#more fish cows to come

[lynxgirlpaws]

>Decide I'm gonna finally start confronting the elephant in the egg I mean room

>Write a whole page's worth of a letter to my therapist because I know I'll be too scared and stupid to say anything out loud

>Even confirm the suspected to a friend that doesn't really talk to my other friends anymore, as a sort of safety measure also she's probably one of the best options for such a thing to be done seamlessly

>Despite blasting the brisket song in my head for the past hour and a half, still scared shitless

>Contact Sheeve for conversation bc fuck sitting alone with my thoughts for the rest of this night especially

>Get reminded that it's Halloween

God fucking damnit I got spooked. I spooked myself. I fell for the "do scary things on Halloween" meme. Can I show up to therapy in a costume or-

#GOD DAMNIT GOD FORBID #I DO ONE FUCKING THING #if the egg shatters on Halloween I'm actually gonna be pissed that's so fucked up and evil of me #frantically taping the shell back together to last at least one more day #FISH DON'T MATCH THE SPOOKY AESTHETIC AT ALL COME ON #I've been questioning the fish thing too. wolves raccons dragons rams cows lynx come to min.d. but the fish is the status quo.... #(because “business as usual” works so well right? *bites off more finger hairs*)

[quotesfrommyreading]

When I’m out with Deaf friends, I put my hearing aid in my purse. It removes any ability to hear, but far more importantly, it removes the ambiguity that often haunts me.

In a restaurant, we point to the menu and gesture with the wait staff. The servers taking the order respond with gestures too. They pantomime “drinks?” and tell us they learned a bit of signs in kindergarten. Looking a little embarrassed, they sign “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day” in the middle of asking our salad dressing choice. We smile and gently redirect them to the menu. My friends are pros at this routine and ordering is easy ― delightful even. The contrast with how it feels to be out with my hearing husband is stunning.

Once my friends and I have ordered, we sign up a storm, talking about everything and shy about nothing. What would be the point? People are staring anyway. Our language is lavish, our faces alive. My friends discuss the food, but for me, the food is unimportant. I’m feasting on the smorgasbord of communication ― the luxury of chatting in a language that I not only understand 100% but that is a pleasure in and of itself. Taking nothing for granted, I bask in it all, and everything goes swimmingly.

Until I accidentally say the word “soup” out loud.

Pointing at the menu, I let the word slip out to the server. And our delightful meal goes straight downhill. Suddenly, the wait staff’s mouths start flapping; the beautiful, reaching, visual parts of their brains go dead, as if switched off.

“Whadda payu dictorom danu?” the server’s mouth seems to say. “Buddica taluca mariney?”

“No, I’m Deaf,” I say. A friend taps the server and, pointing to her coffee, pantomimes milking a cow. But the damage is done. The server has moved to stand next to me and, with laser-focus, looks only at me. Her pen at the ready, her mouth moves like a fish. With stunning speed, the beauty of the previous interactions ― the pantomiming, the pointing, the cooperative taking of our order ― has disappeared. “Duwanaa disser wida coffee anmik? Or widabeeaw fayuh-mow?”

Austin “Awti” Andrews (who’s a child of Deaf adults, often written as CODA) describes a similar situation.

“Everything was going so well,” he says. “The waiter was gesturing, it was terrific. And then I just said one word, and pow!! It’s like a bullet of stupidity shot straight into the waiter’s head,” he explains by signing a bullet in slow motion, zipping through the air and hitting the waiter’s forehead. Powwwww.

Hearing people might be shocked by this, but Deaf people laugh uproariously, cathartically.

“Damn! All I did was say one word!” I say to my friends. “But why do you do that?” they ask, looking at me with consternation and pity. “Why don’t you just turn your voice off, for once and for all?” they say.

Hearing people would probably think I’m the lucky one ― the success story ― because I can talk. But I agree with my friends.

  —  I'm Deaf And I Have 'Perfect' Speech. Here's Why It's Actually A Nightmare.

#rachel zemach #austin andrews #disability #ableism #deafness #sign language #speech #asl #american sign language

[poetrysmackdown]

welcome to the 2023 tumblr poetry smackdown

tumblr has developed something of a canon of poetry over the past couple years, and i figured others might enjoy getting a chance to voice their opinions on a few of those poems! poems i chose for the poetry smackdown had to be more or less widely read on tumblr (generally 10k+ notes, most with more or spread across compilations), and relatively short so as to make voting easier. they also had to be complete—there are a lot of popular lines floating around on tumblr that are excerpted from very long poems and/or poems that are inaccessible via internet, and those aren't included here. a handful of poets are represented here twice reflecting my sense of their popularity, but i arranged the bracket in such a way that it won't be able to stay that way past round 2 at the latest. if i missed a poem that is super popular i'm sorry, that said the bracket is staying as is because this was a shit ton of work to put together and i don't want to. ty.

you can get to the polls by following the links below or going to the #round1 tag on my blog. you can also send me propaganda if you want via ask and i'll post it/add it to the next round's post if the poem wins.

happy voting!

sincerely amelia @poetriarchy :)

ROUND 1: ENDS JULY 17 at 6pm EDT

"The Two-Headed Calf" by Laura Gilpin vs. "Butter Dish" by Leonard Cohen (cow poems)

"Poem" by Langston Hughes vs. "A Meeting" by Wendell Berry

"Miss you. Would like to grab that chilled tofu we love." by Gabrielle Calvocoressi vs. "My Sister, Who Died Young, Takes Up The Task" by Jon Pineda

"Hammond B3 Organ Cistern" by Gabrielle Calvocoressi vs. "Hong Kong" by Sue Zhao

"someone will remember us" (fragment by Sappho trans. Anne Carson) vs. "Wait" by Faraj Bou al-Isha trans. Khaled Mattawa

"The Quiet World" by Jeffrey McDaniel vs "Invisible Fish" by Joy Harjo

"Want" by Joan Larkin vs. "Come, and Be My Baby" by Maya Angelou

"Swan" by Mary Oliver vs. "How I Go to the Woods" by Mary Oliver

"The Orange" by Wendy Cope vs. "The Tenor of Your Yes" by Mary Ruefle

"Here There Are Blueberries" by Mary Syzbist vs. "Instructions on Not Giving Up" by Ada Limón

"To The Young Who Want to Die" by Gwendolyn Brooks vs. "A Litany for Survival" by Audre Lorde

"Night Walk" by Franz Wright vs. "Meditations in an Emergency" by Cameron Awkward-Rich

"Summer Was Forever" by Chen Chen vs. "I'm not a religious person but" by Chen Chen

"How to Be a Dog" by Andrew Kane vs. "Scheherazade" by Richard Siken

"I'm going to Minnesota where sadness makes sense" by Danez Smith vs. "Dream Song 29" by John Berryman

"Having a Coke with You" by Frank O'Hara vs. "Having 'Having a Coke with You' with You" by Mark Leidner

ADDENDUM: at 6pm on July 17th (or possibly a day earlier if there's already a clear sweep), I will be releasing a one-day poll that will give voters the option to sub in "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver for the winner of matchup #8: "Swan" vs. "How I Go to the Woods". this is to help correct my significant oversight when I was remembering which two Oliver poems I've seen most on tumblr, and it's the only time I'm doing this kind of thing, so don't suggest it for any other poems after this please. that said, a sincere ty to @darkcomedies for first bringing its absence to my attention! and keep an eye out for this extra poll which i am calling ROUND 1.5: A HAIL MARY (OLIVER)

#poetry #poll #bracket #round1 #masterpost

[incorrectbatfam]

If you could create and add a new DC character, what would they be like?

I'm going to tell you about David, and knowing you guys, you'll agree with me when I say he should have his own comic.

David has been my best friend literally since we were 8. He is the only constant I've had through my life. He introduced me to the drums and helped me get a motorcycle after I got my license. We are each other's platonic ride or die. If he asked me to bury a body, I'd do it no question, and I know he'd do the same for me.

That said, I clearly have the braincell in this friendship.

Don't get me wrong, he's smart in certain aspects. He's a talented musician, good athlete, taught himself to fix most plumbing issues, speaks decent Japanese, easily clicks socially, and is super empathetic. But in others, he's like a plate in a knife drawer.

