#mortifying ordeal of potentially being known

[fumifooms]

Heyoooo. I wanted to say, I'm sorry about that mean-ass, insulting anon you got a while back. That ask ended up pissing me off so bad I ended up actually reading your Marchil analysis posts. Originally, I was meh and kinda confused when the ship showed up in Ao3 because I didn't see what people liked about it. Reading your posts about how they were narrative foils opened my mind more, and I realized, Oh shit yeah there's a lot of potential in this ship for how these two can develop each other.

Part 2: Marcille and Chilchuck may not have scenes like the infamous bath scene with Farlin, but the concept of someone who's terrified of being alone, the reality of her friends' mortality, a hopeless romantic catching feelings for a repressed, divorced man whose wife left him--okay yeah, I absolutely understand the appeal of this ship. Marcille would be like, Why the fuck is my heart thrumming for this sharp-tongued bitch, and also the terror from falling in love with someone so short-lived Part 3: Either way, love your analysis posts. I am going to be contemplating the potential of Marcille and Chilchuck for a long while. There is something so tragically sweet about it

You get it, you really do… I could list off everything I love about them but I’d be here forever because it’s literally everything and there are so many fun ways to spin it… You’re very right about them being tragically sweet, overall where their arcs meet the most is "Loving is something worth doing even with the risk of loss", and I say risk but really it’s more the inevitable eventuality of it as canon does love to point out. If you want the reward of being loved you must go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. No love however brief is wasted. Let me see you and stay. It’s very much sort of the final boss to their arcs for them to get invested in each other in such a way, to get involved romantically— emotionally with someone knowing what’s coming and that she barely has two decades left with him (who mistreats his health so much he very well could die early), and to shoot your shot for something new with hope in your heart and enough confidence that you’re worth loving. He’s not a prince charming but to her he sort of is, all virtuous husband this reliable dependable Chilchuck that, all "you may be flawed but I’ll still romanticize your qualities and convince you that you and your love for your beloved are something worth fighting for".

What if I was old bread that solidified to be hard as rock and you were like warm soup and by soaking in your presence I softened……… What if you stubbornly grew on me like yeast and it brought out my flavor like beer as I opened up and allowed you in………. What if your hair was golden, the epitome of beauty to me, and my hair turned silver, your worst nightmare……. I think about them a normal amount

#And as always i am working on my marcille & chil arc analysis it’s just taking forever n also my job is ramping up rn… #Ask #Ask was sent on april 8th for the record #Dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #Marchil #it has it all. the halfling and the elf the social expectations the self-inflicted repression… #Like I don’t think there’ll ever be another ship like marchil tbh #Chilchuck tims #marcille donato #The post is so serious now but in tags I can say: ty this sorta ask means a lot to me!! Stays on the mind and makes me feel positive #In good news. We are suffering from our success (happy 60 fics on ao3!!) but we are also winning from our sufferings (hello spite shippers) #For every marchil hate comment a new marchil shipper is made sorry i don’t make the rules #This is a good summary of the ship’s appeal i feel… Non-exhaustive of course but still #Peace and love on planet earth <3 #Fumi rambles

[slashscreen]

Concept art for a The Owl House-inspired open world RPG

Here's a bit of concept art for an Owl House-inspired open world RPG I've been cooking up in my free time.

I'm not ready to reveal a title or more detailed info although god knows I have a lot floating around inside of my brain. What I can say, however, is the Premise:

An undead scientist, attempting to build a teleporter, accidentally brings you, a human, into a grotesque but whimsical world of witches, centaurs, elves, dwarves, and demons- and where humans have been extinct for a thousand years. What starts as a simple quest to find a way home turns into an archipelago-trotting adventure with strange cults, otherworldly beings, dark secrets, and where all life on the planet is at stake.

So far I have been designing this game to have more of a focus on memorable characters and customization (read: dress-up) than strictly combat, which is something I have found lacking in other games. (I've realized I've been writing this sort of like a cartoon, so I'll lean into it and see where this goes. This means that yes, there will be a beach "episode". Tug on my balls one by one, Disney. I'm not sure how, but it will happen.)

I don't have any character/species concept art I am willing to show at the moment, because I'm currently redesigning the visual style of the game. Sorry! I'll share it soon, though.

Also, you get a grappling hook. So there's that.

