Fellow CSA survivor here. I appreciate this safe space to air out our thoughts, and I understand how cathartic that is, but I don't think it's a great idea to just... Yeet our trauma confessions and detailed descriptions of what happened to us onto the mods? That's what csa-vents and other vent blogs are for. (Mods, please let me know if I'm wrong here.)
i wanna start by saying, thank you for your concern and we do appreciate your worries! several of us have talked about it, and venting kind of.. comes with the territory. as an advice blog, it can be difficult to give advice or validation when we don't know anything about the person asking for it or what their needs are specifically.
as a mod team, we only delve into the inbox whenever we feel mentally capable of doing so. as long as people add a trigger/content warning near the top of the ask, so mods don't accidentally look at something that is a big trigger for them, we don't have much of an issue with some venting. generally, people will vent a bit about their situations and end the ask with "am i allowed to feel these things?" or "did i deserve it?" which does qualify as asking for advice or help.
if it would help our followers, we would be more than happy to include "vent"/"venting" in with the asks that are lengthy due to the amount of venting in them, and followers could always start off the content warnings by specifying that they're venting. we know triggers are incredibly tricky things, and we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
mod Devyn also brought up that, considering Tumblr regularly purges tags related to SA/CSA, it can be kind of hard to find blogs dedicated to specifically venting about these subjects; and considering how many people vent because they're unsure if their trauma even qualifies as CSA/SA/ect, it would be hard for them to feel like they could to a vent blog catering to a specific kind of trauma.
sorry for the long response, but it felt warranted in this case! again, thank you for your concern, its nice to know y'all care about us as much as we care about you <3 please, feel free to let us know if there's any topics or specific things y'all want tagged, and we will do our best to implement it!
I remembered some things that feel unbelievable, I'm not sure how to know what's true and what's not
hi anon, i'm really sorry you're going through this.
while false memories - made up scenarios your brain convinces you are real memories - are real, so are repressed memories - real memories that your brain locked up until you were more capable of processing them. unfortunately, it can be really difficult to tell which it is, but a relatively easy way to tell is what was happening when you remembered these things.
when it comes to repressed memories, they can appear at any time. i had repressed memories come back while i was laying in bed trying to sleep, and i figure they only showed up then because i had finally cut off ties to the person who had harmed me and i finally felt safe enough to acknowledge what had happened. they can come up in therapy or while talking to a doctor, but most people remember outside of therapy because of some kind of trigger. when memories are stored, they become attached to certain sounds, tastes, smells, feelings, and sights - a common example of this is eating a specific meal that you had with someone years ago, and suddenly those memories of being with that person are brought to the forefront of your brain. sometimes, reading or talking about or even watching a show that has a similar trauma can unlock the memories.
overall, memory isn't perfect. our memories are affected by the way we perceived something - we can remember something going a lot worse than what actually had happened if we had felt bad during a time, for example. people can also make false memories to fill gaps in their own memories, or because someone suggests to them that a certain thing happened. generally, however, professionals will work on the side that they are real memories; even if they are false, you can cause a lot more damage denying treatment and resources to someone who genuinely needs them. you could always ask people who were around at that time to see if they noticed anything, or maybe if their memory lines up with some things you remember, but it really isn't possible to know if a memory is 100% real or false and worrying about it will only cause you pain.
i hope you're able to find peace soon. please remember that you have people here for you.
Hi, i'm an abuse victim of many different things, but recently I've begin to think that i'm repressing sexual trauma. I started "doing things" to myself at a very young age, just because I knew that it "felt good" and nothing else. I also exposed myself to very sexual content for years. Is this something I should look into at all, or would the risk of fake memories not be worth it?
i work with young kids professionally and i can tell you that it is completely normal for kids with no sexual trauma to experiment with their bodies. i’ve seen babies under a year old touch themselves, because kids are naturally very curious and their main goal is to make themselves “feel good” (not shaming babies here, one of our first instincts is to take care of our own needs and that’s okay!). i have also been on the internet long enough to know how easy it can be for minors to access adult content (i know many, many adults who sought out that stuff as minors) so it could be that you genuinely stumbled upon it by yourself.
but, because i work with kids and had to take all sorts of classes on mandatory reporting, i also know that children being exposed to adult content can be a traumatizing event. where i live in the USA, purposefully exposing a minor to adult content counts as abuse; its entirely possible that you were traumatized in a sense just by seeing this content at a young age. psychologists already know that seeing adult content at a young age affects the way we act and can influence the way we think and process events, but they don’t know the full extent of how it may affect us. it could be that repressed memories show up in the process, but i would look into how your experiences might have affected you with a professional first, rather than seeking out repressed memories of SA right away.