Some highlights from over the years:

He ate the brown paper bag his lunch came in on a field trip

He thought hot chocolate was just cocoa powder (no milk or water) in a mug and the microwave would melt it. His sister had to call the fire department

He gave a stray dog his scarf for warmth and never saw that scarf again

He licked the dust off an XBox controller

He got a speeding ticket outside the DMV literally five minutes after getting his license

He made gender reveal cupcakes to come out to the rest of our friend group when we were 17, but he threw them into a Ziploc and they jostled around his backpack for half a day before lunch

He thought closing a browser tab would get rid of a computer virus

He tried hotboxing his own car while driving

He almost seasoned his food with pepper spray before someone stopped him

He had a tire swing on a tree in his backyard. He decided to stand on it while swinging and smacked his forehead against a branch in front of him. It was literally the most hollow thwock ever, as if confirming his lack of braincells. He then proceeded to get pissed off and punch the tree. He said it was his most gender-affirming experience

He brought me along on a family road trip and used me as a footrest in the car

He frequently writes drum tabs the way he'd write guitar ones (in short the two are very different kinds of sheet music and I'd need three hands to play them). He absolutely knows better. I think he's messing with me at this point

He mistook wasabi powder for matcha

He once got drunk at a frat party, crawled out the lawn of the house, and began eating grass like a cow

I wanted to know what kissing a dude was like out of curiosity and this was before he started physically transitioning, so to make it a more "authentic" experience, he gargled Gatorade beforehand

He tried to make his first battle jacket with washable Crayola markers

He also tried to dye his hair with his sister's watercolors

He's worn the same sweatshirt since he was 14 and I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen him wash it (I was over at his house a lot)

He's the motherfucker that wears running shorts in the snow

He thought his area code would automatically change when we moved to a new state

He once kicked a soccer ball into an oncoming train

BONUS: when he came out to his parents, they were accepting and while he was at school, his dad mounted a fish on David's bedroom door because men I guess

So yeah, if I worked at DC, I'd insert David in the background of every comic just being his chaotic himbo self. David is beyond space and time. There could be a battle on fucking Oa and David would just be there doing a kickflip. That's who I'd choose.

#character idea #original character #personal #batfamily #batfam #batman family #justice league #gotham #batman #dc comics #superheroes #don't try this at home #transgender #lgbtq #story #himbo #tw swearing #tw food mention #tw alcohol mention

[devildomsoup]

Silly little headcanons #2

Silly Little Headcanons #1

Lucifer

He sleeps with socks on.

Has on multiple occasions carried a crying Asmodeus around.

His home screen on his phone is a picture of his brothers with a poorly edited Cerberus in the background.

Can sing the entirety of Bohemian Rapsody without missing a note.

Mammon

Has a drawer with all the things Luke has given him. There's a lock on it.

Stands with one foot on his thigh when preparing noodles.

His keys are attached to his pants because he kept forgetting them.

Ruffles his brothers' hair. All of them.

Leviathan

Remembers everyone's favourite shows so he can buy them merchandise for their birthday.

Makes stickers so he can decorate Henry's fish tank.

Brings glowsticks to Beel's Fangol games.

Wears wrist warmers during winter.

Satan

Has kicked Lucifer in the balls more than one time.

He has a tendency to bump his hip into tables and chairs, you name it

Really good at jump ropes. He can even do tricks.

Has a secret stash of catnip.

Asmodeus

Ran a marathon in heels out of spite.

Had a slime Deviltube channel back when it was trendy.

Very skilled at origami. Made a bouquet for MC's birthday.

Has fallen down the stairs quite a few times.

Beelzebub

Ate the slime Asmodeus made for his Deviltube channel. It's a mystery how he didn't end up sick.

Kicked the front door off its hinges by accident 13 times in the span of 5 days.

Eats most fruits without peeling them first.

Makes a buzzing sound when you scratch his head.

Belphegor

Will take naps on any bed, but it has a tendency to not be his own.

Almost drowned in a bowl of soup once because he fell asleep.

This man never wears matching socks.

If he moos at cows, they will come running to him. He is the cow summoner.

Simeon

Falls for clickbait at least twice per day.

Accidently ordered 100 spoons online instead of 10. He won't run our spoons any time soon.

Likes to make flower arrangements.

Sleeps with a giant Teddy bear that takes up half the bed.

Raphael

He sounds like he's about to keel over and die every time he coughs.

Brings Solomon's cooking with him for lunch.

Forgot Luke in a supermarket.

Randomly brings animals with him to Purgatory Hall.

Luke

Has a hard time telling left from right.

Owns multiple kazoos.

He will never admit but he really enjoys shoulder rides.

Likes to spin around on office chairs. Sometimes he does it too much and ends up extremely dizzy.

Solomon

He once caused a chemical reaction with his cooking that forced the residents of Purgatory to live at the castle for a week.

Has no feelings in his pinky toes. He will ram them into a table leg full force and not even flinch.

Falls asleep on the couch all the time.

Can mimic animal sounds like a pro.

Thirteen

Falls out of her bed all the time. She moves a lot in her sleep.

Her very first trap was a bucket of water on a door. It hit Solomon straight on the head.

Really good at acrobatics.

Had a pet squirrel for many years. It died of old age and Thirteen was devastated when it happened.

Diavolo

Almost broke Barbatos' hand out of excitement when going to the cinema for the first. He apologised for weeks after the incident.

Skilled at climbing. It really comes in handy when he wants to sneak out of the castle.

Likes to do rubber duck races.

Hits his head on doorframes all the time.

Barbatos

Will randomly just do cartwheels.

Slides down the railings in the castle when there isn't anyone around to see it.

Likes to play the piano with the Little D.'s

Don't be surprised if you see birds or other animals help Barbatos. Demon Snow White.

Mephistopheles

He can and will destroy you in Uno.

Helps Luke with homework from time to time. Don't tell anyone though.

Has high kicked a demon into the ceiling because he heard them conspire against Diavolo.

He has a great singing voice.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #obey me raphael #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mephistopheles #obey me headcanons

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

#Hermitcraft #hermit catchphrases #hermitcraft catchphrases #hermit quotes #hermitcraft quotes #This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date #if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!

[gh0ullie]

breeding!

[Itto+ Ayato + Childe + Gorou]

NSFW, 18+, Minors do not interact!

────────────────────────────────────────────

tags: breeding, impregnation, mating press (itto), aphrodisiac (ayato), light bdsm(childe), heat cycles (gorou), knotting (gorou)

Itto

He’d always wanted to be a dad. Pride as an oni meant a fervent desire to further his line, and Itto knew by now that he wanted to do so with his lovely girlfriend: you. He’d tried to be casual when he brought it up, but had fumbled the conversation and blurted out his true thoughts. “I want to breed you like a cow.” You’d blushingly agreed, not letting on the extent of how much the idea turned you on. 

He’d gone to the lengths of abstaining for the past week, and as pent up as he was Itto was desperate to shoot his massive load inside of you. When you walked into the room in nothing but a tiny bit of frilly lingerie, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. 

Now, pinned beneath him, he makes short work of getting you prepped and ready. Filthy squelching emanates throughout the room as he pumps you with his large, thick fingers. 

“Itto,” you mewl beneath him, “I’m wet enough… put it in.”

Like you’d flipped a switch, he’s pulled out his fingers and positioned himself at your entrance in what feels like just a second. He grabs each of your legs in one hand, and presses them up towards your chest, crouched over you like a beast ready to devour his prey. Moving one hand back to his cock, a low, grumbling moan falls from his lips as he rubs it against the wet folds of your pussy, ghosting the tip over your clit as he does so. 

Then, leaning forward and pressing you to the mattress, he slides all the way inside. You’ve never felt him this deep before, and it shows, your jaw hanging open as you cry out his name again and again. Powerful thrusts reach deep inside of you as his balls slap against your ass. It almost hurts, but the waves of immense pleasure drown out anything else. 

“I’m going to pump you full of so much cum,” he tells you. 

“Yes, please!” you cry. “Fill me up! I want your baby!” 

You can feel him pulsate inside of you and your cunt twitches around him. His rhythm gets more and more frantic, the weight of him pressing down on you heavy and intense and incredible. You feel yourself coming close to your own orgasm.

When he cums, the position you’re in – Itto’s cock nearly vertical inside you – drives the hot spend straight to your core. There’s so much of it, and the sensation is incredible. It pushes you over the edge, drawing tears from your eyes and turning you into a moaning mess. For good measure, he fucks his load deeper inside of you with a few more hard thrusts, before finally relaxing, his cock warm and comfortable inside of you. 

He leans over and kisses you deeply, with so much love it’s nearly overwhelming.

────────────────────────────────────────────

Ayato

Heir to the Kamisato clan. That title came with responsibilities, and all his life Ayato knew he’d one day have to produce an heir of his own. When he met you, he knew you were the one. The thought of you, tits heavy with milk, belly round with his child inside… it was almost too much for Ayato to bear. This thought always lingered at the back of his mind as he courted you, and now, finally, it was time for him to truly make you his. 

“Are you ready?” he asks as he leans over your naked form, one hand on your hip, the other on your knee. As you looked into his eyes, they sparkled with anticipation. 

You nod, and he gets to work. He spreads you open, and takes in the sight. You blush profusely at the intensity of the stare, and shut your eyes. You hear Ayato fishing something from his pockets, then hear the clink of something made of glass. You gasp as something cold hits your pussy, and your eyes snap open. A trail of viscous liquid flows from a small glass vial onto your sex, coating your folds in a sticky mess. 

“This should help,” he says softly, a smile on his face. “You should start to warm up soon.” 

And you do. The cold melts into the heat of your body, and quickly turns you even hotter than you had been. The sticky liquid drips into your entrance, mixing with your own heated arousal. 

Ayato reaches down and pulls his length from his pants, stroking himself a few times before positioning himself at your entrance. 

“Are you ready?” he asks, his voice soft and reassuring. “I’m going to get you pregnant, you know.” You nod vigorously, and he slides his way inside. 

Even with the lube, his girth is a lot to handle without any foreplay. He knows this, and takes it slowly. Every inch that slides in sends a new wave of pleasure washing over you, and you try not to clench yourself around him, it’s tight enough as it is. 

