#monkeyfic

[widowsresolve]

Clintasha Advent 2022 Day 15: Rivalry

Natasha took a deep breath and drew the bow, holding for a moment as she marginally adjusted her aim before she loosed the arrow.

Even from the distance she stood away from the target on the range, it wasn't hard to tell that her arrow had hit a ring away from the bullseye.

"Close, but not quite," Clint commented from behind her with an almost smug note in his voice.

She lowered the bow as she turned back to cast him a pointed look. "I'll get the hang of it."

"I mean, you're only going up against years of experience and a natural knack for it…" He broke into an unapologetic grin as she affectionately rolled her eyes. "And you're always welcome to give in on the bet."

"You wish," Natasha retorted. She angled back to face the target and grabbed another arrow, confident she wouldn't hit the first. "I still have nine to go."

The concept of the bet was simple: whichever one of them hit more bullseyes with the other's usual weapon under mostly equalizing conditions didn't have to write mission reports for three weeks. In practice they were each slightly more competitive about it than anticipated.

True to Natasha's expectation, her second arrow hit closer to the bullseye than the first, prompting her to smirk back at him. "See? Getting the hang of it."

"Still not the bullseye, Romanoff," he teased.

#clintasha advent #clintasha advent 2022 #clintashaadvent2022 #clintasha #clint barton #natasha romanoff #monkeyfic #I'll catch up a little one of these days 😅

[c0ffeeb1ack]

kind of interesting how we never really see the events of the hargreeves' "missions" as kids other than that first episode, but we do see the aftermath of them with both luther's unconsensual monkeyfication and ben being dead. someone better at media analysis pick this up please 🙏

#tuamre #tuamre s1e4 #tua mass rewatch extravaganza

[surlifen]

freak monkeyfication for karp!

#dollar store pen

[taichouu]

But Taichouuuu 😩 Golden lion tamarins are so cute! They’re pretty much the monkeyfication of Kyojuro Rengoku.

Oh hell no what the fuck is this thing

#tai talks #anonymous #DONT YOU TAICHOUUU ME #..actually do. thats kind of cute but regardless #i have never seen a single monkey that i have thought was cute. never in my life #doesnt matter if theyre in human clothes if theyre babies if theyre small idc !!!! #lemurs are ok. they are the only primate that i like and think are cute

[realhankmccoy]

Wowza... even freakier. I mean don't even ask me, kids, to fish out the almost half dozen emails where Bruce told me he only feels pity for me, and how i told him that's how I know he's a real asshole piece of shit -- because he weaponises 'pity' into just another vicious cartoon zinger instead of understanding the human meaning of it -- these people flush away 95% of the human from their life in order to spike and puff themselves up like pufferfish do.

"I only feel pity for your terrible life"... trust it prob can't be terrible than a momma's boy eating German cuisine (blech) in a city he never leaves and having a shitfit over how he wants Ukrainian refugees, women and children to hurry up and fucking die already -- which just goes to show Christina too LOVES the idea of massive amounts of people getting hurt and demonstrates it by the company she praises, just like Grimes is a spoiled, schnookered piece of Wonderbread serving the forces that be -- tale as old as time when a cuck becomes a cuck for what doggy treats and Wonderbread security the cuck, weak and lazy as it is, hopes to get.

'please give me an exact quote' is the sort of thing Bruce does too to deflect from everythin he just wished upon people. I of course myself have in my messages all the half dozen times the dumb Nazi wished pain and death on the Ukranians. It's really tedious... these 'talk strong be strong' people make themselves look like idiot children in their hyperventilating aggro.

i cannot even with the schoolgirl idiot Westerner weaponisation of karma, which is so typical of white people to do -- no interest in any of that spirituality except what they think hurts somebody... and they don't understand what karma is, ever, just as the Nazi doesn't. they only ever use the word as a source of vengeance, tho of course that's just a monkeyfication of a more complex concept that the scorner of Buddhism appropriates for his own wrath.

in other words... as usual.... we're dealing with a stupid as fuck Nazi

Nazis always appropriated from Buddhism -- that's where the swastika comes from -- and turned it into an aggressive piece of shit concept.

