Marauder era Character Headcannons
has many tattoos
definitely not straight
drew the art on the map
obsessed with his hair
can speak french
the child of the group
coffee >> tea
loves salty things (like remus)
wore eyeliner and painted his nails often
loves rock music bc it makes him feel badass
pretty much refuses to wear robes
had sleepovers with the Marauders gals every so often
uses he/him pronouns
mommas boy (and acts just like her)
very motherly and is the mother hen of the group
like the sweetest most perfect boy you can be with
loves quidditch almost as much as he loves lily
has adhd and/or dyslexia
tries to bake goods for his friends but occasionally he accidentally burns them and just buys them candy instead
needs 9 hours of sleep to function properly
sleeps with stuffed animals
becomes friends with everyone he meets
doesn't like tea or coffee and prefers juice
is a vegetarian (bc hes a deer)
parents sirius just bc
the second most oblivious person in the wizarding world (the first being harry)
uses he/him pronouns
always has snacks on hand and loves to share them
asexual and a demiromantic
comforts his friends when they're sad
amazing at wizard chess
kind of the glue of the group
has a hard time standing up to people
insecure about his weight bc of some Slytherins making fun of him fifth year
uses he/it pronouns
loves both tea and coffee
teachers see him as the most innocent person ever even tho nothing is further from the truth
sarcastic and sassy
flirts terribly and doesn't notice when other flirt with him
him and lily are seen as rivals when it comes to academics but obviously they really don't care if the other makes better marks than them
lily was his first friend at Hogwarts and will always be his best friend
uses he/they pronouns
gives off depressed emo vibes (and probably is)
jokes about his trauma
has like two friends and one is a house elf
visits the kitchen elfs almost every night and they've pretty much accepted him as their family
is very tall even though Sirius always calls him baby/child/little
doesn't know the meaning of good mental health
is like the most dramatic person ever (reminds of the villains that go thru their evil plans when when the hero arrives)
only joined the death eaters bc he wanted his parents to be proud of him and would do anything for their approval
has low self esteem and bc of it he seeks validation from others
is asexual and is attracted to men and had a hard time accepting himself
if they've ever dated someone it was probably barty jr
had a crush on James but didn't have the courage to tell him
You’re Safe Here With Me - Sirius Black
summary: Sirius was never one to want help. however, when he’s standing outside of Remus’ window in the pouring rain while covered in his own blood, that’s the biggest cry for help he’s ever let out
warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of blood/cuts/bruises, mentions of starvation
a/n: hey, hi, hello! this is the first ever oneshot i’ve put out, and i’m sooooo nervous about it. although i’ve been writing for a while, i usually keep my WIPs hidden from the world. however, i fell in love with writing this idea and wanted to challenge myself by doing so. even though this is my first published post, this oneshot does contain some not-so-easy-to-read topic(s), so please be careful when reading and viewing this, and please do not feel forced to continue reading if the topic(s) mentioned and alluded to in this oneshot are upsetting for you; take care of yourself first. with all of that being said, i hope you guys enjoy my first ever published oneshot!! please don’t hesitate to private message me feedback or thoughts about it. anyway, have a nice read :)
Sirius was a mess. Beaten, battered, and bruised as his blood-stained shirt clung to his chest. Sadly, this was nothing new to him. He has scars upon scars that litter his skin, and these cuts only add to his collection.
Seeing Sirius so broken was something Remus never liked, especially when it was at the hands of Walburga. He had heard Sirius retell the horror stories when talking to James, a blank expression spread across his face as he relived the abuse. But hearing the stories and seeing the scars was way different than Sirius standing outside your window in the pouring rain while covered in his own blood.
“Sirius,” Remus’s words were faint, staring at Sirius in disbelief while helping him climb through the window. “What happened?”
It was a rhetorical question. Remus already knew the answer.
“I’m dirty, Remus.” Tears welled in his eyes as he spoke to his friend, those three simple words being his cry for help. He wanted nothing more than to scrub away the marks left behind on his porcelain skin, but he didn’t have the energy to do so himself. He was too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to do anything but sit on the edge of Remus’s bed, praying he doesn’t get blood all over the bedsheets.