Slowly but surely, you loosen up, the lube heating you up and getting your juices flowing even more quickly than usual. Ayato finds his pace, gently thrusting inside of you deeper and deeper each time. Before long, you’re both panting heavily.

Ayato reaches a hand up and strokes your cheek as he thrusts ever more vigorously. He’s close to coming undone. Nuzzling into his hand, you whisper his name between pants. 

“Ayato… hurry… cum inside,” you whimper.

“Oh, are you that eager to have my child?” he teases. 

You nod vigorously. “I want your baby, Ayato. Please, hurry!” 

He can’t resist your pleas. Moving both hands to your hips, he presses you down against his cock with each thrust. It’s so deep inside you know that you feel completely and utterly full when he thrusts in, and your walls clench down to try their best to keep him there. Faster and faster he thrusts, the noise of skin slapping against skin echoing through the room, until finally… 

With a long, low moan, Ayato blows his noble load inside of you. You can feel the semen coating your insides, hot and thick. 

You don’t even get a chance to rest before he starts thrusting again. 

“You didn’t think we were done, did you?” Ayato says, his voice sly. “Once isn’t nearly enough to guarantee an heir, you know. We’re going to go all night.” 

────────────────────────────────────────────

Childe

For Childe, it was a sense of possessiveness that filled his mind with the thoughts of impregnating you. He wanted to make you his, truly and completely. 

“My darling,” he says, his voice sugared, as he slides the collar onto your neck. “I’m going to breed you like the bitch you are, isn’t that exciting?” 

You nod, your eyes sparkling. 

“Good. Now open your mouth.” 

He stands up from his kneeling position and unfastens his pants as you oblige. Whipping his dick out, he wastes no time moving it to your parted lips, shoving it past them and into your waiting mouth. You get to work immediately. Bobbing your head up and down his cock, your tongue running along the bottom as you go, you can feel yourself heating up down below just from the girth of him in your mouth. 

He tangles his fingers through your hair, guiding you up and down his length with an increasingly rough hand. After a few minutes of his breathing gradually getting heavier, he pulls you off of him with a pop. 

“Right then,” he says, letting go of your hair and grabbing the leash he’s attached to the collar. He lifts you off of your knees and turns, guiding you to the bed and tossing you down onto it roughly. 

He climbs up over you, spreading your knees and grinning at the mess he sees between your legs. 

“So wet already! Eager, are we?” he teases. You flush and nod, and he laughs. 

He runs a finger along your slick folds, eliciting a moan. Spreading your legs even further apart with his free hand, he slides the finger inside, curling it upwards and raking it along the top of your cunt. He pulls it out as you mewl beneath him, bringing the finger to his lips and licking the juices away. 

“Look at that, I don’t even need to prep you,” he says, his voice praising. He moves the hand to his cock, guiding himself to his entrance. You greedily swallow him up as he pushes inside, the both of you moaning in tandem.

Wasting no time, he gets to work bucking his hips, reaching deep into your core with his impressive length. He rubs a hand over your belly, right above where he’s thrusting into you.

“I’m going to fill you alllll the way up, right here,” he says, “I’ll fill you up so much there’s no way you won’t get pregnant.” 

You tighten around him. He pauses at the grip, before yanking the leash, pulling you up into a kiss. As his tongue snakes it’s way between your lips, he keeps going, thrusting faster and rougher as you both approach climax. When he lets loose inside of you, the hot rush of cum spurting inside sends you over the edge. Your cunt milks his cock for every drop, before the two of you finally collapse in a sweaty pile of limbs. 

“So,” Childe says, “Round two?” 

────────────────────────────────────────────

Gorou

He’s been acting strange lately. More impulsive, snappier and much, much touchier. You’ve finally worked up the courage to confront him about it, and now here you are, staring him down as he avoids your gaze.

“It’s heat,” he finally says, scratching his chin and looking down at the floor. You can see heat rising in his cheeks. “My kind go into heat. I’ve been taking steps to suppress it but… there’s only so much that magic and medicine can do.” 

Your face explodes in a blush. This wasn’t what you were expecting, not at all. Your own gaze wanders to the floor, and a thought flashes into your head as the awkward silence sits heavy between you. 

“If it’s heat, then don’t you just need to breed?” you ask. “Won’t you feel better after that?”

 His head snaps up at this, and he stares at you, his jaw hanging open. 

“It… it would probably help,” he admits after a few moments of gawking. 

With a deep breath for courage, you crawl across the floor towards him. 

“Then let’s do it,” you tell him. 

He looks like he wants to protest, but when you trail a hand down his abdomen, his base urges take control. He pushes you into the floor, pinning your hands and kissing you deeply. You moan into the kiss, and this draws a moan from him in turn. Your tongues swirl around each other, his sharp canines scraping across your bottom lip. 

A knee comes up between your legs, spreading them apart. His tail is flitting this way and that, and a hand moves from your wrist to your chest, pawing at your greedily through your clothes. 

When you pull away from the kiss for breath, he moves immediately to your neck, seemingly not wanting to waste even a second. 

“Gorou… Gorou slow down, let me get my clothes off,” you laugh though your heavy breaths.

“S-sorry!” he says, seeming to snap back into himself., he leans back onto his knees, freeing you to pull your top up over your head. He waits patiently as you peel your underwear off as well, before giving him a nod. Then he’s right back on you, nuzzling into your neck as his hands roam across your body. 

Soon, one hand drifts to his pants, from which he pulls out his rock hard cock. You can see that it’s already dripping, and realize just how much he needs this. Reaching down, you rub a few circles around your clit, before using two fingers to spread yourself wide. 

“Gorou,” you whine, “I’m ready. Fill me up, right here.” 

His tongue hangs halfway out of his mouth in a pant as he takes in the view of you, spread wide, his eyes sparkling with desire. Then he obliges, sliding his way in and immediately setting to work pumping inside of you. 

As deep in heat as he is, it doesn’t take long for him to come. You gasp as you can feel his engorged heat expanding inside of you, knotting into place as he rides out his long orgasm. The feeling of his hot seed spreading out deep inside of you, combined with the comfortable fullness of his knot gets you going. As he comes down from his climax, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in close. 

“Don’t stop,” you whisper into his ear. Perking up, he nods. You’re in for a long night, it seems.

────────────────────────────────────────────

#I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO GET SO LOng #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin x reader smut #genshin men #arataki itto x reader #arataki itto smut #kamisato ayato x reader #kamisato ayato smut #ayato x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia smut #childe smut #gorou x reader #gorou smut #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact x you #genshin imagines #🔞

[shegetsburned]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐣𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | part ii ‧₊˚ 𓐐⋅

• — ft. shiu kong. kinji hakari. choso kamo. atsuya kusakabe. hiromi higuruma.

bon appétit !! @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐮 𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐠

so i think this man loves to try new dishes and makes you try new things with him with a giant grin on his face.

normally he’d take you to fancy restaurants, but this time he wanted to do something just the two of you in a calmer place.

hates for you to do anything so he’ll insist on doing everything himself so that you could relax while he cooks.

he already had an idea as soon as you guys agreed on doing this. and you can be sure as hell it involves cheese. man adores cheese, so if you do too, you’ll be served.

this time, just for you, he went out himself on his day off and bought the runniest cheese you’ve ever seen in your life. we all know these are just the best kinds.

this afternoon, you were served a burrata. it’s a soft, white, cow’s milk cheese made from mozzarella and cream. hard on the outside but filled with stracciatella on the inside which is more creamy. served with candied cherry tomato with a piece of buttered and grilled bread.

as you take a bite of the cheese he admires every expression of yours and a warm laugh echoes through the room when you show how tasteful it is.

𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐢

honestly, i’m thinking fast food or something.

or maybe just take-outs but in an expensive asf place.

i feel like he loves food but prefers ordering instead of cooking. he finds cooking boring and we know how much this man hates boring stuff.

will buy you whatever the hell you want, doesn't slightly care how much you want to eat, he'd buy the whole restaurant if he could.

you can get whatever you want, there is no way you can be disappointed with the meal. in a way, he ensures you’ll eat something you like by letting you choose what you want, which certainly satisfies him.

also prefers to stay cozily at home with you to eat than actually go out. so expensive take-outs it is. you don’t even have to lift your butt off the seat. it’ll all come to you.

you’ll get your favorite meal and he won’t hesitate a second to buy it for you. might seem boring but he really would buy you anything you want and silently watch you hum with pleasure every time you take a bite of that dish. your happiness is what matters.

𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐨

i have a feeling he has no idea what humans prefer to eat in this day and age so he’d do a thorough internet research to know what you’ll undoubtedly like.

“what is the most liked dish in the world?” “what do humans prefer to eat the most?” “how do i cook chicken?” “what’s the easiest, but best dish to make?”

all of this research would make him think it’s either spaghetti or pizza. and he’ll choose spaghetti, because of you know which flashback with his little bros.

sticks his tongue out while he’s preparing your meal, trying to get every portion down to the tiniest milligram right. he wants it to be perfect. and he probably thinks it’ll ruin the whole dinner if the portions aren’t right.

i’m thinking of carbonara pasta. you know the real version using eggs and pecorino with a touch of lardons.

once you take the first bite, he stares at you, patiently waiting for any sign of distaste or displeasure. there’s no way he botched it. everything is right down to the tiniest detail. and he can tell he’s done it when you quickly finish your plate and ask for more. there’s nothing making him happier.

𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐛𝐞

he’s big on fishing so i’m thinking one of the fish he caught. his favourite.

something simple but still good and he’d find the freshest and best ingredients for you.

he’s been fishing for a long time and has acquired enough knowledge and skills to know which ingredients are best served which certain types of fish. you definitely won’t be disappointed.

will prepare everything in advance, removing the pin bones in advance and every part that isn’t edible. he does it just to be sure it’ll be ready for when you’re here. also, he knows it’s way safer that way, knowing he won’t be rushing to cook it later.

man does not want to mess this up and has never worked so hard to make a perfect meal, brows connecting as he works his tired ass off. he cannot mess this up considering you’ll be the one eating it.

how about braised alfonsino/kinmedai with some rice and avocado on the side? all gently simmered in a flavorful sauce made of soy sauce, sake, mirin and ginger.

he exhales abnormally loud as soon as you finally show a smile after having a taste. all the pressure now off of his shoulders. you don’t know how glad this man is that you enjoy the fish he personally caught for you. i know he’ll now think of you every time he goes out fishing, wondering which fish you’d like most.

𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐚

i just know in my heart, or at least believe, that he’s distinguished and the meal will cost him a fortune.

only the best and most expensive ingredients for you, dear.

don’t be surprised if you come back to a candlelight dinner prepared by your one and only, while he sips the most delicate wine, waiting for you.

by the way, he knows so much about wine and beverages. he knows exactly what you like and what would be a perfect mixture with the meal he prepared.

also when he cooks he likes to take his time, preparing the meal with love and attention knowing it’ll be for his one and only.

so for him, i’m thinking of seafood. he’ll serve you flamed cornish lobster with a yakitori marinade and a ponzu mayonnaise. there’ll be a garnish made of sliced radishes and nori strips. the presentation leaves you baffled. it looks like it came straight out of a five-star restaurant. it smells absolutely divine and you can’t expect less from this man.

when you start digging in, he can’t help but smile while he looks at you with tenderness and love. if he could, he’d look at you through the whole dinner and watch you enjoy that delicious meal he prepared.

© shegetsburned 2024. Please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.

#divider by plutism #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #shiu kong #jjk shiu #shiu x reader #hakari kinji #jjk hakari #higuruma hiromi #higuruma x reader #jjk higuruma #jjk #can you tell i like cheese #hakari x reader #atsuya kusakabe #kusakabe x reader #jjk kusakabe #jjk hcs #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #food

[ovaruling]

idc i will never understand the desire to keep our species going in 2024. why? literally what reason rn. look around. we’ve done enough. we’re going to have record heat and cold and weather this year and the year after that and the year after that. if they even survive the natural disasters imminent then your children will be 25 and won’t be able to go outside bc it’ll be either 135 degrees or -135 degrees by 8am every day and we’ll have new degrees of mass extinction every season. the food supply will be vanishing. the ocean already will be devoid of fish by 2048. we will likely suffer another few zoonotic pandemics as animal agriculture worsens bc no one can fucking put down the cow breastmilk. life as we know it is going to come to a violent and stuttering end much sooner than everyone wishes to acknowledge. it will be painful and horrifying and slow and then very quick. i would never wish that on anyone. i would sooner us all die out than one more new innocent be subjected to any of that. but ok

[diorsluv]

feather , part 10

“ i’m saying ‘no, no, no, no more’ ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, adamfantilli, mackie.samo, and 74,028 others

yourusername little women hurt my brain so i went back to my happy place (aka gossip girl)

view all comments

edwards.73 i’m kinda scared to ask but uh… what’s the difference between gossip girl and gilmore girls

→ yourusername unfollow me rn

→ colecaufield wait no he’s valid (i don’t know the difference either)

→ yourusername both of u have asked me this 20 times already. i’m blocking u two.

markestapa i know the difference between gossip girl and gilmore girls!

→ mackie.samo me too!!

→ yourusername yeah bc u come to my place for gossip girl marathons like every other day

username64 LITTLE WOMEN

username78 FLORENCE PUGH OH MY GOD

jackhughes little women gives me war flashbacks

→ yourusername i wonder why 🤨

→ jackhughes hmmm maybe because you CALLED ME FOR 5 HOURS STRAIGHT JUST TO RANT TO ME ABOUT IT

→ yourusername IM SORRY

username14 is no one gonna talk about how she posted this at 2 in the morning 😭😭

bookerburke_ gossip girl is the one with the guy that played sam in supernatural right

→ yourusername no sweetie that’s gilmore girls…..

→ cole.caufield HEY HOW COME YOU’RE NICE TO HIM ABOUT IT BUT NOT US yourusername

username21 at least bertram isn’t in one of the pics this time

→ username35 LMAO BERTRAM

username69 i’m kinda sorta in love with your taste in tv shows and movies

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, adamfantilli, trevorzegras, and 82,185 others

yourusername went through my old photos and i guess this is sort of a photo dump.. if u ask me to explain the pics i might…….

so for all the trev, luke, jack, quinn, luca, mark, rut, turcs, eddy, and mackie girls, i hope you’re happy 🫶🫶

tagged: trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, mackie.samo, edwards.73, jackhughes, lhughes_06, _alexturcotte, rutgermcgroarty, luca.fantilli, markestapa

view all comments

lhughes_06 please for the love of god don’t explain the cow photo

→ username44 what happened in the cow photo 😧

→ yourusername okay username44 so basically i walked out of my parents house and i saw luke’s dumbass in a cow suit standing right next to my car

→ lhughes_06 I WAS 16 AND JACK SAID IF I DID IT HE’D DO MY CHORES FOR TWO WEEKS

adamfantilli why didn’t you post me 🫤🫤

→ yourusername i didn’t have any old bad pics of you 😕

username4 quinner is contemplating his life in that fishing pic

luca.fantilli okay but that cake was kind of good

→ yourusername uh huh maybe bc i made it

→ luca.fantilli ok i don’t know bout all THAT 🤣

→ yourusername ur the worst fantilli brother

trevorzegras i didn’t know everyone fell asleep on top of me on the couch 😅😅

_alexturcotte let me just say i beat cole in arm wrestling

→ cole.caufield yeah butttt who got the bigger gains??

→ _alexturcotte oh shut up

→ yourusername it’s okay turcs, not everyone’s as strong as cauliflower here

→ _alexturcotte BUT I LITERALLY BEAT HIM?? yourusername

→ cole.caufield hey lil drizzy i thought we left that nickname in 2020 🙃

markestapa you know i actually rode that skateboard pretty well

→ yourusername you fell flat on your ass

username76 i love how she’s exposing EVERYONE

edwards.73 hey it was fun getting thrown into the pool

→ yourusername says the one that started screaming bloody fuckin murder as soon as he hit the water

mackie.samo i look so disheveled eating that cake

rutgermcgroarty see me and jack held each other up in that second photo bc we’re just too strong for our own goods

→ jackhughes 🗣️🗣️

→ yourusername whatever helps you sleep at night

next chapter notes ) i’m actually grinding these chapters out it’s insane this one was really fun to make, esp the second post 😈😈 and also no booker this time so i hope yall like it a bit more lmaooo

#luke hughes x reader #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fanfic #luke hughes #quinn hughes #jamie drysdale #trevor zegras #jack hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #mark estapa #ethan edwards #dylan duke #mackie samoskevich #rutger mcgroarty #adam fantilli #luca fantilli

[welcometomyoasis]

Seventeen with a s/o who works on an animal farm

Synopsis: what would seventeen’s reactions be like when you tell him you work/ live on an animal farm in the countryside. Svt x gn! reader | fluff | approx. 3950 words | no warnings | requested by anon

🍒 Seungcheol is extremely fascinated when you tell him. 

Two thoughts immediately come to his mind. First, what do you do on the animal farm and is it a lot of work? Second, he thinks of you lying in a field being surrounded by fluffy animals. You’re already the cutest bean ever but you and animals? He doesn’t think his heart can take that sight. 

When you do get a chance to bring him back to the farm, seungcheol follows you around to get a sense of what you do. What needs to be done, which animals need more care, how do you feed them. He knew you worked hard but seeing you in your element and how much work goes into working on an animal farm? He falls in love with you all over again. To help, he becomes your handyman. It’s a farm, equipment and fencing can break down. He fixes everything for you. He even builds you a whole new chicken coop. He doesn’t want you to get hurt by the stiff wires. 

Seungcheol’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The chicken coop. He built it. You can find him there gathering eggs in the morning. He even starts feeding them with a special blend of food. He did research on what would be best for the chickens to keep them healthy. So, the chickens adore him. The rooster? Not so much. It tried asserting that the coop was its territory and flew at seungcheol. He just grabbed it in one swoop and now the rooster is really scared. Anyway, of course, the coop is called coup’s coop. 

😇 Jeonghan lets out the most adorable squeal and giggle when you tell him. 

