Professor Riddle
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this is so fucking on brand LMAO (x)
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More Ministry worker Hermione Granger character studies 💼🪄
Draco version
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fem harry/voldemort fic where harry’s a part-time babysitter and voldemort is minister riddle and an old widower (his past wife was bellatrix)
so one summer, harry’s suddenly called to babysit the minister’s daughter, delphini. little does she know, delphini is a huuuge troublemaker and an absolute demon child (black genes… and well—) but harry ends up being the only person she’s nice to. harry doesn’t know this yet.
when voldemort comes home, he’s surprised that delphini’s actually asleep and that the house is quiet for once. no screaming, no weeping, no bargaining and no bloodshed.
when he comments this to harry, she's like 'oh, but delphi's such an angel, the way you're so shocked, it seems like people have died trying to babysit her.'
when voldemort doesn't reply and just stares at her, shes like 'it was a joke. im joking. it's just a joke, right?.... RIGHT?' *cough* peter pettigrew *cough*
so when harry moves to leave, voldemort offers her extra money so that she could continue working for him.
puzzled, harry agrees. the months go by, and nothing goes awry. the peace lasts until voldemort has to go to another country for business for several months and he has to take delphini with him. that's when delphi throws a massive fit. as in, a Massive fit about leaving harry. there's blood and everything.
and so oh, no... harry has to go along too. how sad
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order of the phoenix:
harry: if i had created a wizarding world with this many problems, i’d kill myself.
fudge: do you have a question, harry?
harry: yeah, i do actually. number one, how dare you?
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MC: You've gotta admit, a guy stopping kids in the middle of the forbidden forest? That's pretty creepy!
Minister of Magic: Yes, right. But we don't arrest people for being creepy.
Auror 1, to his colleague: Yeah, you know that guy we got in the tank?
Auror 2: Uh... the creepy one?
Auror 1: Yeah, better let him go.
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A Snater: Snape gagged Sirius in PoA! He’s high-key cruel
Me, thinking about the fact that Snape canonically gagged Sirius:
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Professor Palladium gives me so much Hyacinth vibes 🤩🪻🫶
I love how cute he was in Season 1, I am definitely not a fan of the dramatic change in his appearance they made throughout the other seasons. I think he just lost his charm.
They even have a similar haircut 🤭 If Cinthy's hair were long, he would look like his winged twin ✨
I love the annoyed Queen Clarion's gaze in this one 🤣🤣🤣
°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°
So let me know down below in the comments who do you find more appealing - Hyacinth or Palladium? 😊 For me, it is still Cinthy but I like them both. 🩷
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What do you think as Hermione's career would be post battle of Hogwarts? To me her being minister for magic really doesn't make sense. She does not have patience or tact to wade through murky waters of politics 😭😭
So hard to say! The Trio are so, so young when we leave them, I find it almost impossible to project their futures farther than a few years out. The job that suited me at 17 would be radically unsuited to me now. That's why of all the Trio, Ron's ending strikes me as the most realistic — he jumps straight into the save-the-world business again, burns out, realizes he's actually Done The Fuck Enough, Thanks, and pivots into a low-stress career where he gets to see his family a lot. Feels accurate! The others are weirder to me because they do seem to just... pick a lane and stay there.
With Hermione, you could spin her a couple ways. You could say that she leans into her bookish side and does research or teaching, which is not my preference for a couple reasons (namely, I don't think Hermione would like academia as a profession; she finds her classwork interesting and enjoys intellectual validation, but she'd be stifled and wasted in a DPhil program, and she'd be infuriated by the administrative politicking of your average higher-ed faculty). You could say that she gets disaffected with politics and ends up as a barrister or a lobbyist of some kind, but if anything that requires more political finesse, because you don't actually have institutional power, you're just handling the people who make decisions and trying to persuade them of your goals. This is not Hermione's preferred method of influence. She's not even particularly good at persuasion, she just happens to be smart enough (and right often enough) that people take her ideas seriously.
