire body was warm. You would prefer this over the basement any day.

After you wrapped your arms around him, he took a moment before deciding to test your limits, using his thumb to try and pry your mouth open so he could push his tongue in. Much to his disappointment, you smacked his face away from yours and pointed to the bird sitting on the table, staring at the both of you cluelessly, “Not in front of him!”

Eren let out an exaggerated sigh and got off of you, pulling you onto your knees beside him. “Fine, fine. I won’t,” he paused and looked at Jiyuu, “Cockblocker.”

Unable to understand, Jiyuu started bobbing his head and trying to stand tall, just happy to have Eren’s attention back on him. You couldn’t help but giggle at how clueless and silly he was at times.

“Aw, I can’t stay mad at you. Cutie.” He kissed his beak and held out his hand, letting the parrot step onto it. He lifted him up and onto his cage door, putting the seeds away afterward. You sat quietly now, your hands in your lap and your eyes glued to the floor. You really did not want to go back to the basement—but if only doing it once or twice more meant you’d get out, then you had to.

“Alright, it’s time for you to go back downstairs.” Eren walked back to you, offering a hand to help you get up. You looked up at him, pulling a last-ditch effort to stay for at least another minute by giving him the saddest puppy-dog eyes you could muster.

“Don’t give me that look, angel. I’ll let you come up for lunch in a couple hours.” He knelt, sliding his hands under your butt and lifting you into his arms, now carrying you with your legs around his waist.

“You will? Really?” You leaned back to get a good look at his face, his blissful smile still evident.

“Yep. I’ll take you up for every meal now. As long as you're good, that is.”

He gasped and almost dropped you as you started bouncing your legs excitedly, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face into him, “Thank you, thank you.”

With his grip on you tightened, making sure you wouldn’t fall—he kissed the side of your head and replied, “You’re welcome.”

You would be escaping much sooner than you had planned.

—————————

The few hours you had in between breakfast and lunch were spent getting ready, showering, and making sure you looked decent enough to go outside. Eren had given you one of his black t-shirts and some lounge shorts for the day, meaning you had the advantage of less clothing to hold you back compared to him—who usually wore baggy sweatpants and sweaters.

When you were finished, all you had left to do was wait for him to get you—and with how long it took for you to get ready, and according to the cheap wall clock in the basement—it would only be around an hour before he did. You decided to take the time to nap—like you normally did in between meals. You needed the rest for when you would escape, anyways.

Your nap felt like barely anything—when you fell asleep, you were shaken awake by Eren after what felt like 15 minutes, despite your clock telling you otherwise. When you opened your eyes, you could see that he was wearing a frilly pink apron—bought for him as a joke gift by Connie—along with a band t-shirt and sweats—and his hair was now tied back in a bun.

You groaned as he picked you up, leaning your head against his shoulder and burying your face into him. You were still half asleep, barely able to process him saying something along the lines of ‘it’s lunchtime, sleepyhead,’ and struggling to make out what was going on until the bright light of upstairs was flooding your vision. It woke you up rather quickly, the difference between the natural light from outside and artificial lights in the basement making your eyes hurt. It took a minute, but you got used to the brightness of upstairs and got placed in the same chair as before, Eren kissing your head and turning away, already prepared to serve you lunch.

“I made something special for today. Y'know, ‘cause it’s your first time being upstairs for lunch and stuff.” He turned towards you with two meatloaf-filled plates, walking to the table and placing them down in their respective spots. He grabbed the silverware next, already having it out on the kitchen counter, prepared for the meal.

After handing you one of the two sets, he sat across from you and got ready to dig in—but before his fork could even touch the food, you finally spoke up, “Are you gonna take the apron off?”

He froze for a second, processing what you said and looking down at the apron. Another moment passed and he looked back up, this time seeming more sure of himself, “Nah, I’m gonna wash dishes after we’re done anyways. I might as well keep it on until I’m done with that.”

You chuckled, picking up your fork and nodding at him. The two of you ate quietly after that, only looking up at each other occasionally while you did. There was no need to talk, and you were both too busy stuffing your mouths full of the delicious food to speak anyways.