Listen, jeonghan loves anything cute. Pet rocks, dino, fishes, animals, you. He’s so excited when he finds out. He asks you a million and one questions on what life is like working there. What kinds of animals do you have? Are there baby animals? Can he go visit the farm? Actually wait. Can he move there? You can become that animal farm owning couple. 

Jeonghan actually hops and skips out of the car when you arrive. He makes a beeline for the animals. His excitement is so contagious because you both skip around the farm hand in hand as you give him a tour. He looks at you with stars in his eyes when you tell him about each of the animals and what their names are. You’re just so caring and gentle. You even manage to notice the tiniest details like how petunia the pig has a flower shaped mole on her right leg. His days with you on the farm are some of the most relaxing days of his life. He’s surrounded by adorable animals and you! 

Jeonghan’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The brooder! It’s where the baby chicks are. He actually got to witness the chicks hatching and fell in love there and then. He goes to check in on the chicks at every chance he gets. They’ve actually imprinted on him. When the chicks get a little older and they can roam around, they follow him in one straight line. The happiness on his face makes you forgive him for abandoning you when you’re doing chores to go play with the chicks. It’s one of the most adorable sights you’ve ever seen!

🦌 Joshua makes heart eyes at you when you tell him. 

He knows you have an incredibly warm heart, but to know that you work with animals? It does something to him that he can’t explain. You’re like an angel. He listens so attentively when you tell him about your life working on the animal farm. Joshua’s from LA so there is a pretty big difference in your lifestyles. He wants to be able to mould himself to your lifestyle.

He is a gentleman. He carries all the heavy pails and other things that needs to be carried when you go about doing your chores. The feed, water, milk from the cows, barrels of hay. He’s doing it for you. He knows you can do it since you do manage it when he’s not around. But you don’t have to when he’s around. He loves being around you and watching you in your element. The gentleness you exhibit when tending to the animals, the way the animals adore you. He loves that you just walk up to the fence and the fluffy animals are running towards you. He learns about your life and how he can help you by observing you. He sees the animal farm in his future afterall, one he sees with you. 

Joshua’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The bunny enclosure! Joshua adores bunnies. They are so small and cute. They run around, they can act crazy. Best of all bunnies love snuggles. Joshua spends his time feeding the bunnies. He hops around the field with them. He lays on the field surrounded by the pretty flowers cuddling the bunnies. You have to say though, as adorable as that sight is, you’re kind of jealous at how much attention the bunnies are getting. 

🐱 Junhui starts smiling like the Cheshire cat when you tell him.

You live somewhere with animals. In the countryside. Where there are vast open fields. THAT’S PERFECT! HE’S BEEN WANTING TO PERFECT HIS ANIMAL IMPRESSIONS. He shows you his many impressions of the cows, alpacas, horses, cats etc. Definitely would ask you to rate them and give him feedback. 

He’s like an excited child when you arrive. He’s also so inquisitive. Besides doing his animal impressions, much to your amusement, he asks about everything. He wonders what food the animals eat and if it’s tasty. He wonders how you take care of the grumpy bulls and if they will charge at him if he wears red. He has that childlike wonder when he’s exploring your farm. He coos at all the animals because everyone is cute. He finds all the nooks and crannies of your farm that even you didn’t know about. He also falls in love with feeding the animals. He basically takes over your job of feeding them. He even bottle feeds all the babies for you. You do have to pull him away from taking bites out of all the carrots though. 

Junhui’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The pasture where the sheeps graze. He fell in love with the fluffy sheep and the shepherd dog. He starts trying to pick up all the sheep and the shepherd dog like how wile e coyote picks up sheep. He just wants to spin them around. He manages to do it with the smaller, lighter sheep somehow. Why he does it? You never know. It’s junhui, his actions don’t make sense half the time so you let him be. But one day he finds himself being watched by your neighbours. He just stares at them with the o.0 expression before putting the sheep down slowly and running away. 

🐯 Hoshi lets out the loudest scream of excitement when you tell him.

His s/o? Working on an animal farm? You’re the coolest person ever! Can you talk to the animals? Are you an animal whisperer? Are there tigers? You chuckle at his enthusiasm and his pout when you tell him you only have an orange cat that has a few black stripes. He does light up when you tell him that you’ve named the cat Soonie. 

He’s vibrating in excitement when you bring him to the animal farm. He’s a tiger. He can speak to the animals. He goes around introducing himself to all the dogs, cows, cats, horses, fishes, pigs, rabbits etc. They look at him questionably and expectantly. Usually people pet them, feed them, and coo over how cute they are. But this crazy person is just growling at them softly and using his hands like a paw. He tries his best to learn their names and have conversations with them as he follows you around when you do your chores. You could be milking the cows and hoshi would be trying to talk to the cows about how he thinks tigers and cows could be great friends. Like those lions and dogs! It’s funny and really endearing. 

Hoshi’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The alpaca and llama enclosure. To be honest, it’s not his favourite spot but it’s where he is a lot of the time. You see when he was growling at the alpacas, one of them took it as a challenge and spat at him. Hoshi was so offended so now he makes it a point to go back there and scream (softly) at the alpaca who spat at him. Don’t worry at end of the day, they are best friends. Right? That is, until the alpaca spits at him agaim…

🐈‍⬛ Wonwoo smiles at you adoringly when you tell him.

He can see the passion in your eyes as you tell him about the animals on the farm. How you’ve raised them from when they were little, to the losses that you’ve had to endure. The good times and the bad. You embrace all the experiences with an open mind. You learn from the past to make sure that your animals can lead the best lives. 

Okay, he’s not going to lie. He’s a little apprehensive when you bring him to the farm. It’s not that he doesn’t like the countryside or animals. It’s more that he doesn’t know how to help you. This is your territory, your area of expertise. He just feels out of place, that's all. So. You take him by the hand and guide him around the animal farm. You explain all your chores to him and reassure him that he’s there to watch and relax. He doesn’t need to help you. That gets him to loosen up a little. He loves watching you go about your day. He even starts taking photographs of you and the animals throughout the day. His favourite is the one where you smile at him, half covered in mud after tending to the pigs. It just shows your love for your job regardless of how messy it is. 

Wonwoo’s favourite spot on the animal farm? Wherever the cats are! It’s no secret that wonwoo adores cats. You don’t really own the cats? However you do have a little area where strays can come for shelter and food. Wonwoo might not be able to help with other parts of the animal farm, but he finds comfort and solace in taking care of this area for you. He practically adopts all the cats as his own and becomes the cats’ father. The only thing is that you do find your cat area overflowing with strays after some time. Still, wonwoo looks so happy and fulfilled that you can’t bear to make him shoo some of the cats away. You simply expand the cat area after this. 

🍚 Woozi nods along silently taking in your words when you tell him. 

Don’t get him wrong. It’s not that he isn’t supportive or proud of you. He really is. When you tell him you work on an animal farm, it’s more of an “ah okay” moment for him. It’s just a part of who you are and he’s going to accept that. He’s not one to overreact (ahem unlike some people). Of course he is interested, who wouldn’t. Especially since you’re both complete opposites in this respect. His job requires him to be indoors all the time and he hardly sees the sun. But you’re outdoors all the time.

You definitely drag him to see the farm and your animal babies. One, to get him some vitamin D. God knows his skin is as pale as a sheet of white paper. Two, to get him away from the hustle and bustle of his everyday life. Working on an animal farm isn’t easy and you are busy. But to some extent life doesn’t seem so overwhelming or fast paced when you’re surrounded by animals. You get him to enjoy the surroundings, listen to the sounds of nature. You get him to help you out when you’re milking the cows and feeding the baby lambs. You help him to take a step back from his technologically filled life and to enjoy a different way of life. 

Woozi’s favourite part on the animal farm? Surprisingly? The barn. You can often find him sitting under the trees next to the barn watching the horses run free across the field. There’s something liberating and freeing about watching them gallop. Bonus, the barn has great acoustics. He will go there when he finds inspiration to record a short piece of music. He’s practically made a nest for himself in the corner of the barn among the hay and saddles. Yea, you might have to drag him out again before he locks himself in, and the horses out. 

⚔️ DK literally beams when you tell him. 

You swear you were blinded at dokyeom’s smile when you told him you work on an animal farm. He said he could tell you have an affinity for animals the way you always stopped by at the animal shelter near his house to say hi. He’s so enamored by the way you interact with animals and the way they always calm down when you’re near.

Dokyeom practically drags you back to your animal farm. He’s more excited about it than you are. He’s so ready to get suited up to help you. And he does! Specifically, he’s the designated lucky charm of the farm. He visited during the season when several animals were going to give birth. He witnessed the birth of several sheep, two calves, one donkey, and one horse. It blew his mind, and yours. There hadn’t been a time when there were so many births at once, and everything went smoothly? There were no complications at all. So, he gets to name all the new babies. He is the official godfather. He actually hangs around the babies more because he likes watching as they start to walk. It’s cute and funny. You can hear him laughing from across the farm on most days.

Dokyeom���s favourite spot on your animal farm? Anywhere the baby animals are! He is a sunshine baby. The animals adore him and they love his presence. Usually the parents of the baby animals are quite protective, but they will let dokyeom, and only dokyeom near their babies. There’s even a little lamb that keeps following him around. You’ve definitely sang dokyeom had a little lamb to him more than once. 

