Thoughts on Kiro's R&S: Parameter Error
"The music video told the story of a young man who sent his love to the ideal place while he himself waited in the dark."
"Love could make errors occur in otherwise stable parameters, but it was love that gave him the courage to open the door."
"...'Cause I'm the steadfast tin soldier under the tower; 'Cause love is the key that unlocks everything."
So, was no one going to warn me on how badly I was gonna bawl my eyes out after reading this Rumors and Secrets? To tell me how emotionally deep this was gonna cut? Another reason I hate PG for putting this stuff in R&S (ಥ﹏ಥ)
After I was done reading this, it felt as if my heart had shattered to a million tiny little pieces, as well as grow three sizes at the same time. I've always known Kiro was extremely selfless and forbearing, despite the harsh past he's been through, but the way they brought it out in this R&S? It made me an emotional mess.
Apparently, this R&S explains a lot of what Kiro's been doing behind the scenes. It had a little bit of everything thrown in. From Kiro's past, to his relationship with Key, his feelings for MC, as well as a bit of insight into his role in the story.
Also, the character development is so obvious.
"In his hands was a computer with a flashing red light, which was the "key" handed to him by his master just now.
This key could open the most important "door" in the world, which would inevitably be coveted. That was why he could trust no one. Only judgment as accurate as machines could guide everything to the right path.
Kiro gripped onto the computer, with the last words of his master echoing in his mind.
-We shall stand in darkness as we defend the light."
-R&S: Parameter Error
In terms of plot, this R&S contains the retelling of the events that occurred in the Behind the Curtains chapter 0-3 and main story Chapter 8, but told from Kiro's perspective.
In the Behind the Curtains plot, Key gives Kiro the "key" to unlocking an important "door" that many people wanted passage to, such as Uncle John.
John: Quickly! Give me the passage key!
?? (Helios): How did you know about that?
An undisguised look of ferocity appeared in his eyes.
John: Discovering that took me 20 years time, but luckily it wasn't too late. No matter what Hades or Ares could do, it is I who will have the last laugh!
-S1 Chapter 17: Beyond Oblivion
This key could be the key to the Black Cabin, but the thing is that it was never explicitly stated. All we know was that this "key" was used to open a very important "door." A door that Kiro had opened only once in order to bring back MC from the Eternal Winter World. And this where I draw my conclusion:
Kiro has never "abandoned" MC.
In Kiro’s Box World: Hidden Action, he was half beaten to death because he helped MC escape at the TV Tower, in his R&S: Snooper, he helped MC in the shadows by getting rid of people who were targeting her life, in his R&S: Night Watchman and R&S: Parameter Error, he helped MC come back to the OG World by opening a door that almost crushed his soul.
He may not be physically present with her, but he’s always been supporting her from the shadows, where no one could see. After all, if it wasn't for him, she would have never even made it back to the OG World.
And he almost died doing it.
We caught a glimpse of it in his R&S: Night Watchman, and was again reinforced in this one. Just... more painfully (ಥ﹏ಥ)
??: This code is the key to opening all doors.
??: You must use it to open a door, and see an important person.
The string of code seemed to be a signal. The figure composed of digits started to float away, and the electronic voice started to flicker and fade from the computer.
??: After this code disappears, you will be this world's last key... You must remember the key's mission...
Even from the emotionless, synthesized voice, Kiro could hear that this was goodbye. He tried to get him to stay.
The digits forming that silhouette were all but faded. His final words came through hazily, yet incredibly determined.
??: Kiro, you must remember. We shall stand in darkness as we defend the light.
-Behind the Curtain 0-3
"He lowered his head and pressed his lips gently to the girl's hair. He whispered a promise in her ear even though she couldn't hear him:
"Don't worry. I've hidden the key. The gates will only open for you."
Kiro had already braced himself when he received the code, but the side effects of Key were much more severe than expected.
In order to save the girl out of the endless winter, he had opened the door once-only once, and it nearly broke him.
A tremendous amount of information poured into his body like a torrent. Every inch of his bones was wailing in agony, as if his body would be crushed the next second.
Scenes flashed before Kiro's eyes, as if he had become one with the information. Each code warned him of parameter errors that required an immediate end to the operation.
Kiro fell on one knee as his legs buckled."
-R&S: Parameter Error
Becoming the key itself meant that Kiro's body was subjected to excruciating pain every time the so-called "door" was opened. Which was why he had never dared to use that key before. Only MC had the privilege of using it. He was willing to go through that torturous pain only for her.
And so, to bring her back, he opened the door.
Honestly, Kiro's soul probably would've broken right there and then when he did it.
But, like a miracle, he soon felt MC's presence.
"At the moment when he was about to lose his consciousness, a pair of hands seemed to reach out to hold him tight - these hands were delicate and soft, which he held numerous times when facing crises and sharing joys together.
The moment Kiro uttered the name, he gained the strength to fight against this torrent. He pulled himself up from the ground. The scene in his eyes began to fade, and he was back in his room.
Kiro looked at the screen panting heavily. The progress bar on the screen was now full.
The door had been opened. She was back."
-R&S: Parameter Error
Their souls touched and embraced, and so, Kiro got the strength to survive.
Honestly, this makes the angsty reunion he and MC got in Chapter 28 even more heartaching. Somewhere behind the scenes, where no one could see, this boy almost lost his life bringing his beloved back to the OG World, but she never knew. No one knew. So his pain went by unnoticed.
It makes sense because Kiro has always hid his suffering from MC, but it still hurts :'(
It was only with Kiro when Key would turn from his quiet self and reveal his true nature. It was also precisely this which made Kiro feel as if his master never disappeared. That silver-haired man still lived on in the codes. He must be waiting to meet him somewhere.
-R&S: Parameter Error
Key is still very much a mystery, but I love how they gave us a little more insight on him, and his relationship with Kiro.
Apparently, Kiro was the only one Key trusted enough to put his walls down around him like that. It was with him that Key was free to be himself, just like how MC is for Kiro. And now I know where Kiro acquired his mischievous streak from HAHA.
Aside from that, the other thing that I wanna talk about is the story that Kiro narrates to some children within this R&S.
He tells a story of a young boy who was best friends with an elf girl, and the young boy had an incredibly pure love for the girl.
But then the boy found out that the girl would have to eventually leave him because she couldn't stay on the earth for too long and so he grew incredibly sad.
Not wanting to separate from the girl he travelled to the depths of a forest to seek help from a powerful wizard.
Sadly, even though the wizard was the most powerful in the world, he couldn't make the girl stay. But to reward the boy for his courage, he gave him a magic key that could open the door to the elves' world.
Sounds familiar, right? There are some specific details that cannot be explained at the moment, but might be alluding to something, such as the "elves' world" (this may or may not be a reference to the "New World" that is often brought up in the main story and Kiro's R&S), but for the most part, this is pretty much a parody of Kiro and MC's story.
MC was the elf girl, Kiro was the young boy, and the powerful wizard seems to be Key. But what has me concerned was how Kiro ended the tale.
When one of the children asked if the boy could visit the elf girl since he had the key to their world, all Kiro did was smile and agree that it would be nice if that were possible :(
So were the boy and the girl eternally separated?
Unfortunately, we never come to know how the tale ends.
"The music video told the story of a young man who sent his love to the ideal place while he himself waited in the dark."
-R&S: Parameter Error
Kiro: But what he wants most is for you to be a fairy, free of all cares.
Kiro: Not getting hurt, not getting worried, whose only responsibility is receiving signals of joy and happiness.
-S1 Chapter 28: Apocalypse Park
Kiro: Don’t feel bad.
