Moonboys: Top Notch Banter
Marc Spector & Steven Grant
404 words / Masterlist.
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Summary: Steven's all fired up and trying to explain British things to Marc. All of this is complete nonsense and none of it should be taken seriously.
Notes: Inspired by this post. Was funny to me it ended up being 404 words.
Marc was ready to pull his hair out. Staring forlornly back towards the reflection where his counterpart had been driving him crazy for the better part of a day.
They’d argued earlier and Steven decided there was no peace to be had. He chose violence, though nothing like Marc or Jake’s. Talking to himself mostly. Rambling, rambling, rambling. All in the constant vicinity of Marc. Making it near impossible to concentrate. If he couldn’t beat it. He tried joining it.
“But what does cheeky Nando's mean?? It has to have a meaning.”
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. He was verging on losing his own sanity.
“Mate it’s hard to explain.” Steven started with a disappointed sigh. “It’s just like one day you’ll just be with your mates having a look in JD.”
“… right.” Marc answered. Finding none of it right. He really was trying to follow along. Steven continued on with little breath between his strung-together words of gibberish.
“And you might fancy curry club at the ‘Spoons but your lad Calum, who’s an absolute ledge and the Archbishop of Banterbury will be like, ‘Brevs, let’s have a cheeky Nando's instead.’ And you’ll think ‘Top. Let’s smash it.’”
Hand rubbing over his face to comprehend this level of fuckery. Marc stared for the longest time.
“What are you saying?? You’re not even British? Have you picked this up off the internet?”
“Oi! You wot. Don’t say that. I’ll have you.” Steven pointed his finger up threateningly. “I’ll clap your ears together, I swear on me mum.”
Marc inhaled longingly for a moment of peace. Head tilting back to stare at the ceiling. It was either he put up with this for another hour or say what he’d been meaning to say.
“Alright. Fine. I really can’t listen to you anymore. I’m sorry I ate the last Oreo.”
“Too right! I knew it was you! Knobhead. What’re you like?”
“Did you even know half the shit you were talking about?”
“Course! JD’s a shop you have a gander in. And everyone knows ‘Spoons. Solid place if you fancy a pint in the beer garden. Even if it tastes like piss.”
“Okay?”
And still, somehow, none of it was okay for Marc.
“Gotta love a cheeky Nando’s when the occasion calls for it. Just don’t invite any ledges or Archbishops of Banterbury unless you wanna get wankered.”
“Steven. I’m begging you, please. Forget I ever asked.”
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WAIT HOLD ON
THERE'S TWO NEW FISHES WITH TWO FINS AS WELL
SO, LIKE,, DID JAKE BOUGHT BOTH MARC AND STEVEN A FISH? 😭
and oh my god I wonder if Jake took control one time then just found the fish floating, not making any movement and jake just
face palms
BUT THEN IMAGINE JAKE GOING TO THE PET SHOP DEMANDING TWO FISHES WITH TWO FINS HELP—
Jake: Look, lady. D'you have those goldfish with two fins? A pair of them? I need em quick.
The woman in the pet shop confused as fuck cause hadn't he just been here two times a week ago????: No? Sir, you've been here before demanding I give you a fish with one fin, now you want two with two fins?
Jake: Oh, well, yeah I want two. Just a little peace offering s'all.
CURRENTLY DYING RN
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