#monsta X angst

[spacequokka]

About Time

Pairing: Changkyun x Reader Genre: Angst, Smut Rating: M Summary: You broke the number rule of fuck buddies and ghosted him. You think you don’t have to answer for that? Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: mentions of drinking, fingering, public unprotected vaginal sex, hair pulling, biting, creampie

Arrow: Gold > Friends (with benefits!) to Lovers AU

Thanks to everyone in @kvanity-main​ who patiently put up with my 99 questions and requests. Extra thanks to @jinsquishes​ for the beautiful banner. I recommend nvrmnd, Die for You, God Damn, and Horizon for this. Happy Valentine’s Day my lovelies!

One would assume a dark, crowded club would be the best place to avoid someone you’re ghosting. How could you ever hope to find anyone through all the bodies and smoke? Now add the fact that the person you’re avoiding hates places like this, and it should be perfect. Right?

Wrong.

Because across the fucking room with a red solo cup in one hand and a vape in the other was none other than the last person you planned to see tonight. You fully expected to see the Easter Bunny before Changkyun’s molten stare. A sharp elbow to your side yanked you out of the mental sinkhole you fell into the second your eyes met his.

“What the fuck are you staring at—” Vita followed your line of sight and gasped dramatically. “Ain’t no way. I thought he hated clubs. What the fuck is he doing here?”

You sputtered something that could’ve been a response in baby talk, mind thoroughly fucked as you scrambled to get your shit together. Quickly tossing back the rest of your drink, you looked around, frantically searching for the nearest exit. You’d even jump out of a third-story window at this moment.

“I’ve gotta get the fuck out of here.” You threw your cup away. “I can’t be here.”

“Wait, what?” She pulled on your arm. “No! Don’t leave me! You swore you’d hang out with me tonight.”

“Well, that was before Korean John Wick popped up looking like he’s gonna take me out with a pencil.” You looked at her, eyes pleading for understanding. “What if he comes over? He’s gonna ask why I’m not answering his calls and texts. What the fuck am I gonna say to him?”

Her grip tightened. “Be honest with him! Just flat out say you caught feelings and the situation doesn’t vibe for you anymore. I’m pretty sure he’d appreciate you being upfront with him instead of pulling this hide-and-go-seek shit.”

“Oh, fuck you, smart ass. You dodged Taehyung for weeks before you nutted up and told him the truth.”

Shock flashed in her eyes before she let go. “Wow. Digging deep in the past, ain’t you? At least I fucking told him.”

“Right.” You looked back at Changkyun. The cup and vape were gone, but his eyes were still on you as he watched with curiosity. “So I have at least another week or two before you can talk shit. God, he looks like he’s gonna come over. If he does…”

“Jesus, _____, just spit the words out and be done with it.” She crossed her arms. “It’s better than dragging this out any longer. Trust me. What’s he gonna do? Dump you? You’re not dating. At the most, he’ll agree it won’t work and walk away. He isn’t the type to make a scene.”

As if to piss on her logic, Changkyun pushed away from the wall and headed in your direction, snaking through people without taking his eyes off you. Pure fear made your heart stutter as you grabbed her shoulders.

“Yeah, right. Tell him that, will you? I’m getting the fuck out of here.” You darted to the side. Stupid fucking heels and stupid fucking drinks made it hard to coordinate your limbs in a way that put as much space between you and the quiet storm behind you as fast as you could. Sure, it was a cowardly thing to do, but you weren’t in any shape to have a decent conversation with him. An honest one. One that formally put an end to the nights that bled into mornings where he’d cuddle you as the sun rose. To the moments you cherished while confusing you.

Not yet. You needed more time. Just a little more time.

Your eyes stung as you pushed your way through to the nearest glowing green ceiling sign. You just wanted out, away. Anything but face the truth, the inevitable hurt. The chilly night air was refreshing on your heated face when you stepped out the door. The panic softened just enough for your head to clear. Okay, you were in an alley. You just needed to figure out which way the street was so you could get a Lyft and—

The door opened behind you. Panic shot through you like shards of ice as you looked over your shoulder in horror and watched Changkyun step out. Time crawled to a stop as he adjusted his black leather jacket, pulling on the collar of his matching silk shirt. “Are you done running from me?”

Your mouth opened and closed as each train of thought derailed before making it to your lips. Running? In which sense? You turned around to face him, intent on saying something but ultimately failing because what the fuck should you say?

The longer he waited for you to speak, the more intense his stare got. “You realize the whole point of being fuck buddies is to actually fuck, right?” He pulled the door shut behind him then put his hands into his pocket, and cocked his head to the side. “And I’m not sure if you noticed, but uh, we haven’t fucked since—what—three weeks ago?”

“Something more like two and a half.” You mumbled.

His eyebrows rose. “Oh, so she does remember how to communicate.” He looked away and nodded, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “Since I’m not worth the effort of a call or text, I won’t waste your time. Just tell me why we’re not fucking anymore and I’ll be on my way.” He gestured at you with his hand in his coat pocket. “Go on. Is it someone else?”

There was something in the way his frown and grouchy words didn’t match the flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. Though it was brief, for a second you saw the Changkyun you wished you could be with all the time. The one who was emotionally available. “N-no. I haven’t…no one but you, Kyun.”

Confusion creased his brow even more. “So, then what is it? I give it to you good, right? I mean, the way you can’t even get out of bed after—”

“It’s not that. I promise.” You bit your lip and looked at your feet. “Please, Kyun. It’s hella stupid. I just…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say it. He was expecting some grand, logical reason when in reality it was so fucking…simple.

“What is it?” He prodded. His gaze dragged over your body before he looked away and changed his stance. “Jeez, you don’t have to overthink everything. Just spit it out.” He closed his eyes, swallowed, and lowered his voice. “Just say it.”

Maybe it was the sudden softness in his words that made your chest tighter as your throat and eyes burned. Right. Just say it. Let go and move on. You took a deep, shuddering breath. “I-I can’t do this anymore.”

His face tightened for a second as if he’d flinched from pain. For a solid minute, neither of you said a word, listening to the ambiance around you. The cars passing by on the street. The muffled bass of the music inside the club. The hum of electricity from the flickering streetlight nearby. Just when you thought you couldn’t take another moment of silence, he asked, “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“No!” You reached out and nearly touched him before thinking better of it. “No. It’s me. My mistake. I—” You swallowed and looked around the dimly lit alley as if the words you needed to say would jump out and save your ass. How could you tell him the truth without ripping your heart out in the process? You hugged yourself and shut your eyes, willing the unshed tears to back the fuck off. You could cry it out later. Not here. Not in front of him. He’d told you plenty of times tears did nothing for him. “Fuck. When we started this, we both agreed to keep it casual. No feelings.”

He inhaled sharply and took a step forward. The crunch of the ground under his shoes made your eyes snap open. A mistake. His eyes widened upon seeing the tears lining yours. “Baby—”

You shook your head and hugged yourself tighter. “A-at first, that worked for me, Kyun. I swear it did. Sex with you is the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced so far in life. You’re amazing, so please don’t question that. But, as we got to know each other more, things got…complicated.”

“Really. Complicated, how?” He took another step closer and you took one back. “What complication justifies shutting me out?”

Your body sagged as your chest tightened to the point of pain. “Please, don’t make me say it.”

“I deserve to know the truth, don’t I? I’ve spent more time in the past six months in bed with you than I have on my own. I got to the point where I’m not used to waking up alone.” He licked his lips and exhaled hard. “Like, I get that fuck buddies aren’t as close as we are. Maybe friends with benefits doesn’t cover it either. Whatever it is, it’s good, right?”

You hated how your heart colored his words with hope and yearning. This wasn’t the same guy who swore to you he couldn’t do relationships. That you’d never catch him doing lovey-dovey couple stuff. That wasn’t him. Commitment wasn’t in his skillset. “For you.” You bit out after a gulp of air. “It’s good for you. I-I can’t separate the physical from the emotional stuff.” You looked at him through tears. “I tried so hard to keep it casual. I reminded myself over and over that you can’t give me lo—more. But you confused me! Insisting I stay each night, waking up with you. Telling me I’m beautiful and insisting we hang out for fun. How was I supposed to keep my heart out of it?”

His expression went blank, completely clueless as he stared at you. “What?”

“God, Kyun. For someone who says otherwise, you do the boyfriend thing really well.” You dried your face by dabbing at it with your coat sleeve. “For a minute, you had me imagining what it’d be like. And once I got to that point, I knew I couldn’t go on with this anymore. It hurts like hell to want someone in a way they’ll never want you.”

Changkyun blinked a few times before understanding dawned on his pretty face. “Oh.” He got a distant look in his eyes, looking down the alley at the street. “So…you caught feelings for me?”

Your arms dropped to your sides. The gut punch wasn’t as painful as you thought it’d be, but it still hurt. “I know I should’ve talked to you. I just…didn’t know what to say or how to say it.”

He bit his bottom lip and nodded then took a step towards you. You automatically took a step back so he took another. And another. And another. Your back collided with the wall of the building behind you and before you knew it, he was pressed against you, chest to chest, and looking into your eyes with an expression you’d never seen on his face before. Worse of all, it made your stomach turn with excitement in a way that only he ever could incite. His fingertips caressed your cheek before they traced down to your neck.

“Say it again,” his voice was low and warm like coffee on your tongue, “tell me what you imagined being with me was like.”

You sucked in cold air noticing how the tip of your nose was getting numb. “I—this isn’t a joke, Kyun!” You pushed at his chest. “I’m being serious—”

His fingers curled around the back of your neck and gently squeezed. “And so am I. I wanna hear it.” He pulled you close until your foreheads touched then gently rubbed his nose against yours. “You made me go weeks without hearing your voice or seeing your face over this. So, give it all to me. Every single thought. Make the pain worth it.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. “I told you. It’s dumb. I just pictured stupid couple stuff like taking selfies, holding hands in front of your friends, or cuddling on a rainy day.”

He hummed as his fingertips caught the hem of your skirt. “I admit, that does sound like stupid couple stuff.” You scoffed and tried to pull away, so he quickly followed with, “But I’d do them with you if you really wanted to. At this point, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do with you. For you. To you.”

“What?” You searched his eyes, mind reeling as his words echoed in your head.

“Let me make a little confession of my own.” His free hand gripped your jaw between his thumb and index finger as the other splayed across your thigh. “Since I last saw you, I haven’t been out much. Maybe to the store. At first I thought maybe you were just busy. But then Jooheon would tell me he saw you out with your friend and each time I wondered if it was me. Maybe you were avoiding me.” He pulled your leg up on his hip. “At first, I told myself I didn’t care. That you’d get over whatever the fuck you were going through and come back when you were ready. But you never did.”

You gasped as his hand wandered between your bodies and toyed with the edge of your panties. “Kyun—”

“No, no. Shh. Listen to me. I need you to know how hard it was to stay away and give you space, baby. No one else touches this dick but you.” It was hard to focus on his words when his fingers started to stroke your clit through the sheer fabric. “I don’t even get hard at the thought of fucking anyone but you. That whole time you were gone? It was just me and my hand.” His lips brushed against yours, but he didn’t kiss you and smiled when you started to chase his mouth. “Just like you, hm? What did you use?”

His fingers pushed your panties aside and cupped your pussy, middle finger pressing between your folds. “My toys—oh, god—and fingers.” Your breath hitched as he dipped his finger inside.

He moved his hand from your chin to the wall. “Did they feel good? Better than me?” You shook your head and he bit his lip, rewarding your honesty with the rest of his finger buried to the hilt. “You look so fucking hot right now. This skirt. This top.” He leaned in and nipped at your neck, soothing the skin with a lick as he worked his finger in and out. “I saw you as soon as I walked in. Wanted you right then. Needed you…”

His words were smoke in your head, creating a dense fog of him that made you burn from the inside out. Your hips rolled on his hand, pace increasing when he added another finger. You were vaguely aware of how fucked out and needy you sounded as he pulled moans from you with just his hand. His lips caught yours and ended with a playful bite as he pulled his hand away.

“As needy as the last time we did this, huh?” He groaned in your ear, low and husky as he fumbled with his pants. You couldn’t even respond, too focused on helping him work the belt buckle and zipper. The second his dick was free, he pushed his pants down to his thighs and reached for yours. “Get up here.”

One leg went around his waist, and with a hop, so was the other. You put your arms around his neck. Using the wall for leverage, he gave you sloppy, frantic kisses as he held you up by your thighs, feeling around with the head of his dick for your entrance. You squealed when it pressed into your clit and he chuckled into your mouth as he angled his hips just right and—

“Say it, baby.” He hissed as he pushed in slowly. “Tell me again why you ghosted me.” You tightened your grip, nails digging into the sleeves of your coat, as his dick stretched you with an ache you missed. When it felt like it’d never stop, he was fully seated inside and twitching every time you clenched. “Say it.”

“B-because I fell for you.” You whimpered when he pulled back then snapped his hips once. A warning. “Ah! Fuck, Kyun.”

“I wanna hear you say it.”

You squeezed your eyes shut and hid your face. “I love you. I did it because I love you and I thought you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“Fucking finally.” He brushed a kiss to the side of your face and adjusted his grip on your thighs. “About time you came around, baby.” With another snap of his hips, he set a steady pace that he’d occasionally interrupt by grinding his pelvis against your clit, determined to get you both there as quickly as possible. “Need you to cum with me. Missed you so much. I hate waking up without you next to me. Need you th—Ah, fuck. So tight.”

Your fingertips caught the ends of his hair and you pulled on it. In response his strokes grew longer, deeper as he let you drop onto his length with a clap of skin. Every time he moved, sparks danced up your spine and through your limbs. “Oh, fuck!”

“It’s been so long, baby. Just a—just a little longer. I’m almost there.” He nudged your head back and kissed you hard, a clash of lips and tongue as he swallowed your moans while feeding you his own. You were vaguely aware of how the bricks dug into your back and hips, too lost in the pleasure you were drowning in. How had you stayed away from him for so long when he could do shit like this to you? You were crumbling to pieces in his arms, on his dick, and for once it didn’t scare you shitless. You could trust him to put you back together. You held his face and kissed him harder, trying to match his intensity. When he caught your tongue and sucked on it, you fell apart. You came hard, convulsing in his arms as he leaned back and switched to quick strokes, moaning your name as he reached his high. “Oh, shit. Fuck, baby, fuck. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

He leaned against you with a whimper as his body rode the wave, pressing up into you as he stuffed your pussy with cum. Your lips met after a few misses and you laughed through a kiss. The kiss slowly turned to light pecks between shy smiles as he rubbed your thighs. “My back is gonna be so sore in the morning.”

He snorted and kissed you once more before helping you down onto your shaky feet. “That’s not the only thing that’ll be sore. The night is young.”

You playfully swatted his arm as you fixed your panties and skirt. “Ugh. My panties are wet and sticky.”

His arm came around your waist and pulled you against him. “My car’s not that far. We could go back to my place.”

The thought of leaving with him reminded you of what he’d said not too long ago. “…Did you mean it? Or was that just heat of the moment talk?”

He looked into your eyes. “I’ve been in love with you since the first night you stayed over.”

“What?! Kyun, that was like the first month into this. There’s no way—” He cut you off with a kiss, this one sweet and tender as if he’d break you with his lips.

“I didn’t say anything because I remembered the rules. It seemed like you were okay with the way things were so I was okay with it. As long as I knew I was the only one you went to, I could live like that.” He looked into your eyes as his thumb brushed over your bottom lip before brushing over your hair. “Then suddenly you were gone without an explanation why…and I realized I didn’t want to let you go. Not without a good reason. So, yeah. I meant it. And just in case you don’t believe me, I love you. And I’d love you even without the sex. My heart is yours…so take care of it.” He gave you a shy yet bratty pout.

You blinked and fanned your face, turning away so he couldn’t see. “I’ll do my best. Um, so to your place?”

He threaded your fingers together. “Yup.” He pulled you along towards the street. “We can take a shower, drink some water, then work on getting another noise complaint from my neighbors.”

“What are you gonna do when your landlord finally kicks your ass out?”

He looked at you and smiled. “Look for a place to share with you.”

#kcupid #kvanity #thekpopuniverse #mxnetwork #monsta x smut #monsta x angst #changkyun x reader #changkyun x you #changkyun smut #changkyun angst #i.m x reader #i.m x you #i.m smut #i.m angst #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #hbd kyun <3 #happy valentine's day

[iibonniee]

A Quick Visit | Lee Minhyuk

Pairing: Lee Minhyuk x Reader

Genre: Smut, military!minhyuk

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving), angst, fluff

Rating: R

Word Count: 12k

Summary: After hearing little from her lover, he decides to give her a late-night surprise. His promise to make it up to her kept her up through the night until she could confront him in the morning.

Masterlist

It never dawned on Y/N that a lover could become a stranger just as quickly as a friend could become a stranger. Whenever distance was thrown into the mix, schedules often became too busy to keep up with simple things, such as a text back.

This fact hung heavily on Y/N’s heart as Minhyuk’s enlistment approached. Her world was suspended, dangerously swinging between past warmth and future uncertainty. The impending distance, the changing schedules, and the quiet unease that unfolded in her thoughts were a recipe for feared isolation.

Minhyuk, however, was well aware of the turbulence shaking her spirit. He could see the pain reflected in her eyes, hear the worry lacing her laughter, and sense the tension in her every touch. So, with a heart full of assurance and lips armed with loving words, he chose to bring her comfort.

“Listen,” he would gently coax, cradling her face in his steady hands, urging her eyes to lock with his. “We’ve weathered more than distance before,” he would assert, his gaze steady, voice firm yet soothing. “Our connection isn’t just measured in miles or minutes; it’s held together by something stronger, something untouchable - our love.”

His words, his steadfast belief in their unbreakable bond, were a bandage for her fears. The understanding in his eyes, his unwavering confidence in their relationship gave her a sense of peace that the tickling hands of worry struggled to displace.

She never felt wrong in her life.

As the cold dawn of Minhyuk’s enlistment day dawned, Y/N found herself standing alongside the other members of his group, their collective grief palpable in the heavy air. The sun shining above them gave her no warmth — one she needed so much but refused to offer such grace.

The stark reality of their possibly changing relationship weighed heavily on her, feeling more real and definite than any of his soothing words of assurance. Minhyuk’s farewell was marked by a kiss. Their lips met in a fragile dance, full of promise but underscored by the bitter pang of impending separation. A promise pronounced in whispers followed that emotional kiss.

“I will message and call whenever I can,” he promised, his voice as steady as the heartbeat Y/N felt against his chest. “You will be the first person to hear from me.”

He’d text and call when he could, semi-keeping to a promise he had sealed off with a kiss. Slowly, those texts and calls grew to almost nothing; his voice on the other end turned from highly expected music into hope. His silence roared louder than the busy chaos of the world and bustling city life, reminding her each day of the gaping distance between them. The absent hum of his voice in the echo of their shared home was a cruel reminder of his unkept promise.

His empty assurances seemed like beautiful lies that momentarily conjured an illusion of hope. Realization washed over her in waves, each more painful than the last. The familiar tang of disappointment filled her mouth, more bitter than any foreboding doubt she had ever held. Despite his comforting words and promises, it seemed she had misplaced her trust. It was a harsh lesson in reality, and Y/N couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the gap between Minhyuk’s words and his actions.

She tried to ignore how her heart broke when she heard of his first appearance since he enlisted. How her teary eyes that begged to burst would only lead to a shaky blur of colors on her phone screen, a nightmare unfolding in high definition. Seeing him as she did, standing in the middle of his adoring crowd, the same fans who were now privileged to his time and attention, while she, the keeper of his whispered dreams and knelt promises, was left to glean his whereabouts from impersonal news updates.

His oblivious smiles and joy were like perfectly timed daggers to her bleeding heart, each moment of rich laughter and vivid enjoyment amplifying her agony. The jarring contrast between the joyous Minhyuk in the photos and the silent Minhyuk in her messages was a brutal, unvoiced slap of betrayal.

Her hands quivered, the phone screen dancing dangerously under wet eyelashes as her promised-to-be-steadied heart clattered down an abyss, fragmenting with every bump of the descent. His absence had been a lingering wound, raw and tender. Still, his blatant disregard — veiled under joyous fancon celebrations — was an insidious poison, slowly dulling her senses until only anguish echoed in hollow places.

Each image of a laughing Minhyuk, each snippet of his well-chosen remarks were hideous amplifications of his silence towards her. The vacant space she had reserved for his communication, his comforting words had now become a desolate island of unvoiced sorrows, painfully reflecting his undelivered promises. Yet, his presence and joy elsewhere signaled that he held time — time that he chose not to share with her, time that she desperately wished to be a part of.

The added knowledge that he held free hours unspoken to her carved the wound deeper, sparking an anguish that scorched through her veins, branding her heart with the bitter aftertaste of betrayal. She had believed they shared a common longing in his silence, but he had etched a cavernous rift between them in his actions. The stark revelation shattered her hope, leaving her grappling with the shards of her trust and their shattered relationship.

That night, the moon was her helping friend. Keeping her company where her heart didn’t. Her mind was a mess of self-hatred and self-doubt mixed into one grueling nightmare that refused to let her sleep. The silence of their apartment, once filled with his laughter and murmurs of love, was now a grim orchestra of her sobs and whispered grievances. The eerie glow of the moonlight, seeping softly through the cracks of the blinds, became the sole witness of her despair, casting long, lonely shadows around the room. Another source that seemed to show her unsaid words of pity.

She contemplated calling off work, giving in to the relentless pain that coursed through her, but the thought of being alone in the apartment that echoed his absence was overwhelming. The thought of the empty silence reminded her unbearably of his quiet disregard for their shared dreams, reflecting their empty relationship.

As the dawn approached, she decided to face the world outside - not for the sake of carrying out her tasks but as a refuge from the solitude. The tiny computer screen at her desk at work was a less painful alternative to the daunting emptiness of the apartment.

Walking through the doors of her workplace, she found comfort not in the friendly greetings from her colleagues nor in the mundane tasks that filled her day but in the sheer act of survival. Each passing hour was a bitter testament to her crumbling heart bearing the weight of his betrayal, a reminder that despite the sorrowful echo in the hollow spaces of her soul, she could — and would — move on.

Her heart – the thing that had dealt the most pain – would never listen to the silly things her brain would tell her. Not even when his groupmates would message her, asking her if he stopped by to say hello and that they missed her and to never be afraid to reach out to them.

“No.” She wanted to so desperately write back. “No, he didn’t come by to see me. How does it feel knowing that he chose you guys over me? How does it feel knowing that my heart is tearing itself apart because he would rather not talk to me but would spend his free time being with you guys?”

But as much as her heart was breaking and everything inside of her was holding back, the tears that felt like one wrong push would completely throw her over the edge.

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks!” That was all she messaged back before turning her phone off when she noticed her messages were still set to deliver.

Tucking the small device back into her pocket, she offered a strained smile to the coworkers passing by her desk. Every tick of the clock marked another second she was away from the eerie silence of their shared apartment. Each passing moment of the day distracted her mind just enough to keep the tears she’d been holding back from spilling over the edge.

She couldn’t help but cast furtive glances at the phone she had taken out of her pocket for momentary relief, half-dreading and half-hoping for a message from him. But with every passing hour, the anticipation dissolved into disappointment, each confirmation that he still hadn’t reached out to her stinging like a fresh cut on an old wound.

In an office filled with people, conversation, and the hum of life, her solitude never felt more profound. As the day wore on, a sense of dread seeped into her heart. It wasn't the dread of heartbreak, however, but the dread of having to return to an empty home, knowing that she'd be greeted by nothing more than the echoing silence of his absence and perhaps the bitterness along with the shadow of what used to be happiness.

As nightfall approached, she steeled herself. Bracing herself for the long night ahead, she cast one last glance at her silent phone, let out a soft sigh, and began her reluctant journey back home to the ghost of her lover.

The journey back was a blur, a haze of city lights blending with the memory of his smile. As she unlocked the door to their shared apartment, she found herself hoping against hope that he'd be there. Every creak of the wooden floor, every shadow cast by the dim hallway light, echoed a faint possibility of his presence lurking in some corner – a hush greeting, a cozy comfort.

However, the reality was rather stark. The apartment greeted her with a cold emptiness, an echoing silence that amplified the loneliness. The couch lay bereft of his rumpled form, the kitchen devoid of his lingering warmth, and the bedroom mocked her with his untouched side of the bed. She peeked into rooms filled with his absence, her expectations crumbling into an overwhelming sense of despair.

Every nook, cranny, and piece of furniture they'd picked out together now held the aftertaste of his memory. The laughter, shared dreams, and cozy movie nights hung around the apartment like ghostly shadows, a poignant contrast to the present reality. Echoes of their love story played out in painful silence as she navigated her way through the house, a creeping dread settling in her heart with every step.

She would have to face yet another night of longing, another night of silent tears, another night of yearning for a presence long gone. Another night of learning to unlove the ghost of her lover on her own. Yet, she held on, dreading the solitude but embracing it as well, because it was in this solitude that she realized her strength, found the ability to stand amidst the ruins of her heart, and still hope for a better tomorrow.

Navigating her way through the dimly lit apartment felt like exploring a forgotten, treasured moment of the past. The remnants of shared life still clung to the subtlest corners of the house – the picture frames capturing their warm smiles, the hand-picked furniture that had held their shared dreams, the cozy spots touch-marked by their settled bodies during movie nights. All were silent spectators to the drama of absence that unfolded in front of her, each object a trigger to a memory, each memory a knife twisting deeper into her heart.

Her footsteps took her to the door of an old, rarely-used room. A stab of pain hit her as she stepped inside his painting room. The scent of paint and turpentine, the hastily wiped brushes, and the blank canvas on the easel mocked her with their lifeless silence. His room, a sanctuary once filled with vibrant life and color with the mix of laughter and happy cries, was now a tangible echo of his absence. She froze, taking in all the painful details, her heart heavy with the cruel reality mirrored in the lifeless brushes and color tubes.

With a sigh, she turned away from the room, her heart aching with a longing she could no longer quench. Navigating her way through the rest of the house was a bleak journey. Hints of the love they once shared haunted her steps, whispering the past into her ears with every soft creak of the wooden floor.

Wrapped in the solitude of their shared memories, she finally climbed into bed. The room, still bearing the faint residue of his scent, enveloped her in its cold embrace. Alone in the vast expanse of the bed they once shared, she felt the full force of his absence. But amidst this profound loneliness, she found a fragment of her fading strength — a resilience defying the melancholy of the deserted space.

In the hushed serenity of the night, the soft glow of the moon cast a gentle light on her slumbering form. Still lost in her dreams, a faint trail of affectionate kisses began to awaken her from the deep realm of sleep. The delicate pecks started from the shell of her ear, feather-light as they gently traced the curve of her neck and danced down her bare back. Each slight touch, though subtle, stirred her slowly from her peaceful slumber, sparking a soft, pleasing tingle on her skin. A quiet smile graced her lips as she was softly drawn back to consciousness, the hushed whispers of the night broken only by the beat of her quickening heart — a rhythmic replacement for the silence of her once-shared apartment.

The more she was pulled from her dreams, the more aware she became. The soft kisses she had started to welcome soon had her body jerking away in panic, her heart racing as she almost allowed herself to fall victim to whoever decided to break into her home while the night was probably still young. She was more awake as the white sheets gripped her body as she scooted further from the unknown figure.

The figure was silent and hunched over. The silence that filled the room only caused her more panic as she tried to shuffle away more and more, only to be stopped the moment the figure snapped out of the shock they were in and began to blindly reach out for her.

“Relax.” The voice spoke, grabbing her arm and pulling her closer. The more she struggled, the more the figure held onto her tighter. “Baby, relax.”

His voice was a warm contrast to the hostile atmosphere, carrying a soothing yet firm tone that seeped into her panic-stricken senses. It triggered a quick flash of recognition, causing her racing heart to skip a beat. She squinted, just catching the outline of a familiar frame bathed in the weak moonlight, and the tension in her body somewhat abated.

It was him. The figure she had been dreading becoming a stranger. Suddenly, the intruder was no more. It was him — her partner, her lover — whose absence had begun redefining their shared space’s silence.

His hand was warm, and his grip was gentle yet reassuring. The circles he absently traced on her forearm coaxed soothing waves across her agitated frame. The familiar whispery rasp that her ears cherished, the same voice she hadn’t heard in weeks. It was back, drizzling over the tense room.

The fog of panic slowly lifted as the realization settled — he was home. Her heart rate decelerated, the drumming against her ribs fading to a soft thump. She felt a hint of wetness tracing the curve of her cheek — tears, relief, or pent frustrations, she couldn’t tell.

A soft sigh escaped him, the quietest apology. He still held her closer, his grasp a desperate attempt to anchor themselves against the tide of emotions threatening to unchain. Even a slight parting, and they could be swept away back into those weeks of silence.

“Welcome home…” She mumbled faintly, her voice cloaked in relief. As he muttered a quiet “sorry,” they began to mend the silence of her once lonely apartment, filling it with breaths of a shared life. She began to blink, a frown spreading across her face as she had almost wanted to attack him. As she sat there in silence, she began to scowl at the unplanned entrance her lover made.

“I missed you.” He mumbled, his lips kissing the inside of her palm. With the light from the moon, she could tell that her lover was still dressed in his military uniform, no doubt just coming from his base. “I needed to see you; I need you. Please tell me you need me too and missed me as much as I missed you.”