Kiro: You're... the girl I want to always be happy, my Miss Chips.
-S1 Chapter 36: Final Battle Kiro's Route
The very next day after narrating the story, Kiro's new single gets released, titled "Key in Fairytale."
The music video for this song told the story of a young man who sent his beloved to the best place while he himself waited in the dark. It was a sad story that portrayed a boy's selfishly selfless love for his beloved. And the most popular lines in that song were...
"...'Cause I'm the steadfast tin soldier under the tower; 'Cause love is the key that unlocks everything."
These words may seem simple at first, but the depth behind them was enormous. And remember, these were lyrics written by Kiro himself.
I'll be dividing this into two parts.
PART 1: "...'Cause I'm the steadfast tin soldier under the tower."
"The Steadfast Tin Soldier" was a story written by Danish author Hans Christian Anderson and told the story of a tin soldier's love for a paper ballerina.
For his birthday, a boy received a set of 25 tin soldiers. Our protagonist, the tin soldier, doesn't end up with a happy start to his life. You see, he was different from the other soldiers in the set because he was missing a leg. He had been the last one to be cast and there had not been enough tin to make him whole.
Kiro was autistic when he was a child. He was also an orphan so he didn't know who he was. He was very much incomplete ever since he was born. And hence, why he identifies himself in that tin soldier.
But that's not the only reason.
Despite, his weakness, the tin soldier "stood as firm and steadfast on his one leg as the others did on their two." This is evident in how, despite Kiro's many insecurities and weaknesses, he has never given up and has always walked firmly on the path that he believed in. To “stand in darkness as he defended the light.”
The tin soldier fell in love at first sight with a paper ballerina who he found to be a kindred spirit because they both stood on one leg. It's similar to how Kiro fell in love with MC the moment he laid eyes on her at the orphanage.
But this is where things start taking an ugly turn for the tin soldier.
After the tin soldier gets pushed out of the windowsill by a jealous jack-in-the-box who also loved the paper ballerina, he ends up on the street. Two boys find the soldier, place him in a paper boat, and set him sailing in the gutter. The boat and its passenger wash into a storm drain, where a rat demands the soldier pay a toll.
Despite the trauma from all of this, "The poor tin soldier stood as steady as ever, he did not flinch," just as Kiro faced every danger head on, no matter how broken, scared or terrified he was. For example:
“That man’s hands were hung high up, scars running like winding pythons on his arms. He fell upon his knees, his messy clothes getting full dark red bloodstains. He kept still, looking as if dead or in a sound sleep, totally integrated into the darkness. Kiro didn’t move until a gun reached his gold hair. He looked up silently, without any fear in his eyes.
With the sound of a “Crack”, the gun was loaded.
“Why did you help her?” The masked man uttered coldly again, “Answer me, traitor.”
Keeping silent, Kiro cocked his head to let the dark muzzle aim at him between his eyebrows. He looked at the man in front, seemingly with no fear of him, no fear of guns, and no fear of death.”
-Kiro’s Box World: Hidden Action
I highlighted the word “seemingly” because it tells us that it only appeared as if Kiro wasn’t scared of death. In truth, he really was scared, but he couldn’t show weakness since those people could use it against him. Not to mention how his hands trembled and the paleness of his face when he separated from MC up on the rooftop. I mean, it’s only natural to be afraid of death. Kiro wasn’t suicidal. He NEVER gave up on life, even as a child subjected to experiments. He was self-sacrificial, but he wasn’t suicidal.
Anyways, back to the story.
Sailing on, the boat was washed into a canal, where the tin soldier was swallowed by a fish. When this fish is caught and cut open, the tin soldier finds himself once again on the table top before the ballerina. When he sees that she's still standing there after all his time away, "he almost cried tin tears—and would have, had it not been so undignified," reflecting how Kiro too is unwilling to show weakness in front of others, silently repressing his longing and loneliness. Bian Jiang, his CN voice actor, puts it really well:
“He’s very manly. He never reveals his tiredness or negative sides in front of MC. He carries gargantuan matters by himself. But this really causes one’s heart to ache.”
-Bian Jiang, Kiro’s Official Artbook
“We understand Kiro. He’s someone who will pretend that there’s nothing bothering him when he faces difficulties. He isn’t willing to show his weaknesses either. Because of this, I hope you can understand him more, and empathise with him.”
-Bian Jiang, CN Qixi Greeting
You know why you only got a text from Kiro saying "Welcome back ^^" after the pain he went through getting you back from the Eternal Winter World?
This is the reason why.
During that whole reunion, all of his true feelings were suppressed. Not because he couldn’t bring himself to be weak, but because he felt he needed to be strong.
As for the tin soldier, tragedy didn't end there, but this is the most beautiful part of the tale.
Right after reuniting with his beloved ballerina, a boy chucks the soldier into the stove, and it's the end for him. His paint begins to melt off, and he knows he won't last long. However, he maintains eye contact with the ballerina even during his final moments: "He could feel that he was melting; but he held on as steadfastly as ever to his gun and kept his gaze on the little ballerina in front of the castle."
However, a wind blew the ballerina into the fire with him and they perished together. And when the maid came over to clean the stove, she found something.
It was a little tin heart.
Nothing of the tin soldier remained, except a symbol of his unyielding love for the paper ballerina.
This is Kiro.
A boy whose life was plundered by fate since the day he was born, whose body was torn and ravaged by darkness and evil. A boy who stood brave in the face of adversity, and never gave up, no matter what was thrown his way.
And whose heart beat steadily, steadfastly and passionately for only a single girl.
Even when he was burning in a pit of fire, his body covered in wounds, constantly being subjected to pain and despair... he would still become a little bear to heal her, sing her songs to comfort her and even smile for her to give her hope and strength.
"'Cause he was the steadfast tin soldier under the tower."
"The boy now stood in front of the door with the key from the wizard weighing down his pocket.
He would not hesitate anymore.
Love could make errors occur in otherwise stable parameters, but it was love that gave him the courage to open the door.
A screen popped up in front of him, with an electronic voice asking him to enter the key.
The man’s lips raised slightly as he deftly entered a string of words:
For My Queen."
-R&S: Parameter Error
MC: I was saying, I’m not worried, because even if you go to another world, I’ll find you, just like you found me.
Kiro was a bit stunned, and a strange light swirled in his limpid eyes, making it difficult for me to discern his emotions.
Kiro: Alright, but I won’t hold you to that.
-S1 Chapter 36: Final Battle
Kiro: For the sake of her smile, I keep thinking there are some things I should just shoulder alone.
-3rd Anniversary Interview
Part 2: “’Cause love is the key that unlocks everything.”
This statement goes hand-in-hand with what I said earlier. Kiro’s love is selfless, almost selfishly so. He doesn’t care about what happens to him, as long as his Miss Chips was safe and happy. The reason he could endure the darkness and bear all the pain by himself was because his love for MC was what gave him courage to carry on.
That was why he could open that door and bring her back. It wasn’t the key that opened that door, it was Kiro’s love for her. After all, if he hadn’t had the courage to open that door in the first place, MC would have never made it back to the OG world.
Drawing back to the story Kiro told the kids earlier, both that and the MV titled “The Fairytale Key” delivered the same message: “We shall stand in darkness as we defend the light.” Kiro would keep MC safe even if that meant forever being trapped in darkness himself.
Kiro: Yeah... that illness changed my perspective a lot. I accept fate, but I still try to change it.
Kiro: More and more, I clearly know what I want.
Kiro: Actually, my real goal is...
Kiro: You know what, I can’t tell you yet. You’ll know one day.
