#miss semicolon what does this mean

[kidrauhlschik]

SKZ Rejecting You as Their Soulmate

SKZ Masterlist

Warnings: implied sh, insecurities, angst, lmk if I should add more!

~

Bang Chan

He was always too rational for that kind of thing.

“How can the world decide who I can or can’t love?” Is a question he would always ask himself. He kept seeing their friends turn 21 and find “the one”, which he always thought it was bullshit.

How can the world carry that much weight and magic? He wasn’t buying it.

It wasn’t until his 21st birthday, that a tattoo presented itself on his arm.

It started off small. It was a music note that he didn’t mind the presence of. He rolled his eyes when he woke up with the mark but didn’t think much of it.

“At least it’s not a rose or a compass.” He mumbled to himself as he went on with his life.

It wasn’t until the tattoos kept on coming, that he started getting annoyed.

The next tattoo was a bat on his sternum.

“Why a bat? That’s so stupid.” He told Lee Know as his friend cuddled up with his partner. Both with many tattoos, all which mirrored each other.

The next one was a dog portrait. He wondered if it was a portrait of your own dog.

He thought of you as selfish. What if he wanted to get tattoos? At this pace, you would cover his skin and your own within the next ten years. He decided that he didn’t like his soulmate at all.

The next tattoo was a semicolon.

He frowned at that. A strange ache in his chest bothered him. Why did he feel that way?

The tattoo after that made him sick to his stomach.

He woke up one day to a Medusa tattoo on his thigh.

He couldn’t fully comprehend his emotions, but at this point the tattoos you were getting told him about who you were as a person.

You like animals, music, and you’ve suffered in way he wished he didn’t know about.

That’s when he decided to get his first tattoo.

He decided to get one on his spine. He wanted to make sure to get one there before you did.

He pondered for a long time as to what he wanted to get, before coming to a decision.

A detailed Japanese dragon tattoo decorated your back on one Sunday afternoon. It was well made. The tattoo made you feel connected to your soulmate. He finally got a tattoo in return! It the first time you felt connected to someone you had never met.

One day, in the Sydnee beach, you had been with your friends.

You were laying on your stomach and coincidentally the perfect stranger walked by at the perfect time.

The colors on your back were hard to miss.

It was harder to ignore that the tattoo running down your spine mirrored his own.

He stopped in his tracks and stared at you, which cause your friends to freak out a little.

When you turned to face the stranger, your eyes immediately went to the Medusa tattoo on his thigh, then you saw the semicolon on his wrist, and then the bat on his sternum.

The two of you stared at each other for what felt like forever, before you broke the silence first.

“So, what does the dragon mean to you?”

Lee Know

He never believed in love.

If his own parents couldn’t love him, how can he expect a stranger to give their heart to him?

It all seemed like bullshit to him when his teachers explained that one day he would hear your voice in his head.

“I don’t know but it sounds like schizophrenia to me.” Is why he would tell his friends.

Even after his friends met their significant others, he would not buy a word they would say to him.

Even when your voiced popped up inside his head for the first time, he simply told himself that he was being delusional.

You always had the dumbest thoughts.

“Wait what did I have to do today?”

“Fuck. Did I clean the cat litter?”

“Wait. Did I eat today?”

How could someone be so absent minded?

Your thoughts stressed him out. How can his “soulmate” be so different than him?

He knew that you were absent minded. However, eventually you got more cohesive.

“Why doesn’t he share his thoughts with me?”

“Is my soulmate dead?”

“If you’re out there, please respond.” He never responded.

He couldn’t help but to feel guilty, but he was doing you a favor. Right?

He finally regretted his decision three years later on a Saturday afternoon.

“I do.” Is all that went through your brain as he sat alone in the couch.

“If you’re out there. I wish I could have met you. Maybe we could have been something. This is the last thought I will ever ever share with you. So stranger… have a good life.”

Finally, he decided to share a piece of himself.

“Goodbye.”

Your soulmate rejected you.

The two of you never met.

Changbin

He was in love with someone else. Despite everyone warning him to avoid “love” until his 21st birthday, he fell in love with his Highschool sweetheart. He couldn’t imagine loving anyone more than he loved her.

So when all of the sudden, his gray world burst with color when he met the cashier at the new coffee shop shop in town, he would have preferred to go blind.

He loved someone else, and he hoped his life would remain the way that it already was.

He avoided your coffee shop as much as he could. However, the universe kept on forcing your paths to cross. Every time he made eye contact with you, the colors around him ran brighter.

Whenever he was able to avoid you enough, he began to miss you. The colors that were absent in his life became a drug to him.

It made him feel guilty.

As he would tell his girlfriend about his never ending love, all he could picture is your rosy cheeks. He would always think about the way your hair shined under the sun. His brain would always go back to you.

Luckily for him. You never looked for him either.

It wasn’t until his wedding day. He saw the day in black and white. He was used to the lack of color. Until the ending of his first dance with his wife, he looked up to the flashing camera. Between the flashes, he made eye contact with the photographer and for one last time, color brightened up his world.

The both of you gave each other a bittersweet smile. A silent good bye was exchanged, and that was the last time the two of you saw any color in your lives.

Hyunjin

When he finally met his soulmate, he didn’t feel a spark. He had always been a hopeless romantic. He expected to have his world spin around the second he met with his other half, so when he didn’t feel anything when his eyes met yours, everything seemed like a rouse.

He always admired the red string tied to his pinky. His paintings were inspired by the ever lasting love he would always hope for.

One day, the string tightened. He was at the club, and immediately sobered up.

You were there.

He was finally going to meet you.

So when he found the person at the other end of his string, he felt underwhelmed.

Was this it?

Was this the love of his life?

He expected more.

You were excited nevertheless, so he felt guilty when he would reject your approaches.

One day, you knocked on his door. He knew it was you on the other side, yet, he didn’t want to open the door. Until he heard your cries.

“Hyunjin. I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be. You may not feel much for me, but I love you. So if it would make you happier for me to disappear… I just want to make you happy.” With no thoughts in mind, he threw the doors open and pulled your body against his.

He felt your pain. Even thought he didn’t feel a spark, he felt your pain. The pain was raw. It was as if someone had clawed his way to his heart.

He was going to make it work.

He would love you in the same way that you loved him.

Even if he couldn’t feel the love, he knew that the pain was real. He would try his best to learn how to be your soulmate.

Han

He was scared that you would hurt him, the same way he was scared that he would hurt you.

He could hear the music you played on your 21st birthday. You were listening to “How to Save a Life” by The Fray. Which made him assume that you weren’t partying.

That’s what most of your playlists consisted of. Sad songs. Were you trying to send a message?

That made him even more scared.

The both of you were broken souls. How is he supposed to fix someone when he is shattered to pieces himself?

He knew you could hear his music. The both of you were always on the depressing music vibe. To him, it seemed that a tornado and a hurricane were waiting to meet each other. He was terrified.

He was in the train one day and someone was playing music out loud. That kind of thing always annoyed him, but today, he could hear an echo over the speaker.

You were in the train as well.

You could tell that he was there too.

The second the both of you made eye contact, the breath got knocked out of your lungs.

Maybe the both of you could be a sad song together.

Maybe the pain the both of you shared could be made into something more.

Felix

You were his best friend. Since the two of you were five, you both shared your hopes and dreams of meeting your soulmates one day. You guys wanted to have cookouts, or game nights, and you both dreamed of making a big friend group.

You wanted your kids to be friends.

Neither of you ever expected to wake up one day and have the same scars.

It felt violating at first.

He knew of the big scar on your leg from when you jumped out of the trampoline. Now he had the same scar.

You knew of the scar on his hand from climbing a tree when you two were twelve. Now you had the same one.

Then he saw the new scars on his thighs. His legs were littered with fresh scars. You felt shame, and he felt guilt. How did he never realize that his friend was suffering?

You did everything you could to avoid him.

The both of you knew that you were soulmates, but that was a boundary that neither of you ever wanted to cross.

He would call you everyday, and every time, his calls would go to voice mail.

Felix was never supposed to know that side of you.

So when the chance to leave for college came around, you enrolled to the one furthest away.

He hated himself for never seeing your suffering.

You hated yourself for always keeping him in the dark.

You told yourself that you caused enough distrust for a life time. So you decided that a lifetime of punishment is what you deserved.

He didn’t reject you but you rejected your soulmate. Deciding that the damage you had done was enough.

Seungmin

His first soulmate passed away and he didn’t want to replace her.

He only had one love. She was everything to him.

So when her name disappeared off of his wrist and yours replace it, he wanted to die.

How can the world be so cruel? His girlfriend took his heart when she passed. Why is the universe trying to force him to be with someone else?

When he saw your name, he only felt resentment.

There were do many people in the world. Why him?

You weren’t his soulmate. You’re a place holder, and you could never replace the true love of his life.

He would prefer to die alone over looking for you.

Unfortunately, if you reject your soulmate, they would pass away.

But at this point, he doesn’t care.

Why should you get to live, while the love of his life got taken away from him? Call him selfish, but he no longer has any care for anyone.

When your name slowly faded from his wrist, he felt a bit guilty. Yet, he couldn’t help but to see your name and feel anger. He hates you at no fault of your own.

He hates you because the world wanted to erase the love of his life from the universe and he simply refused to let that happen.

He preferred to let you pass away over loving anyone more than he loved his first love.

I.N.

You weren’t who he wanted you to be.

Since he knew what soulmates were, he always had a vision of who he wanted you to be.

So when he felt his hand freeze over when you touched him for the first time, he knew he had found his soulmate.

Much to his dismay.

He felt Minnesota weather as he sat in California.

He begged the universe to be lying to him. He couldn’t believe that you were his soulmate.

You weren’t the person he imagined. Nor were you the person he wanted.

You could sense his disdain as well.

As you would seek his warmth, he would avoid you like no other.

“Jeongin. We could die!” You tried to argue some sense into him as he ran from who was meant to be the love of his life.

You had no choice but the accept his choice.

The two of you had to live your life in eternal cold. Neither of you ever knowing the warmth of your soulmate.

#stray kids #stray kids imagine #kpop imagine #stray kids x reader #bang Chan #lee know #changbin #seungmin #Hyunjin #Felix #Yongbok #Han Jisung #Jeongin #angst #fluff #fanfic #y/n #reaction #ot8

[ijustwannaasksomething]

Hey, so are you taking a break from writing? Is everything ok or are just not feeling like writing for now? I miss your Soft Sounds but I'll understand if you don't have any plans to continue it

They there.

I am so happy you inboxed me. It means a lot to me when people reach out to me past the comment section of my fics and I really feel like we have connected!

As promised, a small update.

So, 2022 has been... a lot. (This is a life update, not a cry for sympathy, help or anything. I speak from my heart and I ask you not to worry about me or have pity. This is life the way it is meant to be; with highs and lows.)

I dare say it has been the worst year of my life. *inserte the worst year of your life so far meme*.

It had a good start, but then I had an accident and couldn't really walk for a while, in spring I'll need a second surgery and I hope I'll be free of the lasting pain after that.

Recovery took a lot of me, I am also thinking about my carreer and how I want to further my education or explore new paths. I have untangled family relationships and struggled in social constellations which almost took the love of my hobby cosplay from me.

So, there has been a lot on my plate.

I started therapy, I ended theray and well... the biggest reason I didn't continue Soft Sounds is that my relationship of seven years almost ended and is still uncertain. I say this without blame, but depression is a bitch. It's too hard for me to write about a blossoming love which can brave the odds, when the person I want to face life's challenges with is warped by an invisible illness that has such deep lows that feel like I am losing myself in the darkness as well.

Depression is cruel, it twists and tears and rearranges the person you love and sometimes I feel like I'm standing in front of a shell instead of my beloved.

This is one of the reasons I do lack the muse to write at all at the moment. I like writing love, romances, I like to believe I write real stories with ups and downs and character development but it feels so fake sometimes, because I know no matter how hard I want to hold on to this, I cannot control it. I am a sucker for a happy ending, as Martha Dunnstock has put it so eloquently. And I am wondering about my own.

While that all sounds dire, I am currently in a very good place.

