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girl8890 · 2 years

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JK | Hieros Gamos (I)

BTS ML | Mood Board

Summary: In a world where many different kinds of love are possible, Jungkook, the god of death, finds himself loving someone that should be impossible. One where he runs away and comes back to constantly, all because fate forced him to endure something he’s never wanted.

Paring: God!Thanatos!Jungkook x Goddess!reader

Genre: greek gods!au, soulmate!au, smut, angst, some fluff

Rating: 18+

Warnings: mild flirting, angst, unrequited love (sort of), pining, reader is lonely, everyone keeps secrets from reader, mentions of past war and murder, implied future smut, overprotective family

。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。。・°°・°°・。

The first time Jungkook met you, he was meant to take you. Take you away, and reap your soul. Taking you away from the fates you would one day call mother and aunts. It was his job, after all. To take away souls that have pushed out their last breathe, and be met with his deathless face of skull and bone. It’s how everyone, mortal or god, ends up. In the end, they all meet him.

But for the gods… their families always make a fuss of the matter.

The second your mother and aunts saw his form come out of the shadows, they tried to force him away. It didn’t work, of course, he would take the soul that needed to be taken, but that’s not what stopped him from doing his job. In fact, one look into the infants eyes, and he knew he would never want to take your soul.

Your eyes shouldn’t have even been allowed to open. He was pulled there to reap your supposedly dead soul, at least that’s what he thought you would be when he got the pull from his wings to fly there. It’s very common for babies to die after birth, so he didn’t think much of it. But here you were… alive

Never, in a million eons, did Jungkook think looking into a deathless person’s eyes—a person he was supposed to take down into the underworld—would instead enact him to want to do neither and both all at once. He felt it coarse through his own soul, and all of a sudden he could see everything. Everything pertaining to you.

He could hear every thought and see every vision. Making him feel hot all over when you smile over being happy, but also wanting to burn everything to the ground when you thought about crying over nothing. This ability to have with another person, to have this type of connection, is only supposed to happen if… if two people… enact hieros gamos. Something he’s never done and has definitely not done with a one hour old baby. But one look into those innocent blinking eyes, and the impossible connection was formed. Making Jungkook surrender his own thoughts completely.

While the people around you were screaming at Jungkook to leave, to not take their child’s soul, to not take their very much alive infant away from them, Jungkook was stuck. Stuck staring at your pair of innocent eyes and unable to look away.

Eyes are a gate way to the soul, they say... and your soul was perfect. He couldn’t look away. Like if he did, it would somehow change. It looked like it was reaching out to him. Pulling him in, and giving him this feeling throughout his body that he’s never felt before. At least not to this extent.

Death isn't supposed to give anyone mercy. Death isn't supposed to protect those he doesn’t know.

Death isn’t supposed to love.

But once he realized he’s given you all three, he falls to his knees. Drops to the hard ground and doesn’t even wince when his knees hit hard ruble. Stuck staring at the infant in front of him that’s somehow taken everything from him, but at the same time given him everything.

It took a moment for the three witches, the sisters of all fated knowledge, to realize what just happened. To feel the coursing connection between their infant and death himself. The fates see all, but they some how had a moment of unseeing. Unseeing something that should have never been possible.

The one the reaper will never reap.

The fate passed through all three of the women at once. It was something they knew in their hearts beforehand, but did not realize the extent of the fate casted on their own little one.

Fates have the ability to manipulate and set someone’s lifespan. A lifespan they gave you no end to once they realized one of their wombs began to swell. Wanting to take away the for-told death they’ve given to every begin that’s been born before. But they did not realize what their own catastrophic, set in stone, no reversal, fate actually did.

That’s why, realizing in his own time what this all means, he left. Jungkook flew out of the cave and told himself he would stay away. Stay away from the being that’s already making his wings hurt from flying in the opposite direction. You were just an infant, after all. These feelings will pass. It’s all in his head, he told himself, and it will go away eventually. He’ll forget you even existed soon…

He hoped.

☙❦❧

Years—centuries—eons.

You’ve lived through many time shifts. Many wars you stayed away from, and many fate castings you viewed by your mother and aunts. Each fate hurting the people more than the last. Each one getting more redundant and eerier too. You never said anything on the matter. In fact, no one even knew you were there.

Your family kept you away from all mortals and all gods. Promising you that not a single lord or king knew you were alive. Saying it was for your own safety, but that gave you no hope for your future. You never understood why your family didn’t allow others to see you. And anytime you asked, instead of telling you outright why, the fates just gave you some stupid riddle to solve.