-Kiro’s Phone Call: Unsolved Mysteries
That being said, that’s not how Kiro wants their story to end. If him being trapped in darkness while MC was in the light was their fate, he would accept that. But at the same time, he’s also determined to change it, if possible.
This is why his parting with MC at the end of S1 becomes so meaningful and sad. The beloved girl left for the ideal place, while Kiro himself remained behind. But that’s not how things temporarily end for them. After MC leaves, Kiro turns into Helios and goes off somewhere.
Kiro knew what MC was going to do, and what would happen to him. He knew he was going to forget her after she turned back time, and he was scared. He was scared of the fact that they may not be able to meet again, because Kiro’s not willing to leave everything up to fate. He wanted to write his destiny himself.
It draws back to something he said in S1 Chapter 19:
MC: So you believe in things being “ordained by fate” like most little girls do?
Kiro: Yes, but I only believe the “first encounters are arranged by fate” part. Whether you meet again, that’s up to you.
-S1 Chapter 19: Pure White Winter
That’s why when they parted, Kiro promised MC the she “will see him again.” Because even if she couldn’t find him, he would make sure that at least he found her.
“At that point, he suddenly realized that a pawn was awaiting orders. He paused midsentence and stared at the young man at the bottom of the stairs.
3684 was no longer a weak orphan. As a successful experiment in the B.S project, he was a rising star in the outside world. Yet, this blonde young man maintained a meek posture before them, as if he was deaf to their discussion.”
-R&S: Parameter Error
““And how do you know that you yourself are not affected by my Evol?”
Shocked by these words, the man hurriedly turned around to look toward Kiro. Seeing the straight back of this golden-haired boy, he suddenly had an inkling that their ‘experimental subject’ might be slipping out of their control. But then he quickly decided that he was overthinking it and snorted:
“A puppet is always a puppet.”
As if catching the man’s muttering far behind him, Kiro slightly lifted a corner of his mouth in a smirk.”
-R&S: Thriving in the Sun
“After numerous twists and turns, no one would have foreseen that the pawn would one day become the final chess player who would lead them back on track towards Black Swan’s ultimate goal.”
-R&S: Parameter Error
The last thing I want to talk about is Kiro’s growth. This boy has had one of the most beautiful and significant character progressions that I’ve seen in any piece of literature so far. And even now, he’s still growing.
In order to fulfill the mission his master gave him, he climbed up the ranks of B.S. with his own power. He overthrew the previous leader, and established control over Black Swan.
This R&S really showed how Kiro went from being a pawn (an autistic patient, a top experimental product, a puppet made to dance to the tune of those in the organization) to becoming the player, i.e. the one who called the shots. The members of B.S. underestimated him, and he proved them wrong. He didn’t just become the most powerful piece on the chess board, he became the chess player itself. And he did it ALL by himself. I’m so proud of him :’D
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[CN] Victor's Mind Quest: Uncontrollable Factors (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning:⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date that is yet to be released in the global server. Don't continue under the cut if you don't wish to be spoiled!(◍•ᴗ•◍)
✧ NOTE ✧
The exclusive radio that comes before the date has already been translated and posted by the lovely @itaruchi-trash . Please check that out before continuing under the cut: HERE! ♡
✧ [ SECTION 1 ] ✧
Teacher: Teacher MC, good morning.
MC: Teacher Chen, good morning~
I smile and nod in response, clutching the teaching materials in my arms as I continue to walk towards the classroom.
Recently a university invited me to serve as an external teacher at the school, under my identity of a film and television producer––
To teach a month long elective course on film and television production, for students who have just entered the first-year.
Even though only half a month has passed, but I can vividly feel the ardent love this group of students have towards film and television.
Not only do they often share their views towards a particular movie in the group, but they even organize to make interesting short films together.
Whenever I see them busying themselves with a project, I cannot help but recall my own beautiful university days.
??: CEO Victor, would you like to sit in one of our courses?
??: No need.
A familiar voice drifts from around the corner, making my eyes widen slightly.
In order to confirm the conjecture in my heart, I cannot help but take a large step, and leaning my head out of the corner.
From a corner where the sunlight is drenching over a large area, Victor is marching towards this direction of mine with steady steps.
He stares at the front indifferently. It’s not until the instant our eyes meet, does he slow down his pace.
Although we’ve both brought up that we have work-relationship with this school, but neither of us seem to have expected meeting the other today here as well.
Very quickly, the astonishment in Victor’s eyes have already transformed into the placidity. But considering that he is occupied with work at the moment, I don’t want to bother too much, and continue walking forward.
Not waiting for my response, another voice sounds immediately afterwards.
Dean: MC, do you know Mr. Victor?
Seeing the somewhat curious look in the Dean’s eyes, I nod lightly.
MC: Mm, he is an investor in our company.
I tilt my head unobtrusively, and stealthily wink at Victor.
As expected, I am met with a merciless glance straightaway.
I pout inwardly, and just as I am about to shoot a greeting and leave, the class bell rings suddenly–
MC: Sorry, I’m off to class!
I give a slight nod, and quickly march off while hugging the teaching materials tightly.
Victor: What subject will you be teaching in this lecture?
His voice makes me stop in my tracks at once.
MC: Audio-visual language.
Victor glances towards the Dean.
Victor: Then I will listen to this lecture.
– ✧ –
Although Victor has said so, but even when there are fifteen minutes left for the class, he still hasn’t entered the classroom.
I guess he probably has gone to discuss some business at the last moment.... As such, I continue at my own rhythm, watching the short film along with the students for the remainder of the time.
Not long before the broadcast ends, the backdoor is gently pushed open. Victor and several teachers walk in, and sit in the last row.
The room is extremely dim with the curtains being drawn, but I still lock eyes with Victor at once.
I pretend to glare angrily, wanting to use this as the pretext to tell him he is late.
But he simply takes a deep look at me, and shifts his eyes back to the curtain once again.
Looking into those pair of eyes which are always rippling with tranquility, I cannot help but prop up my chin with one hand.
I also wonder what Victor’s appearance was like in his university days, and would it be any different from how he is now?
I cannot help but start imagining him walking around in the campus, running around in the playground. Or perhaps he is slouching on the desk, looking absent-mindedly....
Countless imaginations hover in my heart, until an idea gradually takes shape in my mind.
I look at Victor, laughing covertly in my heart.
– ✧ –
After the class, I walk out of the classroom carrying the materials, and find Victor standing outside the door, waiting for me.
Thinking of the plan just now, I pretend to walk over to him nonchalantly, intending to “set it up” for him a little bit.
MC: Victor, are you free this afternoon?
He gives me a wary look, as though seeing through my thoughts.
Victor: Yes, but that doesn't mean I will agree to any strange requests.
MC: It’s not a strange request!
MC: ....It’s an invitation for you to attend a lecture!
MC: I happen to have another class in the afternoon, and I want to invite you over. Just to be clear, it’s not as an auditioner, rather to be there as my student!
Victor narrows his eyes, seemingly turning down my thoughts with the expression in his eyes.
MC: This is the first time I’ve formally taught the students what I’ve learned.
MC: It’s different from that kind of previous exchange meetings. Rather the foundation has been laid for the students little by little, akin to building a house.
MC: And you’ve only seen what I looked like when I was preparing for the lectures before, but you haven’t examined the results of my labor yet~
MC: Then aren’t you curious about what would I be like while teaching a class?
Victor doesn’t refute immediately, and seems to be really imagining something.
Seeing that there seems to be a breakthrough in the situation, I promptly strike while the iron is hot.
