#mom get out of my room im playing minecraft | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

residentcatboy · 2 years

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Tfw your mom comes in your room while you in vc with the homies:

#get out of my room im playing minecraft #the squad #vc #mom

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phoenix--flying · 1 year

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pjo characters as things my friend group has said

Hazel: I just kinda radiate towards caves

Nico: Breathing has been taken out of Nicos software

Connor: I can speedrun to your house when you're home alone

Cecil: raisins are dehydrated rats

Percy: It's a roller coaster where the only option is to die

Will: I just goooot- my jugular sliced open by a cat

Nico: We're going out tonight and killing all the homophobes. Call it a date

Will: Why am I so much taller then- Oh its cause im standing on a dead body

Connor: You're sooo welcome. I literally did nothing

Hazel: Just because your trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called a trash can not a trash cannot

Piper: Cut my hair, I'll cut your throat

Thalia: Sometimes I do slap kids

Travis: When I grow up I'm gonna be a legal drug dealer

Beckendorf: I’m going to drop kick myself into space

Malcom: Briefly describe three applications that make use of the total eternal reflection of light Connor: The colour seven

Grover: Percys reaching old age, we should put him in a retirement home

Piper: Leo what did you do Leo: I may have burned down an orphanage and it may have spread to this site.

Lou Ellen: Travelling, usually done on the ceiling

Will: Imagine sitting on your couch watching TV and your phone buzzes. Reminder: Breathe

Austin: i just broke an acorn.. panic whY IS THERE AN ACORN IN MY ROOM

Nico: i feel like today happened yesterday and i just slept for all of tomorrow and woke up in the evening

Malcom: yeah i fell down the stairs and broke my spine in 3 places Connor: that's hot

Jason: Nitroglycerin. The forbidden smoothie

Will: I always look like trash. Annabeth: I know that's why I hate looking like trash

Travis: well we only have a few minutes left of class.. y'all wanna watch something explode

Piper: It sounded like you smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and then hit puberty

Jason: Imagine you get fired the day after you die

Nico: My stomach just like...started learning German

Nyssa: Leo if you don't leave, i'm shoving this desk fan up your ass

Jason: I slammed my foot on the accelerator, running multiple red lights at 220km/h, because I wanted to drive safe

Nyssa: When you go through the car wash but you forget the car

Drew: *points at trashcan* That looks like you

Nico: I only want chemistry between me and a coffin

Jake: Gotta put your wheelchair in 4Wheeldrive. Outdoor mode. Off-road mode

Leo: Murder is ok as long as its fine

Percy: Maybe if I fall asleep on my textbook I'll wake up with all the knowledge

Connor: Let's play spin the bottle but it's only you and me

Leo: Now how do we calculate the density if swiss cheese

Clarisse: I have to ask one of the experts Chris: Who are the experts? Clarisse: I don't know

Piper: Your mom is on vacation Leo: well- she's on a permanent vacation

Michael: AYO BITCH YOUR FOODS FLAMIN THE FUCK

Silena: If you're slow I'm a fucking snail

Jason: We need to hold a funeral! Percy: Here comes the bride

Beckendorf: Have you ever died? No??? Well here you go!!! Death simulator. It’s permanent!

*Annabeth and Percy sitting on a bench with drinks and a cop drives by* Percy: What if they thought we were drinking and driving Annabeth: We're not in a car

Will: I'm so smart Nico: Oh my god since when

Piper: *gives Leo a singular goldfish* Piper: Feeding the poor

Lou Ellen: Bless your soul Nico: What soul? Lou Ellen: ...good answer

Sherman: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and anybody else if you throw it hard enough

Connor: I can see the veins in my eyes

Ellis: Whatever sinks your boat!