His words were muffled as he continued to kiss her. They were laced with desperation as he moved onto the bed. She could barely see how his eyes flicked up to meet hers, desperation mixed with his beautiful brown eyes.

“Have you been behaving?” He was quick to ask, seemingly uncaring if she had answered him or not. His fingers were quick to rip the sheet away, and a deep-throated groan emitted from his throat as he enjoyed the lack of clothes she presented for him.

His hands moved wherever they could attach, squeezing and teasing her skin as they traveled down her body - from her collarbones to her breasts, down to the curve of her hips. The touch was familiar yet different, carrying an alien edge in its urgency, sending a flurry of mixed emotions through her.

Having caught her breath, she managed to choke out a shaky “yes” while fighting a fresh wave of panic. She was no longer sure if it was fear or something else entirely - a lingering sense of longing, perhaps.

He huffed, the hint of a smile barely visible in the dim moonlight. “That’s my good girl,” he murmured, sending waves of electricity down her spine. His fingers traced along the curve of her hips, the touch almost agonizingly slow. It was a reminder, a homecoming, and despite the onslaught of fear and confusion, a part of her relished it.

However, a significant part of her shivered under the unexpected strangeness of his touch. Something had changed either in him or in their once-shared intimacy. Whether it was just weeks of silence from him or how much she had missed his touch. She wasn’t sure what felt so different.

The silence that had vaguely started weaving around them was now a tangible bowl of questions and insecurities, a scenario she dreaded to unravel. Five months of almost nothing, often barely a greeting other than a simple message, and her only updates often being from social media, had her hesitating.

Her hand caught his, forcing him to halt his exploration. Even in the dim light, his eyes held her gaze, silently asking for an explanation. It was a moment of vulnerable truth they had to face now - their love, their bond kept under the magnifying glass, exposed and examined. The silent echoes of their once-shared apartment now called for answers, and she hoped they had them.

“You never told me you were coming home.” She whispered, her eyes never leaving his own as his shoulders fell in slight defeat. “You hardly message me. You never came to visit me when you were able to…”

“I wanted to surprise you,” He began, moving closer to her once more to kiss the corner of her lip, “Are you unhappy to see me, my love?��� He pushed, “Have you not missed me as much as I missed you? Baby, I’m ready to explode. I need you. I’m so needy. I can’t wait. I need you. I need to be inside you. I want to taste you again. I fucking need you. Let me make up for lost time. For not visiting you when I could, please…”

Her eyes observed his movements. Her gasp was loud as he pulled her body down and forced her legs around his waist, allowing his hard-on to brush against her exposed cunt.

“Let me taste you, baby,” Minhyuk whined, waiting for her answer.

His begging eyes held a dark promise, a sinful invitation that she found impossible to resist. She gently caressed his face, a slight smirk gracing her lips.

“Alright, love,” she eventually conceded, her tone laced with suspense. Her heart pounded as a flare of anticipation passed between them.

Minhyuk’s eyes sparked with victory and desire. He bent his head downwards, his husky voice whispering promises of pleasure as he began his descent, further trailing his hands down her body, elevating their intimate dance to a symphony of tantalizing sensations. This, she realized belatedly, was the intoxicating blend of lust and love - an enticing whirlpool of desire and fulfillment - sinfully smutty yet unbelievably romantic.

He wasted no time sliding down the bed until his eyes met her needy cunt. His lips parted as he reveled at the sight, his breath hitching in anticipation.

“So beautiful…” he muttered, his husky voice like warm velvet against her skin. His thumb gently teased her clit, causing her to gasp at the sudden sensation. A wicked smile curved on his lips, hearing her sweet whimper.

“Minhyuk…” she breathed, her voice barely audible under the storm of her desire. He looked up, his gaze holding a fiery promise.

His tongue traced a languid path from her entrance up to her clit, eliciting a sharp gasp from her. A triumphant hum came from him, adding extra sensation to her already sensory build-up. He lavished his attention, alternating between a slow lick and a quick flick, building her anticipation and desire to an excruciating peak.

“Don’t rush, love…” he murmured against her heated core, intoning sinful promise. His aroused gaze met hers, his hands keeping her steady as she writhed under him, futilely trying to get more friction. He chuckled, the sound vibrating delectably against her, sending spasms of pleasure through her. He relished her taste, appreciating their intimacy and closeness, entirely giving himself to her pleasure. He loved to tremendously arouse her longing, driving her to the sweet edge of ecstasy. “Just let it happen naturally…” He whispered darkly, resuming his torturous pace. “I’ll have you cumming in my mouth soon enough. I’ll take care of you.”

“Minhyuk…” she whimpered out, every cell in her body reaching out for his touch. Her legs trembled around him as minutes stretched into an eternity, proving his promise true. Her fingers gripped tighter at the sheets, her breath ragged and hitched in anticipation.

Every sensation was amplified, magnified by the intimate patience with which he worshipped her. The sound of his name on her lips was a sweet symphony to his ears, a clear sign of her impending release. He continued his skillful play, his tongue against her heat, his breath fanning over her wetness, fueling her desire further.

Her hips rolled up, meeting his lips in a desperate plea, and her body quivered, a clear sign of her impending climax. At her first spasm, he pulled back just slightly, only to dive back in, latching his mouth over her clit and sucking gently. The wave came crashing down, her body convulsing under the influence of a mind-numbing orgasm ripping through her. He held her close, his mouth still busied with drawing out all of her pleasure till her high receded, and she lay panting and spent, the taste of her climax still fresh on his lips.

“I told you, love,” he murmured against her oversensitive skin, his voice muffled by her thigh. His words were punctuated with a final, gentle lick as she shuddered again, a soft sigh escaping her lips. Their eyes met, his holding a promise of more to come as she rode the waves of satisfaction washing over her. “I’ve got you.”

Kissing her thighs, Minhyuk left open-mouth kisses all over her stomach and neck until his lips found hers once again. The kiss was impatient and greedy. Y/N knew her lover was close to breaking, and he would no longer wait for his own release.

“I’m done waiting.” He mumbled as he began undoing his pants. “I need you so fucking badly. Can your cunt handle me, baby?”

He watched as she nodded her head eagerly.

“You sure?” He teased, determination lacing his voice. His eyes were filled with fiery intensity and primal hunger that she found intoxicating.

“Yes.” She gasped out, her voice barely audible.

With an approving grunt, he shed his clothes remaining, revealing his arousal in its full hardness. His eye glistened with lust as he ran his fingers through her slick folds, collecting her excitement before smoothing it on himself.

Positioning himself at her entrance, he locked his gaze with hers. This act wasn’t just about penetration; it meant more than that. It mirrored the depth of their desires, the yearning they carried for each other within their hearts.

Slowly, he began his descent into her, finding her wet and ready for him. A tempting purr escaped her at his initial thrust, causing him to twitch within her. “God, you’re so tight.”

With that said, he began to move deeper into her, each thrust showing his intense need. He was slow, then fast - every push and pull creating waves of pleasure rippling through their bodies. Her eyes rolled back as an uncontrollable moan escaped her lips, fingers clutching onto his back as they rhythmically moved as one.

His name was a plead, a whisper, and then a scream that sounded with the collision of their bodies - a sweet harmony to their undying chorus of love and lust.

Their room flooded with sounds of their wild abandonment, gasps, and whispers of their names. He loved every reaction she gave with his deep thrusts into her, the way she arched her body, meeting his. Each grunt and moan they shared in their intimate congress was a reminder of the passion that had bound them together.

And just as the crescendo of their communion was about to be reached, he positioned himself even deeper, looking into her eyes as he thrust hard one last time. A loud cry escaped her lips, her body tensing and convulsing as he followed shortly after, their releases mingling together in a decadent tapestry of absolute, raw, sexual bliss.

All that was left was silence, save for their ragged breaths in unison, the only evidence of passion played out just moments ago, a symphony of their love and lust. He gazed at her, sweat-soaked and satisfied.

“I love you.” He whispered, kissing her deeply. “I love you, I love you. Fuck, I missed you. I miss seeing you every single day. I fucking miss you, baby. I’m going crazy without you.”

His words were like silent chants as his fingers found her own. She observed her lover carefully. Each word of praise and compliments felt like kisses to her body. She heard him sniffle, his head falling down in defeat, but she felt his warm tears kiss her skin.

“Min…” Her words were soft as she cupped his face. The moonlight didn’t hide his red face as he cried. “I’m here.”

She watched as he fell beside her, his head finding comfort on her chest as he cried silently. He was weak and vulnerable. All she could do was hold him close and remind him that even though his time was limited with her, she’d value all time with him.

Kissing the crown of his head, she whispered soothing words, threading her fingers through his hair until his sobs subsided, an unspoken promise to weather the storm together hanging between them. This newfound reality was a cruel one, yet she held on because love, she knew, transcended the limitations of time.

That night, sleep evaded her. She watched him eventually succumb to slumber, his body heavily sunk against her as if seeking refuge from the inevitable. Suddenly, the night seemed longer, each tick of the clock echoing ominously in the dimmed room. Her eyes gazed outside the window, tracing the stars in a futile attempt to find guidance in their ancient twinkling light.

The next morning dawned, bringing with it the familiar blush of an early sunrise. In the soft, warm glow, his face was serene, oblivious to the anger and unfairness of their situation.

Sorrow washed over her as she slipped out of his hold. She cloaked herself in this brief solitude, allowing the tears to flow in quiet rebellion against the day that promised to chip away a piece of their borrowed time. The typical morning noises - birdsong, the hum of distant traffic sounded surprisingly devoid of joy.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air in the kitchen, battling her welling despair with its familiar comfort. As she prepared breakfast, she fought back the lump in her throat. The simple act spoke volumes of her unvoiced fears and hidden hopes, a poignant symbol of unsaid declarations.

However, with each passing second, anger slowly filled her body and pushed away the sadness that crept up. She blinked away the tears, hating how the new ones were replaced with angry ones. She hated how easily she fell for his apology. How he left her without much for months on end and decided he’d instead not visit her while he could.

Her inhale was shaky, and the countertop was cold beneath her hands, a silent pillar of support. Her mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and distractions, all dangerously teetering on the precipice of weariness that slowly invaded her soul due to lack of sleep.

Before she could brace herself, she heard movement behind her. Minhyuk was awake. She turned to see his sleep-ruffled hair as he blinked away sleep’s haze.

“Why are you up so early?” He asked, a veneer of casualness looming over his curiosity. She watched as he held out his hand, an invite he’d hoped she’d take. “Come back to bed. We can worry about breakfast later.”

Her heart pounded, a drumbeat loud in her ears. Taking a deep breath, she finally voiced out the thought that had been gnawing at her since the night before. “We need to talk about how you barely keep in contact.”

Minhyuk froze, his eyes wide open in surprise. The silence that enveloped them was deafening, amplifying the harsh reality of her words. She locked eyes with Minhyuk, whose confusion slowly fell away to be replaced with a flicker of understanding and then guilt.

“Why didn’t you keep in touch?” she asked quietly, the weight of that seemingly simple question filling up the space between them. Each word echoed around in their shared silence, a stark indictment of his absence.

“But I…” he began, stumbling over his words, lost for justification. She stood firm, her resolve unwavering. This was a conversation that had been overdue, a piece of their shared reality that had to be addressed. Through her weariness, she found the strength—and anguished determination—to face him and demand answers, even if they promised to unravel the delicate ambiance of their morning. “I’m sorry.”

She watched as the walls around her lover caved in. His eyes looked away from her own, fresh tears prickling away and wishing to fall when given the right time. She knew she had backed him into a corner he didn’t want to be in. But that’s how she felt when he greeted her with nothing.

Minhyuk gulped, visibly struggling with words. “I… I didn’t want my absence to hurt you.” His attempt at explanation seemed to hang in the air, a feeble defense against her palpable anguish. “Fuck – that’s not an excuse, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“But it did hurt, Minhyuk,” she replied, trembling. “It hurt because you were not here. Because you chose to hide from me instead of talking to me. It felt like I was trying to talk to a ghost.”

His gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet the raw hurt in her eyes. The silence grew more poignant between them, the air filled with unthinkable pain and regret. His silence only spurred the sense of sadness, of betrayal that was bubbling within her.

“Why Minhyuk?” She asked again, her voice barely a whisper but carrying a weight that suddenly seemed too heavy to bear. His silence was answer enough. It echoed the months of lonely nights and fearful days, the unattended messages, the unanswered calls, the unsaid words that should have bridged their distance but instead widened it.

Minhyuk drew in a shaky breath, tears and regret moistening his eyes. He opened his mouth, finally ready to answer, willing to brave the storm of emotions threatening to drown them both. Their borrowed time was ticking away just as their challenging conversation was only getting started.

“I was scared. I… It’s not like I’m away on tour. This is different for both of us. I’m trying, but I’m scared you won’t wait for me,” Minhyuk confessed, his voice echoing vulnerability and fear.

“And that’s why you chose to distance yourself?” she asked, her tone laced with bitterness. “You made the choice for me? You decided I wouldn’t wait without even giving me a chance to decide for myself?”

He looked flustered, a shadow of his usually confident self. “I… I guess I did. I was just trying to protect you, to protect us,” he stammered.

She gave a hollow laugh. “And look how well that turned out.” Her sarcasm was a bitter pill, a harsh realization of their predicament. She breathed deeply, “We weather what comes together, Minhyuk. That’s what love is. You don’t get to decide what I can and cannot handle.”

His gaze met hers once more, tear-streaked but resolute. Silence enveloped them again, but this time, it wasn’t one of confusion or guilt but of understanding and, hopefully, resolve for better communication in their uncertain future.

“How fucking dare you?” She hissed, pointing at him as angered tears brimmed her eyes, “How dare you walk in here and think that just because you fucked me that I’d forgive you? That it would make anything okay? Minhyuk, I waited for you! Months and months! All I got from you were twice-a-week texts when I was lucky and videos of you attending the boy’s concert. How is it okay for me to see you on social media but not in person? Not until last night when you were too horny to control yourself. To actually wake me up like a normal person would.”

She watched as Minhyuk stood there, listening to her anger-filled words. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes - regret, self-reproach, and a deep-seated sadness. He appeared as if her words had physically pained him, but he made no move to defend himself. Instead, he stood there, absorbing each painful accusation, each sniffle, each tear that slipped from her eyes.

Minhyuk raised a shaky hand to his face, brushing away a stray tear from his eye. He watched her momentarily - the woman he claimed to love, yet unintentionally hurt. The silence settled around them, filling the room with tension and desolation.

“We knew from the start, Y/N, it was going to be hard juggling both my career and our relationship,” Minhyuk started, his voice raspy as he tried to steady his breathing, “But I let things spiral out of control. I admit that. Last night…,” he paused, looking away briefly, “Last night was wrong on so many levels. I was selfish, desperate to be close to you again in whatever way possible.”

Slowly, Minhyuk moved towards her, his actions filled with caution, but she did not flinch or move away. Instead, she watched him with tear-filled eyes, her anger dissipating into a silent plea for understanding.

He reached out for her again, testing the waters to see if she would move. His shoulders fell in relief as she allowed his hand to hold hers. It was a silent step in the right direction. Hopeful he was making the right moves.

“I won’t beg for your forgiveness or try to sugarcoat my mistakes. But I need you to know,” he continued, “that I never took you lightly. When I was with the boys, going to concerts, you were always on my mind. I promised you my heart, Y/N, not just my free time.”

She could see the sincerity in Minhyuk’s eyes. It did not heal the breach, but it was a start. There was a lot he needed to explain and make up for. But at least they communicated openly and honestly for the first time in many months. It was a step towards understanding, even if forgiveness was still miles away.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you. I should’ve told you I was free. I just… I fucked up. I don’t want to lose you. Let me make it up to you. Properly this time. The way you deserve it.”

His words echoed through the room, filled with desperation and regret. He stood before her, stripped of all pretenses, laying bare his emotions. In this moment, humility replaced his usually bold demeanor, and the heartfelt sincerity shone through.

Despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her, Y/N couldn’t ignore the genuine regret etched onto Minhyuk’s face. For the first time, perhaps, he truly understood the pain he had caused and the magnitude of his mistakes. Amidst the lingering anger, a feeble spark of compassion ignited in her heart.

Finally, she spoke softly and tentatively, “It’s not about making up, Minhyuk. It’s about change. It’s about understanding what went wrong and ensuring it doesn’t happen again.”

Minhyuk nodded, accepting her terms unconditionally. He pulled her into his arms, his lips kissing her forehead as he always did when he was genuinely sorry.

“I promise, Y/N.” He whispered, his lips unmoving from kissing her forehead. “Come back to bed with me. You have me until tomorrow. I’m all yours.”

With a quiet acknowledgment of her words, he wrapped his arms around her, guiding her toward the bedroom. It was evident that he was full of remorse about what had happened, and he was eager to make things right. He was warm behind her, his body curving naturally against hers.

They moved together in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The creaky floorboards beneath their feet echoed their tentative steps, and the soft cast of the morning sunlight cast a soft glow on their faces. As they stepped back into the room, the air grew heavy with unspoken words and understanding. The bed was unmade and inviting, a beacon of comfort in the otherwise empty apartment.

The sheets, still warm from their prior slumber, welcomed them in its embrace. He carefully climbed in first, patting beside himself and inviting her to join him. He watched as she hesitantly climbed in next to him, crawling under the covers before turning to face him. His eyes scanned her face, taking in its every contour, every remnant of their shared grief and unspoken understanding.

He closed the distance between them, pulling her into his arms. His hold was comforting yet painfully familiar, reigniting the spark that once existed between them. His fingers traced patterns on her skin, a mindless action that used to put her right to sleep. His lips pressed against her forehead in a gentle kiss, an act of apology, of promise.

“I promise, Y/N,” he whispered against her skin, his voice barely audible. The words, laden with sincerity, echoed in the room’s silence. His promise hung heavy in the air, intertwining with the quiet hum of the night. “I - I know my promises may not mean too much to you... but this time is different.”

His hold tightened around her as they lay in the quiet room, his fingers tracing familiar patterns on her skin as she turned her back to him, allowing him to pull her as close as possible, spooning her. Despite his best efforts, sleep refused to claim her. Minhyuk sensed her restlessness, her untold thoughts echoing in the silence that stretched between them.

Deciding to break the silence, he whispered, “Y/N, how have you been?”

“Minhyuk, I’ve been terrible.” Her hesitant breath hitched at his question, and she responded with brutal honesty. The words were strained, and a bitter laugh devoid of humor escaped her lips. She took a calming breath before continuing, “I cry every day, you know. And my coworkers... oh god, the pity in their eyes, Minhyuk. It’s unbearable.” Her voice shivered, her pain bleeding through her words. “Every day I waited for you... hoping for something, anything. But I was met with nothing.”

As she spoke, he felt his heart clench. Each word was like a strike against his chest. His arms instinctively closed tighter around her, an attempt to pull her closer, if possible, to shield her from any more pain. But even as he did so, he realized it was him causing the pain. His promises of change rang hollow in his ears compared to her raw and truthful suffering.

Despite his comforting hold, shared warmth, and the quiet hum of the morning light, sleep continued to elude them. In its stead, guilt, regret, and a longing for repentance again settled over Minhyuk.

Her honest confession shocked Minhyuk, its raw intensity piercing through the fragile silence. Each word she spoke was laden with a bitter agony that stung him to the core. Her reality, shaped by his indiscretions, rocked him to reality. The words ‘terrible,’ ‘crying,’ and ‘pity’ echoed in his mind, searing his heart with a guilt that was becoming increasingly unbearable.

He clung to her desperately, his embrace tightening as if to shield her from the pain he himself had inflicted. Yet each word she uttered, the honesty behind her pain, shattered his illusion of being her protector. Every confession she whispered made him understand that he was not the guardian but the monster from whom she needed protection.

The anguish in his heart welled up, and his eyes welled up with unshed tears, spreading a wet warmth on his cheeks. His breath hitched as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, hoping she wouldn’t hear his silent sobs. The realization, the hard-hitting reality of the pain he had inflicted on her, was a torment he had never predicted.

As sleep remained far from the pair, a wrenching guilt seeped into him, pooling around his heart. He held her close, his apology hanging heavily in the shared silence. His quiet tears continued to soak their shared pillow, a tangible testament to his regret and an act of repentance for his transgressions. Every ticking second, his guilt grew, blossoming into a suffocating remorse that stagnated the air around them.

His guilt reached an unbearable intensity, smothering him under its weight. With shuddering breaths and teardrop-laden eyes, he mustered up the courage to break the silence. Fragile and burdened with regret, his voice was hardly above a whisper, “Y/N... I’m... I’m so sorry.”

The words felt inadequate, a pitiful attempt to convey the ocean of remorse that swam within him. Each syllable chipped away at his composure, leaving him vulnerable and exposed to her. His tears continued to fall, leaving warm trails on his cheeks. The same tears that held no care if they wet her shoulders. His body shook with silent sobs, tremors of guilt that reverberated between them.

“I was... I was wrong,” he admitted, the words a mere breath against her hair. “I hurt you... you didn’t deserve any of this.” The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, his apology tainting the once comforting silence.

He broke further with each word he uttered, a solemn testament to his regret. The guilt within him crackled and ate away at his composure, each ticking second grating at his resolve. Facing the magnitude of his transgressions, he found himself on the precipice of despair, teetering on the edge of a chasm that threatened to swallow him whole.

In his state of desolation, Minhyuk clung to her, desperate for a semblance of stability as he navigated the tumultuous storm of his remorse. The anguished vulnerability that gripped him served as a stark reminder of the path of pain and distress he had inflicted upon her. Absorbed in his spiral of regret, sleep remained a distant echo, replaced by the unending cycle of apologies that streamed from his broken heart. His anguish echoed in the silence, a stark contrast to the harmonious hum of the morning enveloping them.

Taking a shaky breath, he looked up at the ceiling with tear-stained eyes, his voice stuttering in his remorse. “After the fancon... I regretted not coming to see you,” he admitted the words carrying an immense weight of guilt. He could still remember the joy in the fans’ eyes, a stark contrast to the pain he had caused her. “I fucking hated myself.”

His laughter with the fans and the camaraderie he shared with them was a gut-wrenching reminder of the time he could have, should have, spent with her. Was the joy he felt worth the pain he had caused her? The answer was painfully evident.

“I consumed myself in self-hatred for weeks.” His voice was barely a whisper, fervent yet pained. Each word seemed to scrape at his throat as if the vocal embodiment of his regret was just as painful as the emotional turmoil within him. “And I... I got even more scared to message you because I knew... I knew you saw everything. I was scared you’d hate me. That you would realize I was never good for you, that you deserve someone who can give you their time.”

His confession was met with silence, further amplifying the heavy echo of his guilt. His body shook, trembling under the weight of his regret. It was almost as if confessing his remorse carved open wounds within him, the anguish seeping out and staining the silence between them.

Every passing second was a painful reminder of his what he had done, his guilt growing like a malignant tumor within him. His regret had become an unending cycle, suffocating him with remorse to the point where sleep remained a distant desire. His hushed apologies and silent sobs stayed suspended in the air in stark contrast to the harmonic hum of the night, filling the room with an unbearable heaviness.

Lost in his storm of regret, Minhyuk clung to her, yearning for the stability and warmth she always provided him, a stark reminder of what he had so carelessly discarded.

“Say something...please,” he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper in the dense stillness. Despite his trembling form and tear-streaked face, he mustered the courage to break the silence again. The void of her response scared him, the silence morphing into a beast threatening to consume his sanity. He was terrified of losing her, losing the only solace he had known amidst the chaos he had created. “Please Y/N...”

In a desperate attempt to see her reaction, to gauge her feelings, he gently turned her to face him. The sight that met him was as tormenting as the silence. Her features, usually radiant and warm, were dull and tear-streaked, mirroring his own despair. Her silent tears were a stark, painful echo of his actions, of the harm he had caused.

The reality of their shared suffering intensified his guilt, making it an almost tangible presence in the room. His apology felt inadequate, a feeble attempt against the pain he saw mirrored in her eyes. His wrongdoings and choices led them to this point of shared agony. Every tick of the clock reminded him of his actions and the remorse that was now their companion.

The air was heavy, almost tangible, with the weight of his guilt, the despair radiating from him in waves. Sleep remained a distant dream, replaced by the relentless grip of regret tightening around him. The muffled echo of his sobs and the harsh contrast of their anguish against the peaceful morning only highlighted the gravity of the turmoil within them. Clinging to her, he sought solace amidst this storm, the warmth of her presence amidst the cold dread of his regret. The realization of the depth of pain he had inflicted loomed ominously, a cruel taunt of the love he had so recklessly mishandled.

She made an attempt to speak, yet her voice wavered, choked by tears and the overwhelming wave of hurt he had inflicted upon her. The sound, or rather the lack of it, crushed him further. He held her tighter as though the strength of his embrace could blot out the cruel reality of their situation.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he gasped between sobs. Apologies poured from him, a cascade of remorse, grief, and desperation. Each word was a palpable fragment of his guilt, echoing in the oppressive silence of their shared space. His voice was a broken whisper, the raw edge of emotions making it almost inaudible.

“I’ll... I’ll do better,” he promised, clinging to her like a lifeline as if she was the only thing anchoring him in his sea of regret. “I’ll try to... to wrap up early, be home with you... You need - deserve better. More than I’ve given you.”

The admission ripped through him, a brutal acknowledgment of how profoundly he had failed her. The hands that held her trembled, reverberating the aftershocks of his guilt through her. She was crying silently, a damning testament to his actions.

His guilt was a suffocating entity in the room, a hovering ghost casting long shadows over what was once their respite. His hushed promises and tear-laden apologies hung in the air, each a testimony of his pain and regret. His desperation echoed in the cruel morning silence, bouncing off the walls and seeping into every corner of their shared space. It was an inescapable reminder of his recklessness, a stark contrast to the serenity the morning glow, under different circumstances, would usually bring. His hell was one of his own making, a torment born from his choices, his regret a constant companion.

“Maybe... maybe I don’t deserve you, Y/N. Fuck, I definitely don’t deserve you,” he confessed, burying his face in her hair. “But I need you... I can’t do this without you. I’m too selfish to let you go,” he admitted his voice a thread of barely contained anguish. His hands, trembling and unsure, gently cupped her face, his thumb lightly tracing the trail of tears that stained her cheeks. Her anguish, a damning testament of his actions, was clear and evident in the tear tracks. “Is that so wrong? Why am I so fucking selfish with you when I push you away? I’m a monster.”

As if to assuage his guilt and offer a wordless apology, he pressed tender kisses on her forehead, temples, and cheeks, each one a silent vow. His lips lingered a moment longer on each tear-stained spot as if hoping to kiss away the hurt he himself had caused.

The room was filled with his whispered promises, his broken apologies, each word raw and heavy with regret. The atmosphere clung onto each syllable, echoing his desperation throughout their shared space. He clung to her, his lifeline in the turbulent sea of guilt and regret. Her warmth was a harsh reminder of what he stood to lose, of the love he had so foolishly mishandled.

Despite the despair that gripped him, despite the guilt that threatened to consume him, Minhyuk held onto hope. A hope that was encapsulated in her, a hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, to give him another chance. Yet, her silence and tears tore at him more painfully than her words ever could. His hell was a torment of his own making, a grave he had dug out for himself with his recklessness and disregard.

Finally, she spoke. Her voice trembled, mirroring her emotions. Wracked with sobs and choked with tears, she uttered, “Minhyuk...”

The sound of his name, laced with so much pain, hurt more than any words of reprimand could. It was a brutal echo of his actions, a painful reflection of the harm he had caused. Yet despite the sting, he clung onto the vestiges of her voice, desperate for any semblance of a response, validation that she was still willing to communicate with him, to give him a chance to repent.

“Do you remember that day at the amusement park, Minhyuk?” she whispered, a hint of nostalgia creeping into her voice. Her voice trembled, telling the tale of a time when they were both younger and less burdened. “You were trying to impress me by winning me that stuffed toy, but you fell into the dunk tank instead. Everyone was laughing... and you... You were soaking wet, shivering, but still grinning like a fool.”

She let out a shaky laugh, a warm yet tormented sound that briefly dispelled the oppressive atmosphere. He found himself chuckling along, the memory of that embarrassing incident being a bittersweet reminder of happier times. Her soft laughter was like a ray of sunlight piercing through storm clouds, illuminating the dark corners of his guilt.

Slowly, the gloom of the room retracts a little. As if the clouds decided they had spent enough time blocking the sun’s shine. Her laughter echoed lightly against the walls, bouncing back to them like a tender caress, a small salve on their shared wounds. Minhyuk closed his eyes, holding onto the sound of her laughter, onto the memory of that day, onto the little bit of hope it offered, and let a careful sigh of relief escape his lips.

“I remember, Y/N... I was drenched, and everyone was laughing. But you...” He pressed closer to her, his laughter dying as he whispered, his voice dropping lower, a thread of emotion weaving through his tone, “You were there, standing up for me, your laughter the brightest thing I had ever heard. I fell for you even more that day.”

