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Sometimes the smile is not fake.
I've been trying my hardest to get myself to bed on time and up during the day but sadly, going on 2 years... It seems to get worse. As my partner for 20 years always says, "how can I be the most lazy busiest person".
Another day I couldn't get up in time to take the kids to school on my own. So thankful our uncle shows up even when we don't call for help. I don't know what we would do without him.
Usually I feel bad about it all but he has been patient with me instead of constantly putting me down. I slowly got up, picked up my middle child at 2:30p. Then the 2nd at 3:30p. I thought we were headed up to get them all ready to go to our eldest's presentation at the high school. My partner was not feeling well so just took 3 and 4 with me.
The presentation went well. I wish communication was better. I didnt realize it was such a big thing. I would've dressed better. I wouldve helped edit a bit more things. Took photos, had them practice more. I feel like I'm not present. Ever.
We then ran off to Walmart. Realized we barely have any money, didnt even get half the things we went for..........
I got home. My partner's boss was there to take back the work truck. I think it's been about 2 weeks since hes been to work. I dont know what we're going to do.
Anyways, I got back in the house and I've learned to try not to let the things that are in my mind come out. It will start a fight and I'm so very tired of it.
We waited for our lasagna dinner and watched a precious movie. A man called Otto, so much triggers to my grandmothers suicide but I do wish we could've been that lively young family for her. To keep her here.
All my life I've felt like I wasn't enough and all my life, life proves it but here I am as OTTO says. Keep living.
Even though i was saddened by the movie. I had my whole family by me on the couch, laughing, smiling, watching. Thats all I want for forever.
#mom#blog#diary#themombehindthesmile#blogger#momblog#sadmom#depression#anxieties#everyday#life#behindthescene#nightlyentry#lost
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The baby is going through her 6 month sleep regression. She woke up and cried every 1-1.5 hours last night. I woke up cranky, exhausted, and with a stiff neck.
I spend ALL day with this baby. I never get a break. My ONLY breaks are when she finally goes to bed at night and sleeps throughout the night.
Now, even that is not safe and I am just miserable.
God I just a fucking break and a nap.
Sincerely,
A Frustrated Mom
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Hi.
One of my main goals for 2023 was to write more.
I've had blogs in the past, and just focused too much on getting views than I did on getting words down. I figured tumblr was a great place to get those words out and to connect with others. So, here I am...
It has also been a few years since I've had a really good nights sleep. I have no issue typically falling asleep- its just the staying asleep part that has been the issue. As soon as I wake up I'm thinking about work, a project, the kids, the house..whatever... so maybe me getting my thoughts out will help with that as well.
Anyone wanting to read the boring life of a mom of 3- follow me. <3
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Going to my FIL's for breakfast when Dan gets home from work. The little big kid really loves seeing his grandpa and watching them together warms my heart. Furthest trip to a relative we see regularly and it's about 30 mins in the next state over lol. I guess that's one perk of living the smallest state in the country. Traveling to others' houses remains a bit tricky, not impossible because the kids are great but just tricky because of the planning and packing 😅 when going somewhere that doesn't have baby furniture or toys although, grandpa did get his little guy a highchair and a couple toys to play with which was really sweet. Gonna bring the pnp for little big kid's nap, a few blankets, some toys and the regular diaper bag stuff. Even more tricky as baby girl gets older too but, the quality time is worth it in the end.
Makes me really appreciate my mom getting us out and having fun when we could as kids. Especially when we were little and required a lot to get through the day and night.
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So, I have been diagnosed with this crazy thing called possible benign. I first read about it and I read how some people's feelings towards it were infuriating lol. I didn't understand why. Now i do. It is highly frustrating. I have 5 more months to sit here in limbo. And every time these cysts hurt and I ice them I try not surrendering into weak thoughts of negativity. So what it is, is I have some fibroglandular tissue, some cysts, and a lump in my left breast. And they can't say for sure it is breast cancer. So, they are gonna wait, 6 months and run more scans to see if it gets a lil worse to take more steps. I also have symptoms of a different thing but that is also up in the air. The first sightings was back in 2018, but no one said anything to me..wow!! But here we are today.Now I just wait I guess.. and we'll, I decided I will blog my boring life heh heh. Now, as an ex catholic I had so much guilt. If I had heard that I was possible benign, then, I would of spiraled..thinking I did something to deserve such a thing. I.. sinned.. some how. Now since finding out i have Viking blood in me, i changed my religion (i was soul-religion searching before hand)- I am embracing it. I am calm about it. I talk to Freya daily. I enjoyed the midsummer..Yes, it hurts. At times I have weak moments but I am not scared and I do not think any guiltful thoughts against myself. I just live, day to day. But, I'm not all doom and gloom..im more optimistic these days. As you can see from my past posts. My outlook on life, will and have changed. Even I am amazed.
#breast cancer#self love#cute#love#freya#vikingmom#momsoftumblr#momblog#myfirstblog#tumblrblog#possible benign
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my rant
I got an email from my son's soccer coach, it wasn't just sent to me but I know what he's talking about. At the last game the kids were kind of moving slowly so I said to my child " Johnny, look alive!". apparently there was a complaint about a "parent being mean to their kid" and some Karen felt the need to report it. The coach's email was very respectful but honestly why is this real life? Why do we live in a society where everyone is so damn sensitive that we can't even talk to our own kids without some involvement from someone that doesn't know me. I work damn hard to pay for my son's sports and make sure that kid is at every practice, game, dressed, drive him all over the state. I make personalized gifts for the kids on the team. The least my kid can do is run, have fun and look like he's giving an effort. So for the Karen/Nancy who was so offended by my comment- F*CK you. Sorry I expect my kid to give an effort. It's a competitive team a travel team you have to prove yourself every game. Some parents might be ok with their kid not doing anything, I am not. I am far from being a "medal to all" kind of mom. Work hard, do what you can and earn it.