As I said, I started and ended therapy and it's been a good experience. I learned a lot about myself and most importantly: I learned about letting go. I learned about giving up control, about accepting the things I cannot change. It has taken a lot of anxiety from me and for the first time in my life I have learned to look after and take care of myself. To put put the focus on me because I am the variable I can change.

In my last session I said: I don't know what the future may hold, but I'm not afraid. Those are words I'd like to give to you for this new year.

Do not be afraid.

Because with acceptance comes calm. For the first time I have felt calm, even empty because the storm of anxiety, responsability and the need to be in control and the one to blame were gone.

I do not know where life will lead me, but I am looking forward to this year. There are many things I want to do, many roads I want to explore. I want to listen to what my body tells me (because that's something I haven't done at all and it's so refreshing) and take what life has to offer.

Where does that leave me as an author?

You might have noticed my usage of semicolons in Soft Sounds, I think I used them so often it's become my thing for this story. So, so; I will continue. I want to finish Soft Sounds because it means so much to me, as soon as I have the capactiy to do so. I want to write not only this fanfic but many more, with happy endings.

Because that's what makes me happy.

So I do wish you, sterzin, and all the other readers a wonderful 2023. I wish you a year of bravery, of joy, of new roads ahead of you. Trust me, you don't have to be afraid. Life is tough and mean and sometimes it feels like you just cannot go one more step, but I promise you, it does. Every day is a small step and you don't realise how far you've come.

I love you and thank you for your support.

Love;

I just wanna ask something

[dayofkaryn]

Yoonmin 11

"That's wrong," says Yoongi.

Jimin doesn't turn around. "Shut up."

"You misspelled the file name."

"Shut up!" says Jimin. "Don't you have your own work to do?"

"Sure," says Yoongi.

"So go do it."

"I'm taking a break."

Jimin growls. "Then take it somewhere else."

"I'm helping," says Yoongi. "You missed a semicolon."

"You are the worst person I know," says Jimin.

"But the best developer," says Yoongi.

He sounds smug. He always sounds so smug! If he wasn't so… so… whatever he is, Jimin would have decked him by now. But he did miss that semicolon, so he scrolls back up and fixes it as reproachfully as he can.

"Good work," says Yoongi, and Jimin pictures himself wadding Yoongi into a little ball and stuffing him in his pocket. It helps.

"Look at this collaboration," says a looming presence over the cubicle wall, startling Jimin out of his reverie. "It brings a tear to my eye."

Seokjin, unlike Jimin, isn't rumpled and harried with their looming deadline. He never is. Neither is Yoongi, come to think of it. They both stay handsome and put together no matter what's going on around them.

"We have an opportunity, my lovelies," says Jin. "At least one of you does. A contract with one of the biggest companies in the world, looking for our best developer to add new features to their platform. And when I hear ‘best developer’, I know exactly where to go."

He tosses two identical folders on Jimin's desk. "Specs! Look it over. We need a proposed solution by the end of the week, and a wireframe end of next. Good luck to you both!"

Seokjin vanishes before Jimin can even think to respond, and when Yoongi reaches past to take his copy Jimin whirls around.

"I want to win," he says.

"So do I," says Yoongi. "Sounds like a good revenue stream."

"No!" says Jimin. "I mean I need to win."

"Okay," says Yoongi. "I don't see what that has to do with me."

"It always has to do with you!" says Jimin. "You mess with me! Don't mess with me. I worked my ass off all year to get on Seokjin's radar, and he finally came over to give me the big project, and just because you were sitting here too doesn't mean this was for you. Okay? It's for me! He didn't even know you were here."

"There were two folders," says Yoongi, but Jimin dismisses that with a flick of his hand.

"And I'll fucking - I won't even sleep, this week. I'll come up with the best interface the world has ever seen, just me! Because this job is my life, right? It's the only thing that matters, doing this well, and you might not care about all of that but I do! Hard work beats talent, or it should, and just because you're some kind of genius doesn't mean you can have whatever you want. You can't!"

Yoongi stares up at him, mouth slightly parted. He doesn't look cowed, though he should, but at least he doesn't look smug anymore either. He seems like he wants to say something, but he stays silent, and Jimin huffs.

"I'm going to finish up what I'm doing, and then I'm going to get started on my project. You should leave that other folder here, it might be different and I need to have all -"

"Do you want to grab dinner with me?" says Yoongi suddenly.

Jimin, derailed, blinks at him. "What?"

"Dinner," says Yoongi. "Tonight. It's going to be a late one if we want to get some code laid for the proposal."

"We?" says Jimin.

"Yeah," says Yoongi. "If we work together I bet we can knock it out of the park."

"But… we're supposed to compete."

"Says who?" says Yoongi. He's not smiling, but amusement lights his eyes from within. "Jin? I didn't hear that. He said he wanted the best. I think that's us. The both of us, I mean."

"But you said it was you," says Jimin, still not sure if this is a trick. 

Yoongi shrugs, one shouldered and quick, then scratches his knee. "Well, I was trying flirt with you, wasn't I?"

Jimin snorts. "Were you? I think you've got some improvement to do on that front."

"So teach me," says Yoongi. "And I'll fix your semicolons."

He grins then, finally, and Jimin smacks him in the arm. But when he leans over to grab his jacket, he's grinning too, and he mentally uncrumples the Yoongi in his pocket and sets him free. And really, he's pretty cute, and he definitely knows how to code.

Yeah, Jimin thinks to himself as he gets settled. Yoongi's waiting in the aisle, patient and steady, but his fingers tap eagerly on the wall. I think it's worth a shot.

#bts drabbles #spotify meme #writing

[hecateisalesbian]

UNO REVERSE. GIMME ALL 50 OF 'EM.

For the wild card... what was your least favorite question out of all of these to answer?

 Do you have freckles?  i think? Yeah? Only like a few tho

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?  hohoooo your gonna regret asking me this question >:3 For Tea I have a very specific tea brand I always buy and it’s the Arizona Green Tea Diet and then yknow occasional Peace Tea and on some occasions tea leaves. For Coffee when it’s at Starbucks I get one Grande size Vanilla Iced (Gay) Latte with 2 Splendas and almond milk! At home though I just brew up some coffee and put creamer and vanilla unsweetened almond milk with a 1:3 ratioish and a spoonful of Splenda.

What was the last song you listened to?  The entire Nimona album lol

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?  Back or Side because I rotate but never directly on the stomach

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?  Yes. The amount changes tho. But rn I have a stuffed animal called Rat Cat and then my dog 🐶

Do you prefer drawing or writing?  they equally suck

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?  i always always always have to sleep with a very specific blanket for my anxiety and that’s really all I need

What’s your favorite band/artist?  errrrr Lovejoy or Lemon Demon or Mother Mother?

When is your birthday? Not sharing that but my fake one is March 7th

How tall are you? Like 5’2”

What color are your eyes? Very dark brown (boring Ik)

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? My Irl friends and my sister

Fears? Bugs, Spiders, T h e D a r k

What’s your favorite color? Purple obvs 💜

What’s your favorite season? Fall, because depending on where you are it’s so wonderful and the weather is perfect and everything is so pretty and also it’s SPOOKY SEASON 🎃

Want any tattoos? What of? Many. Idk how many but my basics are a sibling tattoo with my sister, a matching tattoo with my mom that I’ve already designed, a star, sun, and moon tattoo with my sister and my mom, a snake or two somewhere, some flowers maybe, a semicolon, etc

Want any piercings? Where? YES. Lots of places! I want to deck out my ears, probably get some nose piercings, lip piercings, eyebrow piercings, and then idk from there

Who is the last person you texted? My friend

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? I used to but not anymore

What/who do you miss? My sister

How was your day today? Well I woke up like 2 minutes ago

How much sleep did you get last night? Idk man I just pass out whenever

Do you believe in aliens? Idk theirs probably smth else besides us on this dingy space rock

When was the last time you cried? Why? When I sneezed 6 times in a row a minute ago

What’s your favorite decade? Hmmmmm. Idk. Early 2000’s maybe, 60’s-80’s seem cool

What are some seemingly childish things you like? Stuffed animals, ‘kids’ shows, wanting to play on swing sets

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? Uhhh Idk if this is my favorite but I really really like the book series called Strange The Dreamer!

How are you, really? Idk

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? I’m extremely indecisive

What are you looking forward to in the near future? Doing some musicals/plays, Halloween, seeing my sister again, going to a con

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? Moving lol, hopefully finding a partner

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? My home state Colorado

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Who- who sleeps with it open? Ew. Closed.

What’s your favorite flower? I don’t have one 🤷🏼‍♀️

Do you currently have a squish?  😎 🤏🤨🕶️🤏 a what. Okay after a quick google search this looks like a QPR. I used to but not rn

Do you like your middle name? I love it! It holds a lot of meaning to it and it’s actually the name I choose after realizing I’m trans (and also I generally hated my first name)

Do you prefer dogs or cats? Im allergic to cats so I have to say dogs but I love cats. But snakes are number one 🐍

Do you have any phobias? Arachnophobia

Do you stay up late? Well let’s just say im daggers friend from two days ago

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? Hate the beach. Clouds all the way. Mountains are THE BEST

What’s your favorite cartoon? The Owl House 🦉

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs @bloodied-dagger @el-fandom-birb @haystarlight@imhumanguysiswear@stars-and-birds@threegoblinart@childlikegoblinqueen@artkittycatty@tardismama@fandomsandflyingstingrays@rosy-tickles@ALL OF MY MUTUALS

Do you have siblings? How many? Uh I have two blood related sisters, two step brothers, and one brother in law

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? My dog probably. Other than that my mom

Is there anyone you would die for? My sister, my dog, my friends, my parents

What do you need when you’re sad? Happiness lol. Naw in all seriousness my dog

Have you memorized your phone number? If you haven’t I hope you like dying

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? My sister 

What does your last text say? “Oh”

My least favorite question was all of them because I woke up 6 minutes ago why am I doing this

#asks

[danpuff-ao3]

Hi!! 🎈💋🤲 For the ask game!

Lety!! Thanks for the asks!

[answers under the cut cuz wow is this a long one...sorry 🙈]

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Oh gosh, what a good question! Not one I know how to answer, I'm afraid. This is one of those things I'm always interested to hear what others have to say; what do they think my style is? Others probably see it clearer than I do, mired in my own mind as I am. And as hazy as it is, plagued as I am by a hypercritical and perfectionistic nature.

Perhaps it shifts a bit. Generally I try to stay in one POV and mold the telling around that character's voice and nature, which will inevitably have some impact on style. Though perhaps the core of it remains the same, driven as I am by my own goals. My aim is always to be true to the characters themselves, in whatever scenario I've conjured for them. The aim is always to be a bit ruthless, in ways that are both cathartic and indulgent for me. It's always character and emotion. And I always want to make people feel something; maybe to make them think.

Everything is very intentional, though perhaps not in a very conscious or logical way. Word choice...god how I agonize over word choice. Punctuation, too. Em-dashes and ellipses and semicolons! They all convey something a bit different. They affect the rhythm in their own way. Do I have choppy sentences, or do I connect them with a semicolon? To I carry through with endless em-dashes? What details to slip in, to color the world and flesh it out, without overburdening the story? What facts are important to keep, and which can be carved out? What is necessary to tell this story? What do I sacrifice for the greater good? What do I keep, like the greedy goblin I am?

But rarely is it "the curtains are blue because blue is sad and Harry closes the sad blue curtains so he can suffocate in his own sadness." And it's certainly never "I placed a semicolon there because it was the most correct way to structure that sentence." Pfffff. I'm all about the vibe, baby. Blue curtains set the scene the way I needed. The semicolon gave a burst of emotion that a comma couldn't quite cut.

...but then I've also had to last minute reorganize scenes because it occurred to me that it was very important to know when the full moon in April of 2001 happened. Is this story about werewolves? No. Is the full moon involved in an important plot point? Also no. But it does feel very life or death in my brain, so here we are.