🐸 Minghao smiles knowingly at you when you tell him.

There’s something about living in the countryside that is so peaceful. When minghao watches you describe your life, surrounded by lovable animals and nature, he understands why you love it. Life in the city is so hectic and you’re surrounded by so many people. It gets overwhelming and it is good that you get to step back from that by physically removing yourself from that environment.

He looks forward to visiting your animal farm. He goes on strolls to take in the scenery. He loves that your day starts and ends early. You can enjoy the morning sunrise and evening sunsets together. While you go about doing your thing with the animals, he’s by your side taking pictures or painting. You are his muse. Seeing you in your element surrounded by nature is inspiring. Of course, he participates in some of the more exciting activities too. If you have to ride on a tractor to tend to the grass patches, he’s right next to you. If you have to ride the atv across the pasture to herd the sheep, he’s clinging onto your back for dear life. Life is about embracing all the new experiences whether it’s restful or life-threatening exciting. He enjoys watching the sheep being herded. He enjoys watching you run after the chickens and gather eggs. He enjoys it so much more since you’re here with him. 

Minghao’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The field in front of where the sheep graze. The light that shines on that area and the scenery behind it against the hills or the vast emptiness of the fields is beautiful. He is entralled by the feeling of tranquility that being there brings him. 

🐶 Mingyu’s smile and eyes get wider with each word you are saying when you tell him. 

This overly excitable puppy of a boyfriend you have adores animals. Despite his large, large frame. He’s just a big ol’ softie inside. Plus, he imagines you all dressed up in overalls, dirt smeared on your cheeks wearing a straw hat. He can’t help it, you said farm. That is the image that is going to be in his head. 

You bring him back to the countryside to see the arm. His eyes are so full of stars when he looks around. He pokes at your arm and grabs onto you tightly as you show him all the animals. He coos at all the smaller animals. But he’s slightly frightened by the larger animals like the bulls, donkeys and alpacas. He insists they are out to get him. Nonetheless, he goes with you when you’re doing your chores. He wears mud boots, and overalls. The only issue is he’s so excited to help you that he is extra clumsy. He runs after you and keeps slipping on the muddy fields. You end up having to abandon your chores to help him clean up. He’s so sulky and whiney that he’s so clumsy. Still, he tried helping and that’s what counts. He made all the mundane tasks of feeding the animals, gathering the eggs, milking the cows more enjoyable.

Mingyu’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The pond! Listen. Large mingyu x tiny things is my roman empire. I imagine that he’s just so fascinated by the ducklings. He waddles after them in a line and it’s so adorable. His affections are definitely returned because you will see him sitting surrounded by the ducklings. 

🍊 Seungkwan has mixed feelings when you tell him.

On one hand, he’s fascinated and so happy at the fact that you work in the countryside because it’s similar to Jeju Island which is where he grew up. You have that in common. Plus, he’s really excited about you being an animal whisperer. Maybe you can tame Hoshi? On the other hand, he’s kind of scared. He is a natural worry wrought and he is worried he won’t be able to adapt to your lifestyle.

You put his worries at ease when you bring him to the animal farm. He finds the routine and the scenery really healing. It’s a break from all the unknown that comes with his life as an idol. He’s incredibly interested in how you administer medication to the animals and how you can tell when one of them isn’t well. Also, he’s not going to lie, he was scared that the animals wouldn’t like him or that they will spit at him, god knows Hoshi has done it before. But he comes to realise that he is really good at handling the animals that do spit - alpacas, llamas. They are somehow just drawn to him and he loves feeding them. They also kind of remind him of seungcheol when they are eating so he can’t help but take a million pictures to send to the seventeen group chat.

Seungkwan’s favourite spot on the animal farm? The fields right at the far end of your farm. It’s a big open area where you sometimes let the animals run around. Most of the time, it is just empty space because it backs up onto someone else’s property. He loves strolling there. Actually, he will 100% suddenly break into song singing the hills are alive with the sound of music. It’s hilarious and it brings him so much joy. 

🐻‍❄️ Vernon’s brows furrow when you tell him.

You don’t have to be worried though. He’s deep in thought about how much fun he’s going to have with all the animals. He wants to ride the horses, play among the sheep, maybe even roll around in the mud with the piglets. You laugh at the serious expression he has on his face, and you promise that he can be one with the animals.

Vernon is actually one of the best people with the animals on your farm. He’s a natural. He learns the ropes quickly during his time there. When he’s around, you don’t need to take on so many things. He soon takes charge of going with the shepherd dog to herd the sheep. And he milks cows really well. He even helps your neighbours when they are really busy. Your whole community has practically adopted him by the end of his time there. You’ve probably joked that he might be better at this than you are. Like, how is he able to get that one annoyingly difficult, fat sheep to stay still enough when it was time to be sheared you will never know. It’s probably Vernon magic. 

Vernon’s favourite spot on the animal farm? Everywhere! He just loves the entire place. The only thing is, he gets easily distracted by all the animals that actually aren’t yours. Obviously, it’s a farm, there are going to be wild animals randomly coming in. Mostly birds, insects. Vernon makes friends with all of them. He’s practically best friends with this one loud bird that loves to squawk early in the morning. 

🦦 Dino decides that this is his chance to show off when you tell him.

Dino is really confident (maybe overly confident?) in his ability to help you when you tell him. He swears that he will be able to help you with all the chores and how much the animals will love him. He says that he’s been living in a zoo for the past 10 years. If he can deal with his 12 members, he can deal with the animals.

He definitely listens so intently when you explain to him what you want him to do on the animal farm. It’s nothing too major. He’s still new at this. So all he has to do is go around, get acquainted with the animals, check on how much water is in their water troughs, and how much food the animals have. Especially those that actually need to be fed some kind of grain or food mix like the birds and bunnies. He takes his task so seriously and returns with no problems. So, you give him some extra responsibilities like taking the grain to the different birds. You have geese, chickens, and ducks. Dino soon realises that these birds do not like him. He swears it is an alternate universe like during the debate night gose when seungcheol said he would become a bird to haunt dino. Because, the geese love to chase him for some reason? Everytime he goes remotely within 10 meters of them, they start honking and flapping their wings aggressively. Maybe he isn’t cut out for this?

Dino’s favourite spot on the animal farm? Your farmhouse. He’s safe from all the geese there. He’s been pecked at, gotten feathers stuck in his hair, and he’s been pooped on several times. You have to reassure him that geese are naturally territorial. He insists the geese are out to get him. Sighing, you just have to leave him wallow in his own self-pity. But on the day you are supposed to leave the countryside to go back to the city with Dino, a goose suddenly appears to attack Dino. Maybe they are really out to get him? 

taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff

#seventeen #caratsland #k-labels #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen headcanons #seventeen reactions #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x reader #joshua hong fluff #junhui x reader #soonyoung x reader #hoshi fluff #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo x reader #woozi x reader #dokyeom x reader #minghao x reader #mingyu x reader #mingyu fluff #seungkwan x reader #vernon fluff #vernon x reader #dino x reader #shu's archive ✎ᝰ.

[darielivalyen]

"Well then, allow me to introduce myself properly." The cow steps back gracefully and curtsies, a playful twinkle in her eye. "I am known by many names, but you may call me the Holy Cow. Think of me as your fairy auntie, here to offer guidance and a sprinkle of whimsy."

Everbloom is a cozy fantasy game set on the idyllic Everbloom Isle, a place where the charm of a simpler life and the warmth of a close-knit community come together. In this tranquil world, you're invited to slow down, cherish the small moments, and find joy in building connections and creating a space where everyone feels at home.

Your journey centers on the dream of opening a teahouse, an aspiration deeply influenced by your longing for independence and a meaningful life. This dream becomes a reality with the inheritance of your grandmother's house on Everbloom Isle. Here, in a setting far removed from the bustle of city life and your family's expectations, you begin the delicate process of building a new life for yourself.

Are you ready to leave behind the monotony and dullness of daily life and build the teahouse of your dreams on Everbloom Isle?

Play as male, female, or nonbinary.

Choose your appearance and personality.

Romance or befriend one of three distinctive characters: a brave knight seeking a new purpose, a mischievous forest guardian who finds joy in life's lighter moments, or an enigmatic elf with a complex past, seeking solace and clarity on Everbloom Isle.

Create and customize your own teahouse.

Cultivate and enhance your grandmother's garden.

Explore Everbloom Isle in search of unique tea saplings.

Interact with a host of quirky characters, from the whimsical Holy Cow and her not-at-all terrible fish choir to giant turtles, winged wolves, and enigmatic fernlings.

Follow a dynamic quest from the Holy Cow that will challenge you to build friendships, honor your grandmother's legacy, and expand your collection of unique teas.

Sir Castian/Dame Castilla Honeycutt

Personality: brave, honorable, old-fashioned, bashful. Blurb: In a land where swords are replaced by teacups, Cast(), a knight accustomed to battles and quests, struggles to find his/her role. Everbloom Isle, with its whimsical ways, challenges him/her to redefine what it means to be a hero. Can you help him/her weave his/her knightly virtues into the fabric of your new home?