Cecil: You can't kill the gays if the gays kill you first

Will: dude sorry there's a knife in your grandma's face it grew wings and flew there :( Cecil: I’m sorry my knife flew out of my hand and slit that guys throat then burned it so he wouldn’t bleed

Silena: *playing Minecraft* I walked into your house and your birds started aggressively dancing at me

Lee: That's just so unfortunate for me. That is just so- oh I died

Percy: Wanna go to Toronto? Why drive just take the Earth Quake on natural disaster

Travis: The roof is just caving in on us it's fine

Michael: My arms are broken, my legs are broken, my lungs are broken, my knees are broken, I got decapitated when I was five

Connor: We're gonna die? No we're gonna beat the speedrun world record

Cecil: Hell to go down I there

Will: Mask to mask resuscitation

Travis: I may or may not have accidentally dropped a match in the building on purpose

Nico: Minecraft but I accidentally sets a school on fire

Percy: Minecraft but I die of hypothermia

Piper: Minecraft but I left my eyes at home

Jake: Minecraft but my legs are broken

Jason: Minecraft but I died

Lou Ellen: Minecraft but we're all gay

Will: If I die the game is homophobic

Cecil: Minecraft but I run my best friend over

Nico: I wanna hit a citizen with a baseball bat

Michael: Hey sir, you have Alzheimer’s. Would you like a side of bronchitis?

Silena: Why can't this be straight? Lee: Because you're not

Lou Ellen: mmmm i love my jesus fish Cecil: bro jesus fish Lou Ellen: ikr, jesus moment

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bwobgames · 1 year

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Previous First

They walk through the second lounge room

"... So what about you? Who are your favorite detective and criminal? I will judge you

"In real life? Us.

In fiction, hm... Professor Layton or Harry du Bois. And for criminals, it would be this one character Vivi made in DnD. It was really funny."

"Ah, so you're a bit of a nerd then?"

"You play minecraft"

"How did you know that."

"... Wild guess, I think you're the type of guy who asks people out on minecraft dates"

"Fuck, he's more perceptive than I thought"

"But isn't solving mysteries a bit of a game on its own? Just, well, much more serious"

"... I dont know if I'd call it a game, but it's certainly a puzzle.

Puzzles are really fun, I like solving things. The feeling when everything just *connects* is so satisfying.

But I certainly enjoy games, I love their structure, their rules, the way they change so drastically with just a few conditions. A game is like a puzzle, in a way."

"... Hey, how about this.

Let me contract you for my case"

"Huh?"

"I want you to investigate my next hit.

Time, place, object, method, all of it! I'll leave hints and clues beforehand. "

"Do you get it? I want to make puzzles for you"

"Oh. Oh fuck. This better not be feelings.

This is a terrible time, place, person, and situation to catch feelings in!! Get a grip Me!!!

He basically just did the equivalent of offering me a sudoku book, no big deal! Mom did that for my birthday already!

Well, except a hand crafted puzzle would require a lot of thought and care and research into it, and seeing as this is a real-life robbery, there would probably be items and places and other variables at play that will make everything more exciting, not to mention the real danger he is going through for this, just for me...

Which!! Is Fine!! Not romantic at all!! I have never felt a single feeling ever in my life."

"What happens when I solve it"

"If you solve it"

"When I solve it. You'll go to jail"

"I won't get caught, I know my way around police"

"So, dont worry, once it's over, I'll bounce back with more puzzles for you

We'll get to know each other better"

"... Okay. I'll do it, then"

"Ah fuck. These really are feelings"

"Im screwed"

They reach the stairs and go up

#doomed by the romance narrative!!#the way to a mans heart is by giving him sudoku books #also me i love sudokus excep when theyre too hard :(#detective beebo

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fagdykegtws · 5 months

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vent it's 1am

sometimes I see posts about people's parents being supportive of their interests, and I wonder what I could've had about that.

instead I'll sit in my room, smiling, laughing at a funny video, chatting with my friend, having fun and enjoying myself in my little safe space and I'll hear my dad laugh from downstairs and I'll wonder if it's at me.

why do I like the things I do? isn't it pathetic you're so invested in fucking minecraft roleplay? these creators will never know your name, but you still hold the time jimmy briefly said your name out loud on stream dear to your heart despite the fact you didn't even clip it, it just plays in your head sometimes. hi chewby, he said along with a long list of other names. he doesn't think about it and yet it felt like you existed for a moment.

it's unreasonable and incredibly paranoid, but sometimes I get scared and look through my phone for keyloggers that might've been installed, try and dig around my room for cameras and get scared new people I meet are my dad trying to fool me into trusting someone to tear it away and laugh. Point at the heartfelt messages I said to them and say isn't that pathetic? you trusted someone that much so quickly, this thing you said was so stupid. why did you say that? what's wrong with you? you're a fucking freak.

my mom says she tries not to let him have an effect on her life, don't be mad, stay apathetic. I would if I could. I'm terrified.

my only safe space had been torn away before, and it was one of the worse periods of my life. I was so disassociated I can't really tell you what happened in that time. I remember seeing a wildflower growing between the fence on my way home from school and crying. that flower got me through that day. I'm so scared of that happening again.

