#most of us dont want your stinky opinions

[release-the-hound]

as a havanese owner, what would you say their energy levels are like? trainability? grooming needs? looking into getting small dogs in the future and havanese are on the list of possibilities

I think part of the reason Havanese are so wonderful for so many people is that their energy levels are extremely variable. A well bred Havanese should match its energy levels to its owners for the most part. There are days where I have only taken Whim outside to potty, and spent the rest of my time sick in bed, and she has happily cuddled up next to me and slept by my side. But she has also happily galloped alongside me for a 5km run, and been eager for more. Ultimately what Havanese want more than a specific amount of activity, is to be doing activity with their person.

Of course, I always celebrate doing more with your dog. I try to give Whim at least a 20 minute walk daily. Along with minimum 5 minutes dedicated training session and a food puzzle for enrichment. Often I am able to do more than that.

(One if my favorite off-leash adventures with Whim. A 3 hour walk through unusually deep snow. So many sniffs and lots of excellent recalls!)

When my sister died, I was frequently doing less, for weeks. And she didn't devolve into a frustrated barking mess, didn't chew up my apartment, she was a little bored, but she was never miserable. She just lay in my bed, by my side, day after day, until I was ready to face the world again.

(I cannot overstate how good Whim is at cuddling. If there was an international competition for it, she'd win it every year.)

I really think for disabled people, Havanese have the ideal energy level. You can meet their base needs fairly easily, but if you are up for adventure they're always ready to come along for a ride.

(Whim travels frequently on airplanes with me, and is always complimented on her good behavior.)

Grooming needs are the sticking point for many people, unfortunately. While Havanese are genrtically capable of producing a short coat, it's against the breed standard, and so I don't know of anyone intentionally breeding for that.

For me, a non-shedding dog is worth extra grooming, but I know that's not the case for a lot of people. I have Whim shaved about every 4 to 6 months. This means that I go over her coat to comb out any mats about once a week, and I trim the fur out of her eyes on occassion. But other than that, I dont worry about grooming. I bathe her when she's stinky and trim her nails when they get long, which you need to do with every dog. I know @girlhorse keeps Enzo in a much fuller coat. If you want to keep a fuller coat, she might be willing to talk about the grooming experience.

It's also worth noting that due to their small size, combing Whim's fur is like, a 20 minute process.

(I often miss Whim's coat from when I kept her long. She was so unbelievably adorable.)

Havanese are my FAVOURITE dogs to train bar none. I'm not a professional trainer in any sense of the word, but between group classes and my job I have seen how a lot of dogs learn. @thelittlespanielthatcould and I often compare Havs to a CKCS with a little more spunk. They are very clever and very eager to work with you, but when they have an opinion they make it clear.

Whim can be entirely focused on me for an hour long lesson. But she won't do work she's not fairly compensated for. Personally, I like a dog that won't let me push them around. If it's a hot day and I haven't given Whim enough water breaks, she'll march herself over to her bowl whenever she damn well pleases. If I'm not using a high enough value treat, she will take it from my hand and spit it on the ground. I like these things because I like dogs that set their own boundaries. I want my dog to tell me when she is tired or thirsty, when I'm not rewarding enough, when she's frightened. Because I get clear feedback from her on what I'm doing wrong, I can alter my methods very quickly to keep us in sync. I like that my dog can tell me something so clearly and I can say back to her "ok, I'm listening."

Whim does very well in Rally when I can afford the classes. She loved agility. Havanese also make great trick dogs. They have amazing handler focus (once they mature). They love spending time with you, so they love training. You just have to be fair to them. I guess I'd describe them as eager to engage, but not eager to please. She wants to spend time with me, she wants to play my games, but she isn't afraid to stand her ground if she's not having fun. Training her brings me so much fucking joy. Even writing about it now has put a smile on my face.

(Whim and I had so much fun in agility. She loved the tunnels so much she used to go off course just to run them a second or third time. Until I started bringing out the big guns (cheese) and suddenly she was an angel again lol.)

Realistically, no breed is ever going to be ideal for every person on the planet. But 2 words come to mind when I think of Havanese. Fexible: they thrive in many different living situations, energy levels, and activities. And Communicative, about their needs, their desires, their fears, their pain. They make it easy for dog owners to figure out what to do. For these reasons, I think Havanese match well with a lot more people than the average dog breed.

Whim has been my best friend for more than a decade. I have never second-guessed my decision to bring her into my life. I wake up every day knowing that I am profoundly loved. In my brightest moments I picture a future of adventure unfurling before us. In my darkest, her joy reminds me how to find my own.

TL,DR: Get a Havanese.

#sorry this is long and sappy and maybe excessively pro-havanese #but the thing is they are just. so. SO GOOD. #Whim has been my heart for 12 years. I adore her. #get a Havanese. the only decision with a 0 regret rate. #(i cant prove that but i know it in my soul) #Look at her! Hiking! Skiing! Agility! Obedience! Tricks! she can do it all!!! #i love my dog so much you guys #whim the havanese #havanese #dogs #dogblr #alt text #havanese pawpaganda #anomymous #asked and answered

[homeofhousechickens]

Do you have any advice on transitioning chickens from outdoor life to being house chickens? I recently lost my whole flock to foxes but one silkie, and she’s too scared to go outside again. She’s already a cuddle bug and loves lounging on soft things and being warm, she’s just pretty cautious about any kind of nappy. She’s still recovering from the attack so I wouldn’t be starting anything with her just yet, but any advice would be helpful

Picture of the most beautiful girl for tax

It should be pretty easy, i suggest getting a night time cage for her/ a cage for her to stay in where she can recover. I suggest something like the Deluxe Wabitat. (buy it from the cheapest place you can its fine)

https://www.chewy.com/midwest-wabbitat-deluxe-rabbit-home/dp/183474

My leghorns can fit in there pretty comfortably so it should be plenty on room for a silkie. You will want to remove the ramp though to give her more space. You could also use a large dog crate, prefab coop, or ferret cage instead but i like the high sides of the Wabitat and its easy to clean, move, add perches, ect. You can also buy extensions for it which is nice. While she adjusts i suggest covering the sides and back of the cage so she feels safer. You can easily open the front of the cage and let her come and go supervised (so you can clean up after her) as you transition her to diaper wearing after she heals. Speaking of diapers- AVOID pamperyourpoultry diapers. I own a lot of these diapers in all sizes and id say they are a very poor choice for new house chicken owners and birds not used to being diapered. They have a lot of belly fabric which can put pressure on the crop and its easier for them to get their legs caught. They dont automatically have a waterproof liner and are not adjustable either not to mention the sizing is inconsistent.

My diaper recs are these Your silkie would be a small or an adjusted down medium with this seller. Very affordable and high quality.

This maker SPECIALIZES in seramas and silkies. You just need to tell them you have a silkie. These are great for training and are VERY comfortable for the bird due to having NO belly fabric.

Also the feed you choose will greatly impact the texture of your birds poop, the cheaper and lower quality the more wet and stinky it will be. Keep this in mind! The best feed for house birds is textured feed like Henhouse reserve in my opinion but plenty of house chickens are on normal crumble or pellets.

#house chickens #chicken diapers

[minecraftpissblock]

THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME BABE @hopelesscalico :) going to do one of these for once because, for fun

Are you named after anyone? i dont think so! my parents own a couple zora neale hurston books but i think they just liked the name unrelatedly

When was the last time you cried? damn ummmmmm like last week probably i cant even remember

Do you have kids? nope! not really yearning to have any in the near future but possibly someday... crossing that bridge when we get there

What sports do you play/have you played? i did swim team for a second in late elementary/middle school and it was the most stressful shit of my life but now i can swim pretty good and i kind of miss it sometimes

Do you use sarcasm? yeas when im mad but i try very hard not to direct it at whoever im talking to

What is the first thing you notice about people? hmmm probably like their Talking style if that makes sense? i feel like a lot of my initial opinions on people rely on how they speak to me

What’s your eye colour? brown!!!!!!!

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings but i will certainly not turn down a scary movie

Any talents? drawing and playing guitar and singing and sewing are the main things i do on a regular basis and consider myself proficient in, anything else is just kind of dabbling

Where were you born? WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAIN MAMA💪💪💪💪💪

What are your hobbies? i kind of answered this in the talents section i guess but i like drawing and playing music and sewing stuffed animals/fursuit parts and also video grames! i would probably list hiking here too if i still lived in wv but i hope to get back to doing outdoorsy stuff regularly someday

Do you have any pets? a stinky little cat named blossompaw (named her when i was 10 and in full swing warrior cats phase) and a beautiful angelic ball python named nyx!!!!!!

