Tumgik
#min yoongi x male reader
male-reader-haven · 1 year
Text
⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••Just a Taste?••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑
Christmas Week day 3
Yoongi and Y/N are baking cookies for Christmas together for the other members! What could possibly go wrong? ;)
My first Yoongi fic!!! I have another in the works for a bit so expect more of him to come!!!! This one is a bit shorter, but I actually really liked how it turned out!
Tags: dom Min Yoongi x sub male reader, smut
Warnings: 18+, food play, edging
Tumblr media
The sound of pots and pans rustling catches your ear, ringing out through the house and causing you to turn in your bed. It's not early in the morning, but it isn't late either, only being 11:20 AM. You decide to investigate and sit up. You don't bother changing out of your silky pajamas (Jin had gifted them to you before and you actually really liked it). You thought it was just you at home today, since the other members had been talking about going Christmas shopping all day, and you weren't that interested, so you volunteered to stay home. If any of them stayed home however, you have a pretty good guess at who it is. Once you make your way to the kitchen, your theory proves correct and you are greeted with the one and only Min Yoongi still in his sleep clothes busy getting together ingredients and bowls.
"Whatcha doin?" You ask, leaning on the counter.
"I didn't feel like going out. It's probably busy." Yoongi replies without looking up. "Thought I would surprise you guys with some cookies. Plus, I didn't want you to be alone..." His voice falls off quieter at the last part. You smile. Yoongi cares for you all so much, but still gets shy about it.
Such a tsundere.
"Awe, you do care!" You laugh and go over to stand next to him. "Can I help?"
Yoongi looks up to your face, an unreadable expression on his face. "I don't need help, but you can if you want to."
"Perfect!" You roll up your sleeves and wash your hands. Yoongi brings over a bowl and a few measured out portions of flour, sugar and other ingredients.
"Here, blend the dry ingredients while I measure the vanilla and stuff."
You blend the ingredients and get together a nice mixture as Yoongi pours in the milk, eggs and vanilla. You start to mix it together, but it quickly gets thick and difficult to mix with one hand. You struggle for a moment before realizing Yoongi is standing watching you, smiling and laughing silently at your pain.
"Ah hyung, don't just laugh!" You pout.
"Okay okay, here." Still grinning Yoongi reaches over and helps adjust your grip on the bowl and spoon, placing his hands over yours. Your heart flutters for a moment, but you brush it off. "We can do it with our combined strength!" Yoongi laughs as he helps you mix the cookie dough, standing behind you with both hands on top of yours. You love hearing him laugh, love seeing him smile. It's not that Yoongi isn't a happy person, it's just that he tends to hide his expressions and feelings around other people, so hearing him laugh so freely like this is...
"Now we have to roll them out and cut them, like this." Yoongi interrupts your thoughts by forming the dough into a blob and setting it on a mat. He then rolls up his sleeves and starts rolling and kneading the dough. You can't help but stare as his beautiful hands as he works, his long fingers so delicate yet strong, doing the work.
"Y/N?"
"Ah, what? Sorry, I must still be tired." You snap out of your daydream. "Now we cut them from the roll, right?" Yoongi nods, and the two of you shape and cut out the cookie shapes from the dough and place them on the baking sheets, then place them in the oven.
"How long do they bake for?" You ask.
"Twenty five minutes, or until they don't look doughy in the center."
"So do we just wait then?"
Yoongi points to more ingredients on the counter. "Perfect amount of time to start making the frostings."
"Damn, cooking sure is a lot of work!" You go over to inspect the food coloring and ingredients.
Yoongi chuffs. "Yeah, that's why you all make Jin and I cook for you." He starts gathering the ingredients, instructing you on measurements, letting you try doing it on your own.
"Oh, geez!" You exclaim as powdered sugar goes everywhere. Yoongi laughs.
"You have to add it slowly or else it goes everywhere like flour." He rustles your hair, releasing a cloud of powdered sugar in the air. "Cute," he says under his breath. You blush.
Eventually you get some decent frosting out of the whole debacle, ending up with separate bowls with different colors for decorating. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, because the timer to the oven goes off and Yoongi pulls the cookies out of the oven.
"Wow, they look perfect!" You exclaim, admiring the golden cookies.
"They did come out pretty great! We just have to wait for them to cool." Yoongi looks satisfied and sets down the oven mitts. He turns to look at you. "Ah, you have some frosting on your face."
"Oh really? Where?" You bring your hand to brush your face. "Did I get it?"
"Not in the slightest." Yoongi smiles, and you swear you catch his face turning pink. "Here, let me get it." He takes his finger and swipes your cheek, then to your surprise he puts his finger in his mouth. "Mmm, You did good." He looks away, as if embarrassed.
You stand there for a moment in shock, then muster up enough courage to respond.
"Actually Yoongi, you have some on your face too." He turns to look at you. You take one of the spoons and smear white frosting on his cheek and mouth.
"Ack, Y/N!" He laughs and retaliates, grabbing another spoon and smudging frosting on you, getting it on your forehead and lips. After a moment of giggling, you look into Yoongi's eyes. His expression is deeper, his smile falling into something more thoughtful and his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink. You find that your faces are much closer than they were moments ago. Before you can process what is happening, your lips collide and you kiss Yoongi, a quick kiss at first, but upon separating Yoongi goes back into it, deepening the kiss. You feel your stomach do a backflip and savor the taste of frosting on Yoongi's soft lips, whimpering slightly as he bites your bottom lip. Finally you separate, Yoongi hovering for a moment before licking his lips.
"...tastes good..." You can't tell if he is referring to the frosting or you. Then Yoongi presses your back against the counter and looks you up and down with hungry eyes.
"Y-Yoongi, I..." You stutter. You can feel your face burning up. Yoongi runs a hand along your side and looks you in the eyes.
"Is this okay?" He asks in a low voice. "Tell me if you want me to stop."
You are surprised, sure, but you definitely like what is happening. You swallow and nod. "Yes, Yoongi."
He bites his lip and starts undoing the buttons on your sleepshirt. He takes the spoon with frosting on it and examines it for a moment, thinking, before he smears frosting on your chest and uses his fingers to run it down your stomach and below your belly button. He then starts kissing and licking the frosting off your chest. You have never felt anything like this before. The feeling of his tongue on your skin drives you wild, and you moan softly under his mercy.
"Ah, Yoon... That feels good..." You squirm slightly as Yoongi continues licking you clean, trailing lower and lower until he reaches your boxers, holding back your very aroused member. He looks up at you one more time, checking to see if you stop him or not, before he gets on his knees and pulls down your underwear. You hiss slightly at the sudden cold air and blush. Yoongi takes his finger and ever so lightly traces along from your center along your shaft and stops at your tip. He then looks you in the eyes and pumps your cock a few times, getting you harder.
"Y/N, I want to taste you..." He eyes your cock and throws you a serious look. "I won't do it until I have your permission."
You smile, loving how polite he is. "Please do." You huff the words, already extremely aroused and a bit impatient. At your consent, Yoongi licks his lips and grips your thighs as he kisses the tip of your cock first, sending chills down your spine, then putting it in his mouth.
Oh fuck, he's good.
Yoongi uses his tongue to stimulate you while also moving his head, making your mind draw blanks and giving you goosebumps.
"Aw fuck Yoongi, you're really fucking good, hnnn..." You try to keep your voice as composed as possible, which is hard to do considering you are currently getting the best head you have ever had. Yoongi quickens his pace, going harder and deeper while you slightly buck your hips into him. You can't believe how stunningly beautiful he is when you look down at him, his long black hair and perfect skin and beautiful mouth taking your cock. "You're gonna make me come soon, fuck!" As a response, Yoongi goes even faster and harder, trying to get you to your edge. You can't take it anymore.
"Ah, fuck, coming soon, ah, aah, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuCK-" Just as you felt your pleasure peak, Yoongi stops and pulls away, then grabs your dick and puts his thumb on your tip, preventing you from ejaculating. You cry out from the ruined orgasm. "Ohhhhhh fuck, come on, why? Ohhhhh fuck, please." You look down at Yoongi desperately. He gets off his knees and stands up to your level once again.
"Don't panic baby, I just want you to see how good you taste." Yoongi then pushes up against you ad kisses you again, this time snaking in his tongue to explore you. While the two of you make out, his hand goes to your abused cock and starts to pump.
"Hng, hwah, haah..." You moan into Yoongi's mouth at the sensation, still sensitive from how close you got moments ago.
"Don't worry, I won't be mean this time." Yoongi breathes into your mouth as he speeds up the pace of his hand.
"Aw fuck, Yoongi you're killing meeee..." You let out high pitched whimpers as Yoongi brings you closer and closer to your peak for a second time that morning.
"You close baby? You feel good?" Yoongi smirks and attacks your neck with kisses. It's obvious how much he is enjoying watching you at his mercy and disposal.
"Mhm, fuck yes, your hands feel so good round my cock, fuck, I'm gonna come soon..." You tilt your head back, staring at the ceiling before Yoongi uses his other chin to redirect your attention to him, planting another sloppy, open-mouth kiss. You do your best to warn him while you make out.
"Hnng, gonna come, gonna come, coming, coming, ah fuck, oohohhhhhhh!" You moan as you come into Yoongi's hand. You stand there, riding out your high and admiring oongi in front of you, steely gaze and eyes locked on yours as he takes his hand to his face and puts a finger in his mouth.
"I knew you'd taste good."
Tumblr media
Send me suggestions on what to write next! ~ <3
--Masterlist--
358 notes · View notes
03-shiro-25 · 9 months
Text
Min Yoongi | Am I aggressive?
Min Yoongi x male reader
Synopsis: Reader has ONE topic he is really sensitive about... aggression/anger issues, so when someone mentions it at the dinner he is at, his mood changes completely
warnings: angst, panic attack?, lmk if i missed something
Note: english is not my first language, so i apologize for all mistakes I made, plus this is the first time I am writing and posting something
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵❘༻༺❘‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
Tumblr media
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵❘༻༺❘‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
You were so excited for today! Since the day you started dating Yoongi 3 weeks ago you always wanted to meet his friends. You always admired the bond he had with the other 6 males. And today, after asking Yoongi again and again when you could finally meet his friends, he arranged a dinner with them.
“I can’t believe I can finally meet them! Do you think they will like me?” since the moment you got out of bed you have been extra happy and energetic. Always asking questions and jumping around the house talking about what the members might think of you, not even listening when he answers your previously asked questions.
That was one of the things Yoongi loved about you. You always seemed to be happy and enjoying your life. You were the reason he smiled every morning when he wakes up because he is excited to spend another day with your active self. It never got boring with you. And he was incredibly thankful for that. Due to his work he often felt exhausted, stressed or even depressed, but you are always there for him. Either distracting him by telling him stories from you life or your day or you listened to him rant and comfort him.
“Of course they will like you” he answered your last question with a loving smile, even though he was aware that you probably weren’t even listening again due to your excitement, as he watched you walk through his apartment, at which you were staying often lately, to go to his room where your clothes were. You would leave soon so you two had to start getting ready.
He followed you to his room since he too had to get changed and ready. It wasn’t uncomfortable for you two to change in front of each other. After he put on his black jeans and a white button up he turned to you. You chose some black shorts and a black t-shirt. He knew you hated formal clothes, and he had no problem with that. ‘He looks amazing in these shorts combined with the t-shirt’ he thought to himself but soon got snapped out of his thoughts once he heard the front door open, realizing you left for the car already and were waiting for him.
He smiled at himself as he made his way out of the house, locking it behind him. He headed to the passenger seat and got in before you started the car and drove to the restaurant. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Jimin is bringing a girl he has been meeting the past few weeks along to the dinner. He wants to introduce her to us and maybe make things with her official tonight” Yoongi told you while he admired the buildings passing past him. “Hey, he found himself a girl? I am happy for him!” you beamed happy for the younger man, and to show Yoongi you didn’t mind that someone else was coming too.
As soon as you arrived you saw the others already waiting at the table that was reserved for you all. You bowed down and greeted them all with a big smile on you face. “Hello, I am Y/N, it is a pleasure to finally meet you all!” they could hear your smile in your voice. So they all started smiling too. “No need to bow down, I am sure we will become good friends.” Namjoon told you and mentioned for you to sit down. Yoongi sat down beside you and watched you talk with everyone as if you all have been friends forever.
But there was one person who wasn’t talking to you at all. Jimin’s friend. She has just been sending you some annoyed glances. Probably because you got along with everyone so well and she didn’t really get the chance to talk to anyone properly. Yoongi noticed that and wanted to talk to her so she wouldn’t feel left out. But before he got the chance to say something he heard you laugh somewhat loud and looked at you. He loved the way your eyes closed and your teeth showed when you were laughing a REAL laugh.
In between your laughs you answered to what Jimin was telling you “You did not really say that! Did you?!” since you were invested in the conversation your voice was pretty loud and full of emotions. “Stop sounding so aggressive when you talk.” Jimin's girl snapped at you. That was the only thing it took to completely shut you up. You immediately stopped laughing and where completely silent. Your head hung low as you looked at your fidgeting fingers. “Finally..” was all that the girl added.
The moment Yoongi heard her say that he looked at you with a sad and worried expression. In your past 3 weeks he noticed that the word aggression did something to you, but nonetheless he has never seen your mood change like that, let alone in only one short moment. Now everyone was looking at you and Yoongi with an apologetic look. Your boyfriend was furious, but for Jimin’s sake he didn’t say anything to his girl friend, even though it took him all his energy to not right on scream at her to watch her mouth. 
Everyone awkwardly turned back to their conversations as you kept staring at your hands. Worries flooding your mind as you felt you hands starting to shake. Your sight got blurry as more and more tears gathered in your eyes. Yoongi looked at you worried since he noticed the shaking of your hands get more violent by the second. “Y/N?” he silently called out to you but you barely heard him. It sounded like it was muffled by a thick wall that separated his comforting presence from you.
As you tried not to think about it your breathing got quicker. It felt like not a single bit of air made its way to your aching lungs. You carefully stood up and talked with a really weak and shaky voice “I-if you ex-excuse me, I have to use the bathroom..” after that you speed-walked into one of the toilet stalls, locked it and let your tears flow freely. You hands shaking as if they where leaves in a storm and your breathing getting more uneven. The boys watched you leave with worry written on their faces. Yoongi shot up from his seat and followed you as quickly as he could.
‘Why do I always have to be so aggressive? Why can’t I be normal?! I hate this.. I hate to speak. Why is Yoongi with someone like me? All these years I tried to become better.. but I didn’t change one bit!!’ you screamed at yourself in you head. Your sobs increasing as more thoughts came flooding in.
You were scared. You could feel how you started to become dizzy from your uneven breathing. Your head started to hurt from all the crying. All you wanted was for it to stop.
Suddenly you heard a muffled banging on your toilet stall and someone screaming you name. “Y/N! Y/N please open the door!..Please let me in and help you..” at least your hearing came back slowly, so you recognized the person on the other side of the door was your boyfriend. He must have followed you here. He kept pulling and twisting at the doorknob trying to open the door. He tried to sound as calm and collected as he could, but he really needed to see you and make sure you were fine.
With shaky legs and hands you carefully tried to stand up to unlock the door but as soon as the lock was open you slumped back down onto the hard floor due to exhaustion. As soon as Yoongi heard the lock open he pulled the door open and kneeled down in front of your shaking body. The moment he looked at you he felt his heart ache. He has never seen you like this and he realized he definitely never wanted to see you like this again. Your always happy and bubbly personality was gone, he hated it. He wanted to see you happy and energetic again.
He broke out of his shock and thoughts when he heard you sniffle. His eyes stayed on you for a bit more before he finally placed a hand on your face gently. With his soft thumb he wiped your still flowing tears away. “Hey love. You don’t have to look at me but please try to match your breathing with mine. If you keep breathing like that I am afraid you might pass out” he hated the thought of that so he started to take in deep breathes, held them for a moment before exhaling again.
You did your best to copy him, and it worked. You breathing returned to normal. A sob wracked through your body again. “Shhhh.., everything is ok love.” he spoke as carefully and soft as he could, not wanting to upset you any further. Now your shaking started to die down too and you started to relax a bit more. “I am so sorry Yoongi..” he looked at you puzzled and hurt. What were YOU sorry for? “I must have embarrassed you in front of you friends.. please forgive me. I will never be aggressive aga-” before you could finish that sentence he carefully leaned forward, gently pushing his lips against yours with his hand still holding your cheek.
He kissed you. It was the first kiss you two shared in your relationship. He was so careful as he brushed his lips against yours as if they were made of thin glass. All the negative thoughts left your head as you now concentrated only on the kiss. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours. “Don’t say that. You were not aggressive at all. You never were. You are the nicest person I have ever had the honor to meet. You are literally the light of my life, as cheesy as this might sound.” he chuckled a bit “But only thanks to you I can smile everyday and started to love my life. She was just jealous because the attention of all boys were on you and not her, because they all love you, even though they only met you today. You are already family to them, and none of them think you are aggressive. You did nothing wrong, you hear me?” He looked you deep in the eyes as you nodded, showing him that you believed him. He meant everything he said. He loved you more than anything.
“I don’t know why you end up like this when someone calls you aggressive, but I won’t force you to tell me. When you are ready you can tell me. And no matter what the reason is, I love you and will always love you, ok?” once again he looked deep in your eyes. They show nothing but honesty and love. “I love you too Yoongi” you answer after he helped you stand up and supported you on your way back to the boys.
As you arrived all the boys came rushing to you. “Are you alright?” Namjoon asked concerned. You just nodded and smiled before you realized that Jimin’s girl wasn’t there. “Where is she?” you asked carefully. They immediately understood who you were talking about and looked at Jimin who looked slightly annoyed. “Well, after you left she kept talking shit about you. I finally saw her true self so I may or may not have scolded her and told her to leave.” now he looked at you with a bright smile.
“No one messes with Yoongi-hyungs boyfriend and gets away with it.” he grinned as he put his arm around your shoulder. At that you started to laugh again and everyone laughed with you. You were glad you came today. The boys made you feel excepted, like you belonged here.
They made you feel like you were home.
Tumblr media
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵❘༻༺❘‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
So, my first x reader. This is not proofread so I apologize for all mistakes again. I haven’t seen anyone write about reader who hates being called aggressive so I kinda had to try it myself haha. Please tell me what you think! (But maybe keep in mind that this is my first try writing an x reader, and please stay respectful!)
128 notes · View notes
kjsnugget · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Copycat
Pairing- Poly Bts x Male Reader
Summary- People who didn’t know you would consider you mean. Those who did know you loved you dearly. How does it go when you have to spend the evening with your seven boyfriends and the one guy who gets under your skin.
Warnings: Mentions of violence, reader is considered an asshole.
Notes- I apologize if your name is Jesse. If it is imagine another name. Thanks for reading!!
_________________________________________________
You wouldn't call yourself spiteful, but you would always give back what you received from people. People who knew you dearly would call you blunt but never rude. You never held back for anyone even when you should.  Some would consider you cold, you would agree. Despite your stand off attitude, you pulled seven men who would lay down their lives for you.
Everyone who knew you on a personal level loved you, those who didn't despised you deeply. Assuming you weren't good enough for the seven men, they would act rude to you. You never batted an eye towards these people. They don't know you and they never would. For their sake you would always hope they knew the lines and not to cross them. Man or women it never mattered, your hands were rated E for everyone.
Many tried to get under your skin, none succeeded. There was only one man who would cause your blood to boil. You respected your boyfriends to never cause a scene, he would tempt you though. His name was Jesse although you never referred to him by his name. It was obvious to you and your boyfriends he had a crush on them. They have remained polite, you have remained corral. Jesse watched you like hawk, waiting for anything he could use against you. You've noticed the changes in his style, following yours. His vocabulary beginning to sound a lot like yours.
The boys noticed the changes as well, they were smart enough to ignore the advances. Despite all seven, including Jimin, being taller then you, they knew you could beat them with your eyes closed.  They loved you nothing would ever come between that.
Today had been one of those you dreaded, Jesse would be coming over. He played nice in front of you, but you could see his crazy from miles away. Jin had been cuddling with you on the couch while Jimin sat on your lap. Jimin was watching you play games on your phone as he usually does. His legs laid across yours and Jin's as Jin's head laid on your shoulder. The knock on the door moved their attention away for a second, it returned when Yoongi opened the door. You snickered when you heard the greetings. You let a smirk tug your lips when yoongi denied his hug.
You felt his eyes on you, waiting for a greeting which you happily ignored. The two remained in their seats as they greeted him. You could sense his anger at the sight of you three on the couch. Everyone made their way to the living room and took their seats. "Do you guys want to watch a movie?" His voice sounded like hell in your ears. "Or we could go to the mall?" He looked towards Namjoon for an answer "actually M/n took us to the mall yesterday" you could see his face twist at the answer. "Oh M/n that reminds me, can you take me to the store later?" You looked for the sound of Hoseoks voice "sure baby, what do you need?" Before Hoseok could answer Jesse spoke up " I can take you now if you need to go"
You could see he was smiling ear to ear, trying to convince hobi to go. "Sorry Jesse M/n and I like this to be our personal time"  once again a smirk tugged at your lips. Jimin decided to get up to go the kitchen "anyone want something to drink?" Everyone spoke up and asked for something. You ignored when Jesse glared at you, following Jimin into the kitchen "I'll help you hyung" As they were in the kitchen Taehyung stole Jimins spot on your lap. Jin also removed himself from you to let Yoongi cuddle with you as he requested.  When the two came back Jimin let out a gasp and a pout "M/n how could you let tae steal my spot" the pout on his lips caused a chuckle to escape your lips.
"Sorry baby first come first serve, plus it's your turn to sleep in my bed tonight remember?" His pout quickly vanished as he remembered he got you to himself tonight. "Why do you call him baby? Isn't that disrespectful since he's older then you?" The small smile you held vanished as Jesse spoke to you "watch your tone, I'll call them whatever I want if they are okay with it" you could see the huff he let out when you spoke to him. "Why are you being so rude? I haven't done anything to you" you glanced up at him. Taehyung noticed the glare and out his hand on your chest. You listened as he whispered in your air to calm you down. You felt the anger fade slightly as yoongi also held a grip on your arm as he cuddled into you. It was his way of keeping you at bay.
Jungkook had been silent through out the day as he also had a hard time being around Jesse. Jungkook would be considered his favorite out of the seven, and Jungkook hated it. He despised feeling uncomfortable around someone , especially in his own home. He was cuddling into hoseok and Namjoon as Jin scrolled through movies. Jesse decided to take a seat next to Jin as he was the only one sitting alone at the moment. Once everyone agreed on the movie it was a discussion on take out "how about pizza?" Jesse suggested and was turned down "m/n doesn't really like pizza" Jungkook spoke up. "Oh well everyone else does it's easy as well" Jungkook shook his head "no let's get something everyone likes." You sent a smile towards jungkook, which made him want to melt in his seat.
"How about we order from that restaurant down the street? We've all been there before." Namjoons voice spoke from across the room, and everyone of course agreed. You were the one who usually did the orders, as you remembered what everyone liked. You already had the orders in your phone. "I can start the order does everyone want the same thing as last time?" Everyone nodded and you looked at Jesse "what do you want?" He shrugged "anything is fine"  you didn't care what you got him it was some type of chicken.
Once the food arrived everyone got comfortable to watch the movie. You decided to use the bathroom before it started, when you came back you felt your blood begin to boil. Jesse had taken your spot next to jungkook who obviously looked uncomfortable.  The boys were staring at you, they could tell you were ready to snap. They would rather have you going off then be quiet. You simply sat on the recliner chair that was open and looked at Jungkook. "Jungkook" his head snapped towards you as you patted your lap. He smiled wide as he quickly took his place on your lap.
You felt daggers aimed towards you as you looked at Jesse who was pissed off. The rest of the night went by quickly without any other incidents taking place. Everything was going great until a loud boom. Darkness spread throughout the house as you guys heard the rain begin pouring down. "Jungkook, can you get the candles baby?" He nodded although he forgot it was to dark for you to see. He quickly grabbed candles and began to light them. Soon you could see and began putting any food away so it wouldn't go away. " do you guys mind if I stay the night it doesn't look to safe to drive" Jesse asked as he stood from the couch. The boys all looked at each other nodding. They then looked at you asking for your input. You gave a small nod.
You didn't like Jesse, but you wouldn't be the cause of his death by letting him drive home in this weather. "I'll go grab extra pillows and blankets " hoseok said as he made his way down the hallway. When he came back the pulled the sofa bed out for him. "Thank you all I really appreciate it!" You didn't respond, you started making your way to your room. Before you made it to the door you felt a heavy presence behind you, turning around all seven men stood behind you. "M/n can we all stay in here, the storm is kind of scary" Yoongi decided to be the voice of reason. You opened the door and they all piled in. Your room wasn't as big as the others. Having a house with multiple rooms was for everyone to have their personal space when needed. Living with seven people can be a lot for anyone to handle. Having all seven men piled into your room was in your opinion adorable.
The night was spent with arguing of who was going to share the bed with you. Jimin had won as it was originally his night. The rest of them spread out through your room.
Sunlight came fast through your blinds, signaling it was morning. It was your turn to cook breakfast today so you did your best to sneak out without waking them. Closing the door quietly, you made your way to the kitchen. Deciding on waffles, eggs and bacon you got everything you needed. You brewed coffee and tea for everyone as you started cooking. Your mind had forgotten Jesse was sprawled out on the couch. You didn't remember he was there until you heard him greet the others Loudly. "M/n you left us in there" this time Namjoon held the pout "sorry baby I was making breakfast for everyone, I brewed your favorite coffee" he smiled and kissed your cheek while pouring his cup. 
"M/n do you make your waffles home made?" Once again his voice dampened your mood "usually I do, I didn't have enough stuff today so they are frozen." Your tone never changes when you speak to him. "Oh I usually make them home made too much better that way" you just hummed in response. Ignoring him was your only way to prevent a scene.
After serving them you were caught up in your own thoughts you didn't notice Hoseok trying to get your attention. Hoseok said your name a few times before he realized you were spaced out. He wasn't upset he knew sometimes you would zone out and never meant any harm by it. Focusing on washing the pots and pans you used it caught you by surprise when you felt a sting on your arm.
"Hey your boyfriend is talking to you, you should pay attention" you were unable to hear his words as all you were thinking about was him laying his hands on you. The boys watched stunned as you gripped the counter top, your knuckles turning white from your grip. You had just looked at him the stare cold, the anger visible. The boys watched as you stared at Jesse they could see fear start to take over. The it happened, before they could process what happened Jesse had red dripping from his face.
The crimson red began to stain his shirt as he held his nose. All seven boys rose from the table immediately going over to you.  They were worried about you and your hand more then Jesse who had been dripping blood through their kitchen. Jungkook was making his way to get the first aid kit when he was stopped "Jungkook oppa your not going to do anything? He just hit me!" Jungkook pulled his arm away from him only for it to be grabbed again. Jungkook tried to stay calm once again pulling his arm away and getting the first aid kit. He quickly made his way back to you although you were trying to calm down it didn't seem to be working.
"You guys are taking care of him when he hit me! I knew he was trouble I tried telling you guys you deserve better" Jesse expected you to say something to him, he didn't expect the others to. He stood shocked as they told him off, before he was escorted out by everyone. He was shocked that they kicked him out, all he wanted was their attention he wanted them to look at him the way they look at you. He stood at their door with blood dripping down his face and shirt, how could they like you so much? You were so mean, quiet, rude. He never understood why they love you. After a while of standing there here finally left debating in his head if he should try again.
Meanwhile the boys focused their attention on you and calming you down. They knew you didn't like Jesse, they only tolerated him because they didn't want to come off as mean or rude. You finally calmed down and explained you would never blame them for this. The rest of your day was spent in bed squished between seven giants who loved you dearly.
272 notes · View notes
bangtanloverboys · 2 years
Text
no masters or kings // myg
Tumblr media
summary - the high prince of lun was an enigma to you, consistenly making a fool of himself in society, earning the nickname ‘the foolish prince.’ as his personal valet, you knew he was anything but. you questioned him time and time again, asking him why he behaved so. yoongi would respond plainly, but you failed to see the true answer hidden behind his eyes
pairing - prince!yoongi x manservant!reader
genre - fluff, minor angst; royalty au
word count - 8.6k
warnings - historical inaccuracies, reader is oblivious to yoongi’s flirtations, kissing, implied homophobia, implied sex, minor character death, mourning, history would say they were very good friends
author’s note - i wanted this to be outduring pride month but unfortunately i couldn’t meet that deadline. but it’s finally here! i hope you enjoy! also this is a spin off of until i see you again. it’s not necessary that you read it to get context of it, but i do suggest it!
Tumblr media
For generations, your family has worked in the castle for the royal family of Lun. Long before you started working there, it was implemented into your brain to never, under any circumstance talk to or look at the High Family. They were the keepers of the kingdom, and as nothing but a lowly servant, you were not worthy of meeting their gaze. Your family though worked in the kitchens, far from all the royal chambers. It was unlikely you’d ever meet them. But that raised one flaw: you didn’t know what they looked like. So when the day you quite literally ran into the High Prince, you had no idea who he was
It happened when you were fourteen. You’d been carrying two chicken cages towards the kitchen when from behind, a boy, probably a little over than you, ran into you, causing you to drop the cages and the chickens springing free. You glowered at him, so annoyed with what he’d done, that you failed to notice the clothes he wore, the finest silks covered with chicken feathers. 
“God, what are you stupid!? Watch where you’re going-!” The look of shock on his face as you cursed at him did not register until one of the butlers came up behind you and slammed a gloved hand over your mouth.
“Terribly sorry, Your Highness,” the man apologized for you as he began pulling you away. Your eyes widened as you realized who exactly you were shouting at. He was either going to have your head or be sacked, but not after the butler beat you half to death because of your brash action. “Allow me to punish the boy for your sake.”
“No.” He held up his hand, immediately ceasing the butler’s actions. “It was my fault, I deserved it.” The prince admitted, his eyes not once ever leaving you. “I apologize, I did not look where I was going. Allow me to help you catch the chickens.”
Both you and the butler stared at the prince in bewilderment (you more so on the fact he was a prince and he also apologized, but also the fact he was offering to help). But the butler told him not to, saying you would do it and he should carry on with his day. Prince Yoongi took another careful look at you again, before asking for your name. 
“Y/N, Your Highness,” you said with a bow of your head.
“Y/N,” he repeated the name, a smile playing on his lips. “Again, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in the future.” 
You stared at him in silence as he walked back towards the palace, still trying to wrap your mind around what had just happened. However you couldn’t think much longer on it as the older man smacked you upside the head, telling you to catch the chickens before storming off elsewhere. You thought that would’ve been the last you’d ever see of the High Prince, but you were wrong.
The very next morning, you were summoned by the Head Housekeeper, saying that Prince Yoongi had personally asked for you to work under him now as his valet. 
At first it was hard to adjust to the sudden and drastic change, going from wearing dirty rags to a fitted suit that had been provided for you. You were even given a room in the servants quarters (your family had been thrilled about that, saying you were moving up in the world). 
Then there was the prince himself. You thought working for him would’ve been vigorous or challenging, but Yoongi was anything but. Not once did he ever scold you, hit you, or tell you off. If you were unsure what exactly he meant, which happened an awful lot in the beginning, he would explain it to you. He was kind, unimaginably so. Part of you couldn’t believe a man could be so nice, especially to a servant. Yet here he was.
As the years flew by, the two of you became somewhat friends. The prince being only a year older than you and being around each other for hours at a time, you grew surprisingly close. He would ask you questions about your life, your family, and would listen intently to your answers. The prince would even remember and check in whenever you mentioned something wrong in your family. Never before had anyone paid such close attention to you before.
Normally, one wouldn’t call such kindness strange. But he was royalty. The heir to the Lun throne. One would’ve expected him to be ruthless and strong, uncaring of mere servants’ lives like his father and his father before him. Yet here he was, kind as ever.