I pretend to nod along, I agree with every horrible thing he says, I have an entire horrible transphobic and bigoted story written out for how I use each social media I do use, and it's all to make sure he's happy and okay with me. I don't genuinely give a shit what he thinks, but I consider his opinion on everything I do to make sure I have a decent cover up story or way to hide it. I've done a lot, even as a kid to keep up that innocent perfect kid persona, even if then I didn't have a real reason to. I have zero respect for that man and yet I bow to him because I'm terrified. sometimes I wish I could've smiled and told him about the lmanburg flag I was sewing 2 years ago, and he would've smiled and listened to me talk. I think that conversation was ammunition. I hate talking about myself already, and I have extra internalized fear about my interests now. I assume everyone thinks I'm pathetic outside of my bubble, and it surprises me every time I see someone outside of the mcyt community not clowning on us or putting dni in their bio, thinking we're just weirdos. we're wonderful weirdos, I love what we've made here, but it's been ingrained into me to hate myself for what makes me happy.

I wish I didn't have to filter my thoughts. have cover up interests, pretend I'm so invested in a video game I haven't played in months. I've picked up my sister is masking and sucking up to him too. I feel bad for her.

im tired. I escape here and it's so wonderful, I can talk to people that make me happy and understand and won't lecture me and make me feel pathetic over the tiniest slip of my words. people will cheer with me, make me feel not alone, I love you all so much. you'll listen to me be happy, think about things that make me happy and interest me. even if I'm incoherent, even if you don't know what I'm talking about, even if it's too late and I'm making too many typos, I love you. I love you I love you I love you.

#vent #vent tw #delete later

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lorekeeper-backset · 7 months

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I treat my intrusive thoughts like my mom coming into my room to tell me to do my chores.

"What if you stabbed yourself." Get out of my room, mom, I'm playing Minecraft!

"Hey do you think everyone hates you?" Mom! Im on the phone!

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gutsypop · 2 months

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hospital tripping

it starts with us in my school hallways weree giving out something. im w 3 other people. n when we reach the rubbish bin someone said to the other person that he dated his brother. the guy spits out his water. also gru was there somewhere

now im watcing a drama video about this person. TURNS OUT THAT IT WAS NOODLES EX. (i dont think noodle actually has an ex) and like its a minecraft drama video czu of course it is. smhmyhead. and they do an interview with noodle and her username is censored. BUT YEAH. I KNOW A NOODLE WHEN I SEE ONE. and im like uhhhhhh i wanna ask noodle about it. but i dont wnana cuz it seemed recent n they didnt tell me so like. i end up in the hospital.

next section

im in a corn maze n it plays out like pacman in 3rd person back and im like i wanna go everywhere. so eventually i end up on a highway in a car learning how to drive and im connected to another car w my friends parents by a dog leash. so im learning ho wto turn. then they go into the middle field so i go in too and start to relax and i lay down on my back. then the leash breaks. my friends parents say thi is why we have solutions to things. and they fix the leash. but i done caused traffic on the entire highway and everyone was yelling and mad. people start to walk out of their vehicles and complain. someones like "is this why all of [SCHOOL] is leaving" or smth like that and im trying to pick up all my things off the ground. my mom picks me up telling me its time to go. im sobbing and i drop my brushes and she keeps on trying to tell me its time to go. but i told her that we paid for all of these. i have a lot of brushes. and i eventually get all of them. im back in the hospital. the same room as before. i left my notebook in there. i look out the window. its all white and bright. someone visits me. i dont remember or know who. but we were friends.

now im at school. and its all people who also went to the trip. its nighttime there and the lights are all on. it looks nice. i walk thru the 2nd floor hallway. theres some people whispering abt me. i go into the library and sit at a magenta tbale. i cry for a little bit and leave after. i see an old school friend while leaving. we just stare at each other. my friend takes me upstairs and on the top of the stairs are 5 coloring pages with 5 colors. red, green, yellow, blue. she says that not all colors are accurate to the piciture because the fmaily doesnt want to do it. ok but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???? PHILOSOPHICAL MUCH??? i go downstairs again and i see that old friend again and we just stare at each other again.