Other general info:

Q) Does this take place in The Owl House universe? A) No. This is not an Owl House AU/Fan game. It's its own thing with its own rules and lore, but borrows heavily from the show. It might be helpful to this on this as like Vast Error and Homestuck.

Q) Is there actually a game being actively made? A) Yes! There's not much to see, though. It's still at the "Everything is a cube and a capsule" stage of development; I'm focusing on getting a solid foundation laid rather than making any visible progress, which is important for a large-scale game. I've made significant progress, though: I estimate I am about 75% done with the base gameplay elements and making it, you know, playable. For the technically inclined, I have done the following (from the perspective of someone familiar with the Skyrim Creation Kit): - Cell streaming (plugin) - Cross-cell persistence - Goal Orientated Action Planning for NPCs - Lua/Moonscript VM for programming AI and acting as the equivalent of Papyrus (Plugin/my own work) - Player like movement and stuff - Dialogue using the Yarn plugin - NPC inter-cell navigation (think exterior to interior. Very difficult.) - Granular world simulation using Unity's DOTS - Physical properties of items (Systems game stuff, like Breath of the Wild) - You can harvest plants! Holy shit - You can read books

Q) Can I play the game right now? A) Hell no. Not yet, anyway. I'll release an alpha demo at some point, though, which will include: - The Marrows (Right arm of island), the first of currently 8 Prefectures (Analogous to Skyrim's Holds), which itself contains 1 city, 3 towns, 4 regions (geographically distinct areas. Two of them are pictured in the art above) - 30 ish quests? - Representative gameplay - Introduction to the major characters and the antagonist (This world's Belos and Hunter)

Q) What kind of mood is this world going for? A) Mostly lighthearted with some serious moments.

Q) What other influences does this world have? A) Lots. - FLCL (Should be apparent in the combat) - The Elder Scrolls (duh) - Bloodborne - Amphibia - Hyper Light Drifter

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I can't promise I will be willing to answer them, though. But then again, I am always happy to blab on and on about the world that live inside my mind.



#the owl house #concept art #rpg #open world rpg #the elder scrolls #uh #unity3d #indie dev #toh #amphibia #what else do tumblr people put in tags #or right full sentences #im nervous about sharing this #pressure is on #mortifying ordeal of potentially being known #screw disney #i am god

[amethystsoda]

I never realized how affirming it would be to have a plus sized best friend before this weekend...

One of the girls who works at Starbucks and I had gotten closer and finally hung out!!! She's also plus size and a nerd and a cosplayer.

We literally had so much fun pointing out blatant cosplay companies' fatphobia or how underwear from a "plus size" brand is awful and talking about what brands we liked or even just sharing similar health experiences...

The joy of being understood, known, and seen in a way I hadn't had before was really sweet ;w; <3

#amethyst rambles #fatphobia mention #maybe the mortifying ordeal of being known is ok #plus she also loves food so like #potentially more ice cream or tea dates soon #girl

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

You mean I have to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known all OVER again now??!?

#done got dumped #a friendly amicable dumping but still #now i have to recover #and then spend who knows how many years again looking for someone worth my time #someone who at least seems worth trying to let in #the mortifying ordeal of being known #I don't wanna have to make myself vulnerable again #all of the 'I'm like -this- can you like me anyway' little potentials for rejection #can you like me despite my body and my health problems and my cptsd and everything else wrong with me #can i offer enough to be worth your time and affection #will i even be enough for someone to really want #texts to nobody

[neodarkdark]

“There must be something you fear.”

Comments/questions to send on anon

"Well, SURE! There probably is something out there that would really freeze me to my core... the world's a big place filled with a lot of weird stuff! But whatever that is, I haven't found it yet!"

Well, mysterious stranger? What do you think it might be that would truly strike fear into his apathetic heart?

#who's that knocking at your door? (inbox) #anon #catch me if you can (ic) #one potential answer is the mortifying ordeal of being known (but only if it's against his will)

[senblades]

Just realized that Crow and Violet enter the Phantom thieves group with the same condition, though not the same circumstances.

They both first Joined as a fake of themselves, fooling everyone. Then they were a 2-phase boss fight, where the true self gets revealed. Then they join the team, for good and for real.

