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autolenaphilia · 2 years

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As a trans person, one of the “innocent questions” I’m supposed to answer to justify my existence is “what about trans women in women’s sports?” It’s recently relevant because trans women have been effectively banned from women’s swimming competitions by FINA.

And my sincere answer is fuck sports, abolish it. Sports are hypercapitalist fascistoid bullshit that shouldn’t exist. And I do mean fascistoid. Fascism doesn’t arise out of thin air, but are just the natural development of the ideology that underpins modern capitalist society. Sven Lindqvist pointed out that the holocaust was just an extension of the genocidal logic of western colonialism, and the Norwegian philosopher Harald Ofstad convincingly in a 1972 book argued that the core value of fascism/nazism was contempt for weakness, a contempt he also argued that is still common in western thinking. The title of his book translates to “Our Contempt for Weakness”, ours, not theirs. Ofstad is sadly undertranslated and unknown outside of scandinavia, but Umberto Eco pointed out independently how important the contempt for weakness is central to fascist thought.

This contempt for weakness is of course accompanied with the worship of strength, and a worship of physical strength is at the core of sports. The contempt for weakness is revealed in how sports is a kind pseudo-darwinian competition, where the strong defeats the weak.

And there truly is contempt, as anyone who has been seen as a boy or man and been bad at or uninterested in sports can attest to. Sports is such an integral part of the masculine gender role in modern western society. Thus someone perceived as male failing at or rejecting that part of masculinity is harshly punished, as is all such violations. You are seen as gay or effeminate, and thus weak, which is in our misogynistic and heteronormative society the second-worst thing someone deemed male can be. The worst by the way is rejecting the very category of boy or man which transfems do, and they are therefore the target of transmisogyny.

Physical education in our schools while supposedly for exercise is largely built around sports and consequently upholds it’s macho ideology. This ideology is a worship of physical strength and its trampling over anyone deemed weak or feminine. This is why there is so much bullying in PE classes, including by teachers, which is such a frequent source of trauma for gnc or trans children. If you want to argue this post is just motivated by my bitterness of being bullied during PE classes as a kid, you are actually right. But I don’t think that me being bullied was some random aberration that just happened to be particularly bad during gym class. It’s because physical education is so warped by sports and its underlying ideology. Teaching kids how to exercise is good, but it’s so badly done in western schools that it often has the opposite effect.

The sports ideology of worshipping strength and viewing weakness with contempt speaks to the worst parts of cis male psyches and masculinity. And you can see that especially in football hooligans, who often are at best a major nuisance in many european cities and at worst a danger to those who are unfortunate to come across them. Sports embolden many macho cis men to go veritable violent rampages, often in groups, and the targets of that violence is often women, queer people and people of colour. It’s not at all an accident that neo-nazis often are successful with recruiting among football hooligans. The fascist-adjacent ideology of sports feeds into open fascism.

It’s not an accident either than sports is connected with nationalism, and are often the most socially acceptable way of expressing nationalism. Nationalism in sports is seen as innocent, but that’s extremely questionable. The football hooligan to neo-nazi pipeline is too common to make that believable.

Sports is said to bring people together, but the olympics are not a truly international event as they still segregate the participants by nationality, thus reinforcing national divides.

And the olympics in particular are used essentially as propaganda events by various undemocratic regimes. In the 30s the Berlin Olympics was one of Hitler’s great international propaganda successes before the wars. And today the olympics was used by both the Russian and Chinese regimes to whitewash their rule. The olympic committee just doesn’t care about that.

That’s because the dark reality behind all the nice talk about bringing people together is that the purpose of sport is to make money and get advertising money. That is true of most things in our society, but its especially blatant and extreme with sports, where the athletes are often turned into literal walking ads.

It’s also absurd how much the elite athletes are paid, with salaries or incomes sometimes in the millions. Elite athletes do not directly gain that money by exploitation like capitalists do, but their absurdly high incomes are frankly obscene and immoral. It’s ghoulish that some men are paid millions for kicking a ball around while nurses are paid almost nothing and millions live in poverty.

Sports also has a weird “natural is good” ideology, which shows itself in the weird anti-doping rules. Sports is all about watching humans at their physical peak, and there is no rational reason why that peak can’t be medically enhanced, as long as the health of the participants are safe-guarded. All arguments either rest on the fallacious appeal to nature or gesturing to vague rules of “fairness”. And even despite all the rules, there is still a ton of doping going on, according to the World Anti-doping Agency itself 44% of all athletes have used doping. This is not really an argument for doping in sport in itself, as much as I want to criticize the dubious ideological underpinnings.

It’s because this “natural is good” philosophy of course hurts trans folks. The basis for a lot of transphobia is fundamentally the same as that against doping, it’s this appeal to nature fallacy that bodies untouched by medicine are good, bodies with “unnatural” artificial chemicals in them are bad.

And the rules against doping and drug use do directly affect trans people. A side-effect of the use of steroids by bodybuilders for example means testosterone is a controlled substance in many countries. This means transmasculine people have difficulty getting T, especially if they are DIY or in my country Sweden even if they have prescriptions from foreign doctors. It’s perhaps not the main intention of the laws, but definitely serves the state’s wish to control trans people’s bodies.

Of course, the more controversial parts of trans people and sports is trans women in women’s sports.The main reasoning given is that as male, trans women have physical advantages to cis women add therefore it is unfair to allow trans women in women’s leagues, they would win all the competitions and that would be unfair to cis women athletes who worked so hard.

And let’s concede even if just for the sake of argument that trans women athletes have a physical advantage. My impression is that a lot of that advantage goes away with hrt, but admittedly not all of it. Someone actually knowledgeable can probably pick holes in that preceding sentence. But this statement is mainly for the sake of argument, I haven’t researched the subject because it doesn’t interest me at all.

And again my primary answer is fuck sports, it should be abolished. Of course we will still have to deal with sports for the foreseeable future. And I think trans women should be included in women’s sports, because they are women and discrimination is bad. If the transphobic nightmare scenario happens in which trans women will dominate every women’s competition, so what? They are women, if they have a biological advantage it’s okay to use it to win a women’s competition. That’s what every athlete does, use their physical advantages to win. I don’t see it as unfair, and why should we care in the first place. Sports are made-up bullshit, they are fundamentally unimportant. Let trans women enjoy winning at women’s sports, we get so little anyway. I think if you do see trans women athletes winning competitions as unfair, it’s probably because you are a transmisogynist who doesn’t see trans women as women but as male invaders.

Again I don’t care if trans women athletes compete or not. What I do care about is that banning trans women from sports is essentially making discrimination against us allowed. Transphobic discrimination should be illegal, and a ban on trans women doing women’s sports is essentially making an exception. It will legitimize arguments that trans women are not “real women” and that due to biological advantages trans women are dangerous to cis women if they share spaces. This will probably enable transphobes to make more exceptions and the same arguments, now legitimized will be made to ban women from changing room and bathrooms. Thus completing trans women’s exclusion from society.

Sports have been a thorn in my side ever since I was a kid. As a kid, my lack of interest was used to justify bullying me, and today when I’m an adult it’s going to be used to deny me rights.

#my writings

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taylastudio2022 · 2 years

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FURTHER ANTI-FORM RESEARCH:

“ANTI/FORM” EXHIBITION:

Sculptures from the MUMOK Collection:

05.02.-15.05.2011 10:00-18:00 Curated by: Peter Pakesch.

Duration: Feb 5 - May 15, 2011

John Chamberlain, "Trixie Dee", 1963 Photo © VBK, Vienna 2011; MUMOK, Museum Moderner Kunst Stiftung Ludwig Wien, formerly Hahn Collection, Cologne exhibition "Anti/Form. Sculptures from the MUMOK Collection" 05.02.-15.05.2011 - Above.

“The term “anti-form” in the 1960s represented the abandonment of the traditional concept of art and sculpture. It was a radical challenge that opened doors to new aesthetic worlds, and was followed in the 1980s and 1990s by a further wave of novel sculptures whose influence is still perceptible today. Our Anti/Form exhibition illustrates by means of significant examples from the large MUMOK collection in Vienna the way the concept of sculpture was developed and redefined. Works of completely different artists from several decades show how a radical gesture became a new paradigm with an idiom of its own. What initially bordered on the outrageous in the context of Robert Morris’s Anti-Form manifesto and Harald Szeemann’s exhibition When Attitudes Become Form is now an important basic foundation for an increasingly globalised art” (Anti/Form).

Robert Morris, "Untitled", 1974

Foto © VBK, Wien 2011; MUMOK, Museum Moderner Kunst Stiftung Ludwig Wien

Exhibition view

Photo: Nicolas Lackner, Universalmuseum Joanneum - above.

Artists:

Carl Andre

Miroslaw Balka

Pier Paolo Calzolari

John Chamberlain

Jimmie Durham

Mike Kelley

Michael Kienzer

Sol LeWitt

Richard Long

Mario Merz

Robert Morris

Bruce Nauman

Meret Oppenheim

Jessica Stockholder

Franz West

Christopher Williams

Erwin Wurm

Heimo Zobernig

https://www.museum-joanneum.at/en/kunsthaus-graz/exhibitions/exhibitions/events/event/1380/anti-form-2

https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095416829 ->

“A term, originating in the late 1960s, applied to certain types of works that react against traditional forms, materials, and methods of artistic creation—*Arte Povera, Land art, some kinds of Conceptual art, and the early ‘provisional, non-fixed, elastic’ sculptures of Richard Serra, for example. Robert Morris, who wrote an article entitled ‘Anti-Form’ in the April 1968 issue of Artforum, defined the term as an ‘attempt to contradict one's taste’. The nature of the material means that the form itself is no longer exactly fixed or determined. This is also central to the work of certain Kinetic artists such as Lygia Clark and Mira Schendel.”

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ritual-unions · 5 months

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3, 12, 27 for your end-of-year writing wrapped asks? 😊

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Touch Me: a modern-day Hvitserk as a part start of my stripper AU that I am slowly working on. I really enjoyed writing Hvitserk but he never seems to get any traction with me on Ao3 or here, I think it’s because I mostly write him in modern day setting but it just works so well for him. Anyways, I love the way it turned out regardless of hits or kudos.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

I have many WIP, when they will actually see the light of day is a different story. 3 fics that I want to try to finish up enough to publish next year:

Broken Clocks - modern-day stripper AU, I’ve posted a few side fics for this but there is a larger story that I want to finish

Untitled - Harald Sigurdsson x OFC

Another Untitled solider but for Hvitserk x OFC

27. What do you listen to while writing?

I’m kind of all over place with what I listen to. Depends on the vibe/setting of the fic to set the mood. Mostly classical but r&b or pop if I’m writing something modern-day.