However, it wasn’t until the prince had turned twenty-one had you begun to notice more peculiar habits. For you see, after Yoongi’s birthday, his parents grew a bit more impatient to have him marry, so every social season, they’d send him off to attend some ball every other night to try and meet with all the eligible young ladies of society. It shouldn’t be that hard for him to find a wife, especially considering his good looks and status as High Prince. But year after year, he would return with no lady in mind. 
The King and Queen would send him across the kingdoms, to different family members and other royal households for him to find a suitable wife. Being his personal servant, you went with him on those occasions, sometimes even working the parties. Each time without fail, you’d see him either purposefully avoiding the ladies or self-sabotaging himself (‘tripping’ over himself and spilling champagne down a young girl’s dress, stepping on the toes of another when he had to dance, sneezing uncontrollably to get them to back away). 
“Sir, I know this isn’t my place to say but. . . why do you do that?” You found yourself asking him one night after a ball, helping him out of his clothing. 
“Do what?”
“Sneeze, trip over yourself, pretend to be a terrible dancer,” you listed off. “I’ve seen you dance before, you’re incredible. The king and queen will be furious with you if you return home without a fianceé, again.”
Yoongi smiled at your words, as if you had just made a joke the two of you shared, only you were left out of it. “Y/N, have you ever considered that maybe I don’t want a wife?”
His words had you frowning, “No, Your Highness. But your parents-”
“Can’t force me to get married,” he cut you off. “Even if they tried to arrange something, the gossip around me won’t stop them coming, but it would at least make them stop and think.” And with that, he went to bed. 
That was five years ago now, and still the High Prince remained unwed. Since then his parents had all but given up on trying to find a match for their son; but that didn’t stop any of the young ladies from trying to woo him. Time and time again, you’d ask why he would behave as so. Each time he would always look at you, an unreadable glimmer in his eyes as he smiled at you, telling you again that he did not want a wife. 
One day, whilst you were polishing the prince’s boots, a knock was at the door. Not looking up from his book, Yoongi called for them to enter and a dark haired servant peaked his head into the room.
“Your Highness, the king wishes to see you in his chambers.” 
With a sigh, Yoongi shut his book, placing it on the table. “I’ll be back in a moment,” he said to you as he followed the manservant out of his room and down the hall. That was another strange thing the prince had always done, he would always excuse himself from you or tell you when to return. At first you assumed that was just a royal thing, but once you started to work more around them you realized it wasn’t that. 
Boots all polished and returned to its rightful place, you began to pick up and reorganize Yoongi’s room. While he was a fairly neat person, even a prince managed to make a mess of his room from time to time. You were tossing his dirty laundry into a sack when he returned, slamming his door shut. Cautiously, you looked over to the prince over your shoulder, who was pacing back and forth in the entry of his room.
“Highness? Are you alright-?”
“My father, he’s. . .” Yoongi paused for a moment, trying to gather his words. “He’s sending me away for the season. Probably another attempt to find me married,” he chuckled humorously.
You nodded slowly at his words, but the explanation didn’t ease the growing tension in the room.
“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” You frowned as you tighten your grip on the sack.
“My father and his. . . insistence for me to marry. For me to have a wife. What would you do if your father was like that?” Yoongi clarified, looking directly into your eyes. It always felt weird when he met your gaze, those dark eyes looking into yours, stirring up something warm deep in your chest.
“I wouldn’t know,” you answered honestly. “My father doesn’t care for me to marry. Besides, I’m too busy looking after you.” You added on, light heartedly. The prince’s lips twitched for a moment at your words. “So we’re leaving for the upcoming social season?”
“Unfortunately so,” Yoongi huffed. “You’d think my father would’ve caught enough hints by now that no woman in the seven kingdoms would think to marry me, but he still persists.”
“You don’t think you’ll ever find a woman you’d want to marry?” You asked as you shouldered the sack, ready to drop it off with the laundry maids. “Surely you’d want to marry at some point, Your Highness.”
There was that glimmer again, in his eyes. Normally it gives off a teasing aura, a little mischievous when he told you time and time again he didn’t want a wife. This time it lacked those qualities. Instead looking sad and pained at your words. You swallowed thickly as you suddenly felt strange as the prince looked at you with such emotion.
“I don’t want a wife. Not now, nor ever.”
You left the prince to his own devices after that, a strange fluttering sensation growing in your stomach. 
The following morning, you rushed back to his chambers though, reading his clothes and his things for the trip. This year, the king was sending Yoongi off to some southern kingdom you failed to catch the name of. You packed away the prince’s things; his clothes, books, and other necessities you’d gotten used to packing over the years. It took you by surprise at how quiet Yoongi was though, normally while you packed his things, he lamented to you over how boring it was going to be and thought up new ways to keep the new and desperate mothers away from him. No, this time around, he was quiet. His eyes never left you as you packed his things. You knew this because you could feel his gaze burning into the back of your neck, but anytime you turned to look, Yoongi’s eyes were elsewhere. 
Before the morning was over, Yoongi’s carriage was off, you on a horse following beside it. It would take a few days to reach the southern kingdom, and it was by order of the king that you reach it on time (no matter how much Yoongi protested). When you first started accompanying Yoongi at these far away balls, you hated traveling. You barely left the citadel as a child, so to see new towns and countries was nerve wracking. But after a while, you had grown used to the sore bottom of riding the horse, or stale bread served at inns. You kept note of anything interesting or foregin that you’d never seen before, wanting to account the story back to your family at home. 
By the time you’d arrived at the capital of the southern kingdom it was late evening, meaning you wouldn’t be able to sleep until everything for Yoongi was set up in his rooms. Unfortunately that meant it would be a while until you’d have a meal to yourself, or sleep for that matter. 
You followed the head butler escorted you and a few other servants up towards the rooms where the prince would be staying. It was a lavish room, truly. Beautiful patterns carpets layered the floor, you barely had enough time to count them as your attention was drawn to other parts of the room. Paintings of oceanscapes and sea shores lined the walls, just above the large bed. And large open windows, giving a perfect view of the far off sea. 
The butler said that the servants quarters were down by the kitchens and to head there once you’d finished unloading Prince Yoongi’s things. With a sigh, you began unpacking the trunks full of the prince’s silken clothes and books he had insisted on bringing with. It wasn’t until after sundown did Yoongi arrive at his chambers.
“What are you still doing here?” He frowned as you placed one of the last of his clothes in the wardrobe.
“Unpacking, Your Highness. You took a lot of things with you.”
“I suppose that is my faut,” he chuckled humorlessly. “But it’s late, have you eaten yet?”
You opened your mouth to tell him you did, but your stomach betrayed you, growling loudly. You flushed in embarrassment as the prince just smiled at you.
“Go eat something, Y/N. I’ll be fine.”
“But Highness, you need to get ready for bed-”
“And I’m capable enough to do that on my own,” Yoongi countered, meeting your eyes. There was a small smile playing on his lips as he spoke, it was an expression you’ve sworn you’ve seen on his face before but it felt as if you were seeing it for the first time. “You’re excused. I’ll see you in the morning.”
You blinked at him, trying your best to ignore the strange tingling sensation in your stomach. “T-Thank you, Your Highness.” You gave a bow as you made your way out of his room.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
Dismissed, you made your way over towards the kitchens, grabbing a few morsels of bread and cheese before making your way towards the room you’d be staying in. One thing about going to all these cities with the prince always meant new and uncomfortable beds. The extra rooms in the servants quarters for some reason always had extra thin mattresses, you always fell asleep on them no problem, but you always awoke to a new kink in your neck. 
In your temporary chamber, you sat down on the bed, eating up your poor excuse of supper, thinking over what events Yoongi might be pulled into this social season. One ball you knew was coming up was going to be at the conservatory, held by a nearby viscountess. Knowing the prince, there was no doubt he would start sneezing, blaming it on the blooming flowers.
As a servant, you could never attend them as a guest, only you’d work the balls, even then they would be dreadfully boring watching everyone dance. But Yoongi was your only solace, watching him make a fool of himself over and over again. You’d hear whispering from the scandalized mamas and other eligible young ladies of the city, remarking how such a handsome man could be such an oaf. It took all your willpower not to laugh at the gossip. 
You laid down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, your mind not drifting away from Yoongi. Part of you couldn’t wait to see it, but at the same time, you still failed to understand him. His excuse of not wanting to marry never made sense. It was always ‘I do not want a wife’. That was his phrasing. Not that he didn’t want to marry, but not a wife. It didn’t make sense, the only option for marriage for him was a wife. Then there was the way he looked at you while he said it. How his dark eyes bored into yours, staring at you for what felt like hours, but only a few mere moments before he looked away, disappointed. It made you think there was some ulterior message behind it, one you wish you could understand. 
You shook your head, trying to rid yourself of thoughts of the prince. It wasn’t your business as to why he behaved like he did. But as your eyes fell shut, your dreams were filled with nothing but Yoongi’s dark stare.
The next day, you were basically Yoongi’s shadow all day as he attended breakfast and wandered around the castle grounds, familiarizing himself with the gilded halls. Already you were hearing gossip from lady’s maids and other staff about him, apparently society had been dubbing him The Foolish Prince. If it bothered Yoongi, he didn’t let it show, keeping his head held high as he went over the many formal greetings as visiting royalty. 
There was one place Yoongi never ever failed to find, no matter wherever they stayed was the library. He would spend hours in there, finding all the books he hadn’t read yet, piling them up in his arms, hoarding them all to himself as he read the day away. 
“Y/N,” he called out your name as you wandered away from him, marveling at the dozens of books that lined the shelves.
“Yes, Your Highness?”
“Come here, I’d like to show you something.”
Retracing your steps, you came back to where Yoongi had seated himself, in his hand a book labeled Metamorphoses, the title not ringing a bell. Many times Yoongi had set aside a couple books for you, wanting your opinion or your thoughts, but you rarely had time to actually sit down and read them. 
“You know the flower hyacinth?”
You nodded, having seen the flower a multitude of different times in palace gardens. 
“According to the Greeks, the flower came about from Apollo mourning his lover, turning the spilled blood into its petals,” Yoongi said, paraphrasing the mythos.
“Ah, how kind of him to remember her like that.”
“Him.”
You frowned. “I beg your pardon, Your Highness?”
“Hyacinthus was a man.” His eyes did not leave you as he explained further, “The Ancient Greeks were. . . more open, so to speak. So their gods having male lovers was not out of sorts for them.”
“Oh,” was all you could say. You were not very well educated in ancient philosophies and civilizations, so you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by the revelation, the tips of your ears burning hotly. The intensity of his stare didn’t help either, as if he was searching for something in your eyes. But you didn’t know what.
In the blink of an eye, he looked away from you, a sigh on his lips. “That is all, Y/N. I just thought you might like to learn something new, that’s all.”
“Well, thank you, Your Highness.” You bowed your head. “It was. . .” You couldn’t think of a word to describe it. Eye opening? Interesting? Scrunching your nose, you backtracked. “Thank you.”
The prince gave you a flat smile, not reaching his eyes. “You’re welcome, Y/N.”
Whatever happened that afternoon, Yoongi did not bring it up again. And with the Conservatory Ball in a matter of days, any and all servants were recruited to help ready the event, so you weren’t really able to see him unless he called for you. Which surprisingly, he did not. Often he would attempt to call you away, saying he needed help with something or other, pulling you away from your work. But for the past three days, he’s only ever summoned you for breakfast and supper, bringing you his meal and then bidding you goodbye. You tried not to let it distract you, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt at his sudden distance. 
“I’ll say, that Prince Yoongi fellow is an odd one.”
Hearing the prince’s name pulled you from your thoughts. Trying not to be too obvious, you turned into what gossip the maids were passing around now.
“All he does is hole himself up in the library or the gardens. Did you hear what he told Lady Jeong?” Another lady whispered.
“What?”
“So apparently the lady has been trying her damndest to get the prince to look her way, Lord knows why she wants to marry the Foolish Prince. But she asked if he could show her around the gardens, and he told her ‘if she’s lived here all her life, she should not need a guide to the gardens’”
You bit back a snicker, not wanting to give away your eavesdropping. Definitely sounded like something the prince would say. 
“How did Lady Jeong react?”
“She couldn’t! She clammed up and walked away, poor girl.” The two maids shared a laugh. “Ah but honestly, I don’t know what anyone sees in attempting to woo the prince. He’s such an addle pate!”
“Ah Nabi, you forget. He’s a prince! People tend to look past such flaws when trying to find a husband.”
“Fair enough, and with that rumor going around, I wouldn’t be surprised if suddenly many ladies come back ‘round.”
“Rumor?” You turned to face them, internally cringing at you giving yourself up.
The two maids gave him a strange look. “The High King of Lun is reportedly ill, soon the prince will take the throne. And there’s many a lady here that would love to be queen.”
“Where did you hear this?”
She gave a vague shrug. “A couple ladies. One or two scandal sheets talked about it.” Then they walked away, leaving you stunned.
Was the king truly ill? Why did Yoongi not think to tell you? You found yourself spiraling, your body moving forward as you continued to do the work you were assigned. It wasn’t until hours later when the prince summoned you for his supper did you finally feel yourself begin to pull out of the fog. Tray of food in hand, you made your way up to his chambers. 
Yoongi never ate meals with his hosts, preferring to eat in the solidarity of his rooms. His reasoning that the formality of it all was exhausting, conversing and trying to eat. Sure there would be times when he absolutely had to join his hosts, but if it wasn’t required, he’d be hiding away in his room.
At the servant’s entrance of his room, you knocked thrice before opening the door. Yoongi was sitting on a loveseat, his legs draped over the cushions as he read a novel. “Good evening, Your Highness,” you greeted.
“Set it over by the table, please.”
You nodded, following his instruction. As you set his place, you couldn't stop your eyes from wandering over to where Yoongi sat. He did not look as if he was worried for his ill father, no. But there was something about him that you couldn’t pull away from. Your gaze started at his downcast eyes, watching as they darted across the page, absorbing the book. Then the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips as he licked his thumb, turning to the next page in the novel. You’d always known the prince was handsome, having heard it whispered amongst ladies and maids combined, but it was only now were you actually registering how beautiful he was.  
“Is something the matter, Y/N?” Yoongi’s eyes suddenly met yours.
The tips of your ears burned. “I- uh-” You dropped the silverware that was in your hands, clattering to the floor. You swore silently to yourself as you quickly scooped it up. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, my mind was. . . elsewhere.”
Shutting his book, Yoongi raised a brow at you. He stood up, walking over to you slowly. Your heartbeat was pulsing so loud in your ears you feared he would hear it if he got too close. Yoongi stopped a few feet before you, his eyes never leaving you. You averted your gaze to the floor, studying the details of his shoes. 
“Look at me, Y/N.”
Meeting the prince’s eyes, you felt as if your entire body was shaking but you did not move a muscle. Again, there was that unreadable expression in his eyes. What was he searching for, you wondered. And why you? You’ve seen the way he looked at everyone, his mother, father, ladies of the court, and so many others. But he never looked at any of them the way he looked at you. 
How long the two of you stood there, gazing at each other, you didn’t know. Only breaking away when Yoongi cleared his throat. 
“You’re excused for the rest of the evening, Y/N. Sleep well.”
“Goodnight, Your Highness.”
Something changed that night with your relationship with the prince, you couldn’t make sense of it, but between the fluttering in your gut to Yoongi’s burning stare, it was obvious nothing would ever be the same again. 
The night of the Conservatory Ball came around, and you were helping the prince into his attire for the evening. You felt like your hands were on fire as you touched him, only cooling when you finally pulled away from him. He was wearing a deep blue coat with silver epaulets dawning his shoulders, then a white cloak draped over his shoulder. He looked every bit a prince that he was. 
Once the two of you split for the night, you made your way down towards the kitchens and food prep area, following in line with the other servants to get ready for the ball. But your mind was elsewhere, thinking of nothing but the prince. Sure, before any ball you would think of any sort of self-sabotaging stunt he might pull, but tonight was different. You thought of how he would look dancing with the other young ladies, about how he might go back on his own word to marry. The thoughts left your stomach churning and your vision green. 
Shaking your mind to clear your head of Yoongi, you tried your best to focus on serving and nothing else. Walking alongside the edge of the crowds, allowing the men and women of the court to pick the small treats off your plate. 
Your plan of zoning out worked almost perfectly until there was a loud crash coming from the otherside of the ballroom, followed by a series of gasps. The music came to a stop as everyone’s head snapped in that direction. There, at the center of everyone’s attention, was Yoongi hovering over a young lady. She held a hand to her forehead as Yoongi panickingly tried to keep her conscious. 
“Can you believe it?!” 
“Miss Hyun swooned and Prince Yoongi caught her!”
“She certainly has her heart set on him.”
Your eyes darted amongst the crowd as you listened in on their whispers, only to be drowned out by the sound of applause as the prince helped the girl, Miss Hyun, back to her feet.
“Why thank you for catching me, Your Highness.” You could barely hear her airy voice as she tried to meet the prince’s eye.
“Yes, please. Go sit down and drink something, don’t want another spell,” he advised as he passed her over to an older woman, presumably her mother. The scene over, the music resumed, but everyone continued to whisper amongst themselves about what they had all just witnessed. 
With the attention no longer on Yoongi, you watched as his face turned into a slight scowl before he turned on his heel and walked out of the ballroom. Puzzled by his reaction, you turned to follow him. A few times you were stopped by other guests, picking off the remains of your tray. By the time you made it to the exit, your tray was empty. You hid the tray in a bush and followed Yoongi, not caring if the valet or some other guest saw and tried to reprimand you. 
In the halls, you could see no trace of the prince. But for some reason, you knew where he was. The library. Your suspicions were confirmed as the door was skewed open, and a low light was emanating from the room. Pushing the door open further, you peaked your head in.
“Highness?”
It was quiet for a moment before you heard his voice. “Is that you, Y/N?”
“Yes, Your Highness,” you confirmed, not yet daring to enter the room.
“Come in. . . Please.”
You slid into the room, the door clicking shut behind you. Slowly, you went further into the library, the sounds of your footsteps echoing against the shelves. With each step, you felt your chest tighten, making it hard to breathe. Once you saw the prince, not even then did it let up, only squeezing tighter. In the low light of the candle, Yoongi was practically glowing, the silver of his coat catching in the light. 
“Are you alright, Your Highness? That was. . . quite a scene.” 
At your comment, his lips pulled into a sneer. “Yes it was. I simply needed some space, away from those bloodthirsty mamas.”
You failed to stifle a chuckle at his remark, replacing the sour look on his face with a warmer expression. “I’m sorry, Highness. I should. . . I should return.” You were preparing to turn back out of the library when Yoongi’s gloved hand wrapped around your wrist. You could feel the heat of his skin through the fabric, sucking the air from your lungs completely. 
“Nonsense,” he said. “Stay, please. I would appreciate the company.”
“Okay, Your Highness.”
Yoongi inhaled a sharp breath, but smiled at your agreement. He released your wrist, leaving you mourning his touch. He stepped back, turning towards the bookshelves again. He pulled a book off the shelf, turning it over in his hands. 
As you watched him, your mind sifted over towards the maids’ gossip. “Might I ask you something, Your Highness?”
Yoongi ceased his motions. You almost thought he had turned to stone had he not turned his head towards you. “Anything.”
“It’s about your father. I’ve heard rumors of him being ill and you’re to take the throne. . . Is it true?”
The prince squared his shoulders as a solemn look fell over his face. “They are true. My father is sick. Should he not recover, I am to be king.”
“I’m. . . sorry.”
“Please don’t be.”
You furrowed your brows together. “I beg your pardon?”
“You do not have to show condolences,” Yoongi explained, folding his hands behind him. “I know that my father is not the kindest man, so I do not expect you to be upset.”
You shook your head. “No, Highness. I am not offering my condolences, but my sympathy. It cannot be easy losing a father.”
Yoongi cast his eyes to the ground. “No. . . it is not.”
Shifting in your spot, you continued. “Is that why your father wanted you to join this season? To see you marry before he passes?”
He shrugged. “He more so wishes for grandchildren, to know the line is secure. It’s no matter though, it’s unlikely I’ll find a bride in time. And after that, it would be no matter.”
“Miss Hyun would beg to differ, you did catch her when she felt faint.”
The prince scoffed. “The nerve of these ladies, feigning a swoon-”
“It was pretend?” 
Yoongi blinked at you. “Yes. . . it’s a tactic to try and entrap unsuspecting suitors. Do you not know?”
You shook your head. “I’ve never interacted with an interested woman before. I wouldn’t even know if she would be interested in the first place. Besides, all my time focuses on you, so it’s not even likely I have time to find a wife.”
The prince stared at you for a moment, before laughing to himself. 
The reaction was puzzling. “Is something funny, Your Highness?”
“You cannot tell when a woman is interested?”
The tips of your ears burned in embarrassment as you shook your head. “I fail to understand how you find it humorous.”
Yoongi waved his hand as he ceased in his laughter. “I’m sorry, I do not mean to laugh but, I can’t help but find that. . . relieving of sorts?”
You don’t think you’ve ever been more confused in your life, rivaling the morning when you found out he asked you to be his personal servant. “How so. . ?”
Yoongi met your eyes and suddenly you felt like you could no longer breathe again. You stood there frozen as he slowly walked over towards you. He stopped just in front of you, his eyes flickering down to your hand. In all the years you’d known the prince and served him, he never once acted hesitantly, always certain in his actions. But now his fingers reached out tentatively, gloved hands enveloping your own. 
“Do you know why I wanted you to be my valet all those years ago?” His voice was soft as he spoke.
Unable to trust your voice, you shook your head.
“Because when you cursed me out, I was taken aback. No one had ever dared to speak to me that way, and you could not leave my mind. For hours on end I was utterly consumed by the kitchen boy that dared to scold me. And I knew that I just. . . I had to have you around.” The prince’s fingers entangled themselves into yours. “I couldn’t understand why, but in time I grew to realize that I wanted nothing more than your attention. No other could occupy my mind as you had. For years, I’ve tried to drop hints, give way to my affection, to let you in. I thought you did not feel the same.” He paused as he took a shuddering breath, as if the mere thought was too much for him to bear. “So to hear you say you cannot tell when a woman is interested when I have, in fact, seen many a maid try to capture your attention, I can’t help but feel relief. But now my thoughts and feelings are out in the open, I can’t help but ask now if you feel at all the same?”
Yoongi met your eyes once again, and you could see the fear in his eyes. Expressing his true feelings. Feelings he held for you. The prince’s ever constant response of “I do not want a wife” echoed in your ears, finally made sense. 
“You do not have to return them. If you so wish, I can pay you handsomely and you and your family can move far away from Lun, never to work again in your life. But I need you to know that I will never ever stop caring for you. My chest aches when you are near, every bit of my soul wants nothing but you.”
The whole world felt like it had frozen around you. The flame of the candle stopped flickering, the distant sound of the orchestra faded away into silence. All that was left in the world was the prince and you. 
“I-I don’t know how to place my feelings,” you started, your eyes focusing on anything but the prince’s piercing gaze. “But all I do know is I feel that similar ache. I feel as if I cannot breathe when you are near sometimes. I did not know what you make of it but knowing you feel similar, it brings me. . . joy?”
Yoongi’s other hand came to cup your cheek. He leaned in, so close you could feel his breath fan across your lips. “Say it, please. Say you want me too.”
“Your Highness-”
“No. None of that. My name, call me my name, please Y/N. Grant me that.”
“Yoongi.” The name felt foreign on your tongue, but the way the prince reacted, groaning quietly as he held himself back from closing the gap. “I do. I want you too.”
And just like that, he leaned in, fully pressing his lips against yours. You could taste the champagne he had drank earlier as his lips danced with yours. Yoongi dropped your hand, wrapping it around your waist, pulling you in closer until there was no space between you, but still he wanted you closer. Unsure what to do with your hands, you clung onto his biceps, using that as your anchor to reality. That truly, this was happening. 
It wasn’t until the two of you needed to breathe did you finally pull away from each other. Both of you panting, breaths mindling with each other as Yoongi refused to let you go.
“Stay by my side, forever. I do not think I can live without you,” Yoongi whispered.
“As you wish.” And you sealed the promise with a kiss.
From that moment forward, neither you nor Yoongi spent any time apart. He all but refused to allow anyone else to order you away from him. And for the most part it worked, the two of you were left alone and no one dared to try and say you were needed elsewhere. The two of you spent the days in the prince’s bed, your head on his lap as he read to you memoirs of far off countries and tales of fiction. 
The only time you were away from one another was for balls. As visiting royalty, he was expected to always make an appearance, but never did he dance. He made his rounds about the room, complementing each and every young lady he was introduced to. A sick knot of jealousy twisted in your gut with each kiss he’d press against a delicately gloved hand, but it would easily melt away as his gaze would always look to you as you stood in the far off part of the room, serving drinks and finger foods on a tray. 
Finally when it was time to return home to Lun, it took every ounce of your concentration to give away your excitement. Yoongi, on the other hand, remained level headed, no doubt from all his time learning to become king. But you could see he was equally as excited to be leaving, judging from the small smile in his lips whenever he met your eyes. By the time you’d returned home to the palace, Yoongi all but pulled you along into his chambers, locking the door behind him. 
“Another successful season, wouldn’t you say?” The prince sighed as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Successful?” You raised a brow. 
“Yes. I successfully managed to avoid all the young and eligible debutantes of the southern kingdom. And I now have you.” He traced down the side of your face with a finger. “I would call that a success, would you not?”
“Well when you put it like that, Your Highness-”
Yoongi scoffed as he shut you up with a kiss. Slowly, you had become more adept at the action, learning with soft and slow touches what made a kiss good or bad. Taking careful steps, you lead the prince over towards the bed, until the back of his knees hit the side, sending you both tumbling down onto the mattress in a fit of giggles. 
“I was a fool,” you sighed as your laughter calmed down. 
“Whatever do you mean?” Yoongi frowned.
“That I did not catch on to your hints, that I did not realize my own feelings for you until as of late. Should I go on?” You laughed, listing off the reasons. 
“Then we are a match made in heaven,” Yoongi said as he leaned in close. “The Foolish Prince and his Fool.”
With a roll of your eyes, you closed the gap, slotting your mouth over his. It was slow and lazy, but did not lack any of the passion you felt for one another. Yoongi licked at the seam of your lips, begging you to open, to which you happily obliged. You found your hands wandering beneath his shirts, undoing the buttons you had helped fasten earlier that day. You needed to feel his skin against yours, to hold him closer than you ever could’ve imagined. The prince followed your lead, stripping himself of his clothes, you followed after. Neither of you separated from one another until all either of you knew was the taste of each other’s skin. 
You wish you could say the day after your first night with the prince was something out of a fairytale, waking up to the sun pouring through an open window as the bird sung you awake. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. A pounding at the door had both of you sitting up in bed, not even allowing a moment for you to admire your lover in the morning air. 
“Highness! It is your father!” A voice shouted from the otherside. 
You glanced over to Yoongi, whose face was emotionless as he scrambled into his clothes. 
“I’ll be but a moment,” he said, sliding into his boots before running over to the door and down the hall. 
You blinked once. Twice. Three times before finally pushing yourself out of bed. If someone was to walk into the prince’s chambers with your state of undress, surely people would talk. So quickly, you pulled on your clothes that were still scattered around the floor. As Yoongi’s valet, no one would think twice of you in his rooms, so you decided to remain in there until he returned. But unable to remain idle as you wait, you began to unpack his trunks from his time in the southern kingdom. Despite the prince having told you that you no longer have to continue to act as his servant in the privacy of his chambers, you simply could not keep still. Especially after such a rude awakening this morning. 
An hour passed before Yoongi returned, his face solemn. Alarm bells were reigning off in your mind as you rushed over to him.
“Yoongi? Are you alright? What of your father?” 
“He. . . he passed in the night. . .” His voice was barely above a whisper.
The air was sucked from your lungs. From all your time as Yoongi’s valet, you’ve been in the king’s presence dozens of times. Even though you’ve since learned of the king’s poor health, you did not think he would die so soon. 
Yoongi’s eyes were staring off into the distance, looking far beyond you. “I’m to be king,” he said. 
Gently, you placed a hand on his shoulder, urging him to look at you. His head snapped in your direction, his eyes glassy as he held back tears. You wrapped your arms around your lover, pulling him into a hug. Yoongi was stiff at first, before melting into the embrace, burying his head in the crook of your neck. The two of you stood there for a moment, until you felt the collar of your shirt moisten against your skin, then you noticed the small shaking of Yoongi’s shoulders as he silently sobbed into your embrace. You did your best to soothe him, tracing invisible circles into his back until his body ceased trembling. 
Slowly, Yoongi peeled himself off your body, his cheeks puffy and eyes red from crying. He met your gaze for a moment, opening his mouth to say something when there was another knock at the door. 
Abruptly, Yoongi snapped his head in the direction of the door. “Yes?” He asked, his voice full of authority, as if he wasn’t sobbing a mere moment ago. 
“Your H-Majesty, we need to begin the arrangements for your coronation. As well as your father’s funeral processes.” A meek voice responded on the other side of the door. 
“Of course,” he said, quietly to himself. Yoongi looked back down to you, took your hand in his and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “I’m sorry. Thank you. I shall. . . I shall see you tonight?” His eyes were silently pleading with you, begging you to say yes.
“Of course, Yoongi.”
The following days, you rarely see the prince- no. The king. Yoongi was the king now. He was busy with his own coronation, especially after his father’s funeral. Not like there was much time for you to even see him anyways, having been occupied with packing up Yoongi’s things and bringing them to the King’s chambers, now his. 
The King’s chambers were more of a small wing than a simple suite. Three large connecting rooms, all nearly double the size of Yoongi’s former chambers. You busied yourself fixing up the rooms, switching out books and paintings, clothes and furnishings. 
The only time you were able to see each other was well after nightfall, when Yoongi excused his advisors away from him and you were free to slip in through the servants entrance. When he saw you, the young king wrapped you in his arms, refusing to let you go until you finally managed to break away.
“I can’t stand you being so far from me for so long,” Yoongi confessed as the two of you laid on the large bed that was in the center of the bedchamber, covered in dozens of feather pillows and silk sheets. “To see you in court with me, have you by my side.”
“Unfortunately, I hold no title, Your Majesty,” you reminded him. “I have no reason to be seen by your side in court,” you sighed, turning your head to meet his gaze.
There was an unreadable glimmer in his eyes. “But what if you did?”
“I beg your pardon?”
Yoongi shot up to his knees, turning to you on the bed. “What if you did hold a title? I am king, I could grant you that.”
You blinked up at him, trying to process his words. “Yoongi, I know nothing about holding a title. Or managing land, let alone polite society-”
“I could teach you! I could make you. . . Grand Duke. My closest advisor. You’ve served by my side for years, no one would think otherwise,” Yoongi explained, taking your hands in his. “If I had it my way, I would marry you and have you as my consort. But unfortunately, this is all I can offer you. I implore you to accept it.”
The air was all but sucked from your lungs as Yoongi pleaded his case. “You would marry me?” Was all you found yourself saying.
With a roll of his eyes, he sighed, squeezing your hands tightly. “I know no one can know the true extent of our relationship, but I need you by my side always, or I fear I may never know another’s embrace. Because you are all I want. If I cannot have you, I do not want any other. I love you, Y/N. You need not say it in return, but I want- no need you to know it.”
You stared at Yoongi, unable to move- unable to speak, watching him silently as he searched your eyes for any reaction. He loved you. However long he had felt such a way, you knew you felt it too. You were in love.
Before he could mistake your silence as rejection, you surged forward. Pulling your hands from his grasp, you held his head in your hands, fearing that if you let him go, he would dissipate, revealing this all to be but a dream. Yoongi was frozen before he leaned into you, kissing you back with so much fierce passion that heat spread throughout your body. Finally you release your hold on the king, who was smiling at you.
