#mine: kyla

[meticulouslymorbid]

I got married

#mine #girlswholikegirls #lesbian #lesbianswithtattoos #girlswithtattoos #gaygirls #me #lgbt #gaystagram #selfie #married #my wife #kyla rose

[butch-reidentified]

cryptic update for certain longtime followers - you know who you are

2 down, ?? to go

got off to a slow start, sure, but things are different now. what i dreamed of as a teenager i finally have created. i have what i often imagined but never really believed would come to be. it's not just me now. it's surreal but I'm so happy about it. things are moving forward

#kyla #mine #kylr #kylp

[potledom]

EVERY ANTM PHOTOSHOOT (IN NO SPECIFIC ORDER): [2/3]. 24.04 - American Horror Story in a Haunted Mansion Jeana Turner, Kyla Coleman, Shanice Carroll, & Sandra Shehab

#it's been a while #but I'm back #jeana turner #kyla coleman #shanice carroll #sandra shehab #antm #america's next top model #antmedit #cycle 24 #24x04 #television #vh1 #vh1edit #color #gifs #mine #** #tw: flashing gifs #photoshoots

[thanksfortheflaglove]

.

#off my tolerance break for the week took an edible about an hour ago and hit of the stiz 4 activation lmao #now logging onto tumblr.com feelin it a little what is UP #oh and forgot to mention that i am vibing the fuck out to mind of mine #kylas thoughts

[ciaonicole85]

Chapter 2: Getting to Know You

I recently wrote a post-season 2 story about Carmy helping with Sydney's apartment search. I wanted to back track a little to get into his head space just after the Friends and Family almost disaster, but prior to the apartment hunt, during which he is hopelessly crushing on Sydney. Mostly, it's backstory and gives more context to why Carmen is who he is :)

When Carmy stumbled frozen and broken out of the walk-in the night of Friends and Family, Sydney was waiting for him. However, something in his eyes made her reconsider whatever she had been planning to say. She pointed him to sit on floor against a stove she had turned on and made him hot tea. Wordlessly she sat on the floor next to him until he finished. When he tried to speak, nothing came out. His icy mottled fist began to circle his chest, but Sydney closed her hand over his.

"We'll start over again tomorrow."

Weeks later Carmen asked her why she hadn't quit that night. She said "Your face…it looked like mine did when I lost Sheridan."

In return she had asked him what happened with Claire and if it had been her fault.

"No. She thought she knew me, but she didn't and honestly, we didn't have anything in common."

The more Carm thought about Claire the sorrier he felt about how he'd behaved and the less he regretted the break-up. Claire was his high school dream girl. She was always kind to him, despite being able to mingle in nearly every clique at school. She was as comfortable with the student government club, as she was with the skaters. Everyone liked her and for no apparent reason she frequently stopped at his locker to ask if he had gum or invite him to study. So he always kept a pack of gum for her, but was too shy to join her study group. Once she and two of her friends ambushed him after school and convinced him to come to a party the night prior to graduation. He decided he might as well not end his high school career without ever having gone to one. The party was held in woods behind one of the football player's homes. There was a bonfire, cheap beer, too few cups, and couples making out or swaying to "Die in Your Arms".

Claire found a clean Solo cup and they shared a drink as she gazed into his eyes.

"I love this song"

"Yeah…it's popular".

Natalie had been playing Justin Bieber non-stop for the last few years and Carm was almost willing to give up all music if he never had to listen to him sing another note.

He didn't remember the rest of the conversation, but at some point Claire kissed him. 12 years later when they began dating she brought up the night of the party and how he looked so surprised and blushed.

"You were so cute. I bet it was your first kiss!"

"No, but almost" he said a little taken aback. As pleased as he was that Claire was interested, he felt like her project. Something about their relationship reminded him of a cheesy 80's teen movie. Too sweet. Not enough acid.

He could have saved them both a lot of trouble if he'd not given her any number, much less a fake one. But it was Claire, the brilliant, fearless, beautiful girl he'd used to sketch over and over again and she wanted HIM. He liked her so much back then. She went off to Michigan State and he began peeling mushrooms at a restaurant eventually becoming Carmen Berzatto "the most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America."

But before Claire, in 7th grade summer school, there was Kyla Branson. Carmy needed to take 7th grade math again before they'd pass him to 8th grade and Kyla was a transfer student. She had just finished 6th grade, and was taking 7th grade math and English early, because she was a pianist. A whole freakin' prodigy that would be touring with Eric Clapton later that fall. The math teacher had told the class, much to Kyla's obvious discomfort.

On the third day the class split into pairs to do an assignment and Carmy and Kyla were paired. He could barely look at her. Kyla had thick curly eyelashes which framed her large black brown eyes, her hair was usually brushed up into a soft coily bun like a ballerina, she wore small white diamond earrings in her shockingly small ears, and she had an heart-breakingly cute overbite that showed whenever she smiled. Carmy was gone over this little black girl. She was very shy too, but an overachiever so she persevered in making him talk enough to get the work done.

Once she saw his sketches on the back of his notebook and said he was artist. Using his best charcoal pencils he drew a portrait of her in the privacy of the attic at home. On the last day of summer school he gave it to her when class dismissed and dashed out of the room, his face redder than Heinz ketchup. Kyla caught up with him outside and grabbed his hand leading him out of the view of the car pick-up line.

"Thank you Carmen. I think you're beautiful too" Kyla whispered and kissed him full on the mouth. For three seconds. Then she ran back to the car pick up line, got into her parent's car and Carmen never saw her again.

Once he thought he saw her. The eyes and overbite were startling familiar, but the name was different. It was the day that Sydney Adamu walked into The Beef. It was the day that someone saw who he really was again.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #carmy berzatto #syd adamu #fan fiction #fan fic

[cosettepontmercys]

books read in 2023

hi, hello! inspired by a few mutuals, i decided to do a reading thread of 2023! you can find my goodreads here, and my bookstagram here! as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books!

january

book lovers by emily henry (reread; ★★★★★)

convenience store woman by sayaka murata + translated by ginny tapley takemori (★★★☆☆)

a wish in the dark by christina soontornvat (★★★★★)

so you want to talk about race by ijeoma oluo (audiobook; ★★★★★)

highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert (★★★★☆)

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (reread; (★★★★☆)

if not, winter by sappho + translated by anne carson (★★★★★)

when you wish upon a lantern by gloria chao (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

this time it's real by ann liang (ARC; ★★★★★)

love, theoretically by ali hazelwood (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

hell bent by leigh bardugo (★★★★☆)

everything i know about love by dolly alderton (reread; ★★★★★)

the fraud squad by kyla zhao (★★★☆☆)

masters of death by olivie blake (★★★★☆)

enter the body by joy mccullough (★★★★☆)

the stranger by albert camus (reread; ★★★★★)

you'd be mine by erin hahn (★☆☆☆☆)

a hundred other girls by iman hariri-kia (★☆☆☆☆)

bloodmarked by tracy deonn (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

fearless by mandy gonazales (★★★★☆)

february

the roommate by rosie danan (★★☆☆☆)

wuthering heights by emily brontë (book club pick; ★★★★☆)

the nanny by lana ferguson (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

the writing retreat by julia bartz (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

exes and o's by amy lea (★★★☆☆)

not here to stay friends by kaitlyn hill (ARC; ★★★★☆)

chloe and the kaishao boys by mae coyiuto (ARC; ★★★★☆)

isha, unscripted by sajni patel (gifted; ★★☆☆☆)

conversations on love by natasha lunn (★★★★★)

meet me at the lake by carley fortune (ARC; ★★★★☆)

emily wilde's encyclopedia of faeries by heather fawcett (★★★☆☆)

where echoes die by courtney gould (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

vintage contemporaries by dan kois (gifted; ★★☆☆☆)

how to be perfect: the correct answer to every moral question by michael schur (audiobook; ★★★★★)

half a soul by olivia atwater (★★★★★)

ten thousand stitches by olivia atwater (★★★★☆)

longshadow by olivia atwater (★★★★★)

between the world and me by ta-nehisi coates (audiobook; ★★★★★)

infamous by lex croucher (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

the lord sorcier by olivia atwater (★★★★☆)

the latch key by olivia atwater (★★★★★)

made of stars by jenna voris (ARC; ★★★★☆)

march

when broadway was black: the triumphant story of the all-black musical that changed the world by caseen gaines (audiobook; ★★★★★)

leave it to the march sisters by annie sereno (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

once more with feeling by elissa sussman (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

moorewood family rules by helenkay dimon (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

fleabag: the scriptures by phoebe waller-bridge (★★★★★)

fake dates and mooncakes by sher lee (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

vera wong's unsolicited advice for murderers by jesse q. sutanto (gifted; ★★★★☆)

emma of 83rd street by audrey bellezza and emily harding (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

how to read now by elaine castillo (★★★★★)

constellations by nick payne (reread; ★★★★☆)

ching chong chinaman by lauren yee

devil in winter by lisa kleypas (★★★★☆)

the passing playbook by isaac fitzsimons ( ★★★★★)

infinite jest by david foster wallace

our wives under the sea by julia armfield (★★★★☆)

mrs. nash's ashes by sarah adler (ARC; ★★★★☆)

study break: 11 college tales from orientation to graduation edited by aashna avachat (★★★☆☆)

the love match by priyanka taslim (★★★★☆)

a lady for a duke by alexis hall (★★★★☆)

love and other consolation prizes by jamie ford (★★★☆☆)

april

spoiler alert by olivia dade (★★☆☆☆)

all the feels by olivia dade (★★☆☆☆)

ship wrecked by olivia dade (★★☆☆☆)

float plan by trish doller (★★★★☆)

yellowface by r.f. kuang

the ex hex by erin sterling (★★☆☆☆)

the kiss curse by erin sterling (★★★☆☆)

siren queen by nghi vo (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

chloe and the kaishao boys by mae coyiuto (reread; ★★★★★)

wandering souls by cecile pin (gifted; ★★★★★)

heavy vinyl, vol. 1: riot on the radio by nina vakueva & carly usdin (★★★★☆)

heavy vinyl: y2k-o! by nina vakueva & carly usdin (★★★★☆)

never ever getting back together by sophie gonzales (★★☆☆☆)

book lovers by emily henry (reread; ★★★★★)

miss aldridge regrets by louise hare (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

if the shoe fits by julie murphy (★★★☆☆)

blackmail and bibingka by mia p. manansala (★★★★☆)

murder and mamon by mia p. manansala (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

icebreaker by hannah grace (★☆☆☆☆)

alone with you in the ether by olivie blake (reread; ★★★★★)

may

beautiful country: a memoir of an undocumented childhood by qian julie wang (★★★★★)

the other black girl by zakiya dalila harris (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

check & mate by ali hazelwood (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

if i'm being honest by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka (reread; ★★★★★)

always never yours by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka (reread; ★★★★★)

do i know you? by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka (reread; ★★★★★)

romeo and juliet by william shakespeare (audiobook, reread; ★★★★★)

joan is okay by weike wang (★★★★☆)

technically yours by denise williams (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

first position by melanie hamrick (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

the boy from kyiv: alexei ratmansky's life in ballet by marina harss (ARC; ★★★★★)

the boy you always wanted by michelle quach (ARC; ★★★★☆)

woman, eating by claire kohda (★★☆☆☆)

immortal longings by chloe gong (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

heartburn by nora ephron (★★★☆☆)

a merry little meet cute by julie murphy & sierra simone (★★☆☆☆)

the deal by elle kennedy (★☆☆☆☆)

the mistake by elle kennedy (★☆☆☆☆)

the score by elle kennedy (★☆☆☆☆)

the goal by elle kennedy (★☆☆☆☆)

the legacy by elle kennedy (★☆☆☆☆)

open water by caleb azumah nelson (★★★★★)

painted devils by margaret owen (gifted; ★★★★★)

playing for keeps by kendall ryan (★☆☆☆☆)

june

the final revival of opal and nev by dawnie walton (★★★☆☆)

the missing of clairedelune by christelle dabos (audiobook; ★★★★★)

happy place by emily henry (reread; ★★★★★)

iris kelly doesn't date by ashley herring blake (ARC; ★★★★☆)

ghosts by dolly alderton (★★★★★)

you don't have a shot by racquel marie (gifted; ★★★★☆)

thank you for listening by julia whelan (audiobook; ★★★★★)

if you still recognize me by cynthia so (gifted; ★★☆☆☆)

imogen, obviously by becky albertalli (gifted; ★★★★☆)

for never & always by helena greer (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

all the dead lie down by kyrie mccauley (gifted; ★★★★☆)

one hundred days by alice pung (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

much ado about nada by uzma jalaluddin (★★★★☆)

thieves gambit by kayvion lewis (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

deep in providence by riss m. neilson (★★★☆☆)

the burnout by sophie kinsella (ARC; ★★★★☆)

small worlds by caleb azumah nelson (ARC; ★★★★☆)

we ship it by lauren kay (★☆☆☆☆)

foul heart huntsman by chloe gong (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

the memory of babel by christelle dabos (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

pride and prejudice and pittsburgh by rachael lippincott (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

a british girl's guide to hurricanes and heartbreak by laura taylor namey (ARC; ★★★★☆)

the reunion by kit frick (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

queer by william s. burroughs

when grumpy met sunshine by charlotte stein (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

july

the storm of echoes by christelle dabos (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

will they or won't they by ava wilder (★★★☆☆)

fiona and jane by jean chen ho (audiobook; ★★☆☆☆)

business or pleasure by rachel lynn solomon (★★★☆☆)

teach the torches to burn: a romeo & juliet remix by caleb roehrig (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

a man called ove by fredrik backman (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

exciting times by naoise dolan (audiobook; ★☆☆☆☆)

the hobbit by j.r.r. tolkien (audiobook; ★★★★★)

the year of magical thinking by joan didion (★★★★★)

such a fun age by kiley reid (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

tis the damn season by kimi freeman (ARC; ★☆☆☆☆)

august

a very nice girl by imogen crimp (audiobook; ★★☆☆☆)

bliss montage by ling ma (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

the raven boys by maggie stiefvater (reread; ★★★★★)

freshwater by akwaeke emezi (audiobook; ★★☆☆☆)

the dream thieves by maggie stiefvater (reread; ★★★★★)

i'm not done with you yet by jesse q. sutanto (gifted; ★★☆☆☆)

blue lily, lily blue by maggie stiefvater (reread; ★★★★★)

the raven king by maggie stiefvater (reread; ★★★★★)

bellegarde by jamie lilac (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

red, white & royal blue by casey mcquiston (reread; ★★★★★)