#ask game #thanks for asking

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procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics · 3 years

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Vikings (TV) Masterlist

my requests for vikings are currently partially OPEN! please only request imagines, and not oneshots. for those waiting for a continuation of ‘searching home’ or ‘unexpected’ i am so sorry... finishing those two is going to take me a while :/

hmu/msg me to be added to a taglist!

main masterlist | request guidelines

# - angst

+ - fluff

* - smut

~ - dark/gory

? - crack

§ - time travel involved

No romantic relationships, character x character

Queendom (Lagertha x Aslaug | songfic | They’ve both loved and they’ve both lost. Perhaps it was time that their hearts warmed again. | #+)

The Lothbroks, aka, the European version of the Kardashians (When Barbie Murray time travels, she finds out that pink isn’t available in Viking times. Luckily, her new besties all understand that boobs are the best and slay (literally?!) with her. | +?§)

I may be a bimbo, but I’m not stupid (Ivar kills Sigurd in a fit of rage, but Barbie isn't so quick to forgive cruelness. | ?§#)

1st gen Vikings

Strange Woman (Rollo x timetraveler!reader | request | The woman that appeared out of nowhere could be oh so dangerous, but even a stupid man would know that she was fascinating. | +?§)

Friend of Thor (Rollo x timetraveler!asgardian!reader | request | The reader, a fellow Asgardian and friend of Thor and the new King of Asgard, Brunnhilde, falls through worlds as the new guardian of the Bifrost tampers with the magic. | +?§)

And the Gods wished they were me (Judith x viking!gn!reader | request | Judith knows she should not mourn Athelstan. Nor should she even look at Norse heathens. She does both anyway, because Judith was named after a woman that had only rage and death, and she cannot escape her fate. | +)

Ubbe

Another day / part 2 (Ubbe x reader | prompt: we live to fight another day. | #)

Oldest (Ubbe x timetraveler!reader; platonic!Ivar x reader | summary: It seems that few things change about being the oldest sibling, no matter which place – or time | +§)

Yggdrasil (Ubbe x reader; platonic!Ivar x reader; dad!Harald x reader | summary: How can you tell your father what happened to you when he’d done it to so many others. | #~)

Hvitserk

Hvitserksdottir - Hvitserk x reader | prompt: “I think we need to talk about the fact that I’m in love with you and also that I’m pregnant.” | #+

Floki’s Cabin - Hvitserk x reader | prompt: “Just trust me. Please. | #

Searching Home / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 - Hvitserk x reader; Ivar x reader | When you stumble upon the ancient Spanish city of Algeciras, it takes you some time to realize that you’ve traveled through time. While that is terrible luck, a merchant couple takes you in. But your peace only lasts so long. | #+~§

Neither - genderfluid!reader x Hvitserk | Hvitserk finds out about genderfluidity and accepts he might not be completely straight | requested | +§

Law of conservation - modern!AU | You’ve been working as a tutor at your high school for about a year now. When your parents throw a barbecue party for your new neighbors, their mother Aslaug asks you to tutor her son Hvitserk, who is already a notorious flirt at his school. | Ivar being a nerd | +

Sandcastles - timetraveler!reader builds sandcastles, Ivar doesn’t get it and Hvitserk loves the idea of it | +§

When in Bali... - You were supposed to go to Bali with your partner for your one-year anniversary. Instead, you’re there alone, heartbroken. Will reuniting with a friend you know from a summer vacation in elementary school be able to fix it? | +

Ivar

Unholy Matrimony - A Sham in Four Acts / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Ivar x reader) Prompt: I’ve learnt to love you. - complete | #+*

Insatiable Little Heathens - drabble, for all of y’all who wanted more of Unholy Matrimony | +

Resolve - Ivar’s legs hurt but he’s so fucking thickheaded | +

My kind of witch - You wake up in an unfamiliar bed. The man with blazing blue eyes fascinates you as soon as you see him and as you realize the struggles he faces every day, your admiration for him grows into something more. (request | ivar x timetraveler!reader | +§)

Red - Ivar finally meets his match. | ~*

Serve - Ivar keeps teasing you. You finally have enough and give him a taste of his own medicine ;) | request | buff!reader x sub!ivar | *

Searching home / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 - Hvitserk x reader; Ivar x reader | When you stumble upon the ancient Spanish city of Algeciras, it takes you some time to realize that you’ve traveled through time. While that is terrible luck, a merchant couple takes you in. But your peace only lasts so long. | #+~§

Totally artistic - When inspiration hits, you can’t stop it | request | +

Sandcastles - timetraveler!reader builds sandcastles, Ivar doesn’t get it and Hvitserk loves the idea of it | +§

Brother - You left your home and your brother behind for a reason. Now, a man is causing trouble at the borders of Kattegat, and as Ivar's queen, you take justice into your own hands. | +

Unexpected / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 - Ivar finally decides to fuck the slave he’s been eyeing for so long, but when his angry side slips out, things take a turn for the wholly unexpected. | *

Tarot - Your day at the fair has been pretty slow – until a client like no other shows up. | +

Imagines:

How the Vikings would react to an accidental time traveler and a quiz to see if you’d survive: https://uquiz.com/dVXpgW

Ragnarssons (+Gyda): First Kiss

Social Media - which Social Media I think the vikings would use most in modern times

How the Vikings would react to guns and snapchat filters - ask reply, crack

How the Vikings would react to modern dancing - ask reply with some very short drabbles

How the Vikings would react to modern music, and what they’d like - ask reply

How the Vikings would react to modern concepts of astronomy and space - ask reply, i roast half of ‘em and call Bjorn Mr. Worldwide

How the Vikings react to modern haircare - ask reply

Vikings and Astrology - ask reply

How Vikings would react to THEM timetraveling - ask reply

Vikings + getting sick - ask reply

Vikings + Halloween - ask reply

Vikings + realizing you’re pregnant - ask reply

Vikings characters + how they'd react to finding Accidental Time Traveler crying somewhere and not knowing why - ask reply

Vikings + you on your period - ask reply (+ more hcs about Ivar)

Vikings + Legos - ask reply

Vikings + reader being much less stressed in their time - ask reply, short drabbles

Vikings + single mother - ask reply

Vikings + Gender Neutral Thor - ask reply

Vikings + modern food - ask reply

Vikings + touch avoidant cuddler - ask reply

Vikings + Kids - ask reply

Vikings + their history - ask reply

Ragnarssons + being possesive - ask reply

Vikings + Maleficent/Fae!reader - ask reply

Vikings + curls and afros - ask reply

Vikings + sleeping habits - ask reply

Vikings + contortionist/super flexible reader - ask reply

Vikings as modern!uni students - ask reply

Vikings + affectionate drunk!reader - ask reply

timetraveling!Vikings + modern tv/movies - ask reply

Vikings + gen z slang - ask reply

Vikings + curly haired kids - ask reply

timetraveling!Vikings + Christmas - ask reply

Quizzes by yours truly:

Would you survive in Viking times?

Which human emotion are you except it’s Vikings.

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fandomficsnstuff · 3 years

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Healer - Part 7

Ivar x Modern!Reader

(Warnings: none I think, but let me know if I’m wrong:D)

The tattoos I imagined are here only with the names swapped

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You sighed heavily as you finished your food, frowning at Ivar “so.. why did Ubbe leave? You weren’t quite… clear on that…” you asked, Ivar sighing and looking away, almost as if irritated by your questions and prodding, but he didn’t say so if that was the case, only shrugging lightly “after we realised they had taken you, and we couldn’t find you, Ubbe and Hvitserk went behind my back to negotiate a pace, and your release, even after I told them not to, that it would not work. They were beaten and humiliated, so Ubbe chose to go back to Kattegat, Hvitserk almost joined him but at the last second he choose to join me instead” Ivar explained, your head slowly nodding as you looked down “I wish I could have said goodbye… but we’ll see him soon, when we go back to Kattegat, right?” you asked, Ivar tensing up and hesitating, avoiding your gaze as he looked down, fiddling with the leather straps that held the braces on his legs in place “Ivar? We are going back to Kattegat, right?” you asked, Ivar sighing and looking up dramatically, looking back at you afterwards “not exactly, no. Do you remember King Harald?” Ivar asked, watching you intently as you frowned, trying to remember before hesitantly nodding “yeah, his brother went with Björn, right?” you asked, Ivar nodding and gesturing randomly at you “well… we will need his help to get Kattegat back” Ivar admitted and half expected you to tell him how it wasn’t worth it, how it didn’t matter. But you didn’t, you just nodded, making Ivar frown “you… are okay with me taking back Kattegat by force?” he asked surprised, seeing you smile softly “Ivar, I may not have known Aslaug for long, but after my own mother died, she was the only one who I ever came close to loving like that again” you explained, Ivar almost smiled softly at your words, knowing that Aslaug had meant just as much to you as to him, Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd’s unwillingness to get revenge sickened him, but at least he had you on his side in this, and everything else, he thought.

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You slowly walked into the cell where the bishop was held, Ivar calmly walking in like he was just going grocery shopping, making you frown slightly. You looked at the bishop and awkwardly waved “hello” you said, glancing at Ivar who glanced at you and then the bishop, saying something in a language you didn’t recognize, though it sounded a lot like Latin. He said your name, gestured to you and then the bishop glared even more at you, saying a word you recognized, ‘Heathen’, and then another word you didn’t recognize. Ivar glared at him, a small dagger in hand when you stopped him “n-no, it’s okay. I understood that word, but it’s okay” you said, giving Ivar a sweet smile as he looked at you shocked, but not as shocked as he put on, he knew you by now, after all. You turned back to the bishop, Heahmund, and kneeled in front of him, sitting on the cold ground, glancing once again to Ivar for reassurance before back at Heahmund. “Hello, I have heard some things about you. Where I’m from is… different. Believing in Jesus Christ is very common but most don’t believe in anything, actually. Or they believe in multiple or one completely different” you explained, Ivar translating what he knew, the bishop eyeing you with suspicion, cautious of you, with good reason, you were on the enemy’s side after all. “I just wanted to introduce myself, properly. I will be around Ivar a lot, and you will be around him probably more. I just thought introducing myself was better than having you make assumptions about me without knowing me” you explained, Ivar still translating. Heahmund seemed to accept your words, hesitantly bowing his head, saying something and then glancing at Ivar with a glare before looking back to you, something about his gaze seemed more… respectful, somehow.

Ivar gritted his teeth and you frowned at him “what did he say?” you asked, Ivar hesitating before eventually answering, though rather reluctantly as he probably wanted nothing more than to cut Heahmund’s head off “nothing worth repeating” he gritted out and looked at you, his whole face softening as he nodded towards the door, making you get up and walk towards the door, Ivar casting one lsat glare at Heahmund before leaving him once again alone in his chains.

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You watched Ivar get another tattoo, you were both fascinated by the tattoos he got and confused, you had no idea what some of them meant, others you only had an inclination about. Ivar smirked at you as he straightened up, making you frown at him as the tattoo artist, I guess you could call him, took a step back, beginning to clean his tools and pack them away. “What kind do you want?” he asked casually, making your eyes go wide as you watched his calm, amused expression “me? A tattoo? I-I’m not sure” you said with a smile and a nervous laugh, Ivar chuckling lightly “you do not have to, but if you want, all you have to do is ask, dove” he said with a smirk, your cheeks filling with heat at the nickname. Ever since you came back during the battle, ever since that first time, he had every now and then called you nicknames, mostly dove or love, and it filled your stomach with butterflies, making you feel both giddy and anxious at the same time, hell, sometimes even separately. You shrugged, thinking it over before deciding, what the hell, you only live once, right? Or in your case, once in the modern world and probably the rest of your life in the past. You shrugged and sighed “Odín has two ravens, right?” you asked and Ivar smirked, saying something quietly to the man who had been tattooing him and then he got up, sitting down on a crate next to him as he watched you get up and hesitantly roll up your left sleeve, exhaling heavily “so… maybe one of the ravens, just the outline…?” you asked and the man nodded, beginning to prepare to make another tattoo when Ivar jumped in “which one do you want?” he asked and you shrugged “I don’t know..” you said nervously, tattoos hurt, right?