You would think after being alive, and living with these three gods for so long that you would understand what it all meant... yeah, no.

Especially when it came to anything about you.

You asked your mother recently, “Would it be okay if I went outside the cave, today? Just for a moment! I’ll be quick.”

And your mother replied with, “The sun does not shine on those that move too quickly.”

That made your head spin. In the end, you just read her words as a big fat NO. Angering and stressing yourself further about why you were never allowed to leave the cave you lived in all your life. You knew there was a world outside of these pile of rocks. You’ve seen enough mortals, gods, and even minor gods like nymphs come through here for a request to manipulate their fates to know there was a world to begin with.

But you never do step outside the cave walls. You never defied your family, wanting to always be good in hopes they would allow you a day of freedom, but that hope getting less and less each passing day.

Instead, getting frustrated that no one will let you do anything you want—because that’s just the type of child you are—and you go to the one spot in this entire cave you actually enjoy being at.

The tree.

It sprouted inside the ruble in the furthest part of your home when you turned sixteen. It was a quizzing thing, since not a single sprout of fertility lived in this area. The rock and lack of light making everything desalinate. Also the lack of fertility goddess blessings and nymphs being born in this part of the underworld, but what can you do when everyone fears getting on the wrong side of one of the fate sisters?

But still, the wood on this tree never cracked and the leaves were always green. Like somehow it’s always spring shinning down on this very tree.

The day my family and I found it, the one braver then the other cowards in your family, your aunt, the eldest of the three sisters, touched it. One flash of her eyes and she knew. She knew what you didn’t yet...

You were becoming women.

☙❦❧

This tree. The tree that sprouted out of nowhere on your sixteenth birthday, was your safe haven. Your family never went near it, and you can play along with the little voices there in peace.

Yes, voices. Well... voice.

Don’t worry, there’s no crazy manipulation here. There’s much weirder things in this world then hearing a voice almost every time you enter the area of this impossible tree.

The voice has just always been there. You thought it maybe some invisible tree nymph when you first heard it, but then you heard the unmistakable sound of wings flapping and threw that thought into the gutter. Nymphs don’t have wings. No nymphs that have come to see the fates in the past have ever had wings, so there's not way this man was the exception.

That’s right. The voice is a he. An invisible being that visits you, and you visit him. A secret interaction of a friend you cannot see. And you say secret as in: your mother and aunts do not and will not ever find out. They don’t even let you meet the mortals that come into their “mysterious cave,” so telling them you have an invisible friend is a no go.

It also wouldn’t help that you almost felt a pull to this person. Your family are the ones that create and destroy connections like that, so saying you had this mystical pull or connection to someone you can’t see wasn’t that good of an idea. They may say its for your “safety” or some stupid excuse like that and destroy it on the spot.

“Hello, Nae sarang.“ The being says when you enter the area the tree is planted at.

I smile, but I don’t look up from my steps, not wanting to trip on any wide cracks, as I walk closer to the tree. If you ask me to translate the word of endearment he just used, you’ll be disappointed. You’re lucky I know English, okay? Teaching me new languages was never on my families agenda, for—of course—reasons unknown, and I was to embarrassed to ask my friend what it meant, either. Instead opting to just run with hearing the same beautiful nickname from my invisible friend.

I make it to the tree, almost tripping over a piece of rubble but catching myself. I then press my palm against the earth wood, and glance around the empty cavern, wondering where my invisible friend might be.

“Hello… ghostie?”

I hear a chuckle from above me, and hope I’m looking in the right direction he’s in. I believe he’s on the thick tree branch above me, but I’m not quite sure. I can never tell until he speaks. Speaks with a voice that tends to fill my dreams most days. Days that always have you running to this tree in the morning, wanting to hear the angelic tones of his voice speak to you.

I go to reach out to him and pause mid hand lift. Another thing I should mention—maybe two things actually—I can’t touch him, and I can’t know his name. Two things I desperately asked for when I first met him. But after years of only having this invisible force as my friend, the only person I can truly talk about everything and anything with, I stopped pestering and overall stopped caring... well, at least on the outside. He was here, and I wasn’t alone. So it rendered to be enough.

And it was enough.... until today.

“Ghostie,” Your friend chuckled out. “You’re getting real original with your greetings now.”

You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly, and spin in your spot to lean your back against the tree, still looking up at where you think he is. Sliding down the bark until your dress flowed out in front of you and your butt hit the rock below you.