How tall are you? UMMMM i think like five feet and five inches

Favourite subject in school? life sciences and math and also hands-on art stuff

Dream job? WILDLIFE BIOLOGIST i want them to send me out to look at animals and then i do math about the animals

i have like 2 mutuals that havent already been tagged but hey guys @galushanationalrailways @ska-elysium @oceanfossil and any other mutuals who see this!!!!!!!!!! go wild

[imperatorium]

can u explain ghost for me? i kno its a band but there's a sister? multiple ghost men? i dont understand but i want to

Oh, bless, anon! I'd be more than happy to. :)

I did actually make a pretty comprehensive post for another friend a couple years ago, which you can read here: https://imperatorium.tumblr.com/post/614954763444011008/hello-friend-i-do-not-understand-your-other

But besides that, to summarize - Ghost is a band with an accompanying fictional storyline. In real life, the band is comprised entirely of one whole person, Tobias Forge, supported by his touring band. In real life, the band's American manager was not accepting of the fact that Tobias's intention were just to be an "anonymous" band, masked and costumed. The manager decided they needed a story, so Tobias was like, "Fuck it, we ball," and gave us a story.

Within the fictional world of Ghost, the band is the Satanic Church's musical side project - kind of like the worship band at an over-the-top Christian megachurch. Like any other popular Christian rock band - but, you know, for Satan. The band had its first go in the 1960s, but then really came into full being in 2010 and has since done nothing but rise to its full power as you would know them know - the band with the really popular song on TikTok.

There are several important characters within the story/band, who I will now highlight in order of appearance IRL (rather than chronologically in fiction).

PAPA EMERITUS I: Sometimes called "Primo" (Italian for "first") by the fandom. Led Ghost at the time of their debut album, Opus Eponymous. Because he was originally intended to just be a costume and a mask, there's not much canon depth to his story. Was allegedly in his 70s during his reign as antipope and lead singer, but this still does not make sense to me. Mostly a serious old bat, did a lot of "proof of concept" songs that sound very much like what you would expect from a Theatrically Satanic Metal Band.

PAPA EMERITUS II - Papa I's replacement in 2013. Sometimes referred to as "Secundo" ("second" in Italian) by the fandom. His album is called Infestissumam and the cover is a parody of the Amadeus poster, so I respect him for that if nothing else. Notably in his 50s when he took over from Papa I and much more personality, which can be seen in the "Papaganda" videos. He speaks the most Italian and looks like he doesn't not want us to call him Signore Mondiale out of paint. Very much a jaded hedonist who was all too aware of the temporary position he was in as both Antipope and leader of the band.

SISTER IMPERATOR: Not a member of the band, but easily the most important person who exists (in my opinion). To paraphrase my roleplay journal info for her, she is the "mama superior" of the Satanic Church's organization of nuns called the Sisters of Sin, the devoted left-hand of the Antipope (spoilers - not either of the ones you've been introduced to), and "momager" of the Ghost project. First seen in the Summoning videos that came out around the end of Papa II's reign, she is tired of everyone's bullshit and wants Satanic world domination yesterday.

PAPA EMERITUS III: The entire fandom's heartthrob, sometimes called "Terzo" ("third" in Italian). A stinky baby. Very self-important. I love him. Anyway. His reveal in 2015 was the first time we learned that there was a familial bloodline we've been following this whole time. III is Papa II's "younger" brother (by only three months) and, thus, the world's oldest twink. Under his reign, the band won a Grammy for "Cirice" and he was also the first to technically have two albums, Meliora and Ceremony & Devotion - granted the latter of which is a live album. Also the first boy to have to be forcibly removed from his position because he did not want to leave.

PAPA EMERITUS ZERO, aka PAPA NIHIL: The patriarch of the Emeritus bloodline. The Actual Antipope of the Satanic Church and also the love of my life. He's adorable. Fucking look at him. He plays the fucking saxophone. We met him at Papa III's dethroning and soon thereafter learned that There Is Something Going On Between Him & Sister Imperator. (They're in love. Don't let anyone tell you it's not mutual.) He is stubborn and crotchety and old as balls...and also out of heirs by the time we see him and Sister first touch base regarding the band.

CARDINAL COPIA: Papa Nihil's personal assistant, second-most awarded employee of the month, the other apple of Sister Imperator's eye. A fifty-year-old minor. Keeps rats and rides tricycles. He's a good boy and I want to pick him up and carry him everywhere with me. He was the first lead singer of Ghost to take up as head of the band but not be granted the title of Antipope and released Prequelle. (It was a very Star Wars prequel situation - Nihil as the Jedi Council making Copia, as Anakin, a member of the Council but not raising him to the position of Jedi Knight.) Their relationship is contentious in part because Copia is not part of the bloodline.

Er, rather, he's """not""" part of the bloodline.

But actually!

So, remember when I said there was Something Going On Between Sister & Nihil? Yep, there's a backstory. And they are in love. The "Dance Macabre" video details Nihil's ascension to the Antipapacy with Sister's assistance. There's some debate about this video because Nihil implies in one of the story chapters that his family has a very long history as Antipopes within the Church but in this, we see him wander in a bit confused about what's happening until Sister guides him through the ritual. Draw your own conclusions - I know I have! (Mine start with the "Cirice" video, in case you need to take a peek at that again...)

We also learn that actually, Ghost as a musical project originally had its first go in the 1960s, led by Nihil himself! He released the two best songs the band will ever have (including "Mary On A Cross"), but...stardom was...a little too much for him (got a little too hung up on the stupid things like kissing groupies in front of his pregnant girlfriend) and the experiment was prematurely ended.

Did I mention that Sister Imperator is totally pregnant in 1969?

Well, it's a good thing that I did because she sure never has!

With WHOMST, you ask? Well, we don't officially know. But she sure did kill Papa I, II, and III (notably not her sons, despite her obvious relationship with Nihil) once Copia was officially made head of the band so no one would get in his way... (Tobias is not out here writing songs about his OCs, but that being said, I recommend taking a listen to "Witch Image" for my thoughts on this subject.)

PAPA EMERITUS IV: Our reigning Antipope! But, surprise - it's just Copia! Our little rat finally took the coveted position in March of 2020 shortly after Nihil expired on stage. I have still not recovered from the mixed emotions I feel about this situation - immensely proud of my baby boy, forever mourning the loss of my stupid husband. You know how it goes.

As Papa IV, Copia released Impera earlier this year, about two years after his ascension. It's about the rise and fall of empires and everyone seems to be taking this to be a portentous autobiography since the nature of the band is that there will always be some other Antipope waiting in the wings to take over, but I refuse to accept this reality because Copia is the Antichrist and my son and I love him and I'll burn this whole chapel of ritual down if anything bad happens to him ever.

...I think this is coherent, but if it isn't...then, I recommend reading the previous explanation I linked earlier and/or asking for any clarification needed! (I also recommend forgiving me, since sometimes I am very all over the place when I get excited to talk about what I like.)

And you know, actually, as it so happens, on the off chance that anyone does like when I get real hype about what really matters (to me) in Ghost (Sister & Nihil), I may have some good news about that for you all soon...

#the band ghost #thank you for letting me big yell about them again anon!

[ratt1cus]

can yall pls leave he/him lesbians who aren’t trans out of trans discourse. i stg every time i see some post bashing mogai trans people or neopronoun trans people or w/e they always, ALWAYS try and ring in he/him lesbians. pls fuck off. just like the dysphoria discourse in the trans community, even IF he/him lesbians were a point of issue, lesbians would take it up amongst ourselves. it would be intra-community discourse anyway. non-lesbians need to stop yelling their opinions about when they know jack shit about lesbian history and culture, like. you’re really just being lesbophobic. it seriously says something about you that you’re so obsessed with policing lesbian’s identities.

#ugh #sick of this shit #like stop it #its not trans discourse #like he/him lesbians who identify as women #trans or otherwise #really isn’t your issue #and we lesbians #most of us dont want your stinky opinions #lesbophobia #he/him lesbians #he him lesbians #lesbians #discourse #discourse tw #mogai #trans discourse #tucute #transmed

[itsmattsunshinehere]

Helloooo thank you for the last headcannon commission even if you had a hard time 😂 May I request some cute couple headcannon ones again with Kageyama, Tsukki, Kuroo and Iwaizumi with a 5’3 s/o when you have time if ever 😔👉👈 enjoy!! Thanks again💗

okay first thing first IM SO SORRY you had to wait for soo long please dont hate me really im so sorry!!My maximum is three characters x headcanon so I went for Tsukki, Kuroo and Iwa. Thanks for your request, I hope you like it!💘

-L

Tsukishima Kei / Kuroo Tetsurou / Iwaizumi Hajime x reader.

Tsukishima Kei

tall ass bitch: that’s how we call him.

we all know Tsukki: he’s a stinky introverted bitch so between the two you’re the one who confessed first.

Tsukhisima literally went like: “Well I guess you’re lucky enough for me to like you back.”

“Asshole. Yeah, total bastard.” “AHHH—”

Yamaguchi scolded him for a week.

so you started dating, very cute, except for the fact that he continued pestering you for your height.

being a couple means being suportive and always complimenting the other, right? Well WERE YOU WRONG LMAO.

“You can’t bring me some sugar cause it’s too high for you, how are you even supposed to reach my heart?”

Tsukki you wanna fight?? ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

so yep get ready.

big tease,,

it’s not that he likes making fun of you as he doeas with Hinata,,

it’s just that when you pout you’re so cute he simply can’t resist it, cause yeah deep inside he’s a simp for you.

one of his favourite moments it’s when you’re on the stands cheering for him and you keep jumping so that he can see you.