Ivar noticed your anxiety and couldn’t help but admire how cute you were, leg bouncing, teeth nibbling at your lower lip, brows furrowed. Gods, you were beautiful, so beautiful, and you acted like you didn’t even know, but you had to know, right? No one could be so beautiful and not know it. “I will have the other” he said, making you turn and look at him with a small relieved smile “you will? Which one?” you asked and Ivar shrugged “there are two ravens, Huginn and Muninn. Memory and Mind, which one will you choose?” he asked and you thought about it before smiling at him “Memory, so I’ll never forget” you explained, Ivar feeling his heart flutter at your words, you wanted to remember, remember him, remember all you have gone through, with or without him. “You will have Mind, because of that clever mind of yours” you added, Ivar forcing a smirk to make you believe he found it amusing, when in truth he couldn’t get your beauty out of his mind, the mind you so adored. You wanted to remember your time here, in case you ever somehow got back to where you came from. The thought saddened Ivar, his smirk fading into a sollem look as you began to get your tattoo, your attention off of him. His eyes took in every single detail of you, as though you could vanish into thin air. You didn’t come from here, what if one day you suddenly woke up back where you came from? In your time? Would you still have the memory of him? Of this moment where you sat, giddy and anxious at the same time, wincing every so often but with a smile on your face as you watched the outline of a raven be tattooed on the inside of your wrist. Ivar began to feel a sense of envy, envy because one day, you’d probably return home, you’d return home and marry someone who deserved you, not an angry cripple who could not please you. But Ivar was a selfish man, he never wanted you to go home… not once had you talked of how you missed it, not once have you said that you longed for it, perhaps you were better off here? With him?

Ivar was brought out of his trance when you called his name, smiling at him as he looked adorable with his half-shocked and half ‘I was definitely paying attention to what you were saying… I think?’ look. “Ivar? It is your turn” you announced and got up, holding your sore wrist without touching the new tatto there, under the raven was the name Huginn in runes. Ivar sat down and instructed the tattoo to be filled out instead of yours, which was just an outline. “Don’t know how you can ask for that, it hurts like a bitch” you admitted, Ivar chuckling and then frowning at you, careless about the needle that was literally being bashed into his arm “what does that mean?” he asked curiously, making you grimace a bit “it’s actually a uh… a sort of bad word, I guess? It’s definitely not something you call someone, especially not a woman. It’s real meaning is a female dog, but it’s become more of a bad word, something you usually call someone to offend them” you explained, Ivar frowning and looking off into the distance for a second, thinking it over before looking at you, more confused “why would you call a woman a female dog?” he asked, confused, and you couldn’t help but laugh “some men do it, some women do it. It’s very offensive” you explained further, Ivar giving a small ‘hm’ in return before shrugging, much to the silent dismay of the man tattooing him, his movements halting before resuming once Ivar was still again.

You gave Ivar a wide grin as he got up, instantly grabbing his hand and raising it, turning his right wrist so you could see it. You grinned up at him and Ivar had already forgotten how he almost tipped over with you grabbing his wrist, your smile sending butterflies into his stomach. He almost leaned down, almost tried to press a kiss to your beautiful lips but before he could even try, a man shouted at him that they were ready to move, making him groan and grit his teeth, Gods he hated sailing... and interruptions.

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You grimaced as you watched Ivar try to act as though he wasn’t sea sick. You quietly moved over to him, sitting across from him with a frown, catching his attention “what?” he snapped, you could practically see the vomit in his throat, making you sigh “distractions help… I-I don’t have anything for seasickness” you whispered, knowing that admitting as a viking, Ivar Ragnarson, no less, that he was seasick would not be good, Ivar clenching his jaw and looking away from you, his eyes nervous scanning his men before going back to you “what would you have me do, hm? I am Viking, (Y/N)” he hissed and you thought for a second, hesitating before getting up, managing to not flatten him as the waves made the boat tilt ever so slightly. You sat down close to him, already noticing how tense he was. You sighed and took his hand in yours, flattening his palm against your own, palm facing yours, the top of his hand bared for you. You traced his bone structure with your other hand, fingers gently running across his hand, you didn’t say anything, nor look at him as you continued to gently trace his bones, humming each time your fingers went over a joint or something like that, Ivar’s eyes staring at you in slight amazement, adoration written all over his face as his eyes studied you. You were both broken out of your trance when one of his men announced that they were almost at their destination.

You turned and smiled at Ivar “still seasick?” you asked in a whisper, giggling at how he looked shocked. You got up and sat down by Hvitserk, taking some of the food he was eating and taking a bite yourself, earning a snarky remark from Hvitserk that made the both of you laugh. Ivar’s eyes stayed on you, a dazed expression on his face as he watched you, admired you, the crinkles at the corner of your eyes as you smiled or laughed, how your lips parted when you spoke, your voice carried all the way to the other side of the longboat to him as you spoke with Hvitserk.

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@not-another-viking-fanfic-blog

#Ivar x Reader #Ivar x Modern!Reader #Vikings fic #Healer fics

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disasterofastory · 3 years

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Photoshoot (Harald x Reader)

Photoshoot modern!Harald x Reader Warnings: none

Flowers are often used for photoshoots, and Person A gets hired to arrange the flowers for one, but they can’t help getting nervous around the model, Person B. - from THIS prompt list

Everybody knows Harald Finehair’s name in the town. He is a kind and good-tempered man with the only flower shop in the small town he lives in. Everyone goes to him if they want to surprise their loved ones or when Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day are at the corner. He has regulars, and he works with a few wedding planners who give him enough income, so he doesn’t have to worry about his financials.

So he doesn’t even understand what he is doing here.

It’s his brother’s fault.

After their troublesome teenage years, both of them found their path in different ways. His little brother, Halfdan, found his passion as a photographer. He travels around the world, taking breathtaking pictures for magazines and projects. Harald found his dreams in his own business. He started with flowers and last year he transformed a small part of his shop to sell coffee and pastries to the customers.

It was enough for him.

Until his idiot of a brother came home for a few weeks.

Halfdan came up with the idea to increase the reputation of the shop. He invited models to his small studio to take pictures of them with Harald’s flowers. Of course, the photos are amazing and perfect, and his older brother can’t be anything but grateful, but the whole photoshoot starts to get on Harald’s nerves.

Why?

Because of you.

You are young and beautiful. You live in the town, and the only reason you are here because you've known Halfdan for years, and he met you somewhere. He invited you to the photoshoot, and you found it fun, so you agreed.

The first moment Harald laid his eyes on you, he knew he is damned. You smiled at him, reaching out to shake his hand. Your skin was soft, and you smelled like his first flowers in spring. You wore plain jeans and a white top till Halfdan gave you different clothes to put on.

“She grew up into a beautiful woman, yes?” Halfdan asks his brother while you disappear to get changed the third time.

“I don’t remember her,” Harald answers. “But yes, she is beautiful.”

Halfdan smirks, trying to hide it behind his camera. He knows his brother. He is smitten with you. Harald's anxiousness and fidgetiness could mean the excitement in others’ eyes, but he can’t fool his brother. Halfdan knows you make his brother nervous like a schoolboy.

“She had a crush on you back then,” he says, glancing to the man next to him, who almost gives himself whiplash as he turns to look at his brother.

“What do you mean?” Harald croaks, trying to be calm and collected.

“What I said,” Halfdan replies. “She had a crush on you, but she was just a little girl. You didn’t look at her twice.”

“Well…” Harald hums. “She is beautiful now.”

You step out in front of them in a white, wavy summer dress with a straw hat on your head. You look exactly as how Harald imagines the summers. Bright and light with a happy smile and shining eyes.

“You will be perfect for this,” Halfdan says before Harald can say anything.

The older brother is enamored with your look and the way you move and laugh as Halfdan positions you the way he wants.

“Harald,” he mentions his brother, turning back to the man. “Would you help?” He smirks.

Under other circumstances, Harald would flip him off, but he doesn’t want to seem crude in front of you.

He starts to arrange his flowers around you while his younger brother moves back behind his camera. You stand still, smiling and watching Harald.

“They are beautiful,” you tell him after a few moments.

You stand in front of a plastic stonewall with flowers hanging around you.

“Thank you,” he says before he grimaces at his own words. “I mean, it’s not my…”

“Just a thank you is enough,” you interrupt his mumbles with a soft smile on your face.

You remember the man from your young teenage years when you were nothing but an annoying little sister, and Harald probably didn’t even notice you. Thinking back, you almost cringe at your own actions as you tried to grab his attention. He was a rascal, the typical bad boy who is almost every girl’s dream. You imagined scenarios where he looks at you and falls in love with you, and he changes to be better just for you.

But now he is here, and it seems like every focus of his is on you. He changed, of course. He got older with long, braided hair and a beard, but his eyes still have the cheeky twinkle you remember so much. The crush you had for the man has never died completely, and now that you are so close to him again, every long-forgotten feeling for him comes back to life once again.

The day you spend with the brothers is pleasant and fun as you expected when you accepted Halfdan’s offer. They ask you about your life (mostly Harald) and joke around (mostly Halfdan). You have a feeling Halfdan tries to play the matchmaker for his brother and you, but you don’t want to get your hopes up for nothing. Harald is nice to you but doesn’t matter how much you want to imagine more behind his words, you know it’s just the little girl speaking in you.

The photos are beautiful, and with Halfdan’s work, they get better when he sends it to you after a few days. He didn’t use much Photoshop, or at least not in the wrong way because it’s still you in the pictures with your flaws. He mostly played with the lights and colors and, despite you feel beautiful as you look at yourself on the screen, the focus is on the blooming flowers around you.

Weeks go by, Halfdan moves to his next destination, and you stay with the uncertainty. You really want to see Harald again, but you don’t want to seem like the little girl you were years ago. You try to tell yourself it’s just your wish to Harald to see you as a woman, but it doesn’t really help you with your feelings.

So one day, you had enough of yourself, and with newfound bravery, you make your way to the small shop you know Harald owns.

There are fresh flowers and lush, green plants behind the windows, and you can see the small coffee shop from the entrance with the new employee. You smile at him as a greeting before your gaze wanders around the small place till you find the man you are searching for. Harald is busy with an older lady, so he doesn’t notice your presence. His smile is friendly, and his deep voice almost suppresses the radio in the background. He wears a plain black shirt with worn jeans.

You don’t want to disturb him, so you go to the coffee shop to buy yourself something.

“How can I help you?” The young boy asks with a big smile. His dirty blonde hair is in a messy bun, and the shop’s logo is on his black shirt.

After you give him your order, you thank him for the drink and start to wander around the flowers and plants. Everything looks so beautiful, but you know you can’t keep them alive. You tried it a million times already.

“Y/N?” You hear your name behind you after a while.

As you turn around, you meet Harald’s surprised but happy smile.

“Hey,” you smile at him, the warm cup is still in your hand. “I just thought I would pop in.”

“I’m happy to see you,” he nods to your coffee. “Do you like it?”

“It’s delicious,” you nod, sipping from the liquid.

“Hvitserk knows what he is doing,” he answers, glancing at the guy who is already busy with other customers.

“I saw Halfdan’s pictures,” you say. “They are beautiful.”

“They are,” he nods. “Unfortunately, he has to go. That moron can’t stay in one place for too long.”

You laugh at his words, thinking about something you can talk about with him. You are too afraid of his opinion of you. Maybe he still thinks of you as a little girl, and you just embarrass yourself.

The awkward silence starts to get too long.