some mistakes were made by kristin dwyer (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

september

beta read (★★★★★)

dogs of summer by andrea abreu lópez (audiobook; ★★☆☆☆)

in these hallowed halls: a dark academia anthology edited by maria o'regan and paul kane (ARC; ★★★☆☆)

together we rot by skyla arndt (★★★★☆)

stay with my heart by tashie bhuiyan (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

before we say goodbye by toshikazu kawaguchi & translated by geoffrey trousselot (ARC; ★★★★★)

the dead romantics by ashley poston (★★★★☆)

the seven year slip by ashley poston( ★★★★★)

you, again by kate goldbeck (★★☆☆☆)

serpent & dove by shelby mahurin (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

harlem after midnight by louise hare (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

witch of wild things by raquel vasquez gilliland (gifted; ★★★☆☆)

the luis ortega survival club by sonora reyes (gifted; ★★★★☆)

blood & honey by shelby mahurin (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde (audiobook; ★★★★★)

for the throne by hannah whitten (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

the wake-up call by beth o'leary (★★★★★)

the book eaters by sunyi dean (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

october

the moth keeper by kay o'neill (★★★★☆)

a fragile enchantment by allison saft (ARC; ★★★★☆)

just kids by patti smith (audiobook)

cult classic by sloane crosley (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

the atlas paradox by olivie blake (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

the goodbye cat by hiro arikawa (gifted; ★★★★★)

the appeal by janice hallett ( ★★★★☆)

the twyford code by janice hallett ( ★★★★☆)

wildfire by hannah grace (★★☆☆☆)

the roaring by t. katarina tayler (★★☆☆☆)

curious tides by pascale lacelle (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

the tempest by william shakespeare (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

murder on the orient express by agatha christie (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

canadian boyfriend by jenny holiday (ARC; ★★☆☆☆)

november

better than fiction by alexa martin (★★★☆☆)

the christmas appeal by janice hallett(★★★★☆)

kaikeyi by vaishnavi patel (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

finale: late conversations with stephen sondheim by d.t. max (audiobook; ★★★★☆)

cleopatra and frankenstein by coco mellors (★★★★☆)

the undertaking of hart and mercy by megan bannen (audiobook; ★★★☆☆)

december

how to stop time by matt haig (audioboook; ★★★☆☆)

the wake-up call by beth o'leary (reread; ★★★★★)

the break up tour by emily wibberley & austin siegemund-broka (arc; ★★☆☆☆)

bride by ali hazelwood (arc; ★☆☆☆☆)

the getaway list by emma lord (arc; review withheld due to st. martin's press boycott)

same time next year by tessa bailey (★☆☆☆☆)

the mountains sing by nguyễn phan quế mai (★★★★★)

normal people by sally rooney (audiobook, reread; ★★★★★)

the night circus by erin morgenstern (reread;★★★★★)

funny story by emily henry (arc; ★★★★★)

les misérables by victor hugo (★★★★★)

TOTAL BOOKS READ: 202

#post: 2023 reading thread #starting out the year with a reread of book lovers 🤍 (which imo is emily henry's best) #i love nora and charlie and i see so much of myself in nora and i just love the way EH writes about grief

[kristinamae093]

Hey There! I saw this, and I couldn't agree more! Nothing says I love you more than "I'm willing to try this for you." And this works for all kinds of relationships: romance, friends, and family, too.

Would you be able to create something showing this for one of your characters or pairings? It could be a drabble, fic, edit, art - anything at all!

NO PRESSURE AT ALL - only if you want to, but I'd love to see what you could come up with!

Hey @jerzwriter! 👋 Thank you so much for sending this my way! This was a lot of fun and I hope you enjoy this silly nonsense I came up with! 🙂

Baking Memories

Everything else can be found here.

Book - TRR

Characters - Constantine, Liam.

Warnings - There's like, one bad word.

Word Count - 2489

A/N 1 - This is a one-shot from my HCTS AU, but this can absolutely be read as a stand-alone. The only thing you really need to know is Constantine didn't die as he did in canon and beat his cancer, but has been diagnosed a second time. Kyla (F!OC) is mentioned but not present, so I guess this takes place sometime between the previous chapter and the next.

A/N 2 - I slipped in the third @choicesflashfics prompt — “Why are you being so weird?” that will be bolded.

A/N 3 - (last one) - thank you SO MUCH @ao719 for reading through this for me and your suggestions! Any errors found are mine and mine alone, and I didn't really edit this a whole lot to be honest, so...... There's your warning lol 🙃.

Most characters belong to Pixelberry.

Constantine Rys was once a hard man; born and bred for royalty, he never got to enjoy and experience the little things in life. It never bothered him before, considering he was the reigning monarch of an entire nation with the world at his fingertips. However, since his retirement he found himself longing to experience all the things he missed out on. Today specifically, he wanted to learn how to bake; not just anything, a very specific recipe. 

His first wife was clueless in the kitchen and Regina knew very little, but Eleanor spoiled him with various baked goods consistently while she was alive. When she found the time for it Constantine never understood, but she always had warm cookies for him and the children to enjoy. He'll never forget the memories of retiring to his quarters after a long day and opening the door to hear the boys and Eleanor’s laughter, accompanied by the sweet, heavenly smell of whatever she prepared for them that day. 

Now, especially since his time left on earth was limited, he wanted to learn all these things he never had the opportunity to experience before. He found an instructor and Bastien vetted the person before scheduling a private lesson right in his quarters. His intention was to set everything up so Kyla could join him, but the teacher was only available on a specific day and Kyla was off. He knew she would still come if he asked, but he didn't want to impose on her personal time. Regina was his backup, but unfortunately, that day was a no from her as well. 

Even so, Constantine was still excited about his lesson. It may only be a class of one, but he was looking forward to putting his new skill to use. 

A knock sounded on his door and he quickly scurried over to answer it. On the other side stood Bastien, a woman who he assumed to be his 'teacher', and Liam, who Constantine hadn't told. It wasn't that he was trying to hide anything or keep secrets; he initially wanted to recruit Liam for this venture to begin with. However, he knew all too well how busy a Friday afternoon was as a solo monarch and figured it would be of no use to ask. However, his unexpected presence made Constantine hopeful that perhaps they would get to share this experience after all.  

"Son! What're you doing here?"

"I just so happened to be taking my lunch when I saw Bastien with Mrs. Finch." Liam motioned to the woman with a polite smile. "Care to explain to me why you're having bakers come to your quarters?"

"She's going to teach me."

"You want to bake?" Liam asked with an arched brow. 

"Precisely." 

"Why?"

"Do you remember those cookies your mother would make? The molasses ones?"

Liam's mouth involuntarily started watering. "I do… That's what you want to make?"

"Eventually I'd like to try other things, but that's where I’ll start. I haven't had them in years and the staff just can't make them the way she did, anyway. I was hoping if I took some lessons, perhaps I could give it a go." Constantine stopped talking as he took in Liam's nostalgic expression. "Care to join us?"

"I don't bake, or – haven't in quite a while."

"Then this is the ideal time to perfect your skills!" Constantine hopefully suggested.

Liam's face instantly fell at seeing him so excited. "I really wish I could, but I have a meeting soon." 

Constantine was trying his hardest to smile, but on a few occurrences he realized Liam was doing what he'd done to him and Leo for years; putting the crown first. He never realized how much it truly hurts to be left alone when the person you're longing to spend time with is occupied. Of course, he understood Cordonia does ultimately have to come first, but perhaps since his time was limited he was beginning to develop a love-hate relationship with the word duty. 

"Ah, I see... No worries, son." Constantine sadly smiled and motioned for the woman to come in. "If everything goes right, perhaps I can bring you some." 

"Thanks…" 

The woman stepped inside and disappeared with Constantine. Liam remained outside the door, suddenly feeling guilty for leaving. His whole life all he wanted was a genuine relationship with his father, and now that he'd been blessed with it he often had to put the crown first. However, now that his father's time left was dwindling, he found it was practically impossible to walk away.  

"Bastien," Liam started, "Clear my schedule for the day – no, the weekend. I'm unavailable unless it's an emergency." 

Bastien smiled and bowed. "Of course, sir." 

Liam made his way inside his father's quarters to the in-suite kitchen and couldn't help but laugh as he saw his father wearing a white, puffy chef's hat. When Constantine looked up and saw Liam enter, the pure excitement radiating off of him was enough to fill Liam’s heart so full he was sure it would burst any moment. 

"Liam! What're you doing here?" 

"As it turns out, I had a cancellation." Liam winked. 

"Get in here, then! You need a toque as well." 

"I don't think–" 

"We are pastry chefs right now; it's absolutely necessary." Constantine held out a hat to him. 

Liam stared at it for a long moment before he took it and reluctantly put it on. "Happy?"

"Elated. Now, Mrs. Finch, what are we doing?" 

"First we'll start by creaming the sugars and butter together." She showed the pair her measurements, as well as how to soften the butter. Using a hand-held mixer, she swirled the bowl until the task was completed before continuing, "Now, the eggs. The biggest thing to remember is don't over mix, or your cookies won't turn out properly."

Constantine nodded and picked up an egg from the supplies laid before him. “I’ve never done this before…” He held it up with furrowed brows as he intently studied it. "How do we get – inside?" 

Mrs. Finch laughed. "We have to break it, sir. See? Like this." She gently cracked an egg on the counter and emptied it into the bowl. Liam silently chuckled at Constantine's flabbergasted expression; something so simple was blowing his mind, and his elation was incredibly contagious. "It's easy, you just need a hard surface. You try."

Constantine nodded and tried to mimic her by using the counter, but that resulted in multiple yolks in his palm after a number of failed attempts. Finally, he looked around the area searching for a different surface to try when he got the perfect idea. He took the egg and although he intended to lightly tap it, he ended up smashing it against Liam's forehead; the egg splattered but thankfully most of his hair was shielded by his new accessory. However, the yolk and slimy membrane started dripping down his face, accompanied by the remaining shells. 

Liam squeezed his eyes closed as the goo slipped over them and his mouth fell open in shock, but he quickly closed it to not ingest anything. He felt something soft on his forearm and blindly reached out to accept a towel someone offered him. 

After cleaning his face, Liam turned to Constantine with narrowed eyes. "Seriously?!" 

"I guess I do still have some strength left." Constantine nervously chuckled before he added, "I apologize, son, I had no intentions of being so… brute."

"Why my head, though?!"

"She said a hard surface…" 

"Ha. Ha." Liam grabbed an egg and without breaking eye contact used one hand and cracked it perfectly against the side of the bowl. "Gently, grasshopper – and it goes inside the bowl." 

Constantine’s mouth fell open. "You may be upset, but you will not refer to me as a bug–" 

"It's – Nevermind… Mrs. Finch, please continue." 

She did as instructed and walked them through the various steps to make the cookies, plus gave them tips and tricks along the way to help make sure the recipe turned out correctly. They sifted their dry ingredients together in a separate bowl and were preparing to combine everything together, but Constantine insisted he wanted to be the one to use the hand mixer this time. Liam was absolutely reluctant, but ultimately caved after a five-minute debacle. 

Liam stood beside him watching Constantine's every move; so far, he was doing incredibly well with this specific job. Mrs. Finch was slowly adding their dry ingredients and Liam started to relax, thinking that things were smooth sailing from here on out. 

His phone rang and he stepped away to answer it but remained in Constantine's line of sight. Liam spoke with furrowed brows, his face red, and Constantine could tell he was speaking sternly; it instantly piqued his interest. 

The conversation was short and Liam reappeared a moment later completely unfazed. "Who was that?" Constantine practically shouted over the mixer still whirring in his hand. Liam answered, but Constantine couldn't hear him. "What?!" Again, Liam said something, but Constantine couldn't make it out. 

There was text beside each button on the machine, but they were so small Constantine couldn't see which one was labeled power. He ended up increasing the speed to the maximum setting, causing the mixer to shake and vibrate in his hand. Liam walked back beside him and spoke again, but Constantine paid him no attention as he was trying to read the tiny prints. Instead of leaning over to try and find the correct one, he decided to bring the mixer to eye level. 

It happened in slow motion; everything was fine one second, and the next their still very thin batter was flying all over the front of Liam’s suit. Constantine naturally turned his direction to Liam instantaneously as he held the mixer at arm's length, away from his own body. The machine continued to forcefully whirl until the beaters were clean, all its contents now covering the front of Liam’s face, body, and a little of the surrounding area. Liam could only stand there in shock; mouth agape, arms raised, completely flabbergasted. 

Constantine finally pushed the correct button and the mixer slowly stopped. He had a sheepish smile as he lowered it back into the bowl before speaking in a soft, timid voice. "The good news is there's still plenty left…" 

Liam only stared at Constantine with narrowed eyes. Constantine nervously chuckled and swiped his finger across Liam’s cheek before licking the contents. "Mmm – delicious indeed." Liam opened his mouth to speak, but Constantine quickly added, "Don't be mad, son… It was simply a mistake…" 

Liam took a deep breath and slowly let it out to keep his composure. "I'm not upset," A vengeful, mischievous idea struck him. He smirked and said, "matter of fact, perhaps we should hug this out." 

"I don't think that's–" Constantine tried to protest, but soon found himself engulfed in Liam’s strong arms. He looked down and saw Liam rubbing his face on his shirt, thoroughly cleaning it, and couldn't help but chuckle. "I suppose I deserved that." 

Mrs. Finch was quick to take over and simply talked them through the rest of the process to avoid any more mishaps, although they did help form the cookies. The sweet, heavenly aroma that filled the air as their delicacies baked brought back memories for both. Their goods came out of the oven and Mrs. Finch was dismissed, paid very well for her services, and Constantine even insisted she take some with her. 

Now, they were simply relaxing on the couch, enjoying the product of their work, and reminiscing with a cup of hot tea. Although they were missing Leo and Regina, it was nice for just the two of them to relive moments they’d shared while creating new memories at the same time. Constantine expected his ‘class’ to be rather boring but informative; never did he think it would turn into a chaotic, beautiful memory for him to relive for the rest of his limited days.

"Liam," Constantine started as he sat forward and grabbed another cookie. "Thank you for joining me today. I know things didn’t go quite as smoothly as they could have, but I'm thankful you were here… I had fun." 

Liam smiled. "I’m glad… There were definitely some mishaps–” He stopped to rub his forehead. “–but I had fun too. And, these cookies turned out amazing." 

"I concur. Mrs. Finch did an excellent job and I have to say, they are quite close in comparison to your mother's." 

"Here, here," Liam agreed whilst holding his cookie up to Constantine, which he returned before they both took a large bite. Liam swallowed and spoke again, "Listen… I know I'm busy, but I'll always try to make time for stuff like this – especially now…" He trailed off with a sad expression. 