So perhaps my style is best described as "weird obsessive lady tinkering with words under a thin veneer colored by her POV character", idk.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Yes, yes!!!! Absolutely! If only to ease my mind, since I feel like a lunatic and an annoyance and hearing back from them generally lets me know "hey I haven't scared this person off!" But also it's just generally nice to hear from people, and to connect with creators I admire! A big joy of fandom is the community of it so I dunno...it's just friendly and fun and makes me smile!

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

A headache. Sorry, I recently finished a rough draft that actually was a headache, but I think the spirit of the question is more...why do I write? What am I benefiting from it? Besides a headache.

Well! I am a lady with a very vivid imagination. And a lot of feelings.

So firstly, language is made for communication. And I was going to go off on this whole tangent in the first question. How...okay, maybe I don't always choose the most technically, literally correct way of doing things, but art is not much about being technical and correct. And neither is communication, really. You think of the pedants out there who gripe and complain about slang, or words that shift meaning (as if words aren't all made up, and as if words don't historically change meaning as times change and societies change, but I digress...) and they miss the point that this is communication. Language wasn't built for you to make a 100 on your English paper. It's for us to connect.

So...writing as communication. Conversation, and stories. How much we learn about others and the world. And how much we learn about ourselves.

So...communication and connection, in some ways. Even stories that aren't shared, it's much like writing in a journal. It's still new life breathed into the chaos of my mind. And even if it isn't meant to be shared, doesn't mean it never will be. And even if no one else ever does read it, it's much like talking to oneself.

I spend so much time in my own head, mulling over a thousand and one thoughts. My brain never shuts up, okay? So while daydreaming and contemplation is the inward function of those thoughts and feelings, speaking and writing is the outward motion of them, even if it's only putting them to word, putting them to shape, in an empty room. And that outward motion can shed new light on them, or cast them in a new shape. Lines you'd not noticed before, a different shade of blue there. It's a new and different way to experience what I'm thinking and feeling, helps me process them better, helps me come to terms with my own mind.

So even at its most personal and private, still the idea of putting it in a new place and exploring it in different ways.

But then, when you share it, when you let others read it, it's communication in the more proper way you think of it. Connecting with others. Sharing with others. And knowing that all of the benefit I get from seeing the world through another's' perspective, I give back by sharing my own. And the connections made to others through them!

Stories have been such a huge part of my life for my entire life. My mom would sing me songs and read me stories every night. And the moment I learned to read, I never stopped. There is so much to learn from and take from stories. The stories I've read have helped shape who I am. And my writing is such a similar thing. It's part of me. A way of sharing all of the color and noise and movement in my soul. A way of sharing every twisty thought, every sharp feeling. It is so much a part of me, even if not in very literal, easily-definable ways.

It can be a means of catharsis. Of purging the poison, or riding out a fever. It's a safe way of interacting with things too complicated or too dangerous to face head on.

Writing is empathy. It is sitting and looking through another's eyes. Not a real person, maybe, but an other. A way to consider other people, and how they think and feel, and how to connect with them.

Writing is an adventure! All sorts of journeys I might never take in real life. A way of considering potential and opportunity. Writing is playing. It's a game. It's toying with scenarios and worlds and words. It's fun, and thrilling! But it can also be daunting, and challenging.

It can be easy. It can be release. It can be joyous and exciting. It can be terrible and awful and difficult. Not always good things, but it's just...who I am, I guess. It gives me what I want, sometimes, but mostly what I need. It's good for me, mind and heart and soul, however rough the ride is.

Most people who know me know I love astrology, so I have to end with a nod towards that. 😂 My moon (emotion, subconscious) is in Leo. Leo, which is light and cheery and magnetic. It's my need to be seen and to connect. Leo is about creation. And adulation, I'm not gonna lie. 🤣 But it's mostly...just having a lot of energy and an overactive imagination and a whole heck of a lot of passion. Leo is generous and big and loud. It's just a need deep inside to create and share.

And maybe the biggest thing of all is that: the act of creation. Feeling productive and accomplished and proud. To have given form and life to something outside of myself, and the desire to see it grow and thrive.

Wow this was a lot of blabbering, oops. 🙊

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

#asked & answered #fic writer asks

[onyxolay]

The semicolon tattoo

TW: Suicide attempt mentions

The outcasts decide to take a break for once and go swimming at a nearby lake. They get to the lake and start setting up the picnic blankets and snacks and towels, meanwhile Lucas looked at everyone with a smile. “Ha, I love these people…” Archie on his should hummed in a way that signaled he agreed. Lucas puts down Archie and Archie runs to Thord and Greysons blanket, he says hello. Meanwhile Lucas’ attention goes to the water, he wasn’t in the best mood, visions of him drowning himself and other death involving water filled his mind before he was snapped out of it.

“Hello? Daddyyyyyy, Cmon! It’s time to swim!” Lucas giggled and looked down at Archie, who was wearing some green swimming trunks. Lucas replied, “haha, okay buddy, come on yall! Time to swim!” “YAY!” Thord and Greyson jump in first. Lucas takes his shirt off to reveal a Semicolon tattoo. It was a semicolon with wings resembling a butterfly. Archie spotted the tattoo and pointed at it. “Ooohhh cool tattoo papa! What’s it supposed to be?” Lucas looked away for a minute sighing, the others looked at there leader. Everyone there had seen it before, even Calvin had, but not Archie… “daddy..? Are you okay?” “Yeah darlin I’m fine…the tattoo you just saw was my semicolon tattoo! I got it to look like a butterfly to make more light of it…” “what do you mean to make more light? Does it mean something bad?” “Not Exactly…you see…mmm…”

Lucas wasn’t sure how he was gonna explain this to Archie, he decided to give a bit of context.

“So Archie…you know how papa had a rough life and even in the after life things were bad?” “Yes?” “Well…when I was alive…a long long time ago…there was multiple times where I felt like I wasn’t enough, that I was burden and that I was nothing but an annoyance to people and not worth staying around for…and even today I still feel like that sometimes; so one night after a fight with my parents I had had enough…I want my room and wrote the letter. I said that I was sorry for everything wrong I had done, I said that I was sorry for being a failure of a child…I had the knife in my hand…It was early in the morning and I had the letter on the stove…This wasn’t the only time I tried this of course but ya know. But then, I thought about it…my friend’s at school, my at the time partner, some people in my forever dysfunctional family…they were all gonna miss me if I left…plus I knew that if I did and I woke up alive my parents would punish me again, probably worse than ever. So I didn’t…To give to straight Archie when someone has a semicolon tattoo it means that some tried to close the book, commit suicide and end there story off permanently, but they didn’t. They pressed on, and so did I… So now ya know why I have this…now how about we go swimming?”

Silence filled the group of outcasts, with Archie’s eyes wide and teary. “P-papa…?! You?! WAAAA!!!” Archie cited And hugged his fathers leg, Lucas picked up the boy and hugged him, soothing him and telling him everything was okay. “I-! I’m so sorry you had to do through all of that dad…! I’m sorry you felt like you had to do that…!” As Archie cured Lucas tested up a little bit too, “Father please…keep going, for ur children and for the outcasts, and for the lost children you have take and are going to take under wings as you do me…okay…?” Lucas, now sniffling and with tears running down his face, replied, “okay Darlin…now come one everybody..! Get that magic on and start swim!”

They all hop in and start swimming and talking. A little while later Thord swims up to chase. “Uhhh Chase?” “Yeah Thord?“ “what are the lost children? And why did Archie mention them?” “Well…as you know Lucas is a Demi-god and has been for a very, very long time…Each entity that is classified as mythical has its own ‘myth’ or ‘tales’ that come with them. And one of the many popular ones is the Myth of the lost children. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the stories…The stories of Hurt or Abused children being taken by a powerful and mysterious being, and how these children often become very lucky and either come to power or have an amazing amount of wealth later in life.” “Yes I’ve heard,my tribe used to talk about them all the time!” Thord replied.

“Exactly, Lost children are taken by this mysterious Entity for safety and luck. Ever wonder who that was?” “Yes of course- oh…” Chase points to Lucas as Thord ends his sentence and the dots connect in Thords head. “But why does he do it…?” Thord asked. “So that they don’t end up like him.” Chase replied. “If Lucas didn’t save all of those kids, they would have ended up like him or worse…he protects these children becuase no one was there to protect him.” “But why are they called Lost children?” “Because the kids that he saves, he takes under his wing as his own; and like I said, but then these kids don’t really have much of a firmly anymore, hence the whole lost thing. And plus like I said these kids often get enormously lucky in there future.” “Can you give me an example?” Chase starred at Thord for a minute, wondering if he should tell him. “Ahhhh- I’ll tell ya later.” “Uhh okay”

Hours past and the team is packing up to go home. Thord walks with Chase chatting more Behind the others. Mainly about Lucas being mentally unwell and the Lost children. They get back to the base and all entire into there own spaces. Thord enters Lucas’ room to see Lucas starring at his arms, “uhhh Pops?” ��H-huh- oh hey Thord…” “are you okay in here…?” “Yeah I’m fine, just…ya know…” “Yeah I get it… but like I said, keep pushing on okay?” “Okay…”

Thord went back to Chase. “Sooo the Example?” Chase sighed, “remember your old tribe leader Walda?” “Yesss..?” “She was a lost child…but it all went wrong…very wrong…”

“WHAT?!”

#minecraft #minecraft au #archie #au #minecraft dungeons #rise of the arch illager #arch illager #lucasolay #thord #outcasts #my mental state is shit #bad mental health

[aldilaaishwari-blog]

whatever - TMI updated

TMI TAG ∙ QUESTIONS: 1: What are you wearing? t-shirt, cardigans & trousers (fall & no heating)

2: Ever been in love? Duh!! (HAHA) Probably not

3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Hmm. Is there any good breakups tho?

Actually must be worse for my exes that are ghosted right after (sorry)

4: How tall are you? Around 1,6

Still the same

5: How much do you weigh? Last time I checked it was 52 kg. Maybe it’s less now since I am broke :p

HAHA add 10 kg to that

6: Any tattoos? Nope.

Yes! Small semicolon on my wrist

7: Any piercings? I have both of my ears pierced.

My nose, my side ear (orbital?)

8: OTP? I don’t have anyonr in mind. Maybe chandler and monica. Rachel and ross.

Had to google this first. Hmmm maybe still the same? Or Jim & Pam? Actually idk, no otp

9: Favorite show? Friends is my all time fave!

Ew no hahah. Ok ew is too strong. big bang?

10: Favorite bands? I can’t think of any now. How lame! I know

Still don't know

11: Something you miss? My lil sister, my parents, my friend in korea and in indonesia and of course my man who I get to see this weekend. Eek so excited!

Def not the same answer. My sister, yes. hmm idk?

12: Favorite song? Hard question! I can’t just mention one. I have too many!

Still too many. Now on repeat: loving you, first day of my life

13: How old are you? Err 25. I know I am old. Shut up!

HAHA 33 and feel much younger than my 25 self

14: Zodiac sign? I am a gemini girl!

Still same

15: Quality you look for in a partner? Hard worker, funny, confident

Idk? I am not looking

16: Favorite Quote? Be happy and a reason will come :) Always works!

Ooh I hope I can go back to this. But now I'm here for good time not long time lol

17: Favorite actor? Hmm also hard. Johnny depp is one of them.

idk?

18: Favorite color? Black, white

Still same I guess

19: Loud music or soft? Mostly loud.

BOTH

20: Where do you go when you’re sad? Go to my friends or just to my bed

Walking around, journaling

21: How long does it take you to shower? That differs everytime. Can be from 5 tik 20 mins

Still the same

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Normally i can get ready in 30 mins

haha def longer

23: Ever been in a physical fight? No and i am not planning to have one. Make love not war ;)

Still no yay

24: Turn on? 3 days beards!

hahahha not sure. but perhaps loong, meaningful conversation?

25: Turn off? Bad breath(ew)

People who are not in touch with their emotions, (typical) masculine energy haha

26: The reason I joined Youtube? Just to watch videos. Maybe too many videos

same

27: Fears? That I will dissapoint my parents

NOOOO. idk?

28: Last thing that made you cry? Intense talk with my bf T.T

HAHAHHA omg, still the same reason, same person

29: Last time you said you loved someone? I just did

Cant remember

30: Meaning behind your YouTube Name? It’s my real name

Same

31: Last book you read? Murakami book, but I didnt finish it. I will maybe in the future.