The mood had been lightened a bit, but the truth of their situation still loomed heavy around them. Yet, in that moment, they found a shared comfort in a cherished memory, a respite from the storm that still had to be faced. They clung to each other, the story of their past serving as a small beacon of light amidst the darkness of their present.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he whispered again, his voice barely above a breath, a fragile testament to his pain. Drawing her as close as he could, he locked eyes with her. Tears formed watery rims around his eyes, the ghosts of the laughter from their shared memory fading into the wind. “I’m sorry I was a ghost. Everything you worried about and begged for to not happen… it happened, and it was my own fault. It was all me.”

His thumb caressed her cheek gently, wiping away the fresh flood of tears that threatened to spill from her beautiful eyes. The moment’s intimacy, the raw emotion, turned every touch, every whisper into a poignant echo in the hollow silence.

“Kiss me, Minhyuk,” she said. Just as his face neared hers, ready to lose himself in her again, she held up a hand. The words that softly passed her lips gave him pause. Despite the curtain of tears, her eyes had a determined glint, her voice carrying a wavering note of resilience.

Respect for her wishes and his own yearning propelled him to gently press his lips against hers. It was a kiss filled with regret, desperate promises of reformation, and the faint hope of forgiveness. Their shared pain resonated in this exchange, this moment of desperate connection. His guilt, her forgiveness, and their collective hope for a better tomorrow were all locked in this lingering kiss, a poignant denouement to the regret-filled morning.

She gently pulled away from the kiss, her gaze steady yet filled with unshed tears. “Can we... Can we re-do last night?”

The question hung in the air between them, fragile as glass yet as heavy as lead.

His heart swelled in his chest. Was this a chance for redemption? For atonement? He searched her eyes, desperately seeking affirmation, and found his answer in the vulnerable depths of her gaze.

“We don’t have to...” he started, his voice almost a plea, a need to reassure her that there was no obligation, pressure, or expectation. But she silenced him with another kiss, her hands cradling his face.

“I want to... with you,” she said softly, her gaze steadfast on him and her heart bared open. “I want to make love to you, Minhyuk.”

With a shaky breath, Minhyuk nodded, his voice a soft whisper in the silent room. “If that is what you wish, Y/N, I am here,” he assured her, his eyes shining with gratitude and a newfound determination.

He leaned in to gently kiss her neck, trailing his lips down with reverence. His kisses were feather-light, yet they marked her skin with a delicate heat. His fingers traced non-specific patterns on her skin, feeling the familiar warmth beneath his touch. He held her with one arm, using his free hand to explore her physique, treading on the known yet novel territory.

Minhyuk moved cautiously, letting his hands roam over her body, every move a silent question seeking her approval. At each motion, she would hum a soft affirmation, encouraging him to continue. He took his time, savoring every response and every gasp of pleasure that escaped her lips. All he wanted was to make her feel cherished and treasured. Like he should have before.

Her pulse quickened beneath his touch, their breaths hitching in sync. The sound of his name on her lips sounded like a prayer. This time, it was different. It wasn’t about seeking solace or escaping but about reaffirming and reminding each other of the love they once passionately shared.

This intimate moment was a far cry from their previous encounter. There was an eminent sense of respect and a deep understanding of each other’s needs and boundaries. It was about seeking healing, seeking comfort in their shared desire, and assent to rewrite the unwelcome memories of the previous night.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin, his voice fading into a husky rumble. He dipped his head low, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. She smiled, her eyes filled with unspoken emotions. “You’re so beautiful. A daydream.”

Minhyuk’s breath hitched as his fingers slowly slid down, journeying across her body. His touch was feather-light yet deliberate, tracing the curves of her form with the reverence of a lover enshrined in history, familiar yet intoxicatingly novel.

He carefully slid a hand lower, his fingertips gently grazing through the soft fabric of her undergarment. Her quick breath intake was all the approval he needed to push. Further, his fingers now tracing delicate patterns against her, raising goosebumps of pleasure in their wake.

His other hand cupped her face, thumb stroking her cheekbone in gentle arcs, his gaze locked onto her expression, a silent plea for continued affirmation in her eyes. Her lips parted, releasing a soft moan at his touch, her eyes half-lidded with ecstasy yet still holding that deep trust for him.

His actions were slow and punctuated, each a statement, a question, a request for consent. Time seemed to still to the rhythm of their beating hearts as they journeyed closer to that peak of intimacy, poised on the brink of pleasure and transcendence.

As his digits began to delicately explore her, their shared breaths grew more erratic, the soulful intimacy of the moment amplifying the sensory pleasure. A soft gasp echoed in the room, her hands clutching at his shoulders, a hushed plea of his name creating an orchestra of sounds in the otherwise silent room, adding to the melody of their shared union.

His fingers continued their delicate exploration, rhythms matching the steady rise and fall of her chest, creating a symphony of whispered pleas and strangled gasps. Her hands curled tighter into his shoulders, her breath hitching in sync with his every careful movement.

The room filled with their shared exhales of pleasure; the whispered utterances of each other’s names were a testament to their surrendered control. His attentions only intensified, the deliberate movements of his fingers heightening her pleasure, each apt touch making her arch into his touch.

His focus was intense, his gaze never leaving her face, quietly seeking her consent while noting each expressive tell of her rising pleasure on her face. His name fell from her lips, a whispered plea, her eyes lidded heavy with desire and trust.

She clutched him closer, her fingers digging into his bare skin in response to his skilled attention, each movement bringing her closer to that precipice of breathtaking ecstasy. He could feel her body begin to tighten around his fingers, her breathing ragged.

With a final arch of her back and a hushed gasp of his name, he felt her shatter against his touch, their shared breaths the only sound in the still, moonlit room. The intimacy of their rendezvous echoed in the otherwise quiet space, bearing testament to their tender, healing union.

They lay there together in the immediate aftermath, her body still trembling from the recent onslaught of pleasure. Her breath gradually slowed to match his, their chests rising and falling in sync. For a moment, they simply basked in each other’s presence, the depth of their shared connection enveloping them like a comforting blanket.

Minhyuk pressed gentle kisses to her forehead, cheeks, and nose —respectful, worshipful. His fingertips traced lazy patterns on her skin, each touch further solidifying their undeniable bond. In response to his movements, she entwined her fingers with his and sighed contentedly, her breath fanning over his neck.

“Minhyuk, I... I want more,” she murmured, her gaze locking onto his, filled to the brim with trust and unguarded passion. He hummed in acknowledgment, eyebrows raised in silent question. “Please...”

Visibly taken aback by her words, Minhyuk searched her eyes for any trace of doubt, but all he found was sincere desire and earnest anticipation. As a form of consent, he nodded and pressed his lips to hers in a heated kiss before allowing his touch to travel further, intent on satisfying her newfound curiosity.

His fingers slowly began to undo the remaining clothing barriers between them, his gaze never leaving hers, asking for silent affirmation with every button undone; every inch of fabric slipped off her body. The metabolism of his heartbeat mirrored in the anticipation twinkling in her eyes. She reciprocated his efforts, tugging at his boxers, their clothes pooling at their feet.

“Can I...?” she asked, her tone laced with uncertainty as her gaze met his, a mixture of desire and determination etched into her features. He nodded, aware of her unspoken desire, and satuating himself comfortably against the headboard.

She moved to straddle him, her knees dug into the mattress on either side of his hips. Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached for him; his breath hitched in his chest at the contact. He watched her from beneath half-lidded eyes, noting the flush that spread across her cheeks, the slight shudder that ran through her spine as she began to sink down onto him.

Greater sensation overwhelmed him as she adjusted to him, her pace deliberately slow. His hands moved to rest on her hips, aiding her in finding a rhythm that brought pleasure to them both. Her head fell back, lips parted in a silent moan as her body moved against his, the sound of their mingled breaths filling the room.

Her movement was a dance, beautifully rhythmic and sinfully enticing. Each roll of her hips into his served as a testament to their shared desire, every shared moan a proof of their unspoken passion. She leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss, their bodies meeting each other’s in a rhythm only they understood.

As she set the rhythm, he moved with her, hands traveling the expanse of her bare body, relishing the softness of her skin. His fingers traced the curves and valleys with a sense of awe, fingers dipping into places that earned him soft sighs and gasps of pleasure from her lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he managed to say, his low rasp vibrating against her skin, amplifying their ongoing intimacy. His gaze traveled the length of her, taking in her blossoming form, flushing under his touch, half-obscured in the diffused moonlight streaming in through the window. “You are everything to me. My world, my breath, my heartbeat.”

Acknowledgment of his heartfelt compliment was a slight hitch in the movement of her hips and an appreciative nudge against his hands, pressing him to explore further. Her body was a work of art, each movement sinfully enticing, making him hard to resist.

The sight of her, eyes glittering with pleasure, body moving fluidly against his in the most tantalizing way, was nothing short of empowering. He reached up and cupped her face, drawing her down for a deep, passionate kiss, their tongues dancing with the same rhythm their bodies had set. He conveyed his affection, admiration, and reverence through their lips meeting.

She moaned against his mouth, her body arching into his touch, seeking more, offering more. His hands guided her movements, each stroke setting her senses on fire. Desire mounted as their bodies meshed, the fervent connection sending them spiraling toward a climactic crest. His name rolled off her lips in a breathless whisper, a sweet melody to his ears, pushing him further into passionate depths.

As she continued to move, he marveled at the sight of her in the throes of pleasure. His hands explored the expanse of her body. Each touch, each caress, was a silent praise.

“You’re a vision.” he breathed out, his voice heavy with ardor. Her skin, flushed and glowing in the dimly lit room, encouraged him further. His fingers traced the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips; every part of her underneath his hands was a testament to her beauty.

Each roll of her hips against his elicited a low moan from him, each sound spurring her on. His praise, their shared desire, and their intimate connection continued to fuel their actions. She bent down, pressing her lips onto his as she continued to ride him, matching the rhythm of their shared breathing.

Their bodies moved in sync; the feel of her soft skin against his and the expression of pleasure etched on her face was nothing short of intoxicating. He relished in her reaction, watching as she arched her back, lost in the pleasure he was providing her.

When the climax arrived, it was like a wave crashing over them. She cried out his name, her body shuddering with the overwhelming sensation. He followed soon after, his body tensing as he reached the peak of his pleasure. Nothing but their shared breaths filled the room, the sound echoing like a testament to their passion. A shared intimacy that was more than just physical, a bond that was deep and unfathomably profound.

As the waves of pleasure began to decrease and the heightened sensitivity slowly faded, they found each other tangled in a comfortable embrace, their bodies still humming from the recent high. He held her close, her body nestling perfectly against him, their heartbeats synchronizing in the tranquility of the afterglow.

“Are you okay?” he murmured into her hair, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her bare skin, the intimacy of the question matching the intimacy they had just shared. A simple “Mhm.” was her content response, her warm breath fanning over his chest, lulling him into a sense of serene comfort.

He rolled onto his side, pulling her along with him, tucking her against his body so that her head rested on his chest, right over his heart. His fingers explored her body in a different way now, absent of lust but filled with an overwhelming affection. His touch was tender this time – a worshipful appreciation of her presence and trust in him.

“Promise me,” he began, his voice but a soft murmur seeping into the room’s stillness. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked up at him, those usually playful eyes now filled with a seriousness that she rarely saw, “Promise me we’ll always be there for each other like we are now.”

“I promise,” she whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his chest, right above his heart where his promise was undoubtedly echoed. The seriousness of his gaze made her heart flutter, and despite the mild surprise, she knew there wasn’t a single doubt in her mind. His arm around her tightened, a silent acknowledgment of their shared promise.

From then on, it wasn’t just the cuddling or the lingering kisses they shared. It was the unsaid promises and the whispered vows amid silence. It was how he looked at her like she was his entire world. They held each other as if reassuring themselves of the other’s presence. It was the intimacy and the affection that filled the room – something that was long overdue and now would never be lacking again.

“I’m going to miss you, Min.” She uttered. Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid her words might shatter the tranquility of their intimate moment.

Minhyuk let out a soft sigh, his fingers lightly stroking her hair. He didn’t want her to worry about the future, not when they were wrapped up in each other’s arms in the present.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” He murmured, his tone gentle, reassuring. “I’m here tomorrow, too. I’m all yours. We could stay in bed all day, order out if we have to.”

When she nodded against his chest, he continued. “And when I’m done with my service, I will take some time off. We can spend that time together. No distractions, no obligations. Just you and me.”

“Promise?” She asked, her voice quivering slightly, her eyes sparkled with unshed tears at his words, her heart swelling with love and affection for him.

“I promise,” he affirmed without hesitation, tightening his arms around her in a comforting hold. His plans were sincere, a future sculpted around them. His words were an unsaid promise, an understanding that their bond isn’t transitory, just paused for the better. The weight of his words hung in the air, an oath sworn and received, a pledge of a future where their love held prominence.

“And there’s something else I promise,” he said, his voice quiet yet steady as he locked his gaze with hers, a seriousness reflecting in his usually playful eyes. He took a deep breath as if gathering his courage before continuing. “When I’m done serving, and I’m back, I... I want to marry you.”

The words sunk into the room’s silence, like a stone thrown in a still lake, leaving ripples of reactions on her face. His proposal was straightforward and earnest, a confession that came from the depths of his heart. He was offering a future, not of doubts but of certainty. He was offering a life together to brave any storm that would come their way.

“I’ve thought about this for a while,” he admitted, his arms holding her closer. “I know it’s a big decision, and I don’t want you to rush your answer.” He sighed, his thumb gently brushing a tear away that had trickled down her cheek. “I want you to be sure.”

“But yeah,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I’m selfish. I want you by my side. Your presence and support… mean more to me than anything else. I want us to face the future together, no matter how tough the tides get. I want us to stand together, always.”

His confession was an admittance of his feelings, indicating the depth of their relationship. Despite his remark about being selfish, it was anything but that. His words were sincere, representing a pure soul who loved unconditionally. The promise was less of an assurance and more of a humble request stemming from intense love and admiration for her.

“What do you think?” Minhyuk asked, his voice heavy with anticipation, his eyes searching hers for an answer. He wanted to know her thoughts and feelings about this proposal and their future together.

“I think we’re going to have a beautiful future together,” she responded, her voice filled with a rare kind of certainty. A soft smile stretched across her face, her eyes twinkling with joy. She’d been waiting for him to voice these words for a long time.

“I cannot wait to find out,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. Minhyuk felt a surge of joy, a relief washing over him. He pulled her closer into an embrace, one that was light with promise and happiness. They cuddled together and held each other close, letting the silence encase them as they reveled in the promise of a future together.

Their story concluded on a hopeful note; the future was uncertain, but their feelings for each other were not. The promises they made and the love they shared overshadowed everything else. The true story was just beginning, a journey of two souls intertwined, bound by a promise of a lifetime.

#kvanity #monsta x imagines #monsta x x reader #minhyuk x reader #monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #minhyuk smut #minhyuk imagines #minhyuk imagine smut #minhyuk imagine angst #minhyuk angst #monsta x angst

[hyunchksoul]

✧Love Sick✧

hey guys, this is my first time writing and posting something (kinda nervous lol). I am not a full time writer so I don't write much and won't post a lot. The idea of this piece has been lingering around in my head for a while so I thought I would put it into words :)

Please interact, share and let me know how you guys like it <3

Pairing: Im Changkyun (I.M) x reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none

_________________________________________

You've been friends with Monsta X for about 3 years now. You all love hanging around with each other every now and then. As a singer yourself, you have helped them around in the studio to record their songs.

You always had a thing for Changkyun. The way he acted all soft and flirty around you made you feel things. His aura and voice always made you feel weak. You have always been a huge fan of his rapping and would catch yourself staring at him whenever he would record his rap.

There were times where you wanted him to be your man but you were scared to put your friendship in danger.

Changkyun works a lot and everyone knows it. He would always work on his solo project alongside the group projects.

He was working on a new song to add to his album. He was almost done with his part of the song but he found the song to be incomplete. He was looking for a voice to make it complete. Changkyun always admired your vocals and music and was ready to ask you to feature on his song.

"Hey Y/N, you know i've been working on my album and I am stuck on the last song, Love Sick. I've been searching for a voice to make the track complete and no one fits better than you. I would love to have your voice in it Y/N. Come over to my studio tomorrow and we'll work it out ;)"

This text sent you to cloud nine. You were jumping up and down and giggling like a baby. You were reading the text over and over again and smiling so much that you almost forgot to reply to it. You were in seventh heaven as your dream to collab with kyun was finally coming true.

The next day, you tried to dress up cute as you were going to his studio for the first time, you've only been to the studio they have at starship. It kinda felt like a big deal to you as he never invites anyone to his studio except his hyungs.

You had butterflies in your tummy and kept fidgeting. Just as you reached his studio, you stood at the door took in deep breaths and knocked.

He opened the door and greeted you with a soft smile. He pulled you in for a hug and guided you inside. You have hugged changkyun a lot of times but somehow it felt different today.

Changkyun was telling you about the song but you just couldn't keep your eyes off him. The way his long hair was falling on his face and the usual purple shirt with some sweats never failed to make you flutter.

"....and that's about it, now I just need you to bless this song with your voice", he said insistently. You smiled at his words, "You have no idea how long I have been waiting to make a song with you kyun, believe me today is my day to shine", you said. He laughed at your cuteness and guided you over to the recording booth.

You put on the headphones and drank some water. Changkyun asked you if you were ready to start and you gave him a thumbs up.

You took and breath and started singing your verse.

Changkyun seeing you from the outside lost his mind to your voice, he just couldn't get enough of your soft yet sultry vocals. Hearing those love-filled lyrics made his heart race.

Changkyun stood up from his chair and walked to the booth standing beside you, seeing you sing. You had your eyes closed and were singing your heart out, swaying to the beat.

You got done with your verse and opened your eyes to find him beside you. You let out small gasp and he smiled.

"How was it Changkyun?", you asked him. Rather than replying with words he just took off your headphone and let them hang around your neck, tucked your hair behind your ear and leaned in towards your lips.

"May I?"

Instead of answering him you just took his face towards you and kissed him deep. You snaked your hand into his hair and he held onto your waist. It felt like his kiss was all you ever needed in your life. You couldn't believe what was happening and got lost in the moment. Changkyun explored your mouth and linked his tongue with you. You left feather soft touches on his jaw which made him sigh into your mouth.

He finally let go and you both caught your breath. Your lips were now just as slick and pink as Changkyun's. You blushed and smiled at him.

"Wow, I-, I-, kyun that was-" , you stuttered. Changkyun let out a small laugh and rest his hands at your waist. "I am so glad you feel the same way for me Y/N. I was going to ask you out later today but I just couldn't hold myself back", he confessed. The rush of feelings filled your body and you just stared at him lovingly.

"Changkyun, I like you too, I have liked you since day one", you let out your feelings to him.

Changkyun blushed and gave you a soft peck to your lips and hugged you tightly. The scent of him filled you up and calmed your racing heart. You never wanted to let go of him.

"Do you wanna grab some coffee?", he asked pulling away from you.

You nodded a yes and you both grabbed your coats.

"Wait, what about the song??", you asked while putting on your coat. He smiled and responded, "You can come to my studio anytime you want...babe", he said cheekily and did a wink.

Those words made you punch his chest softly and giggle.

He laughed at your shyness and you both made your way out to the cafe.

_________________________________________

This turned out be longer than expected lol. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Stay safe and happy y'all.

xoxo

#changkyun #monsta x #monsta x drabble #monsta x imagines #monsta x fluff #monsta x reader #monsta x scenarios #monsta x angst #changkyun x you #changkyun drabble #changkyun imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun smut #changkyun au #changkyun x reader #changkyun angst #changkyun fluff #monsta x reactions #monsta x imagine #monsta x im changkyun #im x reader

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ ｔｏｕｃｈ ｔａｎｋ♡

♡ I created this for a friend of a friend. It totally warms my lil heart that she asked me to write this ♡

Pairing: boyfriend!changkyun x fem!reader

Summary: When your past trauma comes back to haunt you, your boyfriend reassures you that with him you'll always be protected

Genre: fluff/angst/smut

Word Count: 1.1k-ish

Warnings: reader has some trauma w/ being yelled at, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie

A/N: Thank you @anyamaris for always supporting me & sending your super rad friend my way ♡

"He tells me he's gentle when he wants to be so I think he wants to be gentle with me..." - Quinnie "Touch Tank"

On the 15th floor of a luxury high-rise a young woman twirls around her kitchen singing along to her favorite song. You might find her exact location by following the melodic voice ringing from her apartment. If her siren song fails to tempt you in her direction, the scent of dinner simmering on the stove will. The windows are open so she should probably put some pants on but she’s home after all.

What do you want from her? This is her safe space. Here she can be the vibrant creature that she is, a star burning bright against the night with no one to snuff it out. A past spent drowning in darkness, sick to her stomach with fear, is little more than a bad dream. The monster that haunts her is gone and she’s free…isn’t she?

Even with your music blasting you hear the lock to the front door click open, flooding you with joy. Flipping the stove off, you reach for your phone to turn the music down. “Baby, you’re home!” you sing, shuffling from the kitchen to greet your boyfriend as he kicks his shoes off. Your friends warned you that after living with your boyfriend for a few months the excitement would wear off but they couldn't be more wrong.

It’s been eight months since you and Changkyun got this place together and you still get butterflies when he walks through the door. You throw your arms around his neck, welcoming him home with a kiss. But he doesn’t kiss you back. He doesn’t even hold you in his arms the way that he usually would. He only lets out a heavy, tortured groan accompanied by a hesitant “Hi” before making his way over to the wine rack.

In an instant you deflate, a pretty little balloon springing a leak. Taking a deep breath, you catch the smile on your face before it fades away. Let’s try this again. “So, how’d everything go at the studio?” you ask, grabbing his favorite wine glass from the cabinet. Changkyun takes it from you, his expression cold enough to freeze you solid where you stand. “Can we just not talk about this, y/n? Is that okay with you?” he snaps, filling his glass with some expensive wine Minhyuk had insisted on getting him for his birthday. 

He doesn’t need to raise his voice for you to know something’s not right. You catch glimpses of it in the tightness of his jaw and the sharpness of his eyes. The anger seeps from his pores like a poison you thought you’d grown immune to. And just like that the monster’s back, darkness closing in around you demanding you to shrink yourself.

Be quiet. You’ll only make it worse. He’ll yell at you. It’ll be all your fault. “Um, okay” you murmur almost too low to hear. Shutting your music off, you quietly begin to straighten up the kitchen, careful not to get in his way. You're not walking on eggshells. You’re walking on glass and it tears you apart but you keep your mouth shut. “Ssh” the monster whispers, “Be quiet. Quiet. Quiet…” 

“Hey,” Changkyun says, taking you by the hand, his voice intentionally lighter than before. Placing a hand on each side of your face, he stares into your eyes, softening more with each passing moment. “Come back to me” he begs, desperate to pull you from that place in your mind you go to when you feel triggered. “What do I always say?”

You clear your throat, using his emotional lifeboat to drift back to safety, “That you’d never hurt me.” “And you believe me?” “Of course, I do,” you say it and you mean it because, despite the past attempting to claw its way into the present, you know Changkyun would die before he hurt you. He smiles, his hands slipping down to trace the edges of your figure, “Good because I wouldn’t. Not ever.”

You catch yourself getting teary eyed but there’s no time for tears when he kisses you, his tongue fervently seeking yours. He slips a hand under your shirt just enough to stroke the small of your back. The faintest contact from him is electric, his touch raising the tiny hairs along the surface of your skin.

You arch into him and feel fingers grazing your clit through the lace of your panties. “Changkyun…” you gasp, thighs parting as if to tell him you want more. “Should I stop?” he asks, hooking his fingers around your panties right where the moisture’s pooling. “No, don’t stop. Please don’t---mmph” You can hear the wetness seeping out as he enters you, his wrist rotating so that his fingers swirl softly against your sensitive walls.

“How could I ever hurt you?” he coos, taking in the angelic look on your face as he pushes deeper into you, “You’re so pretty, baby. I only want to make you feel good.” Your walls quiver around his fingers, reacting to the longing he pours into you. Bringing his arm tight around your waist, he guides you toward the bedroom. All the while pleasing you…stretching you…making you moan between his lips.

By the time he’s lifting you through the doorway your hands have developed a mind of their own, stripping him down to nothing but his boxers. He brings your shirt up over your head, his tongue finding your breasts before your back hits the bed.

Changkyun handles you with the patience of a painter working on a grand portrait of something close to his heart. His tongue makes purposeful strokes across your nipples, painting flowered vines down your belly as your panties disappear somewhere beneath the bed. 

On the 15th floor of a luxury high-rise, a young man buries his length deep in the warmth of the woman he loves. As he stimulates those spots that make her eyes roll back and her toes curl, she makes noises sweeter than his favorite song. You might find their exact location by following the sound of her crying out his name, melodic echoes of pleasure bouncing off of the walls.

The scent of her tempts to come before he’s ready, his need for her simmering out of control. The windows are open and neither of them give a shit if they have clothes on or not. They’re enjoying the beauty of each other’s naked bodies, bathing in the euphoria of her clenching around him. They’re home after all, giving each other every bit of what they want exactly how they want it.

It’s their safe space. Here they can surrender to each other, passion flowing vibrantly across sweat-slicked skin. This fire inside of her can’t be snuffed out. Her nails dig into his shoulders as she whimpers, the spasms in her pussy soaking him as she hits her high. She drowns in pleasure, her stomach pleasantly filling with his seed. This feels like heaven. Like a dream. She smiles, safe in his arms as they come down, and feels, at last, utterly and completely free.

#changkyun x you #changkyun x reader #changkyun fluff #changkyun smut #monsta x x female reader #monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #monsta x angst #changkyun angst

[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (V)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together.

But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 7.3K

Warnings - guns, slight mentions of violence blood, death. This is a necessary, filler chapter so its not as intense, but boy oh boy, brace yourselves for the next one my friends :) also, I tried a new writing style, so the pov in this chapter is a little different!

Previous chapter

Much to her surprise, when Na bi woke up the next day, it was already past noon.

She had passed out from all that exhaustion quite early last night - the muscles of her legs were still sore but the warmth of the bed and the weight of the duvet were comforting. She had forgotten to close the curtains before dozing off and now the yellow of the sun was all over the room. The trees outside were standing still as ever, birds chirped all around - The forest looked so alive, yet still felt so daunting.

Dragging herself off the bed, she closed the curtains, submerging the room into darkness before flipping the switches of the lights.

Something had changed.

Na bi walked up to the small study in the corner, eyes falling on the new contents on the table. It was her belongings - her unnecessarily thick medical textbooks, study guides, lecture notes - all her personal material from home, neatly stacked. On the shelf were her novels, magazines she liked to flip through, journals she had filled over the years. How did he manage to get these?

Even her toiletries were arranged for, neatly laid out by the sink - new bottles of her soap, shampoo, creams and serums of her night routine. In the ten minutes she took to wash up, a fresh set of clothes which, albeit she didn't change into, were laid out for her and outside, on the table was a piping a hot coffee and biscuits. Her bed had been made, the curtains were pulled back again, and the fire of the night had been put out. It was as though Changkyun had a bunch of elves working around here for him - efficient, meticulous and invisible.

Na bi sipped on her coffee as she looked through the books and papers on her table again. When Changkyun said whatever she needed would be arranged for, he kept his word - every small thing, down to drawing pencils and her favourite set of highlighters was here.

Everything except her laptop.

Na bi looked around, eyes searching for it as another realisation slowly dawned upon her. She hadn't seen her phone in very long either. Panicking slightly, she left her coffee and rummaged through the sheets of the freshly made bed - it was not there. She opened the drawers of her bedside table hurriedly, scoured the shelves and cupboards of the room, checked the bathroom, checked the closet but it was nowhere to be found. She tried to  recall when she last saw it. A very faint memory told her it dropped out of her hand when she was shoved into Wonho's van.

Fuck.

She needed that phone, how was anything going to work out without it?

Na bi sank onto an ottoman, massaging her temples, her mind behind it racing. She wasn't prepared for this. She hadn't expected things to be in motion so soon; screw Mingyu for not so much as warning her before putting their plan to action. But now it was too late to curse him - she was already in the middle of it all and she had to figure it out on her own, there was no other way.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair back, pulling it into a tight ponytail, something she rarely ever did. Leaving her half empty coffee cup on the table, she stuffed two biscuits in her mouth for some sugar and slowly opened the door of her bedroom. If she was going to crack Changkyun's empire, his house would be the first place to begin.

When Na bi stepped into the familiar corridor, she found herself alone again, a chill running down her spine. It wasn't eerie or haunting in anyway, but the thought of just what she might discover in this inhabitation was terrifying her already. Cautiously, she began walking further down the corridor, doors of two rooms coming into her view - one she assumed was the second guest bedroom Changkyun mentioned and the other was perhaps his own. Surely if there was any place in this house that could give her a clue, it had to be his room.

Opening the first door on her way, Na bi immediately concluded it to be a guest room for the layout was unmistakably, exactly the same as hers - the colour of the walls, the sheets, the furniture, all of it. Except the view from the window. From the left most corner, Na bi caught sight of a sliver of the beach she saw yesterday. So it wasn't a mirage conjured by her exhaustion or a figment of her imagination.....

Gulping at the possibilities, she slowly left, proceeding to the next room, only to find it locked shut. She tried the handle a few times, with both force and technique but neither could open it. Stepping back she glanced at the walls that spanned on either sides of it. It had to be a huge room, which meant it most definitely was Changkyun’s but clearly, neither was he home, nor was anything about him accessible to her.