#weird dreams #dream #project sekai #hospital

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daddynattt · 1 year

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Well I guess I NEED to now don’t I? 🤭

AHEEEMMMM get ready

- I wish I was a mirror, so I could stare at your cute face all day

- Are you a crib? Cause I wanna put a baby in you

- I’ll take you how I take my coffee, hot, creamy, and dripping in my mouth

- My nickname for you is going to be polio because you make me week in the knees

- Are you a doll? Cause I wanna play with you

- Hey are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

- Are you a toaster? Cause I wanna take a bath with you

- If I was an enzyme I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes

- Are you an angel? Cause we look heavenly together

- Are you a thanksgiving meal? Cause damn little bit, I’d love to be stuffed with you

- are you a pumpkin? because i want to put my hands in your guts and a smile on your face

- Wanna play shark attack? You eat I scream

- i may not go down in history, but i can go down on you

- i must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood

- are you a trampoline? because i want to bounce on you

- do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

- i’m having trouble sleeping by myself. can you sleep with me?

- do i have to sign for your package?

- i love my bed but, i’d rather be in yours

- Are you an electrician? Cause you light up my night

- Are you a sea turtle? Cause I wanna choke on your plastic

- call me a potato cuz i wanna be baked and smashed

- if you need a new nickname i could always call you mine

- call you a panic attack because you leave me out of breath and tear stained

- i’m gonna make a movie after you call it the grinch that stole my heart

- Are you suicide? Cause I think about you all the time

- are u suicide? cause i want u so bad

- call me a rollercoaster cuz the faster i go the louder you scream

- i may not be 18 but i can be the 1 who 8 you out

- I thought about complaining to Spotify for you not being named on week's hottest single

- damn, are you free wifi?? cause i wanna use you in public

- are you a bottle of pills? cause i could overdose on you

- Are you my moms belt? Cause you hit different

- My cat died can I play with yours?

- Are you the suicide hotline? because I really need to get your number

- Are you a blade? Cause I want you deep inside me

- Are you a yogurt cup ? Cause I want my tongue to reach the deepest parts of you

- Are you a keyboard? Cause you’re my type

- You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill

- I’m sorry I’m left handed but I can treat you right

- Cant blame gravity for falling for you

- If you think about it, life is just the word bus. Because without U it’s BS

- do you use your desk to do your work? cause I use my desk to do art work so why aren't you on it

- i'm gonna buy you instead of a car, because i can drive it crazy without getting a ticket

- You remind me of geometry cuz you look good in every angle

- I was supposed to find x, thank god I found U

- If x+U=15, then I would assume x equals 5 cause U are definitely a 10

- Can i calculate your velocity? Because I want to know how fast my heart is beating for you

- I’ve been so sick lately, I must be catching feelings for you

- Are you a Minecraft creeper? Cause you make my heart explode

wait these are good im gonna use some of these 😂😳

#my asks #abbyromanoff

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icatconowo · 11 months

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thinking about that one time when i was younger when i had to be banned from anything sonic for a month.

yeah,, uhm. so like, uhh...

basically i would obsessively talk about sonic constantly at school and it annoyed some people, and while out to eat with my mom and dad i made the very smart decision of just casually telling them about that and how it annoyed me that the other kids at my school were getting annoyed.

they came to the conclusion that i had to be banned from anything sonic for a month,, so i was. i mostly followed the ban but after a point i couldnt take it anymore, so i started sneakily trying to consume sonic stuff online again. i would literally try to hide the internet tabs i had of sonic related things from my parents like it was goddang porn.

i specifically remember one time where my mom was asleep behind me (my pc was in the living room) while i was trying to watch a sonic video on silent, constantly switching between the sonic video and the minecraft website or smth just incase.

eventually a week before the ban was lifted i woke up to this scavenger hunt thing where once i completed it, the sonic ban was lifted for a single hour. and all i did during that hour was watch a youtube compilation of cool sonic cutscenes, i didnt even play any of the games.

this ban also didnt stop me from obsessively talking about sonic at school during the month ban or after. i think im starting to understand why me and my elementary school friends drifted apart.

yeah looking back on this i think my parents were justified in the ban.