OMG still haven't finished it hahaha

32: The book you’re currently reading? None.

Same

33: Last show you watched? Ellen. Love her!!

EW no ellen. Hmmm? Dahmer?

34: Last person you talked to? My friend via skype

Firly

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? It’s my good friend

Same

36: Favorite food? All indonesian food. Oh and eggs! I can eat that every day err day!

Still the same

37: Place you want to visit? South korea!

Stil the same I guess

38: Last place you were? Hmmm my toilet(?)

Firly's place

39: Do you have a crush? I have lots of youtuber crush! Hihi

LOL no one

40: Last time you kissed someone? Don’t even remember! How sad.

OMG Aldila haha.

41: Last time you were insulted? I don’t know. I can’t be offended easily.

Still the same

42: Favorite flavor of sweet? Chocolate. Esp. Dark chocolate

Same

43: What instruments do you play?? I wish I had one.

lol same

44: Favorite piece of jewelry? Ring

yes

45: Last sport you played? Run. Last week. I normally run every week and pilates twice a week, but I just got my wisdom teeth removed so I can’t do any sports for a week.

HAHAHA cant rememeber

46: Last song you sang? I don’t know.

Soko - Take my heart

47: Favorite chat up line? I honestly don’t know any chat up line Haha

Gosh still same answer

48: Have you ever used it? Err no

49: Last time you hung out with anyone? Just now

Today's morning

50: Who should answer these questions next? Everyone who read til the end ;)

[lolmanthecat]

Stage 2: Anger

*ping*

My phone complained.

"Thanks you having taken care of moving your things so fast. If later, before you leave, you'll want to talk in person about what happened it might be a good idea." read the message on it.

Curious, so the weight of starting a conversation lies with me? Newsflash: I don't want to talk. The desire to talk disappeared a month ago after your last hurl of insults.

So since you didn't say you want to talk should I understand that this isn't you wanting to talk? It is you just granting me the decision of making the first step? Oh thank you for your kindness. It was unnecessary.

I guess asserting your will isn't a thing you managed to learn in this life yet.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on you since it took me 30 years to able to do it myself, and it is still hard to do, but for some reason I feel like I justified this type of behaviour way too many times. All times too many.

With my mother, with you, with many other people. Unable to say what's on their mind and therefore hiding it under either snide remarks or indirect requests. I am tired.

Just like them you managed to make me fear smiles. You made me see how insincere they are. How they are used to hide whatever the person is actually feeling. Leaving me guessing if everything is fine or if maybe there are some untold problems that will appear at the first stumble.

More than anything I asked to tone down the insults aimed only to hurt me unless you wanted to end things. I guess I was stupid to even bother to expect you to understand what I meant. You did it more than I should have accepted since early in the relationship. I guess it's on me? Or maybe you wanted to end things and therefore this is your wanted outcome? Maybe I'll never know.

I cannot even fathom an answer right now because of how angry this makes me.

Let me hope tomorrow I'll feel better.

****************************************************************

Apparently waking up angry and with a flight in a couple of hours is actually very bad. As if I wasn't already under enough stress. I guess I do owe her an answer of sorts. Leaving people without an answer is the one level I wouldn't like to stoop down to.

"oh don't worry. I don't want to talk." I type in my phone.

That does sound a tad aggressive. Morning aren't really my thing.

"so does that mean you don't want to talk? Guess we are on the same boat." I rewrite.

I actually managed to make it worse did I?

Ach. This will take a while.

...

"I have my flight in a couple of hours. I don't think I can manage to fit an appointment.

I don't know what you would want to talk about since in your last messages 2 months ago you wrote how you you are not searching for reconciliation and wanted to put some full stops in this relationship.

This is the full stop you asked for. I don't understand why would want to make it a semicolon."

Said the message I wrote.

Would you look at that. I am just as bad as you in being direct. Guess nobody grew up thanks to this relationship. Such a sad realization.

Maybe I gave up on being direct? Since it would have been a waste of time to be confrontational after this relationship has been shattered into pieces? Such a good excuse.

The incapability of saying things as they are and the desire to be the least confrontational possible unless I feel a complete disregard for my person. Nah, probably even in the case of disregard for my person I would forgive. Sigh... More growing up to do.

*send*

I guess it is done. Hopefully in the most simple way possible. Quite sad, but maybe it is peaceful enough to move forward and not drag each other in the mud for no reason. Time to put my things together and move towards the airport.

*ping*

The moment of truth is upon us.

"I guess you are right. I thought it was possible to have a vis-à-vis in a mature way, but probably it is not advisable anymore. Have safe travels."

Ah yes: Passive aggressiveness and snide remarks. You were not missed. Now hell ensues.

*****All Hell Breaks Loose*******

"Are you happy after you wrote these things? As mentioned above you are free. I don't know why this conversation is happening if getting away from me is the goal. When you will be able to communicate with less anger, I will be more willing to talk. As things stand now I am happy like this" Read my last message.

Oh look I got blocked. I guess you were just as immature as me in the end. We really did make a cute couple after all.

It is time to grow up.

How does one do it?

#writing #love yourself #Stage 2 #Anger #feelings #lost love

[web-devplus]

What is the difference between Error and a Warning in programming

What is the difference between Error and a Warning in programming What is the difference between Error and a Warning in programming  What is the difference between Error and a Warning in programming  : The Error --> Error concept of error in programming; An error occurs when you write Code, an error that does not meet the language standards, such as an error in (Syntax - forgetting to put () when writing the Function - missing data - not placing the semicolon ...etc). So the compiler can't know what to do and tells you that there is an error and the program can't continue.   The "Error_Error" stops the entire program and it cannot continue to run until the error is fixed. : The Warning --> Warning: The Warning is a notice or warning from the language compiler, alerting you that there is something wrong with your program and you must fix it The Warning “Warning” does not mean that there is a fatal or serious error that causes the program to stop, in contrast to the “Error”. Here, the program does not stop working, but the "Compiler" does an escape for this Warning, and the program continues to work without problems. via Blogger https://ift.tt/5tABwYR March 11, 2023 at 11:15PM

#IFTTT #Blogger

[nightowlfandom]

CEO! Min Yoongi- My Favorite Secretary

Why hello there!

ANON ASKS

Hi! Want to make a nasty petition pls. I want CEO Yoongi but he is so mean and strict with y/n he discharges all his frustrations and stress on her until he gets to fuck with her. I want a hard smut plsss

With these :

3, 15, 21, 60, 66

OOOOH FUN!!! LET’S GET INTO IT I was not too proud of this one...but here you go! Yo this one was LOOONNGGG, like shit. 

3- I said FUCKING BEG!

15- Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby.

21- That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you? Look up at me like I’m your god.

60- I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling.

66- I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

leggo!!

... (Monday)

“You’ll have to redo these reports.” a stack of papers was thrown onto your desk. You stared up at your boss in disbelief. 

“And just what’s wrong with them?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“There are exactly 15 typos in these reports and since I don’t care enough to go through them with you, I want them redone.” 

Min Fucking Yoongi. CEO of Bangtan Enterprises. You of course were a humble secretary who wrote reports on every idol and client that walked through the damn door. 

“I spent hours on those!” you tried to defend. “I already deleted the stupid file to save space on my computer!”

“You have until the end of the week.” he walked away without another word. 

“Sora didn’t even turn in her reports because she stayed up playing fucking Doki Doki Handsome Husband Haven and you gave her an extension!” 

Yoongi didn’t respond as he turned the corner. 

“Are you fucking kidding me.” you seethed. 

... (Thursday Afternoon)

“Y/N!” you heard the horribly scary voice. 

“What now?” you whimpered. You turned around in your chair to see your boss fuming. “Yes, Mr. Min?”

“YOUR REPORTS ON MY CLIENT ARE LATE!”

“No they aren’t! They aren’t due for another three days!” you tried to defend. Everyone else was starting to stare. They all knew how they treated you and they all felt super bad that he chose you to bully. 

“I SENT AN EMAIL YESTERDAY SAYING I WANTED IT TODAY AT 10:00 IT’S NOW 2:00!”

“No you didn’t! I would have seen it-” you tried to speak.

“YOU HAVE TWENTY MINUTES TO HAVE IT DONE OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR JOB.” 

“Y/N, don’t cry...you’re doing that thing you do when you’re about to cry.” your friend came over to your side. “Don’t waste your tears on that asshole.”

You inhaled dramatically, starting to type furiously through your blurry vision. You felt the tear slip down your cheek and you went to furiously wipe it.

...(Lunchtime: Thursday Afternoon)

Sobbing in the bathroom was a thing right?

Your two friends, Dahyun and Sana stood outside the bathroom stall as you sobbed into your hands. They were convincing you to not quit.

“Y/N, You know this is the only job that will let you live comfortably in this city. Other than being a teacher...and who’d want that?” Sana shuddered. “He’s done this more than TWICE now.” (...I’M NOT SORRY)

“I HATE HIM! I FUCKING HATE HIM.” You cried. “WHY IS HE ALWAYS MEAN TO ME!” You furiously wiped your eyes.

“Y/N, Open the door.” Dahyun sighed. “Let us in.”

The stall door slowly open and your two friends were met by a totally distraught woman. Your hands were stained with your eyeliner that you hand managed to completely wipe off leaving your tired face. 

“Y/N, he’s working you to the bone. You don’t even smile anymore.” Sana kneeled in front of you, taking your dirty hands into hers. “Why do you let him bully you?”

“Because if I don’t, I won’t have a job.” you sniffed. 

“Is someone dying in here?” you heard Miss. Hyuna, another boss walk in. “Aw honey, did a boyfriend break up with you...do you want me to ‘accidentally’ get his car towed?”

Miss Hyuna was both Sana’s and Dahyun’s boss, you guys just liked to have lunch together.

“It’s Mr. Min.” Dahyun spoke for you. “He’s working Y/N to the bone. He only ever bullies her and no one else. I’ve seen it personally.”

“Is that so?” she raised an eyebrow, looking less than happy. “Is that true Miss. L/N. Is Mr. Min treating you unfairly?”

You couldn’t speak, so you just nodded. 

“All he does is yell at and belittle her every chance he gets.” Sana looked at Miss. Hyuna.

“Hm, I’ll go talk to him, right now. If he fires you, he’ll answer to me.” was all she said before she walked away. She ignored Sana trying to hold you back from stopping her.

Hyuna walked out of the bathroom with fire in her eyes. She walked by your desk only to see what looked like an open notebook with the words ‘The Min Yoongi Files’ written in permanent marker on the first page.

“This must be her case.” she shut the notebook, ignoring the childish looking anime stickers on the inside page. “I should take this for evidence, I hope she won’t mind.”

“Yoongi!” Hyuna stormed into his office, shutting the door behind her.

“Hey Hyuna, what’s up?” Yoongi looked up from his lunch. “What can I do for you?”

“What’s this I hear about you mistreating a worker? One of YOUR workers?”

“Pardon me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Mistreating?”

“Two of MY workers are busy consoling Y/N L/N in the ladies restroom on their lunch break of all times because according to all three of them, you’ve been unfairly treating her!!” she glared. She slammed the notebook down on his desk. “This should speak for itself.” she sighed. 

“I don’t mistreat Y/N L/N, She’s insolent! She needs discipline.”

“SHE’S YOUNG.” Was Hyuna’s comeback. “You can’t treat her like she’s a piece of garbage just because she makes one typo!” 

“Her typos cost us time.”

“So does your shameless reprimanding her for missing a semicolon.” she rebutted. “Think about it! Are men always this stupid.” she looked him up and down before walking out of his office.

Yoongi watched dumbfounded. He took at look at the notebook she left behind.

“Property of Y/N L/N.” he read aloud. He flipped it open to the first page to see a bunch of shiny and matte stickers all over the inside cover. “The Min Yoongi Files? Speak for itself, huh?” (read more below the break)

...

(The Next Morning) (Smut Warning)

You begrudgingly trudged into the office. Not only were you tired, but you were dreading. You had multiple deadlines.