Constantine signed and patted Liam on the knee. "I know. But I'm also aware of how demanding the Crown is. I don't want you canceling obligations on my account – again." He gave Liam a knowing look. 

Liam held his free hand up in surrender. "It wasn't that important! Neville comes here and bitches consistently, I'm sure he'll be back in a few days." 

Constantine couldn't help but chuckle. "Perhaps I could give you a warning next time, then… So you can try to pencil your old man in." He playfully grinned. 

Now, it was Liam’s turn to laugh. "You don't need 'penciled in', but a notice would be appreciated." 

"Done," Constantine suddenly stood and extended his hand. Liam shoved his last bite into his mouth and took it, confused, but Constantine was quick to pull him into a tight hug as Liam rose. "I love you, son." 

"I love you too." 

Their moment hung for a few seconds before Constantine stepped away with a bright smile. "Let's plan our next endeavor! It'll need to be during Kyla's work time, which proves beneficial to the both of us…" He stopped talking to wiggle his eyebrows. "Actually... What would you like to do? Perhaps something to woo her? We could go to a massage–" 

"Why are you being so weird?” Liam interjected. "You decide what you want to do and we'll figure everything out from there." 

"Hmmm…" Constantine trailed off, deep in thought. He snapped his finger a moment later. "We enlist Duchess Olivia and–" 

"I'm going to stop you right there; anything pertaining to Olivia means weapons and that's an automatic no." Constantine tried to retort, but Liam held a hand up. "Do I really have to pull the King card again? Think of something else, and we'll talk." 

Constantine opened and closed his mouth a few times before shaking his head and mumbling something as he sat. "What was that?" Liam asked with an amused grin. 

"I said you can be a bit of a hard ass sometimes." 

Liam smirked and confidently replied, "I learned from the best."

HCTS Tags (If you'd like added or removed, please let me know):

@choicesficwriterscreations @ao719 @queenrileyrose @tessa-liam @angelasscribbles @kingliam2019 @differenttyphoonwerewolf  @bascmve01 @busywoman  @belencha77 @mysticalfangirl @nestledonthaveone @lovingchoices14 @lunaseasblog  @malblk21 @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @emersyn-in-cordonia @walkerdrakewalker @tinkie1973 @queenmiarys @choicesflashfics

#the royal romance #king liam #liam rys #choices the royal romance #trr #choices trr #trr au #choices #here comes the sun #constantine rys #father son #baking #beautiful disaster

[xo-lesserafim]

my lovely moots 💓

sorry for @ btw !

@keiichandesu ; kei✨

@myboyfriendjake ; dream🌙

@heefys ; kyla🫀

@kpopstanmeg ; meg 🍰

@cherrysvng ; kiera 🍓

@nishik1 ; miko 🦌

@nyukyujs ; kya 🍥

@vizstars ; viz 🐇

@skz-minchan-enthusiast ; jenny /emily 🎀

@jakeyzzz ; lelia 🌘

@useraerin ; flo 🐑

@valeeeeee ; vale / lia 🐸

@sourdough-bbangchan ; livvy 🦩

@euiioo ; eun 🐰

@hyhees ; rora 🍙

@hiyyihs-aein ; leilani 🥂

@he4rtsforjihoon ; bee 🐝

@wiltspring ; cinny 🪻

@ikeuz ; selena 💫

@ikeucakes ; nielle 🦮

@hannahhbahng ; harper 🐿

@lualuabestningdungie ; lua ⭐️

@tensh1mo ; lelia 🧸

@wonfied / @wnrkz ; ate lex 🐻

@vocaloshin ; mako 🦤

@haew0nz ; nhu 🐇

@apple-brees ; bree 🐺

@jinkyu ; alayna 👑

@eniversal ; dia 💎

@kjrcrz ; bibi 🍡

@loviwonnie ; iris 🎀

@sureogi ; ate mae🩰

@kynrki ; kimmy🍓

@loveawon ; jules🌸

@envirae ; ate vira/vee 🐚

@yeontul ; lydia 🫧

@rwnzki ; maeve🕊️

@florwons ; fei🩶

@youspa ; ethan 🌫

@gyusyeos ; dia/saphira🐧

@hanniluvi ; soph 🎧

@mine-gyu ; lisa 🐶

@flwoie ; ate sonata 🖤

@sunny-reis - lavender 🌧️

@yizki ; yiz 🐾

@avocarua ; evelyn 🐼

@seolboba ; mako🧋

@csmicvrse ; astra 🎆

@stqrrgirle ; zarah 😻

send an ask to be moots !

(just be 11-22💓)

#{✨} — keizz #{🌙} — dreamzz #{🫀} — kylazz #{🍰} — megzz #{🍓} — kierazz #{🦌} — mikozz #{🍥} — kya #{🐇} — viz #{🎀} — jenny / emilyzz #{🌘} — leliazz #{🐑} — flozz #{🐸} — vale / liazz #{🦩} — livvyzz #{🐰} — eunzz #{🍙} — rorazz #{🥂} — leilanizz #{🐝} — beezz #{🪻} — cinnyzz #{💫} — selenazz #{🦮} — niellezz #{🐿️} — harper #{⭐️} — luazz #{🧸} — leliazz #{🐻} — lexinezz #{🐇} — nhuzz #{🦤} — makozz #{🐺} — breezz #{👑} — alaynazz #{💎} — diazz #{🍡} — bibizz

[kennieesims]

For ever & Evers…

Payton, Venus & Zora are the Evers Sisters. They were raised in a loving home and did almost everything together growing up. Love is such a basic word to describe what they have for each othe. The sisters even investmented in their first home together. Now they are on their own ready to take on the world… or at least Evergreen Harbor.

Payton 24

The most introverted out of the group but is always willing to have fun with her sisters. She loves plants (even though her thumb isn’t so green, maybe yellow), yoga, meditating and reading. “The brain is powerful but it needs its fuel” is what she always yelps to her sisters and their friends when they tease her for being “boring”. As a teacher’s aide she feels accomplished after every shift. Children are not in the cards but she adores them. In her free time she likes focusing on a cross-stitch or puzzle and she always finds time for her boo Luke (that her parents know 0 about, I might add).

Venus 22

They call her “money hungry” and she’s okay with that. If there’s a hustle, Venus is willing to try it. At the moment she’s looking for a sugar daddy or mommy… or both? Her girlfriend Ky (Kyla) isn’t into it though. If she goes through with the arrangement she may lose her forever. But she’s Venus, Ky can’t leave someone like her, that’s just stupid (her words not mine). As a medical assistant she gets the job done but she’d rather have passive income funding her lifestyle. She dreams of visiting Sulani, Tortosa and Selvadorada before aging up and you have to have the simoleons for that!

Zora 20

As a super extrovert and loving girl Zora makes ALL of the friends. She wants to host the best parties and simply enjoys seeing people happy. If it’s a Saturday night, best believe, she is using her fake ID to get into the hottest club(s). But don’t worry her 21st is coming up and it’s going to be lit! Her older sisters are her world and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for them. Her best friend Jay is her go to person outside of family. They talk about everything! They talk on the phone or chat while gaming online or in person. There may be something there but why risk losing someone you can’t go a day without?

🤍 how do you like them so far?

🤍 coming to the channel so sub here: https://youtube.com/@kennieesims?si=KVDygjOzMYjnW-IH

#the sims 4 #ts4 #maxis match #the sims #black simmer

[meticulouslymorbid]

Tis the damn season

#mine #girlswholikegirls #lesbian #lesbianswithtattoos #girlswithtattoos #gaygirls #me #lgbt #gaystagram #selfie #relationship #kyla rose #taylor swift #christmas #matching pjs #cute #holiday

[potledom]

#tyra banks #kyla coleman #law roach #drew elliot #antm #america's next top model #antmedit #cycle 24 #24x06 #panel #television #vh1 #vh1edit #color #gifs #mine #**

[idabbleincrazy]

Never a Wish Better Than This (7/7)

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: E

Pairing: Clex

Characters: Clark, Lex, surprise guest appearance

Word Count: 9346 (8265 without the lyrics)

Warnings: angst, schmoop, fluff, smut, oral, anal fingering, anal, intensely emotional smut, soulmate-ish stuff, So Much Kissing, bottom!Lex, top!Clark, subby!Lex, songfic (kinda)

Summary: Clark surprises Lex. Lex surprises himself.

A/N: and that's one more chapter fic finally finished! Now onto the daunting task of rewriting as much of the rest of the show as possible.

Lex's POV:

Okay, ow. Gee, Lex, yes, let's allow the computer-generated likeness of your boyfriend's biological father to use alien technology to zap a fuckton of Kryptonian (holy shit, that's quick absorption) knowledge into your brain, sounds like a genius idea. 

As the torrent of information dies down, I become aware of Clark's warmth pressing against my back, solid and grounding, his arms wrapped around my waist. When did I fall to my knees? 

"Lex?"

"I'm fine, Clark." Fuck, wish my voice sounded more steady. I turn my head to look at him, the newly gained knowledge of just how spectacular Clark really is, even more than I'd already figured, making my head spin with the scientific possibilities. Have to clamp down on all that, though. Mustn't treat the love of your life like a lab rat, Lex. I push aside the thoughts of experiments and underground laboratories, and press my hand to the side of his face. "You really are amazing, Clark."

There's that blush I love so much. 

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Other than the start of what's promising to be a fuckingly awful headache? Yes, I'm alright."

"Yeah, I think the only time I've ever had a real, lasting, migraine was when the A.I. did the same thing to me."

I frown at him as he stands up, pulling me up with him. 

"So, it's not just Kryptonite that can affect you physically?"

"You know about that now, huh?"

I nod, thinking. Knowledge is power, and now I don't know if I trust myself to keep from letting this much power corrupt me. 

"Look, Clark, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. I mean, sure, it gives a lot of clarity to the things that have happened these last four years; your little walk on the wild side and all that, but…Clark, what if I'm more like my father than I thought? What if I'm worse? I don't want to hurt you, Clark, but what if I really am the villain of the story?"

My heart clenches at the look he gives me just before he envelopes me in his strong embrace. His mouth is just centimeters from my ear as he shushes me. 

"You won't, Lex. I won't let you." He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek before pulling back, his bright, green gaze locking onto mine, full of promises. "Sure, you could hurt me now, physically. But you always had the ability to hurt me emotionally, and you've never done anything that couldn't be forgiven. We've hurt each other, Lex, without even meaning to, with our secrets and lies, and going behind each other's backs. We're still here, together. Because, ultimately, neither of us has given in to what's expected of us."

God, I don't deserve him, this incredible, beautiful being who somehow believes in me, despite everything. Staring back at him, I feel the bond now, like a pulsing thread stretching between us. During the transfer, I saw the other threads to his potential lovers, coiling out around Smallville, and beyond. Lana, of course, and Chloe. I wasn't surprised to learn of Kyla and Alicia, their threads now severed, laying dark and still. I was, however, surprised by Pete and Lois both having a connection, though Pete's appeared very weak and frayed, whether by physical distance or emotional, I was unsure. Chloe's thread gave off less of a thrum than Lois and Lana's, less like a lover, rather, more like a true confidante, and it made me wonder how much she knew about Clark. Lana's thread, though slightly frayed, still fought to maintain its connection, and Lois' seemed somewhat muted, like there was a resistance being enacted upon it from one side or the other. 

It worried me a little, that these connections still stood. Yes, Clark chose me, and I, him, but any one of these other potentials would be so much safer. 

I'm a Luthor, dammit. Luthors don't second-guess themselves. Luthors have conviction. We make a decision and stand by it, to the end. You love Clark, and would do anything for him.

But what does a Luthor know of love? Luthors hurt and betray, pretend affection to get what they want from people, use them to further their own end. I've fucked endless numbers of people, but I've never cared about them, about their wants and needs and feelings.

Ah, but you did once, didn't you? That first time. You loved him, and would've done anything for him, too.

And that worked out so well, didn't it? Those blue, too blue, eyes flash through my memory with a sting of betrayal. He hurt me, deeply, what's to stop Clark from doing the same thing?

You don't really believe that, do you? Do you really think him capable of inflicting such pain?

No. I don't. And that's what matters, isn't it? I snap myself out of my inner contemplation and pull Clark into a deep, searching kiss. I find my strength, my conviction, in that kiss, his tongue twining with mine, his hands flexing, oh, so carefully, at my waist. Breathless, I break the kiss, pressing my forehead to his, just holding on to him.

"I don't deserve you, Clark Kent."

"Hey, don't talk like that. You deserve love, and I will make you see that. Where'd you go just now?"

"Nowhere, Clark." I disentangle myself from his arms, looking around at the cavern. The hewn-rock table with the element I'd found in Egypt set in the center beckons me, another secret, another temptation. I know enough now to know it wasn't actually Clark who betrayed me with that theft, that Jor-El had been steering him. It can wait. "I know there's still a lot about this place to discuss and explore, but, Clark, can we just go? That transfer, it's taken a lot outta me."

"Oh. Sure. You're okay, though? This was a pretty big step."

"I assure you, I'm alright. I just need time for everything to sort itself out in there." Letting him lead the way back through the passageways, I toss him the key to the Porsche. "You drive back, though, okay?"

"Really?! You're gonna let me drive one of your babies?"

"I trust you, Clark. More than I've ever trusted anyone."

Clark's face crinkles in a grimace at my harken back to the day he came to borrow the red Ferrari. 

"I wasn't exactly myself that day, you get that, right?"

I nod in understanding, all too aware of the truth behind that incident. 

"Red Kryptonite makes you a little uninhibited, doesn't it?"

"Something like that."

"Hey, it's not like I've never done drugs. I get it, and it's okay, Clark." I watch as Clark closes the hidden cavern back up without so much as a goodbye to his father's…memory? I'm definitely going to have to look into that further; I don't fully trust that the A.I. has Clark's best interest in mind in its actions. "Come on, Clark, let's get back to the farm. The sooner we get there, the more time we'll have alone in your little loft."

Clark flashes a smirk to mirror mine and we walk out into the midday sun, leaving me blinking against it as my eyes adjust. I look over at him as we head back to the car, wonder sinking in at the realization that it's our yellow sun that strengthens him, gives him his amazing abilities. Weird to think that on his planet, he would be just, average. Clark Kent and average should never belong in the same sentence. 