MC: The teaching suggestions given to me by the school leaders before, were all pointed out from the perspective of the auditioner.
MC: But if CEO Victor could give me some suggestion from the point of view of a student.... I will certainly have a qualitative leap!
Victor: You actually never run short of high-sounding reasons.
As soon as the words leave his mouth, the vibrating sound of the phone comes from Victor’s pocket. After turning on the light of the screen, Victor glances at me.
Victor: What time is the class in the afternoon?
MC: The class starts at 2:00, and ends at 4:00. Teacher MC’s classes are never delayed!
In order to embody the authenticity of the words, I cannot help lifting my chin up as I straighten up my chest.
Victor looks at me, sighing softly.
Victor: ....I’m going to attend a school party at 7:00. The time up until then is yours.
Tonight is the school's annual party. All the teachers and students are attending, but I didn’t think Victor is also invited.
I smile, and hook my arm with his affectionately.
MC: I’m going to this party too.
MC: After we finish the class, let’s go together~
✧ [SECTION 2] ✧
After finishing lunch, Victor and I arrive at the door of the classroom.
Making a gesture at him to wait, I quickly enter the classroom.
After exchanging quick greetings with the students, I lean back slightly, and wave my hand towards the figure outside the door.
MC: “Classmate,” come on in~
The “stern” gaze rapidly staples on me, causing the somewhat overly grinning corners of my mouth to automatically converge a little bit.
Soon, Victor retracts his gaze and walks into the classroom, producing a cry of surprise from the audience.
Even though the ideological work has been done in advance, the students are still a little excited seeing the CEO of LFG in person.
With a slight nod of his head, Victor walks over to the back row. But the seats in that place is almost all filled up, leaving only the seats at the front row.
Seeing a flicker of hesitation flitting past Victor’s eyes, I laugh and point towards the seat right in the middle of the front row.
Just as he is about to speak, the students in the back row stand up in unison, making the way for an entire row of seats for Victor.
Student A: Vi- Classmate Victor....
Student B: What a fool! Even though the teacher asked us to treat him as a classmate, but you really dare to call out like that right away? Mr. Victor, sit over here!
Student C: The scenery from my place is excellent. Come and sit here~
The situation becomes even more chaotic, and I hastily pat on the podium.
MC: Be quiet! Victor, you come and take a seat at the front.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, the students gasp, as if they have seen something extraordinary.
Amidst the whispers in the audience, Victor turns his body, locking his gaze on me.
The instant our eyes interlock, I immediately raise a small flag of surrender in my heart.
But considering that I’m still maintaining the order in the classroom, I stiffly straighten up my waist and back.
MC: Before starting the class, everyone return to their own seats.
At the same time, I secretly shoot Victor a meaningful glance, hoping that he would be kind enough to co-operate with me.
Soon, he averts his line of sight helplessly, walking straight over to the direction of the seat I have pointed at.
Sunlight flows down following the white curtains, and quietly climbs onto Victor’s shoulders.
The silhouette is also coated with a soft glow, making me lose consciousness for a moment.
He raises his chin slightly, and taps his slender fingers on the desk, as though signaling me to snap out of the daze.
I move away my line of sight feeling somewhat embarrassed, and hurriedly pick up the chalk to write down today’s topic ––
“Desire in movie characters.”
I put down the chalk, and rest my palm lightly on the desk.
MC: Students, this is the topic we are going to analyze today.
MC: Desire, one of the human instincts.
MC: It’s a kind of longing, a satisfaction, and the original intention of wanting to reach a goal.
MC: And there are many ways to display the inner desire of a character in the movies.
MC: The connection between the characters and their desires are highlighted through the dialogues, actions, objects or links among the shots of the camera.
MC: In order for the students to apply it more practically, everyone please try to use different forms to express your desire.
As the words drop, the audience bustles with noise and excitement as the discussion rises up. Many students gently nudge the person at their side, as if trying to instigate something.
Seeing that everyone seems to have gotten the wrong idea, I tap on the table asking for silence.
MC: It seems that majority of the students have a very deep misunderstanding of this term. I think we should look squarely at it once again.
MC: This term shouldn't be referred to only by “temptation,” and similarly it also doesn't distinguish between good or bad.
MC: From a psychological point of view, there are longings and satisfactions, such as the need to fill one’s stomach when hungry and so on. I will not cite them one by one.
Just as the words are spoken, a light breeze blows in, stretching forward a green branch through the window from the outside. The flower buds that are clinging onto it seem to be on the verge of blooming.
I suddenly think of something, and point towards the green branch scouting inside.
MC: I wish for this flower bud to grow well, and see it in full bloom. This is my innermost longing.
MC: And the moment it’s in full bloom, I hope to be able to appreciate it together with the person I care about. In this way, the longing in my heart will turn into satisfaction.
MC: This is the change of people’s inner desires.
With that said, I inadvertently cast a glance towards Victor from my peripheral vision. He is turning his head to look straight towards that green branch, gazing at it silently.
It looks as if he is really imagining what that flower bud would look like when it’s in full bloom.
Student A: Teacher, and how can this be displayed concretely in a movie scene?
I come back to my senses, and look towards the student who has just spoken.
MC: In the language of the camera, if you don’t understand what you want to convey, then it will be very difficult to truly express it on-site. Therefore, I hope today, it’s more about everyone discussing, exchanging, and expanding the diversity of the word “desire” together.
Suddenly, a young man raises his hand. I have quite the impression of him, as the student who ardently loves film and television.
MC: Wu Ye, please go ahead.
Wu Ye: The teacher produced a very special program before, referring to the silent movie format. All of them are using actions to convey one chasing after their dreams. I think, this is also a kind of way to express desire, isn’t it?
MC: Yes. At that time, I shed a lot of elements in this program, and hoped that the audience will be able to focus entirely on the character’s actions.
Wu Ye raises his eyebrows lightly, his eyes filled with aspirations.
Wu Ye: Teacher.... I hope that after graduation, I can have the opportunity to go to [MC’s company name] company, produce very genuine contents, and to achieve my dream.
Wu Ye seems to have set a pretty good demonstration for the fellow classmates, and the other students also begin to express their opinions one after another.
I slowly walk around in the audience as I listen.
And every time I brush past Victor, it’s as if we are being tugged at by something, making our gaze linger on each other involuntarily.
Perhaps, we simply want to take a look at the other person more.
Just as the movie of the appreciation is being played to the last frame, the class dismissal bell rings at the same time.
After handing over the simple assignment, the students leave the classroom one after another, leaving only Victor and I.
MC: How did I perform in this class, still got it right?
I conceal my expression of anticipation, and walk over to his side in a feigned leisurely manner.
Victor: Posture was stiff, and the language organizing skills need to be improved too....
I immediately make a pause gesture. After taking a few deep breaths, my mind finally calms down.
MC: Phew.... I’ve adjusted. Please continue pointing out the problems.
Victor doesn’t seem to have expected that I will continue to “seek for complaints,” and cannot help but laugh several times in spite of himself.
Victor: Pretty good choice of the topic, barely flawed.
A flicker of joy streaks across my heart, and I lift my chin up complacently.
MC: Since a certain someone has praised the contents of this lecture, it indicates that he has listened conscientiously to the class. I’m going to put you the test then~
MC: I’ve just shown several kinds of forms to express desire in the classroom.
MC: And I wonder, what kind of form will student Victor use to express his desire?
Victor doesn’t answer, seemingly refusing to answer with silence.
MC: ....It’s very easy to make a teacher feel frustrated if they encounter a student like you.
Victor: It’s also of an extreme low probability to encounter a dummy teacher like you.