“I suppose that means you accept my offer, My Lord?”
The use of a title for you felt unfamiliar, but you smiled and nodded in return. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
The following days after his coronation, Yoongi put his plan into action. Already he was teaching you the ways of polite society, but as it turned out, after serving at so many balls and dinner parties, you already had a grasp of the basics. But learning the ways of a kingdom, Yoongi assured you that you had better input on how the commonwealth felt more than anyone else on the court. 
You were outside the council chambers when Yoongi announced he was to raise your position to Grand Duke, his closest advisor. You nervously fiddled with the new clothes Yoongi had given you, rubbing your hands against the satin trousers. You flinched when the room broke out into arguments, shouting, and pleading with their new king to reconsider, but then the room went dead quiet. When you were beckoned into the council chambers, you noted that everyone at the table had a sour look on their face. 
At Yoongi’s right hand was an empty chair, not as ornate as Yoongi’s but more decorated than the other council members and advisors’ chairs were. You sat down beside him, keeping your face stern and still as possible, not to give away any sign of weakness or doubt that the position of Grand Duke was yours and yours alone. Nothing could change the king’s mind about that.
There certainly was plenty of ruckus amongst the servants at your sudden promotion and entrance into society, but they said nothing (at least not to your face). Your things were moved from your quarters in the servants chambers up towards the Grand Duke’s suite. It was customary that the King’s chambers be connected to two other suites, the Queen’s and the Grand Duke’s, for these were the only people he would need access to at any point in the day. But despite gaining your own suite, it was left completely unlived in as Yoongi outright refused to sleep with you further than at an arm's distance. 
For the first few mornings of sleeping beside him after your rise in station, you were the first to rise, unable to lose the habit of rising with the sun. But now there was no reason for it, you had no chores to do, no balls to help prepare for. Instead you used the time to watch the sunlight bleed through the heavy curtains, painting your lover in a beautiful golden light. 
Unable to contain yourself, you pressed kissing along Yoongi’s shoulder and neck, rousing him from sleep as you peppered him with affection. Yoongi grumbled as he turned over in bed, facing you. 
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” you murmured against his skin.
“Mm, good morning, My Lord,” Yoongi hummed as he pulled you closer to him, your chest against his. “What time is it?”
“Just after sunrise,” you admitted as you kissed his cheek.
He let out a groan at your words. “You must drop that awful habit, I do not know how you managed to rise for so long.”
“Well I had you as motivation,” you smiled as he turned his head, allowing you to plant one final kiss upon his lips. “Besides we have much to do today, the prince and princess of Philos are visiting today. Isn’t he one of your oldest friends?”
“Bah.” Yoongi grabbed hold of you, swiftly flipping your positions so he now laid on top of you. “Seokjin won’t care. And besides, they won’t be here for hours. Meaning we have plenty of time to spend lounging about in bed,” he said as he pressed kisses along your neck.
“You’re insatiable!” You laughed, smiling up at him as he removed himself from your neck. 
“Only for you, my love. Only for you.”
358 notes · View notes
Text
All yours (MYG)
Pairing: Min Yoongi x male reader
Summary: “How does it feel,” he asks, curious and maybe also trying to distract you. “It's….a lot.” “A good lot?” You breathe. “Yeah.”
Words: 1099
Tags: porn with lots of feelings, cumplay, first sex, a little dirty talk, penetration
Warnings: 18+, smut, don’t read if you aren’t into cum, I’m not sure Yoongi has a dick in this but reader certainly does
Read on A03
56 notes · View notes
frieschan · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
QUERENCIA, chapter 2
(n.) where one feels home ; the place where you are your most authentic self
Tumblr media
pairing - hybrid! ot7 x bunny hybrid! male! reader
genre - 18+, college au, hybrid au, fluff, eventual angst, eventual smut, humour
summary - you, a rabbit hybrid away from home to study, run into a group of surprisingly friendly and calm (also very attractive) predators who are a pack and live together suddenly run into your life like a bulldozer. the dull days of your life may turn into days of joy and laughter, or will the days turn into gloom and a sad everafter?
warnings (this chapter) - another one with mentions of some dark themes..
word count - 2.4k
prev // masterlist // next
Tumblr media
Comfort. All you felt was comfort at this moment, you felt arms wrapped around you in a loving and caring way, a calming yet indistinguishable scent flowing to your nose.
You welcomed it, all this felt so right. You could see the kiss of the sun on your skin with a light beeze of the wind hitting you, you wished this could stay forever.
It felt as if you were complete at this moment. You felt so full and loved, so happy and like you were in heaven. This was how life is supposed to be, no worries, no doubt, just love and warmth all throughout.
Suddenly you felt a light brush of lips on your cheek and as you were about to turn around-
Everything had vanished.
You were now left empty, confused, even bamboozled as you open your eyes to the light colored walls of your room.
It was a dream? Damn it, of course it was a dream, you're a single prune with not a mate in sight. Since when did you get THIS touch starved? It's only been around.. 2-3 years since your last relationship?
You had never thought about it much before, you had your mind on other things like family, studies, ice-skating, ballet, and a couple of other things.
Never having an ounce of time to even just oogle and admire other guys on campus had finally taken a toll on you and you were starting to realize it. Maybe Jimin and Jungkook might just be your starvation.
The two are handsome hybrids that are torally your type, surely a small admiration wouldn't hurt anyone? As long as you have your boundaries set, it shouldn't go wrong.
You finally decided to check your alarm clock, it was 8:24 on a Sunday. Having a day-off to just relax and catch up on some shows shouldn’t be too bad, you already studied your butt off the night before yesterday just to be ahead for a few more lessons to remove some of the load. Yeah, you kinda do deserve this 'all about you day'.
Grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you turn it on to be greeted with a few messages from two new people. Opening up the first one, you are greeted with:
Kookie💭at 9:23pm: hey bun-hyung, just got home
Kookie💭at 9:24pm: already asleep? Ballet took a lot out of you lol, sleep well sweets
Kookie💭at 7:34 am: gm, just woke up for my jog, you down for some lunch in the new bistro at around 12? Jimin is gonna come and maybe another one of our guys.
You smiled at the way he remembered about texting you when they got home, the nicknames and invitation was what got a lot of your attention though. Finally deciding to reply to him:
Y/N🐰 at 8:29 am: good mornin' ♡ just woke up, yes I'd love to go out for lunch! Sounds like it'd be a date tbh hahah
Kookie💭 at 8:29 am: hmm? Would you like it to be only us?
Y/N🐰 at 8:29 am: so playful, wolfyboy!!!
Kookie💭 at 8:30 am: very cute sweets, but the lads are really lookin' forward to seein you
Y/N🐰 at 8:30 am: who might this other fellow be? 👀👀
Kookie💭 at 8:30 am: it's a surprise bun, dress smart casual or semi-formal by the way.
A guy that knows you might struggle with knowing what to wear and then telling you the theme on what to wear.. now that's just attractive. He'd sweep anyone off their feet.
In honesty, you were quite surprised at how comfortable Jungkook had gotten with you, not that you minded but you took him as someone who would only do the bare minimum to be polite and friendly to strangers.
You decided to check on what the feline boy could have texted you:
Jimin🐈‍⬛ at 9:26 pm: Kook and I got home safe! Hope the rest of your night is good.
Jimin🐈‍⬛ at 8:34 am: I heard I'll be seeing a bunny later in the afternoon? 😏
You laughed under your breath as you read the message, seems like news spreads fast in their house.
Y/N🐰 at 8:34 am: Indeed, a cute bunny boy will be spotted at the bistro!
Surely flirting here and there wouldn't be too bad? You really couldn't help it, the two were two of the most socially magnetic people you've met and you were honestly hoping a strong friendship would come out of this. Well, not like your heart slightly yearned for a little more than than the title as friends but you are getting a bit ahead of yourself. The love-starved part of your brain taking in the slightest bit.
Now that you had plans to go out in the afternoon, you decided getting out of bed right now would be the best option based on what time it already is. Already thinking about what could be a really good breakfast before you do your whole morning routine since everybody has to take care of themselves always.
Tumblr media
11 pm was finally rolling around the corner so you decided it was time to shower, get changed, and get ready, the holy trio before going out.
Since Jungkook had mentioned that you could dress semi-formal or smart casual, you had opted for an outfit that perfectly suited the activity in mind. The outfit consist of an oversized gray sweater on top a white dress shirt, color out of course. You wore dar brown slacks with a black belt and your set of black men’s heeled dress shoes, you were dressing to impress with this outfit. Boosting your self confidence isn't gonna hurt anyone.
After putting everything on and very very very light makeup, mostly just to hide your eyebags, you were finally ready to go out to the bistro. The bistro in question not exactly suitable for a walk, since the distance between the bistro itself and your home was quite far, you decided to go through the metro and commute like a good citizen (and non-driving student)
After a few staircases underground and into the underground metro station, you were in the train on the same route to your bistro. The ride was going to be a bit long, being around 20-30 minutes so you decided to take a look at your surroundings as you leaned on a pole in the train.
Looking around, you found a few hybrids and non-hybrids conversing, them seemingly being in one big group but that wasn't what caught your attention, what caught your attention was a lone gray wolf hybrid sitting on one of the seats.
Noone had taken the seats next to him as if they were scared but what the wolf was currently doing was far from intimidating, same goes for the aura he was emitting. Looking at him, you judged him to be close to 6 feet, with nice and smooth looking black hair that reached his nape. He had rosy lips with sharp eyes as if they were of a dragons but all his attention was on the book in his hands. He was dressed in a comfortable yet smart casual attire, with the color scheme being browns and grays.
You could've looked at him for ages, he looked very peaceful yet gorgeous at the same time. Something in you felt like it wanted to gravitate towards him, want to talk to him maybe. So you did, being an impulsive person you are.
You took the seat next to him and took a small peek to what he could be reading. When you felt his eyes on you, you looked up from the book and to his face. His beauty upclose was completely unmatched comapred to your view earlier.
He greeted you with a soft and polite smile, not really minding the fact that you sat next to him but more so confused on the reason why.
"Ah, you just seemed like a very warm person to talk to, I hope I'm not disturbing you too much, I'm Y/N, a bunny hybrid" You start the conversation, sticking your hand towards him even while sitting down.
The wolf maneuvered his book to be stable enough to be held on one hand before taking your hand and shaking it.
"I'm Namjoon, a Gray wolf, and no you're not, I find your presence quite nice actually." He said while closing his book and setting it on his lap, setting all his attention on you.
"Where are you headed to, if you don't mind me asking?" You asked with a curious glint in your eyes, honestly you were confused where your social confidence came from but it was honestly welcomed.
"I'm just heading to the library to check out some books, potentially borrowing a few to take home if I spot a few interesting ones." Namjoon answered with a grin.
"That's really neat, what’s the title and plot of the book you were reading?"
"Oh, it was a philosophy novel by Osamu Dazai called 'No Longer Human', the main plot is about a guy caught in a crossfire between a breakup of Japanese aristocrats and western influence, it really shows you another outlook and perspective on what life is and what could be. It really depicts depression and anxiety really wel- Aishh, I'm rambling a bit, please forgive me." He said embarrassed, his eyes now looking at the floor with a hand scratching the back of his neck while a rose tint is on his cheeks.
You honestly found Namjoon adorable, though he is a predator, his personality and hobby seem far from it, if you didn't see his ears and tail, you would've honestly mistaken him for a full-human. Hybrids did seem to have a part of their animal somewhere in their personality, maybe this was just one of many sides from Namjoon. You couldn't wait to find out more from him.
"I'd love to check it out sometime, if you don't mind, how about we exchange numbers?" You suggested with a hopeful smile, a bit flustered with your request but you were going to shoot your shot nontheseless.
"Oh sure, here you go"
And that's how you ended up talking to Namjoon until you got to your stop, sadly bidding him farewell before getting off the train and making your way to the Bistro.
Tumblr media
Now at the bistro, you waited outside the building to check your phone for messages from either of the two predators.
Jungkook 🐺 at 11:50 am: we're at a table at the corner sweets
Jungkook 🐺 at 11:51 am: i've got a black coat on and Jimin-shi has a turtleneck
Jungkook 🐺 at 11:51 am: if you can't find us, don't be scared to call me
After taking in the information, you finally walk into the restaurant and look around at the numerous tables of humans and hybrids alike, waiters and waitresses walked around with trays or taking orders. After a few minutes of scanning, you luckily found the predator duo with unfamiliar hybrid. Jimin was sat with his back towards the wall,  in front of him were Jungkook and the other hybrid that were both faced away from you.
You walked towards the table, Jimin had seen you and you caught the way his eyes lit up with a grin breaking out on his lips. His bread cheeks showing and his eyes barely visible.
The other two hybrids saw his reaction and were quick to look beside them, seeing you standing next to the table with a soft smile.
While the hybrids were just taking in your presence, you took this as your chance to examine the apppearance of their friend.
He had dirty blonde hair with black roots, looking fluffy and messy, but it fit him very well. He also had cat-like eyes, probably a bi-product from his hybrid, part snow leopard. His lips were just as blushy red and soft-looking as the two other predators. His outfit seemed to reflect his laid-back and calm attitude, sporting a plain white shirt underneath a black bomber jacket, jeans and some plain sneakers.
The other two had noticed your oogling and looked at eachother with a questioning look.
"Come here bunny, Take a seat next to me before we introduce you to our friend." Jimin patting the empty seat next to him which you happily took.
"So, this is Yoongi, a snow leopard that lives with us." Jungkook introduced you to him, Yoongi being sat in front of you. "Then this cute bunny is Y/N, Jimin's fellow ballet classmate."
"It's nice to meet you Y/N. I hope we get along well, yeah?" Yoongi put his hand across the table for you to shake, him sporting a smirk.
His voice wasn't exactly what you'd expect from his soft and sugar-sweet like appearance. His voice was deep, a slight noticeable accent in the way he pronounced his words. It was pleasant to the ears, it could potentially put you to slee if it weren't for the current environment.
You finally took his hand, and shook it. Your foot lightly thumping on the ground in excitement. "Back at you, Yoongi."
Yoongi admired the way his name rolled off your tongue, your voice like a melody from one of his songs, your voice was soft and kind, he could tell you were a very sweet and kind hybrid.
Jimin wrapped his tail around your waist, you snapped your neck to him in exasperation, shocked at the action. "What would you like to order, cutie?" He asked with a smirk.
He didn't miss the way your foot thumping had quicked, same as your heartbeat. He could also see a rose red bloom on your cheeks. You quickly averted your gaze, hands fumbling on the menu that was on the table to look at the options, also to hide your embarrassed face from the panther.
"The veggie pasta would be good! With a lemonade! Thankyou!!!"
Jimin laughed at your adorable reaction, the other two were amused at you, with each word you say they could feel themselves falling more and more in love. As if there was a magnetic pull..
Tumblr media
prev // masterlist // next
TAGLIST - @blehhhidk, @instantnarwhal, @singukieee, @weepyalex (just comment or dm to be added in masterlist !!, crossed out are people I couldn't tag)
notes - busted out this chapter in like 2 days.. I wrote this from my phone while chapter 1 was written on my computer, which do you guys prefer since I already have a chapter 1 rewrite brewing in my phone? I'd love to know which is better! this chapter was gonna be so much longer but I didn't want to delay it for another day so here ya go! would you also like shorter or longer chaps?
copyright © 2023 | frieschan
Tumblr media
268 notes · View notes
devils8nt · 7 months
Text
YOUNG CHAPTER I.
Tumblr media
Y/N'S P.O.V.
It was cold, unbearably so, the bitter bite of frost nipping at everything it touched, causing the room to stir from its previous slumber, awaking y/n along with it. The quiet, low shuffling noises of the other maids moving about, alerted her that dawn was coming soon, and though she'd much rather disappear into an eternal sleep, with the promise of never waking up, she knew that if she didn't get up, everyone would pay for it.
Sluggishly, y/n forced her body out of the bed while rubbing the sleep from her tired eyes, shivering slightly as her bare feet made contact with the freezing stone floor, before reaching to grab the thin fabric of her maid gown. It was an ugly little dress with scratchy material that made her itch all over moment she pulled it over her head, but never the less, she stood, straightening it out before tying a black apron around her petite waist, humming softly once she was satisfied with the way it looked. Finishing up, she lazily combed her fingers through the messy (h/c) locks of her hair, and prayed that she looked somewhat presentable before tugging on a black pair of shoes, just as cheaply made as the dress she wore. Hissing softly to herself, she winced, trying to ignore the way her blisters from the previous day rubbed against the back of the shoes, while running forward to take her place in the line that had formed near the door, awaiting the schedule of the day.
 This had been a routine for the past six months, since she and the others were brought to the Jung residence. A routine of waking up, dressing herself, and preforming assigned chores that she was given throughout the manor. Some days, she got lucky, and got tasked with cleaning the library, or gardens, but other days, she was less fortunate, being assigned the basements. The basements, the dungeon, the hole, one of many names assigned to the place, as it was a prison where the master of the house threw disobedient humans. Y/n had never met any of the masters that resided here, or even seen them for that matter, but from what she had seen down there, she knew they had to be cruel and hoped she'd never come to meet them. 
"It's too early to be thinking so hard, y/n." Someone suddenly voiced in an amused tone, pulling the girl from her previous state of thought, and causing y/n to blink up bewildered. There stood, in all her glory, her best friend, and fellow maid, Rien. 
Rien had got here just a few months before y/n did, and she too had lost her family when the hybrids raided her village. She and her little sister had been the only ones kept alive, but unfortunately, Rein was the only one who survived the month long trek to the Jung residence. According to the other maids, she was inconsolable for weeks until y/n got there, and with a couple of poorly cracked jokes, and awkward silences, Rien and her had both become each others rocks. While Rien often vented, and sought comfort in the small girl, she also protected her from the other not so nice girls here, who tended to pick on y/n for her meek stature, and innocent personality. In her opinion, Rien was everything y/n was not, A tall, beautiful, fiery red head who oozed confidence, but never the less, y/n was most grateful to have her as a companion. 
"On contrary, Ri, and perhaps if you thought a little more, you wouldn't end up in as much trouble as you do." Y/n teased playfully, giggling as an annoyed pout made its way onto her friends face.
"Please, this place would be as boring as it is daft without me here stirring it up a bit. Now come on, I already got our schedules for us. We're in the kitchens today." The girl said while placing her hands on her hips, a prideful look in her emerald eyes, and y/n smiled brightly before grasping the other girls hand, and tugging her in the kitchens direction.
The two girls ran gleefully down the hall, stopping briefly at a closet to fill their cleaning buckets with supplies, before pushing through two large dark oak doors, revealing a giant kitchen inside. 
This room never failed to amaze y/n, leaving her to stare in awe at all the items aligning the white counters, seemingly too fancy to ever even be used. This place was a chef's dream, her dream, and how she longed to take one of the cookbooks off the shelves, and make something she could share with the others.
"Stop daydreaming, y/n. These floors aren't going to clean themselves, and you know Sari will come to bother us soon." Rien voiced softly, mentioning the head maid, and patting y/n's shoulder, before heading towards the back of the room. 
She was right, so with one last longing glance, y/n hiked up her dress slightly, and sunk to her knees, before taking her bucket, and getting to work. The two girls chatted as they scrubbed, telling jokes, and making fun of the different items they had come across in their time here. Like the fancy toilets with too many buttons, or the expensive pictures with a splat of paint that seemed to line a majority of the bedroom walls, it was amusing, and y/n couldn't help from laughing at the absurdity of these items. 
So lost in her fit of laughter, y/n failed to notice the kitchen door creek open, and figure watch them curiously. What she did notice, however, was how Rien seemed to freeze in her steps, as she went to fetch her bucket so they could leave, and she too hesitated, before calling out to her friend.
"Ri, what is it? Did we miss something?" She questioned the other girl who didn't respond, but instead, bowed at a 90 degree angle, before motioning for y/n to do the same. It was only with her friends figure out of the way that she noticed the tall man standing at the edge of the marble counter staring down at her, and though she didn't know who he was, she immediately stumbled her feet, and bowed as well. This man looked scary, sleek nose, and dark eyes that had the faintest gleam of a smile in them. He had to be someone important for Rien to react so timidly, and y/n wondered if he was perhaps one of the butlers that resided in the manor, and if he was going to scold them for messing around so carelessly. Her thoughts were cut short though as another person entered the kitchen, one of which she recognized, Sari. The short woman immediately took notice of the man before lowering her head fearfully and bowing;
"Master Jung, your presence was not expected so early, forgive me for putting these two in your way." She apologized, a slight shake in her voice as man stepped closer, and y/n could feel herself start to shake too. Of all people they had to come across, it was no other than the master of the house, infamous for his hatred of her kind, and as a loud smack resonated throughout the room, her suspicions were proved. This was not someone whom she should take lightly.
"I don't remember giving you permission to speak to me." His voice growled out, as his lips curled into a scowl, and y/n felt her eyes widen in horror at the two canines that extended from his gums. Sari simply cried, attempting to apologize again as he towered over her, unamused at how she cupped her cheek, and cowered.  He must be a monster, surely, didn't he know how much stronger his kind was compared to them? Yet, he gave no mercy as he landed a kick to the woman's abdomen, sending her skidding across the newly cleaned floors. 
A whimper left y/n's mouth at the sound of Sari's body hitting the wall, and suddenly she could feel his burning gaze on her. She said nothing, not even willing herself to breath, as he moved near her, flinching only when she felt his hand forcibly lifted her chin, and she stared back at him, eyes full of fear. He said nothing for a long moment, the pad of his thumb swiping at y/n's jaw, as his eyes seemingly looked her, checking for something. Irritation suddenly took over his expression as he pushed the small girl away, causing her to fall harshly on her backside, before walking out from where he had come, but not before muttering one last sentence to them:
"If I see any of you again, you better hope you have a coffin ready."
____________________
Alright, re-upload, because this chapter was deleted for some reason.
98 notes · View notes
aestheticpluto · 8 months
Text
[Yandere Min Yoongi ]
Y/n : *Breathes*
Suga : They're so cute!!! My gosh!! *Faints*
Tumblr media Tumblr media
113 notes · View notes
leohatter · 6 months
Text
the jersey | myg
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: basketball capitan!yoongi x art student!male!reader
summary: after your crush confessed his feelings for you, loving him was the easiest thing to do. but what happens when you realise that he doesn't want to be seen with you ?
genre: college au, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: language
taglist: open (drop an ask or a DM if you wanna be added !!)
Tumblr media
★ chapters ★
⋆ lover boy │coming soon...
Tumblr media
★ drabbles ★
⋆ coming soon...
Tumblr media
please don't claim or copy any of my work !!
136 notes · View notes
gwiyeounsonyeon · 10 months
Text
ive been xtra obsessed with these boys if you wanted to try and request something. please bear with me though idk if im gonna be able to get anything done today but i want to try…
BTS - namjoon, yoongi, *i would be willing to attempt writing for jimin and jungkook*
BIGBANG - g dragon, top, taeyang, daesung
detective loki (prisoners), ghost, konig, leon kennedy, han lue (tokyo drift)
23 notes · View notes
male-reader-haven · 1 year
Text
Clothing has No Gender (BTS Imagine)
BTS with their boyfriend when he has a particularly dysphoric day about his clothes (ot7)
Tags: BTS x transmasc reader, wholesome
Warnings: Talk of dysphoria, mentions of transphobia
Suggested by anonymous <3
Sorry for the short break, I'm working on a longer more detailed story right now rather than churning these imagines out, but I really wanted to do this one. Let me know if you'd be interested in more trans reader stories in the future, maybe solo members and more in depth? If i got some things wrong I apologize, I myself am not familiar with the trans experience so I am willing to learn from those who do experience dysphoria, all I ask for is your patience as I am still learning! <3
Tumblr media
Namjoon
Namjoon would take you out shopping to find some clothes that would make you feel better. He would point out outfits and accessories that he thinks would look good on you, making sure to point out features on you that he loves and using masculine descriptive words such as "handsome," "dashing" and "fly." He makes sure to subtly use more gendered language when talking with you to make you feel affirmed and he makes sure you feel comfortable. He picks out clothes for both of you, and loves the idea of matching suits and clothes.
"I feel like this would accentuate your jawline and really bring out your eyes. What do you think? I think you'd look really handsome."
Tumblr media
Jin
Jin would ask you if you'd rather have a stay in day or go out, depending on if you are comfortable enough. Either way, he loves to dress in clothing that is generalized as more feminine and bright, so he would dress in clothes that are cute. pink and colorful to help you with your confidence. He would remind you that while clothing has no gender, the person wearing them defines them. He would cook food for you and remind you how grateful he is to have such a handsome boyfriend.
"If you're wearing them, then they're boy's clothes. Now get over here and enjoy this food I made just for my handsome man."
Tumblr media
Yoongi
Yoongi would sit down and listen to you, asking questions here and there about your feelings and specifically help you figure out why you think some ways and help you realize how your brain makes you feel like that. He would try to understand from your point of view, and based on your information he would do his best to accommodate to make you feel better. You two would have a lazy day of healing and watch movies and order takeout, wear comfier clothes and cuddle. He would reassure you that he sees you as a man and that he loves you, no matter how your brain tries to tell you otherwise. He may not understand why you feel so dysphoric because he honestly sees you as his perfect boyfriend and has a difficult time imagining you any differently, but he is there for you as a form of comfort and a listening ear.
"I don't see you that way. I see you as the man you are, stronger than most because of what you've gone through, no questions asked. Here, come sit with me and help warm me up, we can watch movies. Are you comfortable?"
Tumblr media
Hoseok
Hobi would definitely want to make you feel loved. He would compliment your outfit and tell you how handsome you look in your clothes, how it doesn't matter what haters say or think and how he loves you as the man you are. He would emphasize parts of your personality and mannerisms that he loves and he would get you off your feet and try to cheer you up by dancing and being silly. He gives the absolute best comfort hugs and you can't help but feel a little better after seeing his bright smile.
"Awww, my cutie boy, come dance with me! I want to see your handsome smile!"
Tumblr media
Jimin
Jimin would have trouble understanding where you are coming from, since his view on gender is very grey and he himself likes to play with gender and representation in clothing, however he would do his best in making you feel more comfortable. Jimin's confidence in himself and his gender while presenting more feminine and wearing gender neutral clothes in general makes you more confident in yourself, as well as the way he looks up to you and admires you. He is clingy and subby, making you feel warm inside knowing that he relies on you and sees you as protection, which in a way, helps you with your dysphoria. Overall, he adores you and you find him adorable, enough to distract your thoughts.
"Y/N, what do you think, does this color suit me? I want to look pretty for my man."
Tumblr media
Taehyung
Tae tries his best to distract you, keeping you busy by taking you out on a drive with him. He lets you choose your favorite music that he knows all the words to also so you can sing together as you drive, and the two of you talk about how you feel a bit. He doesn't say things to help 'convince' you of your masculinity but rather showers you in compliments that directly battle your insecurities, making you feel a little bit better. He would stop by a cafe and go inside to order your drink for you, then drive you both home where he would offer you to go through his closet and try on anything you like. He has no issues at all sharing clothes, in fact, he thinks its cute when you wear his things, calling you "handsome" and telling you it suits you more than him.
"I'll have a hot chocolate, and he will have a chai latte please. Ah, careful Y/N, don't get it on your suit, it looks so good on you without any stains!"
Tumblr media
Jungkook
Jungkook cocks his head in slight confusion whenever you talk about your insecurities and dysphoria to him, simply because he forgets all the time that you are trans. He simply sees you as you, his amazing boyfriend, and treats you the same as any other man he is close to, except for the fact that he loves you. He compliments your build all the time, loving going to workout together and build up your body confidence. Anytime you ask him with teary eyes if you look like a girl, he looks at you with his famous confused face, telling you he simply cannot even imagine you as anything other than what you truly are. He gives amazing comforting hugs.
"Huh? Y/N, I'm at a loss here. I'm looking, and no matter what, all I see is my fantastic, handsome boyfriend. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. *sigh* My baby boy is too hard on himself."
Send me suggestions on what to write next! ~ <3
--Masterlist--
155 notes · View notes
joonlaksme · 2 years
Text
October 1st
Min Yoongi - Bondage (M)
A/N : I had been working on this same story since last year kinktober, and only finished it recently ISHSJS TwT
Although you laid on your stomach with your arms tied behind your back, your thighs spread and raised legs that were tied to your restricted arms, you had never felt so free. The deep red rope made you feel safe and secure. Being tied up was a thing you indulged in as something more comforting than sexual. You compared it to a hug that no one else could give you and you were fine with being into that. It was one awkward conversation that ended with Yoongi agreeing to help you get into positions you wouldn’t be able to do by yourself. You had felt that maybe certain ones would feel different. When he wrapped silk or the rope around you, you had to muffle down the sigh you would have made in your pillow. It was a sense of belonging and he noticed that; you could see his smirk at the corner of your eye.
The reason you had asked him to do this was because he wasn’t a very close friend so if anything weird or bad happened, it wouldn’t be as big of a loss. Or so, you thought. Every Saturday he’d come over with a bag full of different textured rope, silks, and at one point, a blindfold. You bonded (pun intended) on a lot more things than you thought and it wasn’t soon until you found yourself developing a crush for the man.
What made this position more significant? Well, it made it more intimate even when you couldn’t look at him. He leaned over your body and made his final knot, the grip tight on your skin and sure to leave a mark for tomorrow. That was when this uncontrollable groan came out. You could tell by the way his movements had stiffen on your bed, that he had heard it.
“Is it too tight?” He asked. He had put two fingers under the bindings and pulled up to check. Sometimes you stayed silent after he asked questions like these so now he needed some type of signal that you were doing okay. Of course he had to stay sweet. He had no reason to be aggressive with you…
You finally shook your head and laid your head on your pillow. Usually when you were like this, you could get a good look at his bleach blond hair and his pale complexion. However, the blindfold perfectly covered your eyes and you had never cursed it until today. At times, his hands would meet at key parts of you to check the slackness of the knots. That in itself would light your body on fire in contrast to his colder hands.
“Oh. Are you…?”
Your face burst into flames in realization of what he was bringing up. You had been all too aware. What was even more embarrassing was how you couldn’t hide it. Not your face, nor your crotch.
“Should we ignore it…?”
He suggests it in a way with a small drag of his final word, and the hands that you crave on you, off of your body to avoid your possible discomfort. Well, you weren’t exactly sure how ignoring your boner would work. He had brought it up and it was clearly the elephant in the room. What you wanted to say didn’t come out so instead all you could manage was a whimper emerging from your mouth, wiggling in place as a plea to just touch you.
So he adjusts ropes so your arms and legs aren’t tied to each other. Yoongi doesn’t seem to care about anything else in knots when his hand rests on your cock. It throbs under his palm in such a way that even it shocks you. You gasp, something you’ve never done with this man before in bed. To think that just a small touch from him could lead to you practically begging for more. To think that his cocky smirk could be so sexy.
“So, was this just a coincidence or were you thinking of something else?” He asks, pulling down your zipper and taking your dick out. Every stroke he makes, aided with his spit, is heavenly. You attempt your best to hide your noises but it’s difficult when he’s reading your mind and going at the perfect pace. It’s only a matter of time before you make a mess of his hand and then proceed to profusely apologize for it. He thinks it’s cute. He thinks you’re cute.
124 notes · View notes
kjsnugget · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Jin x Male Reader
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Death, suicide, cheating, mentions of depression and mental illness.
Please let me know if I left out any warnings! Request are open feel free to message me, I hope you enjoy 😊
———————————————————————————
Darkness filled your home as the tears were falling down your face. The once filled apartment was now empty left with nothing but the remembrance of your relationship. You tried everything to ensure happiness for you and Jin in the relationship. Your efforts went to vain when you caught him with his ex in your bed together. You stood in shock when you seen them together not a word of apologies coming from either of them. He only packed his things and left with her leaving you alone in your once shared apartment.