Na bi though, wasn't one to accept defeat. Besides, how hard could it be to break into a room? One bobbypin and she could have easily found her way in. And perhaps she would have too if she didn't hear the strange sounds of clanking metal from a distance. Frowning, she turned, walking towards the source, trying to locate it. Softly she whispered Changkyun's name, guessing it was him and instantly, the noise stopped. And so did Na bi.

After a long silence and a long period of immobility, Na bi finally took another daring step ahead, the living space downstairs slowly coming into view. It was just as empty as yesterday, only more harshly lit by the afternoon sun. It looked just as beautiful though, she observed as she walked down the stairs, looking around. Changkyun was definitely a man of strange taste but she didn't expect to find herself in approval of it. Except those ceiling high windows. Those still made her stomach churn with discomfort.

When Na bi managed to make it all the way down to the last step, she stumbled, noticing a door she hadn't really seen before. The walls felt warm and she could hear the sound of firewood crackling from the other side. Wondering if that was the source of the noise, she knocked softly before grabbing the handle and pushing the door, only to feel a hand rest on her shoulder.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

Na bi bit back a scream, turning to meet the eyes of a  woman almost a whole head smaller than her, looking at her fiercely. Her salt and pepper hair was neatly pulled back into a bun, and with her cute little pink apron and half moon glasses, one would think she was a sweet old lady, but the sharpness of her tone told Na bi otherwise.

"I'm...I'm looking for Changkyun." Na bi watched the woman physically wince at the mention of his name. "Where is he?"

"Master's not home." Master? She wiped her hands on her apron before walking past her and closed the door loudly. The point had been made. "If you there's something you need, you can ask me."

"Is this Changkyun's room?"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it is."

Na bi's eyes flickered between her and the room. What was in there? And if this was his room, who did the room upstairs belong to? And why was it locked?

"Wait, wait." She rushed as the older woman began walking away, following her footsteps. "Where's Changkyun?"

"Master is a busy man." She huffed. "He comes and goes as he pleases-"

"Goes where?"

"He doesn't inform me about his whereabouts."

"When does he usually come back?"

"Whenever he decides to."

"When is that usually-"

"Ms. Baek," Na bi's lips parted in surprise at the mention of her name. And at the faint but apparent annoyance in the woman's voice. "I do not concern myself with master's business and frankly, neither should you. But if your curiosity cannot handle the ignorance then I suggest you ask him yourself, whenever he's back."

And with that, she walked off into the kitchen across, a lot faster than before. Na bi stood in the middle of the hall, staring at a loss.

There's a lot you need to learn about this place Ms. Baek.

Indeed there was. The rooms of this house were just the beginning of things. If she was to be successful in her mission, she needed to know all that was there to know. She had to unravel Changkyun’s world down to the core and she had to do it without letting him get even the faintest idea as to why she was here - that would ruin everything. So right now, what Na bi most desperately needed..... was a friend.

She turned to look at the only other person she had seen here, standing behind the kitchen island, mixing soup in a pot, cutting up some greens and putting something into an oven, all simultaneously. She was perfectly efficient, timing her moves just right, smoothly executing her tasks. She looked not too old, perhaps in her mid fifties, crowsfeet aligned by her eyes which were somewhat soft under all that snappy exterior. If Na bi made the right moves, she knew she could break through that hard perosona of hers and make a potential ally. Only problem was, Na bi had no idea how to make friends.

Silently going back to her room, she threw herself on the bed and stared at the grey ceiling. Her whole life, much to the contrary of what most people believed, Na bi was quite the loner. She rarely went to team dinners, never joined them on karaoke nights and barely ever participated in birthdays or other celebrations. She wasn't hostile to people or unfriendly, no; she just didn't have the time and energy to engage in social niceties. She had cordial relationships with her colleagues and neighbours but that was about it. Seokmin was the only exception in her rather isolated life.

Two years ago, when she first joined the hospital, he too was just like everyone else, a mere acquitance. Somehow, over time, he warmed up to her and honestly, rather insistently inserted himself into her life. Thank god for him though. Na bi didn't know what she would do without that crazy guy who somehow always there when she needed him (which wasn't very often), who always tolerated her rather unbothered attitude (which was very often) and who would always look out for her, no questions asked.

Even though Mingyu had asked her not to inform a soul about her mission, she regretted not telling Seokmin about everything. He was probably worried by her lack of response, but hopefully, he just assumed her radio silence to be just one of her usual unsociable moods - she often ignored him over the weekends and holiday season, knowing he would attempt to set her up with one of his many, many friends.

But Na bi wasn't the kind to date either. Dating apps were completely out of question - they demanded way too much time and commitment. Over time, she disliked meeting the people Seokmin or her other colleagues set her up with too; it was just hours and hours of talking leading to nowhere. Can a person really be understood over a meal and a conversation held specifically in order to impress? It didn't make any sense to her.

Rather, she preferred her not-so-regular-but-quite-frequent rendezvous - Flirting with men at the bar, hooking up at the convenience of their cars or homes, and leaving, first thing in the morning, never to see them again. Atleast those encounters were honest in intention and brief with expectations. Seokmin often ate her ear off about how now that she was getting older, maybe it was time to settle down with one person and though she heard him (and partly agreed), she as usual feigned ignorance.

That's why when Mingyu walked into her life, she decided to take the chance. Things with him flowed so smoothly and were so easy going, she thought perhaps finally, she had managed to find someone more permanent. She found herself willingly going on dates, happily having hours of conversation and was pleasantly surprised that they were on the same wavelength about most things. He seemed to understand her; he was willing to go the extra mile whenever she pulled herself back, he was ok with taking a step back when she wasn't ready - it was as though he knew exactly what she needed.

Except he really did know exactly what she needed. He was nothing but a facade, a man tailor made for her after days of observing and studying her, presented in a way they knew she would be interested enough to meet again and again. It worked. Oh it worked wonderfully well for them, because honestly, Na bi did not ever see herself dressing up for a man but..... it wasn't their triumph.

Deep down Na bi knew what was the exact and the real reason she met Mingyu time and again. It was because he was a cop. It was for Changkyun. It was because should anything happen to Changkyun, Mingyu would be one of the more reliable sources to find out from.

Na bi sat up, crossing her legs, just the thought of it making her nauseous. Sure she was attracted to Changkyun, sure she knew he was dangerous but she did not think he would be the one responsible for Ana.... of course, since she found out, she no longer had the same kind of interest in him.

But the moment he appeared before her yesterday, the moment he met her eye, something in her stomach dropped and she knew - the effect he had on her was far from gone. Na bi though, wasn't insensible or unreasonable. She knew what she was here to do and no matter what happened, she was not willing to end up as the prey in this hunt.

So, to begin with, there were 2 things she had to focus on - 1. breaking the ice with that older woman and 2. figuring out this strange place she was holed up in. And with that clarity, Na bi began her mission, scribbling down the details of her discoveries in her new journal every night.

Day 1

I got together a bunch of papers and started drawing out the layout of the house. Whatever I've seen of it at least. I need to map the whole place out, and whatever is around here too - the forest, the beach, find other landmarks, any and all clues that can help identity this location. I shall do it, one step at a time. But I need to be careful. That older woman, who I think is the housekeeper here, tends to walk into my room anytime. Thank god I managed to hide the papers when she came to give me lunch. (Kimchi pasta and orange juice, absolutely delicious). There's a loose floorboard I found by the fireplace. These drawings should be secure there as of now.

But I don't know what to do about the her. When I smile at her, she simply nods and walks away. She's going to be a tough nut to crack. I watched her all afternoon, sitting in the living room with my books. She left from the backdoor at 3 and came back only at 5. I ate dinner with her at the breakfast bar, tteokbokki and orange juice again, not that I'm complaining. I told her to not refer to me as Ms. Baek and to call me Na bi. She said I could call her Mrs. Lee. She didn't speak much after that, just cleaned up everything and disappeared. Its almost 11 at night now, and I don't think I was really successful with anything today but I'm trying. One step at a time.

Oh and Changkyun didn't come home the whole day today.

Day 2

Changkyun did come home today.

I made it a point to wake up earlier than usual and as I got out of the room, I saw him, sitting at the breakfast bar, eating an omelette. But by the time I got down the stairs to approach him, he left. I don't know if he saw me or if he was ignoring me but I keep missing out on opportunities to talk to him.

I think I made a little more progress with Mrs. Lee though. If my eyes didn't betray me, she might have given a small smile when I thanked for coffee and my favourite breakfast, avocado toast and milk. I watched her again today - she has the exact same routine. She served me kimchi rice and orange juice at 12 and then by 3, she disappeared out of the back door. I followed her this time. There's this small garden at the back of the house with all sorts of vegetables and herbs but there was also a path, leading to a cottage. When I looked through the window, it seemed like Mrs. Lee was getting ready to nap. I think she lives there. It makes sense because there was no other room in the house that could belong to her. Which meant that locked room upstairs belonged to someone I don't know about.

Obviously I broke in. Somehow. I couldn't find a hairpin but I managed to grab a few old pens and do the trick. It was nothing like I expected though - it was a plain old bedroom, albeit bigger, brighter and disappointing. I was hoping to find something concrete here, anything at all, not just antique furniture and vintage dresses which oddly looked very similar to the ones I was dressed in when I first got here. I searched every inch of that place, there was truly nothing of value or even a clue hinting who it belonged to. Only Mrs. Lee could answer that question for me.

I wasn't really sure how to bring it up to her, so I just tried to make casual conversation about it using the dresses. I brought them down before dinner, showed it to her and-

Na bi looked up from her diary, the conversation replaying in her head.

"These clothes." She placed them on the kitchen counter. "I never got the chance to thank you for them."

"You don't have to thank me." Mrs. Lee glanced at them, mumbling. "I thought the red one would look nice on you."

"It is beautiful." Na bi sat down, softly running her fingers over the material. "I'm so sorry, it tore....are they yours?"

"Imagine a hag like me in dresses like that." Mrs. Lee scoffed. "It belonged to my mistress."

Na bi felt something sink in the pits of her stomach. "Mistress?"

"She loved dresses, had a huge collection in fact. A perfect one for every occasion." The use of past tense did not slip past Na bi. "A beautiful woman who only made the dresses she wore more beautiful."

"I should probably apologise to her then. Where is she...." Na bi trailed off looking at the woman's eyes become slightly wet.

"She was the sweetest thing alive. I don't think she would have minded. Master on the other hand, I'm afraid he was a little... displeased."

Na bi tugged the edges of the dress nonchalantly. "He must really love her."

"More than anything in the world." She sighed, slowing down her stirring. "That's why he's always hurting...."

Her voice softened as she looked at Na bi, eyes shaking like she spoke more than she should have. This was what Na bi wanted anyways - carefully guarded information being let slip. But she had to take it slow, to not raise any suspicions. And Mrs. Lee didn't seem like she was willing to let anything else slip as silence took over between them again.

-she said it belonged to her Mistress. Whoever she is, or was, either she doesn't live here anymore or she's dead, I don't know which. But it's proved Mingyu wrong. Changkyun cannot possibly be interested in me. Not when he had someone else in his life. Someone he cared enough about to still hold on to her personal belongings. Then why was he looking out for me? What do I mean to him?

Who knows? He could answer my questions, he's the only one who can but yet again, he didn't come home.

Day 3

Today I drew more of the map. I left the house before sunrise, followed the same route I took the time I first ran out of here and yet again, it took me to the beach. I passed almost 58 large trees, ran almost 3km west of the house to reach it. I still don't understand how I can possibly be near the sea. Where on Earth is this place?

I made sure to return in time for breakfast though, but Changkyun was not there today. I had toast and milk again and Mrs. Lee seemed more guarded than usual, perhaps after yesterday's slip up. But she didn't seem as unfriendly, maybe because I squeezed the orange juice for lunch by myself. When she was gone by 3, I knew what I wanted to do today - search through Changkyun's room. So I did just that, except today..... he was inside.

Na bi felt her hands shake as she recalled the encounter.

"Ms. Baek."

Na bi froze, hand on the handle as the voice boomed behind her.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

She turned around slowly, eyes falling on the not so large room with a really large table in the centre, Changkyun seated behind. 

"I uh...thought I heard you in here." She slowly walked in.

"Really?" He looked at her amused. "I'm known to be quiet as a cat."

Na bi gulped, clearing her throat. "You.... haven't been home in a while."

"Neither have you." He titled his head at her. "I stopped by your room this morning."

Na bi felt her heart hammering away in her chest.

"I....must've been in the shower."

"I didn't hear the water running."

"Oh then," Na bi looked away, at the fireplace, thinking quick. "You probably came when I was in the garden."

"You left the house?"

She stared at the flames harder, hoping not to give herself away. "Why? Am I not allowed to?"

"No." Na bi turned to him surprised as he continued. "There are no restrictions on you here Ms. Baek, you are free to do or go wherever you wish."

"Really? There's a room upstairs though....that you keep locked." She looked at him, trying not to seem too inquisitive, probably horribly failing at it. "Am I not allowed in there?"

"Can locked doors possibly keep you away?"

Na bi blinked at him. Did he know that she...

"That door has been like that for years." He clarified. "Simply locks every time it's closed."

"Oh." Na bi licked her lips, walking closer up to him, the contents of his table getting clearer with each step. "Then what about this room? Mrs. Lee stopped me from entering it a few days back."

He smiled. "Perhaps because entering someone's personal room in their absence is a sign of poor etiquette."

"Of course." Na bi glanced at the papers on his table, holding her breath as she did.

Maps. Hundreds of them. Much like the one stashed safely in her room, the one she was drawing out.

She looked up meeting his eye. "So you're not....hiding anything here?"

Changkyun leaned back, expression unreadable but he shook his head. "Not from you, no."

Why not though?

"What are all these then?" She pointed, stuffing her hands in the back pockets of her jeans so he couldn't see them shake.

"Maps of different areas in Seoul." He spread them out further, allowing her to take a closer look. "This is how I keep my business organised."

"Huh." She nodded, noticing red crosses and black circles scattered all over the papers. "What kind of um business do you-"

She jumped a little, at the sound of a strange static noise, unable to recognise its source.

"What's that sound?"

"My cue. I have to go, there's a meeting..." He got up and Na bi immediately took a few unnecessary steps back as he walked up to her. "Meanwhile, the reason I was looking for you..."

He handed her a familiar, shiny black device that felt cold in her palm.

"Wonho said you dropped it when he picked you up."

Her phone.

Na bi inwardly sighed in relief as she wrapped her fingers around the cold metal. Changkyun walked up to the door, donning a blazer over his trademark black shirt. Na bi followed him out, her mind still focused on the contents on the table. She knew she was far from done with this room.

He returned my phone to me but its as good as not having one. There's a crack, right across the camera lens, rendering any picture I take absolutely unfathomable. And I don't get any signal here, not one bar. I can't contact Mingyu or Seokmin, that phone is as good as a brick.

When Mrs. Lee came back, I helped her with making dinner. I know I'm no cook but I can follow instructions and I think I did a good job of it? She was afterall talking to me sweetly and even gave me an extra helping of her special homemade kimchi. Maybe I'm not far from making a friend here but Chankgyun.... I still can't figure him out.

I still don't get him.

Day 4

I covered the North side today.

It's.... its the same. Almost 5km of trees, trees and more trees and the end of it all, a beach. I'm getting a faint inkling as to where I actually am but..... I don't want to think about it. If what I'm assuming is true, I couldn't be more trapped.

Yet again I didn't see Changkyun for breakfast but I didn't see Mrs. Lee either. She was back in the garden, trying to deal with some weeds and dying tomatoes.

Fate, if its real, must be trying to help me because who knew better about gardening than I did. I think that hour we spent, fixing up those shrubs probably broke the last of the ice between us. Mrs. Lee was smiling more than usual, talking about the plants and all her recipes, and just seemed to have warmed up to me now. So I thought it wouldn't be too wrong to ask her the question.

"Mrs. Lee, I was trying to call a friend yesterday. You see I didn't get the chance to tell anyone I was going to be away, but I wasn't getting any signal? Is there.... is there any place where I can get better cell service or something?"

"Around here? No dear, there's no cell towers for miles." She tugged the weeds. "We don’t need them anyways, no one around here uses phones."

Na bi felt a wave of apprehension wash over her.

"Then... how do you contact people? Like your family?"

"Master is all the family I have." She smiled. "And need."

I think don't know if Mrs.Lee was telling the truth about the phones. But her statement did confirm something else I've been wondering - we're not the only ones, there are others. Others who lived around here and perhaps, they can help me understand more about this place. I just need to find them.

After lunch today, I wasn't able to explore anymore - Mrs. Lee needed help with the garden again. I wasn't able to extract any more information from her either, she was too focused on the task at hand. But over dinner, she did say something that surprised me.

"You really seem to like my kimchi."

Na bi took a break from shoving a huge bite into her mouth and looked up, nodding.

"I like everything you make. I don't get to eat much fresh food at home. I pretty much survive on kimbaps and instant noodles."

Mrs. Lee frowned at her, shaking her head. "You poor thing. Must be tough, having to eat those miserable packaged food."

"I don't really mind it." Na bi confessed. "I actually really like it-"

"Well you're not going to find any of that poison in this house." She crossed her arms. "I don't allow it. It's unhealthy and atrocious. Master is already picky with eating vegetables, imagine adding those preservatives to his system."

Na bi raised an eyebrow. "He doesn't eat vegetables? What a five year old."

"Indeed." Mrs. Lee broke into a fond smile. "You should've seen him when he was actually five. He wouldn't even take a bite of the kimbaps I used to make. Always spat it right out."

The image of his full cheeks as he munched on the kimbap in her home flashed in Na bi's head. I'm not picky.

"Thanks to you, I've been able to get him to eat at least a few vegetables a day. Even though he still insists on having some meat every meal-"

Na bi tried to swallow her bite quickly. "Because of me?"

"Yes you. I've been cooking more vegetarian dishes recently since, well, Master told me you're a vegetarian. And so I can..."

Na bi didn't hear anymore. Not with her mind full of thoughts.

He knows what I eat. He knows what I wear. He knows what I smell like. He knows everything yet I don't know why. Why did he bother to know so much? If like Mingyu said, he is interested in me, why hasn't he made any move, or even conversation?

I can't figure him out. I can't figure him out at all.

Day 5

Today morning I managed to cover the South side. It took considerably longer cause it was much larger, 10km at least, but to no one's surprise, ending at a beach. 3 directions, all ending at a beach, I think what I fear is true..... perhaps tomorrow I will be able to prove it.

But there was something I didn't see elsewhere - a helipad. At least that's what I'm guessing it is. It was just a large clearing in the woods, and by the way the impressions looked in the grass, that seemed like the most probable explanation. Yet another factor supporting my theory....

Also, I found out how they do it. Live without cell towers and phones that is.

Walkie talkies.

I saw Mrs. Lee talk into one over breakfast today. I don't know how I've never noticed it before, this black box like machine sitting in the corner of the kitchen counter. She said we were running out of rice and by the evening, there was a huge sack of it, sitting by the back door. I don't know much about walkie talkies and how they work, but I am aware that both parties need to be in a certain range. That's only further proof that there are others here, people who might be able to help me but also people I've never managed to catch sight of over the many days I've roamed around here. I need to explore the east side tomorrow. That might be the last piece to finish the puzzle of this place.

While Mrs. Lee took up most of my day, trying to teach me some simple recipes, I did manage to slip into Changkyun's room once again after lunch. There were no papers on the table this time, in fact it was completely empty. I tried looking through the drawers, the shelves - they were all empty.

The only other things in the room were a bed, a couch and a wardrobe. I looked through the wardrobe too - it was just a bunch of suits and hoodies that looked a whole lot more comfortable than the clothes kept in my room. Maybe that's why at that moment I decided to strip out of the really uncomfortable blouse I was wearing, into one of the hoodies....

"You really have a mind of your own don't you?"

Na bi knew before turning that Changkyun had just walked out of the bathroom; she had heard the water running. What she didn't expect was that he would be clad in nothing but his towel, hanging low on his waist, little rivets of water streaming down his torso. Na bi could not hide the way her eyes roamed over his body.

She cleared her throat, turning back to the wardrobe. "As should everyone."

As he began walking up to her, she grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and threw it to him over her shoulder. The muffled sounds told her he had caught them and was slipping them on and it was only when she felt his breath on her neck that she knew he was done.

"You keep forgetting to breathe when you're around me Ms. Baek."

His voice was a soft whisper, making Na bi realise that she had indeed held her breath all this while and allowed herself to exhale. When she turned, she found herself trapped between him and the wardrobe behind her, her eyes flickering to between his lips and eyes. Changkyun raised his eyebrow as he looked pointedly at his grey hoodie which she had donned.

"You really oversold yourself with whole 'whatever you need will be arranged for' statement." She crossed her arms. "The clothes you filled my wardrobe with look like the personal collection of someone who cannot decide between being a victorian widow or a rebelious milkmaid from the alps."

Changkyun laughed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "I knew Wonho didn't know a thing about women's fashion."

Na bi blinked at him. "Wonho bought the clothes?" Changkyun nodded.

"How... how did he know about the... blue?"

"I told him."

"Did you also tell him the scent I use?"

Changkyun nodded but scoffed looking at her expression. "It's a colour and a smell Ms. Baek. I have good memory. You need not feel grateful for the bare minimum."

"Okay then, How did you know I was vegetarian?"

"I guessed? Based on the your eating habits."

"But you were barely with me for a day. How could you know?"

Changkyun grew silent for a minute, looking rather amused.

"Your questions are rather different from what I expected you to ask me Ms. Baek." He leaned closer, as though he was searching her face for something. "You're rather unpredictable."

Na bi wanted to laugh at that. Maybe she would have if Mrs. Lee didn't knock to call them for dinner. As Changkyun left, Na bi winced at the loss of his warmth and his scent around her. No, no, no. She had to snap out of it.

He had dinner with me for the first time today. Mrs. Lee was right, he was indeed picky with his food and his vegetables - he refused to even touch the kimbap. He really had enjoyed the one I made him though. I don't know if he liked my food or dare I say, if he likes me....

I don't think I'll ever know.

Day 6

I was supposed to explore the east side today but I couldn't - Changkyun was home all day.

He was there eating breakfast with me. He was there, playing the piano as I pretended to read through my books. He was there for lunch, and there when Mrs. Lee took her usual siesta. We played chess all afternoon, which he, not surprisingly, ended up winning. I let him win - it was our first game afterall. I wanted to crack his gameplay more than I wanted to defeat him, see how his brain works, figure out how he thinks. He's..... straightforward. He wasn't hiding behind any moves, or playing any mind games. He was simple and upfront. I don't understand him any more than before.

After that I caught him leaving the house so this time I asked him where he was going. He said for a swim and asked if I wanted to join. I probably shouldn't have but....

Na bi followed Changkyun out of the back door of the house, walking the opposite direction of Mrs. Lee's cottage. She hadn't had the chance to explore the east side yet so she took each step behind him carefully, looking around as she moved. When the trees cleared before her and Changkyun moved out of her view, her eyes fell on a water spring, pouring out from behind stacked rocks into a small pool reflecting the blue of the skies and white of the clouds.

Na bi stared at it wordlessly, missing the moment Changkyun stripped out of his shirt and pants and jumped into the water, disappearing under it. Coming back to her senses with the splash of droplets all over her, she looked around in the dead emptiness of the woods.

Changkyun’s head appeared above the water, hand pushing back the dark hair sticking to his face as did the familiar sight of his drenched, sculpted abs. He looked at her, head tilted, eyes questioning.

"I... don't know how to swim." Na bi confessed. The pool didn't look too deep, one definitely didn't need to know how to swim to get in there but Changkyun didn't point  that out as she pulled her pants up to her knees and sat on a rock, legs dangling in the waters.

Instead, he smirked. "Did you offer to come along just to watch me Ms. Baek?"

"Maybe." Na bi answered truthfully, trying not to let her eyes wander anywhere below his neck. Changkyun chuckled, disappearing under the water again, as Na bi relished the feeling of the cool waters around her legs.

He swam around for a while, submerging himself for long periods of time like a child trying to see how long he could hold his breath under water. Sometimes Na bi panicked when she didn't see him come up soon enough, but he always came up - the man could clearly hold his breath for a ridiculously long time.

As the sun began to set, the cool waters started feeling a lot colder, making Na bi pull her feet out, shivering. Watching her Changkyun got out, shaking the water off like a wet dog, making her cover herself, looking away. Grinning like a child, he walked away and to her surprise, began collecting a bunch of sticks and twigs from here and there. In five minutes, he stacked them all and pulled out his lighter from the pocket of the discarded pant and started a fire.

Na bi scooted closer to the flames as he dried himself off beside it and sadly, dressed himself up again. When he sat down across her, poking the sticks, she slowly began questioning him.

"So this is what you do around here?" She rubbed her hands warm. "Play the piano, swim out here, all alone?"

"When I have the time yeah." He replied, nodding. "Which is not often. I'm usually far too busy with my business to find time for such things."

What kind of business?

Strangely, Na bi felt bad for him. He didn't look like he was much older than her which meant he was in his late twenties too. She wondered how it was, living a life so isolated, so alone, so far away, in the shadows. She liked being alone too but his life seemed so.... lonely.

"I can't imagine. I've been here barely a week and I feel like I'm already losing my mind."

"Go out then." He stated like it was the obvious solution. "Some city air should help."

"Wait I..." Na bi tried not to look too shocked. "I can leave this place?"

"Of course Ms. Baek." He glanced at her amused. "You're not my prisoner."

"No I just.... thought it was too dangerous for me out there?"

"It is, but Wonho and my men can accompany you, make sure you're safe when you're out."

Of course, she would still have company, of course she'll still be watched. But she had to get out, she had to meet Mingyu somehow, tell him everything she found out so far.

"And when will I be able to go back home?" She added. "My home."

Changkyun took a deep breath. "Soon. I admit we haven't made much, actually, any progress on finding those who are after you but hopefully....soon."

"Well I can't stay here forever. My suspension ends in less than 2 weeks, I need to be back at work, back at home."

"You may return whenever you wish Ms. Baek. Today, tomorrow or in 2 weeks. I can arrange for your protection wherever you choose to be." His gaze pierced her. "I meant it when I said I'll look out for you."

Why why why Changkyun?

Na bi wanted to ask him, she wanted to ask him so much more but there was something about the silence that fell between them that didn't allow her to talk. She...liked it. She had often craved for a silence this comfortable and warm and to find it here was.....terrifying.

It persisted till the fire finally burnt out, submerging them in the darkness of the evening, dimly lit by the swarms of fireflies. Changkyun finally got up, brushing off the dried twigs and leaves off his pants, as Na bi  struggled to do the same with her foot fast asleep. Laughing at her stumbling movements, he walked up and pulled her onto her feet, her hands flying to find their place against his chest, face inches away from his.

You could put her at gunpoint but it was moments like this that Na bi dreaded more. Moments where she was so physically close to him that her defences, her inhibitions, everything crumbled down, overwhelmed by the desire to just feel him against her, just once.

But then Ana's image flashed in her head. Her lying sprawled on a forest floor much like this, all that blood.... this was sick. This man was a murderer, this man killed her friend, yet she... she couldn't do this. She shouldn't do this.

Before she could separate herself from him, it was Changkyun who pulled away, not meeting her eye.

"The temperature tends to drop fast around here after sunset. We should head back." And with that he walked away, leaving her to follow him, perplexed by his behaviour as always.

My clothes are all here. All that blue miserableness in the closet is gone, Changkyun arranged for my own clothes to be brought from home. I showered for longer than usual today. I don't know, I just felt strangely dirty.

Then I had dinner with him again. Mrs. Lee was the only one who spoke the whole time though. I couldn't find any words to say to him, he didn't seem to have any either. After dinner he informed me that Wonho will take me wherever I want to go tomorrow.... I need to figure out how to meet Mingyu. The map isn't fully done but I need to tell him whatever I know and to give him... 

Na bi looked up from her diary at the gun on the table.

She found it, in the pile of clothes Changkyun had discarded before he jumped into the waters. She'd recognise it anywhere - it was the same one he had on him the night he came to her house. The same one who's bullets implicated her in this mission with the NIH. Perhaps the same one that committed many crimes.

She just needed to get it to Mingyu somehow. She would've given it to him too. If only he didn't let slip the truth. If only Na bi didn't find out what was really going on....

#changkyun series #changkyun smut #changkyun angst #mingyu series #mingyu smut #mingyu angst #monsta x series #monsta x smut #monsta x angst #changkyun #im chankgyun #monsta x changkyun #monsta x #kim mingyu #seventeen Mingyu #mingyu #seventeen series

[linos-luna]

Hi! I was wondering if you're taking requests? If so could to write some yandere + smutt stuff with Wonho? (If you're ok with it, could you try to write something really dark?)