Eren finished first, clearing his plate in minutes and leaving you to eat alone while he put his plate in the sink and put away the leftovers. With him distracted, you looked around the kitchen to remember your escape routes, quickly deciding on the one you would take when you got the chance. The left seemed like the safest option for now, so that’s the path you would take.

After you finished, you got up and put the plate in the sink with Eren’s, thanking him for the food and sitting back down, watching him carefully as he nodded and finished putting the leftovers away. He approached the sink, grabbing the sponge that sat on the edge of it and turning on the water—also turning his back to you. Now was your chance.

Slowly, you stood up, keeping your eyes on him and trying your hardest to keep the wooden chair from moving against the floor. Once up, you backed out of the room slowly, staying on your toes and praying you wouldn’t step on a creaky floorboard. You managed to make it to the hallway, leaving you standing on the runner carpet that helped to muffle your footsteps.

Taking in a deep breath and feeling the adrenaline and anxiety pulsing through you, you turned towards the front door and prepared to dash.

And then he turned his head.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked, but it was already too late. You made a run for it.

The next thing you heard was a plate shattering on the floor—probably from Eren dropping it—and then you were tackled. Not even halfway to the door, he had already caught up and thrown himself on top of you to prevent your escape.

You hit the ground face first, hitting your nose against the floor and making it bleed almost instantly. He had you pinned underneath him, holding you down by your shoulders and keeping you from moving while he lost his temper. Jiyuu squawked at the commotion, not used to seeing his handler get so violent. Eren yelled at you, asking you why you would do that to him and why you thought you could get away—but as quick as he was to anger, he was just as quick to calm when you turned your head and looked at him.

You were already crying, and the blood was already smeared over your mouth and cheek, dripping to the carpet below. You sobbed, not only from the pain but from the failed escape. You destroyed your only chance. There was no way Eren would ever trust you that much again.

He felt bad for yelling—and even worse for making you bleed. He should have known better than to trust you so quickly. Maybe this was his fault, not yours. He was too desperate for your love and acceptance.

“I…Fuck. Come on.” He struggled to find the words, instead moving off of you and picking you up from the floor. With shaky hands, you covered your bleeding nose and tried to stop the blood from getting everywhere, leaning your head away from Eren so that if the blood did drip, it wouldn’t get on him.

He walked through the doorway to the basement, cementing your failure as you were ending up in the same place you were trying to escape from. He wasted no time shutting the door behind him and making his way down the stairs, each step creaking beneath his feet. You were taken to the bathroom and placed on the closed toilet seat, Eren shutting and locking the door beside you. He really didn’t trust you now.

The first thing he did after that was grab a few squares of toilet paper, ripping them in half, rolling them up, and moving your hands away so he could shove them into your nose. Both dry and fresh blood covered your palms, the pools of red spilling down your arms from how little you could hold. Eren—after making sure the roll of toilet paper wasn’t going to fall out of your nostril—went to grab a rag from the shelf, wetting it in the sink and ringing it out quickly so he could clean the blood off of you.

He wiped down your arms and hands first—as that’s where most of the mess was—before moving on to your face, where he carefully scrubbed the unpleasant feeling of dried blood off, being cautious to avoid knocking the toilet paper out of your nose.

Along with the blood, he wiped away your tears that wouldn’t stop falling. Discarding the rag, he tried to use his thumbs instead, hoping that maybe the skin contact would comfort you. If anything, it only made things worse, your sobs increasing in volume while you tried to move away from him. The sour look on his face didn’t help either.

Sighing, he stood up and unlocked the bathroom door, picking you up again and taking you to your bed. He put you down, wrapping your entire body in the blanket and comforter before wiping your tears away again. You couldn’t stop the tears—not even by holding your breath. Everything that had built up to this was meaningless now—you were back to square one, and you couldn’t handle it.

He grabbed your chin with his hand, forcing you to meet his dulled green eyes while he spoke to you, “We’re going to talk about this after you calm down, got it?”

You nodded, unprepared for when he pressed his lips to yours next, moving his hand behind your head and forcing you against him. He moved away after a minute, standing up and walking to the stairs while you sat there, eyes blown wide open as you struggled to process what just happened. By the time you’d come back to your senses, he was already at the top of the stairs, leaving you barely any time to confront him.

“Eren! Eren, wait!” You cried out, only to be met with the slam of the door—leaving you to sob loudly in the dark, alone in the cold basement again.