(send F in the chat for Tsukki’s heart).

“Kawaii…” “Tsukki did you just said som-“ “You have no proof.”

despite him being Stinkyshima, you love this sarcastic side of him: it’s for that you fell in love with him; replacing it would mean replacing what makes Tsukishima the tall gyraffe you love so much.

he also loves being the big spoon as much as he loves walking down the hallways with a hand on your shoulder.

yep, you’re definitely his shrimp.

Kuro Tetsurou

Also big tease.

I mean it’s Kuroo pain in the ass Tetsurou, what did you expect?

I can imagine so many scenarios where Kuroo makes fun of your height,,

“Y/n-chan, how’s the weather down there?”

“Kuroo do you know I’m the one who should-?”

“Sorry I can’t hear you, it’s just that you’re so small your voice cant reach me!”

“It’s so hard finding you through all these people, can you wear the little present I gave you last week?”

“Kuroo it’s a beanie with neon on it. Forget about it.”

“But at least I won’t lose you. 😊”

R.I.P. Kuroo cause you just kicked the hell out of him helped by your amazing friend Morisuke Yaku.

you stopped eating Nutella cause every time you stop by him he hides it on the highest shelf so that you have to call him and ask him to help you.

having Lev in the team changed everything, literally a total blessing for your small legs.

before the arriving of Lev, Kuroo was 100% sure you would never find anyone as tall (and useful) as him, but now he’s not that sure anymore.

YES THAT’S WHAT WE CALL REVENGE.

but deep inside he knows you love him.

and he loves you.

(as much as he loves teasing you lol sorry it’s a full package you have to deal with it).

but let’s talk about important things—

DID YOU JUST SAY BIG SPOON KUROO?

well ahem SIR- let me introduce you to clingy type of boyfriend.

you’re his tiny girlfriend and he loves you exactly the way (size) you are.

Iwaizumi Hajime

LMAO he protects he attacks but most important he hugs (you so tight you can barely breathe because iwa 🤝 big arms 🤝 big d- sorry sorry I’ll stop there eheh).

(and he also barks cause excuse me sir he’s don’t touch my gf type of boyfriend).

Iwa thinks you’re so cute and small he’s quite worried he could crack you like a walnut lmao.

he’s always so delicate and gentle and mostly protective whenever boys and girls (!!) are around.

one day he heard some of your (girls) classmates making fun of you for your height.

Well, guess what? He didn’t like it.

you tried telling him he didn’t have to make such a big deal caused you literally didn’t care about their opinion.

he kept being your bodyguard (if only looks could kill lmao) for something like a month cause he was so worried they wanted to prank you and humiliate you in front of everyone.

IWA PLEASE STOP MAKING ME SOFT FOR YOU.

the truth is that they really tried to prank you but failed cause you found out what they had planned.

you threatened them to tell everything to the principal and make their life at school impossible (with Oikawa’s help cause he’s a bitch and loves drama and we love him for that 🤚🏻).

Makki kept pointing out how much he looked like Kyotani for months.

he stopped immediately after Iwa threatened him to seriously bite him (Kyotani’s respect towards Iwa-chan 📈📈📈).

the first time you met his friends Oikawa called you a babydoll bc you looked so tiny.

“Y/n-chan I can literally hide you in my locker, how can you be so small and cute?”

he had to apologise immediately after telling you it was a joke and he was not serious at all.

Iwa behind him: (•̀-•́)ง

Oikwa:（╹◡╹）♡

You: ಠ_ಠ

you’re his baby girl and no one except for him can call you like this.

or making fun of you, he’s the only one that can see you pouting lmao.

When you pout he’s heart goes ✨🦋✨🦋✨🦋✨

your cuteness just reached level +105,,

good job now you broke Seijoh’s ace.

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu tsukishima #hq tsukishima #karasuno tsukishima #karasuno x reader #kuroo #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu kuroo #hq kuroo #nekoma kuroo #nekoma x reader #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq iwaizumi #aoba iwaizumi #aoba johsai x reader #tsukishima headcanons #kuroo headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons

[snobgoblin]

best to worst Gorillaz albums (opinion) (only counting the ones I've listened to fully so far)

1. Plastic Beach

2. Demon Days

3. The Fall

4. The Now Now

5. Song Machine Season 1

6. Gorillaz

explainations

1. Absolutely ran with the environmentalist and beachy theme, love that it stuck to that, and most of the songs slapped and even the ones I dont like I can vibe to. Solid album to accompany a solid story at the time. Very exciting. Best by far. Thanks stinky pickle man. Best album to accompany you while you go through the 7 stages of hating yourself

2. I know everyone loves Demon Days but like, that's because it's good 👁👄👁 idk what you want from me, I'm not gonna hate something just because it's popular if it has quality to it. A solid album with a solid message, most of the songs are excellent. Love the vibe of it. It's indescribable. You did a wonderful job Noodle. Best album to get mad to when you feel hopeless

3. I absolutely adore Amarillo, Revolving Doors, and Aspen Forest. Some of my favourites of theirs ever. But, with that said, it's not an album I like to listen to over and over again. I love it, but the weirdness of it makes me paranoid that others can hear my headphones so I don't like listening to it unless I'm sure I'm alone. No fault of the album, I love experimental music. But not everyone does and it makes me anxious. You did a great job, D

4. I have cried to this album at least 26 times, the best breakup album, great catharsis for dealing with unchecked trauma left over from a toxic friend you used to (and still do despite yourself) love with all your heart. This song was there for me to let me be dramatic when nobody cared countless times, thanks again D

5. It has a lot of great songs, it just isnt my favourite. The songs can be clunky, but when they slap, they really slap. Passable I'd say

I've listened to a lot of Humanz and I really like it, I just haven't listened to the whole thing yet. The only thing I really have to complain about is what literally everyone complains about: not enough 2-D, too much focus on guests. But I really love the whole vibe of it. there are other albums I'm sure but I'm mostly in it for the lore and characters more than the music so I dont really care enough to listen to them all tbh I'm a busy lad

6. The only good songs are Clint Eastwood, 5/4, Tomorrow Comes Today, Rock the House, and 19-2000, the rest fill me with rage and give me a headache, I love you Russ but the drums were much too heavy. Either that or my headphones are broken which is likely xx

#gorillaz

[ninatastic]

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah 

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

no

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c: 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food 

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

#ask #jeezus

[sammmys-writing]

First Date

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Sonny Carisi (Barisi)

TW: None

Summary: Sonny finally gets the guts to ask Rafael out on a date and does so

Authors notes: ho- LEE FUCK THIS IS LONG (2,246 words uwu) also i wrote this at like 1AM and its not Beta-ed so please excuse any OOCness. 

Amanda and Sonny being best friends is true MlM WlW soldarity

This is also posted on AO3. Read it Here

"Carisi has a crush, Carisi has a crush~~" Rollins teased in a sing-song voice once the ruthless ADA, (and Sonny's aforementioned crush) Rafael Barba had left earshot.

"I don't have a crush!!" The other exclaimed defensively. Ok, maybe he had a tiny crush on the ADA, but who wouldn't?? Especially with those fierce forest green eyes and the way they twinkled on the rare occasion that he laughed, or his pretty little "I'm Winning" Smirk that only showed up in court, but that Sonny would pay to see.

"Yeah and you didn't just stare at and flirt with Barba for..." She checked her watch "Half an hour" She snorted, poking at Carisi's side.

"I wasn't staring I was... being an attentive listener" He stated, hoping that his excuse would get the other detective to leave him alone about this.

"Right, so you weren't staring straight at his lips the whole time" She said skeptically, raising one eyebrow up. He'd seen her use this tactic in interrogations, but it wouldn't work on him, not today at least.

"I wasn't staring at his lips!!"

Yes he was.

"And the flirting?" She inquired.

"He was flirting with me and i was being polite. How do you know that its he who's crushing on me and not the other way around? Check and Mate" He smirked, crossing his arms.

"What ever you say tough guy" Rollins snorted before going back to her work.

~*~

Unbeknownst to either detective, Rafael Barba was in fact crushing on Sonny Carisi. Somehow the lanky detective had wormed his way into his heart, with his absolutely kissable lips, bright blue eyes, and those god damn dimples that would certainly be the death of him. But, sadly, Rafael was pretty sure that Sonny was straight, as he'd always seen him flirting with women at NYPD parties that he was encouraged (forced) to attend.

Although this knowledge didn't prevent his heart from melting as a result of Carisi's laugh or the way he was constantly leaning over things, giving Barba a nice view of his ass. It also didn't stop him from being slightly jealous when he caught someone else eyeing those long perfect legs, connected to that perfect ass. Still, he acted professional, he kept his feelings under wraps, he willed himself to look away whenever Carisi leaned over something (Most of the time), like he did literally every time Barba visited the precinct, and he never actively sought him out unless it was pertinent to the current case. He was slightly afraid of his feelings for the detective getting the better of him. His train of thought was cut off as Carmen entered his office to say

"Mr Barba, Detective Carisi's here to see you"

Sonny walked in as Carmen was leaving and he flashed the ADA one of those award winning smiles that Rafael couldn't get enough of.