Oh yay Wonho! Sure thing ☺️

———————————————————————

A little Jealousy ❣️🔪

Yandere!Wonho x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ , smut, yandere, violence, extreme jealousy, unprotected sex, possessiveness, fingering, overstimulation, light knife play, threats of violence, DUB CON

———————————————————————

Your boyfriend was an interesting guy. Although he’s a fairly big muscular man, Hoseok gave off the impression of someone that could be taken advantage of. Someone that will just let things happen. Perhaps that’s the Pisces in him. But you knew that wasn’t the truth. He is very sweet and loveable but he’s also very obsessive. Sometimes he loved a little too hard and is easily jealous. This paired with his size made him very scary and you often tried to stay on his good side. But that’s not always possible.

————

Thinking back on it, you probably should’ve done more to stop it. Then again, you had been drinking a little, so your judgment could be impaired. But your boyfriend didn’t seem to care because here you were, in the passenger seat with tears rolling down your cheeks as you waited for him to get in the car. So what was your crime?

Well for starters, you had gone out with Wonho and his friends. Changkyun had invited you both and the rest of the friend group for a game night and some light drinking. After going out for dinner, you all came back to his place, pulling out the drinks.

It was in the middle of a game of uno that a lightly tipsy Changkyun was making more suggestive comments. The others saw it as light fun, not taking it serious. But your boyfriend didn’t see it that way. This playful flirting only made him even angrier when you playfully flirted back. At some point he got in between you both, his arm slamming on the table you were all playing on, he was facing his friend.

“Hey! You’re cheating!” Minhyuk called out laughing.

“Yeah… there goes our game.” Hyungwon said sarcastically while shrugging.

But Wonho paid them no mind.

“What’s up, man?” Changkyun said casually, looking up at the man.

Now your boyfriend wasn’t one to confront people like this, especially his own friends so this surprised you.

“Do you think this is funny?”

Changkyun looked at him confused and shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you think this is funny?!!” He repeated, now yelling and slamming his hand to the table again. This caused you to jump back and alerted all his friends at the table. Suddenly the fun atmosphere was gone.

“Hey baby-”

“Shut up!” He interrupted you, causing you to back up. The others got up from their seats and hyungwon went over to you after seeing how stunned and hurt you looked.

“Hyung, you can’t-”

Before hyungwon could finish, your boyfriend cut him off and glared at him. “Shut! Up! This little shit thinks he’s so sly! Flirting with my girl!”

“That’s not what I was doing! We’re just having fun” Changkyun tried reasoning.

Wonho grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him up before Shownu stopped him.

“Stop it!” He said sternly and Wonho complied, setting the youngest back down. The others were stunned to see him act this way.

“In the car….” He said, not looking directly looking at you, but you know who the message was for.

“But-”

“Now!!”

You quickly grabbed your bag and head out the door, ignoring the others who tried to stop you.

And now here you were, sitting in the car, cold and tears coming down your cheeks. It probably hadn’t been that long but you felt like you’ve been waiting in that car forever. You didn’t know what was going on inside, just assuming that your boyfriend was getting in a heated argument.

Soon he came back, slamming the car door as he came in. You only looked down at your hands as he started driving. It was an awkward ride. No one said anything but you could see just how angry he looked.

Once home, Wonho grabbed your arm and pulled you inside, you almost tripped over some steps but he was pulling you so hard at you would’ve continued being dragged along with no issue.

“Now you’re gonna listen to me.” He said, pushing you to your knees. “I don’t appreciate you being a little slut with my friends!”

“I wasn’t being-”

Suddenly Wonho kicked you in the stomach, causing you to topple over in pain.

“Why would you do that?!” You cried.

“I’m sick and tired of everyone taking advantage of me! You think you’re so slick?! Well you’re not!!”

He kicked you again, causing you to cry out before he left to the kitchen. You tried getting up but your gut was sore.

He came back with a small but sharp knife and you backed up as soon as you saw it. “Baby…? What are you doing…?”

The man crouched down to your level as you backed into the wall and held the knife to your chin.

“I’m not your baby.” He said bluntly. “I’m older, so try again.”

“Sir… o-oppa…?”

He nodded lifted to your feet then grabbing both your wrists in one hand.

“Bab- oppa please! I’m sorry I made you angry!”You were resisting but he continued dragging you.

“Get over here…” Wonho said, getting frustrated as he threw you to the bed, hard enough that you bounced right off to the floor.

You squealed as he grabbed you from the floor by your arm and laid you on your stomach, bending you over the bed.

“You’re gonna learn your lesson little girl.” Wonho said, almost laughing. This was terrifying and you couldn’t turn around to see what was happening.

He was unbuckling his belt and you looked to the side, noticing it being thrown along with the sound of his pants dropping. Before you could say anything you felt your pants being yanked off along with your underwear.

“O-oppa…” you’re voice was shaking, now deathly afraid of him. “W-what-”

Suddenly you felt a sting to your ass causing you to nearly scream.

“Shut it! You’re mine and I will do whatever I fuckin please!” He yelled.

He grabbed the knife from the nightstand and held it to your bare thigh. “Make any movements I don’t like and… well…” he paused and lightly cut your thigh causing you to cry out in pain. It was shallow enough to be nothing too serious but enough to draw just a little bit of blood. But it still hurt all the same since your thighs were pretty sensitive. You were trying to stay still but you were still shaking as he pulled off his boxers. At this point you were going to comply, you needed to really.

Wonho grabbed your arms and pinned your wrists to your back before rubbing his cock to your pussy. You breathing hitched as you felt him suddenly enter. “O-oppa-…”

“Hush baby. Let me do what I do best. I know you want it. Your such a slut for cock.” He replied smugly as he started thrusting. “Looks like you’ll take anyone’s cock…”

You weren’t exactly ready for that; you were still very tight although you found yourself almost feeling some pleasure in this sick punishment.

At this point you were being railed into the bed, you yelled out at first in pain but now in pleasure as you were getting violently fucked dumb. He was holding your wrists so tightly behind your back that they will definitely be sore afterwards.

“Oppa!” You panted.

“I know what you want.” He said, slowing down a little before reaching his hand down to your clit. He was violently rubbing it with his fingers, causing you to cum with a loud moan of his name. He also came.

For a moment you were relieved, thinking this was the end and he got all his anger out but this was before he suddenly flipped you around with his hand to your throat. He was choking you pretty hard and you felt really dizzy and disoriented, but before you could pass out he’d let go, then do it again. As he did this, he continued rubbing your clit, overstimulating you even more to the point where you’re crying and practically squirt.

He let go of your throat for a moment, letting you breathe and cough a little. You were weak and exhausted and of course, very sore. You could barely keep your eyes open and were in a daze.

“Please sir… no more…” you panted weakly.

Wonho grabbed and pushed you to the floor on your knees, you could barely hold yourself up.

“Do it…”

You weakly sat back on your ankles and grabbed his cock. It was huge and you knew you wouldn’t be able to fit it in your mouth completely. You took it in, sucking lightly and slowly bobbing your head. This is before Wonho grabbed your head and started thrusting, fucking your throat hard that it was causing you to constantly gag. You then slumped over after nearly choking on his cum.

Wonho grabbed you by the shoulders and laid you on the bed. At this point you were too weak to do anything and your boyfriend liked you like this. Your legs were spread and knees lightly raised.

“We got to lay some new ground rules…” he said, hovering over you. You could barely focus on him.

“First, don’t talk to any boys! I don’t care if they’re my friends or any of your once friends.”

You could barely nod but suddenly tensed up when you felt the tip of the knife at your thigh.

“Y-yes sir!” You replied quickly, closing your eyes.

“Second, you’re my baby… therefore I have to be with you at all times.”

“O-oppa-…” suddenly you were cut off by an intense feeling between your legs, causing you to gasp.

“Understand?!” He said sternly, now rubbing your clit again with his fingers.

“Y-yes sir!” You cried out, still feeling very overstimulated.

He stopped for a moment and smiled in satisfaction.

“Third… no talking back to me.”

“Y-Yes sir…” you said weakly.

“If you break any of these rules, you will be severely punished. Got it?!” He emphasized the last part and rubbed harder on your clit.

“Yes sir! Yes!” You cried out, your hips bucking a little. You were about to cum again.

“I’m glad we’ve reached an understanding…” Wonho said with a smile, rubbing your clit for the last time, watching you fall apart again when cumming. You were shaking and too weak to move.

Wonho then gently lifted you up and placed you further up the bed so you head could be in the pillows.

“Your my baby girl…” he said to himself as he watched you fall asleep.

“And I’ll kill anyone that gets in the way of that…”

————————————————————————

Ngl, this one was a challenge. Wonho is like a soft bear. But I did my best 😅

#kpop #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop imagines #fanfic #wonho smut #wonho x reader #monsta x wonho #monsta x #monsta x hyungwon #changkyun #wonho #yandere #monsta x yandere #monsta x smut #monsta x angst #wonho scenarios #wonho fanfic #kpop x y/n

[taexual]

monsta x / fake dating

warning: bullet points because it’s the only thing stopping me from writing 7 full-length fics. these are still long, though. lower-case intended.

requested by @sweeticeream​​.

↣ shownu

frankly, you probably didn’t know hyunwoo well enough to ask him this, but he was the only guy friend you had (even if you only knew him for a little less than 4 months)

when you brought the idea of fake-dating up to him, he was very ?? about it

why don’t you just date someone (him) for real?

you regretted bringing this up as soon as you saw the confusion in his eyes

so you went into a whole frenzy, trying to justify your decision to fake-date, all so you wouldn’t come off as crazy as you felt

and after you started to explain it more, he got far too lost in the passion in your eyes, so he just said yes

sure, he’ll pretend to be your date to this family event in exchange for good food and great company

which meant home-made dishes and an endless stream of grandmothers, exclaiming “who’s this handsome young man?!” whenever he walked into the room with you

it was a nice ego boost and he got to hold your hand the whole night, which was nice, too (because you had soft skin, that’s all, no other reason whatsoever)

you weren’t worried about what would happen once the night ended because your family only got together once every decade

but by a stroke of disaster, four of your cousins (some of them twice removed; you’d never even seen them before tonight) announced they were getting married later this year

and, of course, they hoped you and hyunwoo would come to the wedding

the two of you smiled and nodded and acted in love

but as soon as the night ended, you told hyunwoo he didn’t have to come to any other event with you

there was only so much food you could bribe him with before you started to feel awful for dragging him here

but hyunwoo gave you a look and replied, completely seriously, “i don’t know what you’re talking about, i had a nice time tonight. your family’s great.”

that definitely made you feel less terrible when you asked him, “so you wouldn’t mind going to one of those weddings with me as my fake-boyfriend?”

you laughed as you said it, trying to make it seem more like a joke than a serious suggestion, so he wouldn’t feel bad about having to turn you down

but hyunwoo didn’t feel bad in the slightest when he said, “oh, no. i would mind.”

so, that was that, then

“oh, well, it’s okay. i told you, you don’t have to go with me—”

“i want to go with you as your actual boyfriend.”

yeah, fuck it. he may not have been able to look at you as he said it, but he didn’t really see a point to fake-date you when really dating you seemed like a much better alternative

↣ wonho

it was supposed to be mutually beneficial for you both

a classic let’s-pretend-to-date-to-make-our-exes-jealous plot

and then somewhere along the way, hoseok kind of forgot that this was supposed to be all pretend?

he’d keep on holding your hand even when it was just you two in the room

or he’d still kiss your cheek when he stood up from the couch to grab something, even though there was no one to prove a point to

and okay, at first, you didn’t realize there was anything wrong with that

but then you ran into your ex without hoseok around, and he asked, “so where’s your boyfriend?”

and you didn’t even care about the envy in his voice as you told him about how much hoseok had been working lately and how you hadn’t gotten to see him a lot

and there it was

the realization that you really cared more about spending time with hoseok than about making your ex jealous

god, it was so awkward bringing this up to hoseok, though

“so, hey, do you think it worked?” you asked him that same night once your conversation (sort of) turned to your exes

he wasn’t following, “what do you mean?”

cringing now, you tried to make this sound less childish, “well, you know. getting a reaction out of—”

“oh, that.”

silence

honestly, for a minute there, you worried hoseok was about to say that it had worked and that he was back together with his ex now

but then he just chuckled nervously and admitted, “honestly, i’ve kind of forgotten all about that.”

oh, well okay, but what does that mean????

your heart feels like it’s about to leap out of your chest as you wait for him to say something else

something that would, hopefully, make the state of your relationship a little more clear

but then hoseok just went, “so, how do you feel about ordering pizza tonight? my fridge is empty,” and that was it

so, yeah, idk, i guess you’re dating for real now? 🤷🏻‍♀️

↣ minhyuk

honestly, this was supposed to be just a joke

everyone always kept teasing you about how you spent so much time together, “it was time you started to date”

so minhyuk finally just shrugged, took your hand in his, and declared, “we already are”

it was mostly meant to make your friends uncomfortable

like, okay, they couldn’t stop teasing you about how close you were? then you’ll show them just how much closer you could be

but although your friends did squirm, and their teasing did turn into complaining within a few days of this

you felt like you were the one who felt the weirdest

because, fine, when it came down to it, maybe you did have a little crush on minhyuk

it was barely there, though!

you never even thought of it as a serious crush, you just found him attractive is all

but then he was suddenly glued to your side, always touching, always smiling and glancing over at you

and yeah, it’s definitely a crush now

and thing is, this doesn’t feel fake!

minhyuk went out of his way with the pda, all to make your friends cringe

but did he really have to call and text you every night before going to sleep just to say goodnight and wish you sweet dreams??

did he really have to remember every little thing that you’ve ever told him, even if you couldn’t remember saying it??

alright, to be fair, minhyuk realized he didn’t need to do those things, he was just taking full advantage of his position as your fake-boyfriend

and your friends’ teasing had not been baseless; clearly, there was something there between you and him

so, somewhere along the way, the fake dating seamlessly morphed into serious dating

your friends hadn’t even realized that “he’s my boyfriend” used to be a joke, but now you were no longer kidding

except, at times, when minhyuk was using his boyfriend status as an excuse to drag you to a yet another dreadfully boring event with him

he’d always use the boyfriend card

“how can you say no to me, Your Boyfriend™??”

and you’d always remind him, “well, technically, you never asked me out on a date, so i don’t know where you’re getting this from”

he’d give you a look and a sarcastic laugh

but he wasn’t too wounded by this because he was too busy wondering if you’d still say the same thing when he eventually used the “since i’m your boyfriend” technique to ask you to spend the rest of your life with him

↣ kihyun

okay, now, you weren’t supposed to start fake-dating

you just happened to be standing next to each other at a party when the guy who was relentlessly hitting on you the entire night, walked by and did a double-take

he stopped in front of you two, scratched his chin thoughtfully, and then said, very accusingly, “you should have told me you didn’t want to go on a date with me because you already had a boyfriend”

(really, you didn’t want to go on a date with him because he was a disgusting pig, but whatever gets him through the night)

and kihyun – who’s, really, more of a friend-of-a-friend than a boyfriend to you – was already opening his mouth to refute this

until you grabbed his hand and whispered a hushed, “why don’t we let him believe that?”

and you obviously didn’t mean that as a prank

kihyun could tell from the look in your eyes that you needed this guy to finally get lost, you weren’t just joking around

so he cleared his throat, got his hand out from your grip and placed it around your shoulders, bringing you closer

and then he stuck his chin out at the guy, “yeah, she has a boyfriend.”

partially cringing, you glared at the guy one more time – not that it did much; he was immune to all deadly looks – and he finally shrugged and walked away

you thanked kihyun, apologized, stammered awkwardly for another minute, and walked away, hoping to simmer in mortification somewhere else

preferably at a place where this cute boy, who just pretended to be your boyfriend, couldn’t see you

but, not even fifteen minutes later, your friends were collectively hitting you on your shoulders and back, all yelling over each other

you hunched over and took a few precautionary steps forwards to escape their assault, before giving them a bewildered look

“what the hell happened????”

finally, one of your friends gave you an explanation: “how dare you bring your boyfriend to the party and not introduce us?”

you were still staring at your friends with wide eyes, and you were genuinely starting to worry about the contents of their cocktails because they knew you didn’t have a boyfriend

“people just overheard you reject some asshole because you were here with your boyfriend,” another friend said. “they saw you hugging.”

oh. well

“he wasn’t—i was just—”

but you caught sight of the same asshole out of the corner of your eye, and, suddenly, you weren’t so sure if it was a good idea to admit to lying

“yeah,” you ended up saying, a defeated sigh following shortly after. “he’s my boyfriend. i’ll introduce you later.”

“why don’t you do it now?” a voice asked, nearly making you jump out of your skin

kihyun – the king of showing up at the right place, at the right time – was smiling as he stood next to you

your friends, of course, proceeded to pounce on you (that’s how they show love)

and it took you another half an hour to get kihyun alone to ask him why, in the name of god, would he carry on pretending to be your boyfriend?

and he’s been so composed the whole night, but suddenly he’s an awkward mess

“i don’t know,” he admitted, “maybe that’s the only way i knew how to ask you out on a real date.”

you both knew that there were many easier ways to do that, but you had to admit two things

one, you kind of have no choice but to say yes now, since everyone already thinks you’re dating

and two, the butterflies in your stomach have been rioting ever since kihyun introduced himself as your boyfriend that first time, so it would be good for your health to go on a real date with him. you know, to stop all the fluttering and the shaking of your heart

↣ hyungwon

hyungwon got you into the fake-dating mess by accident

he’d been trying to impress his new manager because he felt like he really deserved a promotion

but no matter what he did, the guy seemed to hate him

and then one time during lunch, hyungwon happened to start a conversation about music, and he discovered that the manager was into the same indie band as he was

he milked the hell out of this, mentioning every obscure song he could remember, and he could almost see the points he was gaining with the manager

he even ended up being called up to his office at the end of the day

“this will sound weird, but are you seeing anyone right now?” the manager asked

hyungwon genuinely thought he gave off the wrong impression and even glanced at the sexual harassment awareness posters on the wall of the office

but then the manager explained, “i have four tickets to the band’s concert this friday. we could go on a double-date.”

and, because this was his promotion on the line, hyungwon stammered, “uh… yes, i am seeing someone… a concert sounds great.”

cut to you getting a panicked phone call from hyungwon several hours later, demanding that you cancel your plans for friday night and pretend to be his girlfriend to impress his manager

eh, you like the band anyway, and hyungwon was a good friend, even if you never really saw him romantically, so why not

but, like in any classic rom-com, after spending the night exaggerating hyungwon’s positive qualities (in a subtle way, of course), you came to realize that, huh, maybe you did see him as a romantic interest? kind of? a little bit?

it was just nice how he kept holding you all throughout the concert, so he wouldn’t lose you in the crowd of people

and it was nice how he walked you home and checked on you even after his manager and his girlfriend had left the two of you alone

and it was also nice—alright, fine, you had a proper crush on hyungwon now

you assumed he’d done most of those things that night because he wanted to leave a positive impression on his manager

but then hyungwon got that promotion (the concert played a part in that for sure), and he invited you to celebrate at his house

and you showed up, thinking it was going to be a party for all of his friends, but it was just him, a bottle of wine, and two glasses

so you got worried that maybe you showed up too early, but hyungwon shook his head, “no, you’re right on time. wine?”

“uh… shouldn’t we wait for everyone else?”

“there’s no one else,” he said, his hands shaking as he unscrewed the cork. “it’s just you.”

oh, okay, then

now your heart was shaking and what-not, that’s great

“i wanted to thank you,” he said after he finally managed to pour wine into your glasses and onto the counter. “if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t have gotten this promotion.”

“that’s not true, you’re a great employee and you deserve this.”

hyungwon appreciated you saying that, but he looked down and deflected, “you know, this promotion had been something that i was looking forward to for the past few months. until the night we went to that concert.”

you waited for him to continue, but his mouth was too dry, so he took a big gulp of his wine before he even finished the toast

(was this even a toast? oh god, he couldn’t understand what he was doing)

“t-that night,” he tried to continue, “i realized that i’m looking forward to seeing you again more than i’m looking forward to getting promoted. i was absolutely ready to go on a dozen more double-dates with you before i got that promotion.”

“i thought we’d have to do that, too, to be honest,” you interjected with a chuckle, alleviating the atmosphere slightly

“yeah?” hyungwon was glad to hear that. “i’m really, kind of, sad that we didn’t have to do that.”

quietly (because you didn’t dare to start drinking your wine yet, so you lacked the courage), you admitted, “me too.”

oh now he was positively vibrating and he had to set his glass of wine down as he braced himself

“why don’t we go on an actual date? no promotions to look forward to this time, just each other’s company.”

he looked like he was going to combust in three, two—

but you saved him by replying right away, “yeah. i’d like that.”

↣ jooheon

you and jooheon both wanted some peace and quiet when you went out with your friends, who all knew that the two of you were single, and kept setting you up with various people in the bar

so you suggested telling your friends that you both had already found relationships

“they’ll never believe it unless they see our partners,” jooheon pointed out

“okay,” you nodded, admitting the mistake. it only took you a second to come up with a better plan, though, “then how about we tell them we’re dating each other?”

he watched you for a minute, his eyebrows furrowed

“that is the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard,” he said then. “let’s do it.”

dumb or not, it worked

finally, you were able to relax, unwind, and get wasted on a friday night without being introduced to a new stranger every two drinks

it was a dream come true

and it worked like an excuse in other settings as well!

you don’t feel like attending another company dinner? “sorry, my boyfriend’s taking me out tonight, it’s our anniversary.”

jooheon hates his pretentious neighbour, so he needs an excuse to say no to his party? “sorry, got plans with my girlfriend this weekend.”

funnily enough, no one ever called either of you out on your bullshit

your co-workers had seen jooheon pick you up from work countless times

and all of jooheon’s neighbours knew you were the only person left who still had a spare key to his apartment (after a very unfortunate incident involving minhyuk, the notebook for jooheon’s lyrics, and a forgotten candle “for ambiance”, when jooheon was out of town)

nor you, nor jooheon had enough time for a serious relationship, and your fake-relationship never interfered with casual dating (since it all tended to end after one date)

so it was all fun and games

until your friends started asking, “so when are you going to propose?” and you realized this had been going on for a long time

jooheon, who was so used to his role as your fake-boyfriend, didn’t even skip a beat as he said, “when the time is right”

but the question rang in both of your heads for the rest of the night

when your taxi stopped outside of jooheon’s house at the end of the night, you got out with him because he was usually the type of drunk who could fall asleep in an elevator if left unsupervised

so, to save him the embarrassment – and also, to save you a trip back and forth between your houses – you tended to sleep in his guest room on friday nights

“you know what would be funny?” you asked him as the two of you took the elevator to his floor, “if we told our friends that we weren’t actually dating this whole time.”

jooheon chuckled, seemingly agreeing that this really would be funny

“you know what would be even funnier?” he responded, his speech still slurred from the alcohol. “if we actually started to date.”

you laughed, nodding, because that really would be even funnier

but then once jooheon was in bed and you prepared to head to the guest room, he suddenly grabbed your hand, stopping you

“so what time should i pick you up next week?” he asked

he never picked you up for anything, so you were understandably confused, “for what?”

“for our date,” he explained.

“oh, to pull the prank of the year?” you asked, chuckling. “first, we pretended to date, and then we actually started to date. but, actually, it’s all one big—”

“no,” jooheon disagreed, his eyes drooping, but his grip on your hand remaining firm. “this won’t be a prank. it’ll be a date. for real, this time.”

↣ i.m

he needed to get his family off his back (in the kindest way possible, of course)

there were only so many “it’s time for you to get married, why don’t i arrange a blind date for you?” a person could take

and you’d been his best friend for years, so hey, can you lend your friend a hand? you won’t even have to do anything

or so he said

you agreed because, according to changkyun, he’d just tell his family that you were his girlfriend, and you wouldn’t actually have to go to any dinners, or any parties whatsoever

how utterly and completely dumb this was!!!!!!

you run in the same circles, of course you were going to run into his family in town

their congratulatory hugs weren’t even the worst part (but it was still awkward, and you made a mental note to strangle kyun later)

the worst part was the “i knew you two kids would get together eventually!” comments

you felt like you were disappointing his family because you weren’t actually dating, and that felt a lot like disappointing your real family

it was crushing

you’d had such a good relationship with changkyun’s whole family, they were your second home

and now you were lying to them

so you didn’t think you were exaggerating when you sent changkyun a gentle “prepare to die” message once you managed to escape his relatives

he had a solution, though (at least, he thought he did)

“okay, so how’s this, then – we date for real?”

???????

he’d been your best friend for so long, you struggled to think of him as anything else

but it was also a defence mechanism in a way? you used to have the biggest crush on changkyun when you first became friends, so you needed to find a way to suppress these feelings

“changkyun,” you began seriously, “do you really think dating you would traumatize me less than my fear of disappointing your family?”

he watched you for a minute, the insult buffering, and then sent a pillow flying right at your head

“i’m saying i want you to go out with me, dumbass.”

you tried to duck, but still got swatted on the back of your head with the pillow as you asked, “why?”

he laughed humourlessly (and nervously) and then rolled his eyes, “gee, i don’t know, maybe because i don’t want you to feel bad about lying to my family, you sensitive wuss. or maybe because i genuinely have feelings for you, i don’t know.”

you were about to toss the pillow back at him, but then stopped

swallowing hard, you asked, “so which is it?”

“i can’t even breathe right now, which do you think it is?”

you were the one rolling your eyes this time, “can’t you just say it like a normal person, you asshole?”

“it’s already obvious, dimwit.”

“are you seriously only insulting me because you can’t tell me you like me? that’s lame, even for a nerd like you.”

he was groaning in exasperation at this point, “what else do you want me to do? you’re the most oblivious person i’ve ever met. and i don’t like you, you big idiot. i’m pretty sure i’m in love with you.”

mlist | inbox

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[mebeindelulu]

He calls you clingy - Im Changkyun

bf! Changkyun x fem! reader . a little bit of angst, fluff .

After a whole day spent at the university, finally you could meet your boyfriend Changkyun. So you picked up the take out and rushed to the studio where he was working on his new album.

When you arrived, the door was slightly opened so you quickly noticed that two people were talking inside.

"Uh... I can't go with you bro. Yn will be here in a minute. We spent littleraly the whole day yesterday but she can't live without me." You heard him ironically laughing, "I love her but Jesus... She is so clingy sometimes that it is annoying".

You were so so confused. You've never heard something like that from Changkyun. Yesterday you both had really a good time from coffee date, cooking dinner together to watching your favourite movies and walking around the Han river at night. And the whole idea about spending almost the whole day together was his idea, so hearing that you are "clingy" and that he has enough of you really got the worst insecurities out of you. Tears started to form in your eyes as you turned around and stormed out of the building.

In the bus you texted Changkyun that something in the university came up and you have to stay longer so you won't come to the studio today. When you arrived at your tini apartment you decided to drink the sadness away with wine.

To give Changkyun more space that he "needed", you thought that it will be a good idea to not text with him too much and to not meet with him as well this week. And the word part was that it looked like he is totally fine with that.

After one day that you declined his phone call saying that you have classes, he didn't call you anymore. And after two days instead of replaying to his "Good morning baby, how are you?" as you usually did sending him selfie or describing your day by the voice message, you only replayed "good, I'm just bussy" and he stopped to text you first. So you both were barely texting at all.

After a week of going to university and spending all your free time sitting alone in the apartment, your best friend could tell that there is something that is bothering you, so she told you to get ready because you are going to a party Friday night.

At the party you drink a few drinks and had fun dancing with your friends. You need that kind of distraction from overthinking your relationship and crying every night because your biggest fears came true: he got bored of you. At least that was what you thought.

One of your friends took photo of your group on the dance floor and posted on Instagram with caption "the single ladies", which could get interpreted wrong. Most of the girls in your group were not single. But the song that was played at the time when you were dancing was Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and that's why she added that caption. It had nothing to do with if you are taken or not.

When you were at the party, Changkyun was working at the studio, just like for the last couple weeks, working on his album. And he even wouldn't know that you are at the club if not his friend sent him a screenshot of your friend's "Single Ladies" post.

He suddenly got jealous and betrayed. You said that you will study all night and that's why you can't meet with him, when he asked if you want to spend the evening with him. It hurt him that you avoided him last week, but also he tried to understand you since you were studying so hard for the exams that are coming next week.

He couldn't understand why you didn't even texted him anymore like you used to. A single selfie and "good morning jiagi" would be enough for him. But there was only silence for the past week. And when he texted first you gave him only short replies.

But also deep down he knew that sometimes you need some time alone to isolate yourself from others and be alone with your own thoughts. And he thought that after isolating yourself from people you will come back to normal life and spend a lot of time with him.

But after seeing that you are at the club instead of being with him, he thought that something must be wrong. So he decided that it's enough. Changkyun put on his coat, took his car keys and rushed to the club that you were in (thankfully your friend added a location to her post).

You was standing by the bar with a drink in your hand when some tall guy joined you.

"Hi, what are you doing here?... Alone?"

You could tell that he is handsome, but weren't interested. Your friends were dancing on the dance floor but you were not in the mood to join them do you stayed here, drinking. But you didn't wanted to give such a classy answer so you decided to be a little bit cocky since you had nothing to do.

"And why are you asking, hmm?" He laughed at your question and tried to lean closer to you. But you took a step back. It was too much for you.

"Because a beautiful women like you shouldnt be alone in a place like that." He said putting his hand on your hips, which you immediately shaked off.

And at this moment someone pushed the man away. It was Changkyun. "Don't come close to her, she's mine. Understand?" You could see his jaw clenching.

