#monster jokes

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[gloriousmonsters]

love when you can ask the Narrator why the Princess is a Princess and he's like 'well i uhhhh YOU did that. maybe it's because uh... something something about her being above you... but still approachable... look i don't want to analyze or anthropomorphize your--' my guy. i am a primal being of Order and Eternity and Shaping. You're the one who convinced me I was some dude and were quite willing to take credit for shaping my view on the world through narration five seconds ago. Are you gonna look me in the eye and tell me the desire to interpret something worthy of adoration and more powerful than me as a dommy princess is written in the very nature of the universe or are you going to show me your browser history like a man

#this is a joke but the 'so where did i get the Idea of a princess from??' still stands #since we remember nothing and don't seem to have many ideas about like. what the world looks like #but when given the conception of 'we're a hero' from the narrator's Quest #we immediately go to 'so the thing you're telling us to kill is a Princess' -> i.e something I'm not SUPPOSED to kill #and in fact am supposed to respect and cherish #and/or pledge eternal loyalty to #(and then on a deeper level we KNOW that we're the dragon #we're the biggest threat to her we're what has the power to trap her and keep her here #we're a monster just like her) #but my point remains. as a god-entity stripped of memory where did we get the idea of a (human/like) Princess. do we still have like... #the threads of common narratives sort of built into our structure b/c we're the god-half concerned with Shaping and Naming and Order? #that would kind of slap #anyway uh. dragging myself offstage now #slay the princess #slay the princess spoilers #stp spoilers

[aru-art]

two-headed calf by laura gilpin

#the magnus archives #tma #michael shelley #michael distortion #gertrude robinson #two-headed calf poem #god what a monster of a project this was to work on. ive never finished a comic before #im so happy its finally done #(/s) please direct any anonymous hatemail for this at my good friend @crestofcethleanns he pitched the idea i just visualised it <3 #also tim (the real one not stoker) (i will never get tired of making this joke) ilysm thanks for being my emotional support #my art #2023 #backgrounds #comics #mag 101 #mag 101 another twist #sorry the quality sucks on mobile #i am by no means a comic artist im just a silly little illustrator #so i didnt know the best way to go about formatting this but liked the idea of scrolling through the drawings :)

[tsubanoboo]

team mxes doodle

#WANTED FELONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #hows it feel to be the one to seal away a monster but also become one #im joking #but gregory better have a good ass reason for attempted murder #AGAINST MY DAUGHTER #anyway doodble because i got bored #fnaf #fnaf sb #is this spoilers #ruin dlc #ruin spoilers

[sixty-silver-wishes]

in the monster high world they’d eat freak yogurt and study freak mythology. from freece

#jokes that were funnier in my head #monster high

[mxtxfanatic]

What gets lost from the book’s message in trying to push monster!Hua Cheng as canon is not just that the message of Hualian’s romance is “I see you for who you are, at your best and worst, and I love what I see,” but also that Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are both just people. Xie Lian isn’t a bad luck charm capable of toppling kingdoms, and Hua Cheng isn’t some grotesque monster that nobody loves because they can’t look past the horrors. They were both once kids, then young men who were put through some of the worst trauma—but not unique!—imaginable and still came through the other side without losing themselves. They were and are people, and nothing about their traumas makes them inherently unloveable. There is nothing wrong with them. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️ It just took someone willing to see them without shying away for them to experience the love they deserved.

#tgcf #human metas mxtx #me: they are both people #hc in the edits: i am not a person #anyways all joking aside #the message doesn’t work if hc is a literal monster #which is why canonically he is not

[rocketbirdie]

nargacuga hitbox

#i sincerely apologize for the inaccuracies. #recent observations have demonstrated that this hitbox is in fact MUCH worse than depicted. #i really wish i was joking. #monster hunter #monhun #mh #my art <3 #nargacuga

[werecreature-addicted]

If your significant other is a werewolf, is bondage a kink or a safety precaution?

It's both, of course, it's both.

Sure, it's practical to restrain your lover so they don't accidentally kill you or break a bone in the middle of sex but there's artistry in the way you tie them down. There's purpose and sensuality in the picking out of ropes and the way you glance up at their face and ask "Too tight?" every time you secure the knots that bind them.

Tying the down takes a while, they get aroused knowing the less they can move the closer they are to getting to fuck you. AND ALSO LOVE!!! There is a loving tenderness in the way you run your fingers through the rope handcuffs to make sure they aren't too tight on their wrists, and how you press kisses to their muzzle as you sinch their dangerous mouth shut. it's a very intimate moment even though it's technically for safety it's sexy too.