Remus didn’t know what to say to the defeated boy in front of him. He had never seen Sirius so shattered and broken. The sight was heartbreaking.
“Let’s get you clean, Sirius.”
With a sigh, Sirius removes his shirt, revealing the seriousness of his injuries. Deep gashes cover the entirety of his chest, and nasty bruises are coated in blood. Remus knew the damage would be bad, but not nearly as gruesome as it actually is. The fact that anyone could do this to someone they’re supposed to love baffles Remus, but then again, Walburga wasn’t a loving mother.
The silence was deafening as they occupied the bathroom. Sirius sat on the side of the bathtub while Remus dug out the first aid kit from the cabinets. He wanted to say something, anything to Sirius, but he was unsure of what would be appropriate at a time like this. Instead, he settled for the silence, finally finding what he was looking for.
“This may sting a bit, and I’m sorry if it does, but we need to get you clean.”
Remus wasn’t expecting any response from Sirius, but a barely audible “okay” slipped past his lips, giving Remus permission to clean him up.
Cleaning Sirius up was a long process. Remus started with a wet sponge, gently dabbing at the blood on Sirius’s chest. He tried his hardest to avoid the cuts themselves, but it was an impossible task since they covered every inch of him. Every now and then Remus would have to run the sponge under warm water, rinsing the soaked up blood out of the sponge so he could continue cleaning. Washing Sirius was a task in itself, but so was cleaning the actual wounds. As much as Remus didn’t want to cause his friend any more pain than he was already in, he had to so he could properly clean him up.
Remus was hesitant to continue, knowing that cleaning the wounds thoroughly would hurt Sirius, but it needed to be done. Sirius could tell he was reluctant to touch him anymore, so he gave Remus some much-needed reassurance. “It’s okay, Remus. I’ll be fine.”
With that, Remus continued tending to Sirius. He dabbed saline-soaked gauze pads on the open wounds, making sure the solution got into every crevice of the cuts. Now and then Sirius would wince, causing Remus to immediately stop and check on him.
“Are you alright, Sirius?”
Again, another rhetorical question.
It was 2:15 in the morning when Sirius was finally calm enough to lay down for the night. He curled up in the corner of Remus’ twin-size bed, buried under a hand-stitch blanket made by Mrs. Lupin. It was obvious how exhausted he was, but he would never admit it out loud. Even after being beaten by his mother, he still needed to keep up his “tough guy” image. Remus wanted nothing more than for Sirius to let his walls down just this once.
“Sirius,” his name was barely audible as it slipped past Remus’ lips. “You’re safe now.”
That’s all Sirius has ever wanted to be: safe. His home was a joke. The people who were supposed to love and care for him the most are the same ones who destroy him mentally and physically; he was the human punching bag for his family, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. Even his brother, Regulus wasn’t phased by any of the abuse targeted toward Sirius. In fact, Regulus was glad to be the “golden boy” of the family; it saved him in more ways than one.
It took Sirius a minute to fully process what Remus had said to him. For the first time in a long while, Sirius felt safe. Despite him never showing Remus this side of his life, he could tell that Remus truly cared for and about him. Finally, someone cared for him.
“I’m safe?” what was supposed to be a declaration came out as more of a question.
Remus gave Sirius a sympathetic smile, “Yes, Sirius. You’re safe here with me.”
The sun’s golden rays shone through the blinds, landing themselves on top of Remus’ facial scars. The sudden brightness awoke him, partially stunning him when he opened his eyes. Once he’s up, he immediately checked on Sirius. Surprisingly, he was still laying in the same position that he fell asleep in the night before: curled up under Mrs. Lupin’s hand-stitch blanket in the corner of Remus’ twin bed. After the previous night, seeing Sirius so relaxed and peaceful was a relief. He’s never seen his friend in such a defeated and broken state like last night, so he was glad to see him sleeping so well.