Hmmmmmmmmm

ANON YOU'RE SO RIGHT I'M

I'll always be a little sad that Atlus never went all-in on the SumiGoro friendship/parallels potential... o7 another fallen dynamic for the pit

in all seriousness, though: many people have talked about the Akechi and Sumire parallels far better than I ever could, but I'll talk some more anyway!

I think the most obvious parallel is in who they admire/resent. Sumire, obviously, admires Kasumi in every way- undercut with resentment that she's scared to ackowledge. Akechi, meanwhile, resents Joker to hell and back, undercut with layers of admiration that he refuses to admit to (+ uh. shauke angst HAHA)

Both are lying to themselves about their other halves, but even more interestingly: Both Kasumi and Joker see Sumire and Akechi respectively as their equals/rivals, despite everything, and even though it may seem that one half is clearly better than the other at first glance.

Sumire's coach, during the Faith confidant, tells Sumire how Kasumi had worked so hard because she knew if she didn't, Sumire would catch up to her- that Kasumi was jealous of Sumire's grace (Ironic, as meanwhile Sumire was desperate to emulate Kasumi's boldness)

Joker's a bit different -silent protag, and all- but, even still: "I'll hold onto you're glove", "I won't lose"- so much of Joker's dialogue about Akechi makes it clear that he takes the other seriously. Plus, the consistent reminders that the promise for a rematch hasn't been fulfilled: clearly, Joker doesn't consider the interrogation room nor the engine room 'fair fights', or true indicators of either's skill (stop me before I go on a tangent)

It's not just Joker=Kasumi and Sumire=Akechi, though. The fact that both sides of each equation are equals means that some lines get crossed. I'm thinking Kasumi's "Because that's my right, as the elder sister!" vs. Akechi's "Going all out against a junior seems a bit gauche, don't you think?"- both Kasumi and Akechi seem to have this idea that they have to be better (a bit of speculation on my part, for Kasumi)- they have no excuse to lose; it's only natural if they win, and incredibly dissapointing otherwise.

back to crow/violet parallels, they also act as excellent foils for each other in the royal trio dynamic: Sumire, when faced with low self-esteem and terrible circumstances, latches onto people that she considers "better"- imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all! And Sumire has imitation in spades.

Akechi, meanwhile, distances himself from pretty much everyone. He seems to value shallow praise of people that don't really see, rather than experience the mortifying ordeal of being known, and whatnot.

but even then, Akechi does have some similar tendencies to Sumire- he just hides it under layers of deflection and lying to himself. He claims to absolutely hate Shido and Joker, and while I don't doubt that, necessarily, it's clearly far more complicated than that. Akechi, no matter how he feels about them, lives and dies by the will of his obsessions- and by the time of the third semster, he's had enough. (while, conversely, Sumire hasn't quite learned to stand on her own)

Actually, speaking of the third semester; Maruki's reality also highlights some similarities between the two, as the two people most egregiously edited by the false reality: Sumire, back to believing she's Kasumi, and Akechi as "I've never had a violent thought in my life!" pleasant boy. Those two are the only members of the PT where Maruki goes straight for the personality.

whoops. long post HAHA

#asks #persona 5 #goro akechi #sumire yoshizawa #kasumi yoshizawa #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #I'm on a roll with these word vomit posts

[happyheidi]

Dr Heidi,

A secret, you say?

No one knows me entirely. I hide my political beliefs from this person, religious beliefs from that person, a prominent hobby from that person. These people are all the closest people in my life to me, and I keep something from all of them. Sometimes I tell myself it's to keep the peace. Or keep them from bothering me. But really I think it's because I'm scared. I had to hide myself when I was younger and in some ways I've never stopped. I've been working on it. I've quit lying so much, and I keep fewer secrets. But I do keep them.

How do you face the mortifying ordeal of being known? How do I become brave enough go share my truths with people I claim to love? (That I do love) (But selfishly. They confide their truths to me and I pretend I'm telling them all of mine in return) (how long until one of them discovers a truth? It's been years. My mother has known me my whole life. My best friend, over a decade. Others, several years) (how do I fess up my secrets?)

Damn this is almost like reading an ask from myself. I keep lots to myself. I don’t usually share things either. I keep way too much in, so I’m kinda asking the same thing as you. BUT I see no harm in keeping certain things from others but hmm..

it’s tricky… cus when u share, u bare. and that is scary. you wouldn’t want to be judged by who you actually are, so why allow yourself to be judged at all? I totally understand it. One has to be brave to be seen like that. If that makes sense? So you’re careful as to what u put out there to potentially be “judged” but not the innermost YOU.