11.04.2022
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And this morning SURPRISE SURPRISE it was absolutely scorching again as we are in the midst of another heatwave (I time my weeks off very well.) The kids were begging for an icey cold drink and I had some flavourings that I typically use to whip up cocktails or spruce up a gin and it suddenly dawned on me that I could probably make the kids a really nice cooler or a mocktail, so that was that! I nipped down to the shops and bought a lime, some lemonade, ect... and we made some icey coolers. Elijah had mandarin, lime and lemon and Aura had lime and lemon, they got to help, I taught them how to whip them up, They were very pleased! The drinks went down an absolute treat!
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The Booms of July
Red, White and Boom. Thank you for reading, until next time!
I was out in the front yard last night staring up at the night sky waiting. Waiting for the sounds of fireworks and the flashes of red, white, and blue. I like to watch them, and in my case, I have to watch them from afar. Junior is afraid of the booms, but if we aren’t too close to the action, he doesn’t seem to mine them too much.
Where we live, they often have a firework show every year on…
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#autism#autismlife#autismmom#bigfamilies#familytrips#fireworks#grouphug#july#lessons#lifelessons#love#momblog#momlife#nonverballybeautiful#summervibes
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Atticus - 5 weeks old. Our newest addition. Just on the precipice of actually showcasing a little personality by cooing and smiling at us. He is gonna be the sweet well mannered one i can tell! :p He was born 3 weeks early because i had practically no water left in my placenta, & besides a little jaundice he was very healthy. I can’t wait to get to know his disposition but i gotta say i love these little baby moments where they just live in your arms. <3
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3/25/2024
Daily writing promptHow often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?View all responses
As a child my favorite movie was Polyanna.
For those who were spared, it’s the story of a bright chipper young orphan who is adopted by her rich aunt. She is given the bare minimum in terms of anything that is not for show. So her room is an old servant’s quarters. The love she…
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🎄Christmas is right around the corner! Are you needing some energy but are tired of those energy drinks packed full of sugar and artificial ingredients?! I found a refreshing better alternative with @bizzenergydrink! It's a refreshing energy drink made with absolutely no sugar! Just a yummy formula of all natural ingredients including turkesterone, creatine and essential amino acids for strength! Plus niacin and biotin for an active metabolism.
🩷 Love the pink lemonade taste and how it gives me a clean, sustained boost of energy with no crash. It also gives me way more endurance, mental focus, and physical performance too! It's the best #cleanenergy solution for just about anyone who needs a boost. To learn more and try it for yourself visit https://bizzenergy.com
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Just got my hands on the cutest t-shirt ever! 🐱 If you're a proud cat mom like me, you need this in your wardrobe ASAP.
Super comfy and stylish, perfect for any cat lover out there 😻👚🐾 Get yours now! https://joannink.com/products/in-my-cat-mom-era-t-shirt
#catmom#tshirtdesign#catlover#JoannInk#mycatisweird#momlife#workingmomlife#mystyle#workingmom#strangecat#picoftheday#mom#mycity#happyday#catlovers#gymislife#momboss#momblog#boymom#catlife#mommyandme#catoftheday
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Why Can't I Breathe?
For the first 3 months postpartum, every morning when I opened my eyes I was consumed by fear and sadness. I was scared that I would have to go through another entirely new day full of the unexpected. Would my son cry a lot today? Would he feed okay? Would he want to be held for most of the day? There were too many unknowns and I had no idea what to expect. It was unfamiliar territory and it made…
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Rain rain go away
🎧
Disclaimer – I’m loud, so turn ya volume on low, lol. Also, I’m in my car (safely recording) so you’ll hear rain, driving, all the noises..my bad).
P.S. Here’s the scripture I was trying to reference in my random rant❤️
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”John…
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Teething.
Battling a cold.
Got immunizations today.
Everything this little boy is having to deal w/ right now! 😭 The heartbreak as a mama watching your baby's face when pain hits them like is just a whole different level of devestating. I would rather take a dozen needles to the forehead lol. Sends me right back to the days leading up to and after his surgery when he was a newborn.
It's been a hard week. I know we're all really tired and in the midst of illness and it's just wearing on us a bit. My poor littles need so much more lovin's and attention and patience and I wish I could just be immune to any sickness so I could give them my all without being this run down. I am exaugsted. Both babies haven't been sleeping well so I feel drained but worth it every time to be there and comfort them when they need me even if I could sleep for a solid week.
Tomorrow is a new day. My boy and girl will feel better tomorrow and we'll get nice, crisp fresh air in our lungs and eat delicious, healthy, fresh food and we'll laugh and play and sing and dance and do all of the baby and toddler Things. 🥰🧒🏼👶🏻
#dan made steak and cheese eggrolls tn for dinner#bear ate pasta and cheese and broccoli with homemade chicken nuggs#and actually ate!!!! ☺☺#momblogger#momblog#momlife#sahm
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