#mjao7

[mjao7]

body, water

Feet too secure, I throw my gaze overboard:

the river weeds are about to fall on their face

then the resin sets. Dusted with white down feathers

which could almost be flower petals.

I run my paddle along the surface

it shifts briefly to humour me, then returns to being art.

 

I look ahead and the sky stretches its self-portrait across the ripples,

leaves it to set and crinkle

until there is nothing underneath,

nothing to touch, to reach for.

As I drift downstream, dust collects on dry paint—

no, swan feathers.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[poetryriot]

“I am the Brightest of Black and White” (A Poetry Riot Chain Collaboration)

I bargained with a crossroads devil and gave her my blood and soul for your smile ---- then an intern diablo with her funny bone intact set your smile upon my face, oh man that was whack  I shut my eyes to hide from her delight, her light, it was the richest shade of black but I am more, I am our world's lack of color - and we never go out, never go out, never go out hips flicker, I am candle-fire girl spit fire with my toes and I'm reduced to all my pieces blazing to life in ecstatic voyage into dark and light neither star nor black hole I’m something in between I'm a neutron star, 50 shades of grey, and a penumbras shadow A dichotomy dancing in ethereal light fireflies decimating the darkness, fading starlight caresses my soul A lunar lullaby trickles through the night, and a bell tolls. It takes its toll. Is it a death knell or a peal of delight? Mourning for morning but dancing with gold my substance shimmers across a bridge of light dissolving the empty divide, certain of its brightness I know I have always been somewhat celestial. But I doubted the curve of muscular stars in my chest. Let them burn out; fade away in the eternal night till everything inside of me only speaks of darkness. And because of darkness I will shine and show what the light had blocked before These are all my truths unhidden This is me with shadows tamed And to all the peers on the spectrum The unrivaled has been claimed. 

________

Each participant contributed the lines as follows: “I bargained with a crossroads devil / and gave her my blood and soul for your smile ----- @foreveratlas

“then an intern diablo with her funny bone intact / set your smile upon my face, oh man that was whack” --- @madeofsaltwater

“I shut my eyes to hide from her delight /her light, it was the richest shade of black” --- @inkandpins

“but I am more, I am our world's lack of color - / and we never go out, never go out, never go out ---- @cruxymox

“hips flicker, I am candle-fire girl / spit fire with my toes” --- @thegirlwritesthings

“and I'm reduced to all my pieces blazing to life / in ecstatic voyage into dark and light” - @stripedgriffin

“neither star nor black hole/ i'm something in between” --- @lilithnoah  

“ I'm a neutron star, 50 shades of grey/ And a penumbras shadow.” --- @arlenelperez

“ A dichotomy dancing in ethereal light/fireflies decimating the darkness, fading starlight caresses my soul” --- @hazeybluesoul

“ A lunar lullaby trickles through the night,/and a bell tolls. It takes its toll. “ ---@mjao7

“Is it a death knell or a peal of delight? Mourning for morning but dancing with gold” --- @stillnotwritingtolstoy

“My substance shimmers across a bridge of light / dissolving the empty divide, certain of its brightness” --- @lzlabs

“I know I have always been somewhat celestial. But / I doubted the curve of muscular stars in my chest.” --- @forestandgalaxy

“Let them burn out; fade away in the eternal night / Till everything inside of me only speaks of darkness.” --- @just-poetic-thoughts

“And because of darkness I will shine/ And show what the light had blocked before” --- @secretlyanonymouspoems

“These are all my truths unhidden / This is me with shadows tamed” --- @september-stardust

“And to all the peers on the spectrum: The unrivaled has been claimed.” --- @cosupreme

______________

Thank you to everyone that participated in this. It was a lot of fun to read it as the line came in. I think it turned out splendidly!

Thanks again!

S. 