"Good evening Detective, what brings you here?" He asked, not looking up from the papers he was working on

"Well, I was wondering, Counselor, if..." He paused "You'd like to go to dinner, with me" the Detective added looking down, which made a few pieces of his hair fall to his forehead, free from the  grip of the hair gel he most likely used.

Barba for once was at a slight loss for words, he looked up from his papers and a slight smirk appeared on his lips, "Are you asking me out on a date, Detective?"

"Would you say yes if I was?" Replied the detective, looking up, his baby blues brighter then normal.

"Are you free tomorrow at 8?"

"Y-Yeah, I am"

"Meet me at DiAngelo's at 8"

Carisi smiled brightly and nodded, "I gotta go now or Picatso will get all weird when I get home. See ya tomorrow Counselor!" He said, waving his goodbyes before exiting Barba's office happily knowing he had a date with his crush.

Meanwhile Barba was rethinking all of his life choices that had led up to when he had fallen for a man who'd named his cat Picatso.

~*~

[Sonny  days] roLLINS

ROLLINS

ROLLINS, I JUST ASKED BARBA OUT AND HE SAID YES??? I HAVE A DATE WITH HIM TOMORROW AFTER WORK

HELP

[Rollin' in the deep] i knew you had a crush on him carisi

[Sonny  days] yeah, yeah, yeah, alright you were right, but still

Help

[Rollin' in the deep] with what? just let him slam it home

[Sonny  days] thats like

the exact opposite of helping

what do i do with the date, like how

how does someone do a date

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

[Sonny  days] stop or i block

[Rollin' in the deep] ;(

have you told him about Picatso yet?

[Sonny  days] yeah??

[Rollin' in the deep] and he didn't bail instantly? he must really like you

[Sonny  days] hey, Picatso is the perfect name for a cat

[Rollin' in the deep] that is not a cat

thats a demon from hell

[Sonny  days] he just doesnt like you because he can sense how much you hate him

animals are like that

anyway, back on topic, help please??

[Rollin' in the deep] Just, talk to him about mutual interest's or ask him about himself or smthn i dont knoW

I don't know man!! i havent been on a first date in so long

[Sonny boy] since you've been banging the lieu

[Rollin' in the deep] speaking of liv, Noah just fell asleep you know what that means

[Sonny  days] gross

[Rollin' in the deep] ;)

get some carisi!! now i gotta go its time for some designated lady time

[Sonny  days] have a good time rollins

and please never say designated lady time ever again

~*~

The next day at 8 o'clock, Sonny Carisi walked up to the DiAngelo's restaurant in a nice white pressed shirt and dress pants with a navy tie, not his work clothes, Barba was too good for him to wear his work clothes on a date with him, he saw Barba standing outside the restaurant, wearing a suit, like always. Sonny wondered what he looked like in home clothes or pyjamas, hopefully, if dinner went well he'd have a chance to see that.

"Hey counselor!" He called, waving to the hot ADA as he walked towards him.

Rafael smiled warmly at the tall blue-eyed detective, waving back.

"You're not late Carisi, I'm surprised" He joked lightly, giving the detective a quick look down, he dressed nice, better then what he wore to work at least.

Carisi smiled at the comment. "I try counselor." He chuckled, "Shall we go in?" he asked, offering his arm, internally panicking about this, he was trying to follow the WikiHow article he read on how to act on a first date, so far it was working.

Barba smiled again, "Call me Rafael" He said, taking his arm and the pair went inside, where they were seated quickly in a little booth in the corner. The date went rather well as far as first dates with your co-worker are concerned, they chatted and laughed, happy in their own little world.

Rafael was sure he'd just fallen even harder for the blue eyed detective sitting across from him. He talked with his hands lot, this was something he had never noticed before, when telling funny little stories of his childhood in Staten Island suburbia, he made grand gestures with his hands, whether he was explaining his sisters giant crush on his best friend, or how he fell off of the playground structure when he was 10 and had to be in a wheelchair for a month.

Carisi noticed how Rafael's eyes softened when he talked about his grandma or his mom, telling stories of his childhood, how he poured himself into his studies and go to college against the odds, go to Harvard, it was truly inspiring and Carisi was reminded of why he fell for the green eyed ADA. He was the most interesting man he'd ever met.

"My apartment isn't far from here, wanna come over, end the night with a few drinks?" Carisi asked as they exited the restaurant after dinner, looking down.

"Sure" Barba replied, after a few moments of hesitation. "Lead the way" He chuckled.

As they walked, they chatted some more, sharing thoughts about cases, the law, and ridiculous perp names that Sonny had encountered during his years as a detective, ("You arrested a guy called Dick Hertz?" "Crazy right?")

Carisi was happy to learn more about Rafael, see the softer side of him, which was just as hot as the snarky work version of him, (in Sonny's opinion at least). Meanwhile Rafael had learned that Sonny was just as loud outside of work as he was in work, which to be honest wasn't surprising and kinda endearing to say the least.

Once they entered Sonny's apartment, Picatso rubbed up against the pairs legs, seeking attention from his owner and this new person he'd brought into the house.

"Hey stinky man" Sonny greeted the eager cat, leaning down to give him a quick pet, before shutting the door behind them and putting up his coat, "Want anything to drink? I got wine, whiskey, tea, coffee, water" He stated, turning around to look at Rafael, smiling a bit. Hopefully his apartment was clean enough, he didn't have much of a chance to clean up beforehand but he thought it looked presentable.

"I'll have a whiskey" Barba replied, hanging up his coat and glancing down at the cat, it was rubbing up against his leg and trying to sniff him to make sure he wasn't an enemy. Rafael wasn't particularly fond of felines but Picatso (what'd the cat do to be named that) seemed reasonable, he leaned over, giving his hand to sniff before he gave the cat a hesitant pet on the head, Picatso purred quietly, liking the attention from the new human.

"He likes you" Carisi smiled, coming back with two glasses, one with whiskey and another with wine. "I think thats the fastest ive ever seen him warm up to someone" He chuckled, handing the glass of whiskey to Barba as he got up. Picatso protested the end of the attention with a quiet meow, he looked to his owner for more but he paid him no heed.

Rafael smiled softly, taking the glass.

"Come, let's sit" Sonny lead Rafael inside, sitting on the couch and motioning for Barba to sit next to him, which he did.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before Rafael spoke up.

"How long have you wanted to go out with me" He asked, Sonny looked slightly embarrassed.

"You don't have to be a  detective to notice that" he chuckled, sipping at his drink.

Sonny turned slightly pink, and sipped his wine

"Its fine,  it's kinda cute actually"

At this Sonny blushed harder, "A year  or so" he mumbled.

Rafael smiled a bit, but hid it  by taking a sip of his whiskey. "If it makes you feel any better I've probably been pining for you for longer" He chuckled.

Sonny laughed at this quietly, "Wanna bet?" he joked. "During the moustache or after?" he asked

"Oh god, please never again remind me of your awful moustache"

"I thought it looked good"

"It made you look like a cheap pornstar from the eighties"

"I bet teenage you would've jumped at the chance to sleep with a pornstar back then"

Barba just laughed, and Sonny laughed with him. Both men unconsciously leaned closer to each other. Sonny would never be sure if it was them being comfortable with eachother, or him being slightly more confident (due to the alcohol from dinner and  the drinks now), or a bit of both that made him do it but he closed that gap between them after a moment of  silence, by pressing his lips to Rafaels and kissing him,  softly and slowly.

Rafael kissed back after a moment of surprise. Sparks flew between them and Sonny was astonished that  the other would kiss back. Soon enough, the  drinks were abandoned and Sonny deepened the kiss, moving closer.

That endeavor, however, soon devolved into Sonny kinda straddling the ADA and them hardcore making out, Rafels hands in Sonny's hair, removing it from the hold that the detectives hair gel had it in, and Sonny's arms around Rafaels waist, keeping the pair close.

By Sonny's standards, this was probably the best make out session her ever had the pleasure of being involved in, and judging by the way it was going he was hopefully going to be experiencing it much more.

[Rollin' in the deep] carisi how was ur date

did you guys talk wistfully about everything and nothing while staring into each others eyes

[Sonny days] that is the cheesiest thing ive ever heard

and me and my sister once talked for an entire hour in just cheese puns

[Rollin' in the deep] pffft

[Sonny days] getting back on topic

it was fine

normal first date stuff

we kissed

[Rollin' in the deep] a kiss?

thats nothing

tell me when u fuck

[Sonny  days] haha

even though you'll probably be the first one i tell

[Rollin' in the deep] fuck yeaaaahhh

give me those relationship deets or i will die

i've watched you 2 pine for each other for too long, i need to know everything

[Sonny  days] yeah yeah, ill tell you more tomorrow its too fuckin late for this shit

night rollins

[Rollin' in the deep] night carisi

#Barisi #lawyer boyfriends #barba x carisi #carisi x barba #Rafael x sonny #sonny x rafael #fanfic #fanfiction #ff #writing #first fic uwu #Law and Order: Special Victims Unit #svu #law and order: svu #dominick carisi jr #sonny carisi #dominick #carisi #sonny #rafael barba #rafael #barba

[tallat-of-thralls]

Internal Work

Im going to start this ramble off with a very strange story that im going to be using as a metaphor on how i approach my internal work.