“Maybe I shouldn’t say this,” he breaks the silence, and you almost sight from the relief. “But I really enjoyed the day with you.”

“Me too,” you nod, smiling. “You and your brother changed a lot in a good way.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “We needed the change. But what I want to say or rather ask is… would you like to meet with me sometimes? We could grab a drink or something.”

“As a date?” You ask him. The hope in your voice is too obvious.

“Yes, if you want,” he nods, waiting for your answer.

“I would like to go on a date with you,” you nod, the smile on your face is too big, but you don’t care. Harald is handsome, and as you could see the other day, he is kind and funny. The little girl in you screams from happiness because she gets the date she longed for.

#harald finehair x reader #harald x reader #harald/reader #harald finehair imagine #vikings imagine #vikings x reader #modern vikings #modern au #modern harald finehair #flower shop au

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duchessofostergotlands · 3 years

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I have seen numerous posts regarding the Coronation ceremony for the BRF but do have any idea about Coronation ceremonies for the other European RF. I know a couple of years ago now there was a new Emperor in Japan I believe it was. But I haven't heard or seen any pictures/videos detailing ceremonies for Norway, Denmark, or Sweden.

Thanks Jess for always being willing to answer my questions.

I always respond well to compliments haha. So most royal families have moved towards more low key ceremonies which are not termed coronations anymore, they're usually a proclamation or an enthronement. You will not see most of the European monarchs wearing the Crown anymore. Full coronations where the monarch wears the crown jewels or regalia are more common outside of Europe, for example Thailand had a full coronation in 2019:

Monaco- The last ceremony was Prince Albert in 2005. They celebrate in typically glitzy Monaco style so grand but more modern and less traditional than the Brits. There was a mass where he actually became Prince in day wear but there was also a firework display. Foreign royals did attend and there was a tiara event

Spain- The last ceremony was King Felipe in 2014. This was very low key, as to be expected from a monarchy where there is a huge scrutiny on their finances. Felipe had a simple swearing in ceremony followed by a military parade and a reception. All day dress. No foreign royals attended (I think Anne Marie did but she's family).

Belgium- The last ceremony was King Philippe in 2013. This was also quite low key. There was a Te Deum, he had a swearing in, and there was a parade. All day dress, no other royals.

The Netherlands- The last ceremony was King Willem Alexander in 2013. This was a bit more grand than some of the ones above. There was a procession and an oath in evening dress and tiaras with WA in a mantle but he paired it with a day suit rather than military wear which is a bit more casual. Then there was a concert. Foreign royals attended

Luxembourg- The last ceremony was Grand Duke Henri in 2000. Another kind of mid way one. Military uniform and evening wear but no tiaras. They took an oath and there was a service of thanksgiving. Foreign royals did attend but I don't think as many, mostly the Benelux ones.

Denmark- The last ceremony was Queen Margrethe all the way back in 1972. Proving once again that Scandinavia is ahead of most other royal families, Margrethe didn't have a coronation. She was proclaimed Queen from the balcony of the palace and that was it. No foreign royals were in attendance.

Norway- The last ceremony was King Harald in 1991. They have a consecration now so there is a religious element but it's not quite a coronation, which was done away with as not being right for Norway. The Crown Jewels were present but weren't worn. They wore formal dress and tiaras and no foreign royals attended as far as I'm aware. This happened a little bit after the last King died but there was also a proclamation right after his death to mark the accession.

Sweden- The last ceremony was King Carl Gustaf in 1973. There was a very simple enthronement ceremony. The Crown Jewels were present but not worn. No foreign royals attended and it was military dress code. CG also draped the mantle over the throne rather than wearing it.

#ask #anon #general royals #coronations #coronation

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bonnini · 3 years

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Well I promised you a post about my bi Geoffrey Martewall headcanons so here it is guys <3

So…as I previously mentioned in a tag under one of @agapantoblu's posts, I've been half-seriously headcanoning Geoffrey Martewall a.k.a. the best character in the Hypervesum series as a clueless bisexual for... well, for some time. Let's say a year and a half. I've never bothered actually sharing these headcanons online because I didn't really have a clear idea for an actual argument in support of this claim of mine, but now I’m finally ready to put the all the reasons why I get extra-strong bisexual vibes from Geoffrey Martewall into words. Beware…it’s a lot of words :’’)

Exhibit A: Geoffrey and women

1.1. Geoffrey’s taste in women is just too good

Listen. LISTEN. Our man’s taste in women is IMPECCABLE: he could, as Brianna said herself, have chosen to take any young noble maiden as his wife, but he decided to go for a woman that 1) is a couple years older than him 2) is not noble at all and, you know, used to be just a poor paesant before coming to Châtel-Argent 3) already has a son who was fathered by a French knight to whom she was never married and that she had to raise as a teen single mom 4) at the time of their first meeting had a crush on his current worst enemy. LISTEN!!!!!!!! Geoffrey’s taste in women is suspiciously good, way too good, in fact, to be that of a medieval straight guy. I mean…Ian, a man who comes from the 21st century, fell for the textbook angelic maiden, while Geoffrey literally did not even bother looking around for some young blushing bride and just decided that the hot milf who threatened him with a pitchfork in book 2 was his first and best choice. What an Absolute Fucking King. This choice of his is, in my opinion, very telling of the kind of view he has of romance and women in general.

Which brings me to the next point, namely:

1.2. Geoffrey appears to have an attitude towards women and a view of womanhood that are significantly more modern than those of an average knight of his time

Is it just me or is Geoffrey actually the one with the most… modern mindset out of all the knights starring in the saga? There are a couple of specific scenes that kind of make me think of him as an outlier among his peers, and although some of those are definitely there for the purpose of showing us that Martewall is indeed a rather peculiar knight, others contribute to creating the picture of a character that is almost… out of place in the 13th century?

Allow me to expand a bit further on the “Geoffrey and women” topic: we saw how chivalrous and respectful Geoffrey was towards an unconscious and injured Brianna. First he made sure her son was comfortable with him warming her up using his own body, and reassured him he meant no disrespect by removing her clothes; then, he proceeded to strip her in the most methodical and detached way possible, which let us know Geoffrey respects a woman’s body and modesty the way any proper, courteous medieval man would. But then there’s another, and in my opinion far more interesting, instance in which Geoffrey is seen interacting with a woman: I’m talking about his brief conversation with Blanche of Castile in book 3. Here we see 1) how Geoffrey treats women he is not attracted to (“not attracted to” as in: women he has no interest in romancing), and 2) to what degree he actually respects female authority.

Our first introduction to Blanche is the scene in which Guillaume, Ian and Henri de Bar are talking about her right before the audience in Paris, during which we learn that the vast majority of noblemen do not take her opinions seriously and do not appreciate seeing her talk during political debates. Even Henri de Bar, although he does not mean to be insolent, raises an eyebrow at the thought of a woman participating in conversations that concern military strategy, while Guillaume seems almost amused at Ian’s heartfelt defence of her speeches. Which is why Geoffrey’s brief interaction with her stands out so much: when she starts talking about the war in England with him, he carefully listens to her as if she were just another male superior officer: he does not appear even slightly surprised by her competence, he does not try to dumb down the topic of discussion, he listens carefully to what she is saying, he offers his opinion only when she asks for it and he answers her questions in the most straightforward way possible. At no point during the conversation does he ever attempt to pull the condescending “with all due respect, madame…” to correct or contradict her statements. He is not in courteous knight mode, he is in soldier mode, and is unfazed by the fact that the one he is discussing logistics and war strategy with is a delicate looking princess. Once again, the author is fleshing out Geoffrey’s character by having the protagonist and point of view character draw a direct comparison between him and other men. Martewall does not simply respect women as in “oh I’m a proper knight and I use my blade to protect defenceless maidens”, he actually, genuinely respects women.

Which in my opinion is such an interesting facet of his values and personality: in the second half of book 2, Ian notices how thoroughly Harald Martewall managed to drill the code of chivalry into his son’s head, and remarks on the fact that the Martewalls are all perfect examples of the True Old School Knights. Both Harald and Geoffrey are the embodiment of the honourable, unyielding, upright warrior trope, and they perfectly fit the image we modern people conjure in our minds when we think of a knight of the Middle Ages. This specific aspect of Geoffrey’s set of values gives his character a strong, let’s say “old-fashioned” connotation, and yet said set of values seems to come from an internal source rather than rely on tradition and external rules. He, for example, got rid of his helm and shield when he saw his adversary in combat was not fully equipped, but he also willingly assisted the Dauphin in taking over England despite having previously sworn an oath of loyalty to John Plantagenet, since his sense of honour compelled him to aid the man who provided him with the help he needed to get his home back. Geoffrey is way more likely to base his choices on what his own moral compass compels him to do rather than resort to convention and tradition to tell right from wrong. This makes Geoffrey a perfect blend of both old and modern qualities, and in the context of his relationship with women he tends to lean quite heavily on his more modern side.

Let’s go back to discussing his first introduction to Brianna for a second: he witnesses Brianna express her unrequited attraction to Ian, flirt with him and even mock-kiss him straight on the lips, and yet not only does that not make Geoffrey respect her any less, it also does not concern him at all later in book 3 when the story hints at the fact that he might have an interest in taking her as his wife. This is a rather unusual attitude! I mean, even the exuberant Etienne de Sancerre, who has shown an overt preference for feisty and confident women, grumbles and protests in jealousy when his wife Donna and Daniel greet each other with a hug while out in public, deeming the gesture to be inappropriate. What I’m trying to say here is that this is a man who is waaaaay ahead of his peers in regards to his view of women and womanhood, and who also appears to be very confident in his masculinity (so confident, in fact, that the thought of having to “put women in their place” never once crosses his mind), hence why I keep sensing the most excellent kind of bisexual vibes coming from him.

Exhibit B: Geoffrey and men

2.1 Jerome and Geoffrey’s friendship makes NO sense

And I mean it. Yes, we do read about Ian wondering how two people with such different sets of core values (ok maybe Jerome lacked core values all together lol) could have ever been friends, which means that yes, readers are in fact meant to notice how misguided Geoffrey is in his commitment to honour this bond of friendship and avenge Jerome’s death, but the more I think about this, the more I convince myself that this whole situation is, in fact…really weird.

Let’s start from the beginning: so, Geoffrey’s anger over Jerome’s death is the main source of conflict between him and Ian, and it puts the plot of book 2 in motion. Now, we never actually saw Geoffrey and Jerome talk to each other in book 1 (because at the time of its drafting the author had not yet planned on writing a sequel for it) so all the available details about their relationship (mind you, there aren’t that many) have to be gleaned from Geoffrey’s recollections present in book 2 and pieced back together in order to get a clearer picture. Another fact that should be noted is that we also never saw Jerome talk about Geoffrey (again, because Geoffrey wasn’t really that relevant to the plot of book 1): Geoffrey’s words are the only source available when it comes to trying to reconstruct what their interactions might have been like, which means that our perspective on their friendship is going to be inevitably, extremely one-sided.

So here we go, book 2, chapter 5: Geoffrey has decided to abduct Ian and Daniel and drag them to his home in England to get some answers and avenge Jerome’s death and he currently has Ian at his mercy, so he immediately starts asking questions. He asks why he currently is not home, he asks why his brother has no knowledge of his whereabouts, he asks if his name really is Jean Marc de Ponthieu, and these are all very dangerous questions: they pose a real threat to Ian’s credibility. But then, when Geoffrey asks why Jerome was so certain he was an imposter, Ian breathes in relief, because that means Geoffrey knows nothing about the ambush in Couronne.