“L/N, MY OFFICE.”

“Shit...” you seethed. You walked past your desk into Yoongi’s office. He was sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a very familiar looking book. “You wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes, I did.” he shut the book and slid it over to you. “Care to explain?”

“Holy fu- ” You had forgotten you left your diary on your desk. How did he get a hold of that?

“ I found that little journal you made about me. I think it’s so cute how you fantasize about me, darling. Hyuna gave it to me thinking it was a list of every terrible thing I’ve done to you. I didn’t know it would be a list of every terrible thing you wanted me to do to you.” his face spread into a smirk. 

“You read my property-”

“My name is on it, which means it’s company property by association.” he was still smirking. “Y/N, Y/N Y/N...I didn’t know you were such a needy little girl. On my desk, in the breakroom? The elevator of all places?? I didn’t even know you enjoyed when I raised my voice.“ he raised an eyebrow. “You do realize I could have you fired for writing about me in such a way.”

“Yes sir.” you whimpered. “I’ll have all my sh-..stuff off my desk by-”

“Y/N what on earth are you talking about?” he raised an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t think you are fired.”

“I’m sorry?” you raised an eyebrow, becoming very confused. 

“Even though I’m an asshole, a big jerk, and the bane of your existence, you still want me?” he raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you have more of a backbone than I thought. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to miss a chance to break that spirit of yours.” he rose to his feet and walked around his desk to face you. “Get over here.” he urged.

He grabbed you by the hand and yanked you to his chest. He crashed his hot mouth over yours, capturing you in a kiss. He held both sides of your face gingerly. In a shock, you held onto his blazer jacket to stop from falling over.

“Hmm.” he moaned. 

“Mr. Min!” you gasped. “We can’t- I’m your secretary!! And I don’t know if you’re aware of this but you hate me.”

“ Whose gonna stop us? I own this fucking place, baby. “ he laughed manically. “And who the hell said I hated you? Plus you want this. I know you do because you wouldn’t have written about me throwing you on my desk and eating that little pussy...fuck that was my favorite story to date.” he spoke in a babyish voice. “Shit I’ve always loved what that ass does to me.”

You felt yourself melt in every way. The thought that someone would storm in didn’t even cross your mind. He back you up against the table, sitting you on the desk. Yoongi tore off his blazer and hastily undid his necktie.

He broke away from you, allowing you to suck in air. You took a deep breath as you felt your lips. He practically tore his shirt open, buttons flying everywhere to reveal that body. To say you were taken aback was the understatement of the century.

“ That’s right, you fucking worship me don’t you?” he smirked as you stared him down “ Look up at me like I’m your god” he quoted the exact words from the entry you had written just 5 days ago. 

“Oh, you read the whole thing.” you squeaked. “I am so fucked.” you whimpered.

“I’ll be honest, I’ve been needing a good way to unleash my stress.” he shrugged. “This is perfect..” he motioned, tugging the hem of your shirt, playing with and unfastening each button. “I can take out my stress and you get to feel the real thing instead of writing shameless fan fiction.” he laughed. “Don’t make any mistakes,” he drank in your body. “I want this to be more than sex.”

Before you could say another word, Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist again. He leaned down and softly kissed your lips. You just prayed he didn’t taste the bacon, egg, and, cream cheese bagel you ate this morning. You didn’t know what to do, so you shyly returned his affections.

“Come on, act like how you write about. Moan for me, grab my hair-” he mumbled through kisses. “Kiss me like you hate me.” he grunted. “Unless-...”

He abruptly yanked down your skirt along with your panties. “Maybe we should do this right. Spread em, secretary.”

He wasted no time in hooking your legs around his shoulders. 

“Mr. M-min.” you whimpered, feeling something wet trailed up your slit. 

“Shit...you taste so fucking good.” he moaned. “Damnit Y/N, you coulda told me you wanted me earlier.” he flicked his tongue against your clit. “Maybe if you had a good fuck, your reports would be more punctual.”

“That report wasn’t due and you know it.” you found it in you to reply. You tilted your head back, feeling his fingers be introduced into your tightness. “F-fuh”

 “Come on, you love this shit.” he laughed, lashing his tongue against you. “Beg for me, beg for my mouth, beg for me to make you cum.” he moaned into your heat. “I said FUCKING BEG! ” he thrust his fingers even deeper. “Come on, scream my name.”

“M. Min, I- we- you....”

“Not that...my first name...fucking say it I wanna hear it. I wanna hear if its as cute in my mind when I read how I made you squirt all over my fucking desk.” he kept moving his mouth and fingers against you.

“Y-yoongi.” you obeyed. This only encouraged him.

 “I’m gonna corrupt your mind. I love to play with you like you’re a fucking violin.” he giggled.

(3 days later... )

You were sitting at your desk when a stack of papers was thrown on your desk.

“There are 8 typos, fix them.” was all he said before he walked off. 

“Not again.” your work friend, seethed “what is it this time.“ She didn’t look up from her computer as you flipped through the pages.

My office, now secretary ;). Followed by a whole bunch of gibberish that lasted several pages.

“I’ll go talk to him” you rolled your eyes, taking the pile with you. You walked into his office. “Okay sir-” you began, walking through the door. You closed it behind you. “What seems to be the-”

Before you could talk any more, you felt his hand trail under your skirt. You felt his breathy laugh on the back of your neck. 

“I was hoping...we could go over your reports last week. I don’t think we got enough done, do you?”

(I was on a deadline....BUT I DID IT, my head is POUNDING)

#nightowlfandom #hoseok smut #taehyung smut #jimin smut #namjoon smut #jungkook smut #yoongi smut #seokjin smut #kpop imagines #kpops cenarios #kpop smut #kpop x reader #hoseok imagines #taehyung imagines #yoongi imagines #jimin imagines #jungkook imagines #seokjin imagines #imagines #min yoongi smut #bts au #bts x reader #bts smut #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagines #bts ceo au #yoongi x reader #boss x reader #smut #smut imagines

[moth-based-cryptology]

Youtuber!Ralbert Au

originally done by the lovely @we-are-inevitable you can find the original concept here

part two to this series can be found here

and my valentine’s hcs can be found here

ok so let’s set up the basics first

albert is a faceless gaming youtuber known for his voice (thing corpse husband but instead of how deep it is it’s cause of his distinct accent)

race is a vlogger/lifestyle youtuber who makes chaotic content that shows off his bubbly personality p e r f e c t l y

they also happen to be roommates (and boyfriends, but that’s not public just yet)

at first, their fan bases were pretty separate, as their content didn’t really mix

until one day race posts a video of him trying on outfits picked by his subscribers through twitter (video inspo by phil lester here)

and he brings in his vague, never-shown-on-camera roommate that he mentions occasionally in vlogs to help him

enter, albert dasilva (aka chaotic red on twitch/youtube)

now albert’s voice is distinct, especially to his fans considering it’s the only thing about him that’s consistently in videos

so IMMEDIATELY the comments are full of “holy shit is chaotic red race’s mysterious roommate omg-“

the whole video is full of playful banter and fond looks from race to behind the camera, and waY MORE LAUGHTER FROM RED THAN ANY OF HIS SUBS ARE USED TO

it’s basically a goldmine for albert’s fans cause it’s the first time he’s out of his usual element of video games

and about 2 days after the video drops, albert tags race on his public twitter saying their going live on twitch to play among us with their friends

(friends meaning all of the other newsies, who in this au are also youtubers)

THIS TURNS OUT TO BE ANOTHER ABSOLUTE GOLDMINE FOR THE FANS

apparently, the thing about al’s laughter in race’s video wasn’t “red being out of his element,” it was the fact race was there making him laugh

cause this stream is the happiest they’ve EVER heard red be (albert usually plays horror games and among us, there’s just a lot of yelling and swearing and a bit of banter in usual gameplays)

he’s joking with everyone more than normal, you can practically HEAR him smiling, and race is making him genuinely laugh every couple minutes with his stupid one liners and general confusion at “how to video game”

albert is really lucky his alias comes from the face race nicknamed him “red” in middle school, cause race manages not to accidentally call him by his real name at any point during the stream

it’s actually al who makes a mistake

now it’s not an “i accidentally revealed my secret identity mistake live on stream” mistake-

no, it’s almost w o r s e

he calls race babe, live on stream to thousands of people, more than once

twitter absolutely looses its shit, as expected

race may or may not have sat on their living room floor laughing his ass off at what he can see of albert’s distressed expression as he lays face down on their couch

yeah let’s just say the next week he’s in race’s vlog again (kinda? like his voice is in it but he’s still not ready for his face to be all over everywhere just yet)

now albert’s fans have a vague description of him, the basics of sorts, and the voice to guess his general region of origin

they know he’s stockier and muscly, got red hair and hazel eyes, covered in freckles (he may or may not get compared to a weasley or two on twitter more consistently then he cares to admit)

but racer’s fans know A LOT about him, he’s a lifestyle vlogger ffs, it’s his j o b to share his life

so long story short there’s a segment in race’s vlog where they’re just like “yeah we’re dating and have been since junior year of highschool it be like that lmao”

and the rest of the vlog is just them doing domestic shit? like albert’s face is off camera but for the first time you can s e e him on camera

they bake cookies at one point and you can see his trademark necklace race got him for graduation when he was 18, his troye sivan concert tee that he’s cut the sleeves off of, the freckles all over and the fact he wears stacks of bracelets on both wrists and his hands are covered in rings

you can see the scar on his shoulder from when he jumped the fence sneaking out to hang with race freshman year, and the semicolon tattoo on the side of his right hand

you can see his personality, not just hear it, and believe me he’s got SO MUCH OF IT

he’s funny and witty and he teases race like nobody else does and his fans can finally see the way he leans back and laughs with his whole body when race does something stupid

all of their fans are slowly combining, cause race shows up on the chaotic red gaming channel more often from dramatically popular request (and the fact albert loves making fun of him for having no idea what he’s doing

and albert is in almost all of race’s vlogs at least once, because he’s a massive part of race’s life and he’s finally allowed to share that piece that was missing

the amount of fan content made for the two of them is ASTRONOMICAL (think jenna marbles and julien solomita levels of fan content, it’s two massive fanbases combining and theyre so hyped up)

they’re just happy vibing together on youtube once they finally start posting together, and absolutely nobody’s complaining about it

and if they have to do a little extra editing cause of kisses on camera or impromptu slow dances in the kitchen or race accidentally saying albie, then it’s worth the extra work for how happy everyone is

lmk if i should do more of this cause i love this au more than anything

also seriously go follow jac their blog is one of my favorites and everything they write is pure gold

fín :)

#ralbert #livesies #newsies #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #ben tyler cook #sky flaherty #THIS ONE MADE ME REALLY HAPPY #i almost cried writing that bit about albert being on camera for the first time #they’re just so cute #youtuber au #ralbert headcanons #albert headcanons #racetrack headcanons #newsies headcanons #lmk if you want me to do more for this one cause it makes me really happy #i’ll also totally do other newsies #never not read the tags #this post is so long i'm sorry #chaotic red and radioactive racer

[idiopath-fic-smile]

an In Defiance of all Geometry coda

another installment in the “donate at least $25 to a BLM-related cause and i’ll write at least 250 words of fic” series, which is still ongoing!

Somehow, even with all of their belongings packed into boxes, even after surviving the arduous project of putting said belongings into said boxes (how do people acquire so many things over the course of daily life? It’s hard to fathom) Combeferre can barely believe they’re moving out of Amis House.

“Well,” says Combeferre, swallowing past a lump in his throat.

“Well,” says Enjolras, placing a firm and reassuring hand on Combeferre’s shoulder.

“Uh hey, can I get through?” says Marius, and Combeferre moves away, feeling a pang of the usual guilt that manifests specially when he forgets about Enjolras’s roommate.

(Usually, this comes accompanied by white-hot embarrassment because usually it comes up when Combeferre fails to recall Marius’s presence for long enough to start getting physical with Enjolras, or occasionally Grantaire. There’s a reason Grantaire, Combeferre, and Enjolras spend so much of their time in Combeferre’s single, and it’s partly just so Combeferre has a place to let his blushes disperse. Marius is a nice enough person to never give Combeferre a difficult time about these little misadventures, but for one thing, it is humiliating to have to apologize to someone so repeatedly, disastrously wrong about the legacy of Ronald Reagan.)