You can try with smaller truths. Spread them out with your family and friends and see how they react (don’t go with the politic at first cus that’s the toughest thing and what brings most arguments etc) but small things u share that’s really TRUE to you. Then more and more over time. I think it’s important to keep something to yourself tho! Don’t think this helped so much but it’s good to just get things of ur chest! Hope u start sharing a little bit this year. ❤️

It’s so interesting how so many of these asks are relatable to (I’ve started answering many but ended up saving them to drafts; so sorry if I haven’t answered yours but I relate so damn much to so many of you !!)

#this could almost be me asking so I feel like im answering myself here #and giving myself a little pep talk #it’s not dr heidi it’s high-dee for sure so yeah #but yeah #lol #ask

[lirance]

constantly thinking about the unsettling potential of caseywake because like, alan was inadvertently peering into this dude's whole life, privy to moments he had no rights to and shouldn't have been made public, but at the same time alan had zero fucking idea what was going on. like why would he? why would Known Skeptic Alan Wake who gets mad about homeopathy ever think he was fucking psychic?

imagine casey's walls crumbling and he decides yeah, okay, let's give this a shot, wake didn't intend any of this and he's not that bad I guess, but alan just keeps doing little things that ARE nice, ARE thoughtful, but are based on intimate knowledge that casey definitely hasn't signaled to him yet -- how he takes his coffee, his likes and interests, anticipating his lunch orders or whatever, small things like that

and like yes it's sweet, yes he's being thoughtful, no he's not doing any of this on purpose, but it's still so strange to have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known by a guy that he doesn't reciprocally know

especially when it starts to get into the matter of physical intimacy, how and where and when casey like to touch and be touched, alan taking him apart like a swiss watch without much effort at all, and at some point casey just has to go NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE because it's just too fucking weird

#caseywake #alan wake 2 spoilers

[binart]

Just saw a notification that you followed me back and ?????

Thanks but also

Noooooo your aware of my existence

HAH AH YES, THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN, I UNDERSTAND.

sometimes it's still wild to me that people will see me interact with them on the internet and be like "aaa omg it's u" meanwhile i am there, bbq sauce on my titties like "?? yes it is i?"

with all that said, if u would prefer i not follow u because of the potential anxiety that could bring lemme kno 👍

#binask

[shslskaterboy]

Finding it fascinating to see the non 0 amount of persona fans out there who interpret Ryuji’s character as being homophobic, and even more baffling than that are the examples people keep citing like. “Well what about that time in shinjuku!?” (<- was literally being harassed, very good excuse to be uncomfortable) or “but he doesn’t like it if you try to confess to him at the dance-“ No. stop. What are you even talking about. Not only is he not the only one who reacts that way, but who wouldn’t react that way?? Have we all forgotten what it’s like to be 16-17 and everything in the world is the most mortifying ordeal known to man? I’m gay as hell- real bona fide boy liker- and if some guy tried to pull that shit on me I would also tackle him off the stage. Not to mention the idea that him being attracted to women somehow also equates being the resident homophobe? Like yeah sometimes he makes comments like “wouldn’t you rather have a girl here?” But that’s not necessarily even internalized homophobia, it’s just compulsory heteronormativity (which is not the same thing!!) Idk all I’m saying is that he just. Isn’t like that? He has no problems with his masculinity, he never makes comments about trying to be more of a man or even equating sexuality to masculinity, and he has NO problem openly displaying affection to Joker, so where is the idea of internalized homophobia even coming from? Is it just bc Yosuke is the king of internalized homophobia and best friend guy=same character? Bc if so then I’m begging people to pay any more attention to Ryuji than literally none at all, because while he does seem to have potential problems when it comes to examining his own sexuality, there is truly no reason to assume he would ever have a problem with it

#hmm. that turned into slightly more of an essay than I intended #but fuck it whatever #I have been thinking about it all day #and I’m the Ryuji guy so I had to say it #ryuji sakamoto #persona 5 #p5 #skaterboy speaks #about: Ryuji <3 #boy do I hope this was coherent

[cookinguptales]

While I do think Arthur's characterization (and the relationship in general) gets much more compelling as the series continues on, I do really like this aspect of their relationship even in s1.