What Jin didn't know was how fragile you had become in the weeks leading to the break up. Your depression returning stronger then it ever had before. Your motivation was wiped away with willingness to do anything. You were unsure of what to do being alone now. You had no one to call for comfort as it was late at night and your family would be sleeping. You didn't want to bother your family and friends with your problems leaving the only option to sleep in the guest room.
The sun began shining through the windows causing you to stir awake. The feelings from yesterday flashing back made it hard to move. You felt stuck, no one was able to help you. Even when you tried to get yourself up the pain and heartache held you captive in your sheets. After trying for hours you gave up and remained in bed returning to the only thing that helped you, sleep.
As the sun began to set you heard keys jingling in the living room. The only one able to come in would be Jin so you still stayed out. He was probably here to get the rest of his things. You didn't bother to greet him or look up at him you were to focused on trying to avoid another break down. "Have you just been laying here all day?" Unable to respond to him you focused on keeping your breathing steady "Whatever I'm here to get the rest of my stuff" still you gave him no response.
Jin focused on packing the rest of his things to move in with Anna He could say he didn't mean for this to happen but that would be a lie. Jin felt like your relationship died a long time ago. You had become boring, never wanting to go out, always laying in bed, you never did anything anymore. You stopped paying attention to him so he looked for attention somewhere else. Even now you ignored him he had hoped for some reaction but got nothing in return. He finished packing his things and left without saying goodbye to you.
Jin began his relationship with Anna forgetting about you fairly quickly. He had fallen in love with her all over again, the only problem was she was still the same person he had been with years ago. Nothing had changed with her and slowly he began to regret his choices, but he was determined to make it work.
With you out of his mind he focused on his relationship and he hung out with his friends more. They were not happy nor did they agree with what he did but they were still his friends. They still spoke to you when they could finally get ahold of you. Most of them knew what was going on with your depression and tried to help. They would visit you only to be turned away. Most of your days were spent in bed, the break up wasn't even on your mind anymore. Your thoughts had been consumed by hateful remarks. Slowly death began making his way into your mind as he was ruthless and pushed his way in.
After weeks Jin broke off his relationship with Anna as nothing ever changed when it came to her. He had no sympathy from his friends or family when he told them. They were angry with him for how he treated you. Days had passed since he left Anna, you started to fill his mind once again. His memory flooded with images of you, your smile, your laugh, the way your face scrunches when you laugh. The image of you on your anniversary and how perfect you looked, the feeling of your arms around him when you hugged him. The warmth of your skin under the sheets and how you would touch him with your cold feet. He knew he messed up but he wanted to try and amend things with you.
He made his way to your house, when he knocked on the door you didn’t answer. The door was opened by Namjoon, the rest of his friends behind him. Tears filled their eyes as sobs fells from their lips. Namjoons eyes were red a sign he had also been crying. Asking what happened he shook his head. “M/n is gone. He overdosed this morning” before he could finish his sentence Namjoon began crying once again.
Jin was unable to process what was said, he didn’t want to believe you were gone. He didn’t believe it he yelled accusing his friend of lying to him, knowing he would never do such a thing. However grief makes you act in unreasonable ways. The oxygen had began leaving his body as the tears began to fall. His breathing becoming unsteady as he broke down. Unable to understand why you did this he blamed himself for losing you. His friends trying to comfort him and calm him down, Jimin explained you had lost your battle with depression.
It was as if everything made sense, the reason you stayed in bed, stayed home, lost interest, everything made sense. You were struggling with depression and he never noticed. Instead of talking things out with you he left you for someone else, someone who didn’t and would never love him the way you did. He was never there for you the way you were for him and he would never forgive himself.
Days had passed since you passed away, sitting at your funeral he watched as they laid you to rest. He still didn’t want to believe you were actually gone, he was hoping this was some sick joke. He got passed his denial at the end of your funeral. He had to accept you were gone. All of his memories of you, your smile, your love, your laugh everything he loved about you would be just that. It would only be a memory.
178 notes · View notes
minminyoonjii · 1 year
Text
Scenarios/Fic Requests
Tumblr media
As the title says, it's scenarios/fic request time!!
This will be a series. I have an ultimate masterlist in the works, so you don't have to worry about missing anything. I realized how difficult it was to go through someone's blog without a masterlist. I apologize for my toddler tumblr behaviour. I'm learning as I go.
I thought Headcanons were Scenarios, 나는 정말 비보다 ㅠㅠ
Rules and Guidelines will also be out because I found my works in a smut compilation. It was surprising, to say the least. They also credited my user wrong... Anyways, I don't have a particular limit regarding Pairings/Genres. If we're considering dead dove content, I only write about monster fucking.
I've read every single one of your submissions/asks. I've read them all, and some I've completed subtly. You know who you are, so don't be afraid. The headcanons/fics will be under #secretmoonlight
TLDR; Tell me your deepest desires and I'll see if I can make them come true. Of course, within the kpop sphere.
Signing off, Your author minminyoonjii
Tumblr media
9 notes · View notes
oddinary4bts · 9 months
Text
Now We Reign | myg
Tumblr media
☆summary: when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?
☆pairing: Min Yoongi x singer female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)
☆genre: work collaborators to lovers, idol!au, smut, angst, fluff
☆warnings: alcohol, cursing, OC has family problems similar to those Yoongi went through, financial insecurity, loneliness, cheating but not cheating because they are on a break, sexist interviewer, explicit content: grinding, dom!reader, switch!Yoongi, big dick!Yoongi, oral sex (male and female receiving), jerking off, face riding, tits/nipples play, hickey, fingering, protected sex, choking, clit play, denied orgasms (due to consensual drunk sex), fingering, mentions of anal sex, handcuffs, anal plug, anal fingering
☆word count: 34.9k
☆a/n: it’s so weird to post something other than The Forgotten Spaces :’) I hope you’ll still enjoy this! As per always, thank you to @moonleeai​ for her incredible work as my beta reader! You’re the best <3
☆Read the other installments in the Life Goes On series here!
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Seven months ago
                 Music had always been home to you. A refuge, a safe haven from your family life as you had grown up. It had been held in the keys of your piano, and in the pages of your diary. Songs after songs, lines underlined and others erased. Clever play of words, rhymes and music to accompany it. Some of them had made it to your first EP, but most you had tried to forget.
Your past wasn’t one you wanted to revisit. Not when you had gotten a deal with a record label, something you hadn’t expected to happen at such a young age.
Idol life had never been something you were aiming for. You chose the backstreets, the smaller scene, and produced indie music as you went. It still got you a following, one that had been growing through the years, until your name was known all over Seoul.
You wondered if it had reached your hometown too, but the silence on your phone was clear enough: even if your parents had heard, their older daughter had been dead to them a long time ago. You had stopped caring through the years, pouring your hate for your family in your songs. You had even dived in the genre of rap a little. Rhythm and poetry, laced together until you lost yourself in the music.
It was different from your usual, but it had gotten the attention of a big name in the music industry. He had suggested a collaboration, offering to produce the song. All you had to do was help with the lyrics, though you were pretty sure he had that part covered. Of course he also wanted you to record some parts of the song for him, needing a female voice to be able to carry the meaning. Nothing too complicated.
After all, Min Yoongi already was a successful established artist. Far more successful than you ever thought you would be. It had taken you by surprise, when he had contacted you. It had been a random Tuesday night, and your agent had been going crazy, so much so you had had to tell him to calm down otherwise you were going to drop the collab. Minhyuk hadn’t needed more to oblige, and you had found yourself working on the song in the following weeks.
You weren’t surprised when Min Yoongi came to you with an almost finished version of the song. You had tweaked some parts, and surprisingly enough, he had trusted the changes. Even if you had made him rework one of his own verses, Yoongi had listened to you intently, and had seen the intelligence behind your suggestions.
You could only hope he would see the intelligence between the changes you wanted to make now. Because the song was set to release in a few weeks, and you were pretty convinced he didn’t like last minute changes.
Maybe that was why you found yourself going to his place, with a whiskey bottle as an offering so he wouldn’t be too mad.
Yes, you knew where Min Yoongi lived. In a far more luxurious condo building compared to your own, with a huge condo that stood on two stories of the upper levels. It offered him a beautiful view of the city, though you had yet to visit at night. Indeed, he had only made you come here once, on one of the early Saturdays of your collab.
You realized as you stood in front of the building that this was stupid. You hadn’t even texted or called him in advance to inform him of your impromptu visit. Had only decided the changes about an hour ago, and had rushed to the liquor store to grab the expensive bottle you currently held.
But life seemed to have plans for you. Other than that of running away into the night before you had the chance to embarrass yourself. That is, life had planned for you to run into Min Yoongi as he was walking back home, and you both stood facing each other for a few awkward seconds before you collected yourself, offering him a respectful bow.
“Seonbaenim,” you greeted him, and you hesitated before you straightened.
His hands were in his pockets, protecting him from the cold the evening held. He had an unreadable expression on his features, as if the sight of you was an inconvenience, but he didn’t want to let it show.
You weren’t stupid enough to believe collaborating with him had made you friends. Min Yoongi was a professional through and through, in everything he did. Apart from his members, you knew he didn’t mix work and personal life.
He said your name, and for a second you thought you saw confusion on his features. “What are you doing here?”
You stood there, not knowing what to say for what probably was a good ten seconds but felt like an eternity. His eyes flitted to the whiskey bottle, and you were pretty sure a disapproving look passed in his gaze, not lingering long enough for you to be sure you had truly seen it.
“I have some suggestions to make for the song,” you said. Your voice held strong, even though you felt incredibly uncomfortable under his stare.
His eyes widened a little, and his lips parted for a second before his mouth fell shut again. He looked behind you, to the hall of his building, before settling his gaze on you again.
“What do you have in mind?”
Oof. At least he was letting you talk. “It’s for the last bridge,” you started. “I think I could sing the last part differently. It’s lacking emotion.”
Yoongi had bothered you about emotion a lot when you had first been recording. Had told you he was surprised you couldn’t carry your usual emotion in this song. Which meant he had listened to your album, and you hadn’t known what to make of it for a time.
But you knew mentioning emotion was the way to go. Indeed, Yoongi slightly tilted his head to the side, still as unreadable, but you were convinced he was considering it.
“What makes you think you can get it better this time?” 
There were no clues in his tone to let you know what he might have been thinking.
You had to refrain from scoffing. “I have what you need, trust me.”
He pursed his lips, just a little. A crack in his professional mask.
Because the song held sadness. The angry nostalgic kind. And hadn’t it been for the fact your parents hadn’t even deigned to call you for your birthday, you probably wouldn’t have found the right emotion in you to deliver the performance Yoongi had first wanted from you.
“Very well,” he said, nodding once. “You can record it in my home studio.”
You nodded too, agreeing to his invitation. You weren’t foolish enough to pass on the opportunity. You fell into step with Yoongi as he started moving towards the door again, the bottle of whiskey heavy in your hand.
“I brought a gift to apologize for being here so late,” you tentatively said. Not really knowing what approach to take when it came to the ice radiating off Min Yoongi today.
He had never been openly cold before. But you could feel it in the hard stretch of his shoulders, and the muscle that feathered on his jaw whenever he clenched it. Something was upsetting him, something that had made him go on a walk at a late hour just to clear his mind.
You were familiar with such walks. You getting to his place had started as a walk like that. Until you had seen the liquor store and decided to be gone with formalities.
You hadn’t expected him to let you see his emotions. Even if a minute ago you had been at a loss with how he felt, now you could physically feel the anger on him. But ever so the professional and gentleman, Yoongi held the door open for you, breathing in one last time the cold air of the night before he stepped in behind you.
And just like that the unbreakable mask was back in place. It wasn’t like you minded: like him, you prided yourself in your professionality. Just because Yoongi was a big name in the industry didn’t mean that you were going to forfeit your nature.
Maybe that was the reason why the elevator ride was so awkward. Yoongi had dived his hands back in his pockets as soon as he had hit the call button, and then after he had pressed on his level. You were just standing next to him, and the silent elevator smoothly went up the floors until you reached his. You found yourself straining to look ahead, avoiding to glance at him.
He seemed as if he needed privacy, and you were not going to be the one to take it from him. Fortunately, the whiskey bottle was a rock in the awkwardness, keeping you steady even as your head turned from wanting to disappear. It gave you something to do as the elevator moved, and you almost dreaded the moment it would come to a stop.
So you did the only thing you knew how to do. You thought about your parents, about the phone that hadn’t rang today, and you clenched your jaw as the emotions swarmed in.
Min Yoongi wasn’t the only one in a mood.
The elevator halted, slowing on its hinges until it had fully stopped. The doors slid open, and Yoongi walked out. You took a steadying breath before following him, and you looked away as he typed the code to his condo on the pad on his door.
Fancy condo buildings and their technologies be damned.
The pad whirred as it unlocked the door, and a few seconds later, you were in Min Yoongi’s condo. You breathed in, inhaling the remaining scent of a home-cooked meal. It smelled good, infinitely better than what you could cook, and your stomach had the nerve to growl as you watched Yoongi take off his shoes.
You fought the blush that was creeping on your cheeks as Yoongi glanced at you. “Have you not eaten dinner?”
You hadn’t. You had tried getting seaweed soup, but just the thought of eating it alone for your birthday had made you sick to your stomach. The only thing that was fueling your body today was the coffee you had drunk this morning and the sandwich you had forced yourself to eat at lunch time.
“Sorry,” you apologized. “I’ll get something to eat at the convenience store after, it shouldn’t be too long anyway.”
He watched you carefully, and you wondered if he could tell you were in a mood. You didn’t even know if he cared. He didn’t really seem as if he did, because he only nodded his head curtly before motioning to some slippers left abandoned by the door.
“You can put these on,” he told you, and then he was walking down the hall, shrugging off his coat.
You watched him go with a confused expression, before you did as told. You hesitated for a good minute before you followed him, almost feeling as if you were intruding on his personal space.
In all truth, you were very much so intruding on his personal space.
You didn’t remember much of his condo from your first visit. He had directly guided you to the studio, which was on the second floor. First door to the left. But tonight he hadn’t gone straight for that, so you followed the sounds until you reached a kitchen area.
Yoongi was putting some food in a bowl. Jajjangmyeon, from the looks of it, and you surveyed him as he slid the bowl in his microwave, before shutting the door and dialing the cooking time.
He turned to look at you, before motioning at some glasses he had put on the island, under the expensive looking chandelier.
“Why don’t you pour us a drink?” he suggested. “I’m reheating a plate for you, I don’t want your stomach to be gurgling while you record.”
You would have been embarrassed had this not been the first kind thing someone had done for you today.
Indeed, you didn’t have a lot of friends. Kept most of them at a distance, and none really knew when your birthday was. Mostly because you hated birthdays and had always thought them to be useless. Just another mark to add on the calendar, another year gone by without any news from your family.
“You don’t have to,” you said, and pink tinted your cheeks as you moved in.
He folded his arms on his chest, leaning against the counter. His eyes held an intensity you shied from as you focused on the glasses instead. “I would do it for anyone I collab with.”
You pursed your lips, nodding slightly, and the room fell silent except for the buzz of the microwave. You stopped in front of the glasses, putting the bottle down next to them. Not really knowing what to say to fill the silence, you uncorked the bottle, and the oaky scent of the whiskey filled your nose.
The familiar smell eased your nerves a little, and you poured the two glasses as Yoongi fished the bowl out of the microwave. He put it down next to you, and you glanced up to meet his face.
You hadn’t realized it before, but Yoongi had pretty features. His face was round, just a little, softening the edges of him, and his eyes were like gems on his face, shining in the light from the chandelier.
“Thank you,” you said in a low voice, before grabbing one of the glasses to give to him.
He bowed in thanks, taking the glass from you before inhaling the whiskey. “That’s an expensive bottle.”
You chuckled. “I felt bad for coming over so late.”
“It could have waited until tomorrow.”
It wasn’t reproachful, the way he said it. Just a statement, and maybe even a question. As much as he was professional, Min Yoongi wasn’t an asshole. He knew you were going through something, and although he clearly didn’t want to prod, he also didn’t want to pretend as if everything was okay.
You shrugged. “I tend to live my emotions quickly. If you want a raw result, then it had to be tonight.”
He wet his lips, and his eyes fell to the jajjangmyeon. “Then eat so we can get to work.”
 *****
                 You finished recording for the fifth time. Each time Yoongi had suggested something a little different, something he believed would work better for the song. Less angry, more sadness. Find nostalgia and all that same crap.
You expected it when Yoongi said, “Let’s do it one more time. I think we almost have it.”
You glanced at him where he was sitting at his computer. You considered biting his head off, but then you nodded curtly.
He was right, there was way too much anger in your voice. So you shut your eyes, thinking about fifteen-year-old you having to leave your parents’ house because, “we won’t support you if you decide to give up on your life for some stupid dream”. You thought about you, living in the backroom of an old man’s restaurant, working shifts for him in exchange for a place to live, until you had been old enough to move to Seoul. You focused on the loneliness, on the knowledge that there was no one in this world at your side.
It always hit harder on your birthday, didn’t it?
When you felt ready, your eyes fluttered open, and you nodded at Yoongi, indicating that he could start the track you listened to for recording. You let the music fill you, syncing your soul with the chords that filled your ears until you were one with it. Until it was time to sing. Then you started singing, eyes shutting instinctively. You let the emotions guide your voice, let the loneliness formulate the lyrics.
It was over before you even realized it. The track fell silent, and still you kept your eyes shut.
“That was perfect,” Yoongi complimented you.
Even that wasn’t enough to bring your eyes to open. You had to take a few breaths, fighting the urge to break down that had taken over you. When the wave passed, you let your vision adjust to the world again, though it was blurry behind the bitter tears. You blinked them away, ignoring the feeling of Yoongi’s heavy gaze on your profile.
“Fucking finally,” you muttered, and you stepped away from the mic, taking off the headset.
Yoongi followed you with his eyes as you moved closer, putting the headset down next to his keyboard. “Don’t you want to hear?”
“I don’t need to.”
It wasn’t even confidence that motivated your words. Just nostalgia. Yoongi offered you a curt nod, before listening to it himself. He seemed satisfied with the result, because he nodded his head, rolling his chair away from the desk as he folded his arms on his chest. His gaze locked with yours, and a smile ghosted on his lips.
“I’ll send you the final result tomorrow,” he said.
You pursed your lips. “Sounds good. I guess I’ll get going then.”
You had half turned away from him when he spoke up. “Don’t you want another drink? That bottle was expensive.”
It really was. Way too expensive for your light wallet, but Yoongi was a whiskey connoisseur. You couldn’t have shown up with something less. Even if the bottle could have paid for your groceries for at least two weeks.
It wasn’t like you needed to eat three meals a day anyway, right? And with the money you were ought to make from the song, you could tighten the belt for a couple of weeks more.
“It’s fine,” you reassured him. “It’s late, I shouldn’t stay.”
Yoongi nodded, getting up from his chair. He hadn’t finished his glass yet, and he held your gaze as he downed it in one long gulp. You watched his throat muscle work, before letting your gaze drop to the ground.
“I’ll let you leave with the bottle then,” he said after he swallowed. “I have plenty of them already.”
“You really don’t have to,” you quickly said, with a panicked gaze.
He was smiling now. It took you by surprise. “Then you’re going to stay and drink another glass with me, mmh? We’re allowed to celebrate finishing the song.”  
Hopefully it was the loneliness in you that made you say yes, and not the softness that took over Yoongi’s features. He seemed relieved, as if he had been embarrassed to ask, but he recovered quickly guiding you back to the kitchen area downstairs.
This time around, you took your time to admire his condo. To admire the simple elegance of the place. It was far more luxurious than your own apartment, which was a one bedroom with a single working light and water stains on the ceiling. Yoongi’s place was all but that. It was full of light, spotless, with scattered pieces of art to decorate. Nothing too excessive or fancy, and it almost made the condo look a little empty. As if Yoongi hadn’t really taken the time to decorate.
Or maybe he had just recently moved in, and his busy schedule was keeping him from decorating more.
“You’re lucky this is my favourite bottle,” he said with a friendly smile as you stopped next to the kitchen island, where you had left the whiskey earlier.
“Glad my guess was right.”
He wet his lips, before pouring himself another glass. He grabbed yours from the sink, pouring you a glass as well before offering it to you. “And here I thought you were a connoisseur.”
You didn’t have the money to be a connoisseur, so you just offered him a secretive smile, followed by, “Maybe I am”.
He chuckled, and then guided you to the living room. Another spacious room, with a rug in front of the couch you assumed was worth more than everything you owned. You tried not to let it show on your face, but you were pretty sure Yoongi could tell you were impressed.
The feeling was entirely replaced by surprise at the sight of the little dog that was sleeping in a dog bed under the wide window.
“Why haven’t I seen that dog before?” you asked, eyes widened.
“You like dogs?”
You nodded, and you took a couple of steps towards the animal. It almost looked dead where it was lying, but then the little dog looked up at you, blinking away sleepy eyes.
“He’s called Holly,” Yoongi provided as the dog got up, stretching and yawning. “He’s lazy.”
You faked offence for the dog. “Poor little baby, he’s just tired.”
Yoongi laughed, and the sound made you quickly look away from him. As much as it had been unexpected, it did wonders to the sadness that had been clinging to your form all day.
“Sorry Holly.”
It was your turn to laugh as the little dog barked before running to Yoongi, begging to be picked up. Yoongi took a sip of whiskey, before putting his glass down on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch, cuddling the dog to his chest as he got comfortable.
It was so domestic you just stood there, staring at him. He motioned to the couch next to him. “Have a seat.”
It broke the spell, and you blinked a few times before obeying, busying yourself with sipping the whiskey to ignore the way your cheeks were burning.
“How long have you had the dog?” you asked, trying to fill the silence that was threatening to fall into awkwardness.
And as Yoongi started telling you the tale of how he got his dog, you slowly settled yourself more comfortably on the couch, drinking the whiskey as you enjoyed listening to him. He looked far friendlier than you had ever seen him, and it slowly became easy to forget you were just a collaborator.
Maybe if it hadn’t been your birthday, you would have refused the third glass he offered. And maybe, maybe if your mind hadn’t started fogging with the alcohol, you would have refused the fourth.
By the time you started the fifth, you were drunk, and Holly had gone into hiding somewhere, letting you sit closer to Yoongi on the couch. Luckily enough for you, you could stand your alcohol pretty well, and you forced a mask on your features so Yoongi couldn’t tell just how inebriated you were.
Not that he was faring any better. Yoongi had a red flush to his cheeks, and he had run his hand in his hair earlier in a way that had let it ruffled. It made him look good, and you tilted your head to the side as you listened to him tell you about his recent concerts in Vegas.
“It’s funny,” you sighed as he fell silent to drink from his glass. “While you were having shows in Vegas I was busking in Hongdae.”
He swallowed the oaky alcohol, licking his lips dry from the drops that had lingered on them. “I saw videos of you busking.”
Your eyes widened, and you let out a small chuckle. “Please save me the embarrassment.”
He laughed, slightly shaking his head. As if the thought of you being embarrassing was the funniest joke he had ever heard in his life.
“Don’t be embarrassed, I’ve been there too.”
An eternity ago, maybe. But the condo around you looked nothing like someone that used to be a busker. “You’ve had far more success than I’ve ever had,” you said, voice low.
His eyes connected with yours, and for a moment all there was was the synchronized beating of your hearts. He was the one to break the contact, and it almost felt as if you were going to fall forward from the rupture.
“You’ll get your success too,” he whispered. “Your music is amazing.”
You blushed, but the flush from the alcohol did a good job at hiding it. “I do hope so.”
A smile played on his lips as he swirled the whiskey in his glass. He played with the rim of the glass, almost pensively. “Army will love your music.”
“Thank you,” you murmured. “For giving me this opportunity.”
“You deserve it.”
His gaze moved back to yours. Yoongi had pretty eyes, deep eyes that told tales of suffering and healing. He had gone through a lot, to get where he was now. From the interviews you had listened to, you actually had a similar past to his. And you felt understood, as he gazed at you. With a softness to his eyes you had never really seen anywhere else.
Min Yoongi had experienced the worst this world has to offer, but he had also experienced the best. You could only hope your turn would come someday.
You took a sip, holding his gaze for a moment, before cowering away. “You know,” you started. And you didn’t really know what to say. Only thought he might understand. “It was my birthday, today.”
He straightened, surprise moving on his drunken features. “Was it?”
You nodded.
“Happy birthday,” he said, with a grave voice.
You shifted a little closer to him, only because he was looking at you with too much intensity for you to resist. The air turned warm, hot, filled with expectancy.
“Thank you.” You wet your lips, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes darted to your mouth before meeting your gaze again. “Thank you for letting me record it.”
“I hope it helped.”
Another nod of your head, as you took yet another sip of the whiskey. This time mostly because the feeling inside of you needed to be ignored. To be avoided at all costs.
Too bad alcohol kills the inhibition, right?
You couldn’t even tell who did the first move. All you knew was that your glass was snatched from your hands, put down on the coffee table and then you were tasting the alcohol on Yoongi’s lips. The kiss was ravaging, taking your loneliness and burning it down, until all you could feel was Yoongi’s body under your hungry hands.
His own hands were all over you too. On your back, on the nape of your neck, in your hair. One large hand sneaked to the front until it had wrapped around your breast, and you moaned in his mouth. You grabbed a handful of his hair and sucked on his bottom lip as he pulled you closer.
You climbed on his lap, and you held yourself on his shoulders as your mouth found his again, kissing him with no restraint, no inhibition. Min Yoongi was a damn good kisser. It made you ache with want, as you imagined the other things his wicked tongue could do…
The hand on your breast hadn’t really moved since it had found it, so you put one of yours above it, pushing it harder. Searching for more pressure, more friction, anything that would make you forget the loneliness of the day.
Maybe Yoongi was trying to forget something too. You didn’t really care. It wasn’t like your brain could think past this moment or the next. All you were focused on was the now, and the bulge you were currently perched on.
You grinded your hips, probably a little too hard, and Yoongi grunted, pulling you closer, grabbing your hips until he could hold you in place. Yet he didn’t resist as you rocked your hips again, and the hold he had on your hips only turned you on even more.
You moved from his mouth to his neck, trailing wet kisses down until the collar of his shirt, and then up to his ear. He threw his head back to rest it on the couch, exposing the pretty column of his neck. You sucked on his Adam’s apple next, before finding his lips for yet another heated kiss.
As you kissed, tongues entwined, your hands moved down his chest, searching for the hem of his shirt. You pulled away from him just long enough to rid him of the piece of clothing, and you didn’t even look back to see where you had dropped it. You were too busy crashing your mouth on his again, chasing the remnants of the whiskey. He kissed you back with the same intensity, his large hands still holding your hips, though he let you have control of your movements.      
The thought he was letting you do whatever you wanted made your blood sing, and you pulled away to kneel between his legs. He was breathing heavily as his eyes opened, meeting your gaze while you were working on his belt. You struggled with it for a bit, and he offered a helping hand as you moved to caress the length of him through his jeans. He instinctively bucked his hips, and you put your face down on his thigh as he finished unbuckling his belt.
You looked up at him innocently, before begrudgingly lifting your head so you could take off his pants. He pushed up from the couch just enough for the jeans to move under his ass, and soon enough all that was left between you and him was the white fabric of his boxer briefs. You barely hesitated before kissing the hardening length, and his hands clenched into fists on each side of him. It made you feel wicked, and you replaced your lips with your teeth, though you didn’t bite down.
Your goal wasn’t to hurt him after all. You just wanted to see how far Min Yoongi would go before begging you to suck his dick. So you teased him, teased the sensitive cock that was growing harder from all your ministrations. But you never gave in, never pulled the underwear down.
Yoongi breathed out an annoyed breath, and you smirked up at him. “Is there something that you want?”
His mouth fell open, and he looked startled that you asked, as if it wasn’t already clear what he wanted.
You landed another kiss on the tip of his dick, licking at the wet spot where his precum had leaked through the fabric. “Don’t you want something?”
He nodded.
“You’ll have to tell me with words,” you purred, and the smirk on your lips turned devilish as you pulled his underwear down, just enough for his cock to rest free on his stomach. You waited for him to say something, tutting as he just remained silent, with that same widened gaze as before. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
“Suck my dick,” he said with a small voice.
You cocked an eyebrow. “Isn’t there something missing?”
He almost looked scared for a moment. Intimidated for sure. Even if he was the big name between the two of you, you currently had him wrapped around your finger.
“Please?” he tried.
“Good boy.”
You finally gave in to your desires and his, eyes dropping to the dick in front of you. As everything that came with Yoongi, his cock was pretty. Large enough that you knew it’d be a stretch, with a pretty tip that shone red. A bead of precum appeared on the slit, and you immediately leaned in, licking it.
Yoongi hissed, and from the corner of your eyes you could see his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists.
“You can touch me, you know,” you told him, grabbing one of his hands.
You meant to put it in your hair, but instead Yoongi grabbed a hold of your hand, his long fingers keeping you from moving.
Well, this was a start. You didn’t usually hold hands when you were sucking someone’s dick, but if that was what he wanted, then you were happy to oblige.
You got to work, licking a long stripe from the base of his dick up to the head, swirling your tongue around the most sensitive part before letting your lips close around it. You sucked on it, resting your tongue flat against the length of him before you went down, slowly, taking in as much of him as you could. You stopped when he hit the back of your throat, and he grunted once again. His free hand flew to your hair, pulling it to the side so he could look at you.
You moved back up, playing with his frenulum as he was almost out before going down again, quicker this time.
Yoongi never forced you to suck his dick. Only hissed and grunted, as you worked on him, his dick hardening in your mouth with every bob of your head. He tasted good, and you started going faster, just to hear more of the pretty sounds he let out when he hit the back of your throat.
You moaned around him, testing the waters to see if he liked that. Most guys usually did, and Yoongi wasn’t any different. He met your gaze, and he looked spent for a moment, a panting mess under the ministrations of your mouth.
He licked his lips as you hollowed your cheeks, drawing circles on his dick before you pulled out. You sat back on your heels, jerking him off quickly as you met his gaze.
“I want to sit on your face.”
If he was surprised, he gave you no indications of it. Only let go of your hand so he could lie down on the couch. You let out a small laugh, cocking your head to the side.
“You’ll have to undress me first.”
“Right,” he muttered, and he sat up quickly, hands reaching for you.
You couldn’t resist moving closer until you could press your lips on his. He wasn’t expecting it, and it took him a few seconds before he was kissing you back with the same fervor you had applied to his dick. Which was a lot, and you moaned in his mouth as his tongue found yours. You let him have dominance this time, just because his hands were undressing you, unbuttoning your pants and fighting to get them down your legs.
You pulled away from the kiss so you could stand up, and a second later your pants were pooling around your ankles. You weren’t wearing particularly attractive panties, so you took them off yourself, and the piece of clothing met your pants on the ground a second before you were stepping out of the pile.
You took off your shirt yourself as you were climbing on his lap again, and you grinded on his dick once before motioning to the couch. “Lay down.”
He wet his lips, nodding a single time before he started moving. You stood just long enough for him to be able to lay down, and then you were already climbing back on top of him, legs on each side of his face. He grabbed your thighs as you lowered yourself on him, and the first lap of his tongue on you had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
You hadn’t been wrong. Yoongi knew how to use that wicked tongue of his. Dipping it deep inside of you to get a taste, before focusing on your clit. Torturing it with a light pressure, until you grinded into his face to seek for more. He got the message then and he flattened his tongue, pressing into you harder, lapping you in time with the grinding of your hips.
Unfortunately for you, you had never really been able to come when you were drunk. No matter how hard you chased the high, it always evaded you. Yoongi was by far the best you had had in a while. Or it was just the fact he was Min Yoongi, and he was pliant to all your wishes. Listening to you when you told him to press circles on your clit, obeying when you suggested sucking instead.