Seeing Victor giving back my sentence without changing his intention at all, I stand up sullenly.
MC: Can’t persuade you anyway. I’d better hurry up and continue preparing for the lecture before the party starts!
Victor doesn’t seem to have anticipated that I still have something to do next, and releases a soft sigh.
Victor: Conducting the company and the school affairs at the same time, must have your hands full?
MC: It sounds like you’re saying.... I can cut the number of projects by halves for the time being?
Victor: Are you letting yourself rest by having sweet dreams?
Victor raises an eyebrow, lifting the corners of his mouth.
While I’m still pondering over how to strike back, Victor helplessly lifts up his eyebrows.
Victor: Don’t you have to prepare for a lecture. You’ve wasted a lot of time already.
MC: Are you going to stay with me?
He raises an eyebrow with the expression of “what else do you think.” Without waiting for him to complain about me, I promptly clap my hands.
MC: Then I’ll go and apply for the multi-purpose classroom. You wait for me here for a while. We will go over there and prepare for the lecture!
✧ [SECTION 2- EXTRA] ✧
Looking at the girl’s excited and hurrying figure from behind, Victor gently crocks the corners of his mouth upwards, and sits back in that seat she has “chosen.”
Originally, he didn’t intend to sit in such a conspicuous position. But after seeing those pair of eyes permeating with expectations, he changed his mind at the last moment.
There are a few opportunities to “become” her student, so why not sit a little closer and appreciate it properly.
一 However, he doesn’t seem to be the only one who thinks as such.
A flurry of footsteps sound outside of the classroom, and a young face appears at the door – it’s that student who displayed a vigorous performance earlier.
Wu Ye: Teacher, I still have some questions....
After catching the sight of Victor being the only person in the classroom, the other party’s brilliant smile falls silent in an instant.
Victor and him look at one another for a moment. Then Victor takes out his phone with an expressionless face, and looks at today’s finance and economic news.
Wu Ye: ....Teacher, have you left?
After a while, Victor lifts his head up, and glances at Wu Ye.
Victor: She will be back later.
Wu Ye nods, but his eyes cannot help but always look towards Victor, as if they are observing something.
Even though Victor feels the occasional glances casted in his way, but he doesn’t wish to pay attention to the other party too much.
Suddenly the sound of vigorously breathing in can be heard in the air, followed by Wu Ye finally walking over to Victor’s side.
Wu Ye: Vi- Mr. Victor. I will certainly go to [MC’s Company Name] company, and create even better contents together with my teacher.
A stammering voice transmits into Victor’s ears –
Akin to both declaration of a war, and to a self-promotion.
While just being about to finish the news article, Victor puts the phone away and puts it inside the pocket of his suit, and then raises his head.
Victor: You’ve already said that before. If you want to declare your position again, you should say it to her, not me.
Wu Ye: ....
[ My reaction: I honestly laughed out loud at this part. He’s literally like – since you like my girlfriend, sure go ahead- tell her, it won’t work anyways LOL ]
Wu Ye’s profile droops down, and the courage he has summoned just now also obliterates completely, reminiscent of a deflated ball.
Silence hangs in the air once again. Seeing that he is stifling for half a day to produce a word, Victor cannot help turning his head to look outside the window.
The sun was shining very nicely just now, and it was also just right when it landed on her.
Although at first he was equivocal to why she invited him to stay and attend the class, but he seems to understand some of it now.
It might have been because she wanted to let him accompany her for a while.
Suddenly, Victor laughs to himself. But it seems to have occurred to him there is another figure not far away, and he immediately becomes expressionless.
Silence continues to hang in the air, but Victor doesn’t mind a bit either, except for Wu Ye who seems to have become restless.
In the end, the other person leaves the room without even greeting.
Soon, the sound of footsteps outside the door come forth once again. Victor cannot help perking up the corners of his mouth.
Because even without turning his head, he still knows一
She is back.
✧ [ SECTION 3 ] ✧
The large area is divided into two space for the school and the studio, offering space for the practical and theoretical work simultaneously.
After entering inside, I skillfully turn on the console, dropping the curtains little by little, and move the tables-chairs again to make the space wider.
Victor: Who could have imagined, it has already grown into a presentable shape in less than a half month. It’s not difficult to see that you indeed put a lot of effort into it.
MC: That’s for sure. You must treat everything you do seriously~
With that, I unrelentingly walk in front of the blackboard again, and write down the next topic in sequence, for this lesson ––
“Practical lesson: the tension of the character's desire expressed through the lens.”
I put down the chalk, and then turn my head to look at Victor.
The photographic lighting reflects his silhouette so vividly in a bright-dark shade, that from a distance it seems to have turn into an image from the movies in a flash.
A feasible idea suddenly surfaces in my mind, and thereupon I tap on the topic I have written down.
MC: Victor, why don’t you come up and help me to check on something?
Victor: ....What are you planning to do again?
I twirl the chalk within my fingers, and point towards the studio not far away in a cute manner.
MC: Originally I was the only one. So I intended to become the “demonstration object” by myself.
MC: Although in order to ensure the efficiency of the lesson preparation, I also prepared an alternative plan that doesn’t require “demonstration object.”
MC: But now that you are here, you will take my place in the battle-field, won’t you?
MC: In this way, I can survey the overall situation from the third perspective, and it will be even more efficient too!
I extrude a brilliant smile, and impatiently look towards Victor again at once.
Victor: You’re really becoming more and more proficient in using the technique of decapacitating first and then presenting the trophy.
MC: Not really. You are here, and this is called adding flowers to the brocade~
Victor takes a deep look at me, and finally sighs.
Victor: First tell me about the contents of your lecture. Then I will make judgements.
I nod my head, and state the plan that has already taken a shape in my mind.
MC: Simply put, a shot is composed of different “contents” –
MC: Such as lighting, props, sets, characters, actions etc....
MC: Afterwards, utilizing these “contents,” maximize capturing the “desires” of a character in the language of a single camera shot.
MC: Among the contents, one I’ve anticipated well ahead of time are the characters– a pair of lovers who are head over heels in love.
MC: Because of the lovers being passionately in love, it’s hard to suppress their desires.
MC: After all, the ambience between two people head over heels in love is very fervent, impulsive, and sometimes even slightly losing the sense of small reasonings.
MC: You will want to send all the beautiful things in this world to the person you care about the most, and like the most.
MC: So, later in the demonstrated scene the effects will be achieved by highlighting the emotions reflecting in the characters’ eyes, the actions, as well as the atmosphere settings in the background.
Victor: It sounds like a big project.
MC: All the more reasons why I need CEO Victor’s devoted rescue~
Not giving him the opportunity to refuse, I promptly push his back towards the filming area. After passing through the miscellaneous props, I press Victor down to sit on the flowerbed.
MC: You sit here, and wait for me for a while.
Victor doesn’t say anything, just looks at me silently.
I walk over to the filming camera, insert the data cable, and immediately input the lens into the monitor on the wall.
Then slowly twist the focus of the camera and adjust the angle, until Victor’s image appear in the monitor––
His hands are causally placed on the edge of the bed, the dusky hue dying him with a trace of indolence.
Victor purses his brows as he sees the monitor.
Fearing that he will not co-operate in the next second, I hastily poke my head out of the camera.
MC: Don’t worry. I won’t be recording it. This is just a “maneuver!”
Adjusting the screen, finally I walk over to the lighting equipment area again.
MC: The basic composition has been confirmed. Now we are going to render the emotion in the ambience through lighting.
MC: I intend to use the cold light as the basic color of the image, then use the warm light to make a contrast, and bring about a visual difference.