(No, Combeferre is never letting that go. It’s Reagan.)

Grantaire appears in the doorway. “Bahorel’s truck is ready to go,” he announces. Bahorel has agreed to help the three of them move to their new two-bedroom in exchange for a loaf of homemade banana bread and “ten points.” Bahorel has absolutely refused to explain what the points are, or how or when they might be redeemed.

“Oh, you’ll know,” Bahorel had said, which might’ve sounded ominous, except there was a kitten in his shirt pocket at the time, specifically Jehan’s new all-black kitten which Jehan claimed off-handedly was “a down payment in future witchery” but whose name, as far as Combeferre could determine, was Semicolon, and Combeferre is struck anew by the force of how much he’ll miss living with nearly all his friends within arm’s reach.

“Oh hey, are there feelings happening in here?” Grantaire asks with a gentle smile, a smile that laughs with and not at. “Hey Marius.”

“Hey,” says Marius.

“We had so many good years in this place,” says Combeferre quietly.

“True,” says Grantaire, “and think of the better years to come.”

Enjolras shoots him an impressed look, and Combeferre can’t avoid a smile at that.

“Oh, to be clear, I’m not growing as a person,” says Grantaire, “I just like to practice a little something called reverse-nostalgia.”

“How does it work?” Comebeferre asks as the three of them make their first trip out to the truck. 

“Easy,” Grantaire says, straining a little under the weight of his box but gallantly not letting it show. “You say, ‘How can we leave a place so full of good memories?’ and then I say, ‘Hey Combeferre, remember that time the heat broke in the dead of winter and we all had to cuddle together in the common room like a litter of orphaned puppies?’”

“Of course he remembers that night,” says Enjolras, voice a little rumbly and Combeferre ducks his head in a way that reminds Grantaire, oh right, that was when those two crazy kids got together.

“Okay,” Grantaire perseveres, dropping his box in Bahorel’s flatbed. “But do you remember when we had all those guest co-opers and that white dude with dreadlocks was a total asshole?”

“Undoubtedly Enjolras remembers,” says Combeferre, grinning, “because that was when he started to realize he had feelings for you.”

Grantaire is very glad he’s not still carrying a box because all those breakable valuables would be toast.

“What?”

“Have you never heard that story?” Combeferre asks. “We’ll have to fill you in sometime.”

“Reverse-nostalgia is harder than it sounds,” Enjolras observes, giving Grantaire a playful shove and Grantaire has to suppress a smile because he knows it’s a weird thing to be smiley about, but both of them being relaxed enough and confident enough to mess around is still a little new and exciting.

“Okay,” says Grantaire, “okay, but remember the gnarly ant infestation we had last spring? The new place looked promisingly bug-free.”

“Fair point,” says Enjolras as Combeferre shudders. “Reverse-nostaliga has its charms.”

The new place feels gigantic, even once all their possessions are moved in, even compared to the enormity of Amis House. It takes Enjolras a second to locate the emotion: it feels so expansive because it’s theirs. Just theirs. It feels like a betrayal of socialist principles, but Enjolras will not miss, for example, the prospect of Marius walking in at any time.

They all stand there a moment, in the middle of what will be the living room, just taking it in.

“Reverse-nostalgia,” says Combeferre. “Romanticize the future,” and Enjolras can tell by the set of Combeferre’s mouth that it’s a quote, although he’s unsure of the source. He agrees, at any rate.

“Shall we?” Enjolras says, and with that, they start unpacking.

They’ve been at it maybe five minutes when Enjolras finds a box labelled “ART SHIT” and dutifully starts to carry it to the room they’ve designated Grantaire’s studio. It’s not big, but Grantaire has made several approving comments about the light, and then hearteningly few self-deprecating jokes about being the kind of person who cares about the light.

“Hey,” says Grantaire, appearing at his elbow. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure what?” says Enjolras.

“It wouldn’t be that hard to get a futon.” Grantaire’s chewing his lip a little.

Enjolras sets down the box. “Hey Combeferre!” he calls. “Grantaire’s doubting his place in the triad again!”

Combeferre walks into the room.

“He said he wants to sleep alone,” says Enjolras, and Combeferre makes the correct concerned face.

“No!” says Grantaire. “No, no, to be clear that is not what I’m doing.” He pauses. “I just, don’t you think, maybe it should look like two people here are dating and one person is the awkward third wheel, in case any relatives come to visit?”

“You’ve met my mom,” Combeferre says mildly. “You know that the day after your first gallery show she asked if it would be offensive to knit a Christmas stocking for a Jewish person. You’re in.”

Grantaire does that thing where he tries hard to pretend he isn’t glowing and turns to Enjolras. “You have relatives,” he says doggedly. “They don’t sound like they’d approve--”

“They probably wouldn’t,” says Enjolras. Then, “We talked about this. We have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and that means we have nothing to hide. If anyone in my life can’t deal with me dating two people I love and who love me, then they’re cordially invited to exit my life.”

“Shit,” says Grantaire, “you’re glorious when you’re like this, you know that? And same, same, you put it well.”

“So then what’s the problem?” says Combeferre.

Grantaire hesitates. “Maybe I just, uh, needed a little reassurance?” he manages, and despite his protestations, he is clearly growing as a person.

Combeferre and Enjolras share a look, and then they’re on him, a tangle of frantically fond arms that resolves into a three-way hug. Combeferre has said before that the three-person hug is a great argument for their particular model of polyamory, and Enjolras has to agree.

“I’m so glad we’re doing this with you,” Enjolras murmurs into Grantaire’s hair. He feels Grantaire nod. “Also, we’re not letting you out until you accept that you will never, ever be the awkward third wheel of this equation.”

“Hey,” says Grantaire, laughing as Combeferre and Enjolras both hold firm, “you know it’s a process.”

“We know,” says Combeferre. “Thai for dinner tonight?”

“Sounds great,” says Grantaire, and Enjolras nods, ready to start goddamn romanticizing the future.

[crestfallercanyon]

Show, Don't Tell. Narration vs. Exposition. Whatever you want to call it...

There's a bajillion posts on whether or not "show, don't tell" is shitty advice or if it's fantastic, if it's worded incorrectly or if it's just what the writer needs.

I tend to err on the side that it's oversimplified. That really, the advice should be "balance exposition and narration," but that's not nearly as catchy, and even then what does balance mean, what does one mean by exposition... it's not perfect.

(In my metaphor (balance exposition and narration) I would say that narration would theoretically "weigh" more, so you need less narration than you would exposition for them to be balanced, yadda yadda yadda...)

Ignoring my aside, all I really mean is that "show, don't tell" is not always true. Sometimes you should definitely tell. I don't want to read another Joseph Conrad's two page exposition about the missing bolts of Marlow's ship in Heart of Darkness (I fucking hated that book, college literature courses be damned). Just tell me Marlow was missing the damn bolts for his boat and he was stopped and now we're moving along.

Showing too much can lead to endless drag, and suddenly we're not going anywhere. It gets boring.

Yes, you could describe someone traveling from their house to the supermarket in intense detail that would render people speechless, but unless there's some particular importance to these travels, you may be better expounding on another piece of the story and just telling us that your characters went to the supermarket.

Now, there is a benefit to treating this oversimplified line like a rule:

In writing, once you know a rule by heart, you also know when it's right to break it.

Writers break writing rules all the time! Sometimes because it's the style of the author, sometimes it's because they need the line to flow a certain way and the rule is inhibiting, sometimes it's because they just damn well don't like what the rule would do to the sentence. Other times? It's simply because they can.

Personally, I am a fan of sentence fragments or dropping subjects. I trust that the reader can follow from the last sentence that I'm talking about the same thing. Sometimes I don't want to reintroduce the subject, and I don't want to put a semicolon.

(Another aside, people tend to hate the semicolon, prominent authors including Kurt Vonnegut, Stephen King, Ernest Hemingway, and others for example, to the point where the New Yorker evidently felt the need to write an article called "Sympathy for the Semicolon", and the other cited article in the example of authors who hated semicolons was called "For Those Who Love Semicolons").

So if you treat "show, don't tell," like a rule, you will learn how to rely on showing. You'll get really good at it, and since showing tends to be really difficult especially for new authors, this can be phenomenal to just make into a rule. It's generally easier to parry down rather than add on, and it just is easier to take a huge amount of description and know how to make it into a quick list of events.

That way when you become familiar with the rule of "show, don't tell"?

Break it.

Break it when you need to. Break it because you want to. But if you treat it like a rule and break it at your whim, you'll show your readers that you know what you should be doing and are in fact a seasoned writer worth your salt (if that's your goal), and it's because of your competence (instead of in spite of it) that you have now decided to ignore "show, don't tell", and told us what was going on.

Because let's face it, sometimes you need to tell. Sometimes the story will really be improved not by twenty lines detailing emotions or action or whatever.

You could write about the curling of fingers, the tensity in the forearms as his muscles shifted, the way his shoulders broadened to the resemblance of an eagle's wingspan, the way that his brows furrowed into a knot that cast a shadow over his face, how the color of his eyes churned gray and stormy, and the blood vessels in his neck were fit to burst. Sometimes, the writing is far more effective by just cutting to the chase: "he was fucking pissed."

And sometimes, you can tell AND show for emphasis! The two together are often not necessary (creates redundancy) but sometimes it's an emphasizer. "He was fucking pissed, and showed it, 'cause the next thing I knew he was punching Jimmy in the face."

Ey! There you go!

So yes, sometimes you need to tell. Sometimes you need to show AND tell. But... most of the time you really should be showing things. Which is why treating it like a rule that you occasionally need to break may be the way to go about getting that balance I talked about in the beginning.

I think the thing about "show, don't tell" that I dislike the most is that people treat it like they're adversaries. But really, these two are buddies and should be treated like such. They have different skills, which will make them useful for different situations, but you should most certainly make friends with both. Your writing will improve greatly if you do.

It's been a while since I've done one of these writing posts myself, but hopefully people find it useful! What's your favorite instance of telling and showing that you've written and/or read? And follow-up, what writing rule do you usually break?

#writing advice #unsolicited writing advice #ficwriting advice #ficwriting tips #writing tips #show don't tell #and why it's not so clear #hatred for the semicolon

[silenthillmutual]

37, 12, 18, 20

37. Does [insert fic title] have alternative scenes/missing scenes?

this did not come with a fic attached but i will go ahead and say that honey & venom does have some deleted scenes for the sake of a) keeping the chapters a certain length and b) keeping the rating pg-13. i also nearly took the ending in an entirely different direction.

12. Do you tend to write long or short chapters?

i had to actually stop and think about my multi-chapter works because my impulse was to say that i usually write short chapters because i mostly write one-shots, but when i actually thought about it? most of my multi-chapter works are long. the silent hill au, the childhood friends au, the ten year planned out fic, honey & venom - i think i tend to be long-winded. and now that i'm thinking of it maybe i'll make the burda family fic i'm working on be long just for the hell of it. 10k a chapter, why not.

18. Which writing 'rules' do you regularly break?

god. i don't even really know what rules there are for writing. i haven't read a lot of writing books - i mean, i have them, but i don't really read them. maybe i should. but uh... i regularly start sentences with words like "but" and "and" and "because", i end sentences with prepositions, i have run-on sentences if i think they accurately convey a character's thoughts, other little grammatical do's and don'ts. prose and poetry aren't meant to be academic so i'm not gonna waste my time on it.