He really was wrapped around your finger, wasn’t he?
“Fuck, you’re so good,” you praised him, the sentence finishing in a moan. It only made him work harder, and your legs were shaking by the time you spoke again. “Do you have condoms?”
He couldn’t reply. Not when you were riding his face like that. So you reluctantly moved down his body, and he gulped in air as you sat back on his dick.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
You let out an unexpected laugh, and a smile appeared on his lips. It disappeared as soon as you crashed your mouth on his, and he grabbed your face to kiss you deeply. His chin was wet from your juice, but you didn’t care. You tasted all of yourself on him, licking him clean until you were satisfied.
When you sat back on him, he had a dazed expression on his features. His hair was a mess all around his head, and you let out another small laugh as you bent, just enough for your hands to reach the strands, taming them gently.
His eyes had gone dark when you straightened again. You wondered if what you had done was wrong, but you didn’t want to know. So you moved your hips, circling on his dick, and he hissed again.
“Do you have condoms?” you repeated the question.      
His hands rested on your thighs, caressing them up and down as he said, “In my bedroom”.
You grinded again. “As much as I’d like for you to fuck me raw, we should get a condom.” You got up, albeit reluctantly, and you offered him a hand.
The perspective that he was about to fuck you probably chased whatever darkness had invaded him, because he grabbed your hand as he stood, before bending down to take his whiskey glass too. He chugged it, and you only had time to take a hold of yours before he was pulling you behind him.
You drank small sips of your glass as you followed Yoongi, eyes falling to his ass. It was pretty, and you were once again struck with how everything was pretty when it came to Min Yoongi. For all the rough edges of his professional personality, Yoongi was pretty, with softness behind the mask.
And you could glimpse at the softness, as he pulled you behind him, uncaring that you were both naked halfway up his staircase. His thumb drew circles on the back of your hand, absentmindedly, and you held his hand a little tighter.
It did feel less lonely, all of a sudden.
Min Yoongi’s bedroom was dark. Walls painted in a dark shade of grey, comforter ink black. The only light thing in his room was the canvas over the headboard of his bed. A painting, abstract at that, in shades of white and beige that seemed like a beacon in the darkness of the wall. The furniture in the room was black too, and the tiled ceramic floor completed the décor in its own shade of grey, almost matching the paint on the wall.
The room was tidy, so tidy you weren’t even sure anyone lived here. But then Yoongi let go of your hand, carelessly walking to a night table, and his gaze slid to you as you stopped at the entrance.
You cocked your head to the side, downing the rest of your glass with your eyes still holding on to his gaze. His chest moved quickly, up and down, as if he was out of breath. And maybe he was, and the predatory look you set on him made adrenaline run through his blood. He wet his lips, and his gaze dropped, before sliding to his bedside table.
He fished a condom out of it, and he was about to tear the package open when you talked.
“Let me do it.”
He froze, and then a smirk moved on his lips. It made everything in you sing with burning lust, and you crossed the distance between the two of you. You dropped your glass on the bedside table, before biting in your bottom lip as you turned to face him. He held out the package for you to take, and you took it from his long fingers. You had expected his hand to drop at his side, but he instead moved it between the two of you, cupping your breast through the bralette you were wearing.
You gulped, instinctively stepping closer to press his hand harder against you, just the way you liked it. He understood, and his other hand cupped your other breast. He massaged them, hard, pinching your nipples through the fabric of the bralette. The friction of the fabric on the sensitive buds had stars forming on the periphery of your vision, and you let out a moan as you tore the package of the condom open, fishing the actual condom out with eager fingers.
You didn’t have time to reach down to his dick before Yoongi moved on his knees. He sucked on the skin of your thigh, hard, leaving a purple bruise behind that he soothed with a kiss.
“Let me just eat you out more, mmh?”
You didn’t have the ability to say no, so you sat on his bed and pulled his head closer to your heat, other hand clutching the condom so it wouldn’t fall on the comforter.
Yoongi’s tongue truly was skilled. And it moved fast on your clit. You could see the mirage of an orgasm on the horizon, but the alcohol in your blood kept it away, frustratingly so. Even when Yoongi slid two fingers inside of you, curling them to hit a sweet spot inside of you. It felt divine, and you moaned for him, telling him just how good he was. It made him work harder, and he eventually whined, resting his head on your thigh to look at you.
“I want to feel you on my dick,” he said, and he sounded almost shy. As if voicing his desires was forbidden.
You bit your lip again, letting out a ragged breath as your heart beat wildly in your chest, almost drowning out his words. “Then get on the bed.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly laid down next to you, stroking his dick as you kneeled next to him. You swatted the hand away, and he smirked again as you started rolling the condom down his length. You jerked him off a couple of times when you were done, before climbing on his lap.
He watched you carefully. As if he was only then realizing what was happening. He still let you position him at your entrance, and you sunk down, just enough for his tip to start parting your folds.
“Can I?” you asked, stopping there.
He wet his lips. “Please.”
It was your turn to smirk wickedly, as you sunk down on him until most of him was inside of you. It stretched, but he had prepared you so well he slid right in, and you moaned as he bottomed out.
“You’re big,” you praised him. “What a good fucking boy.”
His hands flew to your hips, fingers digging in the supple skin. “You say that as if you’re not fucking wet for me.”
Oh. Min Yoongi did have a dominant bone in him.
“Aish,” you moaned. “You’re going to fuck me, mmh?”
He sat up a little, wrapping an arm around your waist before pulling you down with him. “If you ask so nicely.”
You were surprised by the small laugh that fell from your mouth, but it quickly died as Yoongi started jackhammering his hips against yours, his dick fucking into your walls so deliciously, your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He held you tight against him as he fucked you, and your dominant side returned as he let out a moan in your ear.
Your hand snaked between your bodies, until it was wrapped around his throat, finding the two sides of it. You cut the blood supply to his brain, fingers digging in the arteries, and he let out a louder moan this time, something that somehow resembled your name. Still he didn’t slow down, and you sucked on the side of his jaw, mouth needing to do something to muffle the pleasured sounds that kept tumbling from it.
You released your grip on Yoongi’s throat after a time, and you moved until you could catch his lips for a quick yet languid kiss. You swallowed the grunts he let out before sitting up on him. He only then slowed the roll of his hips, and his eyes fluttered open to meet yours.
“Let me fuck myself on you a little,” you said, head cocked to the side. “I want to make you feel good.”
“Please.”
You didn’t need more to start moving, slowly, in a dance that had to be frustrating to him after the relentless pace he had set. Yet it felt heavenly, stretching all of you wide open, the drag of his dick along your velvet walls making you reach for something to hold on to. It turned out to be your breasts, and your hands slipped under the bralette as you palmed yourself.
“So fucking good,” you breathed, and Yoongi’s large hands settled on your hips again, guiding you on him.
Making you roll your hips more, impaling you on him until he was fully in.
“I think I could fuck you all night,” he declared, and he seemed astonished. As if he hadn’t expected the ordeal to feel this good. And it did feel good, far more than you had ever thought it could.
“Hope you have good stamina then,” you said, half teasing, but the lustful look adorning his gaze told you that he just might fuck you all night.
“For you?” He wet his lips, moaning as you circled your hips in just the right way. “Fuck, I could come like this.”
Surprisingly enough, he didn’t let you continue. He stilled your hips, before sitting up again. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and the following moment disappeared in your mind, dizziness taking the forefront of the scene as Yoongi spun you until you were lying down, with him on top of you.
It took him a few seconds to realize he might have moved you too quickly, but he soon said, “Are you okay?”
You huffed out a breath, eyes fluttering closed. “That was dizzying.”
He chuckled, and he pushed back inside of you. You hadn’t felt him fall out, but you sure as hell felt him as he slowly slid in, all the way.
“I wanted to see what you look like under me.”
You opened your eyes, and you were relieved to see the world was not turning as much anymore. “Like the sight?” you teased, and your hand shot between you to press circles on your clit, lazily.
“Fuck,” he grunted, and then he was thrusting into you again, fast and hard.
You cried out a delighted moan and you timed your ministrations on your clit with his movements, until everything seemed to blend in together.
Yoongi fucked you for a while. He did have good stamina, and the more you praised him the more he kept going, with sweat dripping from his forehead, wetting locks of his hair. He looked sinfully good, the sounds he made a melody you had never imagined you’d hear, one that mixed with your own moans until it was a song, of passion and desire and everything in between.
You couldn’t quite tell how long it lasted. Only that Yoongi’s movement grew sloppier, his breathing ragged as he bent down to hide his face in your neck. He sucked a spot on your skin, and your hand found the nape of his neck to hold him in place.
“I think we’re too drunk,” you murmured as Yoongi slid in and out, slowly, but never fully stopping.
“You feel so good.”
You chuckled, and your fingers drew circles on his scalp for a few seconds before you replied, “We won’t come”.
Yoongi persisted for a time, dragging his length inside of you until you started digging your nails in the skin of his back. “Right.” He thrusted in twice more, before stopping all the way in, his dick fully impaling you. “You just feel so good.”
You stayed like that for a time, unmoving, your breaths in sync as your hearts slowly returned to a normal rhythm. Yoongi’s dick had gone soft by the time he pulled out, yet he remained on top of you, breathing in your scent.
“I should go,” you said after what felt like an eternity. Your eyelids were drooping, and you held him close to you as you spoke the words.
“Stay for the night,” Yoongi murmured, his lips moving against your neck. His voice was deep, scratchy, and it made you want to be closer to him, until you were blended with his soul.
He was comfort. For a reason unknown, Min Yoongi was comfort personified, and you really didn’t want to go. Even if you were slowly coming down from the buzz of alcohol. You sighed, before pushing him to the side.
“You’re crushing me,” you admitted, and he let out a small chuckle, before rolling to the side.
He settled next to you, an arm draped around your stomach, face nuzzled into your neck. His proximity felt strange. For someone that usually seemed closed off, Min Yoongi appeared to have let you in… tonight.
Was it the song, or the fact that you had been alone on your birthday? Had he found pity in you, and tried to gift you with his own form of comfort? It made you feel pathetic, but his steady breathing as he fell asleep calmed you down, melted your worries away, until sleep found you in its hold too.
Yoongi didn’t let go of you while he slept.
 *****
                 Dawn was grey. Colourless, as if the sun was the source of all colours in this world. As if its absence kept the colours at bay, changed them into shades of black and grey that melted together in a strange picture. It was unfamiliar, foreign, as if you weren’t supposed to be awake at this hour.
It took you a moment to realize the greyness wasn’t from dawn, but from the colour on the walls. A moment longer for the pounding in your head to awaken, reminding you of the alcohol you had ingested the night before.
You weren’t at home. In fact, you were lying on a mattress far more comfortable than anything you could ever own, in a luxurious yet sparsely decorated room that was far from your own.
The comforter had slipped from your body as you slept, and you shivered from the chill air. A breeze was playing in the curtains by the window, and it smelled of rain, though the panes of the window were still dry. You turned your head to the side, afraid of the sight that would come.
Min Yoongi looked like a prince, lying next to you. His hair formed a crown around his head where it rested on the pillow, and his soft features looked regal in the morning light. His mouth was slightly opened, and little snores came out of him each time he exhaled.
His hand had fallen from your stomach at some point in the night. It rested next to you now, fingers reaching towards you but not really touching. As if he had never meant to let go in the first place. Still, you were glad he had.
Because with the morning, reality rushed back in.
It ceased you, grabbed your heart and squeezed it in your chest as you watched him sleep for a moment longer. Just because he was peaceful, and you wished to revel in the peace. Refused to let reality crush this moment, not before you had it committed to memory, locking it up in a safe corner of your heart.
But when it was locked up, you took the key and threw it away, never to be found again.
You blinked the grogginess away, eyes searching around you for your clothes. It took you a few seconds to remember you had discarded all of the fabric downstairs last night, except your bralette, and you winced at the thought that you would have to go down there naked to get dressed again.
You sat up, shivering once again in the chill air, goosebumps raising on your flesh until your skin looked pricked by it. You glanced at Yoongi before getting up. The song came back to your mind – the gut-wrenching lyrics screaming of loneliness, of never finding solace in people’s company, of seeking for a family that never comes.
Loneliness felt worse in the grey light of dawn. And right on cue, rain started splattering on the window, drowning out the sounds of Yoongi sleeping, and the rustle of the sheets as you slipped out of the bed.
The ceramic floor was warm under your feet, and you tiptoed your way to the door. Not daring to look back, barely even daring to breathe. You didn’t want Yoongi to wake up, not when you were about to leave without saying goodbye.
For some reason, you thought he might understand. You thought Yoongi could understand that loneliness sometimes needed to be dealt with alone. No matter how salvaging last night had been for the lone heart in your chest, the morning called for something else. For reality to settle back in. What had happened last night was unprofessional, inherently so, and it filled you with dread.
Maybe that was the reason you were fleeing after all.
You reached the door, hand settling on the knob. You couldn’t resist looking back then, as if you just needed to make sure that this moment had been real. Yoongi’s hands had moved a little while you were walking away, fingers reaching for your warmth. A frown moved on his features as he didn’t find it, but they relaxed as he exhaled loudly.
He was still sound asleep, and infinitely peaceful. You hoped nothing would ever break his peace.
You slipped out of the bedroom, shutting the door soundlessly behind you before walking down to the living room, where you put on your clothes. You had half a thought of leaving a note behind, to explain why you hadn’t stayed, but you didn’t know where Yoongi might have paper in his condo, and you didn’t want to linger around long enough for him to wake up.
You were putting on your shoes when he appeared at the top of the stairs, draped in a white robe to keep the cold at bay. His features were back in the same icy mask he had sported at the beginning of the night yesterday, and you gulped as he stared you down.
“You’re leaving early,” he stated as he leaned against the wall, folding his arms on his chest.
His hair was a mess from last night – long gone was the crown you had woken up to see. He looked unkempt, and there was a line from his pillow on his face. It made him look human, terribly so, and you felt bad for wanting to leave.
“I don’t think I belong here,” you admitted.
With a small voice, as small as the fear inside of you. Because yes, you were lonely. But being here in this too big condo with someone that was just supposed to be a work collaborator… it made you feel out of place.
A line appeared between Yoongi’s brows, and he pushed up from the wall to start walking down the stairs. “I invited you to sleep over, you have all the rights to be here.”
You wet your lips, chasing the frustration of not being understood away. “I mean, we shouldn’t have done that, should we?” You watched as Yoongi finished walking down the stairs, sitting on the very last step. “It was fun, I won’t deny it, but it was unprofessional.”
He leaned against the wall again, looking at you with a gaze that made you feel naked, as if he was seeing right through your soul. You turned your head away, wanting to flee but not having the courage to do so when his eyes were on you. As if, if you stayed unmoving, maybe the whole situation would disappear. Maybe he wouldn’t see you anymore, the way that he was seeing you now.
“It was,” he agreed, to your surprise. “I’m not big on regrets though, I’ve had enough of them for a lifetime.”
“I-” you caught yourself before you added more.
I what? I don’t regret it? I’m not big on regrets either? Why then did this morning taste awfully like regret?
Yoongi just held your gaze, not prodding but visibly expecting you to continue. Maybe you owed him as much.
“I’m just afraid it will ruin our professional relationship,” you admitted.
His gaze dropped to the floor. “I thought so. I can always push back releasing the song if you prefer.”
Your eyes widened, right as your heart stopped in your chest. Did he know how much you needed the money? Did he know that you were on the verge of giving up on your dreams because you couldn’t afford your apartment?
“I don’t know,” you said, and it was true. You didn’t know if you wanted to risk not releasing the song, but you didn’t know if you wanted to keep working with Yoongi in the immediate future either.
You needed to get rid of the loneliness alone after all.
“Then think about it,” Yoongi suggested. “I can always pay for all the work that you did, and if you feel like releasing it some day you just let me know.”
You pursed your lips. It was a good idea. A decent suggestion, yet it felt wrong. Because releasing the song was certain to open up the world to you. Or so you had been hoping. Could you give up on that dream?
“I will,” you said. “I’ll think about it, and I’ll let you know.”            
Yoongi nodded, before stretching his legs in front of him. “Can we talk before you leave though?”
You didn’t know what he wanted to talk about. Only knew that the longer you were to stay here, the more the loneliness was going to drown you.
“What is there to talk about?”
His features turned grave. You were struck that he looked as if he was going to announce the end of the world, as if the Earth was about to stop turning and you’d all crash into a wall at eighty miles per hour.
“I have to admit something,” he said. His eyes found the floor again, though he had been avoiding your gaze for a moment now. “I have someone in my life.”
A lump formed in your throat. A disgusting, guilty lump that tasted like bile. “You cheated on someone with me?”
He slowly shook his head no. “We’re on a break. I just thought you deserved to know.”
The loneliness was real. It was a feeling you knew all too well, in all of its labyrinths and corners. It wove its way in every crevice of your soul, and God knew your soul was filled with crevices. With cracks, from all the times you had needed to glue yourself back together.
“Oh.”
It was all you could voice as the enormity of his revelation dawned on you. Was that why he had looked upset yesterday? Had he tried to forget his own loneliness by drowning in you?
Had it worked?
“I’m sorry.”
Min Yoongi did look apologetic, but you found him a coward. A coward for avoiding your gaze like he was right now, for looking devastated sitting there on the stairs. And maybe he truly was devastated, if he was on a break with the person that he loved.
Why had you come when you were at your most vulnerable?
“Thank you for your honesty,” you said, voice blanched with the horror in you. Because you were horrified, to think you had slept with a man that belonged to another. Though the pounding in your head reminded you that it was alcohol that had caused the ordeal, that it wasn’t you, and you clung to that thought.
Because if your inhibitions hadn’t been lowered, you would have never slept with Min Yoongi.
He remained silent for a little eternity, and then somewhere in himself he found the courage to look at you again. You almost wished he hadn’t.
“Do you want me to send you the song today, still?”
It was a fair question. One that could bring you back in the charted territory of your professional relationship. It felt safer, and you let out a shaky breath to calm the pit in your chest.
The pit had always been there, you reckoned. It just was harder to ignore on this dreadful dawn.
“Sure,” you answered, though you had no intention to listen to it.
No, it was probably better to put this all in the past. To forget the comfort Yoongi had brought to you last night. You almost wished you had been able to run before he’d woken up, but you weren’t a coward. This conversation would have been needed at some point.
“Is there something you want to say?” Yoongi enquired, gently. With a voice that sounded far older than he was, far wiser than he had to be.
“I don’t know.” You parted your lips as you wanted to continue speaking, but nothing came out. So you shut your mouth, rocking back and forth on your heels as anxiety spiked through you, replacing the initial horror. “I am sorry it happened.”
He shrugged. “Don’t be. As I told you, I don’t do regrets anymore.”
You would have liked to be able to tell if he was lying, but Min Yoongi was an unreadable book when he wanted to be.
“I hope you fix your relationship,” you said. You really did, if only to forget last night had ever happened. He remained silent, lips stretched in a tight smile. “I…” you trailed off, and it was your turn to lower your gaze to the floor. “I appreciated last night, though.”
He wet his lips. “I won’t lie to you. I appreciated it too.”
“But life is life, isn’t it?” It was a rhetorical question, one he didn’t reply to. “I guess I’ll go.”
He sighed, loud enough for you to hear. It wasn’t an annoyed sigh. No, it sounded as if he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.
So much for not regretting, uh?
“I’ll send you the song,” he reiterated. “Please take care of yourself.”
It made a drop of anger fall in the ocean of loneliness you were drowning in. Because you had shown him the darkness in you last night, and he had hidden the truth from you. And maybe he didn’t even owe it to you, you just wished he had said something last night, before it was too late.
Before your body knew that it was molded to fit his perfectly.
“Will do,” you replied curtly.
You turned away from him then, hoping he couldn’t see the hurt in your eyes. You didn’t even know if you were allowed to be hurt. Didn’t even know if you were actually hurt, or if you just needed to be alone.
In all the misery that it brought you, loneliness was your comfort zone.
 *****
                 The days had stretched into eternity, busking keeping your mind from rushing back to the events you had partaken in with Min Yoongi. Minhyuk had been appalled, when you had told him that the song would likely never be released. You had told him enough about what had happened with Yoongi, without ever really confirming that you had slept together, yet Minhyuk hadn’t let it go.
He only had when you had received the money Min Yoongi had promised to pay, earlier this afternoon. It was an astronomical sum for someone who got by with busking. As your contract with Minhyuk asked for, you had shared half the sum with him, and still it left you with far more money than you had ever owned.
Min Yoongi hadn’t offered an explanation as to why he had paid you so much money. And you hadn’t asked for one yet, choosing to go to Hongdae to change your mind instead. To remind you that busking was who you were, even if you hadn’t rented an area for tonight.
No, tonight you would just walk around and watch people live their lives. Happy, smiling, unaware of the abyss you felt like you were drowning in.
Seeing Min Yoongi on your birthday had been a mistake. The anger had turned into something else, something far more intimidating. Disgust with yourself, with your acts and your choices. Regret that you hadn’t stopped when you should have, and that he hadn’t said anything before it was too late.
You wondered if he was back with the person that owned his heart. If you leaving like that had pushed him back in their arms, if their relationship had found grounds to work again.
You were jealous. But also hurt… because Yoongi had been comfort. You wished you had told him, wish he had known what it had meant for you to be with him on your birthday like that. When you laid awake at night, sleep evading you, you wondered if it would have made a difference.
Would Min Yoongi have let you go on that dreadful dawn if you had told him?
You couldn’t know. But then again, sometimes, during those same sleepless nights, you wondered if it was too late. If there was a chance you could tell him. If he had chosen not to get back with his partner.
If he too sometimes laid awake at night thinking about your body against his.
Loneliness was making you go crazy inside.
You sighed, taking a deep breath of the fresh evening air. Hongdae was lively. Filled with laughter and chatter. And with your own dark cloud, that seemed to loom over you wherever you went now.
You were at a low point in life. You were aware of it. It was hard to see the good in things when you had turned your back on the little sense of company you had been able to find in Yoongi. Though he hadn’t really been company, no? Just a brief connection in a sea of temporary people.
Only Minhyuk stayed around, and he only did because he worked for you.
But the money… The money was more than you had ever thought you’d have. It made you wonder, was that what celebrities made when they worked together? Why such astronomical sums for people that didn’t even need money in the first place?
Or maybe Yoongi had known that you were struggling with money. Maybe that was his way of apologizing. You weren’t prideful enough to hate him for it. As a matter of fact, you had been debating calling him to thank him, or even going to his place. Maybe that was why you were in Hongdae after all.
Long walks to clear your mind usually always worked, didn’t they?
A couple in front of you burst out laughing, and the guy grabbed his girlfriend’s hand, pulling her in a hug. Public displays of affection were rare in Korea, but Hongdae held a different crowd. A looser one, that didn’t live up to the expectations of elders. It was a crowd you found you rather enjoyed, especially as you busked and they enjoyed your music.
You brought happiness to their lives, didn’t you? Why then was happiness evading you?
You scoffed, and the guy threw you a glance. Your eyes dipped to the floor, and you almost winced in embarrassment. You thought about telling him that you weren’t scoffing because of him, but it would have been useless, wouldn’t it?
His attention was already back on his girlfriend, as if he was but the mere moon and she the Earth. It was cute. It really was, in a heart-wrenching kind of way.
So much for dealing with loneliness alone, right?
You wanted to talk to Yoongi. Wanted to thank him, wanted to let him know he had been the first to make you feel something in a long time. Hell, you hadn’t had sex in over a year before him.
Could you just go and talk to him? Could you tell him that you had been too shaken that morning, and that you hadn’t been able to tell him the thoughts in your skull? Your imprisoned mind, clustered in a dark corner of your head, had been subdued to your loneliness.
Surely he would understand.
A group of friends walked past you, and their joy felt contagious. You wanted to cling to the feeling of your lips stretching into a smile, wanted to use the warmth they carried themselves with to forget the cold in you.
Being a lyricist made you far too dramatic for your own good, didn’t it? Because you could see around yourself, people that were alone too. Walking with their hands in their pockets, with light in their eyes as they watched the scene around you. It didn’t have to be a sad scene. You didn’t have to cling to the sadness.
It didn’t matter that it was your comfort zone. If you ever wanted to get better, you had to stop using it as a shield. Had to shrug the coat off, and step into the summer warmth, leaving the winter cold behind.
Only, it was still cold at this time of the year.
You thought about Minhyuk. Minhyuk, who had always believed in you. Who trusted that you would make it someday, that he just had to encourage you in the process. Minhyuk, who had fallen in love with one of his friends, and had a beautiful love story to call his now.
There was happiness in this world. And you weren’t selfish enough to believe you didn’t deserve happiness. It was just hard to find it when your family had forgotten about you, when you woke up to learn he belonged to another.
You didn’t have feelings for Min Yoongi. At least you tried to convince yourself of it. You didn’t really know what you felt. Only that what had happened on your birthday had to be caused by more than just the alcohol. Because it hadn’t been your first time being vulnerable and drunk in a man’s company. It had been your first time jumping on that man though.
You had enjoyed working with him. Had found his work ethic inspiring, and had felt as if your soul was singing whenever you worked on music together. There was something in Min Yoongi that resonated in you, as if his existence triggered a harmonious frequency inside of you. A terribly unprofessional harmonious frequency, yet you hadn’t found friction to slow it down. Only had your treacherous thoughts and sleepless nights.
Maybe talking to him would release you. Would free the mind that was clustered in your skull, would let it fly into the sky again, to soar above clouds and mountains and valleys.
You probably needed it. Needed to say thank you for the money, and tell him you would find the strength to listen to the song someday. Just not when you were already so vulnerable.
And a hidden, dark corner of your heart also wanted to tell him how you had felt that night. Wanted to tell him he was comfort personified, and that you were thankful you had had the chance to experience it, even if it had been but a mere, fleeting moment in your life.
A romantic through and through, weren’t you?
Or maybe it was just Hongdae’s air, and the ambiance it held. Of happiness, that you could find if only you reached out far enough.
And life was about risk, wasn’t it? If you never talked to Min Yoongi, never told him the thoughts in your imprisoned mind, then you would be stuck with them for the rest of your life. Stuck with their decaying form, until they turned your memory into a prison in and of itself too.
You didn’t want the memory of Min Yoongi to turn into decay. Wanted to remember the good parts of it and let go of the bad. He was the one saying he didn’t do regrets anymore, wasn’t he?
Maybe you didn’t have to regret this either. But for that, you needed to tell him the feelings in your mind.
You sighed, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Long walks really did wonders to you, didn’t they?
You should have left your apartment before.
Instead of beating yourself up for it, you took a few steadying breaths, before heading straight to the nearest subway station. It wasn’t particularly late, and by chance you’d get to his place before the hour would be indecent.
It wasn’t like night hours were indecent to Min Yoongi. He was a night owl, much like you were too. Him letting you in his condo the last time at such a late hour was proof enough of it.
It was in that mindset that you made your way to his condo, with no gifts this time. Considering where the last time had led you, you didn’t want to risk offering him anything. You just wanted to talk. To tell him thank you for that night. For making you realize that you weren’t quite alone in this big wide universe.
This time, Min Yoongi wasn’t outside when you arrived. It occurred to you that there was a possibility he wasn’t even home, but then again he had always come off to you as the kind of person that usually stayed in most of the time. So you walked into the building, nodding your head curtly at the security.
It was the same person you had seen the two other times you were here, and you had become familiar enough to them so that they’d let you pass without asking a question. You were glad for it – you didn’t know what you would have told them anyway. You had no business being here, belonged to an entire other world.
Still, you found yourself on Min Yoongi’s door mat. Fist hovering in front of the door, not daring to knock or ring the bell. You stayed there for a good five minutes, trying to assemble enough courage to make a move, but all you could do was stare.
It seemed staring was enough, because five minutes later, after you rang the bell, the door turned on its hinges, and Min Yoongi appeared.
His gaze widened, quite at the same time as yours did. Blood flushed your cheeks, and you let your hand fall at your side.
“Seonbaenim,” you greeted him, an echo of your greeting the last time you had seen him. Your lips stretched into an easy smile, and you wondered if your heart picking up its rate in your chest was a normal physiological response to the presence of Min Yoongi.
Maybe it was.
Yoongi didn’t move. In fact, he looked as if he was holding his breath, and as if all colour had leached from his features.
You understood why when a small figure appeared behind him, and all colour leached from your features next.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, and her eyes slid to you. “Who’s that?”
Your brain went empty. Entirely empty. There was the sound of ringing, but everything else was distant, as your vision blurred on the edges, until all there was was a tunnel leading right to Min Yoongi’s pretty features.
The moment stretched into infinity, and your heart rocked against your ribcage three times before Yoongi spoke. You didn’t hear his voice, only saw the lips you had been kissing just a couple of weeks ago moving. And then the pretty girl disappeared from view, features casted into a frown, and all that was left was Min Yoongi and you. Him, inside of his home; you, in the hallway.
It felt like two entire different worlds.
“I didn’t know you were going to come,” he said.
Sensations rushed back to you, and your gaze dropped to the floor.
“I…” you trailed off.
“Is it about the song?”
All you could do was nod, as you blanched standing there. And you did blanch, as if all your blood had exited your body. It was dizzying, and oxygen felt foreign in your lungs.
He led you inside. Right to the studio. You could hear the girl talking as you made your way there, likely to the dog from the sounds of it. And then Yoongi shut the door of his studio, and the sounds faded to nothing.
“I’m sorry.”
It was all he said, as you just stood there not knowing where to look. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing if it was right for you to be in here.
“Oh,” you let out. You wet your lips – had they been so dry this whole time? “I came to say thank you for the money.”
He watched you carefully for a few beats of silence, before replying, “You deserved it”.
You chuckled. Bitterly, achingly, or somewhere in between. “I’m not sure I’m worth all of that.”
“I paid you the amount of money your work is worth,” he declared simply. He moved in the room, sitting in the chair in front of the desk. “It was the right thing to do.”
You slowly nodded, before glancing over your shoulder. “Is that…”
You didn’t have to finish your sentence for him to understand. He looked apologetic, once your gaze settled on him again.
“It is,” he confirmed.
It had no business hurting as bad as it did, and yet you felt as if your heart was ripped in two. “Oh.”
His hands were folded in his lap, his shoulders hung low. He looked horrified, somehow, as if only then realizing that all that had happened was wrong. Wrong, and the kind of thing one should regret.
“Have you listened to the song?”
You held his gaze for as long as your heart could manage, before letting it drop to the comfort of the rug on the floor. “No. We probably shouldn’t release it.”
You felt out of breath. The breakthrough you had had while in Hongdae was foreign now, as if it had happened to someone else. Loneliness caught up to you, and all you could do was watch the fall as it happened.
“I’ll put it on hold.” He sounded disappointed, and he wasn’t looking at you anymore when your eyes flitted to him.
How had he been comfort? He was all but comfort now, the source of the ever-growing loneliness that was seeping through every inch of you.
“Thank you.”
Another silence. You were drowning. Drowning in the heaviness in you. It was like quick sands – nothing could stop the sinking, the fall. Falling and falling. You had thought you would fall into him, hadn’t wanted to let yourself formulate the thought, but the hope had been there. The hope had been there, and now you were falling away from him.
“Listen,” Yoongi started. He paused, ran a hand through his hair, folded his arms on his chest, let his fingers fall back into his lap. “I am sorry.” He wet his lips, and you found the strength to look at him. He wasn’t looking at you, and it didn’t seem as if he’d ever have the courage to do it. “I don’t want us to be left on bad terms.”
“We are nothing to each other, aren’t we?” you commented, voice sounding strangely high even to your own ears. “It doesn’t really matter.”
“I honestly didn’t think you were going to come back.”
“I never should have been here in the first place.”
His eyes kept at their journey on the rug, as if he could see lines down there, or maybe one of those drawing you traced with numbers. It was hard to know what he could imagine, hard to know the thoughts in his head.