Did you know that nations being invaded by renegade totalitarian nations is 'a matter of opinion'? it is to a Nazi! It sure was to Hitler. IT IS MEIN OPINION THAT POLAND BE INVADED. k.

Anyhow kids

better politically correct bullshit -- 100 times better

than the politically incorrect bullshit of a dumb Nazi

I'll tell ya Hwhat.

I guess this is what idiot rightists sound like whether they're writing from Germany or from Japan in English. What ur-source they're cucking themselves to and emerging as clones of out to get this stupid, i don't know. It's not the River Styx, that's for fucking sure. It's probably the River Stupid, but i don't even know what continent that is on for sure. I would suspect North America, somewhere in the part that's labelled The United States of America on the map.

the River Stupid may be underground... it could even be aboveground, one never knows, but it turns out cloned, hateful idiocy that looks like this effort to destroy somebody with decent values:

#mommie dearest

[zontiky]

AU where Ben doesn’t die (and you can’t just say he saves the world with his logic!! You gotta get IN DETAIL)

has it been literal months and should i have done this way earlier, yes and yes 

I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK THOUGHTS BREE

(come on brain, think of things, come on brain, think of things, come on brain, be so smart-) ahem yes anyway

do i have to explain how ben didnt die? no but im gonna

so if we’re going off the fun (/s) theory of “the horror goes berserk and kills ben” or any other takes on “death by tentacle monster” then i propose:

my dear boy bennethy benjamin benson the sixth only rips himself up a little bit

like just a little

OR he dies but he gets better so its okay

anyway ben does not die and fast forward to their thirties

bree you’re not my MOM you’re not allowed to tell me how much i can have ben just be SMART so their family ISN’T falling apart because ben is THERE being the BRAINCELL and lending out WITS yes yes good

luther is not on the moon, because ben didn’t die so he didn’t feel guilty enough to stay, and when reggie sent him on the mission ben was like “...bro we should get coffee. lets skip out on saving this radioactive material and like. go sip some starbucks”

i never said ben was smart 

hes logical but are any of them truly smart

“yes,” says the liar. “no,” says t.he wise old man on the top of the hill. “actually yes but they’re all dumbasses,” says me

ok ok so but 

because ben is alive, this is the shit that does go down:

luther doesnt go to the moon, and he deserves good things so?? no monkeyfication?? blease

diego doesnt give up on being a police officer (klaus voice: hah bootlicker) and doesnt have a bad breakup with eudora, ben is cool like bens tend to be and just psychoanalyses their relationship so they work through their problems, like ADULTS

allison still lowkey screws up her marriage but like a little less? they still divorce but on less bad terms, and she and claire can visit and claire stays with allie on weekends or something

klaus

klaus does not turn to homelessness and whatever the hell klaus has been doing

why, you ask? because this time around be is perfectly physical and can and has punched him 

then five is gone

and ben is a writer maybe because idk i think that’d be neat ok like please let him vent his feeling while making money sakjfsh that a joke but hes valid

vanya!! doesnt write the goddamn book!! fuck!!! 

basically theyre like,,,, omg,,, an actual family woahhhhh

so then reggie dies right and theyre like “eh might as well go, maybe they’ll have scones”

and five comes back and everyone is like :0

ok ok ok so five didnt know anyone was alive bc there was no book right????? so like hes going into this blind 

basically,,,, ben is the family glue,,,, he has the braincells,,,,, he keeps them together,,,, is this good enough bree is this valid

FINE ill keep going smh tho

so at the theater (yes im skipping to vanya somehow losing is (idk how tho) and now shes twv-ing at the theater. unhinged rep, i love her) and ben is like 

“i have not used the horror since i left home. coolio klaus hold my beer”

he doesnt drink tho bc im assuming that fucks with the wigglies

and ben wrecks stuff but,,, carefully,,,

murders some temps guys

when vanya laserbeams the ceiling and the moon falls

this is where i get cool and overpower ben

ben just lets hordes of tentacles like

*whoosing noises*

the HOLD UP THE MOON BECAUSE BEN IS A PUNKASS BITCH AND I LOVE HIM

THEN STRAIGHT UP YEET THE ROCK BACK INTO SPACE

PROBABLY CRASH DOWN A SATELLITE WHICH,,, WHOOPS

BUT YEAH THATS HOW BEN BENNETHY BENITO BENJAMIN BENSON BENNERLY BENTHONY HARGREEVES 

SA VE D THE WO RLD 

the end 

askdjhskf IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED BREE??? @ur-a-lizard-hairy IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU????