#poetryriotchaincollaboration #poetry #writers on tumblr #collaboration #poetryriot

[writtenworkshop]

Mjao7 Poetry Critique

cool yellows

The sky is the coldest blue. It cracks open to reveal the coldest white—

Closes without scars. Ironic, how the blue and white are so cold

when they burn the hottest flames. I need some warmth now.

When the rain passes under the hunched streetlamp,

it cries tears of molten gold. I need some warmth now,

and the unflickering heat of lightbulbs seems an unbreakable promise. 

But I’ve seen the congregation of a hundred winged insects 

circling under pure light on rainy nights. I’ve seen

their corpses in the morning under their deity. Off.

There are no insects tonight. I lean on my cold window and stare.

@mjao7

_____

@reinventing-wednesday response:

I have always been fascinated with insects being attracted to light. I like the line about their corpses (that sounds morbid, but oh well). I really liked this part of the poem, I would like to see that part expanded somehow. Maybe it could be the overall theme of this piece. 

The use of coldest and cold multiple times threw me off. Try finding a synonym or another way of expressing the cold you want the reader to feel and understand. You could even remove it from some of the lines and it would read better. I would suggest the same for the colors used. It’s hard to keep track of the image when the colors shift so quickly, sometimes that shift happens within the same line. 

Take a look at your line breaks for this. Some of them end awkwardly, causing me to pause in a place that feels unnatural. Reading what you’ve written out loud can help iron them out. I would also remove the word “Off” on the second to last line. It hangs there without serving any real purpose to the line before or after it. If you choose to keep it, add to it so that it fits better. 

Thank you for submitting, keep on writing!

@renegadegirl13 response:

I'm on vacation, but I couldn't resist a quick peek. This is not a full critique. I agree with reinventing Wednesday on the use of cold and coldest, as well as the colors. You could even dispense with the entire first part and start at "When the rain passes..."

@foreveratlas response:

The imagery of the insects really drives home this idea of inevitability. How you describe them with the word "congregation" really puts a sense of question toward organized religion in a way. I'm not sure if that was the underlying theme you were going for, but bravo.

I agree with Renegadegirl13, your poem doesn't really start until "When the rain passes." To be honest, that could even be the title. You have a lot of use of colors and modifiers in this, and like what Reinventing-Wednesday has mentioned, you repeat yourself multiple times. Light, bulbs, and death may have a theme here, but you definitely have a far greater array of words to choose from other than Cool, Cold, Colder, and Coldest.

You have a repetition of, "I need some warmth now," but I don't quite know what drives you to be warm. You've got a solid line here and it could even lead itself to being a turning point to bring this poem into emotional context. But unfortunately, as a reader, the only thing the line departs with me is that the speaker is cold, which sort of contradicts the modifiers of how warm these lights are in some lines. I'm not sure the intention is clear when you go back and forth from cold modifiers to warm modifiers.

You've got the makings of a solid piece here and I think with some tweaking it could be really worth the time and effort. Thank you so much for submitting to us.

#submission #poetry #critique #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #poetry critique

[epea-pteroenta]

Inanotherdirection 2017A, the players thus far

I’ll go first, and then we’ll try to stick to this order: @hereticalwritings @lzlabs @quaintobsessions @reinventing-wednesday @diffusedmuse @retarded-teddybear @absolutely-and-always13 @ajttk @trixclibrarian @ellenya @nosorryforyou @redearth-blueskies @mikeyj529 @bcourchaine @street-heart-posts @bipedal-trashbag @maya-doolali @mjao7 @teacup13 @accountant-pirate-dufresne @ambroseharte @incexual

Yes, I actually drew the names out of a hat. Anyone who joins from here on will add at the end. Tell your friends! Come on. All the coool kids are doing it… The posts will go up at @inanotherdirection Any questions can be sent to me, Quentin, @epea-pteroenta I’ll try to get the first one up tomorrow, and then we’ll see what happens.