(And, while I'm not about to talk about it now, I do also love how we see the beginnings of John's fascination with and respect for Arthur's detective work here.)

(more thoughts on forced proximity, the violation of being known without your consent, and the intimacy of giving that consent under a cut)

I think one of the really compelling parts of Malevolent and the relationships it's building is this concept of... being known, I guess, and the implicit horror (but potential comfort) in being unable to hide who you really are.

I think we all have our own issues when it comes to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. but we haven't found ourselves in a situation where we are almost physically incapable of remaining unknown by another person. Arthur (and his various hangers-on) has found himself in this unenviable position -- and worse, he has not even gotten to choose who gets to see him.

Both Arthur and John attempted to hide intrinsic parts of themselves from the other very early on, but realized eventually, with frustration and exhaustion and a small amount of comfort, that it was going to be impossible to hide from each other. John couldn't hide who he really was, a sliver of an eldritch being who delights in torture and madness. Arthur couldn't hide his past, either, not forever.

The two of them are almost forced to lay bare their most intimate and private memories, fears, and neuroses -- and to hope that the other won't use it against them.

(Newsflash: they both use it against each other.)

Even here, fairly early into the series, Arthur is coming to realize that John understands him. He may not like it (and John doesn't either), but there's a peculiar mixture of frustration and weary acceptance, maybe even a little bit of affection, in the way John talks about him here. And Arthur is forced to accept that John isn't wrong. He does watch Arthur, and Arthur is starting to feel unpleasantly seen.

The two of them will peel away each other's protective layers as the series progresses, and John will come to understand Arthur's guilt, self-loathing, and self-destructive tendencies. Arthur will come to understand John's guilt and confusion and desperate need to believe that even the most monstrous among us can be saved.

And then, y'know, right as we're starting to feel comfortable with the two of them, too, right as they've kind of ironed out this weird, codependent relationship between them, the two are separated. John is replaced with Yellow.

This is where things get kind of interesting, imo. Because John and Yellow are similar, but not entirely the same. There's a whole nature vs. nurture vs. purposeful minefield argument to be had here, but I'll talk about that some other time. The fact of the matter is that, by this point, Arthur had mostly pushed past the agony of being known because he had found a creature that knew him intimately -- and loved him nevertheless. Who accepted him.

Yellow came to know Arthur, too. Was given a confession that even John didn't know yet. And he didn't accept Arthur.

Arthur didn't accept him, either.

So you have both sides of it, really, and the intrinsic horror of being unable to hide from a roommate inside your own mind. Arthur and John hated being known, but came around to it in the end because they grew comfortable with even all the worst parts of each other. There was a sort of tentative acceptance there, and one that they both desperately needed. They have both consented to being known, for the most part, because they have consented to trust each other with that knowledge.

But what happens when they don't come around? When they don't accept you? When you have no ability to hide from a person who has nothing but contempt for you, and there will never be trust shared between you?

That gets toxic very quickly.

You come to realize how lucky the two of them were to find common ground eventually, even if it was largely bonding through shared trauma, and how easily things could have been much, much worse.

And then, y'know, we don't just have to compare John and Arthur's relationship with that of Arthur and Yellow. We can also compare it to all of the humans in Arthur's life, ones that John seems to be getting increasingly frustrated with.

Once Arthur goes to New York, you really see how much of his life has been dominated by his refusal to be known. He wouldn't open up to the mother of his child, to the child, to his father-in-law, not really. He sealed a part of himself away from them, and in refusing to be known, never really fully came to know them, either. He denied himself these relationships.

But Arthur is changing, isn't he, and it's probably partially due to him becoming more comfortable being known through his relationship with John. He's opening up to his FIL. He's opening up to Noel.

And then there's Oscar. In Oscar, we see something interesting, and something that John seems to find deeply threatening.

Oscar is sort of a mirror image of John in some ways, except the intimacy he offers Arthur isn't forced. He let Arthur in on purpose. He told him about his past on purpose. He genuinely likes Arthur, wants to know him, wants to be known by him, and wants to be with him. It's the first time since perhaps Parker that Arthur's been in a position to know and be known in a healthy manner.