Clark's POV:

Jeez. I knew Lex was going to take a bit of work, but I don't think I was expecting it to be this bad. He just doesn't see himself the way I do. He sees the man everyone else thinks he is, a carbon-copy of his dad. He's always so confident and sophisticated on the outside that I've forgotten about those glimpses I've seen of the insecure, yet hopeful, young man he is underneath the Luthor-scion façade. I haven't forgotten about the incident with the black Kryptonite, I haven't forgotten about how truly dark and twisted Lex has the capability to become, but I also remember how good his other side was. I remember how he tried to save me from himself, how he was willing to die along with the other Lex, just to keep me from harm. There is the capacity for terrible evil within him, as there is in most of us, but like most people, there is also the capacity for great kindness. I've seen how caring he can be.

I saw it when he fought against his father and worked out a way to lower operation costs rather than laying off a couple hundred people who were dependent on their jobs at the plant. I saw it when he did everything in his considerable power to try to save Ryan. I saw it when he paid off my parents' mortgage to keep us from losing the farm, even though he'd barely been back from his honeymoon from hell for barely a day, and the only thing he'd asked in return was to be treated, not like a Luthor, but like a Kent. I saw it when he took responsibility for his company's R&D mishap, giving himself up as guinea pig for an antidote that could have killed him. He's done so much for this town, with so little thanks in return. I know who Lex Luthor really is, I just have to make him see it, too. 

I know he still has things he hasn't told me, but I'm not going to push. He'll tell me in his own time, or he won't, but I trust him to not do anything that would end up hurting me or the people I care about. I have to believe in that. Having faith in someone isn't about making that choice after knowing all the facts, it's about making a conscious decision to trust them even when you're in the dark. He loves me, and that's something Lex Luthor doesn't do easily, or halfway. And that knowledge is enough for now. 

As I pull up the drive to the barn, I realize we still haven't gotten around to discussing the us part of our relationship. With the revelation of my apparent ability to forge a more-than-figurative bond, that kinda took a backseat. I'm not completely sure what this connection between us entails, but it's going to take another trip to the cave and a lengthy conversation with Jor-El to figure it out, so I put a pin in it for now. I still have my surprise waiting inside, and I think Lex needs it now more than ever. Grand gestures go a long way with him, after all.

I shift into park and kill the ignition before looking over at Lex, who has been unnaturally silent on the trip back. I don't think he even sees what he's looking at beyond the passenger window. I know it was a lot of information to take in all at once like that, probably even more so for a human brain, but I don't think his thoughts are really on my Kryptonian heritage. Well, self-reflection can come later; I put a lot of work into getting this just right and I'm not going to let Lex's doubts about himself rain on my parade. I take his hand in mine, feeling him startle slightly as I drag him from his introspection, and there's an almost deer-in-the-headlights look on his face when he turns to look at me. 

"Hey, it'll all work out, Lex, trust me. I believe in us."

"I do trust you, Clark. After that, how can I not? It's…it's me I'm not so sure about."

I don't know whether to shake him until he sees sense or fold him into my embrace like a swaddled infant in need of comfort, so I settle for somewhere in-between, pulling him halfway across the center console and crushing my mouth to his. I pour as much meaning into the kiss as I can, hoping he feels the love and trust I have for him. With a gentle, if somewhat annoyed, nip to his bottom lip, I push him back into his seat, slightly smug at his gasping pants for breath. I hadn't even used tongue.

"You're a good man, Lex Luthor. Anyone who actually bothers to get to know you can see that. And, I don't care how long it takes, I will make you see it, too." Unbuckling my seatbelt, I toss him the keys and start to step out of the car, trusting him to follow me instinctively. "But, not today. Today, I have something a lot better planned than trying to convince one of the most stubborn people in the world of their real worth."

He frowns at the dig, but falls into step beside me as we walk through the barn door. At the foot of the stairs, I stop him, pulling him against me, back to chest. 

"Trust me?"

He cranes his head back around to give me a put-upon look. 

"Clark…"

"Indulge me."

Huffy sigh and an eye roll, as expected.

"I trust you, Clark."

"Good." 

I press a quick kiss to his cheek and cover his eyes with one hand, the other dropping to his waist to keep him close. I guide him up the stairs without a stumble and lead him to the center of the loft.

"Clark, what's with the subterfuge? Come on, let me see, already."

There's a lightness to his voice that wasn't there when we left the car. Good. No Debbie Downers allowed. I remove my hand from over his eyes and step back, releasing my hold on him. 

He turns slowly, taking in the sight of the rearranged and redecorated loft, a confused, wide-eyed wonder growing on his face. 

The Look to the Stars banner I managed to find stashed away in the school's supply closet is stretched across one wall. Glittery streamers and twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, their effect slightly muted by the sunlight streaming in through the window, but still glinting and casting shadows around us. The furniture is all pushed back against the back wall, leaving the majority of the floor bare. I couldn't risk using mom's punch bowl that she uses during the holidays, but there were a few snacks and drinks set up on the coffee table. 

"Clark, what - what is all this?"

"Kinda thought it wasn't completely fair that the man who paid for the band didn't get to see them play, y'know?" I speed over to the table and back before he can really register that I even moved, a small remote in my hand. "Prom was great, Dawn's ghostly antics aside, I got to dance with Lana, and it was just like I had spent years dreaming it would be. But, something was missing."

I press a button on the remote, and music rings out from the speakers hidden away in the shadowy corners of the ceiling. Pocketing the remote, I reach out a hand to Lex.

"Can I have this dance?"

Wordlessly, he places his hand in mine, letting me take the lead as I pull him in close. His hands wrap around my shoulders and mine around his waist, and we begin a simple sway to the music, his face tilted up towards mine, eyes bright in the light reflecting around us.

What day is it

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up, and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

I've only known Lex for less than five years, but I feel as though I've known him all my life. Like my life didn't really start until I met him. I spent the last four years and eight months unsure of myself, and unable to admit who I really am. The last twenty-four hours have been the best, most freeing, hours of my life, and I mourn all the hours between that moment on the river bank and now. I just need to make him understand. He's not the only one struggling here, not the only one who's vulnerable.

"You've done so much for other people, Lex, without even being asked, without even caring about the recognition. I mean, who even pays what was probably an ungodly amount of money to fly a real, popular, band out to the middle of nowhere for a high school dance, unbidden? I wouldn't have even known that you organized it if Chloe hadn't told me."

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

"I did it for you, you know. I wanted your high school experience to be complete." He's still staring at me, wide-eyed and marveling. His voice is soft, almost below my range of hearing, like he doesn't know if he wants me to hear it. "I skipped my prom. I couldn't very well show up with the one person I really wanted to, and none of the girls from our sister school seemed an acceptable replacement. I'm not very fond of what I remember of that night. This…this is better."

"It's better for me, too. 'Cause it's you."

What are the things that I want to say

Just aren't coming out right?

I'm tripping on words

You got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

"Clark," his voice so raw, trembling, and I've never heard it that way, not even last night, when we were stripped bare in every way. "I'm…I'm not good at this. At relationships, at love. And I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone, or anything in this fucking world. But I - Clark, I don't know how - how to do this, how to love you and not hurt you and not be afraid of being hurt."

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

God, I love this man in my arms. I want to show him what I see, but I don't know how to put it any plainer than I already have. I hate the world that has made him so jaded and scared so young. We've stopped moving, just staring at each other as the song continues on, neither of us blinking for long stretches of time.

"You do, Lex. I've seen it. When you're not trying to be the man your father spent years trying to mold you into. When you're completely yourself, you're one of the best people I know." 

There's something about you now

That I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

"Just…help me? If-if I fuck up, if I slip into that man I don't want to be?"

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

"Always, Lex. We balance each other. That's what people who are meant to be together do."

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

The song ends, and I release him, reaching for the remote and stopping the music before the next song begins, needing the silence. Until this moment, I hadn't decided on whether to give him this next part of the surprise or to wait until we were more settled. I know now, there will be no moment better than this. Forcing myself not to speed, I cross back over to the makeshift refreshment table and pick up the metal box I had hidden behind a bag of chips. Lana had wondered why I asked for it back after all this time, but she accepted my bumbling explanation with the same grace she always does, even through the glint of sadness that flashed behind her eyes when she handed over the lead box made from St. George's armor. I think she sensed the finality of the dance between us as she placed it into my waiting hand. If she ever sees the box in Lex's possession, I don't think it would take her long to put two and two together. 

Fingering the blunt spikes lined along the sides nervously, I start the music again, leaving the remote on the table, and cross back to where Lex is still standing, waiting, his eyes flitting down to the box and back up to mine in confusion.

Lex's POV:

How many times can a person be overwhelmed with emotion in such a short span of time? I had expected Clark to lead me up here for some simple, distracting, fooling around before running the risk of being caught by either elder Kent or the ever-nosy Ms. Lane. Not this. No one's ever done anything like this for me. 

I'm confused by the St. George box in his hands, and the opening strains of guitar coming from the speakers makes my heart clench slightly in trepidation. Whatever's inside is obviously important, like every moment of the last twenty-four hours has been. 

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

The funny thing is, I'd never even heard of Lifehouse until I started searching for the perfect band to play at Clark's prom. Chloe had given me a burned cd of the most popular alt rock and pop songs of the last four years, and the second I'd heard You and Me, I knew they were it. My decision had been cemented after I did a bit of research and came across a few more of their singles that seemed like someone had gained insider information on just how deeply my feelings for Clark ran. I'd listened to them so many times, their words were imprinted at the back of my brain. Wonder how  much it would cost to keep them on retainer.

"I thought you gave that to Lana?"

"I did. I thought it was time it was returned to its rightful owner, along with something else I once mistook as being meant for her."

Clark handed me the box, and I opened it warily, wondering if it was perhaps some kind of test involving Kryptonite. Instead of a green, glowing meteorite, within the lead box, lay a thick-banded silver bracelet with a diamond-shaped, blue-hued opal delicately placed within the circular cutout in its center. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"This…Clark, isn't this the bracelet from the cave drawing? The one with the girl?"

Clark stepped closer and carefully, almost reverently, plucked the bracelet from the box, letting the gem catch the light and throw it back across the room, dazzling me even further. 

"According to the Kawatche legend, this is meant to be given by Naman to the one he's destined to be with." He hesitates, his fingers tracing around the pattern pressed into the edges of the silver. "Over the two years I've had this, I almost gave this to three other people; Kyla, Lana, and Alicia, but something held me back. I'll always miss Kyla and Alicia, always regret that we didn't get to follow things to a natural conclusion, but I don't think either of those relationships would have ended any differently than it did with Lana, even with them knowing about my abilities. You don't have to wear it, obviously, but if I am Naman, then, Segeeth or not, this belongs to you."

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now

I take the proffered bracelet from him, my fingers lingering as they brush over his. Setting the box down on the floor, I pointedly clamp the bracelet around my wrist, the open ends just lightly touching to mold almost perfectly to the shape of my wrist. I can see the emotions swimming in his eyes, a surge of unexpected confidence washing through me. Clark loves me, trusts me despite everything. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

"I'd be honored to wear it whenever I can, Clark." I wish my voice didn't sound so raw in my own ears. "Sometimes, it's better not to fight destiny."

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find

There's nothing in the world that can change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

The smile he flashes is stunningly bright, a shaky laugh falling from his lips, and I can't help but pull him to me. 

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

I feel his arms slip back around me as I capture his mouth, sealing all the promises we've made each other today, both spoken and silent. My lips part under his as he takes control of the kiss, my eyes falling shut. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

At the first touch of his tongue against mine, I moan, my nascent arousal surging startlingly back into overdrive. As he clutches me close, I can feel the evidence of his own desire pressing against my hip and I can't help but buck up into the girth of him. I want him now. In me. Even more than I did last night. I feel like I've woken up on that river bank all over again, a rush of renewed life flowing through me, the lips of an angel, my angel, breathing his essence into my lungs to lead to redemption. 

Just hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

As the song trails down to an end, I break the kiss, feeling slightly off-kilter.

"Uh, Clark, we're floating again." 

I can't help but laugh at his sheepish look. At least nothing caught fire. The next song starts as we touch back down upon the wooden slats of the loft, and I sober quickly. 

A strangled smile fell from your face

What kills me that I hurt you this way

The worst part is that I didn't even know

Now there's a million reasons for you to go

But if you can find a reason to stay

"Is there still time before anyone comes back, Clark?"

He casts a quick look out the window, and I can see the laser-focus in his eyes as he scans the distance.

"Plenty. Dad's busy enough for the next couple hours, at least, and mom's just now going on break with Lois at the Talon." He crushes his lips back to mine, and he seems to be just as hungry for it as I am, a big hand sliding around my head to keep me from pulling away too quickly. I gasp into his mouth at the feel of his thumb caressing over the bump at the base of my skull, the gentle touch an unexpected shock to my system. "What do you want, Lex? Hmm? Want me to suck you off properly this time, baby? Wanna fuck me? God, I just, I love you so much, Lex. So beautiful, inside and out. Want to make you see that. Anything, baby, just tell me."

"I want you in me again, Clark. Need it." I'm moaning in-between kisses, grinding up into the hand that slides teasingly over my crotch. Turning my face into the curve of his shoulder, I let the fear seep out. "Fuck, please, baby, show me. Show me how much you love me. Show me what I'm fighting against the Luthor name for. God, Clark, I don't know how to be that man you see, but I want to. I want to be worthy of you."

"Dammit, Lex, you already are. Just by being here, by trying even though you're afraid."

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

In a whirl of air, Clark is gone, leaving me feeling bereft. The tortuous emotion is fleeting, as he is back in front of me, taking my hand again and leading me over to a shadowed corner of the loft where there's an impromptu set-up of blankets and pillows. 

I expected another mad rush to nudity, but he simply dips his head to brush his lips against my own as his fingers untangle from mine, sliding up my arms and across my shoulders, down my chest to the hem of my shirt. Thumbs caress briefly over my abdomen before he slowly tugs the shirt up, my arms raising without thought for him to pull the slightly sweat-dampened cotton over my head. 

I've never been undressed by a lover like this. So reverently, like unveiling my pale, nearly hairless, skin was something to be savored rather than a means to an end. Clark's kissing me again, a slow, sweeping exploration of my mouth that exudes such a quiet desperation that I can't even try to fight against it, merely allow it. 

When he finally relinquishes my mouth, I tug his shirt off, eyes roaming over golden skin that should never have to be covered by a single stitch. My hands join in, running slowly over dips and planes, my head starting to follow their path until Clark stops me with his forefinger under my chin, nudging me back up. 