Or you could say her brashness fades with the years into a softened flavor of tell-you-like-it-is honesty, which some politicians actually do successfully trade on; as we see in British politics today, you don't have to be all that charming or clever to get ahead, you just need to be really driven and well-connected (which Hermione completely is; she fought shoulder-to-shoulder with the first postwar Minister and her bestie, the Literal Messiah, runs the Auror Office.) But I don't know if Hermione especially wants to be Minister, after the war. She's just watched years of horrendous bureaucratic incompetence plunge the country into a violent civil conflict. She's had not one, but two Ministers of Magic try to bully or shame her friends into complicity with fascism. Her view of government is... likely extremely dark.
But Hermione also isn't the kind of person who sees her life as a quest for happiness. Babygirl has a savior complex that makes Harry look selfish. (She basically kills her parents — yeah, obliviating is a form of murder, #changemymind — "for their own good," and justifies every batshit, vindictive, mean-spirited move she ever pulls on the grounds that it "helps" one of her friends.) She is a mean, lean, dragon-slaying machine, and she needs a dragon. After Voldemort, the Ministry is the no. 1 threat to muggle-borns and non-wizarding Beings. As a war heroine with basically infinite political capital, I'd be surprised if she didn't try to do something there. That said, Hermione is so vivacious and dynamic that she could potentially grow in a hundred different directions; it's possible that all of this, while true of her at 18, becomes completely inaccurate by 22. That's why I'm not too fussed about any particular fanon interpretation.
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*Muggle studies professor gives inaccurate info in class*
Scorpius Malfoy-Granger: scoffs "My mother will hear about this."
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Pros and Cons - ChaosAndCrumpets - E, 13 chapters - In attempting to define a precise plan of action in response to the particular piece of unexpected news she had recently (six months still qualified as recent, in relative terms, didn’t it?) received, Hermione did the only thing she knew would calm the tornado which was currently whirling about her stomach. She made a list. Pro: Any traits a person could hope for in the father of one’s offspring are admittedly present in the man who has assisted in creating this one. Con: However many admirable traits he may possess, the aforementioned co-creator is still, to his detriment, Draco Malfoy
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i literally love your mockumentary fic so much!! i've read it again and again, and it's written so well, i can SEE the scenes play out real time-- they're appearing in front of me; they're in the room with me. god i love mockumentaries. my favourite part about yours is the humor + character dynamics
looking forward to what comes next! :D
oh my 🥹 thank you for taking the time to send this ask - you've made my whole week! your kind words have fueled a new life in me 😤 i'm naturally a slow writer, but i'll do whatever i can to make sure the next chapter comes out soon 🫡 for you my anon friend
in the meanwhile 👀 a gift
It’s when they enter the Obliviator Headquarters to start their interview of the staff (aiming to make Ms Granger proud) that they find Head Auror Harry Potter speaking with someone.
The camera zooms in on Harry’s angry face, alight with a severe frown. Most of his body is blocked by the other person, his head just visible over their shoulder—nevertheless, their tall figure and well-cut robes form an attractive silhouette. ‘There is something oddly familiar about them,’ whispers one of the crew, but they can’t put their finger on it.
When Harry’s mouth opens, and no sound comes out, the crew realises they are under a heavy muffliato. The buzzing is a low hum, and the wand-audio operator frowns at the amplified noise coming through their headgear.
“How has the filming been?”
The crew jumps and turns to see Percy sitting, legs crossed at the knee, in a chair just beside the entryway. “Avoiding the Aurors, I hope?”
Percy, as always, is glancing over documents and keeping a keen eye on the shimmery graph. The crew sort of shrugs. They can’t begin to explain the last few hours even if they want to.
“Hm, I’ll take that as a yes… Only to evade hearing otherwise. And don’t mind Head Auror Potter; he’ll be done any minute now if you wish to speak with him. But if you’re here for—"
“Go to hell, Riddle,” Harry’s voice rings out with the sudden break of the muffliato. And then the answer hits them all smack across the head. Shock has the camera operators’ hold drooping, slightly cutting them from frame.
Harry prowls out of the Obliviator Headquarters, and the once-unknown person turns to watch him leave, revealing a strikingly recognisable and handsome face.
It’s the Minister for Magic, Tom Riddle.
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Minister for Magic, Hermione Granger
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Prime Minister's Cabinet Room
Artist: Anthony Devine
TCG Player Link
Scryfall Link
EDHREC Link
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Divorced-dads-to-lovers Prongsfoot AU where Sirius and James meet again at Harry’s wedding years after their divorce and get back together WHEN
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