#inanotherdirection #collabs #community #crazy ideas

[smittenbypoetry]

Promptlyrefined: week 12 (recap)

What a delightful week of poetry, you guys really outdid yourself. I’m not even going to bother to pick the weekly best because you’re all winners in my book. Besides, it was supposed to be just a little game for some poetic fun. Some of you have mentioned how it got you out of a slump, and maybe there’ve also been some bloggers partaking that normally wouldn’t write poetry who now tried it. Either way I am over the moon. And I know at least one person who’d adore seeing this many pomegranate mentions. Without further ado, this week’s poets in order of appearance: 

@mrsninac-blog (poem) @wanderinginaseaofwords (poem) @wordslifeandthings (poem) @dustseeker (poem) @electricarmchair (poem) @rachtiouspalmer (poem) @elementalalchemist (poem) @mjao7 (poem) @waadtariq (poem) @thespiandrummer (poem) @kixxie (poem) @heartofmuse (poem) @louinspace (poem) @poetbitesback (poem) @cruxymox (poem) @juxtapos-ition (poem) @lzlabs (poem) @drearydaffodil (poem) @seagulls-den (poem) @hangingoninquietdesparation (poem) @quietdissidentlyricist (poem) @gracebabcockwrites (poem) @irlloveletters (poem) @warxpunkxmonk (poem) @journalidiot (poem) @mysublimejourney (poem) @thewanderingsaylor (poem) @jasongrabowski (poem) @mleighsquickspot (poem) @autumnsunshine10 (poem) @avolitorial (poem) @fakesurprise (poem) @sweet-poesy (poem) @thewanderingsaylor (poem)

Thank you all for participating! There will be another poetry game in a couple of weeks (I like to change up things), but I certainly won’t wait as long as I did between this one and the last one. 

#recap 12 #promptlyrefined #recap

[mjao7]

ghazal in green

I wake up unjealous and go to bed green.

my days could be rose-gold but they’re instead green

 

like screens made to be replaced. I do wonder

if that’s why in my youth I was force-fed greens.

 

wings raku-fired, I was but a grasshopper

so when my friends bit off my head I bled green

 

I grew back into a Goliath beetle,

wings azure and lilac and an unsaid green.

 

through one thousand lenses I saw the whole world,

tried to tell someone but my brother’s red-green

 

colourblind. and yes, I too have the gene but

it’s quiet. I know that I died bleeding green.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[mjao7]

friend

Every time I go to the bathroom, I see her open door,

the big window which trades warmth

for the ocean-wave-roars of passing cars.

 

I see the naked mattress

and empty drawers.

 

I stand there for the two hours I would have talked to her

and a baby stroller chatters across the street in reply.

‎ 

I turn up the water pressure so she’ll hear I’m showering

then turn it down in case she’s sleeping.

 

There will be no footsteps quickening into a morning run to wake me up

so my eyes open in the middle of the night and I set an alarm

to lay in bed for an hour, my mind chasing someone between train stations,

(their luggage catches on the cobblestone)

then get up to walk to the bathroom.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[mjao7]

the reformed historian

It always feels like a mistake to leave your hometown

no matter how bored you are with the patterns in the clouds.

Or how careful you were to not walk around too much

lest your footsteps pierce roots into the sidewalk.

⠀

Driving to the airport, there’s the bright yellow signage of your neighbourhood restaurant

the uphill road to your old school

but soon any carcasses stinking of the past give way to palm tree plantations and the open highway

and you can’t think over the screaming of the rain and the roaring of the cars.

(Even you aren’t narcissistic enough to think they’re cursing your name.)

⠀

Still, it feels like a mistake.

No matter how lightly you walk, there will be cracks in the sidewalk

to drop keys, coins, souvenir t-shirts down.

Face pressed to the concrete, you launch a rescue effort

then give up and go home.

(Aren’t you already home?)

See them the next day after the nightly storm,

engorged with water, no longer yours.

⠀

Where is your legion of flies?

Where is your blanket of moss?

An ahistorical person who has taken refuge in a miasma of memories

but steps out, smelling of nothing.