#sonic #the #hedgehog #the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic obsession #literally what

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pinkadork · 16 days

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Im fine

Its not like ive been setting myself up what feels like forever to both really and also i guess not at all always be in the cycle im in. The predestined fuck up ig my moms a fuck up

Im a fuck up

I cant stay a job apparently

I’m too scared of every if and but when it comes to trying it to be creative and do things like i used too, nowadays i feel like its tainted because im not even finna be doing it because i like it anymore, but instead just proving i didn’t give up, when i did

I was tired, emotionally drained, put in a position i nor anyone really asked for but guess whose grandparents this belonged to

Im not a fucking mistake or a right person wrong time

I am a nigga thats has been struggling and it was before you sure but everyone in the fuck ass house kept trauma bonding new and old covid didnt fucking help.

How the fuck are we fucking but aint no protection or immediate showers available

How am i toxic for not wanting what felt like more like a: fuck my poor ass boy friends and dementia ridden grandparents( and while its not anyones job to guide me if we in a relationship and you feel some way say some shit some how ) the weirdest ( but unfortunately not worst) living situation ive been in, the deepest most confusing, loving yet infuriating, real yet faux ass relationship ive had with anyone.

Like even now I physically am sick to my stomach about the idea or notion of again my ex, someone who has dumped me like at least twice since July and lowkey high key didnt even count it it was like a secret trial i failed because ofc im not sure of you actually love me mr. I tell the world you beat me but sure we can play minecraft

Fucking the part the gets me the most about this is i know you know how i feel and its just

I feel set up

Like genuinely not just the relationship shit

And im not gonna act like i dont play my role in shit and attribute a lot to the shit that get me and others where we are but jfc im tired

I’m not the brightest bulb but im not a fucking dumbass

And i did more than read the room, i saw the patterns, felt the vibe shifts, and tried so fucking hard.

Its sad whatever im pathetic but i think i knew without saying it (and even saying this it doesnt mean all the people out with then bc some are still here and we cool but fucking) My ex was the realest mf i had in my circle, and which is probably why its hard being like man aint no fucking way we went out like that. Im not for the see you in a few years shit, im not for the go fuck around like i aint give my heart, i was (am) a dumb nigga that went to to college before dropping out after missing all my classes so i could be attached virtually at the hip to them

Its not their fault and for years i didnt feel that at all.

But the second i saw that they felt like they wasted so much on me and this that whatever man my blood got to boiling on some seafood type shi

Its like

You can do evil

They can do evil

And be vindicated and justified in ya own right because in ya head this is just karma and you standing up for ya self and

Then its like i do evil snd immediately fold because i aint mean shi

Nigga got slammed by me 2 or three times

And everytime it was some bs

I let you convince i was being an ass for feeling threatened because " weight and height and muscle” but fucking niggas never care about perspectives

Yeah we are arguing

Yeah im loud, which is infuriating because my usual everyday speaking voice whether it because i subconsciously (now very actively) am aware of how loud i can be, is actually very quiet and i tend to have to repeat myself and even did to my ex because yeah

Fuck im so high man

Its been awhile since i ran out of actual medicine

Like i feel like ive said its been like two weeks for like a month now.

Now i gotta go through new everything, finding insurance, therapy, reassessments, medication changes, so much has happened and yet nothing has, i got fired today, i think, i mean i definitely got the text “Your assignment is finished do not return anymore” but this is the first temp agency really that ive been at , its just like

Like that?