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

A whisper of a kiss to my lips before that sweet, sinful mouth of his starts a trail along my jaw, down my throat, feather-light, his hands sliding up my sides and over my chest. His lips work their way across one shoulder, tongue sliding slowly over the freckles I know are there. I swallow hard, trying to will away the tremble I feel running through me, my hands clenching lightly on his hips as he travels along my collarbone to the other shoulder, teeth clamping, oh so gently, over the skin stretched tight across bone. 

I watch the top of his head as he continues his downward path, kissing and licking, tasting, every bit of me he comes in contact with, thumbs sliding up to scrape over my nipples, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my aching cock.

A broken moan escapes me, and Clark's dips briefly into my navel, swirling erotically around the indent before kneeling on the hard wooden floor. His eyes raise back to mine, deep pools of onyx within thin rings of emerald, and I want to capture that look in stone, in something I can wear, always, and remember this moment. This instant, with his head upturned to watch me watching him, his hands slipping down to the waist of my jeans, fingers easing the button through its hole, sliding the zipper down so excruciatingly slowly that I swear I hear each tooth parting.

She said if we're gonna make this work

You gotta let me inside even though it hurts

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see

Fly open, he groans softly as he discovers I've gone commando, pressing his face into the sparse russet curls and inhaling deeply, the movement visible in the muscles of his bare back. So close to freedom from its denim confines and Clark's mouth, I feel a spurt of pre-cum ooze from my cock, so much like Pavlov's dog drooling at the sound of the bell. Addicted to him already. Hands slide down my legs, and I curve forward slightly, my hands now on his shoulders to stabilize myself as he lifts first one foot, then the other, removing shoes and socks before pulling my jeans down, helping me step out of them.

Face back on mine as his hands wrap around my hips and he leans forward, engulfing me in the heat of his mouth. Swallows me down in one slick slide of lips and tongue, until I'm pressing at the back of his throat. It takes everything in my vast well of willpower not to tear my gaze away from his, let my head fall back on my shoulders, as he shifts me back and forth, guiding my hips into a steady, if too slow, pace. Christ, too much and not enough, and this is not the way it's supposed to be, so sweet and gentle and not at all the overwhelming and almost brutal taking of last night. 

Not supposed to go this way. Never has. No one has ever been so gentle, so passionate, so caring, not with me. Not even…no. Blink away the memory of blue eyes and swim in the green staring up at me. I don't deserve this, this barrier-breaking affection and selfless attention as he lets me take over, thrusting down his throat, his jaw going slack to take me so completely, lips brushing against the sensitive skin at the base of my cock with every push in. I'm a Luthor, and this is not what Luthors are given, never willingly, not with such blind trust and complete faith, never when it isn't a well-masked lie paid for exorbitantly.

A sound like a sob slips past my lips before I can choke it back, sight momentarily blurry until I can blink away the salt sting. Clark's face changes minutely, just enough to show it didn't escape his scrutiny. His hands tighten on my hips just enough to halt me mid-thrust. One last, slow, backward pull along the shaft of my throbbing cock before he releases it from its newly found haven.

She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be

You've gotta love yourself if you can ever love me

His mouth shapes into those two lines of verse, and a shudder wracks through me, and my eyes fall shut, trying to block out the world, him. 

"I…I don't know if I can." I wrench my eyes open again, hand sliding up into Clark's hair, tugging forcefully, enough that it would hurt anyone else to resist. He gets the demand behind the action, allows me to pull him up to standing, to guide his mouth to mine in a kiss that rattles me more than it does him. Tongues overlapping, sweeping into each other's mouths, his hands still tight on my hips, and I moan desperately against his lips as my cock drags over the rough denim of his jeans. "Teach me, Clark, show me how. Make me trust myself the way you trust me, the way I trust you."

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

And give me a break

I'll keep us together

Without breaking the kiss completely, Clark manages to maneuver us down onto the pile of bedding, the remainder of his clothing lost in the transition from standing to stretched out above me. No thought involved as legs spread wide to accommodate the span of his waist between them as he settles, the brush of his cock against mine making me pulse again, slicking the slide as he rocks into me. 

My hands fall away from him to stretch above my head in surrender, (when had I even given in so completely?), as he pulls back slightly, his face more serious and open than I remember ever seeing it. A bottle of lube from fuck knows where, wetting fingers that disappear between us as I keep my gaze on him. Gasp out a breath when his hand grazes my aching cock for the briefest moment before continuing its way further down, my legs spreading wider, hips canting up, as slippery fingers slide over that sensitive bit of skin behind my balls and down, between, there. Flicker of heat in Clark's eyes as the pad of a finger finds that furled ring of muscle, only the merest circling needed before it relaxes, welcoming the intrusion. 

Years of sex without bottoming, without another man's fingers inside me, and after just one time with him, already it feels so natural, opening to him, giving him this part of me. And so different than last night, my urgent, raw need for more and more, replaced with a connoisseur's appreciation of his quickly learned skill. Savoring the way he eases his forefinger into me, his free hand at my hip, pinning me to the floor, the disallowment of movement allowing me to just lay there, just let myself really feel it, the way I never have before. It's…transcendent. His eyes, boring into mine, willing me to understand, to see myself the way he does. 

I'd let the knowledge of the literal bond between us fade into the background once we'd arrived at the barn, distracted by all of - this. I feel it again, now, a thrum running between us, and I can't help but gasp. 

"Clark." God, my voice has never sounded so ragged in my own ears, my breath coming out in short, audible huffs, and I have a flash of fear that my asthma has suddenly returned under the strain of so much emotion after years of denial. "Oh, God, please."

Another finger slips into me, Clark's head dipping down to brush his lips over mine as the digits stroke and stretch. There's no burn to it, surprisingly, even though I know my accelerated healing would have undone nearly all of last night's work by now. Just the slightest pinch as muscle loosens, and then pleasure, pure and honest pleasure. I feel the steady drip of pre-cum slicking my stomach as he thrusts slowly, have to fight the urge to reach down and touch, knowing it probably would bring this all to an embarrassingly quick end. I've made sex last for hours before cumming even once, but with him, it's just. Right. There. He tests my stamina and will with every touch, every look. 

I know you deserve much better

Remember the time I told you the way that I felt

And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself

Let's hold onto each other above everything else

Start over, start over

A few more strokes, and a third finger wiggles in, slightly snug, but still painless. I can tell he's deliberately avoiding my prostate, attempting to make this the least difficult for me that he can. I know there's wetness shining in the corners of my eyes, and know he notices it when his brow furrows minutely. Thankfully, he doesn't break the silence he's kept since he started stripping me bare. 

Barely notice the addition of his pinky, and I swear, he could fist me right now, and it wouldn't be any more difficult than the slight tug of skin as it's stretched taut around the breadth of his knuckles. If this moment wasn't so enthralling, if his face weren't so intently solemn, I might have begged for it. As it is, I already feel so completely owned, a realization that should have alarmed someone so thoroughly un-ownable as me. He's claimed me, through and through; I will never find this myriad swirl of emotions in the attentions of anyone else, even if I searched across the entire universe. God, I want to be worthy of this man, and he believes I already am. Fuck. I'm going to have to make some enormous changes in LuthorCorp. 

To turn this around

I'll do whatever it takes

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

One more deep, gentle stroke, and suddenly gone. Empty for the briefest second, barely enough to voice a mournfully breathy, pathetic, sound of disappointment, before the thick tip of his cock is breaching me. None of that hesitancy of night, no need for guidance, just the slow, steady slide of steel-hard flesh. Hand no longer pinning me in place, and my legs shift to brace against his sides as he stretches back out over me, hands wrapping firmly around my forearms, bracing us both. Feeling of fullness as he bottoms out, and a flare of light and heat from the band of silver clamped around my wrist.

Clark's POV:

Y'know, one of these days I'm going to have sex with Lex where he doesn't shed a single tear. It better be soon, or I'm gonna end up with some kind of complex. But, unlike last night's mystery tear, these don't seem borne of pain, more like a cleansing. Like he's finally just letting it all wash over him, soak in, and maybe it will scour away the doubt and fear he has of himself. I don't know how much clearer I can be on how I feel about him, about my trust in him to be his own Lex, not the carbon-copy Lionel tried so hard to shape him into. I don't have any more words, action is all that's left, and if the damp streaks down his cheeks are anything to go by, there's been at least some headway.

Find me here and speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that's leading me

To the place where I find peace again

I'm not sure if he can even hear the music anymore, hard to tell what's making it past the intense focus he has trained on our lovemaking. I'll be sure to play this one again, repeatedly, just to make sure he gets the message. 

The feel of him around me, under me, is even more incredible than before. More than just giving into our lust for each other, this is Lex, the most willful, independent person I know, seeking guidance, asking me for help, for strength. And how could I ever deny him?

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose, you're everything

Taking the flare of light from the bracelet as a good sign, since it doesn't seem to be hurting Lex, I ease my way back, feeling my cock drag through the clenching passage. Nearly out of him as my hands slide down his arms to link my fingers through his, bracing, claiming. Slow push back into the twitching hole that opens so willingly for me, makes it so easy to be careful. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Yeah

I feel a thrum run through me, spreading out from my chest, down and outward towards Lex, like the brief connection I felt in the caves when Jor-El was transferring information into his mind. I'll have to ask Lex some time if he senses it, too. Later. Much later. 'Cause, God, not sure if I can utter anything more coherent than his name between the groans I can't hold in. 

Watery smile on his face now, small, but significant all the same, considering the startled look in his eyes. His legs lifting, wrapping around my thighs, heels digging into my ass, a wordless plea for more. And how can I deny him anything right now, with him all open and vulnerable and willing to let me be in control? 

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall

You still my heart and you take my breath away

Would you take me in, take me deeper now?

I make a quick sweep over his lithe, pale body, unable not to notice the weeping, reddened cock twitching against his stomach, its contrast that much more obvious as he strains to stay still beneath me. I pull one hand free from his as I thrust slowly, deeply into him, my fingers trailing down his arm and over to his throat, thumb tracing along his jaw. Dipping my head to capture his mouth, my hand slides down to pluck briefly at his nipple, causing Lex to moan into my mouth, before gripping around his thigh, hiking the flexing limb higher up my back. The new position lets me slip deeper into him, and Lex wrenches away from the kiss, his head arching back with a jagged keen. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Rubbing my hand over his upper thigh like I'm soothing a startled horse, I thrust again, keeping aim on his prostate now that I've found it. 

"Clark! Please…I - oh, God, don't - don't stop. Don't ever stop."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

And this, this is what was missing last night. Pure, raw need, untempered by the haze of lust and four years worth of jerk-off fantasies. That was rutting, animalistic and dirty in all the best ways, but this. This is something more. Divine. 

Lex's free hand clutches around my neck, fingers twining into my hair, his other clutching my hand tight, nails trying to dig into flesh. Pressed against him like this, I can feel his cock throb, feel the slick warmth as another spurt of pre-cum rushes out. He's sobbing softly, his head turning away into the pillows. I bury my face in the curve of his throat, inhaling the sweat-slick scent of him, and wish I could mark him visibly, worry that bit of flesh between my teeth and show the world that he is mine. This beautiful, fractured, amazing, human is mine. 

You're everything, everything

'Cause you're all I want, you're all I need

You're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want, you're all I need

Everything, everything

Tangled around each other, we fall into a rhythm, his body arching up into mine as I thrust into him. As slow as I've kept the pace, I can still feel my orgasm rushing towards me sooner than I thought possible. Lex flexes, his ass clenching around me, and I know it's a losing battle. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

"I love you, Lex. So much. God, you're beautiful, baby, just…perfect. Look at me, Lex." I watch his eyes close for a moment, some internal war taking place, before he turns his face back to mine. Jesus, he's breathtaking like this, all his walls down, and it's like I can see straight into his soul, flawed and perfect at the same time. "No matter what happens, I'll never feel like this with anyone else. I chose you before I even knew there was a choice to make."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better, any better than this?

Lex's hand slides around to cup my face, his eyes boring into mine. My thrusts stilled, my cock protesting the sudden lack of friction.

"I-I can't promise I'll never fail you, Clark, but I promise to never stop trying. Since the day of the meteor shower, my life has felt…disconnected, incomplete." Lex let out a soft laugh, his warm breath ghosting over my lips as I stared down at him. "That feeling disappeared the moment I woke up on the riverbank, and saw the eyes of an angel looking down at me."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

He drew me into a deep, sensual kiss before I could respond. Not that I'm sure I would have been able to say anything more impressive than 'wow'. If there had been any lingering doubt that maybe there was someone out there better suited to me, that squashed it. Lex is only human, to expect him not to fail at some point, to never slip back into the darkness that had surrounded him for so long, would be naïve. But, even if he does take a wrong turn on his path, I know now that he'll let me help lead him back in the right direction. As he kissed me, he writhed against me, thrusting down on my cock, urging me back into action. 

"God", he whispered against my lips, voice rough and so thoroughly erotic. "Need to cum, Clark. Make me cum, baby."

And that was it. The tenuous hold I had on my own arousal snapped. With a deep groan that almost sounded like a growl in my ears, I clutched Lex to me as I began a faster pace, my tongue thrusting into his mouth in a mirror of my cock. I could feel my climax racing closer, my balls pulling up tight, that electric tingle pooling at the base of my spine.

Orgasm looming, and wanting Lex right there with me, I slid my hand up from his leg to wrap around his cock, swallowing his moans as I started stroking the thick shaft. It doesn't take much, a few firm strokes, my thumb brushing over the head of his cock in time with each nudge of my own against his prostate, and he stiffens beneath me. Bottomed out within him, his cry of pleasure smothered within my mouth, I feel the surge of warmth rush over my hand and against our stomachs as he cums. His nails are scraping at my impenetrable skin, tugging at my hair, and his internal muscles are clamping down on me, tight enough to actually register beyond my invulnerability. All senses narrowed down to Lex, the scent of his cum, the taste of his tongue on mine, the sound and feel of him coming completely undone. It's enough to send me falling over the edge just behind him, pulsing inside him, the backflow of my cum slicking my already sticky cock as I continue thrusting into him, riding him through our mutual release. 

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Panting heavily, half-sobs hiccuping throughout, Lex goes limp in my embrace the instant his climax ends, limbs unwinding from their tangle around my body to flop unceremoniously to the floor. If he weren't so devastatingly beautiful like this, it would almost be comical. As it is, the sight of him as I open my eyes, all sprawled out and attempting to recover his wits, tear tracks down his cheeks and lips red and slightly puffy from abuse, leaves me breathless as I freeze above him, two last, powerful spurts of cum emptying into him.

"Lex," and Christ, my voice is raspy in my own ears as I finally speak, barely remembering not to just flop down on top of him. "You okay?"