Could he tell you were falling?
“I know,” he said. His voice was tired, exhausted, remorseful. For someone that didn’t want to regret anything, you could tell he was regretting this, far more than you had expected he would. “She came back two days ago.”
So, if you had been there a week ago, the end would have been different? Now, where would you be when the end came? Alone, as always.
“I’m happy for you.” You surprised even yourself at how genuine you sounded. Maybe because it truly was genuine. Min Yoongi deserved to have someone that loved him around. Someone he loved too. After all he had been through, he deserved it.
He said your name. Intimately, not with any formalities he usually reserved for it. It hurt, far more than everything before. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“It’s going to be okay,” you reassured him, even if it sounded false. “It was one night, I’m just a little… shocked.”
You tried to play it cool with a smile, but his eyes were still stubbornly following the lines of his invisible drawing, so he didn’t see it.
“I understand.”
You weren’t sure if he really understood. You didn’t even know what there was to understand. You had slept with Min Yoongi once when you had both been vulnerable, and he had fixed his relationship after. It was just life. You weren’t one to catch feelings easily. He had just been comfort, and it always hurt when comfort was ripped from you, didn’t it?
It was going to pass. Even now, a few minutes later, it was lesser. The initial ache in your heart turning dull, and oxygen returning to your lungs and blood. It didn’t quite feel like drowning anymore, and you could watch him without feeling like your heart was going to stop.
No, you just wanted to go home and forget this ever happened. Blame it all on a fever dream, and move on with your life.
“It was nice to work with you,” you said. Your voice had returned to its normal tone, and you took in a steadying breath. “I’m going to treasure the memory.”
At that he looked at you. “So will I.”
You exchanged a long look. Filled with words unsaid, with possibilities that could have happened had you never left that morning, or had you come back before. Had he been waiting for you? Had he considered not getting back together with her if you were to come first? It was hard to tell, and yet it didn’t make you feel anything. No, the initial shock and hurt really had dwindled away, because you were even able to smile at him, a tight-lipped smile but one nonetheless.
Or maybe your coping mechanism had just come in clutch, pushing all emotions to the deep, dark depths of your heart.
“Thank you for giving me this opportunity.”
He slowly nodded. “You deserved it. You really did.” He seemed to consider it for a time, before he added, “You are an amazing artist. I’ll be on the lookout for what you release next”.
You chuckled. “We’ll see what I come up with.” You looked around, committing the setting to memory. Committing Min Yoongi to memory, him and his long hair and sad eyes.
“If you ever want to release the song, just let me know,” he said.
You weren’t sure that would ever happen, but if it could ease the remorse in his sad gaze then you would give it to him. “I will, I promise.”
He nodded once more, wetting his lips. “And if you ever need anything, I’m just a call away.”
A call and a world away. Min Yoongi wouldn’t be your comfort. Had probably never been comfort to you, you had just been blinded by the loneliness of your birthday.
“Right back at you,” you said, because it was the civilized thing to say. “I doubt I have anything that you might need though.” It was said like a joke, but it landed in deaf ears, because Yoongi just looked sadder.
“You would be surprised.”
Four words that you hated. That you found yourself to hate for a long time, after you left Min Yoongi’s place that night. Never looking back, not even as you walked outside, each step feeling like another crevice forming, until you were back to that same pathetic lonely self you had been before him.
You were going to need to pick your pieces up yourself, were you?
 *****
 Present day
                 Doing interviews still felt foreign. Strange, as if they were meant for someone else than you. Someone that existed a year ago, someone that was just a regular busker.
Not someone that had just sold out an entire concert venue. It still felt unreal, and you always thought you were going to wake up from the dream some day. Thing was, you only woke up to more comments, to more views on your videos.
All thanks to a certain BTS member you had been trying to forget. Three months ago, Min Yoongi had mentioned you in an interview. It had been uncalled for, out of nowhere really. He had been asked what inspired him with his music and he had said fellow artists. When the interviewer had pushed for names, it was yours that Yoongi had given, and Army had immediately jumped on the boat.
Until you were the talk of Korea as the new soloist that everyone needed to know. It was crazy, how your life had changed in just a few months. Now, people recognized you when you walked in the street, fans asked for your pictures. You didn’t know if you liked it, but it was a dream come true.
Your parents had called you, once. You hadn’t picked up, and they hadn’t tried again. You lived in blissful peace now, without the money problems you had had last year, without the fear that one day you would just lose it all. In truth, the fear still existed, but it was more distant. You were a rising star, and for now you didn’t think you had reached the top yet. No, you were still shooting up, and you were willing to work your ass off to make sure you wouldn’t fall back down.
You deserved the success you were having. Had worked blood and sweat to get that success.
You hadn’t talked to Yoongi after. People had suggested collaborations, Armys had posted edits of you (of you?!) next to Min Yoongi all over the Internet. Videos of you busking had gotten millions of views, and Minhyuk was doing his best job to make sure to shut down any hate before it reached you.
You still saw some comments sometimes, but you didn’t really care. You couldn’t be liked by everyone, and that was just life. You had long accepted such a thing.
But yes, doing interviews felt strange. Especially as people tried to desiccate your past, to find every little truth there was to know about you. You were good at keeping most of the truth to yourself, just giving them little snippets of your life here and there to make the fans feel like they knew you.
You were pretty sure none of them knew your loneliness though. Loneliness that was a lot more bearable now that you weren’t struggling with money anymore, come to think of it.
The questions you hated the most were those about Yoongi. And you got a lot of them, especially from male interviewers. They tended to ask questions that were a lot more sexist than their female counterparts, who usually focused on your work instead of on your life. But the male interviewers came with the rest, and even if you had asked Minhyuk to try and filter most of them out, you still had to answer some questions once in a while.
That was how you found yourself on a talk show you had only watched behind the screen of your computer before, sitting across a famous host that had been asking increasingly more personal questions as the hour that you were to spend with him slowly passed.
It was awkward, yet you tried to be your most friendly self, to smile when you were supposed to and to laugh politely whenever he made a joke you personally thought to be degrading. You were relieved when he finally concluded the interview, and you dipped behind the scene as soon as you were allowed, heading straight to the refreshment table.
You were gulping down a water bottle when a familiar figure moved out of the hallway leading to the dressing rooms. Minhyuk sported a toothy grin, and he stopped next to you as you finished the water.
“You were fantastic,” he complimented you. “How can you be so good at this?”
He had asked that same question numerous times already, and you still didn’t have the answer for it. You had always been a huge introvert, yet whenever cameras shone their light on you, you found courage in you to act and pretend to be at your most comfortable.
Only the people that knew you the best could see through the mask, and though Minhyuk knew, he still was amazed that you could just do it like that.
You shrugged, winking at him as you put the water bottle away in a recycling bin. “I don’t know.” You sighed, glancing over your shoulder at the host of the show. He was walking towards you, and you immediately hated the look on his face as he beelined towards you.
He stopped a little too close for comfort, with a placid smile on his lips that felt wrong.
“You’re good at avoiding juicy questions, aren’t you?” It was said like a joke and his eyes even sparkled as he let out a small laugh.
Immediately, you let the camera-adequate you take the lead, and you echoed his laugh. “I want my personal life to stay personal,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.
The host nodded, glancing at Minhyuk as your manager moved next to you. “But seriously, how did Min Yoongi come to know you? I still can’t wrap my head around it.”
You pursed your lips, the perfect picture of indifference, even though Yoongi’s mention still felt a little strange. “Honestly, I don’t know. I am very flattered that he likes my music enough to say he’s inspired by it.”
The host looked at you suspiciously, as if he was trying to read between the lines, between the words you had said to find the truth about you and Min Yoongi.
You didn’t think anyone but you and Yoongi really knew the truth. Even Minhyuk didn’t know everything, and he was your manager.
“When’s the collab going to drop?” the host continued. “Surely you must be working on something.”
You shrugged. “I can’t say we are planning to release something together, unfortunately. We’ve never worked on anything together.” An easily crafted lie, that you had said so many times in the last three months that you almost believed it now.
You had yet to listen to the song you had made together. Had buried the file away in your computer, somewhere you had tried to forget as best as you could. It hadn’t really worked, especially not now that Yoongi was mentioned to you almost daily.
“That’s a shame, I’m pretty sure lots of people would love to see such a collab,” the host said pensively. He then offered you a smile he probably thought was kind, but mostly looked paternalistic. “You should try to get him to collab with you, it’d give you a lot of visibility.”
You wanted to tell him you didn’t need visibility, but it was a lie. Well, maybe not anymore, because Yoongi had already given it to you.
You wondered what had brought him to mention you. What journey his mind might have taken to lead to you, when he knew damn well what had happened with you was unprofessional. Maybe it was his way of apologizing, of giving you the little something that he could even though you hadn’t contacted him about the song. Maybe he even believed it would make you change your mind about the song, but that was unlikely.
Not when it could make people say that you were only using Yoongi for clout. No, you wanted your success to be all yours now that he had opened the door for you. It wasn’t like you had asked him to, so it wasn’t using him, right?
Minhyuk’s phone started ringing, taking you out of your reverie, and he stepped away to answer the call. He got lots of calls now, and every day it seemed like there was more. More that people wanted to know, wanted to see or wanted to hear.
It was unlikely that it’d stop someday. But it was okay. Being in constant motion kept you from feeling your usual loneliness. Made it lesser, smaller, until it was so easily ignored you almost thought it was absent.
The host dug his phone out of his pocket, and you watched as his eyes skimmed the screen, before looking at you with a delighted smile. You furrowed your brows, but you didn’t have time to say anything before Minhyuk let out a cheer as he jogged back to you.
“You are never going to believe this!”
You looked at him with a slightly widened gaze, glancing at the host once. “What?”
“You’ve been nominated as rookie of the year for MAMA.”
Your mouth fell open, quite at the same time as your heart stopped beating in your chest. “What?”
Minhyuk nodded quickly, and he pulled you into a crushing hug. “Look at you! I knew you were going to make it.”
You laughed, pushing on his chest so he’d release you from his hold. “Are you sure?”
You couldn’t really believe it. It didn’t make sense to you, and all you could do was meet Minhyuk’s gaze as his eyes filled with proud tears.
“He’s right,” the host said. He raised his phone, showing the screen to you. Sure enough, you read the article that had just come out, and your name was the first thing that caught your attention. Then everything blurred behind a wall of unexpected tears, and you let out a disbelieved laugh.
“How?”
Minhyuk shrugged his shoulders, smiling fondly. “Because you’re the best at what you do?”
Both of you knew you had Min Yoongi to thank for that. Hell, without him mentioning you three months ago you would probably have given up on making music all together. But no, he mentioned you, and you skyrocketed, your music even making it to the radio.
It was unbelievable, and it seemed new heights could be reached. Because MAMA was a lot of visibility, and publicity too. A room, full of other artists, and you were one of the nominees? It truly was a dream, wasn’t it?
You could only thank your lucky star for it, though you’d never go to the extent of thanking Min Yoongi, would you?
 *****
                 You had been hesitating for a few hours now. Watching your phone, reading Yoongi’s contact on the screen, and then shutting off the device to focus on the lyrics you were currently writing. It was hard to focus – your mind just kept going back to Min Yoongi.
You didn’t know if you wanted to thank him. To tell him this was all thanks to him. It felt too real, like acknowledging it would take your success away. And you couldn’t lose it – it was one of the last things you had.
Your mother had tried to call you, the day after you learned that you were nominated as rookie of the year. You had sent her straight to voicemail, like you’d been doing for a while anyway. You deleted the voicemail without listening to it, uncaring of what she would have to say to you.
Nothing would ever make you want to have her in your life again, in any way whatsoever. She was dead to you, and you wanted it to stay that way.
You sighed, and your eyes fell to the paper you were writing on. Your handwriting looked more like scribbles, and you had doodled some flowers at the top of the page, as if they’d help you find some inspiration. Needless to say, they hadn’t, as your thoughts always trailed back to Yoongi.
You looked at the two lines you had already written. The only two lines your brain had been able to come up with in the last three hours since you’d sat down.
In the land where no one knows my name
I seek a path that leads to a city
You didn’t like it. Something about the two lines didn’t work together, and you decided to strike through the last word. Because what city was it supposed to represent? Seoul? You’d been in Seoul for so long it didn’t seem quite right anymore. Unless the city represented something else entirely. Perhaps a dream?
You sighed once more, replacing the word city with dream.
In the land where no one knows my name
I seek a path that leads to a dream
You already liked it more. You replaced the ‘a’ in front of ‘dream’ to ‘my’ before humming it out loud. You knew you’d still have to tweak it a little, but already the next lines started forming in your head.
In the land where no one knows my name
I seek a path that leads to my dream
Bright light and Heaven’s door
I knock and scream at them to open
In a world where no one knows my name
I can almost hear Heaven’s choirs
You’d think they’d ring true and high
But I think they’re the devil in disguise
They push me out and in the mud
I beg on my knees, they don’t hear me
In the land where no one knows my name
I’m the scraps that you’ve thrown away
They say one day I’ll understand
But I’ll be the one to make the rules now ay
It always hit you like that. Once the inspiration found you, you couldn’t really stop. You had to put the words on paper, ink staining your hand as you barely let it dry. You wrote quickly, eyes not blinking, brain entirely zeroing in on the spot where the tip of your pen kissed the paper, tracing the curves of the words you were ingraining.
It was an exciting feeling. Because yes, you felt like your success was all you had left, but it was a lie. Because even without your success, you’d still have this. Your pen against the paper, the flow of words spilling out of you like an overflowing glass, nothing but you and the lyrics.
It was your home when you were younger, and you knew it would always be your home. Music, that is, and the lyrics that found their way out of the confines of your skull.
You reread the verse, smiling to yourself. You knew it would likely change a little by the time you’d consider the song ready, but for a first draft you really did like the sound of it.
Especially considering it had helped you escape the will to contact Min Yoongi.
Your eyes slid to the window of your apartment. The sun was setting outside, coloring the world in shades of gold that made it feel like you could conquer it, if you so wanted. You felt infinite then, as if the start and the end happened all at once, and never at the same time. Like there was just this moment, right now, and nothing else, but also everything else. Every little moment, stretching into infinity.
It was a recurring feeling to you, whenever you found your inspiration, like it was some old friend coming home.
Once the sun was fully set, dusk settling on the world outside, you focused back on your apartment. You had to cook dinner soon, but somehow the idea of it exhausted you. Perhaps because you had used a lot of brain power on the song, and now you just wanted to rest. You figured ordering some food tonight would be okay, and you ordered fried chicken as you moved to your couch. You turned on the TV, moving to a channel that played some drama you’ve been invested in, and you watched the show for a while, up until the fried chicken was delivered.
You were on your way back up to your apartment when your phone lit up in your hand, and you almost threw it across the hall when you saw the name on the screen.
It made no sense. Like you had summoned him from the depths of your skull. Like you had passed the itch to call to him, and unlike you he hadn’t been able to resist the urge.
You picked up the call, hands shaking lightly, as you neared your apartment door.
“Hello?”
There was a short silence, and then the unmistakable deep voice of Min Yoongi filled your ears. “Hey, Y/n.”
Your throat felt dry, a lump keeping you from swallowing properly. It indeed made you gulp, and you could only hope that he hadn’t heard.
“How have you been doing?” he asked.
You stopped in front of your door, putting the fried chicken down long enough so you could dial your password and push the door open. “I’ve been great,” you replied truthfully, because there was no use to lie to him.
You still were lonely, but it was easier now.
“I’m glad,” he pensively said. It took him a while to speak again, but once he did he said, “I wanted to congratulate you for being nominated as rookie of the year.”
You blushed, immediately embarrassed, even though you were walking in your apartment and no one could see you. You put the fried chicken down on the counter, and then headed to a cupboard to grab a plate.
“Thank you,” you told him. “I think it’s… because of you.”
He chuckled, deeply, and the sound brought you right back to that night you had spent in his bed. Your blush turned furious, and you gulped once.
“You’re getting the success you deserve, as an artist. It’s all you.”
“Right. No one would know about me if you hadn’t mentioned me that one time.”
You heard him sigh, and regretted how your words had come out aggressive. “I just told the truth.” He paused, and you could almost hear his brain work as he figured his next words carefully. “Your music does inspire me.”
“Seonbaenim…” you trailed off.
“Ah, no need to call me that anymore,” he gently said. “We’re equals now.”
You doubted you’d ever be his equal, but you still let out a nervous chuckle. “Okay, sorry.”
“It’s all good.”
Another awkward silence followed, as you put your plate down on the coffee table in your living room. You had gotten a nicer apartment once the money had started to come in, which meant you finally had more than just one room – an improvement that you still were struggling to wrap your head around.
You went back to the kitchen to grab the fried chicken, and then you settled on the floor, next to the coffee table.
“I was wondering…” Yoongi finally said, and you almost startled at the sound of his voice, as if you had forgotten he was on the other side of the line. “Would you like to… grab dinner one of these days? To celebrate your nomination.”
“Dinner? Us two?
He chuckled once more. “Now that I’m thinking of it, it might be coming out of nowhere to you.” He laughed, and you wondered if he was blushing just as furiously as you were.
Because you weren’t expecting him to want to see you again. It made you think of his girlfriend, and you couldn’t help but wonder if they were still together, or if they were broken up now. You didn’t think he’d suggest dinner if they were still dating, but it was hard to tell.
Maybe that was his way of making things professional with you again, because he wanted to release the song.
“Is it…” you trailed off, struggling to find the words. “Is it to discuss the song?”
You were pretty sure you could hear him gulp. “Ah, nah, the song doesn’t matter. I’m not going to force you to release it, not when you’ve made it clear you’re not interested. I just thought… you deserve to celebrate?” He paused, just long enough to collect his thoughts before he continued. “Unless you’re already celebrating? You have a manager, right?”
You didn’t think you had ever heard Yoongi string so many words one after the other before, except when he was rapping or singing. It made you laugh anxiously once more, though you reckoned the anxiety was slowly dwindling to nothingness.
“I do,” you answered. “But I’m not celebrating with him. We’ve never really hung out outside of work stuff before.”
“That could be considered as an important work event, no?” Yoongi pointed out. “Your first nomination… it always means a lot.”
You nibbled at your bottom lip, eyes reading the words on the unopened box of fried chicken again and again. “It does,” you admitted, voicing it for the first time. “I…” Your eyes filled with tears, and you took a deep, steadying breath. “I still can’t believe it.”
His voice was kind when he spoke again. “It’s hard to believe it at first,” he said, gently. “That’s why you deserve to celebrate.”
“But why… Why with you? We’re not even friends. Barely work acquaintances at best, especially after…”
You didn’t finish your sentence, and it seemed it had stunned Yoongi into silence, because he didn’t say anything. Didn’t reply, and for a moment you imagined that he had hung up. But he hadn’t, so you waited patiently.
“I have to admit,” Yoongi said, his voice infinitely small. “I’ve been thinking about you. I’m sorry for how things went between us. I guess I’m trying to make amends? And I really want to make sure you celebrate this nomination the right way.”
“Isn’t that weird though, considering what happened?”
He pondered for a time. “Maybe. It’s only weird if we let it be weird.”
He wasn’t wrong, but you still didn’t know why he wanted to be the one celebrating with you. You barely knew each other, outside of the song you had worked on and that night you had slept together. He didn’t know about what you did for fun, about what you liked and disliked. Could only imagine what your relationship with your family was, if he listened to the song closely. Yes, he could relate to your love for music, as he had the same one, but he still didn’t know you.
Had that night with you mattered to him, too? Had he felt comfort when he was by your side, in the soft sheets of his bed?
“Right,” you let out. “I just… I don’t know. What about your…”
“Oh.” He paused, sighing. “We broke up months ago.”
Your eyes widened, the revelation giving you hope that you hated. You weren’t sure you were supposed to be hopeful right now. But he still had called you, right? Still wanted to celebrate with you, no?
“Oh,” you echoed. “I’m sorry.”
“It was my decision,” he admitted. “You made me realize some stuff… but I’d rather talk about it in person?”
So that was the reason why he wanted to see you after all. And somehow, it made your initial reticence disappear, until you found yourself saying, “Sure. I think that could be a good idea.”
You could hear the relief in his voice as he spoke. “Great! Would you want to come over? I could cook you a nice meal.”
You smiled, softly. “You want to cook me a meal? We could just go to a restaurant and…”
But you couldn’t, right? People could recognize you, paparazzi could take pictures of you, rumours could blossom left and right.
“You know what?” you added before he could say something. “Yes, I’d like to come over. I’ll find a nice bottle to drink?”
“Sounds good,” he agreed. “Are you available sometime this week?”
As you scheduled your dinner with Min Yoongi, you wondered if he could hear the wild beats he had ignited in your chest. You wondered if he could hear the hope in your voice, hope that you tried to push away. Because the last time you had been hopeful, you had ended up hurt, badly. Way more than you had been before he had come into your life. You didn’t want to give him this power over you once more, and so you promised yourself one thing, and one thing only.
You would only be friends with him this time around. Nothing more. Because your self-preservation came first.
 *****
                 Yoongi didn’t move, in the few months you didn’t talk to him. He still lived at that same fancy building you had used to hate, yet now you lived in a similar one. Not quite as expensive, and your apartment didn’t lay on two stories like his condo did, but making your way to his place wasn’t quite as anxiety-inducing as it had been then.
You had told Minhyuk that you were going to visit Min Yoongi. It felt like you needed him to know, now that you were famous enough to get recognized. Not enough for the receptionist to let you pass though. Indeed, the lady stopped you as you were walking in, clutching an expensive bottle of wine in your clammy hands.
“Excuse me,” she said, and your eyes widened as you turned to look at her.
You stopped in your tracks, and your heart picked up its pace in your chest. “Yes?”
“You don’t live here.”
The sudden will to reply ‘Obviously’ almost made you blurt it out, but you swallowed the word like a lump in your throat, glancing towards the elevator.
“I’m visiting a friend,” you told her, though you hesitated on the last word.
Because Min Yoongi wasn’t really a friend. Yet at least. And you reckoned you had no idea if he’d be one someday, especially after what had happened a few months back. You had been hopeful since your call on the phone, but ever since this morning you rather felt anxious, like you were about to be swallowed up by the ground never to be seen again.
Still, you stood strong, head up high as the lady eyed you up and down.
“And who is that?” she asked, an eyebrow cocked as she clearly didn’t believe you.
It might have been your fault. You had decided not to wear too expensive clothes, because you still weren’t used to even having some. Indeed, you had been receiving designer clothes by a couple of different brands, but you had yet to sign with one, feeling a little too overwhelmed from it. You had never been big on fashion after all, and if it wasn’t for Minhyuk’s suggestions, you were pretty sure you would have had more than one faux pas so far.
“Uh,” you let out, and your eyes dropped to the wine bottle. “Min Yoongi,” you revealed, and somehow you wondered if you just looked like a crazy fan.
Did it happen, sometimes? Did fans try to visit him, pretending they knew him?
The lady’s gaze narrowed as you looked up at her, trying to appear as convincing as you could. “He didn’t mention he had a friend coming over.”
Maybe you had grown lucky after all these years of bad luck. Maybe your stars had finally aligned, maybe the ocean’s waves were finally beating the shore in your favour. Because Min Yoongi stepped in from the outside world, hair ruffled by the wind, with a slight flush to his cheeks as if he’d been rushing home.
At the sight of the wine bottle in his hands, you assumed he was.
“Seonbaenim,” you instinctively said as a way of greeting, as your heart decided it was time to run wild.
He looked better than you remembered him to be. Healthier, as if the months had been good to him. And maybe they had been, the same way that they had been for you.
“I told you not to call me that,” he reminded you, after a few silent seconds of him just staring at you. “You can call me Yoongi.”
It was way too casual for you, so you just nodded your head as your cheeks burned.
Yoongi made his way towards you, nodding at the receptionist. You had half a thought of saying ‘told you so’, but you refrained, choosing peace over war. In truth, you weren’t quite sure you could speak right now, as your heart just kept rushing on and on as if it was running the last few miles of a marathon.
Silence was all that accompanied you and Min Yoongi on the elevator ride up to his condo, though once the doors slid open, he glanced at you. You wondered if it was blush dusting his cheeks or if the wind had been colder outside than what you had thought.
“How are you?” he asked, and as soon as your gaze met his, he looked away.
You gulped down the anxiety, before saying, “I’m okay. How are you?”
“Great.”
You followed him out of the elevator, all the way to his door before you managed to speak again. “You got some wine? I thought I was the one that was supposed to bring it.”
He chuckled, shyly. “Just trying to be a good host.” He dialed his code in, before pushing the door open. “After all, aren’t we supposed to be celebrating you tonight?”
You pursed your lips, walking in behind him. “Well,” you choked out, before gulping down another lump. “I wouldn’t have gotten nominated if it weren’t for you, as I said before.”
“Oh please,” he let out as he kicked his shoes off, and you quickly did the same. “How many times will I have to tell you that it was all you?”
You shrugged, and your eyes slid to the stairs, picturing him there all those months ago. It made your gaze drop to the ground, and the heaviness of his gaze on your profile told you that he had noticed.
“Was it?” you said, chuckling awkwardly as you tried to keep the atmosphere light. “It rather feels like it was all thanks to your interview.”
He shrugged it off, sliding his feet in a pair of slippers. “You can grab those slippers.”
Your eyes moved to a lonely pair closer to the door, and you nodded.
“I really was thinking of cooking something?” Yoongi said as you were putting on the slippers, and you wondered if he was purposefully ignoring what you had said. “I’m not big on take-out, but I do like to cook.”
You truly met his gaze for what felt like the first time tonight, even though it really wasn’t, and it felt like the whole world had slowed. Like the lights had dimmed, and the walls and art decorating them had gone out of focus. The only thing you could see was his soft gaze, and the way he had a small, shy smile on his lips. You were pretty sure you could count the lashes on his eyes, and it made you feel like you were falling forward, while simultaneously staying in place. Like motion sickness, and you blinked a few times as your gaze dropped to the floor once more, too much of a coward to hold his.
“Sure, I’d love to cook,” you replied, worrying at your bottom lip. “I can help.”
At that, a true, bright smile moved on his features, and it made the room feel warmer, cozier. “Then let’s go cook, Y/n.”
The way he said your name had your insides go molten, and it took you a good few seconds before you actually managed to follow him as he walked towards the kitchen. And that was how you found yourself cooking with him, talking about everything and nothing with just a little bit of awkwardness clinging to the air. You didn’t think it was a bad thing – it was only normal after the months and what had happened. After all, even then you hadn’t been particularly close to him. Yes, that night, he had been comfort personified, but you rather thought that It was only because you had no comfort in your life then. Nothing to cling to to make you want to get up day after day.
One full glass of wine later, as food was sizzling in a pan on the oven, Yoongi leaned against the counter, looking at you. You felt shy under his gaze, and you busied yourself by refilling the glasses. It didn’t help, as it forced you to step closer to him, but at least it occupied the silence for a time.
“How have you been adjusting to this?” he asked, motioning around him.
You were aware he wasn’t talking about his kitchen, but rather about your new life. It made you ponder for a time, because you thought you were adjusting well, though you weren’t quite sure if it was just an act. It was still too early to tell, and you didn’t have it in you to lie to Min Yoongi.
“Honestly,” you let out, slowly, as your eyes got lost in the rich colour of the wine. “It’s been easy, so far. But I don’t even know if it’ll last? And each time I do an interview, or talk in front of people, it just feels like someone else takes over. I’m not even sure it’s me.”
He remained silent for a while, making you feel as if you blurting out your truth was a little too real for the relationship you currently had with him – which was none, you reckoned. You saw him take a sip of wine from the corner of your eyes, and it took him a moment before he swallowed. Once he did, he finally spoke up, making relief flood through you.
“I understand,” he said. “More than you can imagine. I’ve felt this way since I debuted with Bangtan all those years ago. Struggled with it a lot if I’m honest.”
You worried at your lip, slowly nodding your head. “And how have you adjusted?”
He smiled, softly. “All thanks to the members. They supported me when things got rough. Made sure I was never alone, and helped me to be comfortable with my public persona.”
You could taste the slight tang of jealousy on your tongue, yet you pushed it away, ignored it as best as you could. “I can imagine. It must have been… great, to have all of them around as you climbed the ladder to success.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, tilting his head to the side. “That’s… why I wanted to make sure you weren’t alone in this?”
He looked startled, for a few seconds, eyes a little wide as his mouth fell open. He had a line of red wine drying on his lips, and your gaze focused on it as your brain took the words in, spinning them around until they made no sense whatsoever.
“I…” you trailed off. “Why?”
He sighed, probably realizing that he had been too upfront. “No one should be alone in this,” he carefully said, and he turned away from you to check the food on the stove.
It smelled delicious, but he must have deemed it wasn’t ready, because he put the lid back on the pan and faced you again.
“And I know… I know we shouldn’t be talking about the song,” he continued. “But I also heard your lyrics.”
Lyrics of loneliness and despair you had spat in his mic that day you had come to record. On your birthday, the epitome of loneliness every year.
“You did,” you said, shying from his gaze once more. You took a sip of the wine, let it roll on your tongue, and then you spoke again. “It hasn’t been as bad as before,” you admitted, carefully. “It doesn’t feel as lonely as before. I think it’s because I’m not struggling with everything else anymore. Like… financially, and all that. I used to not even know when my next meal was going to be, and now I can always order or cook if I have time for groceries.”          
The kind smile on Yoongi’s lips felt like the warm rays of a spring sun, and you couldn’t help the shy smile that grew on your own lips. “It does help,” he said. He glanced at the food, before settling his gaze back on you. “I bet you’ve been feeling like you are running out of time, though.”
“Gosh,” you let out, and you laughed awkwardly. “Yeah. It feels like I always have schedules to do, and whenever I don’t I feel bad if I’m not working on new lyrics.”
“I totally get that.”
There was a silence, only interrupted by an alarm Yoongi had set for the rice cooker. He turned it off, and then his gaze slid to his kitchen table that still stood empty where it was a couple of meters away.
“Let me set the table,” he told you, not meeting your gaze, and then you spent the next few minutes watching him do so, feeling a little awkward in your spot in the kitchen. It was lessened when Yoongi put some music on, some chill beats that wouldn’t make the conversation hard.
“Thank you,” you told him when he moved back to the kitchen to check the food. “I could have helped.”
“No,” he said, reassuringly. “I told you, we’re celebrating you tonight. You already helped with cutting the vegetables.”
If someone could call your poor attempt at cutting the onions as help, then you would take the compliment. “Right,” you let out, laughing lightly.
And for the first time tonight it didn’t feel awkward or forced. It felt comfortable, as if watching Yoongi set the table, in the mundanity of the action, had brought back the comfort he radiated back then.
“Trust me,” he said, offering you a toothy grin.
It was surprising, and it did things to you that made your cheeks burn and your tongue ache for the taste of wine. So you took a long gulp, before moving to grab the bottle and place it on the table.
“Here, I’ve contributed,” you told him, and your nose was a little scrunched up, awkwardly so, when you looked at him again.
He laughed, a sound you reckoned you could get used to hearing, and then he started putting the food in bowls. “I don’t know what I would have done without your input.” He sounded sarcastic, teasing, and maybe, just maybe you really could be friends. “Thank you.”
“No problem, seonbaenim.” This time, you said the formal nickname teasingly, and he rolled his eyes, slightly shaking his head.
“You have to stop. You’re making me feel old.”
“Would you rather me calling you ahjussi?”
The way his smile fell to be replaced by a startled expression had you burst out a laugh that was nothing but feminine, one he joined after a few seconds.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” he asked, and you grinned at him as he carried the bowls to the table. “I see.”
The atmosphere shifted, after that. Conversation grew easier, not forced, and the exquisite taste of the food made you feel like maybe you could cook after all. You finished the first wine bottle as you ate, which you reckoned might have been a bad idea, because you were tipsy by the time Yoongi uncorked the second one, his cheeks having turned red from the few glasses he had already ingested.