It's one of the first times he's been in a position to choose to be known, and to some degree, he does let Oscar see him. He does it because he wants to, not because he has to. He sees Oscar as a friend and potential partner, not just one more uneasy, forced ally.

While I believe that John's insistence on leaving Oscar behind is largely connected to whatever the hell's going on with Kayne, I do think there's also a bitter jealousy in him that covers up quite a bit of insecurity. He knows that Arthur doesn't have a choice about being with him, and here he sees Arthur being presented with a choice -- and wanting to take that choice. He sees Arthur wanting to be known by a person, a human, a person who can give Arthur a lot of things John can't. Stability. A physical partner to touch and hold and aid him. Understanding. True comfort.

Humanity.

But most of all, John sees the allure of being in a relationship where Arthur can truly choose how much of himself to give. He sees that Arthur wants to give in a way that he didn't want to give himself to John, not initially, and that mostly happened because Oscar gave himself first. Which is a thing that John still can't do, not entirely. Arthur knows him more intimately than John has ever been known before, but... he's still hiding things, isn't he?

And, due to their forced proximity and shared affection, it's killing him.

So... in the end, I do think it's very interesting. The way that the monstrousness of John and Yellow and the KIY in general is the way that your mind is not safe from them. There is no place in you that is truly private or your own. And true intimacy can't come from privacy torn from you -- only of privacy freely given.

I think John's seeing the difference now, though Arthur might not have entirely figured out what he's feeling yet. John is realizing that though Arthur trusts him now, so many of their shared experiences were extremely nonconsensual. He'll never have quite what Arthur can have with a person like Oscar because Arthur can choose to be more or less honest with him, but he can't choose whether or not to give himself to John the way he can with another human like Oscar. He'll never have the intimacy of being... chosen, y'know?

And I know that in some ways Arthur has chosen John, and in some very aggressively overt ways. But John also knows that it wasn't always going to end that way. It certainly didn't with Yellow. And he suspects that if he and Arthur hadn't been forced together for so long, it probably would have ended up like Yellow.

That's gotta sting.

I think... Arthur knows that, too, really. It's part of what scares him about John losing parts of himself. He's so codependent with John by now, to the point where temporarily losing him was deeply traumatic for him. He was also confronted with the knowledge that if the two of them had had any choice in the matter, they probably wouldn't have eventually come to love each other the way they did.

Which means that... no, he really can't believe that some version of John will always come back to him. And if John loses his memories again, as he seems to be doing now, he may never get him back again. There will be no second chances, just other versions of the Yellow debacle.

idk man. It's just... forced proximity vs the intimacy of choice vs the love we have that truly is only based on the memories we've built with others. It's all a part of the mortifying (if not deeply traumatic) ordeal of being known, and it's one of the parts of the series that I find by far the most interesting.

#I guess I'll start doing more in-depth posts about this as I go #I do have a lot of thoughts about these characters #and a relisten is a good enough time as any to start delving into them #malevolent podcast

[leglessstreetlights]

-*Slides in*- So, what inspired you to shove three Leos in an wasteland?

-*Leans in and shouts over the sounds of an intense game of uno*- The idea of a future Leo being confronted by two different stages of his past, of present Leo coming to terms with where he came from and where he could have ended up, and of past Leo being shown two different potential futures for himself, all the while they are experiencing the Mortifying Ordeal of being Known, except instead of judgement its a resounding echo of "i cannot find it in me to love myself, but i can love you instead, and hope that it's close enough" because they Know each other, because they Are each other, despite the fact that their stories are different, despite the fact that they all came from different times, they are of the same tree, and the ancient oak still has rings from when it was young

Oh shit wait, you only meant the wasteland? idk man, i just didn't want any of them to be comfortable, level playing ground and all that, y'know?

#asks and screams #three sided coin #three sided coin au

[caspercryptid]

You know I think an essential part of A Christmas Carol (at least in the versions I've seen) is the emphasis on scrooge demonstrating Human Feeling prior to realizing he's Fucked. We make a lot of jokes about three ghosts visiting bezos or musk, but imo the core of scrooge was that somewhere deep down in there was a good man who cared about his nephew, had loved somebody very much, and got worried about a sick child when he was looking that suffering in the face. His wealth and bitterness isolated him from the world, he was a terrible person because he refused to reach out and experience the mortifying ordeal of being known and loved and risk losing other people he cared about. I— think it's the 1984 where he says some shit in the early part of the film that's thrown back in his face— that if sick kids are going to die they'd better do it and "decrease the surplus population." The ghost of the present reminds him that that's his opinion when he asks if Bob cratchett's son is going to live.