......

*Trigger Warnings*

References mental illness and uses uncomfortable metaphors. First hand experiences with symptoms of mental illness as well as experiences with people who have mental illnesses.

TL; Dr : Internal work for both spiritual and nonspiritual people is important for a balanced life.

.......

Story: My mother is mentally ill and probably always has been. She panics and develops obsessive or fixed habits that can create a obstacle filles envireoment.

After our stay in the shitty hood apartments, we ended up moving to the sticks/backwoods in the south eastern texas country. This was all a response to my stalker father so it was secluded.

Well, for the first couple of weeks, we had problems with out very backwoods neighbors and the private trash removal company. My mother was under the impression we had a trash pickup for the neighbor hood but wouldn't reason when told that she cant leave the trash on the curb in hopes that it will just be removed. My (late) stepdad managed to piss off out hillbilly neighbors which resulted in them to road haul the trash can down the back woods street spreading garbage everywhere...

After we collected our garbage and retrieved our busted can, my mother had a meltdown. Instead of finding a trash company she had made us all stored the trash bags in this dilapidated rabbit cage until she decides what shes going to do.

Even with blunt negotiations and passive pleads from my stepdad, sister, me, and then texas native boyfriend (now husband) to allow us to burn the trash or haul. The trash remained. (My bf/husband was sneaking burnables out to rid them).

Eventually, it sat and built massive amounts of garbage stacked over my head. Everytime any of us motioned to it, my mother would freak out.

So, then we have a huge pile of trash festering in a cage.

.........

Now, how does this translate to internal work?

Clearly, by skipping a few details we still were able to address several external stressers. Taking the behaviour and reaction into account, we are able to figure out the internal influences.

Working on yourself is viewing your behaviour, decisions, life events, and exterior/interior influences in a objective manner. This means, coldly analyzing it to understand yourself. Not to put yourself down but to understand the rhyme and reason behind all tht occured.

Subjectively, nothing makes sense. Everything happens too fast. Analyzing your behaviour while acting is a reactionary tactic that ultimately results in problems stacking... Like bags of trash.

Pretty soon, not taking the time to understand and analyze the forces in your life will create a strange attachment to emotional garbage because it have invariably turned to something pivotal or motivational even. Looking at that pile of trash one has collected gives a sense of purpose.

"I will clean it!!!" But only allowing it to build. "I will clean it!" But not letting anyone near that garbage to help. "I will clean it!!" The cage can no longer contain the vast amount of trash.

The external influences has forced the internalized perspective into collecting and focusing on the huge pile of trash. Knowing how every bag is made and it most certainly should be protected from being dragged and tossed down the road for everyone to see. Its to the point where noone can effectively and safely remove the trash by just hauling to a dump or burning it off.

The Trash is now a problem

Assess the problem, analyze the infleunces that created this pattern of behaviour, and now figure out a solution.

Dont accept the blame. There is no blame to be had. Between the massive amounts of negative activity impacting your life outside, your already fragile insides swirled and hooked onto something repetitive, soothing, but feeds into an anxious pattern. Dont accept the blame but take responsibility for your actions and reactions.

Punishing yourself and fretting over the consequence of trash collecting creates hesitation. The trash is toxic. Its leaking every where. Every one can smell it. They want to help remove the trash and are trying to figure out why someone is attached to it.

Beating yourself up and blaming yourself for the trash feeds into that reactionary and fixating behavior. Take a step back and ask the party and yourself what the best solution to fixing this pile of trash.

Putting a tarp over it only hide its visual. Reinforcing the cage prevents the trash from getting out. Fires cover the smell and removes what's easily burnable. But not everything can burn away.

Its a good start but we all need to let go of that garbage.

Sometimes the pile of trash is so big that you need to call some one to come and get it. (Its what ended up happening). Once we estabilshed a solution and once we we able to address the reason for piling garabage, we were able to remove the garbage.

In the story, it was hiring a company to come and take the trash then signing up for a private trash company to come and get it once a week.

Metaphorically this translates to asking a professional whose job is to help people address the reason for ammounting a pile of trash.

Everyone has trash. We all have our reasons for getting emotionally attached to it. Whether its out of fear that some will drag it out in the open, worried what life would be like without it, so on.

Though external interference is required to help address larger piles of trash, one must understand the reason for collecting the trash in the first place.

Self reflection and analysation helps acknowledge the influences and reasons for behaviour. "Why am i collecting garbage and why cant i let it go?"

Having hugely impactful events or chronic problems pushing on you externally can effect one internally. It will exasperate any mental illness or fixation that some one already has. Sometimes it makes sense, most times it only makes sense when doing the behaviour. In any regard, it requires internal retrospection to both understand the problem and coming up with a solution.

Mental illness will tell you to collect trash, make you hate yourself for collecting trash, make you hold onto trash, then punish you for having trash. Mental illness will do everything within its power to continue with that pattern of behaviour.

Mental illness isn't your fault no matter how many times it tries to convince you that it is. Seek a solution, not a punishment. Address the results and work on cleaning it up. Punishing yourself only feeds into the cycle of behaviour of fixating on that metaphorical trash.

....

Ive been experiencing this personally. I am sharing the story i had connected my internal conflict to. I am working on addressing my subjective dallying and mental dancing to avoid staring at my giant pile of stinky, leaky trash.

My solution: Peel back the layers one by one and surely remove the emotional garbage i have been holding onto.

No blame. No hate. Just lots of screaming and crying about the garbage i have so nonsensically grown attached to. I should probably seek a professional to help but as it currently stands, i have walled myself in a trash cage.

Im unable to get through and analyze the resources available let alone fathom the heap that has built up around me.

The first step i took was knowing that i was in trash. I am Not trash. Then removing my attachment to my trash by looking at what influenced me to start collecting in the first place. Was it internal? External? Both?

I am on the brink of convincing myself that i dont need the trash.

A very long and painful process. I still have a ways to go.

....

In conclusion, this is internal work. You reflect on yourself and accept shortcomings without casting blame. Once that is established you can begin working on a solution to address the problems as a result of things that were outside control.

In all of the "basic" spirit work i have practiced, this is the most difficult and longest process of attaining personal balance.

I hate it. It forces me to confront my fixations and behaviours. It causes conflict with my well rooted mental illness and makes me acknowledge the external traumas that brought me to this point.

Despite the pain, in my opinion, this sort of internal work is extraordinarily important. Whether youre part of or outside of the spiritual and faith community.

If you are a faith filled person that employs spirit works, this will be a continual hitch in working with some of the more alien entities. Some will try to drag it out of you and if you aren't fully aware or within the understanding of yourself then your problems will be road hauled for you to plainly see. This will cause more issues and result in further patterned behaviour. You will lose control within this practice if you dont address your own spirit first.

If you're not really a spiritual person, you will continuously transfer the pattern of behaviour in unrelated or all aspects of your life. This makes navigating the rest of your world more difficult as a result.

Thank you for reading my reflective post today. Take it at face value, im clearly jumbling my metaphysical trash pile.

AethyrSecretary 🌙

#witch #witchblr #witchcraft #witches #thank you for the support #thank the gods #thankyou #thanks for coming to my ted talk #my trash #trash #mental health #mental disorder #mentally ill #spiritguide #spiritual #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spiritual work #internal #internal work #painful #long road ahead #keepswimming #keepgoing #seeking balance #metaphor #metaphysical

[jjbaconsumedmysoul]

hi!! important question,what are your thoughts on Mista being a stinky boy? I grew a bit bored of it fast, of course he stinks.He jumps around in that damn cashmere crop top sweater in Italy all day, i Love and Loathe that sweater the same time. Like I also want one but every time I think about him wearing that in Italy I always got a second hand heat stroke, that is a thing now. God he even wears a hat he is killing me (i love him so much). Is it the sweat or is he Mr Stinky? Teach me your ways

ohohohooooo I have so many thoughts about Mista!Maybe I’ve addressed this before but maybe my opinions have changed since then??? anyway...

Okay so after a week of being trailed by assassins and hitmen across Italy and getting shot and slashed at with no change of clothes, i mean obviously he’s gonna be real stanky. But i would think normally, he’s not THAT BAD. 

I think he’s a hairy boy except maybe his face... he probably does shave his face even if he don’t have a lot of facial hair growin there to begin with. But he probably doesn’t do it often, and I don’t think he showers often either. I feel like sometimes he just forgets? Or he’s doing something else and is too lazy to shower? And he is most definitely a sweaty boy.. I dont even want to think about that sweater, I really hope he washes it, or at least has.... several of them? Also those pants are leather boy he must be hot i mean he is hot but uuuuhhh  

Anyway I’m sure his s/o will remind him to take showers and use deodorant and wash his sweater and his underwear and... can he start wearing some reasonable clothes? how can a sweater be a crop top ANYWAY?!

[wantbabybump]

The Truth.