20. How do you feel about punctuation?

i think it's very important! but not in a snobby way, i just need the punctuation to be able to parse what i'm reading. i don't really care about comma splices though, that's fine, because it can be difficult to determine where commas need to go. but my favorite bits of punctuation are semicolons and emdashes.

fic asks

#icarus.txt

[chemicalarospec]

Genuinely Don’t Say Anything Interesting Here But I Like Talking So Thus I’m Posting This

okay I did like nothing productive today but have a ramble on youtube fanbases, specifically the new gen of mcyt. This was two posts and then I made it one so sorry when I repeat myself. I did edit it tho lol. But that means I also inserted more, so this is just all over the place now. 

me from the future: oh god. all over the place. wait wtf this is so long. I don’t even have much to say I just like writing the same sentence three different ways and refusing to cut any of them. I’m sorry; I don’t know how to edit; this is informal AF. (can I use three semicolons? at least one of those is wrong anyways lol.)

edit: I’m so sorry I forgot about having a “read more” last night laksjdflksjad. Also idk if I even agree with myself lmao.

it’s so funny how mcyt is like The Thing now. It’s not cool to like it anymore lol, cuz everybody does. (This is a me thing. I like being special lol. I also self-define “cool” so you should not take it to heart when I say it’s not cool.)

I mean, just thinking about the Dream SMP as something I *do* want to get into, it doesn’t feel like “our thing” -- it’s has the feel of a HUGE fandom. Seriously, I’m in the phandom, which ngl has been dead since 2018, and the fanbase for the SMP has a much different, bigger feel. Idk what i’m getting at, it feels imposing? looking at the Dream SMP fandom seems similar in scope and slightly in atmosphere to pre-2019 phandom, at least to me, and it’s actually making me grateful that I joined now and not all that time ago.

Also I brought up the “our thing” bit because of the mcr post that goes “funny how MCR seems like our little secret and the biggest thing in the world at the same time” and I kinda thought that was just how all fandoms worked? idk I was going to assert that the truth is different but I thought some more and now I’m not sure.

but yeah I like the “our little secret” feel and somehow the phandom has (re)gained that while technoblade (and the new gen of mcyt as a whole) is loosing it.

I mean, I’ve been watching Technoblade since the bedwars winstreak. He had less than a millions subs but most people I brought him up to actually did know who he was. He was big but he wasn’t *famous* -- we all knew about him and we all cared. Like the only person who knew who he was and didn’t care had a little brother(s?) that loved him (wait why is this all in past tense this is all still true). (Yes AFC this has become a callout post for you mocking techno lol.) (If you’re still reading my miNeCRaFT yOuTuBeR fAnBaSe MEta. cringe culture is dead tho; I don’t have to say it like that.) 

Anyways, I didn’t follow Technoblade’s Dream SMP streams and now I feel like I’d just be tagging along if I did get into it. (also didn’t watch SMP Earth lol.) This is because I’m a gate-keeping jerk. Or hate missing out. One of those two things. 

(awkward transition where I don’t know how to make my tangent meaningful and have to make it back to the original train of thought I violently interrupted)

As a long time Techno fan, I’m really proud of the growth he’s experiencing, but a little sad too as the community is being -- well, I don’t want to say “infiltrated,” as I don’t want to shade anyone who was simply late to the party -- perhaps diluted? overwhelmed? yeah, overwhelmed by newer fans, and becoming “unmanageable” in a sense; it feels like we’ve lost a bit of our sense of community with the influx of new fans -- no shade to any new fans! This is just the way fandoms work. When the crowd is larger, it becomes harder recognize each member as a person, even if everything else is the same. (”The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic.”) (look this is how my brain works deal with it)

I just really like this small community feel, and it’s a bit daunting looking at the smp fandom. 

Also the growth Dream experienced this year is genuinely ludicrous. I mean, the wide appeal of shipping is part of it, not going to beat around that bush, but there’s just so much and I wanna read an essay from a long-time fan who saw it on why he’s got so much growth. 

I really hate to shame fans and stuff, but part of it, at least for me, is that most of these new fans probably aren’t “minecrafters” like we were. I doubt the majority of them grew up on Stampy, DanTDM, and whatever the other ones I didn’t watch were. I mean, some of this is because Child. For them, the distinction is really pre-quarantine post-quarantine i guess? Really, whether they played Minecraft or not. Again, I know it’s bad to shame fans, but apparently I’m just a terrible person and I feel like it’s more shallow or disingenuous to get into MCYT when it’s popular without already being into Minecraft. 

WAIT that’s it -- Minecraft community, as a whole, is special. It’s a LARGE umbrella of fandoms in general, but that’s the thing: they’re all more communities than fandoms -- from the casual builders to the pro parkour players to those who watched the og youtubers to those who followed the Great Potato War, there was Minecraft Culture. 

And the expanded fandom that’s sprung up around the Dream SMP and possibly Dream in general (???) is more of fandom. It feels like a fandom. People treat it like a fandom, they talk about it in fandom spaces, it is fandom, a modern fandom. Not a quaint “little” Minecraft community. 

I’m not going to say it’s because of the shipping, but... I have no data but at least I can say that it certainly creates an appeal for Fandom People as opposed to Minecraft People. And then also it’s just a fandom thing so it makes the space more fandom. 

Also I realized this is all based upon a feeling, so where did the feeling come from? I was reading in-fandom texts a lot today, and I think the storyline actually might have something to do with it. Also maybe the “talking behind their backs”? I can’t be bothered to remember what I’m comparing to what at this point but that’s definitely done in a lot of other spaces I’m in, so idk.

OH FRICK I’ve mostly been *in* the fandom spaces for real things lmao. (Read: I’m 100% making up everything at this point.) 

(awkward transition because I inserted the last two paragraphs later on)

And really, I played minecraft today for the first time in months. But it’s still with me, you know? The memories of being introduced to it, growing up with it. Going to the Nether with my cousins, my uncle’s giant survival mode cathedral. Mojang being bought by Microsoft and everybody hating it. (... me, my brother, my two friends, essentially... how did we even know??)

[I had part about the minecraft.net writers here but it was completely unrelated so it became it’s own post. I should do that more.]

(With every sentence the target audience of this post gets smaller.)

What was I saying? I’ll just wrap up. 

TL;DR: Dream SMP fandom feels like a fandom and not a Minecraft community and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I’ve realized I prefer a community feel, which makes me grateful I joined the phandom now. Also I shouldn’t be allowed to post things past 9:00pm. 

Oh my god I’m so sorry to all my mutrals. My tired loquacious reflex has kicked in. This is essentially a dan and phil stan blog, and though I know a few of you know what I’m going on about, I’m so sorry to the rest of you. 

Well, at least *I* think I’m a fascinating person with interesting things to say hahahahha. 

This is like a diary post. Should I post this? Yeah, other people should share my thoughts lol. OH NO: Late-night Tumblr fandom ramble posts are the new social-justice tirade/generally useless blog-like Goodreads reviews. At least it’s what Tumblr’s made for :P. 

#long post #VERY long post #not worth reading #minecraft youtuber references #mcyt new gen #okay i'm officaly transitionng 'minecraft youtuber references' to only be for the original gen #i.e. stampy + friends; dantdm; that's about it for me #which are in here so the tag stays #dream #dream smp #technoblade #minecraft #minecraft community #fandom #fandom meta #dream smp fandom #dsmp #<- if that's even the right thing #ooo the mama demo's playig! #using tumblr like a normal blog #I talk too much #I said this #my writing #ALL the tags #because they all have different meanigns!!!! #phandom #phandom meta #dream smp phandom meta #the phandom is a jar of clowns #<- is my offical phandom tag despite the COMPLETE lakcing of clowning here

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

got a fascination (with you)

chapter 1! @heavenly-roman

Summary: Roman has a Plan™ (its effectiveness is,, debatable) Warnings: self-deprecation, maybe some secondhand embarrassment, threatened fratricide (roman doesn’t really mean it), all caps in a few spots Wordcount: 3181

Step 1 - call him pet names ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you think, darling?” Roman turns to Janus for his opinion.

“Ihavetogo,” Janus says in a rush, before hurrying out of the room, face bright red. 

Roman grins to glowself—he’s flustered! Glo has a chance!—and turns back to Remus.

“I guess he doesn’t want to share what he thinks.”

“…What was that.”

“What was what?”

“‘Darling?’ Since when do you call Janus ‘darling’?”

“That is step one of my master plan to woo Janus,” Roman informs him haughtily. “I was gauging his interest.”

“Or making him so uncomfortable he had to leave.”

“Wait, you think so?” Looking back with that perspective, that could definitely be the case. Oh no, what if glo’d ruined glows chance by calling Janus a pet name when he didn’t like people calling him those? What if Janus was so agitated by it he didn’t want to be friends anymore? “Shoot.”

Roman pulls out glows phone and opens glows messages with Janus. ‘dude i am so sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. i just’

Roman looks up at Remus. “Quick, what do I tell him I did it for?”

“I don’t know, why are you asking me? You said I’d be terrible at wooing!”

“Remus!”

“I don’t know! Say you do it with your friends sometimes? Or tell him the truth.”

“Friend thing!” Roman crows, typing ‘use pet names on my friends sometimes? but i won’t for you, sorry again’ and sending it. “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver.”

“I think the truth was the better option,” Remus tells him snobbily.

“Everyone’s a critic.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was that?  “Darling??” Since when is Janus Roman’s darling???

Janus buries his face in his hands, keeping enough visibility that he can actually see where he’s going. He makes his way to the nearest bathroom and plops to the floor. He’s too gay to worry about germs or whatever else because Roman just called him darling.

Did that mean glo likes him back? Maybe? But surely Roman knew what glo was saying when glo called him darling, and Janus doubts glo just calls crushes darling without confessing first. That sounds like it has the potential to be incredibly awkward. But maybe glo does?

Or maybe there’s some explanation Janus had just forgotten about? Or an obvious answer that he’s just completely missed?

Roman had said it so casually. “Darling.” Like it was normal. (One part of Janus’s brain whispers what if it was normal and Janus can feel the blood rushing to his face.)

Janus’s phone dings and he pulls it out, hoping he can distract himself from the massive gay crisis he is having. No such luck, unfortunately.

‘dude i am so sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, i just use pet names on my friends sometimes? but i won’t for you, sorry again’

Oh. It was a friend thing. Roman didn’t mean anything by it.

Janus buries his face in his hands again, this time from embarrassment, and groans. Stupid, thinking Roman calling him darling meant anything. Although, who just calls their friends pet names randomly? That’s such a stupidly (endearingly) Roman thing to do.

Oh, he hasn’t answered Roman yet. He should do that.

Janus sits up and taps the screen so the little cursor and keyboard pop up. He thinks for a minute on how to spin his sudden departure as not very gay, then realizes Roman gave him an excuse. Wait, no, because then Roman’ll think he’s upset with glow or something because of it. Maybe he can pretend he had somewhere to be? Flimsy excuse, but he doesn’t want to leave Roman on read for longer to think of a better one and risk Roman thinking he’s mad at glow or something. The double “sorry” almost definitely means glo feels guilty for saying it.

‘it’s okay idm! I just remembered I had somewhere to be. sorry if I made you feel bad, you’re fine I promise ’

Janus rereads the message a few times, changing the exclamation point into a semicolon and rearranging the last bit so it reads ‘I promise you’re fine’ before sending it. There’s a pause of a few seconds where Janus stares at his screen, then a bouncing ellipsis appears for a moment before Roman replies ‘it’s okay!! gl with your thing!!’

Janus smiles at his screen, then puts a hand over his mouth to hide it. He’s so gone on Roman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Step 2 - see how he reacts to the idea of them dating ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Janus!” Roman calls, running up and skidding to a stop in front of him. “Hey.”

“Hi, Roman,” Janus says, smiling at glow, which glo takes as a good sign.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay?”

Shoot, Roman realizes, I am not going to be able to just ask how he’d feel about going on a date with me. What do I do now?

“Roman?” Janus does a little wave at glow. “You good?”

“Yeah!” Roman flashes him a grin.

“What’d you wanna ask me?” Janus prompts after another few moments of Roman frantically trying to make up an excuse.

“I, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Screw it. “I wanted to ask if you’d want to hang out with me sometime?” Roman winces at how squeaky glows voice got by the end of it.

“I mean, sure? Why do you sound so nervous, though? We’ve done that plenty of times before.”

Roman’s shoulders climb up near glows ears. “No, I mean like? Hanging out? One on one?” There’s a pause where Janus opens his mouth to speak and Roman realizes that glo isn’t sure glo wants to know what he’s going to say, so glo rushes out, “Oh look at the time I’ve gotta go sorry bye see ya!” and sprints off.