#akfhsdkhds #tua #the umbrella academy #ben hargreeves #alive ben au #number six #aus #hcs #headcanons #nik words #long post #asks #ren #ftag #<333 im tired sorry if this is shit but like???? i actually really vibe with this au

[trailerparkk]

Saru Getchu ~On Air~ - Episode 14 (Specter Goes Too Far)

Suggested by @monkeyfables

#ape escape #saru getchu #saru getchu on air #anime #2000s anime #3d anime #my gifs #ok to rb! #gifset #gif

[mr-haitch-but-lewd]

I have a few requests. Could we see more Big Hero 6 monkeyfication?

I actually did have a sketch for a follow up from ages ago, I just, I dunno got a little burned out by it and I had already drawn TFs of my favourite characters? If people want to see this done I would though.

#asks

[widowsresolve]

Chapter 52!

“Hey,” Clint lightheartedly warned as Natasha reached across him to snag a cherry tomato. “Those aren’t for munching tonight.” She smirked at him in unapologetic challenge and coyly said, “I don’t see you stopping me.” “You get one freebie.” Without breaking eye contact, Natasha popped the tomato into her mouth and started to reach for another only for Clint to gently grab her wrist. “Not a snack bar.”

Read on AO3

#clintasha fic #clint barton #natasha romanoff #marvel fanfic #monkeyfic #we're still alive here life has just been busy #but redamancy verse lives in my head 24/7

[c0ffeeb1ack]

not sure how I feel about gratuitous pre-monkeyfication luther abs shot

#tuamre #tua mass rewatch extravaganza #tuamre s1e4 #i read this over and i realize it's absolutely incomprehensible #dont even worry about it though #watch the first few seconds of the ep and youll know what im talking about

[markoftheasphodel]

Financial advisor for the multi-million training fund on which I sit circa first quarter 2017: “The markets are EXCITED about all the OPPORTUNITIES presented by PRESIDENT TRUMP!!!”

Financial advisor for same, first quarter 2019: “So, we recommend you transfer outta the emerging markets funds into something low-risk and eliminate the hedge fund that lost 13.7% last quarter...”

Who’s excited now, you monkeyf*cks?

#work sux #and so does il duce

[91625]

ratfic: rationalist fiction.

catfic: catholic fiction.

monkeyfic: irrationalist fiction.

dogfic: protestant fiction?

birdfic: the whole Aristophanes-Pratchett thing, I guess?

#hmm #fic meta

[fujimilovers]

its because hes a monkey i cant stress this enough i love monkeys i saw him pre monkeyfication and i was like this is just some guy who cares but hes a monkey now so im obsessed i love monkeys so much sorry its 5 am

#THIS IS TWISTED DOWN WITH THE CATGIRLS WHERE ARE THE MONKEY PEOPLE????? #literally love monkeys so much my favorite animals

[widowsresolve]

Clintasha Advent 2022 Day 11: In sickness and in health

It wasn't like Natasha to be late for one of their early morning sparring sessions.

Clint waited an extra ten minutes and double checked his messages just to see if he had missed a reason why she wasn't there before he headed to her room on the base and knocked twice in succession on the door. "Natasha?" he asked, careful to keep his volume measured out of respect to the other sleeping agents in nearby rooms.

No initial response.

He knocked again. "Natasha?" Clear concern bled into his voice. "You okay? Or even in there?"

Another long moment passed to the point he was almost ready to try again when she finally opened the door.

To his immediate worry, she looked haggard and didn't look him directly in the eye. "Not feeling great," she weakly managed to say, her voice hoarse. "Sorry for missing training."