MC: Because, the cold light represents rationality, the warm light represents sensibility and desire. They both collide with each other, and also harmonize with each other at the same time.
On one hand, I elaborate on my conception, and on the other hand, control the lighting.
Under the irradiation of the cold light, the image becomes even darker and colder, setting Victor off with a slight sense of detachment.
Immediately afterwards, a shallow warm light encases his body.
One bright, and one dark, one cold, and the other warm. They intermingle with each other until they blend together perfectly.
I look at the image on the monitor with satisfaction, then wink at Victor, and reach out to point at it.
MC: As you can see, I used a medium-close composition, letting the background and lighting have sufficient space to bring out the implicit qualities.
MC: Afterwards, as soon as the rest of the details are prepared, the camera will be slowly pushed on the character’s body, revealing the tension as it changes.
Victor looks towards the image on the monitor, a little sense of appreciation emerging between his eyebrows.
Victor: It seems that you indeed are very well-prepared.
MC: Which time am I not well-prepared!
With that, I unhurriedly pick up the roses from the vase, and very carefully pass them through his waistcoat, also straightening up his lapels in the process.
After the decoration props are prepared, now there is still one final step lacking—
Even if there is only one character in the camera by themselves, it can also show the desire of the both parties for each other— it’s the brush stroke that will dot in the eye.
Thinking of this, I cannot help but proudly take a lipstick out of my bag, and sway it before his eyes.
MC: Cough cough. Now there is still one last step remained. It’s indeed a plan I’ve thought of spending a long time.
MC: I want to draw lingering kiss marks on the side of your lips with this lipstick.
Victor’s brows seem to be wrinkled together.
MC: Because for the lovers, there are some “traces” that have to be left behind, even if it has to be left behind deliberately.
MC: It’s an oath, and also a possession.
I cannot help but leaning a bit closer, and stating it seriously.
Victor doesn’t speak, only looks at me deeply.
For what seems like an instant, his gaze lingers between my lips for a brief moment.
Victor: But the drawn kiss marks aren't fake?
A deep, low and indisputable intonation falls into my ears.
I look at the lipstick in my hand in bewilderment, because I was the only one in the lecture planned beforehand.
Therefore I had no other choice but to stimulate the red marks by myself, but now....
I subconsciously purse my lips, the tips of my ears becoming somewhat burning hot.
The bright and dark interweaving lights become a little misty at this moment.
His eyes are also obscured by the fringes falling from his forehead, casting a faint shadow. They can't be seen clearly, and yet it makes one want to get closer involuntarily.
I lower my head and twist the lipstick, applying it silently. By the time I lift up my head, my cheeks have long since grown scalding.
I cradle Victor’s cheeks with my both hands, my breathing also quietly starting to linger as I slowly approach.
✧ [SECTION 4] ✧
When the reaction comes over, my lips are already sealed with a softness.
I kiss him softly, the sticky texture of the lipstick slowly caressing between the lips.
Although I am incomparably covetous of his breath and temperature, I desperately try to maintain what little reasoning I have left, and leave behind the anticipated imprint.
But unexpectedly, when I let go of my hand, I am met with a pair of slightly discontented eyes.
Victor gives himself a quick surveying glance on the monitor, and then looks straight at me.
Victor: Is this the “effect” you want to achieve?
Looking at the red mark on the side of his lips so light as to be almost invisible, I avert my eyes with slight embarrassment.
MC: ....I can’t see what it looks like!
He gently squeezes my chin, lifting my eyes up once again.
Victor: Lovers head over heels in love, would they restrain themselves so much?
With that, he nibbles on my lips as if giving a kind of punishment.
MC: [blushing] I....
Barely have the words left the mouth, a hint of softness lands between my lips, accompanying a tingling sensation slowly sweeping through my entire body.
It’s as if he is correcting the “mistake” I have just made, claiming everything somewhat intensively, and the lips also become from tingling to a little swollen.
It’s not until the air in our mouths seems to start thinning out, does he finally let go of me.
I pant slightly, my eyes falling straight between his lips. The lightly traced red marks from a moment ago have become a lot deeper.
Victor once again turns his head to look at the monitor, arching an eyebrow.
Victor: It still doesn't seem to be enough.
The face before my eyes suddenly enlarges, my consciousness is once again bundled up in a soft and tingling sensation, only this time it seems to be somewhat impending.
The previous tenderness seems to be already cast aside, leaving only the gradually escalating scalding temperature between each other.
But this seems to be far from enough for him, exertion of a slight force of his palm against my waist makes me completely imprisoned within.
My center of gravity tilts involuntarily. I subconsciously want to find a fulcrum, but I too, can only haphazardly wrap my arms around his waist.
The wind brushes past ears momentarily, the light and shadow also becomes faintly wavering. At the same time, we lose our center of gravity, toppling onto the flower bed.
At this moment, it seems that whatever was left of the reasoning is being completely overwhelmed.
Repeatedly coarse gasps break into my ears, and the air that comes pouring in seems to be thinning out, but it still can’t make me willing to let go.
Suddenly, a stinging coming from the tip of my tongue drags my blurred train of thoughts back.
Absorbing the pain, I open my eyes only to meet a pair of still unsatisfied eyes.
Victor: Learnt it yet?
I try hard to calm down my rapid breathing, my gaze simultaneously wanders to his lips following the sound, and catches the sight of the disarrayed red marks smudged all over them.
Each tiny spot of smeared traces seems to be concealing intense sentiments – natural and real.
Merely these smeared kiss marks alone, seem to make all the previous contents of the composition and lighting no longer important.
The rest of the colors turn pale in an instant, leaving only these ones – dazzling red and yet that makes one unable to look away.
As if being magnetically drawn to it, I raise my hand, caressing that smeared dark red.
The soft lips quiver slightly along with my movements. As though he can no longer bear the tingling touch, Victor grabs my hand all of a sudden.
Reason returns in an instant, and I get up frantically, accidentally stepping on a hard push button.
The sound of gears turning abruptly rings out in the air, and a picture frame hanging up with a rope descends slowly.
The golden frame reflecting the fragments of lights slowly separates Victor and I, finally stopping in mid-air.
Looking along the frame, I am instantly taken aback by the image before my eyes.
Victor doesn’t seem to have anticipated it either, but the action of wiping the lipstick still halts at the side of his mouth.
Even after wiping, the smeared dazzling red still rests at the corner of his lips, blooming from dark to light.
Even the traces of creases on the shirt, also seems to be secretly reminding of everything that has just happened here.
Obviously initially, the original intention was only to have Victor come to listen to my class, but I haven’t expected for this moment of uncontrollable stirring up emotions to happen....
Victor: Now is it like the way you wanted it to be?
His breathing that has not yet calmed down – is somewhat contrasting with his calm as ever tone, but it also appears to be a little more real.
MC: In fact, it’s even better than I expected....
MC: You have helped me in realizing all the contents for this lecture, which were floating around in my brain before.
Victor: Aside from me, no one else will help you.
As though reinstating his usual color, he looks at me again with that calm amidst the chaos appearance.
Victor: Are you planning to continue preparing for the lesson by standing there in a daze?
MC: Of course not. Only thing that’s lacking now are the finishing touches!
MC: I- I still need you to strike a pose to let this lesson preparation draw a perfect end.
Victor: In that case, before a certain cat implements its “bold, visionary words,” wipe off your face first.
In a daze, I look back at myself in the monitor, and find that my face is also a smeared mess from somewhere – red and puffy.
I hurriedly lower my head, and wiping it haphazardly when Victor’s voice rings out once again.
Victor: Don’t wipe around your mouth.