Upstairs, on the other side of the door, Eren stood there holding back tears. He leaned against it, balling his hands into fists and clenching his teeth. He was so angry—angry at himself, and at you. He was angry that he trusted you, and angry that you broke that trust. He just wanted you to love him like he loved you. At least, he wanted you to let him love you. Why couldn’t you do that? What was so hard about it? All he wanted was to love you, and you wouldn’t let him. He didn’t understand, and the fact that he couldn’t was pissing him off.

It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair.

He slid down the door, covering his face with his hands as he began to sob. It’d been a long time since he cried like this. There were very few things as painful as the love of your life rejecting you—at least to Eren, anyways.

All he could do was tell himself that you would eventually cave, that you’d eventually give into him and let him love you. You had to—you would be able to fight against him forever. Even if you didn’t love him back—if you at least let him love you, that would be enough. That would be enough.

—————————

After crying for what felt like hours, Eren finally grew calm enough to clean up the broken plate in the kitchen and check on his bird, going to his room afterward to watch TV and sulk. While curled up in his sheets, he scrolled through dozens of different forums and web searches, looking for a way to apologize to you for hurting you accidentally. Although there was a strong desire to do something to punish you for trying to leave, god knows how much more you would hate him if he did—and he refused to take that chance.

Time passed faster than he realized, the sun nearly setting and dinner time coming quicker than he could meal plan. When he finally realized how late it was getting, he panicked and scrambled to make you something simple to eat, all while trying to decide how he was going to apologize to you.

The meal he made was simple, just something easy and microwavable so he could get it to you fast. He was too anxious to eat anything big, so he scarfed down a few granola bars for dinner before making his way to the basement door.

As soon as he pulled it open, anxiety swelled in his chest, and he prayed that you would be calmer than you were earlier. Each step he took down the stairs felt heavy, the dread weighing him down more than anything physical could.

You came into view when he was halfway down the steps, and by god, you look miserable. You were still how he left you, curled up in the blankets and staring at the floor. The absence of a bloody tissue in your nose and quiet sniffles instead of sobs were the only things different about you.

You didn’t even look at him when he approached you, placing your food on the nightstand and turning the table lamp on to its highest setting.

He sat next to you, staring at the side of your head and waiting for some kind of indication as to how you were feeling, and if you were ready to talk to him yet. You stayed still, nervous to say anything or move even an inch. Even if he was calmer now, you were still afraid. One wrong move and he might snap at you again, and you didn’t want to risk it.

After a minute of awkward silence, you were finally the first to speak up, “Do you… hate me?”

He looked shocked, almost immediately saying, “No, No! Of course not… I could never.”

After another quiet moment, he repeated your question, “Do you hate me?”

You shook your head. As much as you wanted to, and as much as you should have, you just couldn’t. You’d been through too much with him and been with him for far too long to just turn around and hate him.

“I’m sorry. For—for hurting you. I panicked and—and I really regret the way I reacted. I’m sorry.” He apologized, looking down so you wouldn’t see the guilt in his eyes.

Your head snapped in his direction, the expression on your face showing slight shock. Eren was never one to apologize for most things, except when it came to you—but even then, there was a limit to what he would apologize for, and stopping your escape was not something you thought would be under that limit.

Noticing the look you gave him, Eren knew what your immediate thought was and was quick to correct it, “Don’t get the wrong idea; I’m sorry for hurting you, not sorry for keeping you here.”

As he watched your face drop, he started to feel like an asshole for saying it like that. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close, the blankets around you making it easier for him to keep you constrained.

“Listen, I only keep you here because I know it’s safer. You’re safe here, away from everyone. I keep you here because I love you and,” he paused, feeling his eyes begin to water at just the thought of it, “and I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I ever lost you or if you got horribly hurt. So I have to keep you here where I can always keep an eye on you. Where I can protect you…”

His arms tightened around you and his face nestled into your neck, allowing you to feel every shaky breath that came out of him until he calmed himself. He was suffocating you in the blanket, hugging you so tight that you could barely manage to inhale.

“Too tight… too tight, Eren.” You managed to choke out, prompting him to let go of you and apologize again.