#spilled poetry #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #mjao7 #writerscreed

[mjao7]

canterbury cathedral

The Sun skewered on cathedral spires. It’s sliding down

clouds soaking up the blood, wind spinning around to dry them,

cobblestones threatening to pull away from my feet.

⠀

Passing by students, tourists and funeral processions,

I don’t breathe until I’m out of earshot.

Yes, I’ll believe in all the ghost stories,

if it means I have someone to walk the dark corridors with.

⠀

I’ll tell you things. I hope you think they’re my secrets.

I’ll never say what I think as I walk past

the cathedral, gold in floodlights.

⠀

I have the right to be buried here.

I’ll return in the morning, wearing white.

#spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #mjao7

[mjao7]

city girl

cars churn water. lightning,

street lights. reflected in black glass,

I have no face.

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[mjao7]

the dulling of the knife

If I fall in the forest and there’s no one around to hear it

do I still have to wake up tomorrow?

⠀

If I cut a limb off a tree and shave its skin off

until it looks like the legs of my childhood bed

will the grass even care?

⠀

Do the leaves mind when I tear them up and grind their juices out with a rock

and strain the green liquid through my favourite t-shirt

and use the green ink to write the same song again

about the same branches, same leaves, same

1 metre gap between the trees,

pitches scrawled on my left arm and lyrics dripping down my right

then pouring out of my mouth

⠀

I don’t need an applause.

When I fall in the forest, I'm around to hear it.

Is it me who falls?

#a poem about losing the ability to write #spilled ink #spilled words #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #mjao7 #writerscreed

[mjao7]

monsoon

Mint-mouthwash-rain. The roof gurgles and spits.

Concrete walls for an asphalt sink.

And when it stops to gasp for air, you can hear the weather. But the whims of the clouds become TV static when you can feel your hands, when you don’t have to pull a hood over your head as it becomes bloated with wind or snap the bones of your umbrella back into position.

The roof must be clean now. There’s only an occasional tap on the window. Any time a daydream becomes too sunlit, a knock on the glass brings the water back.

#spilled ink #writers on tumblr #prose poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[mjao7]

half past four

The sun is down, so I will bathe in the tolling of the cathedral bell,

the dull rev of an engine dissolving like salt water in sand,

the fan spinning in my computer like soap down a drain.

⠀

I will soak and I will sink. Enough egg-beater kicks

towards remembering a sky bleeding gold then hell,

chasing the luggage wheels chattering across the cobblestone,

knowing whether the red light in my neighbour’s window calls my name.

⠀

I do not float. I will not float. I will be clean.

#writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #mjao7

[mjao7]

unnatural minor

poking needles into every windowsill of my brain

and sure, the birds stop building nests

but don’t explode into feathers into barbs

they circle around my skull singing

a lament in aeolian mode

no raised 7th rising up to home

a minor key without conviction

a dirge when no one has died

grieving for grief over grief that grieves

in on itself. knock on it:

hollow. throw it—

one bounce. poke a needle in?

swallowed whole.

#writerscreedchallenge #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #mjao7

[mjao7]

why does the heart keep beating when

why do the streetlights burn for empty roads?

why do the billboards dance to no applause?

why do the sirens scream when there are no seas of wheels to part?

 

why does the tall grass move when there are no feet to feed on?

why do the trees send out roots to slither across the soil

 when there is no one to trip?

why do the cempedak ripen when their fate is the ground

 where they will face an eternity as prometheus, the air an eager eagle,

 instead of the merciful guillotine of human teeth?

 

why does the moon shine when there is nothing to stay up for?

why does the sun rise when there is nothing to wake up for?

why do the stars draw prophecies in the sky when there is no future

 but the same day again and again and

//napowrimo.24

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #napowrimo #mjao7

[mjao7]

ritual

we recite

“I love you”

each prayer

 

adds a pinch

to the salt

ring circling

 

us. if we

stopped, the wind

would whirl white

//napowrimo.29

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #spilled poetry #writerscreed #napowrimo #mjao7