"Okay, okay. Got it. Chill man." The guy said laughing and walking away.

You were happy that he was here but at the same time you were confused how he knew where you've been.

"Changkyun? What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question!!!" He yelled at you. "What was that? Who was this guy?" He was really mad. And you didn't like that he yelled at you like that... especially when you didn't do anything wrong.

He was angry seeing some guy that close to you, especially that lately you distanced yourself from him.

You suddenly become anxious, tears forming in your eyes, you lowered your head down. When Changkyun saw that you become tense, he shook his head and sadness took over his anger. He hated seeing you crying. And he knew that you really badly endure if someone is yelling at you.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I didn't wanted to yell at you. I'm sorry." His voice soften as he took a step forward and took your hands in his. You relaxed by his touch.

"Let's go home, Okay?" You nodded your head to his question.

"But first I have to tell girls that I'm leaving" and as you said you quickly swiped of tears and went to the dance floor where girls were dancing and said that you are leaving with your boyfriend. Of course they wanted you to stay and tried to hold you but Changkyun intervened and they let you go.

You were driving in silence for the most of the ride. And it wasn't a comfortable silence. You both could feel the tension.

"Sooo you still didn't answer my question. What you were doing at the party? I thought that you were studying tonight." He asked looking at the road and avoiding an eye contact. You felt so terrible. You didn't want to lie to your boyfriend but you still was sad that he thought that you are clingy. And studying was an excuse to not to spend time with him and give him space. But right now you started to have doubts about it.

"I was but Mia decided that they can't leave me alone so I had to go with them." You answered mirroring Kyuns behaviour, looking ahead on the road.

"Oh, so you have time to go out to drink but you don't have time to give me at least one call, huh?" You could feel that he was hurt. But so you were too.

"I thought that I'm a burden to you so I decided to give you space..." You put your head low and started to play with your fingers.

At that time you arrived at your apartment parking.

"What? I've never said anything like that. Where did you get this from?" Finally he turned to look at you.

"But you did say something like that. About a week ago, when I came to the studio the door to your room was open and I've heard you complaining about me to Soobin. You said that you have enough of spending a lot of time with me and that I'm clingy. So I decided not to come in and instead I went home." Holding his both hands on the wheel he listened to you carefully as you quietly explained your point of view.

"I don't even know what to say right now YN." he looked at you with mixed emotions. You couldn't say if he is angry, sad or just disappointed. "Then don't say anything" that proved that he didn't care about you so you wanted to get out of the car as quick as possible but his hand on your shoulder stopped you.

"Don't. Please. I'm sorry, listen..." When you looked at him with teary eyes he thought that his heart stopped. It really hurt you what he said a week ago. Changkyun took your hand and hold in his both hands.

"Yn, baby. I didn't want to say that. I didn't mean that, really." He hold your chin and put it up so you were looking at him. "I love you and I love spending time with you, please believe me." A tear went down your face and he swiped it with his thumb.

"I just had a hard day. We are finishing my album and everything is just stressing me out. I know that it is not an excuse but I seriously had no idea why I said that, I'm sorry."

"Can I hug you?" You asked shyly and Kyun immediately hugged you caressing slowly his hand on your back and the other hand patting gently your head.

"If I ever say something like that again just punch me in the face" He said, which make you laugh.

"Do you want me to stay with you for the night?" He asked While still hugging you. You pulled out from his embrace. "Yes, if you can..."

"Of course I can baby" he said kissing your lips.

And that's how you both spent the night drinking wine and talking about this whole week. He said sorry to you a couple more times and promised that you are his favourite person and he will never have enough of you.

End.

#changkyun #im changkyun #i.m changkyun #changkyun monsta x #i.m monsta x #changkyun imagines #changkyun x reader #i.m #monsta x #monsta x au #monsta x fanfic #monsta x imagines #changkyun fanfic #monsta x one shot #monsta x changkyun #changkyun fluff #monsta x angst

[moonlightdreamzz]

QUICK STOP — MINHYUK

<3 You didn’t think Minhyuk was going to have a day off and not stop by and see you, did you?

THEMES ✰ Angst w/ glimpses of fluff. Reader and Minhyuk have a very confusing relationship.

NOTE ✰ Seeing Minhyuk literally made me feral…so I had to quickly write about how it made me feel, but me being so angsty it just took a turn.

9:00AM

“I have something to tell you. Don’t be mad at me.”

You take a deep breath, your mind already preparing for the worst to leave his lips. The facial expression he’s currently wearing isn’t angry though, or guilty, which is making everything even more confusing for you.

“Wait, I’m sorry.” His palm holds itself up to his screen; a signal for you to not freak out like you always do whenever he does anything unpredictable around you. “We talked about this.”

Your eyebrow raises in synchronization with the smile you can never keep hidden whenever he’s doing anything in your direction. Whether it be staring, speaking, breathing, whatever; you can’t help it.

“Mhm.” You encourage slyly.

He continues, “And I promised you I wouldn’t say ‘I have to tell you something’ without proceeding to immediately say what I have to tell you, because if not, it makes you, and I quote, ‘want to slam your head into a wall’. So I’m sorry.”

Your laughter escapes your throat so hard that it hurts a little. Minhyuk is cracking up just as hard as you, and it feels like as soon as one of you has caught your breath, the other snorts, and all progress goes to shit. Your phone is now on the floor even though you don’t know when it fell.

“When did you get that phone? Like in January?” Minhyuk wheezes. You find it difficult to recall the exact duration it takes for him to regain his composure because you are laughing more than he is now. “This is like the 200th time you’ve dropped it. Speaking of, have you taken that old ass screen protector off? It’s clearly been through enough.”

“How about you buy me one, since you got so much to say.” You scold as you hop off your bed to retrieve his virtual presence. The moment you step onto the floor, a sudden chill zaps through your body, causing your laughter to briefly freeze in mid-air. It's like the floor is playing a cruel prank on you, reminding you of its icy presence as a rude awakening to reality. If Minhyuk was here, he would have foreseen this frigid encounter and saved the day with his thoughtfulness.

He possesses an extraordinary talent for predicting where your tired, exposed feet would seek refuge in the morning. Your slippers would have been here. If only he were here in this chilly moment, you think, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Cold feet?” He teases, as always, knowing what you’re thinking without you having to say anything.

His smile is brighter than you've seen it in a long time as he gazes adoringly at you over the phone. You're curious what he's thinking and what he's been up to this week. He certainly has been eating well, which warms your heart because he was constantly anxious before enlisting, focusing on everything but himself. You've missed him in every way, but you can't bring yourself to tell him.

The saga of your relationship reads like a bestselling novel. It's a tale of tangled emotions and unspoken truths, a rollercoaster ride of passion and confusion. You both know there's something between you that defies any clear definition, something beyond the boundaries of conventional romance. A connection so intense that it keeps pulling you back together, no matter how hard you try to resist.

You're head over heels for him, and he claims to feel the same way. But there's always a lingering doubt, a whisper in the back of your mind questioning the authenticity of his words. Is this love or just a twisted game? Can two people who share such an undeniable chemistry remain in this perpetual state of limbo, reluctant to label their feelings?

You feel yourself drowning in his orbs. Those beautiful brown eyes of his that matches yours are your home. You often think to yourself though, who else has found refuge in his eyes when the two of you haven’t spoken in weeks?

“You have something to tell me?”

Did his phone freeze? His eyes are clearly on you, but he’s not responding.

“Minhyuk?” You chuckle with a pure expression of confusion resting on your features.

He appears to come out of a trance you weren't aware he was in, blinking repeatedly to test whether his unconscious heard what you said to him. "I apologize. What did you say?” He asks, embarrassedly touching the back of his neck. Was he blushing? "I'm looking at the most beautiful woman on the planet. I'm a little disoriented right now."

That was another thing that terrified you about your lover. Were you even allowed to call him that? No matter, he talked so damn good. He could sell you a beach house in Idaho if you wanted to. Regardless of the confusion between the two of you, you trusted him wholeheartedly. Your concerns and uncertainties were cut away by his smooth tongue like a bullet made of gold, leaving you captivated by his alluring charisma. He had an answer for every ask, a fix for every issue, and a promise for every aspiration.

“I’m off tomorrow.”

You immediately beam, hoping he's telling you this because he's going to spend the entire day with you doing everything you enjoy. You may make him his favorite depending on when he arrives, but if he arrives too early, the two of you can find somewhere to sneak off to, right? You can also order takeout. Sure, take out—

Mingyuk took a photo

“I’m sorry.” He apologies, his naughty tone showing that he is indeed not sorry at all. “You just looked so cute smiling at me like that. I’ll send it to you.”

Before you can even start scolding him for snapping terrible pictures of you, you remember the second part of what he started this entire conversation with.

Don’t be mad at me.

“Why would I be mad at you for having a day off?”

“Because…I’m not going to be able to see you.”

Confusion always has to be present, right? You can't possibly be angry. If you told this story to anyone else, they'd advise you to be grateful that he cares enough about your sentiments to tell you what he's doing. It didn't make the pain go away, either. You can't help but wonder if he would come see you if you were his girlfriend.

“Don’t do that, baby. It’s not like that.” He assures. “The concert is tomorrow, and I really want to see you, but I haven’t seen them in forever. If they weren’t performing I could split the time, but it’s been a while since I’ve been with Monbebes and the boys. I hope you understand.”

What we’re you going to say? No Minhyuk, don’t go and support the people who have had your back since before we even met. Spend time with me instead, the person who you haven’t seen in months, isn’t your girlfriend, and probably never will be? You damn sure wanted to, but you can’t.

If he were here right now, he'd be softly rubbing your back, looking for traces of rage or hurt in your eyes. He despised inflicting pain on you. He'd press his lips to yours, expecting you not to kiss him back but hoping you would. Of course, you'd never be so unhappy with him that you'd refuse him his treasured kisses.

"Thank you, babygirl. You’re so understanding." He always replies to your devotion, planting a sensual kiss to the side of your head before peppering kisses on your neck.

You put on a brave face. He knows it's a ruse, and you know it, but you're not feeling charitable enough right now to fake it to the point where he believes you're actually happy with it.

“It’s cool, shawty.” Is all you can muster in the moment.

What was once a vibrant phone call full with delightful laughing and admiration has suddenly turned cold—or so the aura feels for you. You haven't found the words to bring the vibe from earlier back, and you know him; he wants to move on from this subject now, but based on previous arguments, he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about your feelings, because he does.

You haven't talked to him in a long time, so moping about it is worthless. Breaking the silence was in his best interest, and regrettably, satisfying him meant more to you than it should have given how un-defined the two of you are.

“You wanna hear about my week?”

His smile glows through your phone once more, exactly like it did when you answered it the first time. You can tell he's sighing with relief. He's not sure if you want to keep talking to avoid feeling guilty, or if it's sincere, but he doesn't care. You're well aware of it. He always says to you, “I just want us to be okay. Always.”

“Now you know I didn’t call just to talk about me. Tell me everything, and don’t leave anything out.”

8:00PM

Despite how childish it seems, you promised yourself that you wouldn't check Twitter today. Of course you failed. All day, your timeline has been filled with Minhyuk looking so damn good. You two stayed on FaceTime for hours yesterday, giving you plenty of opportunity to admire his unrivaled attributes, yet a phone conversation doesn't do him justice, and neither does a photograph. You wanted him right now.

His white sweater suited his tan skin beautifully, and you were drawn to the way his muscles, which you had no idea had expanded so much, were attempting to escape from it. He’s the only man that has to ability to make you quiver at a simple photo of him.

Had he been here, instead of there, the second he walked through your door you wouldn’t have hesitated to rip it off. He wouldn’t have questioned you for a moment, missing you just as much as you’ve missed him. The two of you would have made love all over the house, probably until the morning time, and it would fill the gap inside you from not being able to call him yours—temporarily of course.

With Minhyuk absent, the empty house lies before you, beckoning you to decide how you will occupy yourself in his absence. Now is the time to contemplate and plan your activities, to explore the rooms and corners, and to find solace or adventure within the walls that surround you.

But you'd rather sit on your couch and do nothing, which is the exact opposite of what Minhyuk would like. He used to make fun of you for lazing around the house all day.

You have no recollection of falling asleep. After an hour or two of scrolling through Tiktok, your vision went fuzzy, and your grasp on your phone became increasingly shaky before dropping to the floor, much like it did on the phone with him the day before.

12:00AM

He hasn't been here in what seems like an eternity. Despite the recent distance between you two, his heart feels warm as he looks at the wreath packed with red tulips that is still hanging on your door. He remembers it as if it were yesterday—you couldn't believe him when he said it was what he wanted you two to make one for anniversary of you two meeting, because you never believed that you genuinely mean something to him.

He types in your passcode, stepping into your cozy apartment. Instinctively he inhales the brisk air that smells of lavendar and another scent that he can’t quite put his finger on.

As he looks around your place, he giggles to himself in adoration. “This girl…she really thought I wasn’t coming.”

Minhyuk hasn't even begun looking for you yet. He figures you're in your room, knocked out cold, because he doesn't hear feet dashing into your closet, nor did you try to come out with a lousy excuse for a weapon—yet another thing he chastised you for on a daily basis. He confidently strides into your kitchen, his eyes scanning the room, immediately recognizing the disarray that has become all too familiar to him. He knows, without a doubt, that your seasonings need to be meticulously arranged in their designated spots, and there are a few dishes lingering in the sink, patiently waiting for attention.

It doesn’t take him long to tidy up in there. He walks further into your apartment, prepared to pick up your clothes he’s certain you stripped off earlier before you went to bed, that he hears your little snores. When he sees you, snuggled up to the soft, cozy blanket that he carefully picked out for you a few months ago, his heart practically leaps out of his chest. The sight of you wrapped in that warm embrace brings a flood of joy and contentment, knowing that he was able to provide you with comfort and happiness.

His knees, slightly bent, fall naturally to your side with a light thump as he quietly settles next to you. In this moment, he wrestles with a choice: should he wake you up, gently brushing his fingertips against your cheek to rouse you from slumber? Or should he carefully lift you up in his strong, comforting arms, carrying you to bed like a precious treasure? As he contemplates his decision, he can't help but smile at the thought of tomorrow, knowing he will capture the beauty of the present moment by snapping a photo of himself holding you tight in his chest, a symbol of love and protection. Then though, you’ll be upset that he didn’t wake you.

His hands move to your shoulder, gently shaking you. Not to his surprise, you don’t budge.

“Kisses it is, huh?”

His lips continue to press irritatingly wet kisses all over your face, causing your nose to wrinkle up and your eyes to clench up like an irritated teenager. You try to turn the other direction, but he holds you down and prevents you from moving. Minhyuk is relieved that it's him in here with you and not some stranger, because your survival abilities are pitiful.

“Y/N.” He says sternly, although his smile is as radiant as it always is when he’s looking at you.

Your eyes begin to flutter open unexpectedly. You're not sure whether to yell, cry, or both. Your eyesight isn't the best, but even in your waking disorientation, do you realize who's standing in front of you?

“Minhyuk?” Your voice is raspy and filled with utter confusion. “What are you doing here? What the fuc—

His kisses you instantly, and whatever the feeling is called when you feel like your body is exploding with every emotion at once, that’s how you feel. You want more, and you attempt to pull him on top of you, but he stays put. You whine into his mouth, causing him to chuckle at you before pulling away.

“Don’t do this to me right now.” You protest.

Minhyuk takes a deep breath. The kind he takes when he‘s in the midst of making a choice that’s for the greater good, but not exactly what he wants to do.

“I want to do that. So bad.” He begins. He adjusts his collar that you just a minute ago had a very seductive grip on, and when he touches it he swears he’s right back into that moment with you. “And we will, but I haven’t seen you in two months and I don’t have long. Isn’t it wrong for that to be the first thing we do?”

“If I wasn’t crazy, I would say you actually care about me.” You laugh, absolutely and thoroughly in love with the man in front of you right now. This is the man who has captured your heart. This is the person who knows just what to say and when to say it. His eyes are sparkling as they take you whole, swallowing any resentment you felt toward him when you thought he wouldn't stop by. You can’t help but to leap into his arms, squeezing tight as you still haven’t processed how real this moment is.

He laughs as well, but his tone his somber as well as his smile. “Why do you always say that?” He questions. “That I don’t care?”

Maybe this is the reason why you aren’t his girlfriend. All you ever did was question him and his feelings for you. Minhyuk always said to you that one of his favorite things about you is how outspoken you are. How you’re never afraid to say how you feel, or how other peoples actions make you feel. But in this moment, and every other doubting moment the two of you have shared does it feel like all you do is fuck things up even worse.

He’s looking at you, but you’re now looking through him. Minhyuk didn’t mean to send you inside your head, feeling embarrassed for saying what’s on your mind. He really just wants to understand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I was just making a little joke.” You attempt to cover.

“No you weren’t. And that’s okay. I just want to know why you always say that.”

You two couldn’t be about to argue after not seeing eachother in two months, right?

You don’t want to say the wrong thing, but you know you have to say something. His eyes are becoming impatient with you. You know he’s wondering why say such a thing if you can’t tell me why you said it when asked.

“I don’t want to fight.” Is all you can muster, shooting your eyes to ceiling. Let it go, Minhyuk. Is all you can think to yourself. The tension is getting thick, practically suffocating you. You just want to have a beautiful night with him. You want him to make love to you, and you want to fall asleep in his arms. You want to wake up before him, watching him sleep soundly before getting up to make his favorite breakfast. You want to tell him how much you love him. Not this.

“Tired of doing that.”

So, he really wants to do this?

“What are we, Minhyuk?”

Now he’s the one unable to find the words.

He pretends to contemplate. You know it’s insincere, because he looks to the left of him while he thinks instead of the right—a tell sign of him pretending to do something. He often did this when he was trying to surprise you with a date, claiming the two of you were going one place, when in reality he was taking you to some expensive restaurant.

“I love you.” He says confidently. You don’t know why you were waiting for him to say more. You want to laugh out loud, but you can’t, because the laugh will turn into a pitiful cry.

“That’s it?”

“No. I just—we talked about this, baby. I love you, and you love me, and we’re figuring this out. You’ve been through a lot with love and so have I. I just wanna enjoy this, because this,” he places his thumb to your cheek, rubbing it softly before continuing, “this is a beautiful thing that I don’t ever want to ruin. Do you understand?”

You nod helplessly. He knows that anytime his hands are anywhere on you, that his word is law. Being embarrassed about how delusional you are when it comes to his confusing analogies wasn’t going to make you come to your senses. You can’t help how much you love him. He makes you feel; something you never thought you’d do again. And you like it—no, you absolutely love it. It’s better than being numb and emotionless.

“I love you.” He repeats, moving his lips to your neck now. “And I want you in my life forever. I’m yours. We don’t need a label for that. Let’s just be.”

“Let’s just be.” You repeat, giving him more access and moving his hands to your chest, letting him to love you anyway he wants.

Minhyuk is on top of you now, and as he attempts to continue with your night, his phone begins to vibrate in his pocket.

“Just ignore it.” He breathes out, taking his phone of out of his pocket and throwing it behind the couch.

It’s his world, so you do as he says.

1:00AM

#minhyuk #monsta x imagines #minhyuk imagines #kpop black reader #minhyuk angst #minhyuk fluff #monsta x angst #kpop x poc #kpop x black reader

[dollydaisies]

hi! i’m a screenwriter but also a very mentally ill girl with too many ideas that i need to share with the class.

for this blog, i’d like to merge my screenwriting with fanfiction writing. if you’re unfamiliar with screenwriting, here’s an example:

this is the script to s1 ep1 of stranger things. the dialogue will not be formatted exactly as such because i don’t think its possible on tumblr, but i’ll do something like it. it’ll make it easier for me and you to visualize, and it takes a lot of pressure off of me!

so, my question is…

#bts headcanons #bts reactions #bts blurbs #bts x reader #svt headcanons #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt imagines #skz angst #skz reactions #skz fluff #skz smut #svt scenarios #svt smut #svt angst #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts imagines #skz imagines #skz x reader #monsta x drabbles #monsta x blurbs #monsta x x reader #monsta x angst #monsta x fluff #monsta x reactions #monsta x scenarios #monsta x smut

[spacequokka]

Your Ex meets your kid

You were as beautiful as you were the day you left him.

Granted, you looked a little different, older and mature. Your curves had a devastating effect on Hyungwon's focus, leading him to overappreciate how you filled out the leggings you wore. He was on his way over to you before he even realized it.

"Hey--" He called out. You stood at the backseat door of your car, focused on something inside. Right as he made it to your side, you pulled a baby out and into the sun. "Oh."

You noticed him immediately and your face lit up. "Hyungwon! Hey, how've you been?"

He couldn't keep the shock off his face. A kid? Had you really been apart that long? "Good…Not as busy as you though." He cringed at his own awkwardness. "Who's this adorable little face?"

"This is my daughter." You lifted up her tiny fist and waved it at him. "Say hi to mommy's friend."

Friend. A reminder that though the split often felt like a fever dream, it was very real. You weren't his to love anymore.

He waved back shyly, smile strained. She was a splitting image of you, albeit with eyes he couldn't place. Must've been from the dad. It was easy to wish he was looking at a pair of eyes like his own instead.

"So, splurging on your day off or…?" He gestured to you.

"Just a day out. Hopefully, just window shopping but if I see something cute for her…" You shrugged with a grin and he hated it. Hated how comfortable things were, how natural talking to you was after all these years. Hated how he still missed you. His fingers itched to touch your face. His lips longed to feel yours one last time.

"That's cute." As much as it hurt to think about, he had to get away before he made a mistake. "Well, it was great to see you again. And meet your precious daughter."

Your eyes widened. "Oh! Well, if you're not too busy, wanna head to the food court and grab lunch? I'd love to hear what you've been up to. Hear about your mom."

He knew he should've said no, but he found himself nodding anyway. "Sure, why not?"

#monsta x drabble #monsta x imagines #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x angst #hyungwon angst #hyungwon x reader #hyungwon x you #mom!reader

[iibonniee]

Cherry Lip Gloss | Part 2

Pairing: Im Changkyun x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: totally fucking angst, no fluff (i got rid of that and this mini series has none of that), mentions of drinking, semi stalking (?) author almost cried

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist | Part One

Alcohol and a soft, crisp breeze.

Leather kept tan skin warm as the trees did another wave, allowing cool air to whisk away the once bearable air. Everything was silent besides the sound of water crashing on rocks. Not a single soul. Just silence and nature. Lips met the rim of the beer bottle; a long drag, then a mournful sigh. It had an addictive taste. To enjoy something so deadly will always come at an untimely cost.

Somber brown eyes met and enjoyed the view of the sun meeting the ocean. The sun seemed at peace, no matter what cycle it had gone through. He appeared at peace. He wished he was at peace. Rosy red cheeks had the cool breeze nipping away at him without much care. His vision blurred for only a moment, and he blinked away the threat of tears.

Inhale, hold it in, exhale. Don’t think about the consequences.

He didn’t. Instead, he listened to the same sound of the waves hitting the rocks while his mind continued on with the war he had wanted to desperately forget about. Life was never a kind thing. Not back then, and certainly not now. A man so broken is never meant to be fixed. All the pieces were lost where he once walked. Never to be recovered or fixed.

There was no way for him to collect them. To fix a hollow shell that was cracked beyond repair. A man who’s been through it all will certainly never see the bright side of it. Not him. It felt like his fate was set in stone. That this was the life he was meant to live. One so painful, yet the pain is never physical. His heart is the main victim in this story.

Don’t close your eyes. Never allow the tears to show. You’re stronger than that.

Strength. He was losing it. Each time the seconds met the minute and the minute met the hour, the feeling of growing weaker was welcomed. A quick swirl, brown eyes watched as the liquid swirled around in the bottle, soon growing still just seconds later.

Being envious is a nasty trait for anyone to have. How could a man be envious that the sky had the sun? That the moon had the stars? It was a question nobody could answer. It would only swarm around one’s mind until the day they took their last breath.

Stupid decisions come with stupid outcomes. Don’t think about it.

Does a heart realize how broken it is right away, or was there a waiting period? The sound of waves was just a mere distraction from heartbreak. Brown eyes once again blinked rapidly to avoid the onslaught of begging tears. A head shake, then a sigh.

End of the bottle, end of the road road. A path he walked down, but with every turn, he found it led to a steep drop to death. With a flick, the glass bottle flew almost in slow motion to the wet rocks below. Brown eyes watched closely as it bounced off one rock, then two, and landed. Unbroken and surviving.

How could one be envious that an object found a steady spot to land while the man with a beating heart felt like he was falling? Perfectly intact while his own beating heart was broken beyond repair. Large, shaky hands found a tired face to cover. Count to ten, and everything will be okay.

Blink the tears away. Don’t be a fool.

The heart knew what was happening. It was breaking while beating a steady and healthy beat. How does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt so much? He knew. But a brain so smart was attempting to save a heart from cracking anymore.

How many times does a heart have to beat to know when it will be okay? How many gasps of air are needed to feel like one is breathing properly?

Hell felt like a place on earth. Slowly waiting for one to accept that there was never a bright side. And god, was it ugly. An inescapable place. A suffering.

Accept what happened and move on. Living in the past will not allow you to move on.

Move on. It's such an easy thing to think about, but when one is faced with the task, it’s simply complicated. A task often unbearable and unbeaten. But time still ticked an ugly and nasty beat that he had wished would pause for a moment and allow him to take a break. How could he move on when it came down to feeling like the past was all he had?

A past with good memories. Memories that brought ease and not pain. An ear that would listen to a story that happened during the night was now an ear that would listen to another.

Breaks don’t happen. Learn to keep going.

But heartbreaks happen. Months, no, a year, and it was still the same. A constant cycle of rinse and repeat. Throw a smile, walk proudly, and don’t let them know. Smile. If they see, they’ll show pity, and pity is for the weak.

Love was always such a nasty thing. A pain that one could think about for a lifetime. That he would think about for a lifetime. Hands found warmth in the pockets of leather jackets in attempts to find something but came back with nothing. Not even enough money for another bottle.

Give yourself time. Take it slow. It will be okay.

A scoff, then a sarcastic laugh. Slow was never enough. Slow can never be enough. Taking it slowly only meant he would learn what it meant to break. Three times, only to be met with a wave. What went wrong? What did he do wrong? Why was he such a fool?

Don’t think about it. You’re damaging your heart more.

A blink, then eyelids decided to remain shut. For a mind not to think about hurting a heart more was a task in itself. A life that was meant to only experience nothing more, but pain and loss were what he would have to accept for himself.

His heart was aching, begging for anything, hoping to take the pain away. A shaky, pathetic breath came from him. A life where he could be happy was nowhere to be seen. Not even in one’s wildest dreams. He fucking hated having to pretend to be happy.

Your heart is in shambles. It’s broken beyond repair. She hurt you.

He shook his head. No. His mind wouldn’t shut up for even a moment. The growing aggravation was enough to drive a sane man mad. Teeth gritted together in an attempt to suppress an emotional scream. He couldn't bear anyone else hearing that.

A heart fighting with the mind. An ugly one that not even a voice from an angel could calm it down. This was hell. His heart was going through hell.

You hurt her. You didn’t mean to. You watched her leave.

Three times was too much but always felt like it was too little. There are too many chances to ruin something but too few to keep it going. A man so broken was undeserving of love. Love was never meant for someone like him.

Brown eyes watched as the waves soon grew closer to the water’s edge, of how the jealousy was real. He could leave. Never turn back. But why would he? Home was here. Home was where she could possibly return.

It’s okay. You’ll be okay. I promise.

Promise. Every person has heard that seven-letter word throughout their lives—more times than they can count. He’s heard it. It’s hard to believe anything would be okay when an outsider could see that his life was nothing more than a mess that could never be fixed.

Getting lost in a trance, his mind didn’t even realize the sun finally met the sky for a kiss goodbye. Stars now out, wishing everyone had a good day while the sun had said its goodbye no less than ten minutes ago.

Brown eyes were met with darkness, and eyelids greeted someone whenever they shut for more than a second. For a moment, silence was all that could be enjoyed. His heart was silent and steadily beating as his brain finally stopped arguing with his heart.

You can’t hide from your demons forever. It will be fine.

He couldn’t remember the walk to his car or the long drive back to the dorms. He knew the buzz from the alcohol had long since worn off with the sun's departure. All he knew was that he stood there almost awkwardly. How could one feel so unwelcome in a home that was their own?

“Changkyun.” He didn’t realize his eyes were closed momentarily, not even when he had been silently counting to ten to calm his unknown nerves. Eyes now opened in shock, they met with old but familiar eyes.

Count to ten if anything gets worse. You can't always hide from your demons, Changkyun.

His mouth opened and then shut. How does one feel like they’re suffering while the steady flow of oxygen flows through so easily without missing a single beat?

How could he feel so damn pathetic under their gaze? Why did he come inside? Why was he hyperventilating? And why did it feel like the world was against him constantly?

“I–” A stumbling idiot. His breath caught in his throat as he watched their worried eyes. Even as the days turned to months and the months finally met the year, he grew to hate how their eyes never hid the worry. “I’m fine.”

Lying always comes at a cost. You should know this.

“You’re not fine, Changkyun.” Hyunwoo was the first to speak up. Changkyun hated this. He hated the little interventions they threw at him. He was fine. He swears.