Whether Sirius will admit it or not, going to Remus’ house was the best decision he had made in a long time. There, he was cleaned up thoroughly, given fresh clothes (despite them belonging to Remus), was able to sleep in a comfortable bed, and was taken care of like never before. Although he felt horrible for taking over Remus’ bed, he knew that Remus would do it over and over again if it meant that he didn’t have to worry about the constant abuse that occurs at 12 Grimmauld Place.
“G’morning Remus,” a sleepy Sirius mumbled.
“Morning,” Remus said. “You hungry?”
Sirius gave him a small nod, getting himself out of bed before following Remus to the kitchen.
Like any typical Saturday morning, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were making breakfast; Mrs. Lupin was scrambling the eggs while Mr. Lupin was making the pancakes and bacon. Typically, they would make breakfast together before Remus woke up so he’d have a hot meal ready for him. With that being said, the pair were used to hearing one chair being pulled out, signaling that their son had joined them. However, when they heard two chairs being moved simultaneously, Mrs. Lupin turned around.
When she laid eyes on the additional person, her heart dropped. There, next to her son, was Sirius. From the first glance, Mrs. Lupin could make out numerous fresh cuts and bruises, almost like he had been beaten. Along with the physical scarring that seemed to cover him from head to toe, he looked like he hadn’t slept for days. It was obvious that exhaustion had taken him over.
Sirius could feel the pity and sympathy leak from Mrs. Lupin; it wasn’t an unusual reaction when people saw him in his current state. He could tell she wanted to ask about the elephant in the room, but she didn’t out of respect for his privacy. As many times as he’s been over at Remus’ house, it never dawned on him that Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were unaware of what goes on behind the closed doors of 12 Grimmauld Place.
Remus noticed his mother staring at Sirius, and he knew how uncomfortable that made him. So, in order to divert her attention away from Sirius, he said, “G’morning Mum and Dad.”
Sirius was grateful for the distraction. He hated that he was Mrs. Lupin’s focal point. It made him want to disappear into oblivion.
“Good morning honey.” She turned her attention from Remus to Sirius. “Good morning Sirius.”
“G’morning Mrs. Lupin.” She gave him a courteous nod, acknowledging his greeting. Although Mrs. Lupin wanted to talk with Sirius, she couldn’t. There’s no way she could converse with him without breaking down at the thought of what may be happening to him at home.
Even though Sirius could tell how his current state affected Mrs. Lupin, he was appreciative that she cared. He hated the look of worry that was worn on her face, but at least she cared. The Lupins and Potters were the only ones who gave a shit about him.
Distracting Sirius from his thoughts, Mr. Lupin chimed, “Breakfast is ready!”
In all honesty, Sirius couldn’t remember the last time he’s had a decent meal. Although his mother prided herself on having the ability to cook for an entire village, Sirius was never included. Instead, he was purposely left out; his family never cared if he was taken care of or not.
That was the sad reality of Sirius’ life.
After everyone had finished their breakfast, Sirius offered to help Mr. and Mrs. Lupin clean up; it was his way of showing appreciation toward them for giving him a good meal. While they cleaned, Remus showered and washed laundry. Unbeknownst to Sirius, Remus threw his friend’s bloody clothes from the previous night in the washer so they’d be clean again. To Remus, washing Sirius’ clothes wasn’t a huge deal, but he knew it’d mean the world to his friend.
In all honesty, Sirius couldn’t be more thankful for his friends, especially Remus and James; they were the ones who’ve helped him the most. Whenever Sirius needed a safe place to rest for a few nights, he always knew the Lupins and Potters would welcome him with open arms, just like the previous night.
While helping Mr. and Mrs. Lupin clean up the kitchen, Sirius finally spoke up and said, “Thank you for breakfast, and for everything else.”
It’s heartbreaking what Sirius has been through, especially since he’s only 17. Although Mr. and Mrs. Lupin didn’t know the full details of everything that’s happened to Sirius, they wanted him to know that he was and always will be safe with them.
“You don’t have to thank us, Sirius.” Mrs. Lupin met Sirius’ eyes, showing him the sincerity in her words. “You’ll always be safe as long as you’re here with us.”
“I’ll be safe here?” Sirius pleads.
“Yes, Sirius. You’re safe here. You’ll always be safe here.”