He hums in acknowledgement, pulling me down onto him, seeking comfort as he comes back to himself. My deflating cock slips out of his stretched hole on a rush of wet warmth, and I can't even find it in myself to care about the mess that's going to leave. Plenty of time to hide the blanket in the laundry later. Lex snuggles into me as I roll us onto our sides, my hand rubbing down his back soothingly. Distantly, I notice the CD has started back at the beginning and the soft sound of Lex's voice singing along draws my gaze to his face. 

"Seriously, Lex. That was…intense…are you sure you're alright?"

"I will be. Trust me, Clark, I'm good at compartmentalizing. I just want to be here, with you, right now. I'll process it all later."

I sigh and give him a wary look as he gives me a quick kiss before pulling himself upright, looking around us for his discarded clothes. 

"Okay, but…promise me, if you start having some kind of freak-out, all alone in that empty castle of yours, surrounded by…everything…call me? I'll hear you, even without a phone, and I'll be there in seconds. You don't have to go through this alone, Lex. This is new, and scary, exciting, but scary, for me, too. We have to navigate this together."

I know Lex. I know, that left to his own devices, with no one to confide in, to work things out with, he'll internalize everything and let his own doubts override everything else. And that could never lead anywhere good.

Lex smiles down at me as he stands, reaching out a hand to pull me up with him. There's a lot going on behind those bright blue eyes, but I see the walls falling back into place, shuttering away the deep turmoil that had been there before. He pulls me into a tight hug, briefly nuzzling his nose into my neck.

"I promise, Clark."

Lex releases me and starts rooting around for his jeans. I have to look away when he bends down to retrieve them, my spent cock twitching interestedly at the sight of his ass, the light glistening on the trails of cum wetting the backs of his thighs. Busying myself with my own redressing distracts my teenage libido enough that I'm not too uncomfortable by the time I pull my zipper up.

Once we're both dressed, I pull him into my arms, my eyes roving over his face, memorizing. There's still a bit of openness there, enough to see the determination to succeed cementing within him. When a Luthor sets themself on a goal, it's like a dog with a bone. A soft smile twists my lips as I dip my head to capture his mouth, my tongue soothing over his kiss-bruised lips before delving between them.

I'm so focused on Lex, his taste and the scent of his sweat and cum still filling my senses, I barely hear the soft gasp over the sound of his moan and the music still playing from the speakers. The clatter and crash of ceramic on the wooden floor breaks through, though. Wrenching away from each other, as one, our heads whip around towards the stairs. I gulp loudly at the sight of the figure standing on the top step. 

"Oh, my God."

*******

@leatafandom

#clex #smallville fanfic #smallville #lemon

[sio-writes]

Sacrifice - Chapter 8

<Chapter 7

<<Chapter 1

Summary: This winter has been brutal, and Kyla is out of options. So, with teary eyes, she takes her best goat into the woods, hoping for some pity from whatever god finds her. And oh, she is found.

Tags: Casual alcohol consumption; NSFW; sexual manipulation through edging

Aurelius continues his routine and I continue mine, and we step around each other like ghosts, neither acknowledging the other's presence or ignoring completely. Dachaigh keeps me company while I mull over my conversation with Eodine. 

Aurelius, as it turns out, is very good at hiding, both himself and his things. Dachaigh must be in leagues with him, because after examining every book on the lower floor I still have the exact same information as last week. No other journal or anything written in Aurelius’ handwriting exists where I can reach.

The upper floors are impossible, too. When I try to reach even the closest one, just one level up, the height makes me so dizzy I can barely grab a handful of books before I fall over the railing. I go through each with a swift hand, only stopping to squint at the handwriting before moving onto the next. The process takes up my morning energy, and I quietly pray for the goat’s forgiveness in skipping their breakfast.

But each book I pull down is a dead end. Nothing. And my patience thins with each hour that drags on.

After several days of searching and coming up empty handed, I’m too frustrated to continue. I leave Aurelius’ home and walk down the river path to the changeling cottage, and they greet me with smiles and hugs.

Gregory leads me by the hand to the back of the house, where the group is engrossed in some kind of game. There’s a square folding board on the low table surrounded by an array of drinks, and in the center is a tower of wooden blocks, stacked in alternating rows of three,and several have been removed making the tower lean dangerously to the right. In the corner of the room is a phonograph, much fancier than I've ever seen, softly playing an easy tune with instruments I've never heard before. The music fills the brief pauses, carrying the conversations like boats on a wave.

Sveta offers me her seat, but I don’t know how to play the game, so I find a free spot on the end of the couch and watch until I understand the rules. 

The game starts with a person carefully removing one of the colored blocks from the tower, and written on the block is an action they must perform. If they don’t perform the action, they draw two more blocks, and then four, and then eight and so on. The most common actions involve the drinks such as adding more alcohol or finishing it off and making another, and the other actions are usually small things, like standing on one foot for the duration of the game, or only speaking in chicken squawks. I think Kimiko even threw some household chores in there, given that she smirks each time one of her blocks is drawn.

By the look of the half-empty glasses and opened bottles and tilting tower, they're nearly through with this round. They're all energetic and full of laughter, and it's hard not to laugh with them, leaning in every time someone pulls a block and the tower jolts dangerously. 

Gregory's turn is the last of this round-- he's swaying on his knees as he leans over the table, tapping on the edge of a block with short nails, leaving a single block in the center to carry all the weight above it. The moment Gregory removes his block, the tower collapses and the whole group throws jeers at him. 

Another round is set up, and Sveta turns to me. 

“Kaitlyn, you should play!” she encourages, and I chew the inside of my cheek as I consider it.

I’ve only been out drinking once or twice, when my mother and my schedule both permitted it. But the ale at the town tavern was watered down and chalky, and our tavernkeep lacked the gold for anything of higher quality, so I only needed those few trips to steer me away from the bar for good. But the drinks here are more colorful, the glass bottles of alcohol and spirits on the table remind me of the bathroom soaps that Dachaigh lets me use.

They're all looking at me expectantly, even icy Josefina is staring a challenge, and I am truly interested in this game, the rowdiness and jeering have drawn me in. I finally concede. 

“I suppose so,” I say, and Gregory jumps from the spot he’s standing in, legs fused together from the last block he chose as he hops to the kitchen.

“Whaddya like, Kate?” he shouts. 

“Anything but ale,” I respond as both Sveta and Emile crunch themselves together to make room for me.

Gregory steps out of the kitchen, walking normally and sticking his nose up at the boos and hisses of the others.

"I'm not spilling this beautiful drink," he says as he sets it in front of me. The drink is bubbly, with the top a bright cranberry-red that fades to clear at the bottom, and he's taken a wedge of lime and stuck it to the rim. 

"It's a good beginner cocktail, but you'll wanna stir it first," Gregory says, nudging my shoulder with his own and winking at me. 

I stir the drink with my finger until the whole thing is a pale pink, and then I pop my finger into my mouth. Oh! It is cranberry! And the fizziness reminds me of ale, but with a different taste, it's not bitter or lingering. I most definitely feel the burn of alcohol behind it all, but the cranberry and this sweet fizzy drink have cut through it. 

I take a long sip of my drink and Gregory rests his shoulder against mine. "You like it?" 

"I do, thank you so much."  

The next tower is set up while I sip on my drink, and I share pleasantries with Gregory and Sveta. They tell me to come visit more often, to stop by with more fruit, and it makes me feel warm that they enjoy my company. Kimiko asks about my dress, and when I tell her I made it her mouth opens on an 'O', and starts the others on a tirade of questions about how I made it. 

The dress is one from the fabric stocks from the market, a deep purple with a triangle pattern woven in. It had been one of the nicer fabrics I'd received and wanted to use right away, and their acknowledgment of my craftsmanship makes me want to hide behind my drink. I've always loved to sew.

The game starts with Sveta and goes through each person, and eventually my turn is up. I copy Josefina's method of testing a few blocks with my fingers to see if they're loose, and pull one out with ease, squinting at the small script. “Um, I have to…” I flip the block around, but that doesn’t make the words magically appear.

“My handwriting can’t be that bad,” Gregory jokes, leaning over my shoulder to examine the block.

I puff my cheeks out, indignant. “I’m still learning,” I mutter, embarrassed, but the alcohol numbs the effect.

Gregory reaches for the block, turning it back over, and making a noise of understanding. “It says you can’t speak a word for the next hour,” Gregory says, and blows a stray piece of hair from his face. “Well that’s far too easy for you. You’re as quiet as a church mouse.”

“Draw another,” Sveta says, eyes glittering. They all turn to me with the same expression as Sveta chants, “Do it, do it!” And as the rest join in, I laugh.

Their joy is infectious. I know I need to stand my ground in this world, but this feels like an exception. I’m among friends, I realize, and friends aren’t something I’ve had in years. I want them to like me, I want to gain their approval, to be part of the group even though I don’t live with them. Even Josefina is wearing a smirk as they all lean in. I draw a second block and they all cheer, and it’s hard not to smile at their energy. 

This block is much easier to read: Take a shot. “What’s a shot?”

“It’s a swig of pure alcohol,” Kimiko says.

“That…sounds horrible,” I say, and the others laugh as if I’ve made a joke.

“It is,” Kimiko says, nodding. “That’s why you gotta drink it fast.”

Emile holds up two large bottles, both nearly empty save for a few fingers of clear liquid in the bottom. “Tequila or vodka?”

My head is already pleasantly swimming from the drink Gregory made me, and my words come out before I have a chance to think, “Whichever will get me drunk faster.”

This isn't like me, I usually think before I speak. Should I be worried about what they may get me to do if I become too drunk? My gut tells me 'no' but my gut is also requesting more alcohol, so I'm not sure how trustworthy it is at the moment.

“Tequila, definitely,” Emile says, handing me the bottle in his right hand. It smells foul when I bring it to my nose, and I wonder if the other one would’ve been any better.

"Oo-- wait!" Gregory bounces up and jumps into the kitchen, and comes back with a sliver of lime and the table salt. "Do it this way, makes it easier to swallow."

Sveta snickers behind her hand and Gregory flips her off before showing me the process. Salt on the hand first, then tequila, then bite down on the lime. At first glance it seems like a lot, but I manage to do everything in the right order. The tequila tastes foul, but it warms my belly as it goes down.

The game continues for another hour, another round of drinks and even more shots. There’s laughter and gossip and chatter all around, and it’s easy to fall back and let it take me wherever it needs to go. I’m giddy, I feel lighter than air, I want to spread myself over the couch and take a nap.

Eventually, the game is abandoned in favor of conversation. They’re not confined to a single place like I am, lucky bastards. They can go to and from the market, learn magic on their own time, and even meet up with other fae without worrying about a hulking guardian in their shadow.

Their looks are deceiving as well. Sveta is nearly three times my age, and Gregory claims he was brought here nearly forty years ago.

I originally came here for a break, but maybe they have answers for me. I wait for a lull in conversation before asking, “Do you all know anything about Aure— the forest god?”

“Only that he’s terrifying,” Gregory says, laughing. “But he’s very important. Oversees the forests everywhere.”

I scoot forward. “Has he ever brought another human here?”

Gregory squints. “I dunno. Sveta you’ve been here the longest, has he ever brought a human back?”

Sveta’s head falls heavily to the side as she purses her lips. “Not that I remember.”

Kimiko mutters behind me, “He probably ate them.”

Gregory balks. “Kimi! That’s not nice.”

“What? We’re all thinking it! He’s the most powerful god this side of the world, and he picks a single human to shack up with? Of course there was one before, there’s probably hundreds he brought back! They probably realized how horrifying he is and tried to take off, and he ate them!”

The others laugh, but Emile hums in thought. “That sounds awfully sad,” he says. “To seek out companionship in another only to have them leave.”

Emile has been almost as quiet as I’ve been this evening. Not brooding, but observing. I get the feeling he’s very studious, maybe he could help me learn to read.

“That’s on him, though,” Josefina says. “That’s not the humans’ problem.”

“How do you get rid of something ingrained into your very being, though?”

Kimiko kicks her feet onto the table, brushing several blocks to the floor. “Don’t know, don’t care. Do you wanna live with him?”

“No, but I know someone who already does,” he says, nodding his head towards me.

I move to rub my arm, but overshoot and my hand winds up wrapping around the side and back. "I don't think he's all bad. Kind of pushy, but not cruel."

"Interesting," Kimiko says, leaning forward. "Tell us more.”

My face is already flushed from the alcohol, but I feel it growing steadily worse the longer the group looks at me, and that urge to please them comes back. I tell them what I can, about the house with its winding halls and nonsense layout. I tell them how Aurelius leaves me alone most of the day, of the animals I tend to and the library where I sleep. Telling them feels like unclogging a stream, the words flow forth  and before I know it I’m speaking of our relationship— the woes we’ve been having recently.

I finish my tirade with a huge sigh, letting my chin fall into my hand. “How do I make him listen?”

“How have you gotten his attention in the past?”

I flush as I remember. “Sex, usually.”

“Then do that!”

“Isn’t that…not right?”

She scoffs. “You’re a woman! You have to use what the gods gave you. Besides, you’re not dealing with a regular human, or even a standard fair folk. You’re bargaining with a god.”

I mull over her words for far too long, and GRegory claps me over the shoulder. “Kimi’s right, you’ve got to use what you’re given.”

I hum, thinking it over. It doesn’t sit easy in my stomach, but it’s the only thing I haven’t tried yet, the only thing left. I don’t want to manipulate Aurelius through this, but what other choice has he given me?

Sveta’s eyes glitter as she says, “Let us know how it works out.”

***

The walk back and a skein of water clears my head enough for me to walk up the stairs and navigate the halls back to the library. It's still difficult; the sun has long since gone down and I've never navigated the path in the dark before, let alone walking it backwards and slightly inebriated. But I make it back, carefully stepping around a each book I’d tossed aside.

We haven’t spoken since he confessed his love for me. Would he be suspicious of my actions? Pick up on the deception? Even thinking of deceiving Aurelius through such a manner makes my mouth sour. I tip the remaining water into my mouth and swallow as I think.

He’s not listened to me in a way that matters, not since we came here. I want him to hear me, to see me as more than a pet or trinket to be toted around. I’m not a handbag, and he needs to see things my way. If the only way is to train his attention on something else while I get what I need, then so be it.

And I’m pretty enough to pull this off! My hair is clean and my skin unblemished, my frame isn’t too manish from chores or my nails dirty. I’m decent at sex, I suppose I could be better, more confident in my abilities. The show I’d put on for Aurelius at the altar had been a good start, but what else is there?

The world tilts as I swing my legs over the sill and stand far too fast, but I have my wits about me in a moment’s time. I can do this, I can.