#something something werewolf....rope...knots #theres a joke there #werewolf smut #werewolfx reader #werewolf #monster imagine #monster boyfriend #werewolf x reader #monster fucker

[shiftythrifting]

"Missing a couple of nuts but still runs great"

#thrifting #shiftythrifting #submission #dogs #joke listings #lol #shiftylisting #v punny #monster hunter

[suikatto]

I used to ship them as a kid, but since kieran is canonically gay, i see them as besties now, platonic soulmates if you will

I'll work more on his design, this is just a simple sketch

#pet gay #monster high #c.a cupid #kieran valentine #monster high cupid #maybe they host the radio show together #i don't know if people will take kindly to the thing but its a joke here in brazil

[nookisms]

Finished my second Kirby game

Went from "Yay there's so many different games to choose from! (he's a jolly fellow 🤨)" to "Humanity Is Extinct, Your Friends Are Kidnapped, And Something Haunts This Land"

Masterpost

#Kirby series #kirby and the forgotten land #Kirby #Waddle Dee Town #Tropic Woods #Meta Knight #clawroline #king dedede #forgo dedede #fecto forgo #Morpho Knight #go in the dark #text post meme #she speks #she speks originale #she edits #BEFORE ANYONE ELSE ASKS #yes I know kirby lore #it was a joke on how I went from 'Marx Betrayed You :(' to Eldritch Horror Monster #TECHNICALLY I haven't finished finished #I need to beat isolated isles but like. I'm pretty close #several of these screenshots are from ME!!! #the Meta Knight one was. SOOO hard. #he was not easy to work with

[thunderstomm]

Dude who doesn't respect boundaries vs guy who goes to therapy n wants to save the environment who will win

#thunderstomm #monster high #monster high g3 #heath burns #heath burns g1 #heath burns g3 #reminder or disclaimer that i dont really like g1 heath and mewnwhile i adore g3 heath #this was mostly made as a joke but like. its rooted in the truth. #okay to reblog #tomm talks #my art #my doodles

[ninjasmudge]

When Macaque can take his relationship with Sun Wukong falling apart better than Megatron does with Optimus.

why cant you be more like macaque, he just beat some people up and put on plays until he felt better

anyway enjoy this niche crossover

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #six eared macaque #transformers #megatron #tfp megatron #tfp #tf #mk #mk art #transformers prime #i was gonna draw maq and then i was like wait them robots is huge #and then i brainwaved so smoke monster macaque it is #if you asked me about whose fault the transformers wars are in general i could write you a multiple page essay #i could talk for hours and hours about different continueties blaming different things and how the war fell on both autobots and decepticon #but in tfp megs is pretty assuredly largely at fault and simply unable to entertain the idea of peace #i vow not to get into that essay here but his motivations were coming from a different place than for eg. tfa where hes much more justified #tfp was assured destruction #plus its for the joke so thats why im placing blame on him here #the joke needed it #sometimes salf care is obliterating your whole species #my art

[burstfoot]

#joke shamelessly stolen from may #arknights #noir corne #yato #kirin r yato #kirin x yato #monster hunter #(i dont remember the event name and neither do you tag reader)

[softly-and-suddenly]

People are so boring about classic literature sometimes. Like I know it’s cool to be critical of men in books from the 19th century or whatever but it just leads to ripping out all of the nuance in favor of “Uh all of the Brontë men were evil and abusive and that’s all there is to those characters.” Say something interesting. I’m begging you

#yes this is about a class I’m in. what of it #There is a scene in Jane Eyre where Jane approached Rochester to ask him for leave for a few weeks to see her sick aunt #and he protests and makes a fuss out of it and he gives her a bunch of money and then takes it back and gives her less than he owes her #and if you read it in the strictest and least charitable fashion then you could say that Mr Rochester is an evil piece of shit who won’t #let Jane out of his sight and doesn’t give her what she’s due #but if you actually read it in the context of the book it’s so obvious that he’s joking around with her #and she’s ribbing him back in that same scene #because when you start out with the idea the Mr Rochester is an irredeemable monster and therefore everything he does is suspicious #you miss out on the very obvious fact that he and Jane are best friends! Their personalities gel perfectly #which is why they become so infatuated with each other #Saying ‘well Rochester didn’t give her all her money so he’s clearly manipulating and abusing Jane in this scene :(’ #is such an awful boring take that ignores what Charlotte spent hundreds of pages doing with these characters! #try having reading comprehension how about that #wuthering heights #jane eyre #the tenant of wildfell hall

[best-fictional-band-poll]

The top FOUR bands from this poll will go through! Good luck!

#preliminary round #lolirock #stranger things #danny phantom #the mechanisms #parks and rec #total drama #monster high #star wars #dimension 20 #the office #note from the moderator: if the Mechanisms don't get through I am CANCELLING the poll (joke)