Roman runs outside, to glows car, and slides into the driver’s seat, letting glows head thunk against the top of the steering wheel. That certainly could’ve gone better.

It’s only after Roman’s started driving home that glo realizes glo’s finished the first two steps, which means past-Roman was too optimistic about glo’s ideas-ability and current-Roman has no clue what glo’s going to do next. 

“Besides wait to see if he unfriends me because of how weird I was acting, I guess,” glo mutters to glowself. Janus doesn’t seem like the type to do that, but if he pieces together that Roman likes him, gets uncomfortable, and decides to distance himself from Roman because of that? …That sounds like an unfortunately realistic scenario.

Roman sighs. There’s nothing to do now but wait and see how (or if) Janus reacts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Step 3 - ??? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janus looks at the fake potted plant across the hall from where he’s standing.

“Did that seem really weird to you too or is it just me?” he asks it, in lieu of an actual human being anywhere nearby to ask.

The plant, predictably, doesn’t reply, and Janus sighs.

He considers messaging Roman to ask what all that was about, but judging from how dodgy glo was in person, Janus doesn’t think he’s going to get a better answer through text.

Was Roman asking you on a date? his traitorous brain asks, and Janus scrunches up his nose and tells it to stop seeing things that aren’t there. He’s not going to let himself assume and then make a fool of himself when he turns out to be wrong, weirding out Roman and potentially losing glow as a friend in the process. 

Even if Roman’s anxiety levels did seem disproportionately high, glo’d only asked if they could hang out. They’d only hung out in groups before! They were still in the process of being comfortable around each other! Being nervous about hanging out with a friend you aren’t very close with yet is perfectly normal! If Janus’s brain could shut up about what if glo likes you back and it seemed kind of like glo might’ve been asking you on a date that would be great, thank you! He isn’t going to read too deeply into things and find some meaning that doesn’t actually exist, thank you very much!

…If this line of thought could stop sounding like he’s trying to convince himself of it, that would be great too, thanks.

Janus shakes his head to clear it and pulls out his phone, turning on some music to distract himself as he walks out to his car. He just needs to stop thinking about this for a bit, and then he can do something—ask Remus? Maybe? That sounds like a decent plan—about it later.

By the time Janus has driven home, the plan to ask Remus about it has solidified in his brain, so he goes inside and grabs an apple to snack on while he texts Remus.

‘hey’

‘Yooooooooo’ comes a few minutes later. Janus squints, counts the o’s, considers asking how Remus remembers the exact number of o’s he’s done each time so he can add one more every new conversation, then decides he doesn’t want to get into that.

‘has Roman been acting,, off? at all with you today?’

‘No why’

‘glo asked me if I wanted to hang out one on one then ran away before I could answer?? I was hoping you could tell me about that?’

‘SLDKJFSLDF glo DID??’

‘yes’

‘Omg this is too good,,,,, glo’s never living this down,,,,, tried to ask you out on a date and ran away before you could say yes KASNFKENFNSKFNE’

Wait. 

Date? Roman had been trying to ask him out on a date??

Wait.

Before he could say yes???

‘remus wth’

‘I can’t,,,,,,,,, as soon as glo gets home i’m gonna look at glow and burst into laughter,,,,,,, this is amazing,,,,,,’

‘remus wdym “before i could say yes”?? who’s to say that i would’ve agreed to a date??’

‘Would u have?”

‘i mean, glo asked if we could hang out. not go on a date’

‘Okay but you totally would’ve said yes either way’

Janus doesn’t respond, trying to figure out how to deny it without sounding like a complete liar. 

‘( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Your silence is condemning you fool’

‘...maybe,’ Janus finally acquiesces. ‘i admit to nothing.’ Then, because Janus is still very confused about this, ‘roman was trying to ask me out??’ Remus has been annoyingly unhelpful about answering that so far.

‘Kakandfdfas yeah’

‘i see’

‘Jdgsfskdfsdsjsjjsdj what’s that supposed to mean’

Janus leaves him on read, already plotting how to use this information to his advantage (and a little bit to spite him. Just because he can).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Virgil,” Roman groans. “I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah.”

“And Remus won’t stop laughing at me about it, thus forcing me—what do you mean ‘yeah?’ You’re supposed to be supporting me! I—you don’t even know what I’m complaining about yet!”

Virgil rolls his eyes. “Don’t need to know what you did to know you’re an idiot.” 

Roman scoffs offendedly. The disrespect! And after glo is trusting him enough to open up about glows problems!

“I don’t have to take this!”

“But you will.”

Roman hums, conflicted. Usually, glo would take Virgil’s mocking, giving just as good as glo got, but glo doesn’t really feel good enough about glowself at the moment. After embarrassing glowself in front of Janus, Roman’s ego is at an all time low, and Virgil isn’t helping.

Virgil pokes glow. “If it’s bothering you I can stop.”

“Tone it back a bit?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.”

“‘Course.” Virgil pokes glow again and Roman bats at his hand, but glo’s smiling now. “What’d you do this time, princex?”

Roman sighs and puts a hand to glows forehead dramatically, slumping back in glows seat. “It’s tragic! I’ve been humiliated and can no longer show my face around school.”

“I’m heartbroken,” Virgil deadpans. “What happened?”

“I asked—” Roman falters. This sounds… stupid. Glo asked Janus a question and then ran away before he could answer? Virgil’s probably going to laugh at glow. Roman would probably laugh if the situation was reversed. “You know what, nevermind.”

“No, what is it?” Virgil presses, smirking, but he drops it when he notices Roman’s expression. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I just... don’t really want to talk about this anymore,” Roman says, putting an elbow on the table so glo can cover glows mouth with glows hand as glo looks over at the wall.

“Okay,” Virgil agrees. “Is this ‘I’m scared of being vulnerable’ don’t want to talk or something else? Because if it’s the first thing then I promise not to laugh at you or judge you or anything.”

Roman wrinkles glows nose, considering. Still staring at the wall, glo says, “I was going to ask Janus out on a date, but I chickened out and asked him how he’d feel about ‘hanging out one on one’ or something stupid, and then chickened out again and ran away before he could answer. And now I think he’s probably figured out I like him and he’ll probably stop being friends with me because now it’s weird. So.” Glo gives a short, self-deprecating laugh. “Anyway, how’re you doing?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil says lightly after a moment. “My best friend was scared to tell me something, but glo opened up anyway, so I’m proud of glow and happy glo was comfortable enough to share that with me. And despite how anxious glo is about the situation, I think it’s gonna work out for glow.”

Roman looks over at him, asking softly, “I’m your best friend?” Glo’d figured, kind of, but it was the first time either of them had said it to each other.

“I mean, one of, but yeah. I don’t annoy just anyone; my anxiety’s way too high for that.”

“And your standards,” Roman jokes, pointing glows nose in the air.

“And my standards,” Virgil agrees, grinning.

“Well, I suppose, then, that I could concede that you’re my best friend too, and that I appreciate you saying all that,” Roman says primly, making eye contact with Virgil for a moment and smiling before glancing away nervously. “Do you really think it’ll work out?”

“Oh, yeah,” Virgil says, with much more confidence than Roman thinks he maybe should have. “Definitely.”

Roman squints. “I’m trusting you.”

“As you should.” Virgil sticks his nose up in the air in what Roman is certain is a mockery of glow earlier, and so of course glo reaches over and shoves him, laughing at the indignant squawk Virgil makes. From there it devolves into them hitting at each other, not hard enough to really hurt, and laughing so hard that for a while Roman forgets about Janus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Step 4 - profit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hey, Roman,” Janus calls, walking the last few steps over to glow. He wonders briefly if the roses are too much, but Roman’s already turned to look at him so he guesses it’s too late to try to subtly get rid of them or something.

Roman’s face does a thing, where it sort of… spasms? Just for a second, but it’s almost like a flash of fear before Roman’s grinning at him and Janus wonders if he’d imagined it.

“Hi, Janus!” glo chirps. “Whatcha got there?” Glo leans over to the side, trying to look behind Janus’s back.

“A gift,” he tells glow, “to, uh, try to— actually, yeah. Just a gift. For you.” Janus mentally facepalms. Remus said Roman likes him; he shouldn’t be so nervous about this!

“For me?” Roman’s eyebrows raise. “What’re you trying to do?”

“Um.” Janus gathers all his courage, pulling the roses out from behind his back and shoving them towards Roman as he says, “Ask you on a date?” It comes out sounding more like a question than he’d intended, and he squeezes his eyes shut, bracing.

Nothing happens, and after a few moments he opens one eye to peer nervously at Roman, who’s sitting there slack-jawed.

“Roman?” Janus asks, straightening up and letting his arms relax.

There’s a squeak.

“Are you okay?”

There’s another squeak, a lot of sputtering, and then finally glo echoes, “Date?”

“If you want to go on one?” Janus offers.

“You want to go on a date… with me?” Roman’s gaze is flickering between staring at the roses and looking up at him in bewilderment.

“I—yes?” This isn’t how Janus envisioned this going. “I like you romantically, you like me romantically, we go on a date and maybe more if we both enjoy ourselves? Does that sound right?”

Roman’s face, which had been steadily growing pinker as the conversation continued, now flames bright red, and glo buries glows face in glows hands.

“Who told you I like you?”

“Remus.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Janus can see Roman take a deep breath, shoulders rising and falling, and then glo looks up at him, face still fairly pink. “And then I’m going to go on a date with you, provided this isn’t your version of a joke or something, and then if it goes well then maybe I’ll resurrect him.”

“Sounds lovely.” Janus grins. “Maybe leave the fratricide until after the date so you don’t have to go through all the work of bringing him back to life?”

“Sure.”

Lacking any response, Janus holds the flowers back out to Roman. Glo takes them gingerly, tracing the edge of a petal and rubbing another one between glows fingers, lifting it up to sniff it and admiring the bouquet. Janus watches glow, a small smile creeping on his face at how enraptured Roman is by the flowers.

After a minute or two, Roman looks back up at him.

“Thank you,” glo says, hiding the bottom half of glows face behind the roses. “No one’s ever bought me flowers before; they’re beautiful.”

“Just like you,” Janus says before his brain can do any silly little things like consider the consequences and Not say stupidly sappy stuff. Roman’s face ducks further under the flowers, and Janus thinks he hears a squeak.

“Thank you,” glo repeats.

“You’re quite welcome, dear.” Janus tacks the pet name on as revenge for how flustered he’d been when Roman called him darling on impulse, curious to see how Roman reacts. Which is, apparently, to squeak more loudly and actually pull glows face up from the bouquet enough to glare weakly at him.

“Stoooooop,” glo complains. “I retract my agreement to date you.”

“Well, in that case, let me retract my roses.”

“No, they’re mine.” Roman clutches them closer against glows chest.

“Alright, then pay for them.”

Roman squints at him. “What’s the payment?”

Janus reaches out, gesturing towards glows hand. Roman stretches it out towards him slowly, watching for what he’s going to do. Janus takes it carefully, bending over it and looking up through his eyelashes at Roman.

“Is this okay?”

Roman nods, blushing, and Janus kisses glows hand, straightening up and smirking at glow. (And if he doesn’t release Roman’s hand, it’s surely just an oversight on his part.)

“Payment.”

“This is unfair,” Roman complains. “I had this whole plan to try and woo you and now you’re being mean and you stole my idea.”

“Well,” Janus says, squeezing glows hand a little. “I’d say your plan worked pretty well.”

Roman looks at their joined hands and squeezes back, then smiles up at Janus. 

“Yeah, I’d say so too.”

#virgil; poking his friends whenever the opportunity presents itself: is this a clear form of affection? #this is chapter 2 of 2 btw #i simply do not care to put a ~the end~ or anything at the bottom so y'all will get it in the tags #my fics #my writing #ts roman #ts janus #ts remus #ts virgil #nonbinary roman #roceit #platonic prinxiety #platonic dukeceit #creativitwins #sanders sides #y'all please know the lennie face is HIDEOUS in google docs and i'm so glad it looks alright here and on google docs