But. Wait a second.

How could Geoffrey possibly not know about Couronne? That’s how Derangale KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that Ian and Jean de Ponthieu were never the same person! Dude was busy forging incriminating letters left and right with Ponthieu’s help??? He was the one who helped Ponthieu and Renaud De Dammartin set Isabeau up to be assaulted by Claude de Dammartin??? Geoffrey explicitly says Jerome was obsessed with Ian, so Derangale must have talked his ear OFF with all his incessant rambling about him being an imposter…and Geoffrey did not bother asking him about the details of this weird doppelganger theory of his ONCE? We know how sharp and observant Geoffrey is. We know he is perceptive, and straightforward in voicing his opinions, and not easy to fool. We know he is the type of guy who likes to ask direct questions and get believable, clear answers in return, so he MUST have asked Jerome why he was so sure about the illegitimacy of Ian’s identity. How did Jerome answer? Did he make up a lie on the spot? Geoffrey is equipped with a very functional built-in anti-nonsense super-sensor (the one that allowed him to immediately spot all the places in which Ian’s deception and intentional gaslighting were coming off at their seams even after Ian had managed to convince Geoffrey’s own father that he was Jean de Ponthieu’s second-born son), so if that was the case – if Jerome had indeed tried to make up some story about why he knew who the real Jean de Ponthieu was – Geoffrey (in theory) would have easily been able to tell that he was being lied to.

Do we then have to assume Jerome simply replied with “I just know”? Well…the text implies that this is the most plausible option: as Ian and Geoffrey’s heated conversation goes on, we realize that the only reason Geoffrey believes Ian to be an imposter is…because Jerome said so. And this, in my opinion, says a lot about both Geoffrey’s relationship with Derangale and his current emotional state. Let’s really think about what this little kidnapping stunt of his must look like from an outside perspective: Geoffrey just decided to abduct a man whose identity has been publicly confirmed by Guillaume de Ponthieu, one of the most powerful men on French soil, who also happens to be a relative of king Philippe Auguste (which means Ian has ties to the royal family as well lol???), who ALSO confirmed that Ian is the youngest Ponthieu brother and PERSONALLY BESTOWED the title of Faucon du Roi upon him. Geoffrey does not (currently) have a shred of proof against Ian: he just chose to believe that Ian is some random foreigner who has been allowed to pretend to be a nobleman and marry Isabeau de Montmayeur by the count of Ponthieu and the king of France because that’s what Jerome believed. Jerome stood alone in front of the entire French court, subjecting himself to ridicule, to denounce Ian as an imposter and Guillaume as a liar (and readers know he is 100% right, but look at this from the perspective of one of the characters who are not involved in this intrigue), which are such far-fetched, absurd, ludicrous accusations, even the closest of Jerome’s friends would have demanded at least some evidence in order to give his version of the story some credit. And yet Geoffrey, who has not been given even one crumb of information on the real Jean de Ponthieu’s actual political alignment, simply decided to stand with him against the rest of the world.

And then, Ian starts answering Geoffrey’s questions by telling him all the vile things Jerome did to him, his family and his friends (while still carefully avoiding the Couronne topic): he tells him of his sadism, villany and criminal actions, and Geoffrey does not believe a single word of what he’s saying. He straight up calls all these accusations lies, and he urges Ian to stop insulting a knight of England his peer and a man of honour deserving of respect. Geoffrey refuses to listen to any negative remark Ian has to make and threatens him with violence when he insists on calling Jerome an unworthy man. “Jerome wasn’t a liar”, he says; “he was my friend, and you killed him”. This is exactly what I meant when I said their friendship strikes me as extremely weird: I mean come on, really? Derangale was a textbook piece of shit. He was violent, vengeful, and arrogant, and yet Geoffrey describes him as a “man of honour”??? It almost seems as if he and Ian are not even talking about the same person??? The sadistic felon Ian met in Cairs is nothing like the friend Geoffrey has such a high opinion of. Which can only mean one thing, namely that when he was with Geoffrey, Jerome was on his best behaviour. And in order to have adapted his behaviour to fit Geoffrey’s expectations of a good and honourable friend, Derangale must have had a very clear picture of the kind of person his “friend” was. Jerome knew Geoffrey would never have allowed all that malicious shit to happen under his watch, so he decided to keep all his plotting a secret from him. Geoffrey never was Jerome’s accomplice in aiding Renaud de Dammartin, Ferrand de Flandre and Jean de Ponthieu steal the Montmayeur fief for king John, and therefore has no reason to believe Ian’s words.

There are two things about this situation that strike me as particularly weird. First of all: Derangale wasn’t just witholding information from Geoffrey, he was also hiding his true nature from him. And Geoffrey…never noticed? Geoffrey, who can usually smell bullshit and deception from a mile away, who has no difficulty in telling a man of honour from a felon, who normally would not bother wasting his time being friends with such an insufferable prick, never managed to guess the true nature of Jerome’s character? Huh??? And secondly: why exactly did Derangale ask for help from a guy he was so sure he would never have been able to turn into one of his accomplices he had to actively keep parts of himself and his plans hidden for months up to the battle in Bouvines? What we know, thanks to Harald Martewall, is that Jerome was the first to reach out to Geoffrey back in book 1: apparently, the two of them used to be friends as young boys, then stopped seeing each other for a couple of years until Derangale decided to pick up the phone and give him a call. Geoffrey was in England, minding his own business, when Jerome contacted him to ask if he was willing to join him in Béarne. He, as sir Harald recalls, “was busy raising a cavalry troop for Ferrand De Flandre, and wanted my last-born as champion in a tournament”. It is not difficult to guess why Derangale asked specifically for Geoffrey to join his faction. Martewall is, simply put, the baddest bitch in the area: he is easily the scariest and most skilled warrior out of all the knights we get to meet in the saga, and an experienced tournament champion is precisely what Jerome needs for the little show he has in plan for Béarne. What I really want to know here is: couldn’t Derangale have called for literally any other English knight to help him win? Why did he risk enrolling a guy he knew would never have approved of his schemes and totally could have kicked his ass if he ever found out about his misconduct? Couldn’t he have called for a couple more champions who would have been overjoyed at the opportunity of beating the shit out of all those French knights? Why did it have to be just him and Geoffrey against the ENTIRETY of Philippe Auguste’s lineup? Why was he so confident in his ability to manipulate Geoffrey? Oh AND. This is an information that is nowhere to be found in the actual books but it is something I asked the author to confirm because I was just too curious: Geoffrey…did not have fun in Béarne, like at all. He did not care for the show Jerome wanted to put on, he did not enjoy participating in that display of strength and superiority, and he was grumpier than usual during the whole ordeal. So our man Jerome basically decided to rely exclusively on Geoffrey’s excellence and made him travel all the way to Béarne instead of putting together a slightly larger faction of fellows who could have maybe shared his immoral cause (like hello?????? it’s literally JUST the two of them against ALL the French nobles competing at the tournament lmfao??? I mean ok girl!!! give us drama! give us spectacle!) despite knowing that 1) he would have had to completely alter his behaviour around him 2) he could never have explained to him why he knew with absolute certainty Ian was an imposter and 3) Geoffrey would have intensely disliked being at the centre of theatrics. Like…I get that Geoffrey is your most skilled friend when it comes to the art of jousting, but… his presence is also a bit too inconvenient in this context? I mean really? You didn’t know any other knights in the area who could have been available as champions? You had to call for Geoffrey? Specifically for him? Haha girl ok! (oh and you also saved some of the custom higher quality blades you had made for your squadron to arm Geoffrey? Ok! Oh and you decided to pick Geoffrey as the other leader of your special squadron? Girl Ok!!! The guy would leave your ass in less than a second if he ever found out about your awful crimes so keeping him at your side is quite the risky move, but you do you I guess).

And another thing is, not only did Geoffrey hate every second of that charade, he (and this is also information that I got directly from the author) was downright shocked at Derangale’s unprompted act of violence against the young count of Grandpré… that was something that caught him completely off guard and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. It makes total sense for Geoffrey to feel this way, that’s very in character for him. What actually, really surprises me is Geoffrey’s reaction at hearing Ian mention this particular incident. You were there, says Ian, you saw Derangale attempt to kill a friend of mine with your own two eyes, and yet you insist on threatening me for calling him a criminal and an assassin. And that’s what finally prompts Geoffrey to lay hands on him. He silences him with a slap so violent it almost makes him fall on the ground. Geoffrey reacted with anger and disbelief when Ian was describing him heinous crimes that he never witnessed and did not believe to be true, but only resorted to physical violence when Ian forced him to acknowledge and condemn an action he actually saw Jerome commit. This brief scene alone is enough for me to confidently conclude that Geoffrey is, there are no other words fit to describe his current emotional state, deep in DENIAL. He hears an uncomfortable truth he has no way of denying, he lets that send him into a violent rage, he acts that violence out and then he ends the whole conversation there. He just. Leaves. And he repeats the same exact pattern of behaviour a second time! Book 2, chapter 12: Martewall starts to interrogate Daniel, who tells him about Derangale’s first attempt at kidnapping Isabeau AND manages to have one of his own men confirm his story. Then Geoffrey becomes visibly agitated, to the point he inadvertently breaks the rod he brought to beat information out of his prisoner in fucking two, CHANGES THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION ON PURPOSE, and then when Daniel insists on bringing the conversation back to Derangale’s crimes he draws his sword, points it at him in another fit of anger and then! He LEAVES!! AGAIN!!! Bro???????????? You keep saying you “want the truth” and yet when you finally get it you cut the conversation off because you don’t like what you’re hearing? Hello???

“You insist on defending him only because you do not want to admit you have been lied to and manipulated by him”, this is what Daniel says to Martewall’s face, and the most articulate rebuttal he is able to come up with on the spot is “that is not true”. He absolutely did not expect to be confronted with such merciless answers, and he has no idea how to cope with Ian and Daniel ripping into the image of the good and honourable Jerome that only exists in his mind, so he just rejects anything negative they have to say and breaks things like a moody teenager.

His behaviour is extremely erratic. For the entirety of the first half of book 2, Geoffrey is clearly not his usual self. His own father tells him he does not recognize him anymore. And when Sir Harald confronts him and makes an attempt at urging him to release Daniel, Geoffrey reacts with something I would almost describe as a…temper tantrum? Sir Harald’s request for an explanation from his son is more than legit: after all, he just learned from Daniel that Geoffrey decided to kidnap a renowned nobleman on a whim, without any evidence of his supposed crimes, WITHIN THE BORDERS OF HIS FIEF IN FRENCH LANDS. That could get them in SERIOUS trouble with both his brother Guillaume de Ponthieu and Philippe Auguste himself, as Salisbury will later remark on. I mean, this action is not only dishonourable, as Sir Harald will be very quick to point out, but also extremely stupid. And Geoffrey is not stupid. Like, at all. He knows when to shut up, his rage is usually under check, he is not prone to acting out in anger or taking rash decisions. But here, Geoffrey is letting his emotions run rampant. His father is being perfectly reasonable, and he replies quite disrespectfully by stating that he is not a young boy anymore and that he will not allow for any reproach o interference on his part.