Before he could make anything worse than he already had, Eren stood up and turned towards the stairs, muttering something about having a nice dinner while he started to walk away, determined to leave for fear of making another mistake and hurting you again.

He hadn’t even reached the stairs and you were already panicking and tripping over yourself and the blankets, trying to grab onto him to prevent him from leaving you alone again. You couldn’t handle being alone even more right now.

“Eren! Eren, wait, wait! Please, don’t leave this time! Please! Please…”

By the time you were able to reach him, you were almost in tears—tugging on the bottom of his shirt and burying your face into his back, “I don’t want to be alone again. Please.”

His heart shattered when he heard you say that. Immediately, he turned around, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you back to the bed. He sat down with you in his lap, hugging you and rocking back and forth while rubbing soothing circles into your back. For a while, you just sat there, face buried in his neck while you clung to him for comfort.

This is exactly what he wanted. This is all he’s ever wanted. Could you finally see that now?

After a minute, you were finally calm and slumped against him, feeling the most relaxed that you had in days. His arms were warm—so warm compared to everything else. You didn’t want to leave.

“I’m sorry for trying to run,” you apologized, “I really regret it. I’m so sorry.”

You held onto him desperately, your face against his neck the entire time. He stopped tracing circles on your back after processing what you’d said, and it made you tense up. The last thing you wanted right now was to make him angry.

“Would you still regret it if you did make it out?” He questioned you, trying to hide the hurt in his voice.

“Yes. Without you, I—I wouldn’t know what to do… I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” You held onto him even tighter, afraid that he would try and leave after your answer, “I’d do anything for you to forgive me. I swear I would.”

Eren hesitated for a moment before speaking again, “Anything?”

Realizing the extent of what you said, you quickly corrected yourself before he could say anything else, “Almost anything.”

He chuckled at you, “I wasn’t going to ask for anything weird or sexual. Promise. I was just wondering if we could… take a bath together.”

You leaned back and cocked your eyebrow at him.

“Seriously! I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to. I just—I just want to take a bath with you. So we can relax. It’s been a long day, I think we both need it.”

Nodding, you rested your head against his shoulder again, tensing up when he slid his hands under your butt.

“So, is that a ‘yes’?”

You nodded again. He stood up, holding your legs around his waist as he walked to the bathroom. He turned on the lights and set you down on the toilet seat, walking to the bathtub and getting down on his knees to plug the drain and turn it on. As the tub filled, he stood up and pulled his t-shirt off, bunching it up and tossing it into the hamper like a basketball.

“He scoooores!” He shouted, drawing out the o and shooting his arms into the air to celebrate his minor victory. You clapped, giggling while he flexed his arms and pretended to show off,

The tub was filling quickly, so he continued to strip—slipping off his sweatpants and boxers next and throwing them to join his shirt. You kept your head turned away from him, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to help your wandering eyes if you were to look at him.

He got into the tub, the water going just above his hips, “Your turn.”

You got off of the toilet and stripped quickly, pulling off your shorts and underwear at the same time and tossing all of it into the hamper.

When you turned towards Eren, his face was red and he was staring directly at you. It looked like he hadn’t even tried to turn away. You tried to ignore it, covering up your chest and walking to the tub, his eyes still observing and taking in every inch of your body.

As you stepped in, he put a hand on the back of your thigh, making you flinch so hard that you almost slipped over. He apologized and quickly retracted his hand, looking down in shame. Despite his actions having the innocent intent of helping you keep your balance while you sat, the way it came off was horrible.

When you sat, the water was up past your stomach and near the top of the bathtub, so you reached forward and turned the water off before finally leaning back into Eren.

His face was still red and hot, warming you up along with the water. Your face was mostly the same—burning up with embarrassment and beginning to sweat. You could feel everything with the way you were pressed against him. Everything.

He was leaned back, arms on the sides of the tub and his knees bent on either side of you. You were leaning on him, your arms next to his and your legs straight forward next to his. You could feel his chest on your back, but more noticeably, you could also feel his dick. Right up against your back. Hard, against your back.

You tried to ignore it, and you could tell Eren was trying hard too as well. He was tensed up, almost shaking, and his hands were clenched into fists. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, reaching behind him and tugging on the band that held his bun in place. His hair tumbled onto his shoulders and around your head as you tugged the band out, tossing it outside of the tub and resting your arms next to his again.