What people dont tell you about motherhood is that it can come with a profound amount of sadness. In a world full of social media and everyone wanting to portray themselves in the best light possible cause people are so judgemental and opionated now a days. We dont see the real picture. We see pregnancy announcement, but we dont see the anxiety that comes with announcing cause maybe thats her rainbow baby. We see the maternity pictures but we dont see the girl thats struggling with her changing body and finding ways to love her new self. We see the just born pictures but we dont see the fear that comes with not knowing what to expect. we dont see the amount of pain a woman is still in cause they are pressing on her tummy every few hours. We see the coming home photos. But we dont realize that the dad drove 2 miles a hour just make it safe. We see the newborn photos but we dont see the shots where the baby cried for a hour, where they peed all over the dad. And we definitely glamourize the first few months. When you think of a newborn you think of a squishy little baby that eats and sleeps. You dont think of the fact that you will live off of broken sleep for however many months. You dont realize as a first time mom that you will be afraid to leave your baby long enough to shower but then feel like utter crap cause you havent showered. You have to learn to not be selfish. Sure maybe you were married but you didn't put all your needs.. even basic needs above your husband. You now have someone who comes first always and forever. And while thats a "burden" taken gladly its still a adjustment. No one tells you how hard its going to be. They will say "wait til you have a baby, enjoy that sleep now". But you just dont realize exactly what that means til your in the thick of it a week in going on 2hours of broken sleep a day and still have no time for yourself. No one tells you how lonely it will be. Even though you have added another person to your house its so lonely. That little squishy has you tethered to your home especially if its a winter baby. You think that you will finally fit in with your friends but they will be to busy for you and your needs. After all they have kids already. Your husband will be working most of the day, come home want to eat, play with squishy and want to sleep. Even though he didn't get up with the babe all night he probaly heard him crying and still didn't get a decent night of rest.

No one tells you just how emotionally taxing it can be. When you dont have kids and think about the thought of it. You think about the unconditional love. You dont realize the anxiety, stress, and self inflicted pressure that you will put yourself through. Emotionally you think that adding a baby will be nothing but joy and love to your life. But its kind of like picking traits in a game or skill points. If you start off with three like say social, confident, outgoing. You need to minus something to make room for the parenting trait if that makes sense. You cant have it all. Maybe eventually as the squishy gets older, motherhood begins to be in a groove and babe sleeps longer. But the first few months you wont even have the energy to be social or motivation to reach out to people. No one tells you how it has effected their marriage. Its not all lets look at this beautiful babe that we created together. Its placing blame on something that was no ones fault. Its critizing the other cause they aren't doing it the "right way". Its fighting cause you dont think one is doing enough to help. Or its fighting cause one is being overbearing or controlling. When in all reality the fights are fear. Fear of not knowing what your doing. The fights are a result of not enough sleep and everything is bound to upset you. The fights are two people trying to learn to live and be in love in a completely different way then what they pictured in their head. Ive never wanted to end my marriage as much as I did in the first year. Looking back now was most of what I was upset about completely justified, probably not. Was the lack of sleep and always feeling helpless clouding my feelings and attitude very much so. The first year your body still goes through changes. Hormonally things have to level back out. There will be crazy period patterns. Hair loss. Physicaly your body will be different point blank. Unless your a one in a million unicorn who poops out a baby and then looks like a model. But you will probably have weight you want to lose but who has time. When you do lose it your stomach will still be soft. Much softer then it ever was as your old "fat self". Pregnancy weight gain then weight loss will most like give you some type of stretchmarks. Not even just on your tummy. Your hair will always have a coat of dry shampoo in it. And you will probably hate your body. You will think your husband hates your body. But does he hate your body.. not a chance in hell. If anything you have gave him the greatest gift he will ever recieve and to him that will just be sexy. Sexy will look different in your relationship. Sexy wont be lingerie and candle light dinners. Sexy will be a frozen pizza and you wearing his shirt in some yoga pants. What you thought of sexy when you would think of your husband will change also. Sexy will be him watching the baby so you can take a bath and wash your hair and shave your legs. Sexy will be him taking a night feed. Sexy will be him offering to change a stinky diaper. I know this probably sounds all negative and you probably think jeeze why even have a baby this sounds terrible. But let me tell you all the good and the love definitely out weighs anything I wrote here. And theres a light and once you get a routine and you get use to your new life and embrace it. Once you become confident in your parenting motherhood will be amazing. I wrote this not to scare people. I wrote this so moms who are pregnant, moms who have had kids, wives who want to have a baby they know that their feelings aren't uncommon or that they are horrible cause they feel that way. Its okay if you didn't enjoy motherhood at first cause you were overwhelmed and scared beyond belief with whats the right decisions. Its normal to feel these feelings. I remember my first few months home alone with my squishies i felt so isolated. I felt like I didnt know anything. I felt like everything I did was wrong. Every decision I made I second guessed later on. And most of all I felt judged. I felt like everyone was looking at me and just waiting for me to mess up so they can rub it in... I've had 3 kids.. do it this way. That's so wrong. Instead of encouraging me. And saying in my experience this seems like a easier approach to the situation you should try it and see what you think. People are to opinionated now a days. They like to tell you whats  you did wrong but they dont want to take the time to show you a better way. They want to tell you that your mother this is expected of you. They dont like to think back to their first baby. I just want to let you know. You are not alone. Your feelings are valid. Things will get better.

#motherhood #first time mom #mom of twins #postpartum #mommylife #mommyblogger #ivfbaby #I beat infertility #rainbowbaby #sanctimommy

[gooodmorninsunshine]

Part V: Lets talk about SSS: Our Senses and the Importance of SilenceHey Empaths: “Feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the ziploc gang”

Hey Heyyy lovely amazing humans,

  Were gonna keep it lighter today, a bit of a controversial day out here and in that regard ive relaxed a little bit here in my writing and getting pretty darn comfortable with this flow "exxxcuse me flow" D & D reference. 

You’re gonna get to know me a little more  about my real authentic true self, this writing is who I really am. 

Growing up in a broken system has opened my eyes, yes all three of them, if for those of you that are my peeps you’ll understand that reference.

 Also you're gonna see more Dumb and Dumber quotes and probably a Buttt Ton of Will Ferell. 

I tend to write how I talk. 

But for this instance i wont let letters draggg on as much, but hey you know if you text me and your one of me peeps I always exaggerate letters because its just the way I speak, very enthusiastically.

I also notice when my brain is in a flow I type quickly and for some reason smell checking it just a pet peeve for me so yes this may be riddled with some spelling errors. Did ya notice the word smell instead of spell? I really have always disliked going back and re reading my work. The essays my teachers would give back to me were practically all underlined in red and read ‘ use a dictionary next time’

***but also keep in mind when you do notice a spelling error, notice your brain during this. Your brain picks up on mistakes quickly instead of understanding the sentence itself.

Wasn't there a math trick that showed this? 

1+1=3

4+1=5

3+1=4 

Did your brain do it? Automatically went to the wrong math equation, instead of noticing the other 2 correct ones. We're not perfect human beings, so lets not be to critical of others and ourselves and try not to notice the mistakes and instead take in the things that resonate with you, try to retrain the mind to accept this and dive in***

****Big Thank You to all the empaths out there! Thank you for keeping this flow going for me, you know who you are and none of this writing would have been possible without you, thanks for helping me find me and my comfort zone, Hallelujah!***

Lets all Shhhhhh for a moment,

Were gonna go mute and talk about the importance of our other senses

We are so much more than just words

We all learn our behaviour from somewhere and this begins at a very young age

Before we learn to speak, our mind is being conditioned 

We are very observant creatures, especially at a young age when we are muted we tend to pick up more on the reactions and responses of others while watching their movements and mannerisms. 

When we are muted our other senses are heightened and smell and taste become much more apparent.

When were not able to verbally communicate yet, or ever for some, we naturally rely on our other senses to help us navigate through life.

Communication and connection through our senses is pretty powerful stuff and can create alot of insight about ourselves. And Hey aren't we all just trying to figure out who we really are?

our body talks to us all day long such as

Ive got an itch on my nose so my hand scratches it or ouch I stubbed my toe, which recently happened to both chic and mom within a few days of each other.

Our body is constantly communicating with itself and most of this happens unconsciously. 

Our brain thinks about something and our body just does it. Obviously theres more science to it than that but hey lets stay light today and honestly i dont feel like trying to learn all the terminology. Sometimes the details complicate things, lets keep it simple 

Unconscious communication is more prevalent when you consider muscle memory. 

 Do you ever unconsciously reach for something and its not there? And afterward realizing its not there you process this. 

 This usually happens when i go to brush my teeth, I open the drawer grab it without even looking down. 

 Our body recalls specific motions and patterns that we do more regularly and saves this information. 

This can be gooood and also bad. 

 I am right now trying to become more aware of these patterns such as putting on the kettle without even asking myself do i really want a tea right now? 

Its important for us to stop and think about the movements were actually making and why. 

Unconscious communication through muscle memory can also be a good thing such as typing on this keyboard right now. 

 This type of communication with the body can enhance our lives more efficiently but that doesnt necessarily mean its more effective. 

Multi tasking is a great skill yes yes and includes alot of muscle memory especially in a work place setting. However weve got to consider how well are we actually doing each task. 

Were kind of half assing all the tasks instead of doing an exceptional job dedicated to one task only. 