It should be noted that Geoffrey’s troubled state of mind is not solely the result of Jerome’s death. In fact, in chapter 12, Geoffrey makes it clear why he is so angry and frustrated. He lays out all of his reasons to his father:

“I’ve always done my duty and I lost my honour because of those to whom I owed my loyalty. I fought loyally until the very end, I paid my defeat with imprisonment, only to discover at my release that my name is associated to those of a friend deemed a felon and a king judged a coward; I return to my homeland and I end up on a list of traitors because of you! I am forced to be subject to the last two accusations, but the first…that one I intend to acquit myself from with any means necessary. At this point, I have already lost my dignity as a knight and you are the last person who can reproach me for it, since you are the one who dealt me the final blow”.

Geoffrey’s words reveal that he is also doing all of this for himself. He is now more desperate than ever to prove Jerome was always in the right, since this seems to be the only means of coping with the loss of his precious honour. The thought of having been friends with a felon of this magnitude is something Geoffrey could never, ever tolerate, because what would this say about him as a person? This explains the state of denial he currently is in: he has done something he would normally see as despicable by kidnapping Ian in his own lands, but he could excuse acting like a vulgar bandit if only he managed to force a confession out of Ian and avenge Jerome’s death (have I already mentioned Geoffrey has NO business being mad about Jerome meeting his demise at Ian’s hands? Dude was killed in fair combat. On a battlefield. Ian did not assassinate him or anything of that sort, there simply are NO good reasons as for why Geoffrey could ever want to “avenge” his friend’s death?? like there’s literally nothing to avenge here??? Lol???). And although Geoffrey is indeed defending Jerome’s honour because he feels that his crimes, if proven true, could reflect badly on himself, Geoffrey’s words still betray real attachment and a genuine feeling of affection for Jerome. Ian himself will later recognize their bond as valid by directly comparing it to the sentiment of friendship he shares with Daniel. At the time of Ian’s abduction, Geoffrey did not yet know that he would eventually be forced to fight yet another war once he’d finally reach his home: at that point in the story, Geoffrey’s motives for taking Ian and Daniel as prisoners had little to do with him wanting to gain back the honour he now feels his father tore from him by ordering him to side with him against their king. The primary motivation for his disreputable conduct in chapters 4 to 10 was, in my opinion, grief.

Another thing that I find extremely interesting and that in a way contradicts what I mentioned above about Geoffrey not being able to tolerate the thought of having been friends with a criminal, is that once he starts to come to terms with the proof of Jerome’s misconduct…he never disavows their friendship. What he says once he finally accepts Ian as his friend and lets go of Jerome’s obsession is: “I did everything in my power to honour our friendship, going even beyond common sense”. He never tries to claim they were never really friends or proclaim he wants to cut all ties with such a man. And towards the end of book 3, when Geoffrey and Ian are discussing what Ian’s exile really implicates and Ian is finally forced to admit he never was Jean de Ponthieu, Geoffrey all of a sudden brings Derangale into their conversation to reflect on how Jerome was right all along and how happy he is to learn that he at least did not lie to him about this one specific thing. Well, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I was expecting him to focus on the sheer amount of lies he had been fed by…you know, Ian, the friend who happens to be alive and whom he is currently confronting. He does not even seem interested in asking Ian to explain himself, it is Ian who apologises to him, completely unprompted. They were having a conversation about Philippe Auguste and Guillaume de Ponthieu wielding the power to destroy his life, and after several beats of silence and intense consideration, what Geoffrey decided to say out loud was “I’m happy Jerome didn’t lie to me about you”? Ummmmmmm ok??????????? Lying to him certainly was not the worst thing Jerome has ever done? What about the many crimes he committed against Ian, his friends and his family? What I’m trying to say here is that Daniel’s argument about Geoffrey having been manipulated by Jerome must have cut deep, since here he is, bringing this up again. Derangale died more than two years ago, and Geoffrey already gave up on trying to redeem his honour and reputation, but he appears to be still in the middle of the process of learning to truly let him go. Dealing with the idea of having been deceived in such a cold way by a close friend to whom he though he owed unwavering loyalty is proving to be challenging. I might be delusional but I can only make sense of the fact Geoffrey brought Jerome into their conversation about Ian only to briefly touch on a strictly personal matter that concerned his own feelings and his private relationship with Ian’s old archenemy if I assume Geoffrey was, at this point in time, still dealing with some very intense and complicated feelings (….furthermore…………it doesn’t…really…make sense…for Geoffrey to be happy about Jerome telling him that Ian’s identity was a hoax…since the whole point of telling him that…was getting his help in destroying Ian and not really “being honest” with him…like…Geoffrey, love, why are you so desperately hanging on to these miniscule scraps of “““honest and genuine interactions”””, why do you still treasure this literal MICROSCOPIC CRUMB of “““sincerity””” on Jerome’s part…hello…………………???). Sorry but this whole Jerome/Geoffrey mess just exudes one-sided, unfulfilled and unacknowledged tenderness in copious amounts once you really start to read into it. My personal interpretation of the situation is that Geoffrey is having such a hard time trying to make sense of the extent of Derangale’s manipulation and condemning him as someone who was always undeserving of his friendship and devotion because he completely lacks the tools to properly analyse and interpret his own feelings on the matter.

2.2 Geoffrey and Ian vs Geoffrey and Jerome

I’m touching briefly on Ian and Geoffrey’s friendship dynamics in book 3 mainly because I think that their relationship will provide me with some good clues and parallels that could be of help in determining what Geoffrey was like when he was in Jerome’s company, since the third instalment in the series gives us such a wonderful and complete picture of the kind of friend Geoffrey is. Remember how Geoffrey immediately sided with Ian against Gant without asking for evidence against him and came to Ian’s rescue twice despite having very important businesses to attend to? Geoffrey has repeatedly shown that he has a tendency to be aggressively protective of his closest friends, to the point he has no problem resorting to extreme violence to ensure their safety (Ian, bleeding on the floor, gripping Geoffrey’s arm: “please tell me you took at least one of my assailants alive I’m going to need a witness???????” Geoffrey: “…” Ian: “…” The pile of corpses right behind them: “…” Geoffrey: “…sorry lol I kinda dealt with them in a bit of a heavy handed way” Ian: whimpers and collapses in his arms). Geoffrey’s attitude in regards to Ian’s enemies perfectly explains why he never had any qualms siding with Jerome against Ian despite the fact Derangale wasn’t telling him shit about the supposed evidence behind his outlandish claims. This is actually part of his regular pattern of behaviour: Geoffrey has consistently shown a thorough commitment towards undying trust and unconditional support through direct action. He might seem cold and aloof since he is never seen behave in an overtly friendly or approachable way when he is out in public (he also does not smile ONCE throughout the whole trilogy), but this right here is, in my opinion, a very affectionate man who is capable of forming true and intimate bonds with a handful of hand-picked men whose company he deeply treasures. Let’s talk about how Geoffrey U-turned at the speed of light to go back and help Ian corner Gant even though he was in the middle of carrying out an extremely important mission for Blanche of Castile. Let’s talk about how Derangale did not even have the time to fall to the ground after Ian delivered him the finishing blow, because Geoffrey literally teleported behind him to catch him, hoist him on his horse and take him to safety (let’s also talk about how Ian later found Derangale’s corpse among those of all the abandoned fallen soldiers the imperial army was not able to retrieve, and saw that his dead body had been laid on a shield with care, which means Geoffrey probably was the one responsible for preserving his dignity in death since we know for a fact he was there to hear Derangale’s last words and witness him die – I am literally about to start screaming please send help :)))))))). Do not let his grumpiness and harsh words fool you, Geoffrey is the most dedicated best friend another knight could ever ask for.

HOWEVER, the main difference between the two relationships I am comparing is that Geoffrey’s support of Ian is always unconditional, but never irrational in the same way his pursuit of revenge on Jerome’s behalf was, and at no point in the story does Geoffrey fail in evaluating Ian’s character or intentions. Furthermore, Ian’s gaslighting game was ON POINT in book 2, he was warping reality around Geoffrey like a damn magician, but Geoffrey never fully bought into his carefully crafted lies. And yet I am expected to believe that Derangale was such a skilled master manipulator he was able to conceal his true nature and agenda from Geoffrey for months? Hello??? PLEASE! Make it make sense!!! The ease with which Derangale was able to withold crucial information from him is extremely suspicious. Really? You mean to tell me Jerome Derangale had one of the least gullible people in the saga wrapped around his finger for years and never once slipped and misbehaved in front of him? Sorry I know at this point I must sound extremely redundant but Geoffrey’s selective blindness towards anything that concerns Derangale really is the weirdest thing ever, like, uh oh! Are you sure you didn’t catch any overly soft feelings for your bestie? So…I’m gonna say it: my theory on why Geoffrey’s behaviour was all over the place in the first chapters of book 2 is that he has always been completely unaware of the true nature and extent of his emotional attachment to Derangale, and this cluelessness of his contributed to worsening his already frustrated state. Furthermore, I also think Derangale must have noticed something was going on with Geoffrey and decided to use it to his advantage. Dude was a bit too confident, suspiciously confident in his ability to keep Geoffrey at his side without having to disclose any kind of compromising information.

In conclusion:

What I’m trying to say here is that I’m pretty convinced Geoffrey Martewall is not one of the straights. To sum all of this up, he:

-drinks astronomical amounts of his own extra strong brew of respect women juice on a daily basis

-has a tendency to get very attached to a few selected male friends who he then proceeds to protect with everything he has

-never noticed his old friend (👀) was lying to him, acted in a very out of character and erratic way for a while after his old friend’s (👀👀) death and was ready to commit actual crimes in an attempt to honour his old friend’s (👀👀👀) memory.

So. Yeah. The bi vibes are there. I would rather die than give up my Clueless Bisexual King Geoffrey Martewall headcanons! Sorry but a straight Geoffrey would make zero sense to me. Your honour can’t you see!!! this guy is WAY too cool not to be bi!!!

I rest my case.

P.S. I cannot BELIEVE I’m actually posting this monster on the day of the anniversary of the battle of Bouvines??? I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, at first I was really annoyed at the fact that putting this together was taking me weeks but then yesterday while I was editing I realized I would eventually be able to publish this on the very day Derangale died and Geoffrey was taken prisoner :’’) Perfect timing am I right?

#I love....Geoffrey Martewall...so fucking much i literallyhschbcbg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#He!!!!!!! HNGGGGG #also this is probably full of mistakes and typos and whatnot but i don't care at this point i just want to get my point across #and my point is that Geoffrey has to be bi and i am . right #haha ooops my Jerome/Geoffrey agenda is finally out in the open for everyone to see haha ooooooopppppp #anyway i've never posted anything this long before #Geoffrey was worth every single word I spent talking abt him tho #hyperversum #I'm tired I'm going to bed now byeeeeee #Geoffrey Martewall #Jerome Derangale #Ian Maayrkas

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ofcowardiceandkings · 3 years

Note

Can I get you to infodump about the danelaw because I literally only know about it from crusader kings 3 and much as I love paradox idk how well history gets distilled into a management game

Kthx have a good day

this took me so long to get to APOLOGIES

i've kind of cherry-picked important and interesting bits without writing a whole book or something so here goes lol

first off its important to note that the Danelaw in and of itself was a VERY brief spit of time which was also constantly in flux !! it lasted less than 100 years sandwiched between the start of the Norse invasions and the ousting of a king (and his death), then it was only another 100 years until the Norman invasion, it was a Wild time

ALSO i'll mention too that the term "Danelaw" was probably not a contemporary term. It's first recorded mention as Dena lage in the 11th century, over 50 years after what's now considered the Danelaw had dissolved. It's a term used to distinguish the self-governed Norse-held areas of Britain from those under West Saxon or Mercian law, literally The Danish Law and wasn't used to describe the geographic area until a little later.