“Talk to us. Stop shutting us out.” It was Jooheon who spoke up next. The worry that laced their voices caused him to hate himself. If he wasn’t so addicted to the thing of the past, he wouldn’t be the cause of all their worries. He wouldn’t be the cause of all the tension and finger-pointing he knew they did behind his back.

“I just want to be alone.” His body was on autopilot. Quick strides took him to his room, where the door was locked, and the voices outside calling his name were blocked out. His phone was in his hands in seconds, and once again, on autopilot, he found himself searching for her name on Instagram. Thankful she hadn't blocked him.

The more you break your heart, the harder it is to repair it. Stop doing this to yourself.

He knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong to ignore the pleas of the other members, but he also knew it was wrong to not give his heart a break. Shaky hands clicked on the first picture that popped up on her page. A beautiful diamond ring, her nails done to perfection, and a caption that eagerly said, “I said yes! I can’t wait to take your last name.”

And god did that fucking hurt.

Tears rushed to brim his eyes like a broken dam. His usual choked sob that he tried to silence wouldn’t fall for the command this time. It bounced off the four walls, back into his ears, and under the door's crack.

You’re breaking your own heart. You can be happy with someone else. Stop doing this to yourself.

He was a fool. How many times must he beat himself up and apologize for her to know he’s being honest? Must he rip his heart out to show her how broken it is? Must he break down in front of an audience and sing her name out just to get her back?

He hated this unknown man. He hated how his thoughts were quick to act and go against him. He shouldn’t be in her life. He was an imposter. Unimportant to the story, to their story.

He treats her well, I bet. Holds her tight at night. He surely wouldn’t do what you did.

“Stop it.” Changkyun’s choked-out sob was louder than before. “Stop working against me. Please.”

His pleas fell on deaf ears. He knew his heart was in a war with his brain. One would surely fall victim to either love or hate eventually.

Stop making stupid decisions you know your heart won’t be able to repair. Don’t call her.

He knew his heart was already a broken vessel that couldn’t be repaired anymore. Shaky fingers and blurred eyes quickly dialed the number the other members kept deleting.

One ring turned into two, two into three, then, “Hello?”

He knew this was wrong. It was so fucking wrong. It was wrong to call, and it was unfair she picked up.

“Changkyun?”

His world stopped, and his breath caught in his throat as he heard her say his name oh so softly. The tears couldn’t be stopped. He was choking on the sob that couldn’t previously escape, and he worried it would scare her off.

What was he to say? His previous attempts at begging her to come back always quickly fell on deaf ears. How could he do this to himself? Why would he do this to himself?

Because you’re a fool in love, Changkyun.

#kvanity #monsta x drabble #monsta x imagines #monsta x x reader #monsta x fanfic #changkyun imagine #changkyun angst #monsta x angst

[hyunchksoul]

➷Craving You➷

hey guys, I am back with another Shownu writing. He is finally out and I'm so so so happy!!

Hope you guys like this and lemme know what you think about it. <3

---------------------------------------------------

Summary: Shownu is back from his military service and you both had been missing each other a bit too much and things start to heat up between you both as soon as the boys leave your shared apartment.

Warning: Unprotected sex, breeding, fingering (receiving).

Pairing: Shownu x Female Reader

Genre: smut

---------------------------------------------------

The wait was finally over, Shownu was finally gonna be out of the barracks and in your arms. You and the rest of the boys were waiting for him outside the military center. You brought him flowers and some of his favorite chocolates.

After standing there for what felt like an hour, you saw his figure from far walking towards the gates. And woah, he looked even bigger than before. The members started cheering for him and you laughed at their enthusiasm. You got a bit teary eyed as he finally made it out of the center.

The members ran towards him and jumped on him. They all shared a big group hug and were hopping like kids.

When Shownu finally made it out of the hug, he walked towards you. His heart was pounding out of his chest the moment he saw your face.

"Hi Y/N", he said shyly

You laughed at his shy and formal behaviour and gave him the flowers you got him. He blushed and pulled you into a tight hug. Tears ran down your face as you finally felt his warm body against yours. You ran your hands across his big back and cradled his neck. You missed his big bear hug the most and now that you finally had it, you felt complete.

He let out a relaxed sigh against your neck, wiped your tears and pecked you on your cheeks. The members started teasing you both and made cringey, lovey dovey comments.

You all decided to go to your and shownu's apartment for dinner and drinks. You all celebrated shownu's arrival by dancing and drinking a lot. He was so happy to finally have his people around him and have the best time with them.

The members left your apartment around midnight. You both waved them goodbye and closed the door.

Finally it was just the two of you alone together after a long time.

You made your way to the kitchen to keep the dishes and shownu pulled you by your arms and gave you a desperate kiss. You ran your hands through his hair and he rested his hands on your hips.

He might act shy with you in front of his members but you knew he expressed all of him when it was just the two of you.

He pulled out of the kiss and looked right in your eyes

"I missed you so much Y/N, you have no idea how much I craved you" he said while kissing your soft hands.

You tugged at his shirt and pulled him in for another sloppy kiss. He grabbed the back of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist.

He held onto your firm butt and made his way to your shared bedroom.

He sat himself down on the bed with you on top. You hurriedly stripped him leaving just his boxers on.

You suddenly got off him and escaped to the bathroom. He felt confused and startled and started to walk towards you. You told him to wait for you and gently pushed him down on the bed.

Two minutes felt like forever to Shownu, but as soon as you walked out of the bathroom with a sultry set of lingerie of his favorite color on his mind went wild. You looked absolutely ravishing and he wanted to take you right there and then.

His blood rushed towards his ears turning them hot red. You walked towards him and placed your hands on his chest. You slowly guided him to lay down on the bed as you sat on top of him settling your core to his hardness directly.

He groaned because he had not felt like this in a long time. You bent down to kiss his neck while running your hands across his abs. His body got bulkier than before and you could tell it. You could feel his thighs tightening as your heat rubbed on him continuously. He got harder as each second passed.

He caressed your hair, closed his eyes and took in your scent. Your presence was heaven to him.

You were working your lips on his chest just when Shownu brought his hands to your chest and gave you a light squeeze. The friction of the silk wrapped around your chest made your nipples hard. Shownu circled on them with his fingers and you felt yourself getting wetter.

You moved up to his face and gave him a deep kiss. Shownu was rubbing your back with his hands and stopped at the clasp of your bra. He unclasped it in a second and threw it across the room.

You looked him in the eye and saw nothing but devotion and lust. His wild thoughts took over his mind and he flipped you to the other side of the bed. Now you were under him and he was in control.

He attached his lips to your nipples and you moaned. He snaked his hands down to the waistband of your underwear and slowly inside them. He attached his fingertips to your clit which was throbbing with pleasure. He circled it while leaving hickeys on your neck.

He looked into your eyes when he placed his fingers inside your core. You rolled your eyes in pleasure and whined. He curled them up perfectly and kept abusing your sweet spot.

He kept a stern and proud face as he watched you turn into a mess under him.

After pulling out his fingers he went down to remove your underwear. He looked at your heat, all wet and throbbing with stimulation.

He opened your legs wide and kissed the insides of your thighs and gave a gentle bite as sweet nothings kept falling out of your mouth.

He removed his boxers and threw it away. He saw you resting yourself on your elbows to have a better look at him. He smirked at your desperation and started to pump his already hard and stimulated cock. He kept getting bigger and bigger with each stroke.

Your eyes were hungry as you watched him rub himself. He came closer to your heat and rubbed his tip on your clit, jolts of pleasure ran through your bodies and you lost control of your senses.

He slowly started pushing himself into your core, you let out a squeak. Shownu threw his head back as he relaxed himself inside you. You grabbed his shoulder and pulled him towards you, making his member go inside you deeper than before.

You kissed him hungrily as he started to move his hips back and forth. He started out slow, making you feel every inch of him.

"I need more shownu"

These words made shownu pull himself out of you and ram inside you even harder.

You let out a loud moan and saw him move in and out faster.

He had no thoughts on his mind, he was pushing himself inside you senselessly, his only aim was to pleasure you.

You held onto his shoulders for your life. Your hands were roaming around his body then finally stopped at his waist. You were digging your nails in his body out of pleasure. Shownu enjoyed this delicate pain.

You felt your walls pulsing around his cock and knew you could come undone any moment now. You placed your hands on his shoulders, stalling his movements. He got worried, he thought he hurt you.

Instead you just told him to lay down again. He smirked as soon as he understood your motive. He let his body fall onto the bed.

You placed your legs around him and sat on top of him. His hard member running along the folds of your heat. You moaned loudly at this feeling while shownu had his hands on your waist to guide your movements on him.

You grabbed his cock and opened up your folds to let him inside you again. You placed your hands on his chest and slightly rubbed his nipples.

You started to move your hips back and forth on his member slowly making you both feel sensuous feelings. Shownu could not hold back his thoughts and gripped on your waist hard and guided you to move faster.

You were now giving it your all, running out of breath, bouncing up and down, eyes closed, panting and gasping. Shownu took in this beautiful view and brought his body up to you.

You were now chest to chest with shownu. You felt your juices overflow and trickling down to his member. He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly, leaving no space between you.

You could feel your walls tightening again and his member twitch inside you. Shownu grabbed onto your shoulders from behind and guided you to move faster as he came undone. His wave of pleasure took over, he breathed heavily and released inside of you.

After a few seconds you too came undone, walls tightening and sucking in every drop of his release. You bit his neck slightly and he groaned at the feeling. Both your releases crashing together like ocean waves.

You still moved yourself on him to ride out your high, you just could not get enough of him inside you.

Shownu kept you close to his chest as he pulled you down to the bed. You were on top of him and had your face buried in his neck still panting. Shownu had one hand on your back massaging it and other gently caressing your hair.

After calming down your racing heart you got your head up from his neck and pulled yourself out of him. You both groaned at the loss of contact and you slumped on the bed beside him and he turned himself, facing you.

You looked at each other and shownu tucked your sweaty hair behind your ears. Rested his warm hand on your cheek and gave you a deep kiss. You could feel his satisfied emotions in the kiss.

He pulled away and rested his hands on your waist, wandering his tips around, slightly tickling you.

"Everyday felt empty without you by my side Y/N. I missed you so much and I am so happy to be with you again. I love you so much Y/N"

You smiled hard at his words and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too Hyunwoo"

Shownu spooned you and you both drifted off to sleep,

---------------------------------------------------

Please share and interact with this and lemme know how you guys liked it <3

stay safe and happy y'all <3

#changkyun #monsta x #monsta x drabble #monsta x imagines #monsta x fluff #monsta x reader #monsta x scenarios #monsta x angst #changkyun x you #changkyun drabble #changkyun imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun smut #changkyun angst #changkyun fluff #monsta x reactions #monsta x imagine #monsta x im changkyun #im reader #shownu #shownu smut #jooheon #minhyuk #kihyun #monsta x scenario #hyungwon #shownu scenario #shownu imagine #shownu x reader #shownu fluff

[laysdimplesareillegal]

Character Development Masterlist

So I'm gonna start putting this out and I'm kinda excited, mostly scared because I haven't written in a long while. If you know anything about my blog/me I really like angst and it's the only thing I'm good at writing haha.

This story will include lots of delusion (my favorite!!!) and will be a little slow going but hopefully I can put it out quick so y'all don't get bored. So far there is kidnapping (of course) alluding to drugs, guns, panic attacks, and just being generally uncomfortable with his actions, and so far basically nothing is consensual (I don't write smut AGAIN THERE WILL BE NO SMUT).

Pairing: Monsta X Changkyun x Reader

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnapping, general delusion, angst,

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6: Some Days in the Life

#changkyun #monsta x #im changkyun #monbebe #monsta x angst #yandere monsta x #i.m #changkyunnie #changkyun thinks it's fluff #mc thinks it's horror

[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (IV)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together.

But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC

Word Count - 9.9K

Warnings - guns, mild violence, mentions of blood, death, mild exhibitionism but not really lol I don't know how else to explain it

Previous chapter

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone.

She blinked at the plain concrete, brows slowly pulling into a frown. That can't be right. She would never remove them....

The bed under her was a lot softer too. The room felt warmer than usual, there was a strange smell of damp wood and lilies, and the crakling of a fire was the only thing audible. Rolling onto her side, Na bi raised her head, looking around, eyes slowly adjusting to the dimness. She could barely see anything except the silhouettes of furniture placed around a room - a room that was definitely much bigger than her apartment......that's when she realised, eyes widening.

She was not home.

Instantly scrambling between the black and grey sheets, she sat up, forehead breaking out into a cold sweat as she frantically looked around in the darkness. Panicking at the lack of visibility, she slipped out of the warmth of the bed, reached for the floor length curtains of the nearby windows and pushed them open, biting back a gasp.

Trees.

Thick and tall and lusciously green trees as far as the eye could see, the vibrant colour eventually blending into black shadows. Birds sat perched on branches, some flying around, circling the bark and then up into the sky. The late afternoon sun struggled to seep between the canopies, barely illuminating the forest floor that was nothing but mud and roots.

She was in the middle of nowhere. She was in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Trying not to let the realisation terrify her, Na bi took a step back and then two, finding herself in the centre of the large bedroom. Her head began to spin as she turned, looking around, eyes falling on all the contents - a king size bed against a stone wall, a fireplace burning away wood, a set of stairs leading up to what seemed like a small loft, a huge mirror beside a small study space, books lining the shelves, couches placed below them and finally, finally, a door. Finding her only way out of here, without thinking twice, Na bi sprinted towards it.

She didn't know what exactly she was expecting on the other side, but for some illogical reason, it was not a house. To be specific, it was a corridor lined with a glass railing, opening to the view of an elegant, unfathomably large living space, ominously coloured in shades of black, grey and green.

Surprisingly, Na bi nearly lost herself in the beauty of it all - the way the rugs and couches were arranged, the way it all led into a simple, efficient looking open kitchen, the way the roof was almost two floors tall and high. She stood entranced, till her wandering eyes fell on the floor to ceiling windows that spanned across the space and the view outside - the forest.

Heartbeat picking the pace again, she turned on the heel of her foot and rushed down the stairs, the edge of her long dress dramatically caressing each step. Eyes immediately finding the large oak doors at the far end, she ran towards it, pushing them open with all her might, only to be welcomed by the sight of more trees. Taking one last glace at the house behind her, she submerged herself into the woods, trying to run away as far as possible.

And Na bi ran for what seemed like forever.

She had no idea what she was running from or where she was running to, but for miles, all that was around her were trees, trees and more trees. She tried screaming for help but it only dried her throat up. Her bare feet were now a collage of mud and twigs lodged in her soles, her dress formed a shredded trial behind her as they got ripped by the bushes and her whole body was cold and sore, begging for relief, for an escape. It was only when she could no longer breathe that she finally stopped running, panting as she gripped the sides of her hips, looking up at the barely visible sky, praying.

For what Na bi?

All of a sudden, as though her dormant brain had just woken up, Na bi compelled herself to think about what she was doing. As though her body was stuck in a flight response, she had just been running and running, without so much as trying to figure out why. Ignoring the searing pain in her head, she racked her brains, trying to recall the last of her memories. She remembered going to the grocery store today. She remembered being chased down an alley. She remembered the phone call. She remembered a black van....

Na bi took mindless steps, wandering further into the forest. That black van, where had she seen that before? Why did it seem so familiar?

She didn't ponder over it for long - she couldn’t when her ears caught the sound of water. Desperate for hydration, she ran in its direction, pushing her way through the forest floor, feeling the mud get looser beneath her feet and the air get cooler, stronger. As she made her way out of the last of the branches, her feet landed in the soft golden-white sand of the beach, eyes falling on the gentle waves going to and fro from the shore.

Na bi felt every cell of her body freeze. It was a beach.

She was standing right in the middle of a beach that stretched endlessly on either sides, curving away at the corners. She was standing right in front of the sea coming up to lick the sand one minute and going back to meet the sky the next. She was standing right in the middle of possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen - the sun slowly making its way across the pink sky to sink into the waters for night. It was all so mesemering and stunning except..... Seoul didn't have a beach.

It was at that moment that she felt her head spin uncontrollably and before she knew it, she was one with the softness of the sand. Staring at the clear blue sky, hair fanning out behind her, dress blending into the golden sand, her eyes slowly found the darkness she was running away from.

When Na bi's eyes fluttered open, the stars stuck on her ceiling were gone. Again.

She stared at it, wondering if she was stuck in some strange time loop - she had the same pain in her head, felt the same softness of the bed, saw the same greyness in the ceiling. But one thing was different this time - this time she smelt whiskey and roses.

Raising herself on her elbows, she blinked her heavy eyes open, which didn't have to struggle to adjust, not with the all lamps turned on. The curtains were open as she had left them, except it was pitch black outside, like night had finally fallen. Pushing the thick duvet off her, she swung her legs off the bed, wincing in pain as they touched the wooden floors. She looked down at her feet to see they were no longer covered in mud and sand but had white bandages wrapped around, the execution of which was honestly-

"Mediocre at best, I know."

Na bi turned at his voice, eyes falling on his broad back as he sat crouched by the fireplace, poking the firewood ambers. His presence didn't surprise her. The whiskey and rose scent had already told her he was here.

"It can be better." She muttered as he stood, brushing the ash off his hands and tucking them in his pocket as he turned towards her.

"Ms. Baek."

"Changkyun."

She breathed in the sight of him yet again.

He was dressed in a black shirt, black slacks, matching the ambience of the room. His hair was falling down into his eyes like he needed a little trim, his face beautiful as ever. Na bi gripped the sheets hard, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. He walked up to the bed, getting on a knee before her, picking up her foot as he studied it, his fingers softly running across the sole. He then reached for a box she hadn't noticed by the wall and slid it onto her lap, opening it to reveal a pair of white sneakers.

"For whenever you wish to leave."

Na bi looked down at the new shoes that seemed to be exactly her size.

"How did I even get here?" She glanced at him who seemed to be inspecting the other tiny cuts and bruises she sustained on her arms, thanks to the multiple twigs and thorns in her way. "Where am I?"

"In my house."

Na bi blinked at him, shocked. "Y-your house? This is your house?? This is where you live??"

"Yes, yes and yes." He answered, counting diligently, as he got up and walked to the shelves.

"It's...." Na bi followed him, stopping at the centre of the room, taking it all in once again. Earlier she had missed the many details of the room - the tiny gold accents hidden everywhere, the splashes of green amidst the heavy tones of black and grey, the random placement of tiny tables and books and empty vases here and there. She didn't realise how minimal yet luxurious the whole place looked, strangely homely yet forbidding. Na bi was never really a fan of dark colors but somehow, she wasn't so repelled by the sight around her. "It's so beautiful."

"Thank you." Walking up to her, Changkyun held out an ointment, looking pointedly at her wounds. "Apply this twice everyday to avoid scarring. My doctor strongly recommends it."

Na bi took it, turning the tube in her fingers, recognising the medicine approvingly before raising her eyebrows. "You have a doctor who's not me?"

He chuckled, cocking his head. "I need someone who'll be by my side till the end. You're not going to, are you?"

Na bi felt her heartbeat in her ears. His question seemed to holder a greater depth than he meant, yet his eyes as usual, remained unreadable. But she had her answer. Stepping closer to him, she grabbed fistfuls of the fabric of his shirt on either sides of his waist, earning a curious look, but he didn't stop her.

She pulled the tuck out of his pants, dragging the shirt up his body, ignoring his sculpted abs as she moved closer to him, breaths mingling in the loud silence, gaze fixed on each other. When she finally tore her eyes away, she looked over his shoulder at the mirror behind him, catching sight of the knife wound she had once tried to heal. It looked better, but definitely not at its best.

"You're not going to make it till the end without someone like me." She pulled back, hands slowly letting the fabric go, eyes meeting his again. "I would've done a much better job."

"I don't doubt that." He replied, stepping away, but not taking his eyes off.

"Is that why I'm here?"

He shook his head, amused. "You sustained a mild concussion earlier today Ms. Baek. Clearly, its affecting your otherwise impeccable analytical abilities."  He smoothened the fabric of his shirt slowly. "Let's start over. What is the last thing you remember? Before you got here this afetrnoon?"

Na bi stared at the dark wooden flooring, trying to recollect the scene once again.

"I was coming back from the grocery store when I had this strange gut feeling that I was being followed. I looked around and there was no one, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I started walking faster, then I noticed footsteps getting louder behind me so I began running and suddenly about 5 to 6 men appeared, chasing me down the alley. I tried to call the 112 for help and I was around a corner when a black van stopped right before me and pulled me in...." Na bi trailed off finally piecing it together. Of course. "Wonho. It was Wonho's van." She sighed, rubbing the spot on her head that she had knocked against the door when she was forced in. "So I've been kidnapped yet again."

Changkyun let out a small laugh, walking away from her to the table, pouring a glass of water. "You've been rescued yet again Ms. Baek."

Na bi blinked. "From whom?"

"I'm guessing the same people who attacked me." He walked back, handing her the glass. "It seems you too have been compromised."

"But.... but I thought it was all over?" She took the glass from him, frowning hard. "I thought they didn't need me anymore since they already found you."

"Figured me, yes. Found me? No." He glanced at the darkness outside the windows, turning to it. "Perhaps they were trying to get a hold of you so they could bait me into coming out of hiding."

"You think they wanted to get to you through me?" She scoffed, taking a sip. "Why? What could I possibly mean to you?"

"I believe they've identified you as someone I care about."

Na bi looked at Changkyun in the reflection of the windows only to find him already looking at her. Someone he cared about.

She cleared her throat, looking away. "So you're telling me they might know who I am, where I live, all of it?"

He hummed in response, nodding.

Na bi cursed under her breath, downing the last of the water. "So what do I do now? How am I supposed to go back home? That place isn’t safe for me anymore."

"I can have more men stationed around for your safety." Changkyun offered, taking the empty glass from her. "They can guard your house, even accompany you when needed-"

"I've seen what these people are capable of doing Changkyun, to both you and your men." Na bi placed herself between him and his reflection. "I may not be particularly afraid of dying but I sure as hell am not willing to lose my life over something this insignificant to me. There has to be a better option."

She could see the way his jaw tightened, hand gripping the empty glass tight.

"The safest place for you now is probably right here, in my house but I can't possibly ask you to stay."

Na bi swallowed the phantom lump in her throat. "Why?"

"Ms. Baek, my house is no better than a prison, if you can't already tell." He looked over her shoulder pointedly. "There's no life here - it's quiet and dark and lonely. Don't be fooled by the magnificence of the things around you. This place can, quite literally, be hell."

Na bi stared at him, once again failing to read his expression. Hell?

"But you live here."

He nodded.

"Then I can too."

"Despite seeing what's out there?" His head inclined curiously. "That was just the beginning-"

"Doesn't matter what's out there or in here." Na bi curled her hands into tight fists. "Right now all I know is that if I want to be safe, this is my best choice, you're my best choice. I can't trust anyone else."

"Can you trust me?" He smiled at her cockily. "I thought you had no reason to."

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest. She didn't have a reason. Not a single one.

"I'll..... take my chances." She drawled slowly, looking at him side eyed. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."

"Then I wouldn't have offered."

"Right." Na bi let out a deep breath, looking around. "So I guess..... I guess I'll be staying here then, till you sort things out."

Changkyun gave a single nod.

"I'll need some of my things though..."

"Whatever you need will be arranged."

"And uh... should I stay here? In this room or?"

"If its to your liking." He slipped his free hand into his pocket. "There's another guest room down the corridor if you're not comfortable here."

"No no, I think I'm fine. I don't mind...."

She trailed off into a loud silence. A few days ago, she didn't know if she would ever see him again and now suddenly, she was living with him, in his house? Oddly, it was all aligning too well, too easily.

As she tried to navigate through the silence, she watched him, also at a loss of words. What was going on in his head?

"I have to go Ms. Baek. I'm-"

"Y- you're going?" Na bi stuttered. "Oh I....I just wanted to ask if-"

"In due time." He promised, walking back to the door. "You need rest and I have business to attend to."

"I know, but I was just wondering if....." She took hurried steps towards him, halting abruptly as she caught her reflection in the mirror, her question drying up in her throat. That floor length, flowery dress was most definitely not her style. Or hers. "Did you.... did you change my clothes?"

Changkyun smiled at her, amused. "There's a lot you're yet to learn about the this place Ms. Baek." He raised the empty glass at her mimicking a toast. "Welcome to Asphodel."

And with that he shut the door behind him and disappeared.

Na bi shut her eyes as the warm water of the shower ran down her body, taking away all the mud, sweat and tears.

She was crying.

The moment she stepped into the shower, unwarranted, tears just began flowing down her cheeks. She wasn't particularly upset or sad or hurt by anything, just.... tired. Tired of it all. Tired of always running, tired of never being allowed to stop, tired of never being able to take a breath in peace. Everything had barely just fallen into place and she was already exhausted.

Scrubbing a very sweetly scented soap down her body, she cleaned herself, wondering if it will truly wash away all that was dirty about her. She didn't like anything about the way things had turned out. She didn't like Changkyun walking back into her life again. She didn't like having to stay in his house. She didn't like any part of what she was about to do. But with a mask on her face, she pushed through it, knowing why it was necessary to.

When she opened her eyes, everything around her spun again and her empty stomach attempted to throw up nothing. She needed to get over this concussion as soon as possible so she could function at her best again. She needed to get it together.

Wrapping a towel around her body, she vigorously rubbed another one into her wet hair, catching sight of her reflection in the large mirror above the sink. She looked worse now that she was cleaner - the dark circles stood out more, her eyes were swollen and empty, cheeks sinking into her face. Leaning forward onto the ledge of the sink she stared at herself, whispering.

"Get it together Na bi. You need to get it together."

Knowing she had no other clothes in this house, she settled on wearing the same long dress again, wondering who's it was. If she wasn't wrong, she hadn't woken up in this dress the first time. She was definitely wearing something red - she remembered catching sight of it in the reflections of the windows and in the pieces that lay torn on the forest floor. This dress didn't have a single rip on it, it wasn't the same.

The walk in closet beside the bathroom wasn't the same either. When Na bi went past it about half an hour ago, she was certain it was empty but looking at it now, her jaw dropped. Every shelf was full. There were dresses, pants, blouses, all kinds of footwear, bags, accessories, and in the drawers, even neatly folded innerwear. That wasn't even the surprising part - it was the fact that nearly everything in here was blue. There were a hundred different shades of it splayed before her, some light, some dark, some patterned, but all of them were most definitely blue. He still remembered.

Na bi felt her lips involuntarily curl into a small smile as she walked in slowly, getting a closer look of it all. It wasn't all her style and every piece looked new, like the kind who's price tag carried a number way too big. On the ottomon, there were more things laid out for her use - a neatly folded nightgown, a fresh set of white bandages, and a bottle of shea butter body lotion, the only scent she ever used. He....noticed?

Her smile slipped away from her as his words rang in her ears. I believe they've identified you as someone I care about. Everything in this space was a testament of that. But why on earth did he care about her? How did he manage to arrange for whatever she needed and so much more? Why did he even bother?

Ignoring the bandages and lotion, she grabbed the nightgown and changed into it, taking one last look at herself in the floor length mirror, sighing, reminding herself yet again.

"Get yourself together Na bi."

When she walked down the stairs of the loft, back into the room, the smell made her insides turn ravenously. On the table was a plate of hot kimchi rice, the scent so alluring, that the moment she laid her eyes on it, she rushed to devour it, not caring for the way it burned her mouth. Breathing in relief as life flooded back into her, she sank onto the couch nearby, chomping away on the unbelievably delicious meal. Glancing at the clock, she realised this was her first meal in over 24 hours - her day had been a whirlwind for a while now.

Everything was supposed to end 10 days ago. Changkyun was gone, the threat on her life was gone, the whole fiasco was over. All that she was left to deal with was her idiotic month long suspension.

At first Na bi was furious about it - it was unfair, illogical and no one was even willing to listen to her side of the story. But eventually, she got around it - afterall, she was finally getting a break. She had the time to spend on herself, to catch up on those shows she stopped watching years ago, to make her home a more habitable place, perhaps even shift to a nicer neighbourhood, closer to the hospital. She could now try to learn making something other than the damn kimbap, she could peacefully listen to her favourite artists, she could maybe date once again.

Na bi's throat tightened as she thought of Mingyu. Following her suspension, he had been the sweetest person possible, constantly checking up on her, making sure she was doing fine, even cheering her up with a handmade pretty bracelet of butterflies that was now missing from her hand. Na bi felt like she was finally finding solace in a decent, appropriate person, even looking forward to going out with him, curious to learn more about him. It was on her fourth date with him that things changed. Forever and for good.

They had gone to his favourite pizza place just the day before for what he called the best pizza in the world. Na bi had to agree, it was truly better than any pizza she had before. In fact, it was so good and she had focused on gobbling it down so fast, she barely remembered the conversation he was trying to have with her. Now they were out at her favourite restaurant, an Indian place in the middle of the city and as usual, the food was absolutely delicious.

Na bi wasn't a huge fan of cocktails, and considering they had quite a lot of beer just the day before, she straight up refused the drink Mingyu ordered for them. He insisted, asking her to just try it once and to her surprise, it wasn't too bad. In fact, it was nice enough for her to finish a whole glass in one gulp, making her head immediately spin. As she tried to pull herself together and stared at Mingyu who turned to order another glass..... everything clicked into place. Everything finally made sense.