The door to Aurelius’ room is heavier than I remember, but I may be weaker at the moment. Still, it slides open without a sound and I step into the warm air of his quarters.

I whisper to the room, “Aurelius?”

No response. Listening, I hear the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing. Perfect.

As I crawl into the nest and around Aurelius' huge sleeping animal body, he rouses awake.

“Kyla…?” He says, voice low, lifting his head to look at me. He stills, taking in my nudity. “Are you hurt?”

He surges forward, inky arms coming from his form to pat me down. They're warm from sleep, warmer than usual, soft and attentive in their motions.

“I’m fine, I’m fine! I just…” I trail off, shifting my weight from foot to foot. No, this won't do. Confidence. If I want something, I have to take it. I grab one of the hands that was patting me down and hold it to my breast.

Aurelius pauses, parsing my meaning, and a low, pleased growl making me and the whole nest shiver. Without another word, shadowy tendrils pick me up off the ground, holding my wrists together and my legs apart. I kick and thrash with what little movement I'm allowed as Aurelius grabs one of my feet and presses my knee to my chest. “Wait!” 

He stops immediately, hovering over me in that massive, animalistic form. “Is this not part of the game?”

I shake my head, deciding to unpack that comment later, and give him my best pout. “I want to play a different game. Would you lie back for me?”

He stares at me for a long moment, before releasing me from his grasp and setting me down on the floor. “As you wish,” he says quietly. His form shrinks to the one I’m familiar with, the shadowy cloak falling away to reveal the rest of his body. Still like a man’s body, with long limbs and dark skin that blends into the shadows and shimmers out of focus the longer I look at it. His skin is rough like cloth, and the muscle underneath flexes as he moves.

“You weren’t here today,” he says, keeping his gaze on me as I throw my dress over my head. It lands in a far corner of the nest, where I can get to it later.

"I was with friends," I reply quietly.

"The humans," he growls, and I nod. "You're supposed to stay here."

"I’m not doing that," I say, surprising myself with how firm my voice is.

Aurelius doesn't ask me anything further after that. He remains reclined like I asked, but I see his hands flexing against the floor as I step forward and spread my fingers over his belly.

“Why don’t you show me this more?” I ask as I run my hand up his stomach. I’m so preoccupied with seeing him— truly seeing him since that first time— that I nearly miss how his breath hitches at my touch. My heart skips over itself in nervousness. This is going to be easy.

“What is this new game?” He asks instead, long hands wrapping around my wrist and pulling me forward. My hand glides up over his ribs, past his chest to land on his shoulder.

“It’s called, uh, bartering,” I say.

Aurelius stares at me, and says flatly, “I know what bartering is.”

I grin, showing my teeth. “Wonderful! Then you already know how to play.”

I swing my leg over his hips and smooth my hands up his chest. I can't lose myself to him this time, I need my wits about me if I want this to go the way I need it to. The notion of what I’m about to do as some sort of transaction has that sour feeling returning, but I push it back. As much as I don’t like it, this is how we fit together, there isn’t an alternative. 

My heart lurches again-- even when I’m just sitting on him, I can already feel him hardening against my ass. 

"I give you something," I say, reaching behind my back and blindly feeling until my hand wraps around his cock. "You give me something back."

Aurelius doesn't immediately respond, and even props himself up on his arms like he means to throw me off. Instead, he leans forward, reaching out a hand as if to cup my face. But he stops at the last moment, so close I can feel the heat of his skin, and pulls his hand back and lowers himself to the floor. 

"Alright," he mumbles, almost too low for me to hear, and he sounds sad. I need to fix that.

I throw my leg back over his hips so I'm kneeling at his side, and I grasp his half-hard cock with both hands. My fingers don't meet at the widest part and even with stacked fists the head of him breaches my fingers. He's still as big as I remember him. 

He hardens fully at my touch, and I'm flattered that he still feels this way, I was so sure I'd ruined myself for him. I want to meet his starry eyes, but I can't bring myself to do it. It's too much, but I have to push forward. 

I shift my hand down so I can lick over the tip, tonguing the sensitive underside as I gently squeeze my hands. He tastes of iron, sharp and subtle, and smells like the forest. I take the head of him into my mouth and he gasps, the hand closest to me resting on the back of my head, brushing my hair away from my face, and I want him to leave it there, to guide me because I have no idea what I’m doing, but that’s not part of this game.

I pull off with a wet noise, spit lewdly trailing from my lips to his cock, and I frown up at him. “No, hands down.”

Immediately, his hand disentangles from my hair, and I do want the warmth back, but I can focus better like this. The branching antlers at the back of his head have his head set at an odd angle, but even with his snout pointed towards the ceiling, I can feel his gaze on me, watching.

I swallow hard. His gaze is intense, it makes me want to perform well. Like when he watched me strip, I want to please him, I want to surprise him somehow. 

I squeeze my thighs together as I lean forward and take his cock into my mouth again, releasing my top hand so I can take it further down. The lowest I can go without gagging is only halfway, so I move my hands in time with my head to make up the difference. 

At the contact, Aurelius chokes a noise, shifting his hips again as I bob my head at a slow, steady pace. 

I learn quickly that he enjoys certain things: attention on the head, and a forceful pace over a faster one. I have no idea if this is working, or if I’m even doing this right, but I follow the sounds he makes, the noises he swallows down. 

The only time I ever heard about this sort of fucking was gossip with the ladies of town. They spoke of how unpleasant it was, how their husbands always wanted it. But I don’t find this unpleasant. I only have to worry about the growing arousal between my legs which is easy to ignore, leaving me able to focus on Aurelius. His hips twitch when I squeeze my hands, his claws are pulling up that layer of down on the floor, and his breathing is almost in time with my movements. 

This is a heady feeling, I realize as I twist my hands and run my tongue over his head again, tasting salt and heat. Aurelius gasps beneath me, and another bead of precome blooms over my tongue. I wait for another, when his breathing turns ragged and his legs begin to shake, to pull away with an obscene sound.

He groans to the ceiling, and his cock twitches in my hands. He turns his head down to me fully, and huffs a breath through his nose.

"Why did you stop?"

My smile is easy, and my heart is racing. "I need something from you."

"Kyla…" he warns, his voice a low growl. I frown, but I'm frowning at myself. I must not have done well enough.

I sit up and straddle his hips, lifting myself onto my knees and positioning the glistening head of his cock at my entrance. The position forces me to settle the rest of my weight on my free hand, which I place directly over his heart. "Please?" I ask, pouting.

Before he can respond, I sink my hips down. It's not without pain, but I can push it to the back of my mind for now. The moment I settle my weight on his hips, Aurelius moans outright, something I haven't heard before. 

While I adjust, my hazy mind grinds away. I can't ask about the other human right out of the gate, I'll need a smaller favor so this doesn't backfire. I rest my other hand next to the first, and I feel his heartbeat like a bird underneath my fingers.

"I want more magic." 

Aurelius rests his hands on my waist. "Of course."

"Hands down," I order, and he starts like he's been shocked. His hands hover over my legs for a breath, before he sets them back on the ground, palms against the floor. I shiver at the rush of power that moves through me. I grind my hips forward and back, chasing my own pleasure on that rush, disregarding why I started this and instead finding something else. 

Oh, how I've missed this. The few times we've had sex since I've been here have been so…emotionally charged, like electricity beneath my fingers, here one moment and gone the next. But this, this is heat under my skin, the sun against my face, a spiraling pool of pleasure where I don't have to worry about any negative emotions. It's like the first time.

"Gods, this feels good," I moan, and Aurelius bucks beneath me. 

Slowly I gain my faculties, slowing my hips and eventually stopping. “Will you teach me more magic?”

He groans, a fist thumping against the floor. “When I have the time.”

I roll my hips once and he twitches like I've hit him. “That’s not an answer.”

He exhales, and I feel the strain in his muscles as he remains still. "Whatever you want."

I grind my hips slowly. "I want more magic."

"Of course."

I reward him with an agonizingly slow pace, and I have to hold back a laugh as he shudders beneath me. His hips are moving with mine, little thrusts he can't control that shove his cock that much deeper into me. It pushes the air from my lungs, and spurs me on. "Are you going to give it to me?"

"Yes," he breathes. "Yes, I will."

This is dangerous. I feel powerful, untouchable. I could ask him for anything-- no, I could command him to do anything, and he'd be at my mercy. This all-powerful god is like wet clay in my hands.

But then, like a clap of lightning, I remember that he's lied to me, that he's toted me around like an object, treated me like an afterthought. I remember why I'm doing this, and all the heat under my skin, all the arousal and feeling of power, pops. My stomach churns as I realize I can't bring myself to finish this.

I stop all movement, slipping forward and off his cock, and he whines. "Kyla…"

"Will you—“

“Now,” Aurelius growls. 

Despite the ice in my veins, the nest is getting warmer by the second, and I'm not sure how much longer he's going to last. It's now or never. “Was there another human before me?”

The very air freezes with the next thump of my heart. 

“Where did you get that idea?” he says slowly, and I want to slam my hands on his chest. The fair folk won’t lie, but that doesn't mean they aren't capable. 

“Tell me and I’ll let you come,” I say, pushing my hips back until I feel the hard length of him pressing against my ass. I'm losing control of the situation fast. I need answers.

Aurelius growls, and there’s a timbre to it, pitched low and dangerous. He used this on Gregory when he took me away from the market, and again when he brought me back. He’s angry. Not the fun, teasing anger that arouses me, but the hard, volatile anger of an ancient god with an ego.

“Who told you?” he asks, voice quiet and dangerous, which only sparks my anger brighter.

“You lied to me,” I press, leaning forward and bracing my hands on his chest. “So what happened?” And when Aurelius doesn’t reply, my anger comes out full force. “Did you eat them? Kill them? Tell me!"

Aurelius sits up in a flash, and I tumble to the side of the nest. As I fumble to my hands and knees, angry tears prick at my eyes. "What else are you keeping from me? What else have you lied about?!" I stand on shaking legs and wipe the tears as they fall.

Aurelius rights himself, sitting, and crosses his arms over his chest. "It was for your protection."

"It's for your protection!"

"Don't be ridicu-- Kyla!" He tries to stop me as I snatch my dress and storm out as fast as my legs will allow me. I take the barest of moments to pull the dress over my head before I'm fleeing Dachaigh and headed towards the Forest of Souls.

I can't do this anymore. I don't want to be here. And I know of a place where he'll never find me again.

I don't have any books, any extra clothes, I don't even have food or water, but I don't care. Anything is better than staying here for another minute.

I'm several dozen steps towards the forest when I pause to catch my breath. I ran all the way through Dachaigh to get out, and I ran until I was under moonlight and then some more. I'm nearly to the treeline, that soft lilting melody calling to me again, when I look back.

Dachaigh still towers up to the heavens, an obelisk in the nighttime air, as if she's swallowing the sky itself.

With space to think now, I'm hit with a pang of melancholy. I can't consider this place home, but living within those walls has been comfortable. Dachaigh is a good friend, and when Aurelius was there I enjoyed his company. It wasn't enough, but what little I did get, I treasured. The animals will miss me, I think, and I'll miss the routine. Mortimer may wonder where I've gone, and I wonder how long it will take him to realize that I'm not coming back. I won't be able to see Gregory, or Sveta, or Kimiko. I'll even miss Josefina's tilted smirks.

I turn back to the forest, and run straight into a solid shadow.

“Where are you going?” Aurelius asks, arms crossed over his chest. He's pulled himself to his full height, towering over me and blocking my line of sight to the forest. He's wearing the traveling cloak he always does, although it's askew over his shoulders as if he rushed to put it on. I stumble back, if only to allow myself space to breathe.

“I…I…”

He tilts his head like a bird, this way and that, getting a better look at me, and says again, angrily, “I ask again: Where are you going?”

I straighten, solid in my confidence. “I’m leaving.”

“You can’t,” he says simply.

I scoff. “And why not?”

“I will find you.”

“Not if I want to be lost!”

He growls, the sound reminding me of a predator. “I will not let you.”

“Like hell you will!” I push past him, making a wide arc and trying to run again.

I’m only a handful of steps past Aurelius when his large arm wraps over my waist and yanks me back. He pulls me into his body, his head above me, and he laughs. It's a chilling sound, his great jaw opening and his teeth gleaming in the moonlight. “You think you can escape me? I’ve already marked you as mine.”

I struggle against his grip the same way an insect struggles against a spider's web. “I don’t want it! I want to leave!” I push myself out of his grasp and the second I hit the ground, I start to run.

“Kyla!” He shouts, but I keep running. Almost there, almost there! “You will listen to me!”

“I’m done!” I shout back, and it hurts, oh it hurts so much to say. I’m leaving both Aurelius and my heart on the ground in front of his home. "I'm done with the whims of a single forest god!"

He catches up easily, and I'm back to struggling against his grip again. His growl shakes the trees, rumbles the very ground I'm standing on. “I am the god of every forest.”

“You do not have domain over me!” I struggle in his vice-like grip, tears streaming down my face. I was so close, so close. “Get the fuck off—I hate you!”

Aurelius pauses, and I know I hit a nerve. I didn't mean it-- it just came out. I want to correct myself, but I struggle to find the point. It's what it took for Aurelius to let me go.

The grass is wet and cold beneath my bare feet as he gently sets me down. I gather my skirts in one hand-- it'll make my trek through the underbrush quicker.

"If you wish to leave," he starts, slowly releasing me from his grasp and angling me towards the wood.

The quick change in his demeanor throws me off course. I snap my head around to look at him, and I see that he's shrinking down, skull transforming from that sharp-toothed predator I saw at the market and into his normal deer.

"Then go," he snaps, jaw clicking shut.

I take a step forward. The forest is pitch black, I can't make out anything beyond the treeline. The energy wafting from it is dangerous, yet tempting. I could truly get lost in there. Alone for eternity.

Even still, I look back at Aurelius. He's sat on the ground, legs curled up, long arms wrapped around them. His great head rests on his knees, angled towards me, watching. Not like a predator about to pounce, but a creature resigned to its own pain. When he sits on the ground like this, only his antlers are taller than me.

I look back to the forest, and I hear her whispering call, a lullaby to lure me into the depths of this ancient, consuming wood. Closing my eyes, I sway to the soft tune, a melody that rolls over itself, transforming and rearranging. It wants me to play, wants me to join them.

The spell is broken, interrupted by a low whine, like an injured animal. It's coming from behind me, and I suck in a breath as I turn just far enough to see Aurelius out of the corner of my eye. He's still sitting on the ground, watching me, and I'm hit with a realization.