It's also worth mentioning that while certain parts of the Danelaw were maintained as kingdoms or client kingdoms of some form (namely the Kingdoms of York and East Anglia), a whole lot of what was part of Mercia or Essex was left to its own devices under Jarldoms of the larger towns (boroughs/burhs). What was called The Five Boroughs of the Danelaw were a very important area in their own right, constituting a strong alliance between the Jarldoms of Derby, Leicester, Lincoln, Nottingham and Stamford. The area south of there was also under various Jarldoms (like Cambridge and Northampton) but they weren't as influential or closely knit as the Five. Technically speaking, the Danelaw is considered a Confederacy under the Kingdom of Denmark, but even aside from the existing peoples, the Norse people living there weren't all from Denmark by any stretch. After it's reunification under Alfred, the whole of England did become part of the Kingdom of Norway for a while under Cnut the Great, before his death split the various territories again, though England was still under Scandinavian influence of some degree all the way up to the Norman Conquest.

one of the more interesting things about the whole affair is that the culture and languages of the Scandinavian Norse and Anglo-Saxons were actually very similar as they had come from the same core groups of people not too long before. the speech was mutually intelligible at a basic level, both parties used a form of the Younger Futhark in some part, a lot of cultural concepts were the same. Aside from the Norse being an outside force, the only big difference was religion. The Saxon kingdoms had been entirely Christian for at least 100 years, despite the Saxons themselves being an interrupting force in the spread of Christianity through Britain even from during late Roman occupation.

Probably the EASIEST thing that made it all compatible other than the language was the similarity between the legal systems of the territories. For example the concept of compensatory damages existed in both places (weregild, literally man-gold), the Norse land division wapentake was more or less interchangeable with the Anglo-Saxon hundred, and so on. A lot of vague traditions held by Saxon peoples were continued in their own fashion, and other than the obvious upheavals of new rulers and raiding parties, not much else actually changed. The descendants of the united Scandinavian armies also made it a relatively peaceful area considering the remaining Anglo-Saxon kingdoms regarded them as squatters, but their closer shared culture and remaining unity actually made it pretty easy for the loose alliances of the Danelaw to stand up to the Anglo-Saxon pushback until it was mostly just Wessex left, with King Alfred in hiding somewhere in the Somerset marshes. It's really quite astounding Alfred bounced back to unify England at all after that on the face of it.

the geographic spread is also an interesting thing ! the first recorded Viking raid is in 793 at Lindisfarne monastery off the coast of modern Northumberland (VERY north) but the first recorded wintering of Norse peoples intending to stay long-term was actually in East Anglia (VERY south). What the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles called "The Great Heathen Army" marched the length of England to go and take advantage of a civil war happening back in Northumbria, where they captured and sacked York (Angle: Eoforwic, Norse: Jórvík) in 865. This established the START of the Danelaw as its usually measured, which spanned from 865 to 954.

It actually took only 10 years from the sacking of York for most of the Danelaw to become the Danelaw as most of its maps depict at its maximum, and for Alfred of Wessex to make peace with yet another settled Norse group in Dorset. Also! its worth noting that Alfred only became the king of Wessex after his brother Æthelred died in 871, well after the Dane forces had already taken hold of the Kingdom of York, the Kingdom of East Anglia, and a significant chunk of Mercia. He was of course already involved in the affairs but he did get chucked in at the deep end lol

Part of the peace keeping the re-established Kingdom of Wessex under Alfred and the Danelaw at large under fairly steady and peaceful borders for its more stable periods (definitely a relative term) from 878 , was down to Guthram and Alfred's agreements. After Alfred came out of his hiding in exile with an army, and forced the Danes to surrender, Guthram agreed to be baptised with Alfred as his godfather, and also agreed to go back to his Kingdom in East Anglia. In 884 Guthram made a run of it again and attempted to take Kent, but in being unsuccessful he signed the Treaty of Alfred and Guthrum, which basically established the formal border of the Danelaw and let them self-rule if they did keep to themselves. It wasn't until 902 that shenanigans started happening again, but considering how generally tumultuous the entire period was, just shy of 20 years of formalised peace wasn't bad going.

Eiríkr Haraldsson (or Eric Bloodaxe) was a pretty obscure guy for a lot of his life considering he was definitely Norwegian nobility. It's thought he may have been King of Norway for a short time, and maybe Northumbria twice over - though definitely for the second time when he was ousted from Northumbria - which essentially brought the end of the Danelaw proper. He's mentioned in a LOT of texts (Egils / Orkney / Icelandic / Norwegian sagas, Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. potentially Historia Norwegiæ, Annals of the Four Masters, Annals of Clonmacnoise), but he's still a bit of a vague figure somehow. He's noted as being a son of Harald, and the Icelandic and Norwegian version of events is that he was one of Harald Fairhair's many sons, although some people think he may have been the son of Harald Bluetooth. He DID definitely exist though, the last Norse minted coins in York are stamped with his name. Norse Northumbria and York was very strongly tied to the Norse Kingdom of Dublin (which lasted a LONG time by comparison), but upon his being removed in 954 the hope of the lands becoming a two-part kingdom fell apart.

The end of the Viking Era itself is often cited as being the defeat of King Harald (Hardrada) Sigurdsson of Norway at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066. He had landed hoping to retake York and the English crown as a whole with the help of King Harald Godwinson's brother Tostig, but the English forces managed to stop them. This actually probably helped out William the Conqueror (also of Norse decendant, Norseman - Norman) efforts less than a month later to take England, since the English armies had already dealt with the same thing and were mostly in the north away from the attacking forces from Normandy. Under William's Norman rule there were a few more attempts by other Scandinavian rulers to retake or at least plunder York, but the efforts never went very far. The last serious raids on England from Scandinavia came from Eystein II of Norway, who took advantage of The Anarchy (a civil war in Norman territories over a succession crisis between 1135 and 1153) to plunder the East Coast.

OKAY i'll stop waffling now but here we go jfkddfjdk

i hope this was interesting enough and something like what you were after instead of just some word puke gjfkdkjfd !!!

#meraxes-of-new-albion #asks #long post #history #rory's ramblings

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alicedopey · 3 years

Text

Third Birthday’s A Charm

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Halfdan x OC (Gaby)

Genre: Modern AU, Romance, Smut-ish

Words: 1794

Warnings: Well, there is a little bit of smut.

Summary: Gaby is not the only one who can make a wish for her birthday.

A/N: This is a birthday gift for my other half, @naaladareia Honey, you are such a kind-hearted and caring person, always there to listen. I wish you the best for your very special day. I love you.

A/N 2: This is the continuation of a little series so if you are interested in reading the first two installments: Part I - Part II

Halfdan woke up at the sound of something crashing on the ground followed by a loud gasp. He groaned and rolled on the side. The floor under his body was different from was he was used to. He blinked a few times and opened his eyes to close them back instantly. There was definitely too much sun here.

“What..what are you doing here?” A feminine voice stuttered.

It was something distant and yet, very familiar. His eyes opened again and abruptly sat up on the floor. He remembered where he was by now – or rather, when he was.

He looked up at the woman who had been in his thoughts for a while. Her jaw was opened, her eyes wide, her hair slightly disheveled and she was wearing some large loose shirt which let her legs show. He smirked.

“Hello!” He rasped.

She seemed to process his word and finally greeted him back. She bent down to gather the broken pieces of the weirdly bright colored pot she had certainly been holding in her hands before dropping it when she spotted him. She left for a few seconds and came back with a wet cloth to wash the liquid that was spilled on her odd floor. When she was done, she gave him a shy look.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here? How did you come?”

Halfdan smiled and stood up. “Don’t you celebrate the day you were born today? I thought it was a pattern for us to meet on that special occasion.”

“Maybe…I did not make any wish this time, though.”

“You have your ways, I have mine”. He answered in an enigmatic tone but she was still curious.

“Magic, I guess?”

He nodded. “Of some sort.”

“Why are you here?” She asked, extremely confused.

He approached her, extending a hand to play with a strand of her hair. He scrutinized her face since he did not have to pleasure to do so during the former two times they had met. It seemed so soft and spotless, quite different from the women he knew. It was also very inviting so his hand let go of her hair to run along her cheek.

“I have to admit I was highly suspicious of you at first but when you mentioned something about your birthday wish, I figured the Gods wants us to meet. It was fate.”

She put her hand on his, he got closer as he kept explaining himself. “I went to the Seer who told me my adventurous destiny was waiting for me much further than I thought. It was not the first time he said those words but I always thought I was made to discover every new land until I had reached my destination. Now, I understand what he was meaning.”

Her eyes widened. “Are you saying you are here to stay?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s up to the Gods and their mysterious ways. We should enjoy it while we can.”

He pecked her lips. “You got any food? I’m starving.”

¤ ¤

Gaby filled the dishwasher while Halfdan was relaxing on her couch after stuffing his face with the brunch she had prepared: eggs, ham, cheese, potatoes with juice, coffee and tea, that he happened to like more.

She could not help pinching her skin again. Having a Viking in her home could not possibly be true and yet, here he was…and maybe for a long time. It would take a while for him to adjust since he was watching every object around him suspiciously but he was an adventurer so she was certain he would manage in the end.

“What are the plans for today?”

His voice almost made her jump. She had not heard him at all, too lost in her thoughts.

“Nothing special.” She replied. “A nice bath to relax, I’ll probably bake some birthday cake and then I’ll cook some pasta dish for dinner.”

“No big celebration? Nobody is coming here?”

“It is…quite difficult nowadays. To make a long story short, there is some kind of plague going on. We can’t really visit each other and all the places when where we can eat and drink are closed, as well as cinemas or museum.”

He frowned. “What are those?”

“Places to have some fun.” She did not really want to get into the details since she was not ever sure he would go there once. “I could offer you to go outside but we will have to wear a mask.”

Halfdan let out a disgusted sound when she pointed at the numerous masks lying on her cupboard. “No, thank you. I might be up for a bath, though. Shall we?”

“Together?” She squeaked in spite of herself.

“Well, of course”. He eyed her up and down. “Besides it’s not like I have not seen it all before.”

Gaby felt herself blushing like an innocent teenage girl even though the idea of sharing a bath with him was very tempting.

She led Halfdan to her bathroom where he looked everywhere with wide eyes. It gave her time to prepare the bath, adding some lavender bubble bath and relaxing oil. She turned off the water when there was enough and looked at him shyly again. “Bath is ready.”

Halfdan started at the foam suspiciously before getting undressed, and dipped in. Gaby did the same, trying to ignore the fact that he was ogling her shamelessly. The water had a relaxing effect on her and she leaned back against the tub. On the opposite side, Hafldan mimicked her actions.

“Relaxing, isn’t it?”

“It is…how long do we have to stay here?”

Gaby laughed. “Impatient, are we?”

“I’m just not used to laziness, that’s all.” He bit back teasingly.

She threw some water at him playfully. Halfdan suddenly leaned forwards and pulled her against him. She immediately felt his hardness. Her breath hitched as his hand travelled down her back, her ass and her thigh that he grabbed to make her straddle him. He slid into her with a deep sigh. Gaby’s head tilted backwards in pleasure.

“I guess I could get used to this type of laziness.” He rasped before moving in and out of her.

Gaby gripped his shoulders to steady herself and meet his thrusts. The water splashed gently against the tub and soon, only the sound of their lovemaking could be heard.