 Because we live in a 'consumer convenience' era, multi tasking is expected at every job and if you cant keep up well hey they'll find someone who will. Places of employment no longer value the same skills they once used to, but lets leave that stuff for another day. 

So were always chit chattin to our bodies, whether we realize it or not and vise versa

Our bodies are always communicating with us, we just gotta pay more attention sometimes. I am guilty of this in this moment as my lower back aches a bit from sitting and writing and i should go do a quick stretch.

Connecting with our body and my senses has given me alot of insight Its important for me to remember how essential my other senses are

Yes words are powerful and beautiful and conveying, however lets dive into our other awesome gifts first

Stop! in the namee of LOVE and smell the roses: SMELL

Smell is something we really do take for granted now a days

We forget to smell fresh flowers and fresh berries

Smell the air around us and the changes it has on your body when it blows

Smell that beautiful ocean breeze and notice the small of the Sulphur, the marine life and sometimes sure it can be a wee bit stinky on the shoreline

But our ability to smell is really quite unique and special and affects us all differently. Strong perfumes personally give me and many other people a headache.

We are all so beautifully different and lets embrace it all. 

Animals of course have a much more heightened sense of smell

Animals without the capability to speak rely solely on their senses

A bear can smell meat 5 miles away, cmon now 5 miles, that’s honestly wild to try and comprehend.

5 miles is over 8000 m and if you remember running the 100 M dash in gym class well that’s a great distance to go.

 Its recommended when your hiking long distance trails not to pack meat, especially near the end of the berry season. When you are hiking you will see 'bear box or caches' in some camping areas, this is obviously to cover the scent.

***But cmon who loves Will Ferell? I definitely do! Anchorman classic  "the bears can smell the menstruation" funny joke for sure, except its not really a joke. 

Ive spoke to a few hikers who backpack and said this is actually real and bears can smell blood from 5 miles away. I have legitimately been told not to go hiking when i am on my cycle. I have also spoken to a few people who have said nahh thats not true so honestly who knows, but Im not signing up for that experiment regardless. 

Have you ever smelt a specific flower or perfume or pool water or gasoline, or obviously theres over 1000 plus infinity smells. Have you ever smelt something recently and it reminded you of a previous time in your life? Sometimes smell can take you back to past memories and things that you forgot about, sometime a scent can transcend us back to that very moment. I have experienced this among many many others. When we are open and relaxed this is much more abundant.

Who doesn't love to go outside after it rains, or even better during it and dance to a little John Melloncamp with the fam jam, that ones for you dad!

The ground and the air sure smells extra fresh after a good rainstorm, the earth's natural cleanser. 

Who else lovesssss water, in all of its varying and uniquely different forms, and temperatures.

Probablyyyy most of us as it’s essential for our survival. 

Who loves a nice cold shower? Always good to do for a nice body reset and actually recommended by some more wise individuals. 

Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a dip in the lake?

Are there any other mermaids out there? Or anybody with alot of water in their charts? Swimming for some of us is one of the most incredible sensations. Floating and flippin around in the waves is really freeeing for the body and the mind. 

Campfires

Im not sure if your the same as my awesome little hippie family but we love this smell, and the smell of a campfire puts us all into an instant relax chill mode. 

* Also if you want to get even weirder like us, leave your campfire scented sweater for when you wake up in the morning and youll automatically be in a relaxed mood. And i know its not just my and my fam who does this cause ive met a few of you that find great comfort in this as well. 

Nature and its elements are so calming eh. Scents both knowing or not can dictate our moods and reactions

Scents remind us of our memories and they remind us of what we do and do not enjoy

Most people dislike the smell of cigarettes, for some its a memory association response and for some they have hold onto some judgements about it.

Have you ever walked by a group of people who dont have access to a washing machine and thought 'eww gross?'

Sometimes our mind associates scents negatively and unknowingly we allow it to dictate our reactions or opinions. 

Whatever people are wearing or smellin like you can still give them a smile, be sure to take your mask off so they can seeee and feeel your enthusiastic energy. 

 Smiles go a long long long way for people and when you smile at something that typically your judgmental about, your showing your brain whose BOSS, your teaching it to change your reactions and stop meaningless and inauthentic opinions by doing so. 

Everyones got a favourite scent, i wonder what yours is and why? What does it remind you of? What scents trigger you in a negative way and why? Smell is much more prevalent when we are calm and relaxed

Mmmm food, keepin our bellies happy keeps us happy : TASTE

Our amazingly sophisticated taste buds and their ability to decipher from each other and every flavour we put into our mouths. And thank you universe and mother earth for such variety. Our taste buds change over time which ive always found of kind of interesting, they sort of mature with age alongside ourselves

***If my dad was here today he would be telliing you all about this.

"your tastebuds are gonna change one day guys' and my sisters and I would obviously disagree as children tend to do with their parents when their trying to avoid their vegetables. 

As I child I would always get a ham, cheese and mayo sub.

And I do mean ALWAYS, for about a decade that never changed

And my dad would often recommend i put some veggies on there, I must say i felt fairly strongly about my dislike of veggies growing up, I typically went for the meat and cheese, chic for the potatoes and my older sis would go for the veggies, she knew the importance of eating well at a very young age.

Our dad was pretty darn accommodating when it came to this tho because of course it wasn't just me, chic was the same and well we know were stronger in groups right? So my dad eventually gave up and he started to make his famous chicken alfredo in two batches. He would make his and the lovely amazing human he was with at this time. He would make theirs with peppers, onions and mushrooms. 

I am almost drooling and i havent finished the sentence yet, which reminds me of ***Parlov's Dog experiment* This references how powerful our nervous system is in connection to our body and includes how impactful our memory can be.

He would make theirs, and a separate one for chic and I with only the Alfredo and chicken. But hey we loved it and ate it every time so he stopped fighting us and just reminded us in a very funny manner, just wait till your taste buds change one day guys, and we would laugh at this ridiculously absurd possibility. Annnnd thann!     

Luckily my dad was still around to see this development actually happen We would tell him about all the veggies we put in our food now a days and all the new veggies weve learned about, and he was in shock when he learned i dont even eat meat anymore and actually follow more of a plant based diet. He had the biggest smile on his face, ' seeeee i told you guys' he would say. 

We sometimes take this sense for granted, shoveling food into our mouths at such a fast pace because we only have an hour lunch break at work.

Do you know its recommended to chew food, 27 or 28 times? Can't recall that i learned  it recently, but that recommendation dates back to an ancient Indian philosophy telling us to slow down when we are eating, its better for our digestion as well. 

Did you know how long it actually takes for a home cooked meal to be ready? forrrrrrrever it feels like sometimes. 

 My family could tell you more about this one specifically as they make bigger meals for their own families now. 

 Lasagna or shepards pie is coming to mind right now, mom and chic make the best dishes! This process requires time and is well worth it afterwards, a nice home cooked meal for the family. Meat or no meat whatever your into. 

Its nice to sit down together and appreciate good conversation and home cooked meals, your own little community gathering. 

Families still do this yes, its just not as common, for very understandable reasons, no one has any of their OWN time anymore.

Both parents are now expected to work to survive, our new age, obviously this beautiful tradition is much harder to consistently continue and gradually fades away. 

Conveniently during this we saw a massive rise in  technology resulting in overstimulation in children and less availability for social skills to develop. A family sitting down together over dinner and chattin about their day is really quite a sacred tradition to cherish. 

Naturally with our chaotic world we forget the importance this could have on us and our healthy developments. 

Its funny cause as kids we always found this so annoying and couldn't wait to leave the dinner table to get back outside, completely unaware the length of time it takes to cook a meal. As an adult I find I really cherish the times i am able to get back and over to my moms kickass backyard and hang with my family over a beautiful meal. And you know if youve ever come to momma bears house just how smoothly this whole operation goes. 

***Momma Bears backyard shenanigan's... Hey Farvo! Whats the place we used to go to all the time? Super trooper reference, another classsic*** 

Chics preppin the veggies, shes got all her spices going, moms gettin the BBQ lit and they debate whose gonna cook. As i am typing this im realizing i haven't been pulling my weight as much as i could be, gosh i am so spoiled! Real families making real food today is a process and its quite a beautiful one. The preparation involved as a team is very bonding. So sit down and enjoy it afterwards and try and give your fam jam your full attention, you might notice a difference emotionally. 

***One trick my nana tried to teach me was to put my knife and fork down between bites in order to train myself to slow down while enjoying a meal.

Sometimes in this chaotic world, not crazy world because that term is used very loosely now and we throw it around, again I face this challenge many many times because as an empath I see, feel and observe from a different perspective. 

And many many many of you are exactly the same, obviously perceiving things all differently but you get what i mean, we've all got this in us. 

We all have the ability to quickly view both sides of a circumstance if we are able to be open and calm. If your different its time to embrace it! 

Being different is wayyyy cooler and more fun when you find your peeps obviously, and this is really starting to happen for me. When you find your community that you vibe with, wow magical things can happen.  

Sometimes in our chaotic consumer driven era we do not have the time to enjoy a meal, we simply need the energy to fuel us for the rest of the day. It doesn't have to be this way, slow down, stop working overtime and keep our guts happy, remember its considered to be our second brain. 