"Forget training," Clint immediately said, sympathy lining his tone, "you just focus on resting." He gave her an appraising once-over and caught a subtle shake in her hands. "Hey," he softly said, prompting her to look at him, her expression surprisingly vulnerable. "I'm just gonna grab a few things and be right back to help, you can just lay down and I'll take care of the logistics, okay?"

"You don't need to do that," she started to insist, her voice barely coming out above a whisper.

He cast her a patient but pointed look. "Partners look out for each other, and trust me, it's not a problem." After a second he added, "Are you okay if I let Coulson know too?"

Natasha was silent for a long moment of clear deliberation before she nodded. "Okay." She narrowed her eyes. "But I don't want to see a doctor."

"Hopefully it's just something that'll pass then," Clint brightly said, knowing it wouldn't escape her notice that he couldn't promise not to encourage her to see a doctor if it was needed.

Regardless, she finally relented into laying back down while he contacted Coulson and collected an assortment of sick day items for health and entertainment before he returned.

"I've got a little bit of everything just to cover our bases," he explained as he unpacked a bag of food items in her small kitchen space. "Have you eaten anything yet?"

Natasha had obligingly stayed in her bed but sat on it instead while wrapped up in a blanket as she watched him move through her space. "I haven't tried, only water."

He nodded. "Any nausea?"

"I don't think so, I'm only generally miserable," she croaked.

"Mmkay, oatmeal sound like a good breakfast? I've got cinnamon apple and maple brown sugar for flavors."

"Cinnamon apple."

"Awesome."

Clint busied himself in food prep and kept conversation going with whatever came to mind as Natasha slowly ate and started to look at least marginally less frightfully pale.

After she finished the oatmeal and let him take the bowl to wash for her she caught his wrist to prompt him to pause. "You don't have to stay with me. I'll manage."

"I'm sure you would, but I don't think you should have to be miserable and alone. Besides," he casually shrugged with one shoulder, "it's probably good for me to take a relaxed day too." After a second he added, "But if you do really want space, just say so and I'll leave."

Her hold slightly tightened around his wrist before she let go. "You can stay if you want."

Clint warmly smiled at her. "Sounds good."

#clintasha advent #clintasha advent 2022 #clintasha #clintasha fic #clintashaadvent2022 #clint barton #natasha romanoff #monkeyfic

[widowsresolve]

Chapter 53!

Clint waited for the elevator doors to close and provide relative privacy before he angled towards Natasha and wryly asked, “Am I on track to guess the plan is to infiltrate the closest Roxxon building for a lead on that footage?” She reached past him to press the button for his floor before hers. “Their HQ is in Chelsea, I figure even starting blind we can be in and out within a few hours.” He nodded. “You thinking of risking a direct entrance?” “I think we need to.” Before Clint could respond she added, “I’ll get a veil programmed for you, meet in twenty downstairs? Business cover.”

Read on AO3

#clintasha fic #clint barton #natasha romanoff #marvel fanfic #monkeyfic #clintasha #redamancy

[widowsresolve]

Clintasha Advent 2022: Day 4 - Toys and Games

“Zefir?” Clint incredulously questioned as Natasha laid out the word on the Scrabble board. “Is that real?”

“Mmhmm.” A restrained smirk pulled at the corners of her mouth as she pointedly tapped on the ‘E’ tile. “And worth triple.”

“Dammit.” He let his face fall for a moment before he nudged her leg under the table and added, “So if you’re gonna probably win with it, care to enlighten me on what zefir means?”

Natasha nodded as she drew new letter tiles. “It’s a type of treat, like a marshmallow mixed with fruit. Russian.”

He hummed in acknowledgement. “Guess I’ll accept it as a fair win if we can find some of it once we’re back.”

#will i find the time to catch up on previous days? who knows #will i probably fall behind? definitely. but i'll pop in as i can #clintashaadvent2022 #clintasha advent 2022 #clintasha #clint barton #natasha romanoff #monkeyfic #also i don't think i've ever actually played scrabble?? #so forgive any glaring inaccuracies lol