Its kinda how sudden i end up either in or out of someones life, ex, family, friends

Sometimes i feel like ive been so many different me’s and am constantly “coming of age” (metaphorically speaking or in case thats ominous still, like i feel like i do in fact get older but do to circumstance, bad choices, and a lot of fuckening, i very much am learning alot of basic shit i shouldve known, or yes i am just now learning how to not be like donny on the wildthornberrys

I truly was happy and want to die everytime i think about how unhappy i made them

Make them

The wont miss me when i die because im alive and they surely dont is the thing i come back to whether wrong or not it is

Sometimes i cry about things i dont know are true bit definitely feel on my gut or for those in the loop my LN

You can keep my heart in dont want it anymore

I know realistically im bugging and i just feel bad and i need meds and yadayada yada

Im gonna be blunt with ya chief, im blowing my fucking brains out gn

#gonna start uploading #when i stop im just done

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sallymew4 · 2 months

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do you ever feel like a plastic bag

drifting in the wind

wanting to start again

MOM GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFT !!!

#i dont btw #im a paper bag #hashtag eco-friendly #also i just realized you wont get this reference. shame

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androcola · 5 months

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Fucking exactly!!!! It’s so tiering because I have to vocally ask my mom if I can go out, sometimes she asks if I need a minute away. And she just thinks I need to ‘calm down’ by breathing and standing/sitting outside. No!! I need to listen to my records in the background as I scroll through tiktok

Like one time, I was with my cousins at a child’s play place(it’s was so extravagant I’ll give it that), and my youngest cousins who’s like 1-2 has a tendency to accidentally poke your ass, bc my aunts okay with him doing that. I was already uncomfortable because of the amount of kids and the noises, so when he accidentally touched me I screamed and nearly hit him. I didn’t mean to but I was so overwhelmed, and my mom and aunt were looking at me weird, and I was able to go outside. I didn’t at all really relax because I couldn’t stim or do anything that I liked to get rid of my bad emotions. I just had to go back inside with all of the screaming kids and had to act as if I was okay

that's my biggest issue I think. i deeply believe that no one will ever truly understand me and what goes on in my mind and I can never explain myself, and also I don't like to, so in social situations it makes me feel all the more miserable Knowing that if something were to happen, no one would understand it and they'd all think im crazy or something.

usually wat happens to me in social situations, or if im anticipating being around a lot of people, my chest will start to tighten and it'll feel like im giving effort to every breath, I'll feel this,,,, "drop" in my head and I can't explain it, everything around me will start to look really,,,,fluid?? like you've turned up the cursor sensitivity in minecraft or something. and it makes it even more worse when I see everyone around me having a good time and being totally unaware and totally okay with everything, it's like,,WHY ISNT EVERYONE ELSE FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

BUT its also SO frustrating when people sre like "what do you thjnk will happen? just tell urself that ur safe! 😃😃" LIKE...I DINT THINK ANYTHINGS GONNA HAPPEN it just bubbles up in me and everytime even thinking of it or feeling a twinge, it sends me past the point of no return and none of that Deep Breathing stuff works for me cuz as soon as I'm aware of my breath, im putting in effort for every breath and it makes it feel like my chest just gets tighter ane tighter with each breath. the colors in the room get super saturated, everything feels foreign or ,,slowef down but also the same, and I can never break out of it, and then my stomach drops and thats really the end

and then my hands start to sweat and tingle and then it's really REALLY over for me at that point. it controls my life and it's never ending!!!!!!!!!

#asks #anon #ive tried meditation ive tried cbd ive tried deep breathing that shit doesnt work!!!

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appavevo · 1 year

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i have many thoughts right now i’m gonna put them all here so its hopefully less annoying

wanted hot chocolate, culvers doesn’t have hot chocolate anymore? could go to dunkin but i don’t want to drive

could have some chocolate milk and heat that up i GUESS

i have a project due tonight that i asked for an extension on im pretty sure im gonna get the extension but at this point the project is just putting what i know on paper and you might think thats not too bad but my brain is constantly telling me to kms with each sentence why am i like this

also my project is about the 200s of the dewey decimal system which is religion and about weeding the collection and there aren’t many articles or sources that talk specifically about that collection which is weird bc theres a lot to talk about

the dewey decimel system is.......eh

ALSO have any of you guys ever noticed that public library catalogs suck ass? like the website that you would go to see what they have, just sucks idk like now that i have access to the actual system bc i work there, idk man. like i’m interested in the history of christianity from a secular viewpoint, and if i search the library catalog for “history of god” literally the 5th result is a book called black nerd problems which is a good book! but not related? especially when i know what items in our library SHOULD be present with this search term. also the seventh search result was the CD soundtrack for wonder woman???? explain that

god my body and brain is so broken like with the meds its easy to coast

making myself focus takes so much effort that i can’t even focus on what i’m supposed to be focusing on?

