You know those times you are making yourself food and you finish everything so perfectly. Like you timed every part of the meal for it to be fresh and ready to eat. I just did that and it makes me so freaking happy everytime it happens. It's not often but when it does it is amazing. I was making myself a scrambled egg with Canadian bacon, spinach, and onion when I realized I forgot to prepare my tortilla that I usually eat it with. But it was perfect because the egg was still cooking while I put the first tortilla on the pan and then my egg was finished and I got it onto a plate and put it in the microwave. Meanwhile my first tortilla was done so popped that bad boy in the tortilla warmer and went on to my second one and everything was still warm when I was done. And I got to sit down with my food and a cup of iced coffee.
I had a nightmare last night but I think this meal and morning have made up for it so far.
Remember to find joy in the little things. In the seemingly mundane acts. Have a gorgeous day or night my tumble friends 😌
when the static in your brain is too much and the marks on your skin look angrier than usual just know your not alone in your struggle. There will always be someone who will walk beside you even if you cant see them
getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.
you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)
and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.
We have moved past Maya and Franziska wingmanning narumitsu as a society. They would not fucking do that. We need to realise the truth which is that Larry and Gumshoe would try to wingman them and only succeed through failure