“I don’t know. I bet my nicknames are even better than your real name,” You say jokingly. Knowing he’ll get your humor on the matter.

You imagine the person you came up with in your head rolling his eyes. Brown eyes turning half way through to green (because you could never make up your mind on the best color) shifting in his spot as he scoffs at you.

“Oh, please…”

You giggle at his fanned annoyance.

“My name would sound so pretty on your lips.”

Your smile falls, and you look away.

You both hated and loved him flirting with you in that moment. He always flirted with you, although it always sounded strained. Like he didn’t mean it or shouldn’t mean it, and the deepening in his voice was something beastly coming from him. Truthfully, you loved that voice. It made you blush more then once. But right now, what he just said, made you hate it as much as you loved it. You still blushed like a virgin—which you very much were—but instead of shying away, you look up at the branch you believe he’s on again.

Maybe if he said those exact words any other day it wouldn’t have bothered you, but the fact he teased you with unknown knowledge just reminded you of your family. You went to this tree to get away from them, not to be reminded of everything you don’t have.

What you don’t have: knowledge of everything outside these cave walls.

“There’s an easy way to change that,” You say quietly.

“You could tell me your name,” You say louder.

“And you’ll know for certain if you like it,” You say, and there’s a hint of bold flirtation in your tone of voice. Trying to drive it home that you really want to know something other then what you do on your day-to-day. Just one piece of new information, anything, would fill your heart with joy.

You hear a groan, and your not sure what to make of it. Not sure if your words made him angry or annoyed because you can’t fucking see him!

“You know I can’t do that, Y/n.”

“Why!” You say as you jump up. Feeling weird about your sudden frustration, but you know it’s properly placed.

You hear a quiet gasp, but it’s quickly recovered by your invisible friend. You hear some flapping of wings, then after a moment you hear feet hit the ground in front of you. Making you back up from the tree to give what you presume is enough space between the two of you.

“Stop, Y/n. You know I can’t do that.”

That just serves to piss you off more.

“No! I’m done with the mystery. I’m done with the not knowing. I get enough secrets kept from me from my family! The least you can do is not keep any from me!”

You know you’re being a little unfair, but you’re just done with it all. Why can’t someone, anyone, feel for you enough respect to let you live. Let you know the answers to unknown secrets, and trust you enough to make the right decisions with them.

There's a moment of silence after your words are done echoing in the cave. Too long of a moment. You think your friend may have left without you knowing. This makes a ping of hurt form in your heart, but before you turn to walk away, to feel further guilt about the shouting and distance you just caused with your one and only friend, he speaks...

“I’m sorry.”

That's all he says with sadness laced throughout every syllable, but you ignore that sadness. Two words that bring you no new information, and makes your anger fill all over again. Making the guilt wash away and tell him, “No your not.”

You said it the same way someone would say ‘your welcome,’ because no one ever really is. No one is ever actually sorry about keeping you in the dark.

So you walk away. Not wanting to hear anymore excuses today.

You hear him call after you as you speed walk further and further away from the tree. You even think you may have heard some footsteps behind you as you walk away, but you push that thought away. No one ever runs after you. No one ever gives you enough of a care to do something like that for you.

You walk away, entering the area where your family is, and dread how much more lonely your life has become because of this.

☙❦❧

Jungkook curses the fates as he watches you walk away from him. He even at one point started following you, but once you crossed the threshold he’s not allowed to cross in the cave, he was forced to stop.

He wanted to tell you everything, but he couldn't. He wanted to chase after you and hold you in his arms for the first time. To finally find out what you feel like in his embrace, but he could do none of that. Always longing for something he can’t have, and may never get the chance to have.

This all started years ago, on your sixteenth birthday.

He tried to stay away. He tried to drop the feelings that have consumed him since the day he laid eyes on you for the first time, but they didn’t even slightly falter. Instead growing with each passing day he was away from you.

The day you turned sixteen, he felt the pull from you strengthen immensely. Like it did the day you were born. At first he thought you somehow died. He flew to the cave thinking you were dead, and that he was going to morn a love never given or let out to grow, but he was wrong.

You were not dead. No.

You were maturing.

On that day, when the tree of connection from one world to the next sprouted for you, you hit puberty. A carnation tree out of all things too. Connecting your world in the gate cave and his own.

The tree sprouted at a part of the cave that shouldn’t have been possible, and you didn't know what it meant. Still don’t. At least not completely. You knew it was for you, just not to it’s complete extent. Jungkook and his sisters knew though, and that meant it was time for a meeting.