sometimes you get weirdly obsessed with a single character for a large franchise that you are only partially familiar with, but you don’t like what they do with this character, so you build out their backstory and behavior and sometimes you’re like is this out of character? and then your like wait yea that’s the point of course it is, and then you’re like its not weird right? spending so much energy and thought into balancing the canon of this character with my own ~improvements~ to try and find a cohesive middle that feels like a real character? that’s okay right? and then you’re like wait a second i haven’t checked my email in 11 days?

gonna play minecraft now. gonna make a chocolate milk??? not gonna clean my room.....gonna go to bed early??? go on a walk tomorrow morning??? but then i’ll get tired and wanna go back to bed. need to shower, told oma i’d visit her before work???? also i have to finish my project tomorrow. maybe i’m genetically incapable of being responsible like my mom is nuts. lowkey therapy appointments should be at night bc i don’t usually spiral like this at 10am

the loneliest time honestly is like the best song. also i just listened to some of that beyonce album that came out over the summer and i like the cuff song. i saw a tiktok of a woman dancing to it in some kind of body suit that was sparkly but seethrough down the sides like all the way, it was hot but also just objectively hypnotic to look at, like an illusion or something

man if only i could write like this for my assignments id be golden

#ignore

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mastahfenfen · 2 years

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So, here's the deal. I have decided to make some changes.

I realize that i have over extended myself. Between all the requirements i set for myself, the range i expected from myself, and the lack of follow through on behalf of my support, I have built up a lot of guilt, shame, and disappointment that just inevitably broke me. (Not including more personal issues that i am also struggling with)

So, in the spirit of growth and development, I have taken several steps back and have a new plan. It is much simpler, easier, and encourages me to do the something i already want to do anyway.

Maintaining a 6 day a week post schedule (while hard, is still important to me) I will be posting 1-3 photos of whatever i have done in Minecraft that week posted at 6pm CST.

This may take some time, however, as i currently only have access to the switch version and the new updates have rendered it unplayable at times.

This should make things easier for me,as i already want to play Minecraft everyday. This should relieve the guilt attached to me ONLY playing Minecraft, and the shame from not having follow through on my other goals. It will give me more room to work around my partners demanding schedule -_- ... and to recover when im tired. It will also make posting easier for me since it will mostly just be the pics instead of the full blown commentary on myself. While a good idea in theory, not a good one for where i'm at right now.

I want use this as a good lesson. It important to recognize that your own expectations can be too high, and its okay for you to have to take a few steps back. Slow and steady can still finish the race.

In the past year i have learned that i am not neurotypical, and i have a traumatic childhood. My household was full of absence in a strange way. My father was in the military, from him i has abandonment issues, attachment issues, and self-worth issues related to my, then unknown, neurodivergence. My mom, was just me if i had married a high school sweetheart, who joined the military, and had three kids and traveled all over the country before realizing they were neurodivergent. So she was absent and i raised my two younger siblings, one of whom was diagnosed adhd autistic by 3rd grade.

Recognizing all of this was hard, not just for me but my partner as well, which has added on a lot of stress to both our already stressful plates. So, needless to say, i dont have the energy to do all of this at once.

All of that said, I am still driven and determined to achieve my goals no matter how slowly i have have to start. I may be pushing the starting line farther back, but it will be an even more fulfilling victory when i cross that line.

So, ill be doing my best to get some content out today and getting the rest of it gathered. My game keeps freezing up and i can't get any photos.

I've got this!

#fc #word vomit

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cursedpossums · 3 years

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heres a possum i found in my trashcan its the best photo ive ever taken

HOLY SHIT

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