He was even tenser now, all of the muscles and veins in his arms showing more prominently than they normally would because of how hard he clenched his fists. Being in the bath like this with you was nearly impossible. He wanted to do these things with you without it being sexual—but he’d wanted you for so long. If he had just had that release beforehand then maybe he wouldn’t be thinking like this, but it was too late for that now.

You were just too perfect to handle—you were too perfect for him and yet, here you were, sitting in between his legs, naked in a bathtub. If you had told him months prior that this is where he’d end up, he’d probably faint. He needed you. He needed you so badly—and he was going to go mad if he couldn’t feel you soon.

“Could I… touch you?”

You immediately tensed up at his question, and he could feel it.

“I—I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! I just want to… feel your skin… and feel you.” Eren sighed as his face turned even redder than before, his flushed face making him look like he had a fever, “Please.”

You thought it over for a minute before deciding. Sure, there were many things you didn’t trust him with—but if there was one thing you trusted him with, it would be listening to your boundaries. Physical boundaries, that is.

“I guess you can.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I just… really want to touch you.” He leaned forward, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I’m sure, Eren. I promise.” You gave his cheek a pat, grabbing his wrist afterward and slowly pulling it towards you.

It felt like nearly all of the tension in his body was finally released as his palm hit your stomach. He moved his other hand to join the one already on you, his fingers moving to graze over your sides.

A shiver went up your back, and you jolted slightly as he buried his nose into the crook of your neck. He seemed to be enjoying touching you a little too much.

His hands slid up and down your waist, his fingers tickling all of the sensitive spots there and making you squirm. He continued, tracing hearts into your stomach with one hand while he did.

“You’re so soft.” He pressed you against him, your back now flush with his chest as he continued to feel your stomach.

You shivered as his hands trailed up your sides, around your back, and to your shoulders. He moved them to your arms, bringing them down to your sides as he continued to rub them.

“God, I… I’ve always wanted this. I’ve always wanted to hold you and touch you like this. I’ve always… wanted you.” He nuzzled his face into your neck more, squeezing your arms lightly. Having you here in his arms—where he could finally hold and protect you—felt so surreal.

Your face was hot, and your body was shaking. It was so difficult to admit after everything but—you wanted him too. You wanted him to touch you, hold you, and protect you. You wanted to feel safe in his arms like you did before he did this. You wanted to feel like you did before this. Like you did when he was just your best friend.

You would do anything to forget the situation you were currently in.

“You know, Eren—before all of this, I… liked you as more than a friend. I always thought that—that if I waited long enough, that maybe the feelings would go away or maybe you would confess something first.”

“You mean—you mean I could have had a chance?” He sounded so sad as he asked.

“I guess you could have—but… I don’t really know.”

You could hear his pout in his voice, “That’s—That’s ok. We’ll never know now, anyways.”

You nodded, quietly staring at your feet in the water.

“Although—It might’ve just ended up right back here anyways… Even if I did get to call you mine before this, I just—I can’t protect you outside like I can in here.” Eren confessed, moving to hold your waist instead of gripping your arms.

You felt your heart sink a little at that—knowing that no matter what your relationship was with Eren, things would have likely ended up here anyways.

To avoid thinking about it any longer, you tried to change the topic, “How long have you liked me, Eren?”

“Since like… elementary school,” He hid his face in your shoulder again, his voice becoming slightly muffled as he continued, “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

“You have? But—what about all of those people you dated at the beginning of college?”

“You mean the total of 3 relationships I had? That all lasted less than a month?”

“Yes, Eren, that’s what I mean. You’re not supposed to date people when you’re in love with someone else, jerk!” You meant it to be teasing, but it was still true.

“Hey! In my defense, none of them were serious! I was just… trying to see if I could get over you.”

He sounded sorrowful as he finished talking, keeping his face in your neck and closing his eyes. The following silence was deafening, and you could feel him tensing up again. You pressed yourself into him more, trying to comfort him.

“Did…Did you ever do stuff with them?”

Taken aback by your question, it took him a moment to answer, “Well… I did but… It wasn’t that enjoyable for me. I couldn’t get hard if I wasn’t… thinking about you. One of the biggest reasons that none of the relationships worked out is because I was just… so obsessed with you.”