I stop my movements in a daze, and blink.
Victor: If you still want to do it another time, then go ahead.
After cleaning up the unnecessary red marks and tidying up the somewhat wrinkled collar, I pat my still slightly burning hot cheeks to let myself get clear-headed.
MC: Come on. Let’s continue.
As soon as the voice falls, a fit of knocks sound on the door.
??: Teacher MC, are you in there?
I look at Wu Ye in front of me, the residual shock that has just been stirred up by the knock on the door still not being fully suppressed.
Wu Ye: Teacher, I heard from the classroom administrator that you are here preparing for a lesson. So I thought of asking if there is anything I can do to help?
At the same time Wu Ye speaks, I quietly shoot a glance towards Victor who is sitting next to me.
Seeing that the red marks on the side of his lips are completely untraceable, I breath a little easy in my heart.
Although it’s a bit of a shame erasing it, but it is still somewhat not very appropriate to let the students see....
MC: There is nothing I need help with for the time being. Thank you, Wu Ye.
Wu Ye doesn’t seem to have any intention of leaving, scratching his head.
Wu Ye: Then please call me the next time you need me. I would like to help the teacher lighten some of the workload.
His tone is filled with concealed unbounded expectations, akin to one kind of ardent hope.
This is a look I seem to see on him often, even sometimes with a little shyness and overwhelmingly scratching of the head.
When I am pondering over what should be the appropriate way of responding, a quite voice rings out beside me.
Victor: MC, the time is less than an hour before the party.
I look at the time on the wall, and then look towards Wu Ye somewhat apologetically.
MC: Wu Ye, sorry. I have to get back to preparing the lesson. If you have any questions, we will see it in the next class.
Wu Ye: I got it. Goodbye, teacher.
Wu Ye purses his lips, glancing at Victor, and then turns his head to leave the classroom.
It’s not until the footsteps are completely gone, does Victor turn his head, setting his gaze on my lips.
Victor: Preparation for the contents of the lecture was interrupted. Do you want to start over?
⊳ Option A: Mm-hmm.
MC: But the rhythm was suddenly interrupted. I don’t know whether it will still have the same effect it just had....
Victor: Well, in that case, let’s wait and continue after the party is over.
MC: But the multi-purpose classroom won’t be open at that time.
Victor sighs softly.
Victor: At the moment, do you still think that the most important content of your lesson preparation is the venue and the camera?
Looking at the person in front of me, all the answers to the questions are obtained in an instant.
Anywhere can be used as a venue, and I also have my own camera –
It is only the person in front of me, who is irreplaceable.
After making the decision, we restore the place to its original state, and leave the classroom at a brisk pace.
(option A ends)
⊳ Option B: There isn’t much time left.
(A HEAVILY BLUSHING VICTOR: HERE!)
✧ [SECTION 4 - EXTRA] ✧
After leaving the multi-functional classroom, Victor and I quickly go to the office to fetch my gown.
School evenings are always vibrant.
Students who have just had the meal in the cafeteria are in groups of three or four, discussing the latest online games;
The student who has been suspended in physical education is running desperately on the track, and a close roommate is counting time for her on the side of the playground;
The boys and girls in the midst of noncommittal exchange walk around the playground in a circle, no one willing to be the first to speak about going back to the dormitory.
It is clearly the most leaden time of the day, but it is actually the most vibrant time of the university.
Victor and I stroll across the playground, and we cannot help but slow down our pace amidst the laughter.
MC: Ah, it’s such a joy going to the school! More than work....
As I’m talking, a few students who look like sports students break into a sprint, and almost knock against my shoulder, but Victor pulls me up just in time.
Student: Sorry! Classmate, I didn’t hit you, did I?
Being called as the “classmate,” I promptly wave my hand to and fro.
MC: No, no.
The students repeatedly apologize and leave. As I am straightening up, my hand is suddenly held by a familiar warmth.
The long, slender fingers interlock with my fingers, serving as the evidence of explicitly stating the intimacy between them. Feeling embarrassed, I struggle to get free for a while.
MC: Victor, I am a teacher....
Victor: When you were regarded as a “classmate,” why didn’t you refute that you are a teacher?
He tightens his fingers, and simply pulls me along as he continues to walk forward.
Victor: Take a look at your surroundings. Who is going to notice that you are a teacher?
The daylight has completely indulged into the embrace of the night sky, and the color of the sky has already sunk into the profound darkness.
The football field at the center of the playground is lit up by a few beams of light, which only faintly illuminate the track.
I follow Victor’s line of sight, and look at the young couple who are engrossed in their romance at the side of the playground. No one really seems to be looking at us, and apparently I was making a big fuss out of nothing.
MC: Victor, was your after-school life also rich like this when you were in university? For example, participating in competitions, clubs and so on.
Victor: Something like that.
MC: In that case, tell me about it?
Victor: Setting up the start-up team of LFG, evaluating the direction of the products, developing a management system....
MC: Stop, stop—
Being reminded by him like this, I recall that he founded LFG when he was only in university.
I originally wanted to understand more deeply about Victor in the past, but it seems that I won’t hear any other answers at the moment.
He looks at my somewhat disappointed expression, and a smile flits past his eyes.
Victor: In leisure times, I would also run around in the playground.
My eyes brighten up, and I hastily take his arm.
MC: So did you think about anything when you ran?
MC: After all, most people talk to themselves when they run.
MC: For example, “Come on, hold on for one more lap!”....
MC: “Then you can immediately go to the canteen, buy grilled sausage and soda,” and so on.
He gives me a comical glance, then casts his eyes casually and leisurely towards the distant track, looking as though he is reminiscing something.
MC: In that case, why don’t you try remembering today?
I laugh as I let go of his hand, run forward two steps, then turn my head, and wave my hand facing Victor behind me.
He seems to be raising the corners of his mouth. His mouth open and close a few times in such a way that, its shape can be vaguely discerned beneath the dark colored sky—
✧ [SECTION 5] ✧
Fetching the gown, we enter the VIP lounge the school has prepared for Victor.
I quickly walk into the inner room. When I come out after changing my clothes, I catch the sight of Victor sitting at the far end of the sofa, his back facing me.
He seems to be doing something, his body going up and down, accompanied by the sound of tearing a plastic bag.
Curious, I walk over, and see a pair of disposable slippers lying under the sofa.
Victor: Someone is usually quite lazy. But now she doesn't know how “to see a gap and stick a needle,” and let her feet rest.
Victor: Stepping on high-heels all day long, aren’t you tired?
I freeze for a moment. I don’t seem to remember showing any signs of physical fatigue today.
At most, it might be simply bending my knees for a while in the class, and perhaps a frown....?
But all these places that I have never thought of taking note of, Victor pays attention to them.
MC: A little bit. But considering the party, I will still have to stand for a few more hours.
MC: I decided to take advantage of this moment, and rest well for a bit~
When I sit down and change into the slippers, my feet are instantly wrapped in a soft touch.
And every time there is a warm feeling like this, it all seems to have Victor around.
When it’s all said and done, I am not too sure whether it’s because of these things he does, that make my heart even sweeter and warmer.
Or is it because of these things he does, which make me feel so special and yearned for....
Victor: What are you thinking about?
I step on the soft slippers covetously, and raise my head to look at him.
MC: I am thinking about going to the bottom of how many things you have done for me, making my heart warm and fuzzy.
Victor: Just let you change into the slippers, and you are able to think so far ahead?
MC: Humph, it seems that a certain someone still doesn’t know how much weight he carries in my heart, and how deep influence it has on me!