“You can’t-” “Have her-” “Be gone!”

All three of the fate sisters said to him that day. It was always so annoying when the three of them were together. Speaking in parts and knowing through their connection what all three of them wanted to say.

But Jungkook wasn’t just going to leave this time. He made that mistake when you were born, and once again, one glance your way had his bones vibrating and blood flowing to this new feeling. The feeling once new and unknown was clear as fucking day once he saw you again.

You were beautiful. Like artwork crafted by the gods themselves. Hell, if he was stupid enough he would even say more beautiful than Aphrodite, but he would like to keep you very much alive and healthy, so he refrained from saying those words out loud to even just himself.

SO... that day... he fought like hell for you.

“She's meant to be mine,” He said.

“We all knew what happened with the two of us the day she was born,” He said.

“I’m not making the mistake of leaving this time,” He stood his ground. “Unless you want another war to not be in your favor, that is,” And the sisters knew he meant every word.

Somehow inside that conversation with the fate sisters, the four of them made a deal. That Jungkook could only have Y/n fully if she fell in love with him first. That he could only stay with her by the tree, and if she wished to see him.

This angered Jungkook at first. Since he was already madly in love with you, but he eventually realized after enough arguing that you didn’t even know he existed or the connection you two shared, so it was a good deal. He wasn’t trying to steal you away and force you into a life that would make you unhappy. He saw first hand what that did with Persephone in the beginning, so he was okay with this part of the deal.

The next rule created by the fates was that he cannot touch you. Them worrying death would “ruin her innocents” if he touched her, although they played it off as not wanting to complete hieros gamos before you even knew what it meant. Maybe they even worried he would give you the kiss of death once you pissed him off for the first time, or making you infertile before you even turned seventeen. The fates mistaking him for every other god that took virginities like they were candy from babes.

Although Jungkook has had many conquests in his lifetimes, virgins have never been his thing. Lying with death renders a women infertile, so taking a virgins “purity” or whatever wasn’t the best thing to do in the long run. For you, however, he would wait to make you the exception one day. An exception he would have to explain every detail about this part of him, and just hope you don’t resist it to the point you would want to leave.

That rule was easily accepted... although later after exchanging words with you for the first time, he found himself annoyed about it.

The next rule of the deal, was something Jungkook came up with himself. In his own head, and he could tell the fates were hoping the opposite of this rule. Everyone knew the rumors about the god of death, and no doubt did the sisters especially tell their daughter about said rumors. Wanting to make her hate him before they even met in person.

The rumors of how the god of death killed every man in his sights on the battle field, and left not a single survivor in his wake. How he only joined the war to slaughter anyone he could get his hands on, and watch his sword cut through bone and blood. This is why even the gods were afraid of him, not to mention that he had the ability to easily kill others with one touch of his hand. It also doesn’t help that he holds the killing tool the all mighty Cronus owned before him everyday.

The rumors themselves... are actually slightly true. But they all miss the big reason as to why he did those things. Why him and the house of Nyx even joined the battle in the first place. Because Cronus took from the house of Nyx the same things he took from all the other gods. Killing all the people he once cared about without a care, and leaving Jungkook with nothing.

So yes, Jungkook killed many. Becoming the main reaper of souls because of it. But he did none of it for fun.

These rumors are also why he hasn’t told you who he is. If you didn’t notice by his angelic easily turned deathly looks who he was, his name would definitely give himself away. The god of death’s name is almost as scary to say as Hades, but even the unbound one has rumors about him that aren’t completely true and missing context.

But even Hades himself, the man Jungkook swore his life to, doesn’t know about the beautifully pure goddess that captured Jungkook’s heart.

And now Jungkook stands here, invisible to your eyes and unnamed, afraid that his own fears of you believing the false will pull you farther away from loving him back. That him being afraid of telling you any real information about himself, would chase you away.

Farther away from ever accepting death as the man you’re meant to be with.

The one person that would make sure with all his capability that you wouldn't ever have to experience... him.

The one the reaper will never reap.

Part 2

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Nae sarang - “My Love” in Korean.

Hieros Gamos - (Greek: “sacred marriage”), sexual relations of fertility deities in myths and rituals, characteristic of societies based on cereal agriculture, especially in the Middle East.

The Tree - Trees have bridged the gap between heaven and Earth, connected different worlds to each other and were the root of wisdom and took on appearance of supernatural beings, such as nymphs, naiads and dryads.

Carnation - Flower that represents death.