¤ ¤

After their steamy sexual encounter, they got out of the tub. Gaby gave Halfdan more comfortable clothes that her ex-boyfriend had left in her apartment. It was really confusing to see him wearing some pants and a tee-shirt with his warrior demeanor. It was also very charming if she was honest with herself.

Later, he helped her bake her chocolate birthday cake – well, more like created a mess in her kitchen – but they had fun. Gaby was happy to fall into some sort of domestic life with him. It had been a long time and it felt nice to have someone around her during those very particular times.

Halfdan talked to her about some of his travels and raids. She winced at some of the most gruesome details but enjoyed every word. After all, it was as if she was watching a live documentary about Vikings. Only, it was better than television, better than the show she had enjoyed watching so much. To her surprise, Halfdan was a great story teller, very passionate and entertaining. He was answering all of her questions, pleased to see she was interested in everything he had to tell.

Dinner time came quickly. Halfdan devoured the pasta Gaby had prepared and then watched her blow the candles on her birthday cake.

“What did you wish for this time?”

She smiled. “It will not come true if I tell you.”

He rolled his eyes at her answer. A playful smile suddenly curved his lips upwards. “I am here. What more could you ask for?”

It was her turn to roll her eyes at his cockiness. “Of course. Still, I will not tell you my wish, you sexy murderous Viking.”

His smile widened. “You like calling me that, don’t you? I remember you saying it last time.”

“You remember too many things.” She mumbled under her breath.

Halfdan chuckled. “My brother keeps telling me that.”

Gaby suddenly frowned, thinking of Harald. “Does he know you are here?”

“I told him everything, of course.”

“And he let you leave?” From what she knew of Harald, he was quite possessive when his brother was concerned.

“My brother has his own destiny and I have mine.” He smiled. “To be truthful, he was more inclined to let me leave because he knew it was about a woman. Helpless romantic! I only hope none of them will try and kill him while I’m gone, no matter how long it is.”

Gaby felt a slight pang in her chest when he reminded her that there was a slight chance for him to disappear one day, just as fast as he had arrived. Halfdan sensed her sudden mood change and rose up from his chair to join her. He made her stand up before attacking her lips with a kiss that left them both breathless. They exchanged a lustful gaze.

“Why don’t you show me how sexy you think I am in that oddly over comfortable bed of yours?”

How could she say no to such a proposition?

First, she cleaned up everything while Halfdan was trying to get familiar with his new surroundings and was purposely avoiding the television, a television that he had almost destroyed when she had turned it on to show him what it was. He would definitely need more time with new technology.

When she was done, the two of them went to bed where they had sex and talked some more about Halfdan’s adventures. He held her in his arms. Gaby was happy to have spent another special and eventful birthday for the third time but also worried that there was a possibility he might not be here tomorrow when she would wake up.

Before falling asleep though, she remembered Halfdan’s earlier words. We should enjoy it while we can. He was right. For the moment he was there with her, maybe for a day or maybe for ten years but either way, they seemed to share some special bond as if their destinies were linked. It meant that no matter what happened, they would always find each other again.

Tagging (please tell me if you want to be added or removed): @naaladareia @flowers-in-your-hayr @gearhead66 @therealcalicali @tephi101 @ivarswickedqueen @akamaiden @peaceisadirtyword @captstefanbrandt @mblaqgi @medievalfangirl

#birthday fic #vikings #gaby's birthday #@naaladareia's birthday #halfdan x oc #Halfdan the Black #romance #modern au #smut

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arcticdementor · 3 years

Text

Some rambling, poorly-organized thoughts on state structures

On the recent nationalism and nations discussion, I don't want to give the wrong impression of my views, lest I seem like some sort of dedicated supporter of homogenous ethnostates.

After all, I've repeatedly said that it seems like practically nobody actually believes in Westphalian sovereignty anymore.

I get that nationalism creates a lot of problems, particularly in the wake of the breakup — or especially, carving up by outsiders — of a multiethnic, multicultural empire. The nigh-impossibility of fitting political borders to the human geography (thus usually leading the human geography to be forcibly transformed to match the political borders instead).

I mean, just earlier this month, when reading about the "highest" High German dialects, I wiki-walked my way into reading about the mess that was post WWI South Tyrol — a mess created by Woodrow Wilson's hard-on for "national self-determination" (and ignorance of the actual demography) — how one guy (Ettore Tolomei) created Italian place names to replace all the Austrian ones, and how its (Austro-Bavarian) German-speaking majority eventually faced the choice of either forced Italianization under the Fascists or relocation to Nazi Germany.

Or this recent thread at the Motte about the history of the Balkans from a couple of natives thereof, with, again, plenty of blame for Woodrow Wilson's dismantlement of the Habsburg domains.

Plus, I've seen plenty of people, left and right, argue that much of the problems of the Middle East are due to how the Western powers, and particularly Britain, carved up the failing Ottoman Empire (and yes, for many of the left-leaning ones, the creation of the modern state of Israel is at or near the top of that list).

One can also see all the messes in the former Soviet Union — Moldova, Transnistria, Ossetia, Abkhazia, Crimea, the Donets Basin, Nagorno-Karabakh, et cetera — as a similar "breakup of an empire" mess.

On the other hand, though, I also recall people once arguing that one of the major harms European colonialism inflicted upon Africa in "the scramble" was carving out territories and drawing up borders willy-nilly, without concern for the existing ethnic, linguistic, and cultural groupings — causing some groups who identified as one people to be split apart in some cases, and in others causing differing groups with historical animosities to be forced together. And further, that "fixing" this would involve African nations reorganizing themselves along ethno-religio-cultural-linguistic lines. (I have a further aside on this I may write-up later.)

And multi-ethnic empires have their own issues. Sure, some have allowed the constituent ethnic groups a fair amount of autonomy, such as the Ottoman "millet" system. But others, not so much — look at what happened to Gaulish and the other continental Celtic languages under Roman rule; or "Hanification" in China.

In multi-ethnic empires, there's always one central, ruling ethicity — usually the one that founded it. And there's a general extractive flow of wealth from the periphery to the core, and from subject peoples to the ruling people (when this flow reverses, and the ostensible rulers are instead paying the other peoples, is often when the Empire begins failing — note that it was the Turkish national movement that ultimately overthrew the Sultan). Plus, said rulers often play the subject peoples against each other.

In short, nationalist states have some problems, empires have some different problems.

Someone in one of the reply chains also made reference to Medieval kingdoms; particularly, to the idea that a ruler was "King of France" — because that's where the bulk of the territory he held was located — rather than "King of the French" — ruler of a specific people. The kind of thing that led to situations like the Spanish Netherlands, Norman Sicily, the King of England also being the Elector of Hanover, the kings of Sweden and Poland each claiming to be the rightful monarch of both territories, and so on.

Despite that, there's much to favor in such a thing. But, as so many people keep reminding me when I bring up my monarchist views, this was the product of a number of specific preconditions. First, the utter disintegration of the western Roman Empire, leaving mostly just hyper-local identities — particularly once the Germanic migrations stopped, and the Franks and Goths assimilated to their local subjects.

Second, that the kings, particularly at the start of any given dynasty, and even sometimes well into the Early Modern period, were basically warlords — I recall reading one historian refer to Gustavus Adolphus as "the worst kind of sociopath," and another argue that the life story of Henry VII is, in its broad strokes, basically the same as any number of Latin American dictators. Look at Clovis I, Harald Hardrata, or William the Conqueror, or…

Third, this state of affairs was also a product of the comparative weakness of those kings. Because, for quite some time, pretty much any local baron who owned a castle was a power to be reckoned with, and kings were often more "first among equals" with these lords — see King John, the Magna Carta, the Barons' War, and so on. This was a product of the military technologies of the time; effective war-fighting was by highly-trained, heavily-equipped elite cavalry — knights — who were expensive… but not so expensive that local lords couldn't afford to maintain an effective retinue of them. Defensive fortifications like castles were highly effective, and slow and costly to besiege.

Then cannons and early firearms came along, which actually served to centralize power — kings were able to use them to take more power and authority from the aristocracy, leading to the replacement of decentralized feudal structures with royal absolutism (and a growing central bureaucracy to run and manage said centralized government). Then later firearms made the average commoner with little training into an effective war-fighter — thus "the Age of the Gun" and resulting democratization of the centralized state.

I'll admit, it's hard to see a pathway back to that sort of mid-level balance — where neither the numbers of the common masses nor the deep pockets of a centralized state provide much advantage in war over a localized petty elite. The "Age of the Gun" may have ended, but our current military modes (with multi-million-dollar equipment) again favor the centralized state — either a nation-state or an empire — over both local authority and the common citizen. Some argue that 4th-generation warfare might see a return of "people power" (though I have my doubts); and I've seen others debate how expensive effective autonomous weapons of a coming "Age of the Drone" might prove, and thus what scale of political organization it favors.

Then there's the city-state, which has even more local autonomy, and which seems to be in many ways a preferable manner of organization. But the problem there, is that they almost always run afoul of the economies of scale in war-fighting. There's a reason those feudal barons, for all their power, ended up pledging fealty to one king or another, and even in the modern era, unless you either have somehow obtained WMDs with an effective long-distance delivery system, or are under the protective aegis of a larger polity with such, a lone city-state is just too easy to push around militarily, if not de-facto conquer.

Sure, Nick Land argued that while nuclear-tipped ICBMs will remain out of reach for microstates, we can expect city-states to proliferate again once DNA technologies mean they can have a WMD deterrent in the form of "$1000 smallpox" or other bioweapons. I don't suppose I have to tell you, particularly now, why having hundreds of labs around the world manufacturing and storing virulent and deadly man-made plagues does not sound like a good idea to me.

Going all the way back to Westphalia, again, I'd like to note that the key principle there was not anything about nationalism directly, but about religion — ending the generations of bloody post-Reformation wars with the "truce" principle of cuius regio, eius religio. That the religion of each state was the business of its government and its government only, and that it's no longer a ruler's place to intervene in a neighboring ruler's territory to rescue the souls of his subjects from vile heresy with fire and sword.

There's a certain echo of this in the proposals of certain libertarian, ex-libertarian, and libertarian-adjacent left-wing people of a loose confederation of microstates wherein, in an example of exit-over-voice, people are free to relocate so as to sort themselves on ideological (compare to religious) lines. Friedman's seasteads, Yarvin's "patchwork," and Alexander's "archipelago" all come to mind as core examples. But these have a number of issues. First, the ways in which they presuppose a level of mobility, of ability and willingness to relocate, that I find unrealistic to expect from much of the population. I note here that it seems to be a very specific sort of person who recommends this sort of solution.

Second, it very much requires a Westphalian live-and-let-live, what happens in the patch next door is none of my business no matter how wrong I believe it to be, attitude. But replace "one true faith" with "universal human rights" and saving souls from heresy with "humanitarian intervention," and we see that, like I said before, such a spirit is quite dead — "all it takes for evil to triumph…", "an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere", et cetera. Like we saw with Libya, unless you have the WMD-MAD means to prevent it, expect the superpower to enact "regime change" on you if your way of life somehow offends their particular "universal" orthodoxy.

TL;DR: nation-state, empire, feudal kingdom, city-states, patchwork — it's trade-offs all around.

#nationalism #empire #peace of westphalia #nation-state #feudalism #dark ages #fall of rome #ottoman empire #africa #cuius regio eius religio #long #effortposting #rambling

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