But anyway. He demonstrates that the potential to change is there Before he is presented with "and if you don't these will be the consequences". He doesn't throw out his wealth just because he's scared of damnation, he throws out his wealth because he's shown that there's real joy in the world and he can either contribute to it and make a difference in people's lives! And then also if he doesn't he's toast.

Anyway Elon musk doesn't have shit on Ebeneezer Scrooge. None of these billionaires are lonely miserable recluses! They're drinking the milk of human happiness! They're just bastards and I hope the chain they've forged of their own misdeeds drags them to the guillotine. Choppy choppy.

#a christmas carol #this thought wouldnt stop pinging around my head so here you go #casper's cryptid tales

[lemeute]

What are your favourite character tropes? What is it about a fictional character that typically makes you fall for them?

omg what a good ask, mortifying ordeal of being known here we go

I think that THE thing that makes me fall for a character is. like. when they have every damn reason to be cynical but instead they are 100% on board the train of believing in other people's potential and the possibility of working together towards a better world for everyone. some characters this is taking them a Fuckton Of Work to hold onto; others are more like "god it'd be easier sometimes if I could be a little cynical but this has taken root in me"

(and then they do revolutions, usually.)

tumblr is all over that Richard Siken quote about "the gentleness that comes,/ not from the absence of violence, but despite / the abundance of it" and these characters often fit that too but what I'm describing is also two things I'd like to describe in parallel construction:

a power that comes not from an absence of helplessness but despite the abundance of it, and

a hope that comes not from an absence of despair but despite the abundance of it

ok that does not answer the question of TROPES at all rip uh. I. I usually fall for Leaders/Heroes With Tormented Backstories?? I guess? I am quickly won over by a character who Has To Be The Adult? also uh siblings. weak point is when there are........siblings. especially like the sibling equivalent of the romantic Battle Couple trope (idk if it has a name but it SHOULD; it shows up super often)

all these things probably do say uhhh a lot about me. one thing that has not indicated anything particular about me (and, knock on wood, never will) is that a lot of my favorite characters get a hand amputated???????????????????????

#and I will leave it there I suppose #thank you this was a delightful ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dearlybelovedemilyko]

Hello! How about Oliver x Ollie?

Oliver x Ollie

i feel like i'm submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known by admitting this, but when it comes to oliver x ollie i am their self proclaimed number one enthusiast, biggest advocate and leader of their fanclub. they just mean so much to me, okay? they're side characters who don't show up that often, so how invested i am on them can vary from "yeah i can see it" to "OH MY GOD YES", but it's always positive

i have lots, LOTS of headcanons for them, both silly ones and sad ones, as well as huh... a few half finished fanfics saved on my phone. i thought they were cute from the beginning, though i feel like they have more fanfic potential post ollie's unbrainwashing. he has a lot to unpack (the living doll trauma all the human kids in the manor have AND the additional of the bad situation he was in pre selection AND the fact that he has nowhere to go when he leaves the manor), and i just love how much oliver cares about him. ollie used to be so lonely and isolated before, i'm very happy that even among all this madness he finally found someone who not only doesn't judge him for his interests but shares them with him, someone who wants to he friends with him. he spent so long being that person no one wants in any way, and now he has someone who's afraid to lose him, it's just *screams* i don't care if they like each other romantically or platonically or a mix of both, i just love how devoted they are to each other

i really wish more people were invested in these two, i've never seen fanfics of them other than my own, it's just radio silence 😅 i don't know if it's the fandom that doesn't know what it's missing or if it's me that's being weird

i colored the t4t squared because i've seen at least two people have slightly different trans headcanons for these two, and now they live in my head rent free. also "unhealthy in a good way" because as much as i absolutely love the energy oliver gave off when he said ollie didn't do anything wrong (when he very much did) and redirected the blame to himself and i joke that he's ollie's biggest stan, that is something he needs to work on

in summary:

#ship bingo #oliver x ollie #accidentally wrote the oliver x ollie manifesto oops #ollioliver

[firesign23]

Fandom Trumps Hate 2023

I'm participating in Fandom Trumps Hate (@fandomtrumpshate) this year, and like I should probably promote it so y'all are getting a too wordy post on the topic and I apologise for that.