“Are you sure we should be drinking that too?” you asked, and you giggled as he threw you a no-bullshit look.
“Celebrating, remember?” he replied. “We have to be getting drunk.”
“Just us two?”
His gaze widened slightly, and he put down the wine bottle. “Unless you don’t want to.”
You raised your glass, looking at the light over his kitchen island through it. “I do want to. Just feels like we should… not be stupid this time around, no?”
His features were somber when your gaze slid to him. “Right,” he said, slowly nodding. “I didn’t invite you over with any intentions, if that can reassure you.”
You were too tipsy for where the conversation was going, so you said, “I want to be your friend, Min Yoongi. Let’s not be professional this time. Let’s just be friends.”
His eyes lit up, slowly followed by a smile that took over his mouth in the most beautiful way. He looked heavenly, standing there, long hair behind his ears, pale, expensive Louis Vuitton sweater rolled on his forearms. He looked princely, like he had looked that night, and it made your gaze slide away.
For preservation, perhaps.
“I’d love to call you a friend,” he said, gently. “I’d really love to.”
You pursed your lips, steeling yourself for the glance you sent to him. “Then pour me some wine, Min Yoongi.”
He laughed, and soon enough he was back at the table next to you, talking about what growing up was for him. You could see the similarities in your past, and maybe that was why you had always been comfortable with him before. Because he really did understand where you were coming from, though he had been able to fix things with his family.
Which wasn’t something you ever wanted to do. You were content with not talking to them, and you were pretty sure that wouldn’t change. Especially not as the only reason why they were contacting you now was because they probably had heard about you on the television.
“I swear!” Yoongi said, slightly shaking his head, a long time after the conversation had shifted to anecdotes about his past and yours. “I’ve never seen anyone get so worked up about some bananas.”
You laughed, quickly followed by him. The retelling of a fight between Jungkook and Hoseok had you shedding a tear, and Yoongi watched you carefully as you dried it with the back of your hand.
“That is so stupid,” you commented.
He nodded wisely. “I know. But it’s been a long time. Jungkook-ie was mostly upset because it was a gift.”
You chuckled. “Bananas?”
“Yes.” Yoongi laughed, and then his eyes slid to your empty glass in front of you.
You were halfway through the second bottle, and the alcohol had been buzzing through your system. The scene had lost its focus around you, the wine fuzzing it up until all that was left were Yoongi’s pretty features. His cheeks had turned red a while ago, and you reckoned yours probably had too, sometime between your third and fourth glass. You didn’t really care – this Yoongi was comfortable, friendly. Something you had been needing more than you would have ever cared to admit – a friend.
You liked how easy it was, that friendship. And it really was, even in the days and weeks that followed you reconnecting with Yoongi. Like maybe that was what you had always been meant to be – friends, and nothing more.
He never talked to you about the song again. Never pressed you to listen to it, to release it, but if you were in his head you’d know that he was dying to drop it out of the blue, to have his fans know just what you felt, what he felt. Because the loneliness that had inhabited you when you had written your share of the lyrics was common to him, though it was growing less frequent now that you were in his life.
Min Yoongi really was comfort indeed.
 *****
             After weeks of talking once in a while, of hanging out even more rarely, with Yoongi’s and your busy schedule, MAMA arrived. You were anxious about it – it was your first award show after all. Yoongi was there in spirit to reassure you before, sending you an expensive whiskey bottle as a gift. He was getting ready with the members of BTS that were attending, which meant you weren’t going to see him before the ceremony. So all you did that day was prepare with a glam team hired by Minhyuk, and then you were driven to the venue where MAMA was held.
It was surreal, to sit in that venue. With the other artists, the whole scene of music that was Asia. You were sat next to Twice, a group you had never expected you’d see in real life. Sana and Jihyo congratulated you on your nomination, and you immediately went into camera mode, easy smile and bright eyes on display.
If you were honest, the camera mode was barely faked today. No, you rather were amazed by the scene, by the crowd and the buzzing of chatter and laughter. You awed at the sight of so many famous people, of Twice and Stray Kids and some groups you didn’t even know. You hadn’t realized you were part of it before today, and now you could see IU sitting on the other side of the venue, along with some people you didn’t recognize.
Imposter syndrome chose this moment to hit you. Out of nowhere, the way the first bolt of lightning strikes, even before the sound of thunder is heard. With clammy hands, you watched as the lights dimmed, and the crowd ushered until a spotlight shone on the animator of the evening. You barely could listen, barely could watch the groups performing. All you could think was that you were alone in this room, without anyone by your side.
Not even Minhyuk. And it wasn’t because he hadn’t wanted to – for some reason, he hadn’t received an invitation along with you. Something you didn’t quite understand, but didn’t really have anything to say about it. Because, after all, you were just a rising star, and rising stars tended to fall into darkness more often than not.
Why would you be any different?
You were starting to panic. You knew it, and yet you couldn’t help it. Sana must have noticed, because during a commercial break, she leaned closer to you.
“Hey,” she greeted you once more. “Are you okay? Do you need water?”
The whole of Twice turned towards you, and your eyes widened. “Uh,” you let out. “I don’t…”
But Jeongyeon was already extending a water bottle towards you, and you thanked her as you took it. Your hands shook a little as you uncapped it, but the first swig had the anxiety calm down, just enough for you to thank the girls again.
“It’s okay!” Sana reassured you. “We know how overwhelming this can be. Can’t imagine what it must be like for someone alone.”
You winced, glancing around. Your gaze stopped as it met Yoongi’s. He was not too far from IU, with the rest of the BTS members in attendance. You hadn’t noticed him before, perhaps because they had arrived late.
You had been so early you had been able to see everyone walking in.
Yoongi nodded his head at you, offering you a secretive smile. It grounded you in the present, and you finally felt the wave of panic recede, the way the ocean recedes at low tide. It calmed you down, and you found yourself able to actually enjoy the show from then on.
When it was time for the award for rookie of the year to be announced, anxiety returned to you. It wasn’t the same kind of anxiety – no, it was the kind that one anticipates, uses to push themselves forward. You leaned on the edge of your seat, almost imperceptibly, listening as they called out the names. Smiling shyly as they said your name, and the big screen shone with an image of you. You watched yourself, prettily sitting there, with your hair perfectly styled and makeup on fleek, feeling like you were watching someone else entirely. It was an out-of-body experience, somehow, especially as the camera you took over.
The crowd was silenced expectantly as the announcer opened the envelope, slowly. You thought you could hear the envelope tear. It was like it was echoing, on repeat like a song stuck in your head. All you could do was watch as they got the paper out, and when they said your name, loud and clear, your eyes widened as your lips parted slightly.
For an unknown reason, your head turned towards Sana first, and she offered you a bright smile as the room erupted into claps. You slowly got up, feeling thousands of eyes following your every move, and your own gaze slid to the other side of the room once more.
Yoongi was clapping, with the softest smile on his lips. It was a smile you rarely saw from him – it was fond, like you were the sun after a long night. He mouthed a congratulation, only meant for you – something personal, that you tucked in a safe corner of your heart. It made you stand straighter, and it guided you towards the scene as you walked to accept your award.
You bowed as you were handed the trophy, its weight surprisingly heavy as it landed in your hands, and you smiled widely as the announcer congratulated you. You thanked them, and then moved to the mic, letting the camera persona take over.
And take over she did, giving thanks to the people that helped you. You couldn’t resist but gaze towards Yoongi as you kept talking, and you had to bite your tongue not to thank him too. Because to you, it was thanks to him that you were standing there, in this spot. The winner of rookie of the year – a year ago, you were all but an unknown busker, barely getting by. And this year, you were shining in the light, rising towards the heavens.
An out-of-body experience indeed.
When it was done, you could barely remember anything. From the whole evening, if you were honest, as if it was too good to be true. You had been invited to an after-party, and on your way to it, after you had changed into a less formal attire, you found yourself coming back to your body.
You blinked once, twice, letting out a small, disbelieved laugh. The driver glanced at you, cocking an eyebrow in the rear-view mirror.
“Sorry,” you apologized, and then you let out another laugh. It sounded a little crazy, perhaps, but you didn’t care.
Your body was the vessel of a happiness it had never known before, and you were going to enjoy it. To drink it till the very last drop, because who knew when you’d feel like this again?
You got to the party, almost at the same time as another similar SUV. You smiled as you saw Sana and Jihyo come out, and they motioned for you to join them.
Another friendship you had never seen coming. But it blossomed easily, and they chatted and laughed and drank with you for a while. Long enough for you to forget that there was actually a reason why you had accepted the invitation to this after-party in the first place.
Min Yoongi was in attendance. And you thought you could feel the moment he walked into the place. As if the frantic energy lessened, somehow, and your eyes immediately searched for him. You saw Hoseok first, and he grinned as his gaze met yours, waving at you.
You waved back, which didn’t go unnoticed to Sana and Jihyo.
“You know Hobi-nim?” Jihyo asked, pretty mouth forming a pout. “So the rumors are true after all.”
You winced. “The rumors are out of mind but yes, I do know Hobi-nim.” You did, from Yoongi. You had only met him twice before though.
You didn’t mind Jihyo’s comment. Mostly because it was said so genuinely, so nicely, with no ounce of jealousy or any other negative emotion behind. You didn’t think she had it in her anyway. Neither did Sana, who just said, “Rumors are always out of mind. Don’t pay attention to them.”
Easier said than done, but you still nodded your head, before glancing towards Hoseok again. This time, you noticed Jungkook and Yoongi too, and the latter offered you that same secretive and fond smile he had offered you earlier. It made something in you constrict, and blush crept on your cheeks.
“You can go with them, if you want,” Jihyo told you, noticing the emotions on your face. “This is a safe place for us celebrities to mingle.”
Sana chuckled. “We like parties like this. Makes us feel a little more normal.”
“Do they happen often?” you enquired, and you broke eye contact with Yoongi to meet the girl’s gaze.
“Not really,” she admitted. “Unfortunately.” It was her turn to look towards Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook, and then she added, “Do go with them. Yoongi-nim is looking this way.”
This time, you turned fully beet red, but luckily enough the expensive foundation on your skin held, hiding your emotions. To Sana’s eyes, perhaps, but you were pretty sure Jihyo knew.
And knew what? You didn’t even know. Yoongi was a friend, nothing more, and you liked it that way. You liked that you could count him as a friend, because God knew you needed friends in your life.
“Well then, better go talk to him before he makes rumors spread,” you joked, and the two girls laughed.
Before you went, you exchanged numbers with them, promising that you could meet up in the following days, and then you were off to meet Min Yoongi, where he stood close to a wall on the other side of the room.
He didn’t like parties. That much you knew. He had only decided to go because he wanted to be there for you, whether the outcome of the evening was positive or not. And it was positive, the brightest thing that had ever happened to you. An evening built of the stuff that makes the sun shine – bright, ever-lasting. You clung to that feeling as you reached Yoongi’s side, and Hoseok and Jungkook dipped as soon as you appeared, leaving you alone with Yoongi.
“Congratulations,” he said, this time aloud.
It still felt personal, and you tilted your head to the side, offering him a smile. “I should congratulate you. It’s because of you.”
He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “You know it was all you. You have to stop saying it was me.”
“Right.” You narrowed your eyes, imperceptibly. “Of course I won rookie of the year because I was busking in Hongdae.”
“Come on,” he let out. “We’ve been over this a thousand times.”
“And we’ll go over it a thousand times more until you accept that it’s because of you.”
He rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. “Right. Then why don’t we get a drink to celebrate me? Since it’s all because of me.”
You laughed, eyes sliding to the bar. “Whiskey?”
“Champagne?”
“You like champagne?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. But if we are celebrating something that didn’t happen, then we should drink something we don’t like.”
You cocked your head to the side once more. “What makes you think I don’t like champagne?”
“Do you?”
Your silence was answer enough for Yoongi. You both laughed, and then he motioned towards the bar. “After you.”
You nodded, slowly, and then moved towards the alcohol, and towards your salvation, maybe. Because though Yoongi had always felt like comfort, right now he felt different. New, a little like you had felt that night months ago.
The night you were trying not to think about, whenever you hung out with him. You had never talked about his ex either, as if the subject was taboo. And perhaps it was if you wanted to maintain a friendship with Min Yoongi.
“We’ll take two whiskeys,” Yoongi said as you reached the bar, and you threw him an offended look.
“Whiskey? I thought we were going for champagne.”
“I’ll be damned if you catch me drinking champagne,” he muttered.
It was said so adorably you widened your gaze, letting out a small laugh. “Maybe you’re already damned,” you said, and you raised your hand so the barmaid noticed you. “Can you change that for champagne, please?”
She nodded, and you turned back towards a bewildered Yoongi. “You…”
He fell silent, and you cocked an eyebrow. “Yes?”
He only snorted, shaking his head slightly as his eyes fell to the floor. “Nothing.”
You moved a little closer, trying to meet his gaze. “Right.”
He rolled his eyes, gently pushing you away. It was familiar, more familiar than your usual friendship, but it felt fitting for the night and its brightness.
Your champagne arrived, and you looked down at the golden liquid as Yoongi handed you your glass. Your fingers barely even touched, yet you felt the warmth of a thousand suns crawling up your arm, slowly. You would have flinched had the feeling not been so pleasurable, especially as Yoongi looked at you again.
He looked at you differently. Like it was his first time seeing you after a long time. Like you were a flower he had forgotten, years ago, and was now only seeing again. It made your heart stop in your chest, before it started again on an erratic beat.
“Enjoy,” he said, and he clinked his glass with yours before downing his own.
Your gaze widened as he put the glass down on the bar, wincing slightly. “What was that for?”
“Your turn.”
“What?” you let out, and you laughed.
His eyes were different again, familiar, when they looked at you this time. The eyes of the friend you had grown to know in the last few weeks. “Finish it, so we can get some real alcohol.”
“I don’t want to chug.”
“Why not?”
You pursed your lips. “I don’t want to get too drunk tonight.”
He remained silent for a time, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “Why not?”
Because. Because last time he had looked at you like this while you had been drinking had led to an unimaginable chaos, one you didn’t wish to revisit. No matter how comfortable he was, Yoongi was always going to just be a friend.
“I want to remember tonight,” you chose to say, carefully. “I’ve already forgotten most of the award show, I don’t want to forget the after-party too.”
He laughed, a clear sound that was meant just for your ears, in the loud music playing in the party. It was almost your first time noticing the beat since you had joined Yoongi, as if you had joined him in a pocket outside of this room.
Crashing back to reality had you look down at your glass. And then you knocked it back, chugging it in a few long sips as Yoongi watched you with a widened gaze.
“You didn’t have to do this,” he said as you put it down. “Let’s get you some water.”
“Why?” you asked. “Why do you care if I remember or not?”
Your tone had changed. He noticed it right away, and he stilled in front of you, turning to stone. “Because you’re my friend?” he answered carefully. “If you want to remember, then the good friendly thing to do is make sure you do.”
The way he said that sentence, with that low voice of his, the one that only came out when he was in private, or perhaps when he was tired… it did things to you. Made you look at him as if the light was shining differently on him.
Differently, yes, but all the same too. Shining like that night months ago, and if you weren’t in public you think you would have grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss.
A terrifying thought if you had ever seen one, and it made you glance around. “Should we… go somewhere else?”
It wasn’t what you had meant to ask. It was threading dangerous territory, a slope that could only lead to mistakes again. To unprofessionalism, though this time your relationship with him wasn’t professional.
You were giving yourself whiplash. All the months, of fame and newfound friendship, were giving you whiplash. You weren’t sure you’d ever get used to it.
“You don’t like the party?” he asked.
You met his gaze. “I know you don’t. We don’t have to stay.”
His lips parted slightly, and your eyes fell to them, admiring their pinkish tint. “What would there be for you to remember, then?”
You.
You didn’t say it, only shrugged your shoulders. “I already partied before you got here. Do you know that Sana and Jihyo are the sweetest girls?”
He smiled, softly. “Are they? I’ve never really spoken to them.”
You wet your lip, eyes sliding to the empty champagne glasses on the bar, almost at the same time as they were picked up to be put away. “Yeah. And honestly, I don’t do parties all that much either.” You brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, only then noticing that your hands were shaking slightly. “I only came because you were going to be here.”
“Did you?” he asked.
He sounded like he didn’t believe you, like you were supposed to be enjoying the scene around you. And you were, you really were, but the light was shining on something else entirely now, a treasure you wanted to find, like it was but the red cross on a treasure map.
You didn’t know if it existed, but tonight you wanted to believe that it did.
“Yes, I did,” you replied truthfully.
He chuckled. “And I only came here because you were coming.”
You smiled, knowingly. “So, should we go?”
 *****
                The city lied beneath your feet. An ocean of twinkling lights, out of reach. Like jewels shining in the night, never-ending. You felt small, standing atop the building, and your breath froze in the air, curling up to reach the clouds above.
“It’s cold,” Yoongi stated, and you glanced at him.
His hands were buried deep in his coat pockets, and he was visibly trying to hide his face in the collar. You smiled at him, shivering in a soft breeze.
“The cold is sobering,” you replied, eyes trailing back to the city. “Isn’t it pretty?”
Yoongi took a few steps forward, until he was standing next to you. He contemplated the view, and to your surprise he tilted his head back to look at the clouds.
“The sky looks like it’s on fire,” he commented.
You imitated the position, your eyes trailing to the sky. Indeed, the clouds were shining orange, reflecting the neon lights of the city below. “It does,” you agreed. “Would make for good song lyrics.”
He chuckled. “You never stop thinking about music, do you?”
“I don’t.” You paused, and the feeling of his heavy gaze on your profile had you look at him. “Do you?”
“Nah.” He shook his head, slightly. “Sometimes, I think it’s a gift. Other times, it feels like it’s a curse.”
Understandable. Because if the grind never stopped, then neither could you.
“I’ve started writing a new song,” you revealed, as it felt fitting in the moment. Your eyes trailed back to the city below, and you wondered if this city, this collection of shimmering lights, was what you were referring to in your lyrics. If it was the dream you were writing about. “Why is it that most of my songs are sad or angry?”
Yoongi didn’t say anything for a long time. Only contemplated the city in a pensive silence. Wind lapped at his coat, at your hair, and you shivered again. Your own coat was tightly wrapped around you, but it did nothing to keep the cold at bay.
“Are you sad and angry?” he asked.
You pondered for a time. “It’s hard to let go of emotions that have been integral parts of your life for so long.”
To your surprise, he stepped closer to you. Maybe because it was cold, and your bodies gave off heat, just enough for you to be attracted to each other. Like your gravity sucked him in, and soon enough his arm was pressed against yours.
“The letting go is the hardest part,” he admitted. “Because it’s a comfort zone. But once you allow yourself to feel… it’s a whole new world.”
“How did you do it?”
He sighed, and his eyes dropped to the ground beneath your feet, no longer admiring the city. “I’d say it’s Hoba, that helped me the most. But all of them. They showed me that there’s more to life than anger and sadness.”
“Your music still carries it, though,” you pointed out.
“It does.” Head hung low, Min Yoongi looked the perfect example of defeat. Like he’d run a race, reached the end only to realize he was going in the wrong direction. “The emotions still exist. I still experience them sometimes. And…” he trailed off, looking in the distance. “It’s what my fans want of me. They don’t expect me to release soft music all that much.”
“So, you’re doing it for the fans?”
He smiled, softly. “I love my fans. I’d be nothing without them.”
A year ago you would have been deadly jealous but now, now you had fans of your own. You could understand him.
“They love you too,” you reminded him. “They’d still love you if you released different music.”
He shrugged. “I have an album coming soon. It’s different.”
“Is it?”
A car honked in the world far below. “It is. I can send it to you, if you want to listen.”
“I’d love to.”
He met your gaze, and for a moment it was as if winter had ceded its place to summer, and warmth blossomed inside of you. “As long as you let me read your lyrics.”
You winced, chuckling lightly. “Maybe when the song is ready.”
He faced you, extending a hand in the air between you. “Deal.”
You grabbed his fingers, gently. They were cold, terribly so, and you felt bad for forcing him to be out here. “Deal,” you agreed, shaking his hand.
His thumb moved on the back of your hand, slowly, drawing a strange pattern. Current flew through your bloodstream, and you shivered once more, for a completely different reason this time.
Your brain chose this moment to remind you of that night, months ago, when you had gone to his place wanting to tell him how he had made you feel. When you had seen him with his ex, with his girlfriend. When you had realized he had chosen her, though he had never really known you were an option, had he?
You let go of his hand, albeit reluctantly, but you remained facing him.
“You never told me…” you started, but didn’t know if you should finish. Mostly because you didn’t think it was a good idea to ask, not when the evening still shone like a thousand stars. Especially now that Yoongi was looking at you again, with that fond glimmer in the depths of his eyes.
“What?” he asked after a few seconds, voice small in the infinity of the world.
“You never told me why you broke up with your girlfriend, in the end.”
If the world could stop breathing, you were pretty sure it did, in that instant. It held its breath, as you watched Min Yoongi carefully.
“She cheated on me, before I met you,” he revealed, flatly. “Claiming I was too absent. I took her back when she came back… because I felt lonely. Realized she was the source of the loneliness and broke up for good.”
You held his gaze, hoping yours held nothing of how you felt. Because you felt a lot, as the truth reached your ears. You ached for him, ached at knowing that he had felt like that back then. But you ached for yourself too, because what else had he been pursuing with you other than the company she couldn’t give him?
You had just been in the right place at the right moment. Something that he had been able to use for comfort. The way you had sought his comfort, perhaps.
“I’m sorry,” you said after a while. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
His eyes were unreadable, but his cheeks were tinged red with the cold. He looked pretty, angelic, in front of you. With the burning clouds overhead, you’d almost think he was a fallen angel.
“It’s okay,” he reassured you, his voice low once more. Intimate, just for you. “I never should have let her back in.”
“Why?” you asked, and your throat suddenly felt dry. You tried to swallow, but a lump made you gulp.
“Why did you actually come to me, that night?” he asked. “Not when we recorded the song. After we…” He trailed off, but you knew what he was referring to.
He was referring to the night you had believed you could confess to him how you had felt. To that night, where hope turned to decay, and all you could do was let go of comfort. All you could do was go back to the sad discomfort that was your life.
“I…” You bit your lip, pulling on some dry skin. “I wanted to tell you what it had meant for me? When we slept together.”
He gulped. You could visibly see it, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “And what did it mean?”
Your gaze dropped in the vague space between you. It felt infinitesimally immense right now, like he was an entire universe away. “We shouldn’t be speaking about that.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends now.” You met his gaze, surprised to find his pained. “Friends don’t speak about such things.”
“True friendship is when there’s no taboo subject, is it not?”
Min Yoongi and his wisdom would be the death of you.
“I guess it is,” you said. “I just… I don’t want to ruin this.”
He took a step closer to you. So close you could feel his warmth, even though the night was cold. “Why would it ruin anything?”
Your heart beat faster, in your chest. Reaching a speed unknown to it, one that left you breathless. “Because…”
Because what? You didn’t even know. You weren’t drunk, at least not on alcohol. But you sure were drunk on the aftertaste of winning the award, of being right here with him on top of this building as if you were standing in your own pocket in this world. A little like it felt down at the party, but so much more. So much so that you pictured yourself leaning in, falling into his orbit.
“I don’t think it’d ruin anything,” he said, voice so low you really felt yourself leaning in. “I was there that night. I know how it felt.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I told you I didn’t do regret, right?” he asked, question seemingly out of the blue.
“You did.”
“I regretted what I did to you, for the longest time. Thought I deserved to be lonely. So it wasn’t just because of her, that I broke up. It was because of you too. I regret going back to her in the first place.”
Softly, like a feather falling or snow dancing in the wind, your heartbeat found a steady rhythm once more.
“You shouldn’t have regretted,” you said, and you surprised both of you as your hand reached between you, and you cupped his cheek. “I don’t think we would have worked, then.”
“Why?”
“We were too different.” You chuckled, infinitely sadly. “We still are, aren’t we?”
“We’re not different in the ways that matter,” he pointed out.
And when he leaned forward, you welcomed him in as one welcomes a lover home from the war. You let him press his chapped lips on yours, let his mouth move against yours in the slowest dance. As if he was afraid you’d pull away, but tonight you didn’t want to pull away.
It wasn’t about seeking comfort anymore. It really was about going home, to something that could be great.
You kissed Min Yoongi under the clouds, in the winter night. You kissed him with all the longing you had felt, though you had been trying to ignore it. It came back, far stronger now, and it made you grab at his collar so you could pull him closer. He sighed in the kiss, big hands finding your waist, holding you in place.
And when he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours, your breaths mingled, forming a single cloud that moved up towards the sky.
“See?” he murmured. “Nothing to be ruined.”
“Yoongi,” you breathed.
He said your name, and then pulled away, just enough for his eyes to flutter open. You looked at him too, and when your gazes met, you understood that it really had been supposed to happen this way all along. You hadn’t been supposed to be with him then. Because it was unprofessional, yes, but mostly because you would have always felt like you weren’t enough.
Hell, you didn’t know if you were enough right now, but you were already something more.
“Do you want to go in?” he asked after a moment of gazing at each other. “I’m starting to freeze.”
You laughed, the sound lighter than dust in the sun. “Yes.”
“I’d invite you to my hotel room but…” he trailed off, resting his forehead against yours again. “Let’s take this slow. Let’s wait until we’re back home.”
“We’re going home tomorrow.”
He chuckled. “Well, that’s still slower than going at it tonight, no?”
“We can wait longer,” you said, and you were the one that pulled away this time around. Because you needed to look him in the eye when you said the next words. “If we’re going to really do this, I want to do it the right way.”
His smile shed warmth and light on every dark spot of your soul, until you were shining from within. “Works for me.”
 *****
               Dating Min Yoongi felt strange. Unreal, like it was a dream come true. Like you were walking the land of dreams, and really you wished you wouldn’t have to wake up. You didn’t think you would – he pulled through every day. Met you in the middle, in the places that mattered most. He supported you as an artist, and supported you as a person too.
But for some reason, you hadn’t been able to fully give yourself to him yet. You had only been going on dates, never sleeping over, never sleeping together. And if he minded, he never said it.
The holidays came, and Yoongi invited you to a party hosted by Jeong Hoseok. All the other members were in attendance too, except Kim Taehyung, who apparently was away in Daegu for the week. Some of the members also had their partners with them – in truth, everyone did, except Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon and Jeong Hoseok, though the latter had a friend over that seemed a little too comfortable with him for her to just be a friend.
The girlfriends were nice. Sweet, another group of friends you hadn’t expected to make. None of them treated you differently because you were somehow famous, probably because they were all dating people far more famous than you’d ever be. You got along with Hoseok’s friend the most, and you thought it was only because it was also her first time meeting everyone.
The party was fun. It was more of a dinner, with alcohol and food like a banquet for the gods. You ate so much you thought you couldn’t walk anymore after, yet you managed to make your way home with Yoongi.
Because this time, when he had asked you to sleep over, you hadn’t found it in you to refuse. Perhaps because it was the holidays, and the feeling of coziness and comfort that the days oozed had you wanting to drown in his familiarity.
If Yoongi noticed the switch in you, he didn’t say. Ever so the patient man when it came to you.
You looked at him, during the drive home. His features shone softly, in the neon light of the streetlamps. It made his skin glow like honey, like amber. You reached between you, grazing your fingers on his cheek.
“What?” he asked, letting out a small chuckle. “Have they made you drink too much?”
You snorted, resting your head against your seat. “No.”
He spared a quick glance at you, before resuming his attention on the street in front of him, as he was the one driving the car. Indeed, for this private dinner you had all chosen to drive yourself, instead of asking for the company to drive you around.
“What’s up, then?”
You sighed, a little dreamily. “You’re pretty, Min Yoongi.”
It was hard to tell in this light, but you were pretty sure his cheeks had dusted with pink. “And then you say you haven’t drank too much?”
You laughed. “It’s just a compliment!”
“You don’t usually compliment me like this,” he pointed out.
He wasn’t wrong, but it felt fitting, tonight. Because you were staying over, maybe.
“Well, I should start doing it. You deserve it.”
He snorted. “You’re adorable.”
Now, it was your turn to blush, and your eyes trailed to the street in front of you.
“Am I?”
He grabbed your hand, entwining your fingers. “You sure are.”
When you got to his place, Yoongi parked his car in the underground parking lot. He forced you to stay in your seat while he walked around the car to hold the door open for you, and you swatted his arm as you got up.
“You know you don’t have to do this with me?”
“But I want to,” he said, pouting. “Can’t I do something for you once in a while?”
“You always do stuff for me.”
It was true. Whatever you needed Yoongi was always ready to provide, whether it was help with some lyrics or a hug.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t do more,” he said as you stepped out of the car, standing next to him.
By instinct, you reached between you, one hand resting on his waist as you tilted your head back, slightly, enough to be looking up at him.
“Right,” you breathed, and your eyes moved to his lips as he wet them.
“What’s that look on your face?” he asked, voice low and husky.
You smirked, ever so slightly. “What look?”
He narrowed his eyes, leaning closer to you, and the smirk disappeared. “So you want to be a brat?”
You hadn’t expected that of him. In truth, you didn’t really know how he was sexually, considering the only time you had had sex with him was when you were both drunk and vulnerable, trying to chase comfort in the other’s touch.
“Do you like that?” you asked, breathlessly.
He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, before pulling away to explore your features with that dark gaze of his. “I like whatever you like.”
“So if I tell you to get on your knees and eat me out you would?” you whispered, smirk moving back to your lips.
He had the decency to blush as he spared a careful look around. “Here?”
You pondered, tilting your head to the side to reveal the soft skin of your neck. “You think we can wait until we’re upstairs?”
“Anyone could see us.”
You looked around. “The garage is empty.”
He murmured your name, dangerously. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“Then we shall die together.”
It was the last thing you said before he pressed his lips against yours, ravishing your mouth in a wet kiss that had you moan. His large hands found your sides, pulling you back against the car until you were stuck between it and him. His tongue toyed with yours, exploring your mouth until you were panting, feeling the start of his erection on your lower stomach.
He pulled away, just enough so he could move down and press warm kisses on your jaw. He then bent down a little more, reaching your shoulder, and he bit at the skin over the collar of your coat.
You breathed out his name, sensually, as your hands got lost in his long locks. It only enticed him further, and he grinded into you. It made you throw your head back, and this time he nipped at your neck, not so gently, eliciting another moan from you.
“Gosh, Yoongi,” you said, and he raised his head to look at you.
His pupils were blown wide in his eyes, clear indicators of his lust for you. They made his gaze look like a bottomless pit, one you jumped in right as you pulled him back into another kiss, sucking on his bottom lip.
You blindly reached for the knob of the car’s door, the one for the backseat behind you, and when you found it you pushed Yoongi away, just so you could open it. As you did so, he shut the passenger side door, and he followed you in as you lied on the backseat.
He hovered over you, hair falling around his face, and you pushed it away from his face, holding it in a ponytail-like grip. Some strands escaped the confines of your fist, softly cascading the sides of his face again.
Min Yoongi was a prince. A prince and an angel. A dream, something you had never thought you’d witness yourself in your entire life. And witness you did, with your eyes and every inch of your body that you knew he’d come to worship. Just like you worshipped him and the ground he walked on.
“What?” he murmured as you just kept carefully surveying him.
“You’re so beautiful,” you breathed, and you watched as his mouth fell open.
He had never been good at accepting compliments, even those coming from you.
He whispered your name like a lover’s caress. “So are you. You’ve been a vision, ever since the first time I saw you.”
You wet your lips. “The first time?”
“I was walking in Hongdae, with some company staff. Didn’t get recognized by some dumb twist of luck I’d say. But you were busking.” You thought you could see him gulp. Hear him, as he swallowed a lump in his throat. “I couldn’t walk away. Just kept looking at you, for so long the staff started getting worried. Because they didn’t want to attract any unwanted attention. But gosh, you were so beautiful.” He chuckled, lowly. “It was like I had walked into a temple and seen a goddess.”