Narciso/Narissa Roseblade

Personality: mischievous, lighthearted, adventurous, non-committal. Blurb: Nar()'s presence on Everbloom Isle is like a breeze through the Elder Tree's leaves – light, unpredictable, and full of life. His/her playful antics and seemingly carefree nature captivate those around him/her. Yet, there's a depth in his/her eyes suggesting more than just whimsy. Will you be the one who figures out what really inspires his/her eternal dance through the grove?

Ideru/Ideri Nightingale

Personality: calculating, composed, solitary, adaptable. Blurb: Ider() arrives at Everbloom Isle cloaked in an aura of intrigue, his/her quiet nature standing in stark contrast to the isle’s vibrancy. Amidst the isle's welcoming community, his/her enigmatic presence stirs a sense of curiosity. Will you be the one who digs into his/her mysterious past and discovers what brings him/her to Everbloom?

FORUM | DEMO | TUMBLR | PATREON

#Everbloom #darielivalyen #hosted games #interactive fiction #cozy #if #cozy fantasy #new project #interactive novel #synopsis #announcment #choicescript

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

What Is and Isn't a Fish: a List

A list of the animals I discussed in my fish essay, but for those who don't want to scroll through paragraphs of text to find out if an animal is or isn't a fish. Just CTRL+F your way through here!

I'll add onto here more animals whenever I get asked about them being fish. See my fish essay here!

Some notes before you proceed:

Yes, all tetrapods are fish! We are phylogenetically fish, as we are and our ancestors were lobe-finned fish! "Fish" in the phylogenetic sense is a paraphyletic group if you try to exclude tetrapods, so it is frankly impossible.

How come tetrapods aren't listed as fish then? Long answer, read my essay. Short answer, me and other fish accounts tend to operate on the morphological definition of fish, so does most of the world. Here I use the morphological definition of "fish".

Fish:

Jawless fish

Hagfish

Lamprey

Cartilaginous fish

Sharks

Dogfish

Whale shark

Chimaeras/Chimeras/Ghost sharks

Ratfish

Ray

Stingray

Skate

Ray-finned fish

Teleosts

Catfish

Eels

Moray eel

Seahorse

Sea dragon

Lobe-finned fish

Coelacanth

Lungfish

Not Fish:

Crustaceans

Krill

Shrimp

Crab

Crayfish/Crawfish/Crawdad

Lobster

Spiny lobster

Triops

Mantis shrimp

Barnacle

Isopod

Copepod

Shellfish

Mollusks/Molluscs

Gastropods

Sea snail

Sea slug

Snails and slugs in general

Sea angel

Sea hare

Sea bunny

Cephalopods

Octopus

Squid

Cuttlefish

Nautilus

Inkfish

Bivalves

Clam

Mussel

Scallop

Oyster

Chiton

Chelicerates

Horseshoe crab

Sea spider

Water mite

Diving bell spider

Cnidarians

Jellyfish/Sea jelly/Jelly

Coral

Sea anemone/Anemone

Siphonophores

Portugese man o' war

Echinoderms

Sea cucumber

Sea pig

Feather star

Sand dollar

Sea biscuit

Sea cookie

Brittle star/Serpent star

Sea urchin

Starfish/Sea star

Comb jelly

Lancelet

Tunicates

Sea squirt

Salp

Annelids

Bristle worm

Bobbit worm

Spoon worm

Giant tube worm

Bone-eating worm

Sea mouse/Sea mice

Feather duster worm

Christmas tree worm

Leech

Flatworm

Amphibians

Salamander

Amphiuma

Mudpuppy/Mud puppy

Waterdog

Olm

Axolotl

Siren

Frog

Toad

Tadpole

Caecilian

Reptiles

Sea snake

Water snake

Snakes in general

Sea krait

Turtle

Snapping turtle

Softshell turtle

Sea turtle

Terrapin

Marine iguana

Crocodilian

Crocodile

Alligator

Caiman

Gharial

Bird

Penguin

Seagull

Loon

Swan

Mammals

Whale

Orca

Baleen whale

Toothed whale

Dolphin

River dolphin

Porpoise

Narwhal

Beluga whale

Sperm whale

Pinniped

Seal

Sea lion

Leopard seal

Elephant seal

Walrus

Sirenian

Manatee

Sea cow

Dugong

Otter

Sea otter

Beaver

Hippo

Platypus

Muskrat

Water shrew

#fish guide #fish essay #marine biology #fish #fishfact #fish facts #biology #zoology #long post

[luxudus]

A Home away from Home

My end of an art trade with @grox-empire is finally complete RAAAAGHHHHH. It took me 4 months to work on this while getting distracted by other projects that you'll see in the near future hehehe.

The scene showcases Celeste and Altair's making planetfall on a T3 world. A temperate moon with an atmosphere so dense the sky is a light twilight gradient regardless of the sun's position. This world is still early in it's evolution as no macro predators have evolved yet and the largest animals are no bigger than a cow.

Here she is approached by an Inquisitive native. Who's species are generalist omnivores who forage the fan-blade "grass" with 2 sets of oral tendrils and come together to hunt smaller animals and watch for predators. Hunters that look nothing like the starbound visitors who bring them more comfort than caution.

Surrounding the 3 are several other species of this moon. To the right are a pair of coastal carnivores probing the sand for invertebrates with rudimentary electroreceptors. And scare off rivals and smaller pack hunters with the bright side of their electroreceptor flaps. A pair of flying "fish" closer related to the invertebrates of this world to any terrestrial natives. And large herbivore that rips plants out of the ground with spiraling tentacles and weaponized a skin cancer to transform their front mandibles into grooved horns to fight for mates.

Celeste is overwhelmed by the scenery and the local's curiosity. But not in a bad way. What she loves, life an nature isn't just here, but cranked to 11. She feels love on all sides, by the Aliens' curiosity, the moon's warmth, and Altair's support. For once, she actually feels like she can belong. She finally feels at home away from home

Everyone go check out Alistair's page and their end of the art trade!!!! and make sure to give em a follow :)

#my art #artist on tumblr #art #speculative biology #alien species #spore #spore grox #grox #cloud art #xenobiology

[honeygrahambitch]

I headcanon Hannibal not to be your average bitching cunt cause that's Will. Will is dramatic, vents, gesticulates, walks backs and forth. Imagine he orders himself some fishing rods for example and they send him the wrong models. Every single day during a week, Hannibal has to listen to his venting. He doesn't mind.

Will was a cunt before meeting Hannibal but after he got into this relationship with this man who inflates his ego every single day of his life by literally considering him God, his own self esteem sky rocketed and yeah, more cuntiness. Don't know if it makes sense. Hannibal basically taught him that he deserves the best and he should never expect less than that.

However when it comes to Hannibal, it's the opposite when things don't go his way. If you don't know him, you might as well miss it.

Let's picture this. He and Will are finally building their forever home after a few years of being on the run. And while Will takes care of less artsy matters, such as insulation or gas or running water, things he is good at like choosing pipes and such, Hannibal is taking care of colors, decor, style, you get the point. And obviously the kitchen is such an important part. And he spends a lot of time choosing the right furniture and color schemes and when the tiles arrive and the workers place them on the floor of the kitchen, his whole world shatters.

The corner tiles are not symmetrical.

The workers start finding excuses and Will is waiting for him to blow up but he doesn't. He says nothing. He gets into the car and quietly waits for Will to be done with the workers and start the engine.

Will is terrified of his silence since Hannibal is usually very opinionated. Especially when it comes to his kitchen. So he decides to say something.

"Idiots. They should have been more careful for how much they get paid."

"I suppose." Hannibal replies.

"No, you put so much work into this kitchen. I would be mad too."

"I am not mad. They said they will fix it."

Will is almost annoyed by his lack of reaction.

Later they get to the place where they are living for the time being and Hannibal starts cooking dinner. That's when Will hears the first sigh.

Exactly 20 minutes later, he hears the second sigh. Louder this time, Will can clearly hear it from the living room.

He checks on him and Hannibal says that nothing happened. Will starts helping him by cutting some cheese on a board. That's when Hannibal starts comparing their future house to a well matured cheese. He starts talking about the importance of the hands who take care of the cheese cause sure, time and humidity play an important part, as well as the quality of the cows and goats and their milk but if you want good matured cheese you have to make sure trustable people take care of it.

Will nods and agrees. He understands what he has to do and doesn't ask more questions. The next day he announces Hannibal he had fired the workers and found already better ones.

Hannibal smiles. His Will knows how to read him so well.

#hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc

[messycunt]

Need me more of that Hucow Malleus... and just Diasomnia in general, my favorite boys.

This was supposed to be short but woah boy, strap in because your dumb Hucow au (tone: affectionate) hooked me like a goddamn fish. I did not know I was horny for this. Some of it is requests, some personal headcannons/ideas/sacrificial offerings for your au.

Ummm, for the sake of recognizing me in the future, can I be assigned an anon emoji? IDK which one to pick, but if you're willing to select one based on my vibes, that's cool!