What is FTH?

FTH is a cross-fandom charity auction that has been running since 2016, focused on supporting small-scale non-profits on a series of progressive issues in the US. Why the US? Because the auction began as a direct response to the results of the 2016 elections there. This year's supported organisations cover a variety of issues.

How does it work?

This is not a commission. The FTH tumblr goes into this more in-depth, but in essence: creators such as myself decide which organisations they would like to support, and bidders bid the amount they are willing to donate. The highest bidder at closing donates to one of the chosen causes, then receives a thank you gift for their donation, tailored to their preferences.

Important dates and details?

Auctions are currently open for browsing! This will give you an opportunity to see what fanworks are on offer before bidding opens. The easiest way to do this is by browsing the tagsets for fandoms that interest you.

Bidding opens March 1st (08:00 EST) and closes March 5th (20:00 EST). Proof of donations are due March 12th.

Why are you doing this?

Because I can.

Nah, participating in a fandom auction is one of those things I've said I'd like to do once and never actually managed, and I got sweet talked into it this year.

What are you offering?

Ohhh, this is the fun question, isn't it? I've officially offered a story of up to 5K words in one of three fandoms, but if you are interested in a fandom I've not offered but previously written for that may be negotiable. As for length, I have found that fics will be precisely as long as they want to be--I'd much rather say up to 5K and write 10K than say 5-10K and write 3K.

Examples of my work Game of Thrones and Wheel of Time fic can be found here and my Miss Fisher fic here, but in general my work leans towards character-driven and bittersweet fics, competence kink, and the mortifying ordeal of being known. (Are the cool kids still saying that? Probably not.) My smut leans into soft horny even when kinky, which tends to be either very much someone's tastes or very much not. I love writing so many classic fic tropes and kinks, so if there's something you're interested in but are uncertain, feel free to ask!

Unwilling to address: Scat/watersports, ageplay including usage of daddy/mommy/girl, underage/high school AUs or college AUs where focus is on the college element, casual misogyny or sexual violence (narratively relevant is fine), dubious/non-consensual sex that is not treated as such, revenge porn (literal revenge porn or the "Punish character X" type), power dynamics where there’s a potential abuse of power, humiliation.

Now, onto the fandom specific details:

Game of Thrones: Jaime/Brienne, other pairings with discussion. Prefer to avoid Brienne with major body image issues, ESPECIALLY when phrased about feeling like a “real woman”--insecurities, yes, but not as the driving narrative force. Not interested in Cersei-bashing fics--she's awful, I'm happy to make her awful, but I don't want to make her one dimensional. While happy to incorporate elements of the book canon, this story would be primarily driven by show canon dynamics/characterisation. Happy to write in a canon or AU setting. Into this fandom, but what I offer isn't quite to your taste? Check out other asoiaf/GoT creators here.

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: TV/film canon. Any pairing, canon or fanon. I primarily write Phrack, but as my ao3 will tell you there's very little I've not dipped my toe into. If you are interested in Dot/Hugh fluff, I'll do it but it's not a strength. I strongly prefer canon set stories for this fandom. Into this fandom, but what I offer isn't quite to your taste? Check out other MFMM creators here.

Wheel of Time: I am offering anything centred around Lan, Nynaeve, and/or Moiraine, whether it's platonic or romantic or pre-romantic. I have read the books many times, but this offer is for TV canon only due to other commitments. If, however, you want something like a missing scene from the first few books, that can be discussed during the bidding process. I strongly prefer canon set stories for this fandom. Into this fandom, but what I offer isn't quite to your taste? Check out other WoT creators here.

Anything else?

Not really! My offerings page can be found here. When auctions go live on March 1st you will be able to access the bidding page from there. If you have any questions, whether that's about how this works or what I am/am not willing to write or something else entirely, my Tumblr inbox is always open and I'm happy to answer publicly or privately. If you prefer the answer be private, please ensure you have not selected to make it anonymous and mention it in the message!

#Fandom trumps hate 2023 #miss fisher's murder mysteries #wheel of time #game of thrones #phryne x jack #jaime x brienne #lan x nynaeve #man this needs like five billion more tags but they'd also be pointless so...