“Yoongi,” you whined, because you too weren’t good with compliments.
But he wasn’t done.
“And you sang. The voice of an angel, if I’m honest. I was entranced. Then I spent weeks trying to find you, making staff go to Hongdae to try and get your name. Because I needed to know you. Needed to know you weren’t just a construct of my imagination.”
He pecked your lips this time, as if he really needed to make sure you were real.
“When I started listening to your music, I recognized myself in the lyrics,” he admitted. “That’s why I approached you in the first place, and then I just…” He rested his forehead against yours, and your eyes fluttered shut. “I just needed to have you in my life. Any way whatsoever. I was stupid to stay with Yejun, because I think I already knew then that I was going to fall in love with you.”
You repeated his name, like he was a melody. And to you he was. He was your melody, the music that made your soul dance. The muse to your mind, and the song to your heart. “We all are stupid sometimes.”
He chuckled. “I’m relieved the months have led me to you after all. I’m not sure I deserve it.”
“You do.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, trying to bring him closer. “You deserve everything in this world.”
The following kiss was slow. Languid, as if he needed to trace his love into you, using his lips to build you anew. It was beauty personified, comfort revived. Everything in you went steady, and then sang to the melody he carried, the one you carried together.
When he pulled away from the kiss to look at you with his dark eyes, cheeks flushed from the ministrations, you read the desire on his features, like one would read a sheet music. Unsure at first, focusing, until the language of music took over you.
At least, that was how it worked for you.
“I want you,” you breathed in the space between you, and he nodded.
“I know.” He laughed, looking around. “You made me get in this car for that reason, didn’t you?”
You barely remembered. All you knew was that you never wanted to exit the safety of this nest, with him. Of his embrace, and of the fondness and desire in his eyes. Whatever song passion was about to have you dance to, you were ready to jump in, feet first and soul open.
“Eat me out,” you breathlessly begged, and his pink lips parted slightly.
“I’m no contortionist,” he joked, unexpectedly. “Can you move up?”
You laughed, slightly pushing him so he knelt between your legs. “You’re annoying. Yes I can.”
He offered you his secretive smile, and then his hands deftly discarded you of your coat. He took his off too, throwing both on the passenger seat. “Then what are you waiting for?”
You bit your lip, a mischievous glint igniting in your eyes. “I think you should work for it.”
At that his face went fully dark, like all the light had gone out. He looked like the devil incarnate, the fallen angel you had thought to see on the rooftop of the hotel some weeks ago.
He said your name like a warning, and it made your head cock to the side. “Aren’t you a good boy? I think I remember you liked me ordering you around last time.”
In truth, you weren’t even sure he had. Just felt like being a brat, and you had always been more on the dominant side anyway.
“As I said,” he murmured, and he bent down to ravish another kiss on your lips, “my goal is to make you feel good. I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
That was enough for you, and you quickly moved up until your back was resting against the car door. He took off your shoes, before pulling your dress pants down your legs.
“I’m already dripping,” you purred, hand reaching to palm yourself over your panties. “I think I’ve been dripping all night thinking about you.”
He chuckled. “So you’ve been thinking about fucking me all night?”
“Oh, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Just wanted to make you wait.”
He furrowed his brows. “Why?”
“Eat me out and I’ll tell you.”
He let out a sound between a groan and a moan, and then he moved back, resting one knee on the ground so he could position himself between your legs. “Fuck, baby.” He looked at your clothed cunt, and then his eyes met yours again. “You really are dripping. I don’t even have to touch you.”
You breathed out an uneven breath. “Touch me.”
It was his turn to smirk, though he still obeyed, leaning forward so he could kiss your entrance over your panties. “Like this?”
“You’re a brat,” you said.
“Maybe.”
“Fucking eat me out, Min Yoongi, before I decide not to have sex with you tonight.”
Emboldened, he said, “As if you’d step away now.”
This time, he sucked on your clit, eyes never leaving yours. The devil incarnate indeed. Though, it seemed he had teased you enough, because he pulled your panties to the side, and his tongue dove once between your folds.
“You taste so good,” he praised.
“Yeah?”
He nodded, and then he lapped at your entrance, before swirling his tongue around your clit. “Yeah.”
When his mouth closed around the sensitive nub and he sucked hard, your lips parted on a silent moan, eyes closing tightly with the pleasure that moved through you.
“You know,” he said, barely pulling away. You could feel his hot breath on your pussy, and it only made you ache for him. “This time I want you to come. I’ll make you fucking come until you can’t walk anymore.”
“Jesus, fuck, Yoongi,” you uttered, and you cracked an eye open to see him smirking devilishly between your legs. “You go all romantic on me and then you say that?”
The smirk turned into a smile, and he pressed a kiss on the inside of your thigh. “Can’t I be romantic and want to make you feel good at the same time?”
“What are you doing talking to me, then?” you asked. “Shouldn’t you be –“
He didn’t let you finish before he dove back in, and this time he dove hard. As if he wanted you to forget every word in the dictionary, every song you had ever sang. All that was left was the sounds of your pants and moans, entwined with the squelching of his fingers when they started slipping in and out of you, following the same relentless pace as his tongue.
Yoongi was too skilled with his tongue. You remembered as much from that night months ago, even though you had been drunk then. You were a little drunk today, but the alcohol had mostly worn off on the way home. So it didn’t surprise you when an orgasm bubbled on the horizon, rushing towards you faster than you had expected it to.
When Yoongi sucked hard, teeth grazing your clit, you lost it, crashing into your high like a car crashing into a wall at eighty miles per hour. You cried out, something that resembled his name, and your hands pulled at his locks, as your hips rocked forward.
He planted a firm hand on your stomach to force you to stay down as he pulled away, resting his head against your inner thigh. His gaze met yours, and he resumed the movements of his fingers.
You hadn’t noticed he had stopped in the first place.
“That felt good?” he asked.
It felt better than good. It felt like a symphony, a complete orchestra guiding you to heaven. A choir, beautiful, angelic.
“Fuck,” you breathed. “Fuck it did.”
He smirked, content, as he fingered you, slowly. “That was only the first one.”
“We’re going to have to work on you too,” you purred. “I want to see you come.”
Your words shut him up, as he inhaled sharply, lust burning so bright in his pupils you thought he might combust in front of you. Yet, he pressed into that sweet spot inside of you, arching his fingers so he could play with it until you were seeing stars again.
You stopped him before he could make you come. Mostly because, when you squirted, you were done for after. You weren’t ready to be done tonight.
“Let’s go up to your condo,” you suggested as he threw you a questioning glance. “As much as fucking in a car’s hot, I’d prefer the comfort of your bed.”
“Your wish is my command,” he agreed, and he sucked a hickey on your inner thigh before pulling his fingers out of you. He put your panties back in place gently, and his eyes fell to his fingers. You both watched as he spread them, strings of your juice connecting the digits still. “Fuck, look at this.”
“That’s all because of you,” you praised. “A good fucking boy.”
He chuckled, wetting his lips. “Always, for you.”
He licked at his fingers, as if to clean them, before he seemed to consider something else. When he brought them closer to your mouth, you huffed a moan before wrapping your lips around the digits, sucking as your tongue cleaned them. His breathing turned a little ragged, and he looked as if he was seconds away from fucking you right then and there when you pulled away with a satisfying pop.
“Everything okay?” you asked, teasingly.
“The elevator ride is going to be so long,” he muttered, and you let out a laugh as you pulled your pants up your legs.
He handed you your shoes, and you quickly put them back on as he got out of the car, grabbing the coats on the passenger seat. It took you a few seconds, but soon enough, you were out too, ready to go up.
Yoongi wasn’t wrong. Just waiting for the elevator took forever, and when you were encased in it, you both exchanged a look so full of longing you jumped on him, grabbing his collar so you could pull him into a heated kiss. He pushed you against the wall, sucking on your bottom lip as the elevator moved up, ever so slowly.
It felt like time was stretching, turning to infinity, and he was sucking a hickey on your neck by the time the elevator came to a halt, doors sliding open on his level.
You walked out, hot and bothered, making your way to his door. He dialed the code in, pushed the door open, and as soon as it was closed, he was on you again, pressing you against the door. He must have dropped the coats on the floor, because his hands held your cheeks as he kissed you stupid, toying with your mouth with that wicked tongue of his.
“Yoongi,” you moaned in his mouth, and he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.
You both breathed raggedly for a few seconds, and then he grabbed your hand, moving it to where his dick pressed against his pants.
“You got me so fucking horny,” he said, and he chuckled, low sound that reverberated through every inch of you. “I’m so fucking hard and you haven’t even touched me yet.”
“Should I suck your dick?” you asked. “I feel like you’d be coming down my throat in no time.”
He moaned as you palmed it harder, and he grinded his hips, seeking friction. “Whatever you want, baby.”
“Whatever?” you asked, and you let out a small dangerous laugh. “So if I ask you to fuck my ass you would.”
It wasn’t that you wanted that. You just knew he was wrapped around your finger, ready to obey your every command. The way his dick twitched under your hand told you so, and he let out a breathy sound.
“You like that?” he asked.
You captured his lips in a kiss, and once you pulled away, you said, “It could be fun. But I’d rather have you fuck my pussy tonight.”
He nodded against you, before straightening. His gaze drank you in for a few seconds, and you admired his swollen lips. They looked even prettier like this, especially knowing that you were the cause of it. That your ministrations made him look like this, like he was minutes away from losing it.
You were going to make sure he did. But first, you wanted to make your way to his room. Because as much as you wanted him, you weren’t an animal. You could wait a moment longer.
“Let’s go to your room,” you told him. “Then you can fuck me.”
“Alright,” he said, and he added your name like a sinful melody. “You think you can come around my dick?”
“Fill me up and we’ll see.”
He let out a small whiny moan, and then you pushed him away so you could take off your shoes. He kicked his off too, a little awkwardly, and a moment later you were following him up the stairs, both of you ignoring the barking of his dog.
Yoongi had taken to caging Holly in the kitchen, mostly because he didn’t want the little dog to pee on the carpet of the living room once more. You both ignored the dog, and you would have felt a little guilty had he not thrown you a lustful look over his shoulder.
“I’ll fill you up just fine, if that’s what you want,” he said, in response to what you had said earlier. “I’ll fill you up and watch you drip with my cum after.”
Your mouth fell open, mostly because you were surprised at his crude words.
“You know, I thought you’re more of a sub,” you admitted, and you chuckled. “Seems getting you horny makes you a brat too, uh?”
“Seems you make me a brat,” he replied, and he chuckled too, slightly shaking his head. “I am more of a sub though. Hence why I’ll do whatever the fuck you want.”
You reached his room, and you cocked your head to the side as he paused in the doorway, turning to look at him.
“Take off your clothes.”
If he was surprised by your command, he didn’t let it show. He instead obeyed, slowly unbuttoning the pale nude colored dress shirt he was wearing.
Some Valentino dress shirt he had worn in Paris, that you had told him you loved too much for him not to wear again. He had taken to wearing it more often than not, especially when it was just the two of you.
The shirt fell softly to the ground, slowly. It puddled at his feet, and he cocked his head to the side as your eyes roamed his figure. Barely stopping on the scars on his shoulder, scars you promised yourself you’d kiss later, when the sins had come to completion.
He took his time to rid himself of his pants, his eyes never leaving yours. They burned with desire, so much so that you thought you had caught fire. You weren’t sure you were hearing an angelic choir anymore – you rather thought you had descended straight to Hell, and you were more than okay with it.
The pants fell at his ankles, and he stepped out, blinking once. “Should I take this off too?” he asked, thumbs hooking in his underwear.
“That and the socks,” you said, nodding your head.
He bit his lip, wet it, and then the boxers joined the rest of his clothes on the floor. He bent down, took off the socks, and then he was standing again, in his full naked glory, hard dick standing proud against his stomach. You took a step closer, wrapping your hand around the base of his cock, and you pressed a kiss on his jaw.
“Were you good enough for me to suck you a little?” you asked. You nipped at the skin of his neck, and he let out a soft moan. “I’ll suck you if you promise you won’t come.”
He laughed, and he sounded a little scared, but infinitely turned on. “I’ll try.”
You held his dick tighter. “You’re going to have to do better than try.”
He didn’t reply, just surveyed you with his dark lustful eyes, as you dropped to your knees. As if he needed all his focus on not coming, even as he drank in the sight of you on your knees for him. Already licking your lips, remembering just how good he tasted then.
He tasted just as good today. Maybe even a little more, because he was yours, and that had to account for something. He tasted like ambrosia, like the wine of the gods. His dick was rock hard in your mouth, and his eyes shut as soon as you started working on him.
Probably because, if he was to look at you for a moment longer, he was going to come. He really was wrapped around your fingers again, and so you offered the best you had to offer. And when his breathing turned so ragged you were pretty sure he was about to lose his fight against his orgasm, you pulled away.
It looked like it pained him, but when you got up and captured his lips in yet another languid kiss, he kissed you back with a fervor you almost weren’t expecting. It made your head spin, until you were a moaning mess.
Or maybe that was because he had sunk two fingers inside of you again, sliding his hand in your pants, and he was fucking you like that.
“You’re so,” he started, and he hissed as you bit at his neck, “so wet. I’m going to slide right in.”
You rested your head against his shoulder as his fingers kept fucking you, so quickly your legs started trembling. You grabbed his wrist, trying to slow him down, but if there was a thing about Min Yoongi that you were now realizing, it was that he was just as skilled with his fingers than with his mouth.
“Fuck,” you hissed against his shoulder. “Stop, I want you to fuck me.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss on your temple, and his digits left you empty. He teased your clit for a moment, and your teeth sunk in his skin in retaliation. He cursed under his breath, but he finally slid his hand out of your pants, bringing it up to his mouth to clean himself.
You didn’t move as he did so, mostly because your legs still felt infinitely weak. You only moved when he grabbed your shoulders gently, pushing you away just enough for you to meet his gaze.
“You want me to fuck you?” he teased, and you clenched your jaw.
As you loosened it, your tongue poked at your cheek and your eyes turned dark. Lustful, sinful. Vengeful. “I didn’t tell you you could finger me like this, did I?”
He leaned closer, pressing his forehead against yours. “You seemed to enjoy it.”
You grabbed his balls, squeezing lightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to have him tense next to you. “Oh, I enjoyed plenty. Now, why don’t you get the clothes off of me?”
He smirked, nodding against you, and then he pulled away. His large skilled hands quickly rid you of your clothing, and soon enough you were standing naked next to him.
“Should I fuck you now?” he asked, with that same bratty attitude he was just now getting.
“Bed,” you ordered. “I’ll fuck myself on you.”
“You want to use me?”
You captured his lips in a kiss, sucking on his tongue when it slid in your mouth. “I will use you.”
At that he gulped, but it was enough to convince him to obey. He finally moved towards the bed, laying down on the pillowy softness of his mattress, hands propped behind his head. He surveyed you carefully as you stalked closer, though you aimed for his night table first.
“Is that where you keep your condoms?” you asked.
He seemed scared for a time, sitting up quickly with a widened gaze. “Let me get that for you.”
You paused, hand on the knob of the drawer. “Got something to hide?”
He gulped, seemingly searching for words. His tongue darted on his pink lips, and then he let out a nervous chuckle. “Not really.”
“Okay?” you said, cocking your head to the side. “So I can open this?”
He breathed in, holding his breath as he nodded.
It wasn’t anything embarrassing, if you were honest. All you found in the drawer were condoms, lube and a pair of handcuffs. At least that was what you thought at first glance. You met his gaze, grabbing the handcuffs. Though your fingers grazed something else, and you shot a confused look to the drawer.
That was when you noticed the black anal plug. Your lips parted, and your gaze met Yoongi’s once more.
“So you do like anal play, do you?” you breathed out.
He looked away from you, though a smirk played on his lips. With that deep, scratchy voice of his, he said, “Can’t say that I don’t.”
You let go of the handcuffs, grabbing the anal plug instead. “You use that on yourself?” you asked, raising it in the space between you.
“Both me and my partners,” he replied truthfully.
You grabbed the lube, and then made your way to the bed. “I’ve never had an anal plug in before,” you admitted. “Now you’ve got my curiosity piqued.”
He laughed, and it wasn’t horny or anything of the sorts. Just sweet. “You want to try?”
The dominant side of you wanted you to say you’d rather put it in him, but there was something about the unknown that made your breath hitch in your throat. Because you did want to know.
You put the plug and lube on the bed, before sitting next to him. He put a large hand on your thigh, running it up and down leaving goosebumps behind. He was looking at you expectantly, and you bit your lip, finally nodding your head yes.
“I’d love to try.”
He leaned closer, pecking your lips once in a familiar gesture before motioning to his bed. “I’d recommend getting on all fours. Face-first in the pillows.”
“What makes you think you can order me around, mmh?” you purred.
His hand gently cupped your neck, skilled fingers immediately finding the arteries. He didn’t choke you right away, instead forcing you to tilt your head back. He sucked a hickey on your jaw, and you hissed, trying to move away, but he was firmly holding you into place.
“The fact you want me to use my toys on you, maybe?”
The fucking brat.
You rarely were silenced, when it came to sex, but it seemed Yoongi had found how to render you mute.
He smirked, and then he choked you, mouth finding yours in yet another hot, languid kiss that left your mind spinning. Or maybe that was the absence of a blood flow to your head. All you could do was reach between you, aiming blindly for his dick. He was rock hard, and you jerked him off slowly, mostly because you were too focused on the kiss. On every swipe of his tongue, on every grunt he emitted.
When he pulled away, fingers finally letting go of your neck, you breathed in shakily.
“I guess I’ll get on all fours then,” you said.
It must have sounded funny, because Yoongi laughed, pecking your forehead. “Only if you’re comfortable.”
Your tongue poked the inside of your cheek once more, and you slightly shook your head. “You really are going to be the death of me.”
“Just trying to make you feel good,” he said, face falling fully serious. Serious and dark, like he was about to ruin you. And you liked the switch in dynamics, even though you had always been more of a dom yourself.
You positioned yourself, ass up and face down in the pillows. Yoongi kneeled behind you, and you heard more than you saw when he uncapped the lube bottle. You startled a little when the first drop of cold liquid hit your asshole, but when Yoongi started rubbing it around, your eyes shut and you focused on the feeling.
Though new and foreign, it was a pleasurable feeling, one that made your pussy clench around nothing. Especially as Yoongi pushed against the tight ring of muscle, dipping his thumb inside.
“You think your virgin ass can take it?” he asked.
He moved his thumb out, then in again, slowly. You gulped, eyes still tightly squeezed shut. “I can take it for you.”
He remained silent, and you cracked an eye open to look at him. His cheeks and his upper chest were flushed red, and his gaze dripped with lust for you. You wanted to swim in the lust, to drown in it. No matter what it took.
His thumb slid out, replaced by a finger. A second later, another finger joined, and you let out a breathy sound. Gazes still connected, your mind zeroed in on him fingering your ass, slowly. When he figured you were ready enough, which he probably understood by the breathy sounds and moans falling from your mouth, Yoongi’s digits left you empty. They were soon replaced by the plug that he lightly pressed against the ring of muscle, never pushing in.
“It’s likely to hurt,” he warned you. “You really don’t have to do this.”
“You’d rather me put it in your ass?” you said through gritted teeth.
He bent down, pressing a kiss on your cheek before he straightened again. “I’ve done it countless times before, I’m a lot more used to it than you.”
“Just put it in, Yoongi,” you said, voice low.
He smirked, and when he started pushing in, you clenched your hands in fists, grabbing at the comforter of his bed. He was right – it hurt. But you wanted to show him you could take it, wanted to prove you could, and so you kept the pained whimper in. Kept your gaze connected to his, trying to keep your face neutral too.
It took a moment, and Yoongi had to pull it out a couple of times before he actually managed to get it all the way in, but a few minutes later, the anal plug was fully embedded into you, making you feel full in a whole new way.
“How’s that feel?” he asked, large hands gently caressing your ass.
“Full,” you replied.
He laughed. “I haven’t even started fucking you yet.”
The thought that he was going to fuck you, while you were impaled by his anal plug… it had a moan bubble in your throat, unexpectedly. “Fuck, Yoongi.”
“Should I handcuff you too?”
Now, you needed to regain control. So you straightened, turning towards him. “I’ll cuff you. Lie down.”
He seemed surprised by the new switch in dynamics, but he still complied, lying down on his back as you fished the handcuffs out of his night table. You also grabbed a condom, and then you moved back to his side.
The key to the handcuffs currently was in the lock, and you took it out, eyeing it pensively. “Should I hide this?” you asked, gaze darting to Yoongi.
He gulped, turning his head to the side to regard you. His hair fell on his forehead, and you put the condom down so you could brush it away.
“Just put it on the night table, we don’t want to lose it.”
You tutted, but you still did as told, knowing that it would be a stupid thing to throw it somewhere in the room. You then gently grabbed one of Yoongi’s wrists, cuffing it. As you pulled his arm over his head, he himself brought his other wrist to you, and you imprisoned it too. You made sure it wasn’t too tight, before sitting back on your heels. It made the anal plug move inside of you, and you let out an unexpected moan.
His eyes widened at the sound, and you leaned down to steal a kiss on his lips.
“Now,” you said once you straightened. “Let me put this on.”
You grabbed the foil package, tearing it open to fish the condom out of it. Yoongi was still watching you carefully, awaiting your next move. You grabbed the base of his cock, before lazily stroking it. He gulped, lips parting slightly.
“You think you’re ready?”
He chuckled, glancing down to his dick. “Pretty sure I am.”
You smirked, cocking your head to the side, though you were done being a tease. You wanted to feel him, to have him inside of you. So you rolled the condom on with an expert hand before climbing on his lap. Your hands landed on his chest, and you gently ran them down, along his ribs, and then back up to settle around his neck.
His pretty eyes just watched, and suddenly warmth bubbled inside of you. Not arousal, but really the kind of warmth only looking at a lover can bring out of someone. You stilled, meeting his gaze, and you wondered if he could see the adoration filling your eyes.
He must have, because he said, “I am going to fall so hard for you.”
You bent down, and it was with lips connected that Yoongi pushed inside of you, slowly. It hurt, stretched and burned, with the anal plug, so he was gentle. He was soft, and when he was fully embedded in you, you pulled away. Just enough to meet his gaze, and see the passion lighting up the depths of his pupils.
“Gosh, Yoongi,” you breathed.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Feelings swelled in your chest. Like wind catching in the sails of a boat, until you felt yourself rushing forward. Towards him, finally meeting him. Finally finding the comfort that was meant to be yours. You kissed him again then, slowly, languidly. Passionately, tracing a melody of love and desire on his lips. One he reciprocated, and his cuffed hands moved until his arms were wrapped around you, trapping you into place.
He slowly fucked up into you, lips never faltering against your mouth. He swallowed every little breathy sounds you let out, grunted on your lips until it seemed passion gained over love, and his pace increased. It increased until he was pounding into you, and it was his turn to grunt and moan against your lips.
You hid your face in the crook of his neck, and he held you tighter, closer, crushing all of you against him. When his movements grew sloppy, you tried to pull away, but his cuffed hands kept you into place.
He chuckled, sucking on your shoulder. “You’re stuck here, baby.”
“I just want to fuck myself on you,” you whined.
He sighed. “I like having you close.”        
The way he said it made you bite at his neck. “I want you to fucking come, Yoongi. I want to look you in the eye while you come.”
He moaned, and to your surprise he let you go, hands going back over his head. You straightened, eyes finding his, and his ragged breathing told you enough – he was going to come in no time. So you started moving, up and down, one hand massaging your breast while the other settled on his neck again.
“Faster,” he begged, eyes fluttering shut.
“Look at me,” you commanded.
He hissed, though his gaze found yours. He looked desperate, under you like this, and you smirked, tilting your head to the side. You still started going faster, and soon enough your second hand settled on his shoulder to give you better leverage.
Yoongi was close. You could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open, mind swimming in ecstasy as his high neared the horizon. You wondered how long he’d fight it – how long he’d keep his sinful gaze on you, just wanting to please you.
He moaned, loud, jaw going slack. Still, you didn’t feel the telltale twitch of his dick inside of you, telling you that he had yet to lose it. So you started choking him, moaning his name when his hips started moving up, meeting yours halfway. The sound of skin slapping on skin became louder, and a second later he cursed, loud and clear. His hands flew towards you, and you grabbed at the chain linking his two wrists, picking up the pace as he released inside of you.
Something about the twitch of his dick had you racing towards another orgasm, and you clenched around him. He probably figured what it meant, because he forced you to lean down, wrapping his cuffed hands around you. Holding you close, he fucked into you, rough. The feeling, combined with the anal plug, had you soaring up to the sky, and you came blindly, vision turning fully white.
He milked your orgasm, as it kept going on and on. You were a moaning mess, and his grunts entwined with your sounds until all that was left was you and him, breathing raggedly. You rested your forehead against his, and he kept you close as you came down from the high that sex with him consisted of.
He pulled out of you when your heart had finally calmed down in your chest, and you pulled away just enough to be able to look him in the eye, his cuffed hands keeping you from moving too far.
“Holy shit,” you said, and he laughed, softly.
“Yeah.” He pulled you down to press a kiss on your lips, before moving his hands over his head once more. “That was amazing.”
“Why did we wait?” you asked.
He laughed again. “I would wait for you for eternity.”
“You’re so cheesy, Min Yoongi,” you teased him, and you bent to peck his nose.
He smiled softly, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’m just happy.”
“Your happiness is a beautiful sight to see.”
There was a silence, of you gazing at each other. And you thought, you thought if the loneliness was meant to lead to this moment, right now, you’d do it all over again.
Because happiness, it really was a beautiful sight to see.
 *****
               You watched Yoongi carefully, as he read the lyrics of your song. You had finally managed to finish it, a month into the new year. It led somewhere else than you had first wanted it to, but you thought it was fitting.
You could only hope that he agreed with you.
You blinked as time stretched, with him just reading. You followed his eyes as they skimmed the paper, going back to some line once in a while. You didn’t know if it was because of disapproval, or because he liked your turn of phrase. It was hard to tell, because professional Yoongi was sitting across from you.
Professional Yoongi didn’t let his emotions show on his face.
Holly barked somewhere on your left, startling you. While Yoongi read, you went to the dog, petting it with clammy hands. Because the silence meant nothing good, right? He probably didn’t like the song.
Anxiety was starting to make you spiral when Yoongi said, “Wow.”
Relief flooded through you as you glanced at him. “What do you think?”
“Is this… it’s about us.”
You nibbled at your lower lip. “It is.”
He murmured your name, right as you straightened to walk back to where he was sitting, on the couch. You sat next to him, holding his gaze.
“Never thought I’d be someone’s muse someday.”
You threw him a no-bullshit look. “You are the muse of a lot of people, Yoongi.”
He smirked wickedly. “Am I?”
You said nothing, because really there was nothing to say. He just smiled, that gummy smile of his, and your heart swelled with fondness.
“You’re going to release this?” he asked.
You wet your lips, nodding your head. “I have an idea for a melody, but I thought you… maybe you could help?”
His eyes sparkled. “I have something that could work.”
He grabbed your hand, jumping to his feet to pull you behind him, towards his studio. Halfway up the stairs, you tugged on his hand, trying to gain his attention.
“What?” he asked softly.
“I want to release it with the song.”
He stopped walking, and you almost bumped into him.
“The song song?”
You nodded. “I was thinking of an EP? I have two other songs I used to play when I went busking that I never recorded. I thought, why not record and release everything together?”
His face split into a smile once again, and he pulled you in his chest. You almost fell, and it made the both of you laugh, until you finally started walking up the stairs again.
“It’s a good idea,” he said. “It’s going to be perfect.”
You rolled your eyes, because you doubted that it’d be perfect, but with Yoongi helping you, you knew it’d be good. And good was enough for you. Good was smiles and warmth and the flush of his cheeks whenever you complimented him.
Min Yoongi was good, in all the ways that mattered. He was good to you, and good to the world around him. He was good at what he did, producing a melody for you that resonated with your soul, with the lyrics you had put down on the paper. Lyrics that came back to your mind, as you watched him working on his computer, a focused look on his features.
In the land where no one knows my name
I seek a path that leads to dreams
Bright lights and Heaven’s door
I knock and scream at them, open
In a world where no one knows my name
I can almost hear Heaven’s choirs
You’d think they’d ring true and high
But I think they’re the devil in disguise
They push me out and in the mud
I beg on my knees, they don’t hear me
In the land where no one knows my name
I’m the scraps that you’ve thrown away
They say one day I’ll understand
But I’ll be the one to make the rules now ay
               It starts out slowly
Your light and darkness, everything
Success comes and goes, and I
If I make the rules, then I’ll make them bleed
Haters, they think they know
But ignorance is their song
They had me on my knees
Now I watch them beg, scream
I’ll never fucking care for them
In the land where no one knew my name
Now I look down to the world
And I think they live in hell
               In the land where no one knew my name
I was no one, I was scraps and mud
The mud’s taken shape now
It screams of your name, more than mine
I was thrown to hell, burned eternity
But I made the rules, right?
If hell is for the lonely people
Then I think we’ve found each other
They brought me down when they could ay
Now I stand tall and proud
Who cares about Heaven, about the choirs
When you stand next to me
They thought they could bring me down
I laugh and say, “Watch them try”
 But can they, when I’ve got you
We made the rules and now we reign
Over this hell of lonely people
And heavy is the crown, yeah
But light is the heart,
With you, a thousand eternities
Won’t be enough to bring us down
In the land where no one knew my name
Still you knew it
And isn’t that all that matters?
In the hours of darkness
Down in the mud
You said my name and I looked up
If hell is a lonely place
Then maybe you’re my heaven
 And maybe, maybe you had always been meant to love Min Yoongi. Reigning over your little world, with him.
That night, you laid in bed entwined with him, listening to his deep breathing as he slept the night away. Silver light from the moon outside lit up his features, and you took a moment to admire him. To admire his softness, and the flutter of his eyelids whenever he moved in his sleep.
He looked like a prince, regal, eternal, lying next to you like this. His steady breathing was comfort, and his beauty was awe. It was unbelievable that he was yours, that he was to be by your side from now on and until the end.
Loneliness was a distant song, when Min Yoongi was next to you. And you knew he wasn’t to go, not anymore. Because, no matter how unbelievable it was, Yoongi was truly meant to reign over the world, with you.
So now you’d reign.
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Woooow I hope we enjoyed this! I was really excited to post this after The Forgotten Spaces. What did we think?
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.
Taglist:
@chimchimmarie | @pamzn
1K notes · View notes
frieschan · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
QUERENCIA, masterlist
(n.) where one feels home ; the place where you are your most authentic self
Tumblr media
pairing - hybrid! ot7 x bunny hybrid! male! reader
genre - 18+, college au, hybrid au, fluff, eventual angst, eventual smut, humour
summary - you, a rabbit hybrid away from home to study, run into a group of surprisingly friendly and calm (also very attractive) predators who are a pack and live together suddenly run into your life like a bulldozer. the dull days of your life may turn into days of joy and laughter, or will the days turn into gloom and a sad everafter?
warnings - sexual themes, eventual angst so be prepared, mentions of abuse, part-human and part-animal(aka hybrids) warnings to be updated as more chapters to be posted. suggest reading through blog.
Tumblr media
teaser
chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 2.5
chapter 3
chapter 4
chapter 5
chapter 6
Tumblr media
copyright © 2023 | frieschan
notes: taglist may be added depending on how much attraction this might get, yes this is purely fiction. there will be texts or posts to be added but this is not a SMAU, yes female readers are allowed to read but this is written for a male reader. there is no definite schedule of each post, there is also no definite amount of chapters atm (230411)
248 notes · View notes