I emphasize on the enunciation, then spread my arms in feigned exaggerated manner, and draw an enormous circle.
MC: You should know, this topic of “Desire in the movie characters” has become even richer only because of you!
I don’t know if my expression is too exaggerated, Victor doesn’t seem to be very convinced.
Victor: I don't remember doing anything related to your topic.
MC: You have, even on the last weekend.
MC: Since I stayed too late at your house that day, I simply just stayed the night. You do remember this, don't you?
I blink as I lean in close, trying to jog his memories.
Victor suddenly puckers up his brows.
Victor: Said it was to stay the night, but in fact it was to make up for the mistakes due to procrastination. I still remember to this day, the way you were tweaking your ears and scratching you cheeks, and thinking about what to prepare for the contents of your lesson.
I glare indignantly, not intending to pick up on him at all.
MC: That evening, I was constantly worrying about how to demonstrate the comparatively abstract concept like “desire.”
MC: But after thinking about it till the middle of the night, I still haven’t had any particularly clear idea. Therefore, I just decided to set off with the “practical” first....
MC: So, I started thinking about my “desire” at that moment, and found out it was actually secretly wanting to watch you sleeping.
MC: Then I ran out of the study right away. As a result, when I was passing by the kitchen, I saw a familiar figure.
MC: At that time, I was thinking is this person stealing food behind my back in the middle of the night?!
As I said that, I laugh lightly. From my peripheral vision, the corners of Victor’s mouth seem to be raised in the same arc as mine.
MC: Then, I saw him taking out a bottle of chilled milk from the refrigerator. Then he poured it into the milk pan and simmered it slowly.
MC: At that time, I admired this man with all my heart. Obviously, he could just put it in the oven, but he had to take trouble of boiling the milk.
As soon as the words leave my mouth, Victor helplessly releases a soft laugh.
Victor: So you saw it at that time.
MC: Mm, but halfway through, I went back to the study to get my phone, intending to take a photo as the evidence of you eating alone.
MC: But to my surprise, even before I found the phone, that glass of milk was already placed at my table.
MC: It was only at that moment did I realize, that glass of milk was warmed up for me to drink.
MC: At that time, my mind was suddenly filled up with many, many more ideas.
MC: When you like someone, you can’t help but do a lot of things for them.
MC: Even the ordinary smallest of things, no matter how trivial they are, they will never be forgotten.
MC: It’s like.... it becomes a kind of instinct.
For a split second, the breathing in my ears seem to have been thrown into a chaos as he turns his head, and takes a deep look at me.
Victor: Making a big deal out of nothing.
Victor seems to be concealing a certain subtle emotion. I can vaguely perceive what it might be, and can’t help but bubble up the idea of wanting to tease him.
MC: So.... I am right, aren’t I?
As I speak, I blink my eyes even more pretentiously and triumphantly. I have still wanted to say a few more words to tease him, but I feel a tight grip on my wrist.
A gentle and yet irresistible force brings me into his arms as I lean into the crook of his arm.
He tightens his hold, unspeakable emotions flowing within the pupils of his eyes.
Victor: So this is how you want to obtain the affirmative answer?
My chin rests gently on his chest, rising and falling along with his breathing.
MC: [blushing] I....
Knock, knock, knock—
??: Mr. Victor, Teacher MC, the party will start in fifteen minutes.
As though finding an opportunity to escape, I promptly respond.
MC: Thank you for the reminder. We will be out in a while!
Just when I am about to seize the opportunity to get up, I find myself already being firmly imprisoned by Victor around the waist.
MC: [blushing] The party is about to begin....
Victor: But I haven’t answered your question yet.
MC: Questions can be put aside for now. What do you think....?
I smirk, wanting to leave seamlessly, but once again end in failure.
I cannot help but show my weakness by curling my lips, and looking at Victor forlornly.
MC: I still haven’t touched my make-up, and the lipstick was wiped off back in the afternoon....
With that, his gaze wanders to my mouth, and then suddenly lets go of his hand.
Cautiously, I move slowly off his body, then pick up the lipstick from my make-up bag on the table.
Just as I have twisted the lid, a warm breath brushes lightly against my ear.
Victor: Give me.
I stare blankly for a moment, my hand passing over the lipstick sort of unconsciously.
In the next second, a soft touch brushes gently back and forth between my lips, and as I raise my head, I am met with an extremely serious look.
I don’t dare move easily, even my breathing also slows down.
Occasionally when it is accidentally rubbing against the edge of the lips, it is already being wiped away with an even gentler force. Clearly it is merely applying a lipstick, but it seems as though he is tracing a treasure of utmost importance.
I don’t know if it is because I have been gazing at him all along, Victor finally lifts his eyes to meet my gaze.
Victor: Why do you keep looking at me.
MC: Because you are so close to me. I only have you in my eyes.
MC: And also, it seems like however many times I see, I can’t get enough of it.
Even though there is a hint of playfulness in the tone, but I have actually meant them with all my heart.
Even if I have already watched it countless times from every angle, yet every time, my heartbeat still won’t remain calm.
I gently cradle Victor’s cheeks with my both hands, my finger pads fondly caressing them.
MC: You must know.... caring about everything related to you, it is my instinct too.
MC: And at the same time, it is also my desire—
Before the words fall, my breath is then tenderly engulfed.
To some extent, this kiss is different from the one in the afternoon. This time it is even more gentle and more affectionate—
Reminiscent of a petal floating in the air, carrying it with a strong enchanting fragrance, and slowly descending on my lips.
His hands move gently behind my body, and even though separated by his western suit-jacket, I can still feel the strong and forceful heartbeats through it.
This is the frequency that beats for me.
Thinking of this, a faintly haunting desire seems to satisfied once again.
When the heat between each others’ breaths can no longer be surpassed, Victor finally lets go of me gently.
The blush at the side of his lips sways seamlessly, as he softly pants for breaths.
I open my mouth slightly, trying to breath steadily.
MC: [blushing] The lipstick.... smudged on again.
I reach out, and brush my fingertips across the corner of his lips, smearing them with a touch of red.
Victor lifts up his finger pads, and softly strokes them across my lips, his eyes tinged with a misty yearning.
Victor: We still haven’t finished the afternoon class, have we? Since this already is the case, let’s continue.
MC: [blushing] But....
As if to not let me finish speaking, he kisses me once again.
Then, he leans his head to the side, and kisses at the earlobe.
The warm and tickling sensation doesn’t end there, it moves slowly along with Victor’s voice....
On the neck, on the collarbone, on the arm, leaving one spot after another warmed.
The unceasing scorching breaths keep sweeping in and out, until our eyes interlock again.
Victor: MC, you are in fact half-correct.
Victor: Neither desire, nor instinct is the most important thing.
Victor: The most important thing is you.
Victor: You are the one who makes them even clearer and definite.
Victor: If instincts and desires are analogized to a mirror, then it reflects only you.
At this moment, it seems I have heard the emotions concealed in the depths of Victor’s heart.
Even the ordinary smallest of things he does for me, no matter how trivial they are— they seem to fall heavily onto the bottom of my heart one after another, then stir up ripples known as sentiments.
So regardless of it being happily drinking that entire glass of warmed up milk, or it being like the way it is at the moment....
All I wish for is to be able to make him feel contented, just like the way he makes me feel contented.
As long as he wants, and I am able to give, I am willing to do it all.
Since we have never held back from each other, even if I exhaust everything I have, I think it is worth it too.
As though in order to pull back my train of thoughts, Victor plants a prolonged and tender kiss on my forehead.
Victor: It’s time. Let’s get out. Let everyone take a look at the results of teacher MC’s teaching.
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