I don't want to leave him, not forever. I want to get away from this harmful, sticky relationship that we're in. One where I have to get him mad to make him listen to me. Where he doesn't take me seriously until I threaten to harm myself.

Without a word, I close the distance between us. He remains still, even when I grab his great skull with both hands. His voice is barely audible, "I will miss you terribly." 

And heaving a sigh, his form melts into the ground, along with it his skull, which shrinks down. He's making himself small for my benefit again.

This is the Aurelius I want to talk to. The understanding, calm one, as opposed to the volatile, angry god I've been interacting with.

I sigh through my nose, and avoid the urge to sit with him, standing my ground. I haven't fully decided to stay, not yet. "What happened to the other humans you brought here, Aurelius?"

Sensing my hesitation, Aurelius leans into my touch, but I'm not ready for that yet, so I pull away and let my hands rest at my side. I need the truth, even if it's just to know why.

"There was only one before you," he says. "It was just as I've said: he ran in fear. I lost him in the woods." Again, he tries to knock my arm with his head in his form of intimacy, but I twist away from it. He rears his head up in offense, but when I make no moves to reciprocate, he rests his chin back over his knees. 

"You lied to me," I say.

"I did."

"Why?"

It’s a long, quiet moment before he answers slowly, "I did not want the cycle of time to roll over again. I asked him the same that I asked you, and he said yes. So, I brought him here. " 

His head tilts the other way, resting on his folded arms. "And he hated it here, as you do. He hated our home, hated this place. Recoiled at my touch and refused to speak to me. And then one morning, he was gone." He shifts uncomfortably. "But you called me beautiful, and I thought this time would be different. I knew once I had you that I'd never find another. So I did everything with you that I didn’t with him. I gave you space, let you be. I was just happy to have our home filled with life again." 

I look back to the woods as I turn his words over in my head. The temptation to leave has weakened, but I can still feel it. Eodine's words float back to me: No one would ever bother you anymore.

And that doesn't sound bad. Peaceful, even. But would I enjoy that life? Is that the way I want to live? I'd be alone, forever. I'd never see another human, or even another soul, for that matter, and I don't want to take a path like that. Could I live without companionship for eternity? I was willing to give up my entire life for this god to stay by my side. 

I sigh, to myself and the world around me. No matter what path I take, a path away from Aurelius would be…lacking. I'd miss him terribly, just as he'd miss me. 

I run my thumb along a line of silver in Aurelius' antlers, the shape closer to the branch of a tree than any kind of animal. He's shown me so little of himself, but I haven't shown him much of myself either. If we have the rest of eternity together, I'd like the chance to know him better, and let him know me. 

"Aurelius…" I say, sighing. "I'm not afraid of you. But you treat me like an object. I'm not a pet."

“I taught you magic,” he says. “I involved you in the festival planning and brought you gifts. I wouldn’t do that for a pet.”

I sigh, pushing a lock of hair from my face. "I sleep alone, I eat alone, and I live my life in that library, alone. When we're actually together it feels like you're a ghost. You cart me around like a child and treat me like—" I stop myself, my air coming out in a rush. "You asked me to plan your festival and then discounted all of my notes."

"But it is tradition to lay the vendors a certain way," he says, tone soft and conversational. 

I roll my eyes. "Is it tradition to bring a human into your home?"

He pauses, which tells me that he hadn’t considered it. "I suppose not," he says. 

He did remember that I wanted to learn magic, something I mentioned nearly a month ago; he chased after me thinking I had been stolen, and put a tracking spell on me so he’d never lose me again. He thinks he loves me, and whatever that may mean truly, to him it's something important.

He sighs, mimicking me with a dramatic heave of his shoulders. "Much of the time, I am a stone in the river, pushing everything around me and unable to change my own path. I was trying to give you space so you would want to remain here, so you weren't afraid."

That makes sense, in a strange, Aurelius-esque way. It’s almost sweet, him realizing that his presence frightens others and taking steps to minimize it. I rest my hands over top one of his, and he turns his palm sideways to curl his fingers around mine.

"You left me alone," I mutter. “You know I don’t like that.”

"You weren't alone."

I try not to roll my eyes or smile. He said it so genuinely. "Dachaigh isn't you."

He speaks slowly, as if in realization, "You…prefer me." 

He sounds so surprised that I can't help but laugh. “I do.”

“You want to be with me.”

I snort. "All the power you wield, and you couldn’t piece together that I enjoy your company."

"You want to eat meals with me."

"I do."

"You want to sleep with--" I cover his snout with my hands, laughing.

"Yes, yes, you big dummy! I like being around you, except when you're being rude and pushy. I like this world you've brought me to, and the home you’ve opened up to me. I like--" I stop and bite my tongue before I say something lewd.

But the stars in his eyes sparkle as he asks, "Yes?"

And I'm very bad at denying him. "I like getting you so angry that you fuck me within an inch of my life."

He chuffs. "There are other ways to get me to fuck you."

"But," I flush, looking resolutely at his bony snout and not his eyes. "I enjoy that way."

He hums, low and approving. "Because you are mine."

"Yes," I say softly, enjoying the word on my tongue. "At least, I want to be."

"Then you are," he says, leaning forward to knock my head with his, but he stop halfway, waiting for me. I reach out my arms and pull him forward, closing the gap. My temple gently taps the side of his head, and warmth curls in my chest at the contact.

"This is called a truce. I'm giving you another chance." Even saying it has me feeling lighter. I have confidence in Aurelius, I know he can do better. I've seen it.

He hums. “How am I to repay you?" 

I let my head fall against his chest, and I can feel his heartbeat in my ear, quick yet strong. "Not everything is a debt to be paid." 

"It is here." His voice vibrates through his chest.

"Not between us." Not anymore. I feel the very spark of my being, maybe it's my soul, release all the tension I'd been holding for the past month as I relax into Aurelius.

The pull of the forest, that steady, whispering voice that promised me a life of solitude, is gone.

#my writing #sacrifice #nsfw. #monster writing #monsterfucker #monster boyfriend #monster lover #terato writing #skullhead #I think that's the most widely accepted moniker outside of the 'w' word which i refuse to use

[van-yangyin]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

Thank you @honeybeenrw and @stargazer-sims for tagging me 🙇💕

If it seems like a lot of text, don't force yourself to read it, you can simply ignore it. Sometimes I write too much, I know.

1.- What’s your favorite sims death? Sims eaten by cowplants, although there is an anecdote from when I was little that is very funny because I had a little "trauma" with that death. When I first played The Sims Take the Street on PS2 (the first sims game I played for the first time in my life) together with Lea, we made sims from Fushigi Yugi and we put them to live in a house… They all ended up being eaten by mutant plant (a plant similar to cowplant in that time), being the last one Amiboshi just after his twin brother Suboshi… It was one of our first games so adding a mutant plant was like, "What is this? Let's put it in, it sounds fun" and it ended up being a bit of a shock since at that time we had no internet, no guides or anything and everything was new, from that time for me at the end, after that experience it's ended up being fun, so being eaten by a (cow)plant it's one of my favorites sims death.

2.- Alpha CC or Maxis Match? Maxis Mix, I absolutly like more Maxis Match for hair, but with clothes I usually use both Maxis Match and/or Alpha, same with makeup or skin details, so yes, I'm consider myself Maxis Mix more towards Maxis Match.

3.- Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Why? When it comes to my/our OCs (Lea's and mine) we leave them as they wish to be, because they've gained or lost it by themselves because they have so wished, in fact one of our OCs, Carla, when gained more weight even became much more beautiful than when she had less weight, at least from our point of view.

4.- Do you use move objects? Yes, quite a lot when I have to place a lot of clutter together or I have to place in a special way the constructions to do what I want and look for.

5.- Favorite mod? I would say MCCC, but there are many times it causes me a headache.

6.- First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Get to Work on realease. (Lea bought it, not me, but he likes to share, I mean it's stupid to buy the same thing twice when in gameplay we play together)

7.- Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I pronounce "Modo Vivir", but if it's in English then like aLIVE.

8.- Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? I have quite a few… They're all my cute babies, Ryuuya, Luka, Aris, Jack, Kyle, Kyla, Noah, Icaro, Carla. Lux, Kaoru, Ainosuke, Rin, Haruka, and many more but the list would go on and on... Sorry I can't choose... (And yeah we have a lot of original sims that we don't show here yet 😆)

9.- Have you made a simself? I did it once, when toddlers came out, I made myself into a toddler for a contest, but I have never done it again, and that simself no longer exists.

10.- What sim traits did you give yourself? With pack Growing Together that came out I can officially add more than three, right? Creative, Socially awkward, Ambitious, Music lover, Geek and Perfectionist. (The limit is 3 more traits, so I can't put Cat fan, Dog fan and Animal enthusiast [although these three should be considered more likes and dislikes, I don't understand how it can still be in traits], so I have them present but didn't add them, because I consider more as likes and dislikes).

11.- What is your favorite EA hair color? Red. I like black, but it changes and varies so much between different hairs and many of them look gray or bluish that they're no longer my favorite.

12.- Favorite EA hair? The two hairs that were added when Incheon Arrivals Kit came out and the hair from Snowy Escape that has two little clips on it.

13.- Favorite life stage? I don't have any favorite life stage, because all life stages are special in one way or another and I try to create sims of all kinds of ages, although maybe the ones I have the most are teenagers/young adults because I usually create a lot of sims based on video games/anime/shows if that makes sense, so people may consider those to be my favorite kind of stages.

14.- Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? Let's see, I would consider myself mixed, or versatile. During the day from time to time I would consider myself a builder, especially when I make constructions with references that help me to locate myself (although there are times that I also make them without a base, but it takes me a long time to finish them and I consider myself a noob, Kitta's house, Dope Sketch I look at all of you just now). On the other hand, during the night before going to sleep and after dinner I'm more of a gameplay person and I have a lot of fun playing together with Lea.

15.- Are you a CC creator? Yes, I love to create CAS CC (hair, clothes, shoes, accessories, etc…), construction CC (furniture, clutter, whatever I need depending on the moment), small modifications in the sims, I'm usually very versatile, I do recolors and frankmeshing too although most of the things I love to do are from scratch (with references that aren't mine or concept arts that I draw previously which are usually mine) to learn even more, so I usually take a lot of time but I have a lot of fun. Although around here what I usually share with everyone, are hairs made from scratch, some other skin details, poses and conversions from other games.

16.- Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? Not that I know of. The person I interact with the most around here is Lea but that's because we are family/best friends and spend a lot of time together, so for me it's like day to day. I would love to be able to have a constant energy and mood so I can interact more to make and keep friends around here. I write from time to time with people and would like to consider them friends but since we don't interact much or very constantly, I don't know if they consider me friends or if they would just consider me mutuals. I know of some people that we consider each other friends but we don't talk much either lately because I'm in my stage of writing little with people. But I don't refuse anyone or anyone who wants to interact with me and in the future something might come out of those interactions (friendship or... what's a squad? srsly I don't know it), I'm quite social/asocial and insecure, sometimes I write a lot and sometimes I write very little with people, so I don't know what they currently think of me.

17.- What’s your favorite game? Have a lot, Kingdom Hearts (yes, I went through the time when you needed different consoles to play the whole saga), Final Fantasy series, The Sims series, Life is Strange series, Resident Evil series, Tomb Raider series, Tales of Zestiria, Arc the Lad series, Minecraft, Spyro series, Crash Bandicoot series, Genshin Impact and I'm sure there are many more games that I haven't tried yet that I could add to the list in the future.

18.- Do you have any Sims merch? Nothing.

19.- Do you have a YouTube for sims? I don't have one, but I would love to, although I don't think anyone would be interested. I mean if you share something it's for someone else to see it and if no one would be interested then it would be like exposing yourself to the world but without being seen. I don't know if I make myself clear. I know that stories of your own sims/anything you do in the community have more room for other people when you do it as video, because when you talk they feel more empathetic with your stories/what you explain but my English is not very good and talking in general/talking to my sims is not my forte (that's something Lea is better at)

20.- How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Pictures speak louder than words. I don't have sims screenshots I took in The Sims 2 and The Sims 3 because I can't access the external USB drive were on, so I'll limit myself to The Sims 4 screenshots.

A written summary would be that I currently use more sliders and presets, use 3D eyelashes and natural nails for all my sims and use eye makeup to give more volume to the "eyelashes" and give them more "life". And try to make more different types of noses, faces, eye shapes, etc…. Besides adding natural lips as "make up" (when they don't wear makeup) to make them more "realistic" within my sims realism.

21.- What’s your Origin ID? I don't have anything shared, so I don't know if it's really important to say.

22.- Who’s your favorite CC creator? I have a few and they're the ones I use the most in my gameplays shared with Lea in our sims. They're all amazing so allé voy, @/pralinesims, @/simandy, @/happy-misanthropist (although is currently retired), @/obscurus-sims, @/raccoonium, @/falsogod, @/iowaisms, @/saruin, @/xxxtaiyaki, @/kijiko-sims, @/acha-sims, @/simmireen, @/lea-heartscxiv (yeah is with whom I share my sims game and he makes recolors mainly for me and him) and myself (self-esteem should never be lacking).

23.- How long have you had a simblr? Since last year, end of April 2022.

24.- How do you edit your pictures? So far the only things I use are Photoshop and Clip Studio, but I don't retouch pictures so much, I just "improved" problems with scratches that appear in some parts of sims, eyelashes that are displayed wrong, etc… And then I put one or two tonal change filters in Photoshop, but out of CC I use on sims, it's pretty vanilla the final pictures. If I were to do something else at some point, I would probably put unretouched edit under the cut line to see the differences.

25.- What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? If I had to say one for how the world is shown, CAS, objects and gameplay I would say Snowy Escape.

26.- What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Seriously writing, refreshes. I would like to see refreshes and improvements of base game, an impossible dream, I know. Especially refreshes of Realm of Magic and Get To Work. Since Lea and I were forced to switch to EAAppsh*t we haven't bought anything from them anymore.

I know. It's only 26 questions and I've almost written a book just answering them, sometimes I get too excited writing when I know what I'm talking about 💦 Now time for the tags:

I'm tagging @lea-heartscxiv, @falsogod, @freedomending, @pralinesims, @saruin, @the-daydream-archives and @dizzyrobinsims

If you already done it, please ignore and if you have it handy tag me in the one you already did so I can see it, because maybe I missed it or wasn't connected the day you did it. If you don't feel like doing it, you can just skip it. And to anyone who wants to do so, feel free to tag me. If you share as a favorite death the cowplant one, don't wonder anymore if you should or shouldn't do it, do it, for all the sims who have fallen eaten by cowplants.

#van do games #non sims #but about sims