He squeezed you again.

“Have… you ever done stuff with anybody?” He asked. His voice was shaking, and you could tell that this was a question that he really didn’t want you to answer ‘yes’ to. Thankfully for him, your truthful answer was ‘no.’

You definitely hadn’t been with anybody. Throughout high school, you had a boyfriend or two, but nothing that lasted long enough for you to even get a chance at being comfortable with that kind of intimacy. Most of them were there for maybe a week before they ran for the hills—probably because of Eren. He was always mean to anyone you had a mere crush on—you having an actual boyfriend turned him into a borderline stalker. Although—you knew now that he always kind of was. He just didn’t bother to hide it when something threatened to take you away.

“I’m glad you haven’t,” He smiled against your neck, “that means I get to be your first.”

“Excuse me?”

His eyes went wide against you and he sat up, no longer slouching over you, “Holy shit I didn’t mean to say that.”

Instead of the usual reassuring giggle you usually gave whenever he said or did something stupid, there was silence. Worried he messed up, Eren apologized repeatedly, pulling his arms away from you.

You grabbed his wrists, pulling them back to you, “I really really hate to admit this, but—but I—I wouldn’t… mind it if you were my first.”

Your hands were shaking, anxiety filling your chest, and a warm feeling brewing in between your legs. Your emotions were everywhere, desperate for Eren’s love and attention but just as equally disgusted by him for trapping you here.

But, was what he did really that disgusting?

In all the time you’d been here, he’d been nothing but patient with you—ignoring his few bursts of anger—and he’d done everything he could to take care of you. He loved you. So much. And you wanted to love him too.

“Eren—I…” You managed to turn your head enough to face him, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for trying to run away.”

Tears formed in the corners of your eyes, your vision growing blurry as you fought to hold them in.

“Oh, baby, you don’t have to apologize. I can’t change anything now but… you don’t have to apologize.” He wrapped one of his arms around you, the other hand cupping your cheek to comfort you. Carefully, he pressed his lips against yours and kissed you; it was so painfully gentle that it made your heart ache. His thumb stroked your cheek before he pulled away for a quick breath, leaning in after to kiss you again and again and again. He couldn’t get enough of you; he loved you so much and he needed you to see it.

Slowly, the kisses got deeper—and you became hyper-aware of how close he was to you again, his dick still pressed up to your back.

In an impulsive moment driven by your desperation and slight arousal, you pleaded, “Please touch me, Eren. Please, just make me yours. I want you to hold me, please, please.”

He looked shocked for a moment, but nodded anyway, barely being able to hide his excitement behind jagged and shaky breaths. Slowly, he turned your head forward and pushed it against his shoulder, allowing you to sit more comfortably in between his legs with yours spread out. The hands he had around you slowly made their way to your stomach, forcing jolts and squeaks out of you as they passed over the more sensitive spots on your sides.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked, not wanting to cause any more accidental emotional damage than he already had today.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Alright, just… tell me if I’m too rough. I tend to do that without realizing.”

With your final nod, he let out a huge sigh and began to inch his hands up to your chest. He slowed as he reached it, hesitantly cupping your boobs with shaking hands. Your face was hot and his was red, both of you nervous about this first-time experience.

He began to fondle you, squeezing and playing with your boobs. You leaned your head back on his shoulder, whimpering quietly as he began to touch and toy with your nipples, his fingers grazing over them repeatedly and occasionally giving them a gentle tug.

His cock was rock hard against your back now, and you could feel just how excited he was. It made you flustered to know that he only ever got this way over you.

One of his hands continued to play with your chest while the other slowly moved downward, drifting over your stomach and down to in between your legs.

His fingers touched your clit, forcing a gasp out of you and making you flinch. You were shaking even more, arousal building up in the pit of your stomach. You wanted him to touch you—but it was so nerve-wracking.

“Are you alright?” Eren asked you, his chin on your shoulder, “We can stop if you want.”

You shook your head, “No, no! Please, keep touching me. I’m just—I’m so nervous.”

He nodded, giving you a peck on your neck, “I am too. It’s ok.”

His heart was beating out of his chest. Why wouldn’t it be? He was getting to touch the most perfect person he’d ever seen—he was getting to call them his. It was the most exciting thing in the world.