May I request how Mal and his handler's relationship kicked off? He isn't aggressive so I imagine his previous handlers felt intimidated or could just never find Malleus to perform handling duties! So Crowley just had to rotate through staff hoping to find a handler Mal is fond of. Or perhaps Mal chose his handler through a chance meeting...?

In the meantime, I imagine Lilia was a pseudo-handler for Mal but couldn't perform most of the duties due to their familial-platonic relationship. Handler duties seem really intimate.

(Speaking of that... Does the job come with a "you might get fucked by Hucows" disclaimer? Or is that JUST Crowley's farm? If humans and Hucows are equal, do the non-farm Hucows act mostly normal and the farm Hucows choose to lean into their more primal, horny side?)

Also not to be a simp but here's some more things my silly fangirl brain has thought up:

Imagine Malleus disappearing on his handler's days off because he's followed them home (with their permission, after pouting at them the whole day) and is enjoying a domestic weekend? Cooking home made meals for them, playfully doing a role-reversal where he is the "human's handler" which is mostly him insisting on doing chores, assisting with basic things like hair brushing, then being confused when he has to use technology to do things like "washing clothes" or "running the dish washer" or "turning on the radio." But altogether it's really wholesome because he wants to show his appreciation for his handler by doing for them what they do for him! Unfortunately, with how tall he is, a few holes do get poked into the cieling at your house.

Hucow Malleus who won't ever cross his handler's boundaries, but is very touch starved and needy, so he'll often make offers that involve physical touch and close proximity, then pout the rest of the day if you say no. Typically he just makes offers a little too soon. For example, after only a few weeks, offering to let his you stay in his personal quarters with him instead of the communal handler sleeping quarters. Lilia suggests he ask again after a few months. Malleus never stays sulking for long- how could he when his favorite handler is around? I imagine he has big regal looming eldrich entity energy but is very soft and gentle at the heart. He likes hearing about your life experiences, especially travel. Being a show cow means that Crowley tries to keep extremely close tabs on him when traveling for shows and Mal hardly gets to enjoy any of the local culture. He's pretty adamant on having you brought a long for business-related travel. That way, he's technically being supervised when he sneaks away with you to see the sights!

Hucow Lilia being so very fond of pranking his handler, whose care he barely needs. He'll playfully make care tasks difficult on purpose, but stops just before you can get frustrated or upset. If he accidentally crosses the line, sometimes he'll even finish the care task himself without help! Which shouldn't be physically possible in most cases, but he'll take his secrets to the grave.

Hucow Lilia who is a "retired" show bull (again, claiming he's "too old" for it) but can easily perform his old routines without breaking a sweat. If any of the young cows aspiring to be show bulls need, he's glad to train them! But his training is a little... unconventional and most young cows will pass on the offer. But it must be effective since he was- still is- Malleus's sole show mentor. I imagine Lilia mostly sticks around the farm because of his Diasomnia family and because he likes helping raise the calves. With supervision from Vil, who makes sure his parenting methods aren't too crazy and, more importantly, ensures he never cooks.

Imagine Silver being the easiest Hucow to handle for because hes just so chill and sleepy. If anything, the hardest part sometimes is waking him up long enough to get him to move to a different spot for Hucow care! He easily accepts his handler's assistance but also offers to help with tasks like carrying milk or fixing a fence. He is also very likely to fall asleep on their lap for hours and make their legs go numb. The best part about being his handler is definitely that he'll let you pet and stroke his pelt pretty much the second you become his handler. He's very duty-bound and, as such, trusts you implicitly to do yours.

Unlike Silver, Hucow Sebek is very unwilling to rely on his handler. Lilia has had to scold him many times on letting you do their job. Sebek tries to relent, but he will still complain, especially if it's a new care task or routine. To him it's a matter of pride and proving he doesn't have to depend on others. Especially since he's fond of you- he can't let himself look WEAK by relying on you, right? But if you twist your words just a bit- say that he's helping you by letting you do something or need him to remind you how it's done- he's suddenly eager to show you. He'll preen under your praise and, if you want to make him really happy, ask him to do little things for you, like reaching something on a tall shelf or asking for his advice on a personal matter... he'll absolutely glow with pride knowing you value him. Also, Hucow Sebek eventually gets to a point where he'll WEEP when you're gone the same way he does when Malleus is away for a show and he can't come with.

Now, after brainrotting a bit, I have two more requests and they are HORNY...

My first request is some size kink shit with Hucow Malleus and his handler. I'm LIVING for the idea of getting split in half by his literal prize cock with him cooing praise over his tiny little handler being able to take it. Big soft Dom vibes, even when he's being rough, just so much love in his giant dragon Hucow body.

My second request is Sebek getting blue balls and his handler insisting on "relieving" him because he's trying to power through it until it "dies down" or some dumb shit. But once he relents, he's DONE for. Nearly begging to breed his handler, pressing them up against a wall or some shit, kind of "dom but tsundere" vibes? 100% consensual and instigated by the handler tho.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK!!!!

I'm happy my insanity is what turned you to the hybrid kink side n I love all of your ideas please do stick around

uhmmmm how does milk(🥛) anon sound?

cw: hybrids(hucows), breeding kink, begging, dacryphilia(jus overwhelmed tears I think its cute), not proofread so sorry if it's all nonsense characters: malleus, lilia, silver, sebek

malleus is far from violent and doesn't have a reputation as such, he doesn't even playfully nip or headbutt like kalim and ace sometimes do, but his strength and stature are probably what scared some of his handlers off in the past if they weren't frustrated by how much he loves to disappear the hour before shows that is.

I imagine you being some intern handling some other cow that malleus just gravitates towards for one reason or another. when track is lost of him he's found in your general area or waiting somewhere he'll know you'll be soon(yes he subconsciously memorized your schedule) but you didn't seem to mind. this is great from crowleys perspective though, it's an obvious and easy fix, by making you malleus' handler he doesn't have to worry about switching them out every month… or paying both fees for fairs that he never ended up attending.

♡

trying to find a way to say this that isn't crude but well when am I not; fucking the hucow you're in charge of handling isn't part of the job technically but isn't frowned at too much either, not on crowleys farm anyway tho i wouldn't put it past the old bird to have made separate agreements w handlers that do require them to tend to their bulls more intimate needs, with a -barelynoticeable- pay increase of course. other establishments do have regulations in place to prevent it, seeing it as unprofessional at worst. it works on "a you break it you buy it" type of policy so you wouldn't wanna be the guy who knocks up a prize heifer who's starting bid is 70k.

♡

lilia makes for a fun cow to handle if anything, uh granted you're not brand new to working on the farm that is, alot of his ways of teasing newbies is borderline hazing, outside of that he's like a fun grandpa. he is banned from the industrial kitchen tho the closest he's allowed to get to cooking is supervised potato peeling duty if jamil has anything to say about it. I also imagine lilia being cuddly once he gets comfortable enough with you! lots of hugs, cheek kisses and headpats(he likes giving and receiving them) happen between the two of you.

♡

silver takes his responsibilities very seriously and would do well w a handler who's equally task minded but not to the point theyll outright refuse his assistance, though a little downtime never hurt anybody… I mean you told crowley you'd probably have silver milked by noon so it's not like you promised or anything, plus he looks cute resting so peacefully.

♡

now if anyone needs a reminder to relax every once in a while it's sebek. but once you catch onto the fact that he's just a little bit, maybe kinda sorta trying to be a show off cus he has a itty-bitty tiny crush on you(even if lilia had to point it out for you) it makes the job so much easier. yells your name and trots up to you so excitedly during morning role call every. single. day. his body language is super easy to read even if he's trying his best to act aloof about how he feels, especially early on, the way his tail swishes around wildly when you pat his arms while giving him compliments always give him away.

hucow sebek is one prideful n stubborn animal, even in rut. you offered to help him the first few days of it and why wouldn't you? I mean it's not in your job description, probably but you don't mind helping the poor thing out. he refuses the first 2, 3 and then 4 times so you decide not to push him. something about how malleus wouldn't stoop down so low as to take a cheap shortcut offer(he would) such as the one you've presented him with, even tho he does really want to he didn't verbalize that last part ofc.

when he does finally fold he's desperate and sweaty and mumbling nonsense about how you were right and he's sorry and he doesn't deserve you and you are also both very much behind the practice showroom out in the open. you can feel tears and sweat drench the back of your shirt. sebeks large hands are gripping at your hips and tummy like his life depends on it. his thrusts are sloppy and inexperienced but they work to fuel the fire growing inside of you nonetheless.

he hasn't stopped talking the whole time either. he's loud like always but it's what he's saying that's surprising to you. begging you go let him cum in you over and over until neither of you have any strength left and promises to be the best father he could possibly be if you do end up taking his calf. it's just his rut talking, you think, it has to be. not that you'd mind

♡

by the time sebek gives you a break hours have already passed and he slips his dick out of you still some what hard. he insists on carrying you back to his quarters, with intentions of continuing there obviously.

whoever was practicing for next weeks show that afternoon sure did get an earful

i did get a few other asks about hucow malleus n his breeding kink if you're reading this and you sent one of them I didn't forget you ok kiss kiss, so ill keep this ask in mind when answering those <3

#twst #ask! #hybrid au! #twst smut #wrk! #malleus x reader #sebek x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver twst x reader