Mingyu. Police officer Kim Mingyu. The seemingly sweet, innocent Kim Mingyu who was handing her another drink. A drink that tasted the same the night she first met him, the night she first went out with him, and every night he insisted she drink with him.

Third time is fate Dr. Baek.

"Mingyu."

He looked at her, eyes innocently big, features molded in question.

"We need to talk."

"Yeah sure, is something wrong? Are you-"

"Not here." She got up, nearly toppling her chair as she began walking away. Mingyu looked confused till he saw her head towards the washrooms, his expression changing as he followed. Hesitating, he stepped into the ladies room where she had disappeared into.

"Na bi, I shouldn't-"

He choked to a stop as his eyes fell on her standing right in the middle, sliding her thong down her legs from underneath her dress. Ignoring his absolutely stunned expression, she walked past him, hanging it on the handle of the door as a very evident symbol of what was about to happen inside and shut it. Mingyu watched as she walked back, softly brushing against his shoulder and slid onto the granite counter of the sink, beckoning him closer. Mingyu took a wavering step towards her.

"You wanna do it here?......"

His words drowned out as she pulled him by the collar, smashing her lips onto his, making him groan against it. At first he didn't respond, holding himself back from causing a scene in a very inappropriate place but when she softly bit his lower lip, Mingyu couldn't stop himself anymore. Running his hands up her thighs under the dress, he gripped them hard, pulling her closer, right against his chest, wrapping her legs against his waist as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

They had kissed after their dates, in the car, on the streets but it was nothing like this. She hadn't felt him like this since that night in the bar. The thought of their first meeting twisted something inside her guts. How did she not realise? There was no such thing as a coincidence, eveything happened for a reason.

Moaning against her skin, Mingyu moved down her jaw, latching himself against her neck. Na bi let her hands wander down his chest, trailing them to his back, finally, finally getting hold of what she wanted.

The look on Mingyu's face was of pure betrayal when he stepped back realising what had happened - when his eyes fell on the gun in her hands, the one she just pulled out of his holster. Na bi looked at it before looking up at him, face looking equally betrayed.

"Na bi, that's dangerous. It could-"

"I'm not an idiot Mingyu, I know what a gun does." She caressed it carefully before raising it, pointing right at his chest, making him flinch. "I, however, don't know what you do, which makes you more dangerous."

Mingyu frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"I was a fool to not see beyond your sweet little boy act." She cocked her head at him. "You've been drugging me."

His Adams apple shifted as a drop of sweat rolled down his neck.

"That's not true."

"I know my tolerance Mingyu. I know what alcohol does to me, I know how much I can handle. Yet every time I had a drink with you, things just did not go right. I had less control over myself, my actions were more impulsive," She recalled that night she kissed Changkyun - it was the first night she met Mingyu. "I thought I was losing it. Turns out its been you all along."

Mingyu exhaled, defeated. "I can explain-"

"You can explain drugging me?" She looked at him incredulously. All this while she had only suspected but his attempt to clarify confirmed it. "Mingyu, aren't you a cop? How could you-"

"I'm not."

Na bi felt fear grip her throat. Mingyu ran his hands through his hair, kicking wall behind him frustrated, making her flinch and grip the gun in her hand tighter.

"But you came to the ER that day. You were wearing a uniform....."

"I am a cop, but not really. I....." He looked at the gun still pointed to him and pulled out a badge from his pocket. "I'm a member of the NIS, National Intelligence Service of Korea and I've been working undercover as a cop because I'm on a mission. A mission to get Seoul's infamous, or rather I should say, barely known mastermind," He walked up to her, eyes surprisingly narrowing in accusation. "I.M."

If Na bi wasn't already sitting, she was certain she would have felt the ground slip beneath her feet. Changkyun? Mingyu was looking for Chankgyun. Through her.

"Who-"

"You can drop the act Na bi, I'm aware that you know him." He leaned closer. "I know a lot more than you think."

Na bi stared at him, speechless.

"I was hoping everyone was wrong. I was hoping that you were not one of them. I really hoped...." Mingyu stared at the gun in her hands. "Perhaps I was wrong."

"What do you mean?" Na bi felt her ears turn hot, as panic rose in her and she finally lowered the weapon. "You think.... you think I'm with him?"

"You did side with a criminal-"

"I did not side with anyone!"

"Did you not let his men escape from the hospital?"

"No! God, no, I had nothing to do with that-"

"Did you not let him hide in your house?" Na bi's mouth hung open, unable to say anything. "Did you not let him safely leave from there?"

"You're reading everything wrong." She slid off the surface, when Mingyu moved away from, like her inability to give any answer had given him all his answers. "It's not like that-"

"Did he or not stay in your house?"

"He was injured. He came to me bleeding, I gave him a few stitches." She looked at him desperately. "I'm a doctor Mingyu, I just did my job-"

"Why didn't you call the cops?"

That was a question many people had asked her. Changkyun, Seokmin, she herself and now Mingyu. Every time she didn't really have a valid answer.

"He was right there, he would know!" She justified, covering up her actions. "My life would be in danger. I'm sorry I wasn't able to think beyond myself-"

"Is that the only reason?" Mingyu neared her, making her take a scared step back. "Not because you're working for him?"

"No!" Na bi looked at him incredulously. "Of course not. Why would you even-"

"We found bullets in your house Na bi." He clenched his jaw. "In the kitchen drawer. There were bullets that belong to the make of a gun that, forget legal, is not even found in this country-"

"You searched my house? How could you-"

"You were helping a criminal!" Mingyu raised his voice, the sharp sound of it nothing like she had ever heard before. "You chose to protect him, a man who's responsible for what happened to your friend. You chose to-"

"My friend?" Na bi's eyes widened. "You... you know about Ana?"

Mingyu leaned against the door of the stall behind him. "Ana was the reason it all started."

He took a shaky breath, taking his phone out, scrolling through it, before holding it up. "She's dead."

The moment her eyes fell on the image, Na bi instantly felt everything in her stomach violently turn. It was her. It was Ana lying on the ground, lifeless, blood all around, her wrists slit. Both of them.

Na bi leaned against the wall behind, to stop her knees from giving away.

"When....when did that happen?" Her voice barely left her. "What happened?"

"The day after our second date." Mingyu recalled. My men have found lead on Ana. "It was I.M."

"No." Na bi whispered. I will do what I can. "How can it be him, he promised-"

"And he's the epitome of goodness so of course he'd stand by it, right?" Mingyu looked at her scoffing. "You see that, the slits on both her wrists? I'm sure you're not unfamiliar with that in the ER. That's his signature, Na bi. That's how he kills, by letting his prey slowly bleed to death. That's how Tartarus functions."

Na bi frowned, confused and overwhelmed. "What's Tartarus?"

Mingyu raised an eyebrow. "You don't know Tartarus?"

Na bi swallowed the bile rising in her throat again, feeling anger course through her veins. "For the last fucking time, I don't know a damn thing. I don't know anything because I have no part to play in any of this. Why won't you believe me?"

Mingyu stared at her in thought for a bit before he continued. "Tartarus is I.M's secret organisation, made of criminals, assassin's, fighters and many others. They wreck havoc in the city to get what they want and if they don't, then they kill, using their signature move to send a message." Mingyu sighed, "Tartarus used to be run by the Blackjack before he was taken down in the WipeOut. We assumed after his death the organisation would have crumbled but it seems to have shifted to a new leader and is operating more ruthlessly and more efficiently from the shadows." Mingyu stared at himself in the mirror, his voice strained with anger. "They've been showing us hell for years now and we barely know anything about them - who I.M is, how to identify the people working for him, where they operate from, what-"

"Ana knew." Na bi whispered softly. "Ana knew who he is. She knew where to find him."

Mingyu frowned at her. "How would Ana know?"

"I don't know. He doesn't either. He said he wanted to find her so he could ask her himself. He said he had a lead on her location that night but...."

"Perhaps he's gotten the answers he wanted" Mingyu mulled. "and then got rid of her, now that she's of no use-"

"Don't talk about her like that-"

"You're mad at me? What about the man who actually-"

"I know!" Na bi slammed the granite. A violent desire to claw out her own skin ran through her body. She saved a murderer. If she hadn't perhaps Ana would still be alive. Perhaps she would've been okay. It was all her fault.

"How did you...." She looked up at the man before her. "I need you to start from the beginning Mingyu. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Minyu held out his hand slowly. "Give me the gun and we'll talk."

She looked at him disbelief. "You really think I'm with him?"

"I don't, I want to believe you're innocent because my gut says so. I've been waiting to hear your side of the story, I promise but, " He sighs. ".... please, let's just put the gun aside."

Na bi shook her head. "I've had enough placing blind trust in people. The gun stays with me. Either you talk or I use it." She raised it, pointing at his chest once more. "And don't doubt it, I know how to."

Mingyu stayed silent, staring at her like he was weighing his odds.

"A few weeks ago, a missing report for Ana was filed at a local police station." He started. "When the cops investigated, they felt her disappearance was suspicious so they sent the case to us. Most cases that disappear for too long tend to be linked to I.M and usually, we either find them dead or our investigation reaches a dead end. As usual, without much hope, we began investigating on our own, following her trail when one day, surveillance noticed a woman broke into her house." Mingyu looked at her pointedly. "You."

Na bi frowned at him. "Those people in her house that day were....you guys?"

Mingyu nodded. "Local police. We had them keep the house under observation, as a part of protocol. Usually it doesn't lead to anything significant but that day, we saw you. More suspiciously, as we tried to go after you, you were picked up and rescued in a flash, making us wonder how you might be involved in all this."

Stupid Wonho and his stupid black van.

"We found your fingerprints on the closet and managed to identify you on our database. We wanted to get a hold of you first without making a legal scene, just to verify facts before taking any action but you were guarded 24/7. There were people who always had their eye on you, who were always looking out for you, it was nearly impossible. We couldn't approach you as investigators and that's why I met you in the bar."

Mingyu looked at her guiltily.

"There's a serum being developed by the R&D team at the NIS. It's still in its trial stage but it supposedly has the ability to selectively depress the nervous system, allowing people to lower their inhibitions and be more...." Mingyu swallowed, speaking faster. "...willing to speak, willing to tell the truth. We wanted to extract information from you with that but that night, you ran away."

Na bi recalled the events that followed their first meeting. She had shot a man. She had barged into Changkyun's hideout. She had thrown herself at him like he was all she wanted. God.

"The next day the ER escape incident happened and our suspicions that you were tied with I.M were confirmed." Na bi opened her mouth in protest but Mingyu continued. "I know you said you have nothing to do with it but there were too many things pointing at you. We also knew that he was out there somewhere, unguarded and perhaps injured in the same fight as his men but the very next night, we received intel that he had gone back into hiding. That was on the night of our second date where I gave you the serum again. The night you tested my knowledge about the mafia. The night you didn't let me in your house."

Na bi shook her head, sighing in defeat. Everything was perfectly fitting a very, very inaccurate picture.

"Since that day, we established that you were one of his people and that we probably couldn't get any information from you directly. The plan was that I would continue to pursue you and given your suspension, we'd have both time and a sympathy factor to get closer and I would be able to find out more about I.M but here we are...."

"How convenient for you, that my suspension would align so well...." Mingyus face continued to look guilty and Na bi felt her ears grow hot. "You had me suspended."

"It was my team leaders doing." He confessed immediately. "I swear, I didn't know that was the plan...."

Na bi felt a pure, unadulterated desire to put a bullet through him and everyone who had walked into her life the last few weeks. She had become a joke, a toy for everyone to play around with, to use as they wished. If there was no knocking on the door, her anger would have perhaps started her mass elimination with Mingyu.

"Five minutes!"

"Miss, this is not allowed-"

Na bi walked up to Mingyu, and harshly stepped on his foot, her heel bruising the middle of his foot and covered his mouth, turning his loud shrieks of pain into muffled groans. The person on the other side of the door instantly shut up.

"Five. minutes." She repeated as Mingyu looked at her, hurting. She didn't feel sorry. It was his stupid low inhibition, truth telling serums fault.

"Now," She removed her hand and stood back, as he straightened himself, wincing. "Let me tell you the truth."

And Na bi told him everything. Her accidental kidnapping, her being set free, her being stalked, revisiting Changkyun, him coming home, him leaving to find Ana. Everything. Everything except his name. That sounded like venom in her mouth, she couldn't bring herself to even say it.

"That can't be right." Thankfully, Mingyu spoke only after she was done. "He kidnapped you accidentally, then let you go. You went to Ana's house and he let you go. You revisited him at his hide out and he still let you go? He even came to you when he was in danger? For your help?"

"I told you, he was using me as bait so I was his safest choice. And apparently using me has become a very common mode of action these days-"

"Na bi, Tartarus is a massive underground organisation of hundreds of people. They lack humanity, they have no regard for rules, and they are in every inch of the city. Are you telling me a man with all that in his disposal, needed your help?" She blinked at him, lost in thought. "He's one of the most powerful people out there, even if there was a threat to him or he was in danger, trust me, eliminating it is not hard. There's clearly something else he wants...."

Though Na bi had an idea where Mingyu was going with this, she still asked. "What?"

"You." Mingyu stated like it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "All this while we wondered why I.M would choose someone like you to be on his side, now it makes sense. He likes-"

"Stop, stop, that's not possible." That night they were making out, Chankgyun stopped her. Everytime they looked at each other, he never seemed like he wanted more. Everytime she felt the slightest of sparks between them, he would always pull away. Changkyun was definitely not interested in her. "Trust me, I'd know if he felt like that."

"Think about it. Saving you so many times, having his men look out for you, opening up to you, listening to what you say, that's... that's a man who's interested." Mingyu stared at the design on the floor, brain working fast. "His world is different Na bi. Its not as simple as yours or mine. I think he was testing you, seeing if you'd actually be able to fit in his life and you do. Not only did you throw yourself at him-" Na bi winced at the choice of words. "-proving that you too were interested, you also saved his life and you let him escape. You're exactly what he's looking for." Mingyu looked at her, a strange something brewing behind his eyes. "And we have to make use of that."

If Na bi heard the word use another time from anyone's mouth, she swore, she would put a bullet through them.

"You said you're not on I.M's side right? That you were just trying to save yourself and not protect him?" Mingyu looked at her eagerly and she nodded. "Then prove it. Help us. Come on our side and help us take him down-"

"No." Na bi stared at Mingyu like he was insane. "None of this is my business, I was never supposed to be involved in any of this in the first place. I've barely gotten out of all this alive, if he even gets the slightest clue that I might be helping you, he'd have me killed-"

"How about for once," And the next set of word were too harsh for Na bi to even hear. "Just once, you think about someone other than yourself? Do you know how many lives you can save if he's gone-"

"That's not fair." She said softly. "I am in this mess because I cared about Ana. I am in this mess because I cared enough to save a dying man despite knowing he was not a good person. You're taking to me about saving lives? I'm a doctor Mingyu, I do that anyways."

"Then do it for Ana." His eyes looked softer now, almost like they were begging. "Don't you want justice for her? Don't you want to punish those who did that to her?"

Na bi felt her heart thumping in her chest.

"Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you too have feelings for him-"

"What is wrong with you Mingyu-"

"You did admit to being attracted to him-"

"Attraction is temporary, fickle feeling. It's barely something you allow to cloud your judgement. " Na bi looked at him incredulously. "I don't know the man, I don't have any feelings for him, I never can." Disgust rose in her chest at the memory of Ana's lifeless body. "Not with someone like that. Just beacuse I couldn't keep it in my pants on a night that, let me remind you, you drugged me, it doesn't mean-"

"The serum only lowers inhibitions Na bi," Mingyu reminded her. "The choices are still yours."

"It was merely a primal response of a woman to a man." Na bi crossed her arms decisively. "But I am an evolved being Mingyu, I can differentiate between what's right and wrong."

"Then you'd know it's right to side with me." He moved closer to her. "That you should pick my side of this fight."

Na bi stared at Mingyu thinking about the last few days of her life. She was at the edge of a rabbit hole and if she let herself fall, there was no way out. No way back. She didn't want to get trapped again. She really didn't.

A sudden knocking frightened them both, making them jump in their skin, turning to the door.

"Sir, I'm afraid if you don't come out, we're going to have to call the cops."

Na bi sighed annoyed and finally handed Mingyu his gun which he immediately stashed away. She turned to the mirror, haphazardly arranging her fringes and smudged her lipstick at the corners, looking at his reflection.

"Would you rather people assume we had sex or have them find out that man from NIS, at gunpoint, confessed to drugging and violating the privacy of an innocent woman's life?"

Mingyu immediately unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt and ran his hands through his hair, neatly messing it. Giving him an approving nod, Na bi went over and opened the door to a bunch of waiters, security guards and a suited man.

"Ma'am, I must tell you-"

"We're done and we're going."

Na bi brushed them away, grabbing her underwear from the handle and tucked it in Mingyu's back pocket, widening everyone's eyes as she walked away. Mingyu followed, muttering a bunch of apologies, joining her as she stood by the empty road, looking down it.

"I think we are banned from ever coming back here." Mingyu looked over his shoulder at the manager angrily shutting the restaurant door behind them. "I'm sorry, you said it was your favorite-"

"There's a lot more things you should be sorry about that I've not heard an apology for."

"Na bi, I really am sorry, for everything. I was just doing my job." Mingyu insisted. "You know what's that like."

Na bi stared at the far end of the one way street.

"So will you help us?" He eyed her from the side. "Please, just think about it-"

"Help you how?"

"We'll figure that out. As long as you say you'll help, I'll talk to Jihoon. I'll convince him that your innocent and we'll formulate a plan. I just need you to assure me you'll help."

He looked at her so expectantly, though Na bi didn't owe him anything. But she did owe one person.

"For Ana." She turned to him. "Only for her. Only because I want answers for her."

The relief on Mingyus face was like no other. He immediately fished for his phone, mumbling a bunch of things under his breath. Na bi didn't care enough to hear - she had enough for the day.

When the cab approached, she flagged it down and got in without so much as looking at Mingyu. That was the second last time she saw him.

The last time she saw him was about five days ago, at the Chinese place downtown who's address Mingyu had texted her. The moment she asked for him at the counter, they led her to the "special seating in the basement" which turned out to be a long corridor of doors, ending at a storeroom fermenting wines of various kinds.

The table in the centre was illuminated by a dull lamp throwing light on all the papers and maps and laptops lying askew. Men in black jackets stood around it whispering in hushed voices, while the men in green stood in the shadows behind, holding their rifles agaisnt their chest. Na bi felt something cold trickle down her neck.

"Lover boy, your girl made it."

She turned to a man just about her height, walking past her to stand next to Mingyu, who she had just noticed. The bigger man flashed her his usual canine smile which she did not return. She wasn't here to exchange pleasantries.

"What is this place?"

"NIS special operations office." Mingyu answered, approaching her. "One of many. This is the branch we use for-"

"Sure, why don't you tell her the exact coordinates of all our other operative locations too?" The shorter man, began flipping through the files before him, barely looking at her. The hostility towards her was not hidden.

Mingyu flushed, looking embarrassed. "That's Jihoon, team leader." He whispered. "That's just the way he speaks. He's a bit-"

"Bit of an ass." Na bi completed loudly for him, getting Jihoon to finally look at her.

"You have quite some nerve." He crossed his arms, anger evident in his voice. "I see why I.M would pick you."

Na bi rolled her eyes turning to Mingyu. "I'm not sure why I'm trying to help if your all-knowing team leader doesn't even trust me."

"Trust is earned Dr. Baek."

"Like you tried to earn mine by spiking my drinks every chance you got?" She raised an eyebrow at Jihoon. "Or by having me suspended for no damn reason?"

Jihoon was just about to retaliate when Mingyu stepped up, concerned. "Jihoon, I trust her. Her side of the story aligns, it makes sense. You said you trust my judgement." Jihoon rolled his eyes, turning back to his files. "Na bi, please give him time. We've been seeing you as an enemy for days. It's not easy to accept you on the other side of the fight." Na bi stared at the unbothered man before her and nodded unwillingly.

"Let's make this short and quick." Jihoon pulled up a chair before her, sitting with a manspread. "You can start with telling us everything you know about I.M"

Na bi stared at him angrily as Mingyu pulled up another chair for her and hurried to diffuse the situation.

"Jihoon, she doesn't know anything about him."

"She's met him, is there really nothing of value she can offer?" Jihoon leaned, interlocking his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "As far as we know, you're the only one who's ever seen him, Ms. Baek."

"Dr. Baek." Na bi corrected, deeply disliking the way he spoke to her. "I can describe how he looks, how vivid is your imagination on a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Save the smart talk for the sketch artist Dr. Baek." Jihoon scoffed. "We should arrange for one in a few days. In the meantime, you can enlighten me about some other details, any clues that might help."

Na bi sunk into her chair, gathering her thoughts. She didn't really know that much about Changkyun. He had a lighter that be never seemed to part with, he smelt like whiskey and roses, he could tell if a gun was loaded by its weight, he wasn't a picky eater, and he was good at doing dishes. That was about the depth of her knowledge, none of which were helpful.

"I uh know the address of the warehouse that I was taken to the first time I was kidnapped."

"They might have abandoned it once you rediscovered them." Mingyu pondered.

"Yeah.. but you might find some clues there?"

"They wiped a whole hospital clean of their existence." Jihoon added. "You think a warehouse would be spared?"

"There's no harm in trying." She gritted between her teeth.

Sighing, Jihoon handed her a notepad and a pen, allowing her to scribble the location down. One of the men in black walked up and took it from her as the team leader whispered instructions in his ear.

"There's a man named Wonho, who is his right hand of sorts. He frequently roams around in a black van, that's what they used to kidnap me. Twice."

"A name and a car colour is not enough Dr. Baek."

"Well that's all I have." She snapped. "We didn't exactly sit and exchange life stories."

Jihoon stared at her, then Mingyu.

"We need to get her to him." Jihoon grabbed his phone from the table. "She knows nothing, but if she's by his side, she might learn more."

"What do you mean?" Na bi's eyes flickered between the two men.

Jihoons eyes scanned her up to down. "I hear you're his latest love interest-"

Na bi rolled her eyes. "He's not in love with me."

"In love, attracted, infatuated, whatever, I don't care. The key word is interested. If he's taken an interest to you and you have his attention," Jihoon cracked his knuckles. "then that shall be our weapon. You shall be our weapon. We'll put you right next to him, perfect to find and feed us intel - where his headquarters are, where his hideouts are, crucial details of his organisation-"

"You're asking me to pretend to return his apparent interest in me, collect information about him discreetly and report it back to you?" Jihoon nodded at her, like it was obvious. "You're insane. I agreed to help you, not kill myself. If he finds out what I'm up to, I'll be dead in an instant."

"Are you saying you disapprove of my idea Dr. Baek?"

"No, I'm saying that it's outright stupid and doesn't consider the risks that it holds for me." She sat upright. "I'm sure there's other things I can help with. We still don't know why and how Ana got involved in all this. Since I know her, I can work with Mingyu on that-"

"Dr. Baek, since you're so eager to give suggestions, let me remind you what exactly your position here is." Na bi could see the pulsation in Jihoon's temple. "You are still a suspect of being I.M's aid, proven by the fact that we found your fingerprints in Ana's house and bullets in your own house. The only thing saving you from being prosecuted right now is Mingyu's willingness to take your responsibility and your ability to help us. Should you back off now, imagine the effect that would have on your life? On your career?"

Na bi looked at Mingyu in disbelief. He didn't meet her eye as Jihoon continued.

"You will be prosecuted. You would be going in and out of court for years, trying to prove your innocence, only to be trampled by the judicial system that functions purely on hard facts and evidence, which I have. Have you considered these risks for yourself?"

Na bi felt like air was knocked out of her lungs. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm reminding you." Jihoon threw her a photo of the bullets laying stashed in her kitchen drawer. "This is as important to you as it is to us. I hope you will start to take it as seriously."

Na bi stared at the picture in her lap. She never should have hidden the bullets from Chankgyun. One stupid, stupid move and she was trapped.

Picking up the picture, she ripped it, earning a glare from Jihoon and an inaudible, concerned whisper from Mingyu. She had no way out.

"I don't have any way to contact him." She threw the pieces on the floor. "How will I find out anything?"

Jihoon looked at Mingyu who got up immediately, walking to the table.

"If our theory of I.M taking a fancy for you is right, he must still have his eyes on you." Mingyu started. "It shouldn't be impossible for you to get a hold of him again."

"If he still has his eye on me, anything we try wouldn't work." Na bi wondered how on earth this man managed to work in intelligence. "He would have seen me hanging out with you for days now, and given your genius undercover role was that of a cop, he's not going to try and approach me anymore."

"Cops aren't a threat to him." Jihoon interjected. "Majority of the cops in Seoul don't even know about I.M and the ones that do, work for him anyways."

Na bi's eyes widened. "C-cops work for him? A criminal?"

"If good men were purely good, evil wouldn't exist Dr. Baek. How do you think the man has been able to stay so powerful? He's got his people everywhere." Mingyu nodded at her in agreement. "More frustratingly, there is loyalty for him everywhere. Over the years, any of his people that we've managed to get a hold of would rather kill themselves in custody than reveal anything about him.... That's why you're our only way." Jihoon looked at her very differently now. "The only thing that can take him down is betrayal. That's what you need to do."

Na bi gripped her thighs to stop them from shaking. It was getting all too much. Too much.

Jihoon got up, joining Mingyu at the table. "What was your plan?"

"We need to make him believe her life is still in danger." Mingyu started slowly. "If he truly cares, like we assumed, he will try to protect her again. We can start from there."

"And if he doesn't?" Na bi walked up to him, standing on the other side, glancing at his paperwork. "What if he doesn't fall for it? Or if he doesn't try to protect me again, then?"

"I bet my ass this would work." Jihoon clicked his tongue at Mingyu's choice of words, making him apologise before he continued. "We have back up plans. If not this, then-"

"Sorry, boss." The black jacket man from earlier returned, making all three of them turn towards the door. "I have intel. I enquired about address she gave. It's an old warehouse that stores spare parts of cars. It hasn't been used in years but a week ago..." He looked at Na bi then Jihoon. "There was electrical issue, a faulty wire that led to sparks and... the place caught fire. It's completely burnt down, there's nothing but ashes."

Jihoon glanced at Na bi who let out a shaky breath. She knew what his stare meant - she really was the only way out. She was their only solution.

That's how barely five days later, true to their plan, albeit at a much earlier time than she was informed, she found herself being chased down the alleys. And exactly as Mingyu predicted, Wonho 'rescued' her yet again, bringing her just where she had to be - right by Chankgyun.

She scrapped the last of her food off the plate, forcing it down her throat though all she wanted was to throw it all up. She needed to eat, she needed her energy - things were only just beginning. She had only entered hell today.

Tomorrow, she was to begin her mission to take down its king.

Next chapter

#changkyun series #changkyun smut #changkyun angst #mingyu series #mingyu smut #monsta x series #monsta x smut #monsta x angst #im changkyun #kim mingyu #monsta x changkyun #monsta x im #seventeen mingyu #mingyu #seventeen series #monsta x #changkyun

[linos-luna]

Rough day ❣️

Hyungwon x Reader

♡ (Quick fic) - - - - - - - - - - (Gender neutral) ♡

Warnings: 18+ , smut , oral , male recieving

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Your boyfriend came back home pretty stressed and exhausted. Him and the group were recording a new album and were already working on the choreography. That paired with the many other promotions on the side was draining. Just a bit ago, he got into an argument with one of his members and this just stressed him out more.

“Wonnie?” You came out of your room once hearing the door open.

“Hi baby…” he yawned and took a seat on the couch while rubbing his head.

“Are you okay?” You asked as you walked over and stand in front of him. “Is there something I can do?”

“Baby…” hyungwon took both your hands. “You’re sweet but-”

“Oh I know what you’d like!” You cut him off and got on your knees, now looking up at him. “Lemme help you relax.”

“Oh… u-um…okay” he stuttered a bit, blushing.

You started unzipping his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. You then rubbed his thighs to calm him down. “Just relax.”

He nodded and you started rubbing his cock slowly and kissing at the tip, causing him to groan. You took your time sucking at the tip before then taking him in your mouth completely and started bobbing your head.

Hyungwon threw his head back, breathing heavily. His eyes were shut and mouth agape. He bucked his hips lightly, definitely enjoying himself. He put his hand over your hair but not gripping it. He was too lost in pleasure to do that.

You purposely made a muffled moan as you knew he liked it and used your hands for what you couldn’t put in your mouth.

“Oh baby…” he groaned and grabbed onto your hair, now filling bucking his hips. “Y-you better swallow it all…”

It wasn’t long before he came in your mouth and you were sure to swallow. You then looked up to show him that you did so.

Hyungwon was trying to catch his breath as he smiled down at you.

“I should reward you” he panted.

“No it’s okay. I love helping you Wonnie…” you replied as you got on his lap. He rested his hands on your hips and rubbed gently.

“You’re the best at this… thank you…I love you so much…”

#kpop x reader #kpop #kpop smut #fanfic #kpop imagines #monsta x hyungwon #hyungwon #monsta x smut #monsta x #kpop x y/n #monsta x yandere #monsta x imagines #monsta x angst