He kissed your neck, moving up and down to cover it with his affection. His fingers touched and rubbed at your clit, pressing against it and moving around in slow circles.

Your entire body was on fire; the sudden stimulation was overwhelming. Your tiny gasps and whimpers were like music to his ears.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, taking note of your noises while he searched for the spot you reacted the most to.

Nodding, you tilted your head away from him to give him more room to kiss—but instead of that, he latched onto a spot smack dab in the middle of your neck and started sucking away, his goal to give you the biggest hickey he could. You trembled, pressing your hips against his hand to beg for more.

He complied, his hand speeding up and the rubbing becoming so fast that it made the water in the tub splash around. His other hand was still on your chest, squeezing it and rubbing your nipple.

“Oh god—Eren, Eren.” Your hips bucked into his hand as you cried out, all of the different things he was doing almost driving you over the edge.

“You gonna cum?” He asked, only pulling away from your neck to speak before he was back to sucking on it.

“I think—yes, yes, I’m gonna!” You tried to grab onto the sides of the tub, whimpering when he let go of your tit so that his hand could join the other.

He stopped touching you, pulling you back against his chest before he trailed his finger around your clit again, slower this time.

“You’re already going to cum?” He chuckled, “You really are a virgin, aren’t you, angel?”

You pouted, clearly feeling embarrassed by the comment, which only made him laugh more, “Come on baby… it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I just think it’s cute is all.”

After that, you went quiet, flustered and leaning against him, waiting for him to pleasure you again.

He kissed your neck, tracing tiny hearts on your lower stomach before he moved his hands back to where they were previously. Gently, he grazed a finger over your clit, barely touching it, and rested it right on your throbbing heat. He prodded at it, sliding his fingers in between your lips before dipping one inside of you, going up to the first knuckle.

You let out a gasp and leaned your head back onto his shoulder, your cunt gripping around his finger, not used to having fingers as big as his inside of you. Sure, you’d done things to yourself on your own time—but his fingers were huge, making yours seem puny in comparison. Having someone else’s finger inside of you felt different too—it made you feel so out of control but still excited at the same time, so excited you were shaking from arousal.

He didn’t move his finger, instead using his other hand to play with your clit while you got used to the feeling.

“Tell me when you want me to move my fingers, ok?”

“Ok—Ok.” You repeated yourself, taking in a deep breath to slow your racing heart. As out of control as you felt, Eren helped to remind you that he would always stop if it was too much for you. It helped you feel more comfortable in this position—pressed against him with your legs spread wide.

Finally, you were able to relax—your pussy no longer squeezing around his finger, and your muscles untensing after being contracted almost the entire time he was touching you. It felt nice—finally being able to enjoy his touches without the uncomfortable tense feeling in your body.

“You can move them now, Eren.”

With your permission, he did just that—moving his finger in and out of you slowly, continuing to massage your clit while he did. You let out a loud sigh, shuddering at the feeling of his finger pumping in and out of you. You wanted more.

“Another finger. Please.”

“Already? Are you sure?”

“Yes, Eren, please.”

“God, I love it when you say my name.”

You felt his other finger penetrate you soon after, filling you up and stretching you out. With two of his fingers inside of you instead of one, you felt fuller than you ever thought you would. It made you wonder how you would feel with his entire dick inside of you—how full you would feel, how good you would feel. It made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

His fingers moved quickly, pushing into you over and over. That, combined with him vigorously rubbing your clit, left you a panting, whining mess. He reached deeper than you ever could, allowing him to hit spots you’d never touched before. You tried to move your hips with his hands, pushing into them—and he continued to press deeper, his fingers as deep as they could be but still trying to push past the limit.

“It feels so good, fuck. Eren!” You reached back, grabbing onto his shoulders while you whimpered and cried, the warm feeling in your core increasing as he moved.

“Yeah? Does it, baby?”

Much to your dismay, Eren could feel that you were getting close by how you were squeezing his fingers again, your heat pulsating as you were nearing the height of your pleasure—so he pulled his fingers away. You whined at him, feeling even more disappointed than the last time he did this—but thankfully, he didn’t intend on leaving you unsatisfied forever.

Moving his hands to your waist and massaging tiny circles into them, he asked you quietly, turning shy about touching you all over again, “Can—Can I fuck your thighs? Please? We don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’ll keep using my fingers, but,” he paused, hiding his face in the crook of your neck near the gigantic hickey he left, “I really want to try it. And it’s the closest I can get to fucking you without actually…”

It only took you a moment of thinking before you nodded—your head was so clouded by need that the only words you processed were basically ‘him fucking you’ as you become overly aware of his hard-on pressed against your back again.

“Really?” He asked, just to be sure you were ok with it.

When you nodded again, he stood up as fast as he could, his body dripping wet and his dick sticking up. He didn’t hesitate to pull you onto your feet next, pushing you against the bathtub wall. You spread your legs awkwardly, trying to give him space to put his dick. He took a moment to move into the right position and fix his balance before sliding in between your legs, pressing it against your pussy and pushing them back together so that it would stay like that.

Looking down at yourself, you could see the tip of it protruding from in between your thighs, the shaft rubbing up against your cunt and making you shiver. It felt amazing, surprisingly. Maybe it was just because you had already been aroused before, but it felt so good to have him rubbing up against you like this. He was so big too, and just the thought of him putting it inside of you eventually? It had you clenching around nothing, just aching for release.

Eren grabbed onto your hips, pressing his flush against yours before he started to move back and forth, sliding his cock up and down your throbbing cunt and in between your thighs. Every time the tip slid over your clit, it sent lightning through your body, making you cry out as he moved faster and faster, the sound of your thighs slapping together echoing through the bathroom.

“Fuck, I never thought I’d be able to do this.” His grip on your hips grew tighter, the water in the tub sloshing around as your legs moved with his thrusts, “I’ve never wanted to do this with anyone else and—and now I finally get to it with you.”

He pushed you up to the wall more, your face and chest squished against it, “Mine. Mine. All mine.”

His length against your clit was pushing you over the edge, the repetitive and fast movements sending you spiraling into bliss. If it weren't for his hold on you, you would have collapsed into the water.

“I’m—fuck—Eren!”

You unraveled, your heat convulsing and clenching around nothing while you cried, finally reaching your climax. Your body was shaking, and you crumbled underneath him as he kept going, desperate to reach his own release. You flinched and jolted around, the overstimulation taking control over your body—but he kept you in place, holding you still with one hand and lacing the other’s fingers with yours.

With a couple more thrusts, he came undone, his cum ending up on the wall and dripping off of the tip. He leaned over you, panting into your neck and moving his hand up your side to massage it.

“God—You’re so perfect. You’re so fucking perfect.” He kissed down your neck and to your shoulder blade, sucking a hickey into it while he caressed your stomach, “I love you. I love you so much. God, I can’t believe you’re finally mine.”

You leaned your head back on him, grabbing onto his arm with your free hand and ignoring what he was saying, “I wanna shower now… the bath wasn’t very cleansing.”

“Ok, ok, we can,” he pulled you away from the wall, standing up straight, “Step out for a bit so I can drain the tub and… clean up my mess.”

Nodding, you stepped around him and got out of the tub, watching him turn and bend over to unplug the drain. He turned the spout on after, scooping up the water with his hands and throwing it on the wall. After the tub was drained and the wall was clean, he turned the shower on and pulled you back in, holding you in his arms while you leaned back on him, relaxing under the warm water.

—————————

After the slow shower, filled with lots of clinging and Eren continuously trying to hold your boobs, you both were met with the realization that Eren forgot to bring a change of clothes for you and himself. Instead of dragging himself upstairs to get some, he forced his t-shirt over your head and put his boxers back on, carrying your squealing self back to the bed in the other room.

You lay down together, cuddling up under the blanket and getting all cozy, your eyes growing heavy at a rapid speed. Being cuddled up like this was just so relaxing, it was hard not to fall asleep.

The lazy pillow talk continued for a while until you were finally too exhausted to talk, your body giving into sleep faster than you could realize. Your head rested in between his bicep and his chest, legs tangled with his, and your arms around him. He had his hand on your back, the other wrapped around you and holding onto your butt.

When he noticed you drifting off, he kissed your head and said goodnight, waiting until you were fully asleep to finally let himself relax. As he followed your lead and slowly closed his eyes, the only thing he could think about was how much he had planned for you.

And It was a lot.

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