What we ingest is very important for our emotional and physical development.  Its important to know what food we are ingesting and whether it benefits your body or not. Most of us don't even look at labels anymore, we buy it from the store and trust that its safe, and yes this includes me, who has time to read all those ingredients right? And google all those long complicated words.

Our senses have incredible capabilities and i have definitely taken them for granted. We beat our body constantly by eating process foods and smelling and using toxic products. I am very guilty of this as I really did not pay attention nor care about what i ate and drank in previous years. 

This was also related to some underlying issues so it was important for me to WAKE UP and deal with my shit in order to start caring about what I was putting into my body.    

***Our body is our temple, our soul dictates how it is treated*** 

**See RAT PARK experiment: We are a by product of our environment and this does affect our senses and the connections to our body***

Do you live in a city?

I do and i am definitely breathing in more pollution than someone whose livin their best air life up north in the woods.

Do you live beside a farm? The soil, the grass and the air can influence your body emotionally and physically. The methane from all the cows poooop is something people are looking into more seriously, among other reasons.

Do you live by a nuclear plant or garbage and recycling centre?

Do you notice a difference emotionally and physically when you are out walking in the woods, old growth forests all around? You're finally getting clean oxygen and this is essential for our healthy development. Of course we must consider the hike itself, walking in nature and getting healthy exercise. Stuff like this is a big factor and can improve your development emotionally and physically. But have you ever noticed how great you feel afterwards? 

*Nature is magic, nature is healing and nature is our medicine***

Come and knock on our door, weve been waiting for you! :SOUND

Most of us are born with the ability to hear and now a days tech is so fancy they are able to help individuals who have trouble with this. Those who do not have this sense means their other senses are naturally heightened which is pretty incredible as well when we consider this. Our body is incredible and decides hey were sorry you cant hear, our bad, lets kick up all your other senses in return.  

Something I experience from an old knee injury is some back issues because my body has been overcompensating on the one side for so long. Pretty neat to think that even when were hurtin our body is able to support us

Our ability to hear sounds still boggles me because new sounds and patterns just keep on coming around,this will never end, limitless creative possibilities

We just gotta stay focused enough to create. 

Infinite possibilities, never stop creating! We can make music, play instruments, become a dj like my super cool cuz, for real check him out, what do they say now a days? hes dopppppe! 

WE can shuffle our feet around, whistle and clap our hands. 

Sounds can gesture signs of appreciation and can also indicate signs of warning. 

Have you ever been walking downtown and faintly hear the sound of someone screaming and it scares you? Whats your reaction to this very moment? Do you flee to help them? Are you automatically scared? Do you freeze? Its important to start to notice our responses, in these particular situations. We believe we have no control over our reactions, but we do and we can change them.

Have you ever noticed when you work with the same people you begin to listen to their foot patterns and can figure out whose coming

That may sound extreme to some but let me tell ya everybody moves their feet differently and if you and if you work with someone enough youll start to notice this pattern and even know whose coming in the room before our sight registers it.

Sound allows us to decipher between a saxophone and drums, among many many other instruments. Sounds picks up unconsciously on different frequencies and their levels affect us more than we realize. There is a really neat deep sleep app i use and because the frequency is different it helps you fall asleep faster and into a more REM cycle, something about delta waves? 

Our ability to hear allows us to become musicians and singers like wonderful MS, she sung in the kitchen when we were making food together in costa rica and it was so very enchanting. Have you ever just heard someone's voice and sort of fall into a bit of a meditative state? MS has the ability to do this! and naturally other people felt safe enough to join in allowing themselves to open up further. We are connected and help eachother on this wild ride of life.

Embrace our beautiful gifts and keep on roaring!

We can recreate ourselves, or how I like to see it, we return to our true self without all of the systems conditioning. We can free our minds!  

We can choose a song we want to listen to next and make a playlist, this is all apart of creation! *Also please share your awesome playlists with me, I would love to hear them***

Have you ever noticed how your mood can shift when 'your jam' comes on, instantly lifts your mood, a game changer we say. Sound gives your body the ability to overrride your emotional thought process.

Whatever your thinking about changes in an instant. An example of this is when someone honks their horn, and thanks sis for talking about the mustang today. But lets play this scenario out, your driving, your cruising, your jamming to your fav song on the radio, windows down, life is grand. Than BAM someone honks a horn and suddenly everything changes. 

Or what about when your walking downtown and you consistently hear the sound of sirens, dont you think psychologically this could affect someone deeply, more deeply than others due to underlying trauma. Maybe someone whose gone through this hears the sound of an ambulance or police car and it instantly reminds them of traumatic event, causing them to react differently, causing them to react from their flight or flight nervous system.

Maybe some people do not trust authority because they have never been shown the same level of respect in the system. 

Or what about someone who has experience a fire? and they hear the sound of a firetruck and well surely that sound could activate their fight or flight system.

Or what about the sounds of the birds in the morning?

Birds are also very powerful and unique creatures and for fun sometimes i like to watch them in the morning fly around chasing each other, animals still play! Humans still play!

You could be walking to work in a rush because time is a constructed illusion and your body knows this, but regardless you're stressed out and racing to work. Suddenly you hear the birds, and if you can take a second or longer, this really can calm you down. Animals make the coolest noises, elephants, monkeys, dolphins, all communicate non verbally and effectively because guess what they're still huntin and sleepin as a team. Watch some planet earth and see how they unite non verbally, its pretty powerful. 

Animals have incredible capabilities and utilize all their other sense for their survival. Humans also have incredibly heightened senses, truly a gift that we forget to embrace sometimes because were so busy in our go go consumer convenient society.

Eye spy with my little Eye :SIGHT

How long has it been since you played that? Hang out with some of your nieces and start playing again. Bring back your inner child because honestly having fun and being silly is what life is all about.

Our eyes, have you ever stopped to think about how amazing this actually is. We can see for miles, some not as far as others even further. Weve all got different colors and capabilities. And if this is lacking well our world is pretty advanced so they can hook ya up with some pretty great eyewear these days, or even now laser surgery can correct this. Dang eh thats cool, the gift of vision is now readily available! 

We can see colours, we can see rainbows, different shades etc 

*or are colours just a projection of our reality?*** Oh la la heavy subject definitely wont dive into that one anytime soon* 

Our sight allows us to see mountains and oceans, we can go from city to city, continent to continent and see varying landscapes and architectures.

Have you ever thought of your ideal travel destinations? 

Where would you want to go and why? 

What are you curious about these days?

Our eyes distinguish the difference between yellow and orange, and for some they see all brown and dont know theyre actually wearing purple. I couldn’t imagine being colour blind I think that would be really challenging. But I guess if your born that way you don’t really learn any different right so your other senses adjust accordingly.

Our eyes have the ability to adjust to the light around us, and this is important when you want to get out at night and just stare above. The stars the moon the planets, its all connected to us down here on earth. 

Take a moment to see if you can feel this, try to get out on the next meteor shower, or even just look up more often at night if you can, its so elegant and beautifully complex up there. 

Astrology we will definitely have to get into in another chapter, but for fun if you can find out what time you were born, where and when, check out your birth chart. Not everyone believes in this which is all good. I do however believe that we come from the universe above. I like to believe that the stars, the planets, how everything is lined up when you were born is kind of like your soul DNA code.

For fun look up your birth chart and see if you learn anything new about yourself? 36 pages of free info all about you! Some may not resonate of course but its pretty insightful to figure out your elements and all THREE of your signs

*Take a few minutes and enjoy your senses*** This is called a grounding technique and is very effective. If your feelin a lot of knots in your stomach than take a moment, slow down, notice your surroundings and focus on your senses.

What are you smelling? 

Do you need to put deodorant on? And those of you that know me understand why I ask this speiific question.  

I like to use something without aluminum in it because I learned that sweating is very natural and its not really that healthy to be clogging up our pores. 

Our bodies need to sweat out the toxins and its trying to get it out. 

I tend to use a natural odorizer and it takes away the smell but the moisture still get outs. Or honestly a little trick i taught the community that I have done before is baking soda, cheap and very effective, sprinkle a little on and your ready to go on that tinder or bumble or whatever more dating apps they got now a days. 

and yes I to have tried them before but in doing so I have learned that I am not as social as I thought and thats okay. Hangin quietly with someone on a deeper level and talkin about real shit is what excites me. Aristotle theories vs Plato, Where did we all come from? and Of course watching Cosmos from our genious buddy Neil Degrassi Tyson. I cherish real and authentic conversations with people. Enough with the superficial blah blah ya know, Substance and Value in conversations helps me comprehend information quicker. and right now I wannnna learn more and more and I find when you converse with others on the same level your mind expands.

What are you smelling?

What are you hearing?

Is the dishwasher going? 

Is the water dripping from the tap? 

Is the toilet running? And if so make sure you tell your landlord cause that shit costs alot of extra money for them, sorry momma bear for your last tenant but thank you for this valuable life lesson!

Do you taste anything? is your mouth dry? Do you still taste the kale smoothie you just had? Mix it with some other flavors yum yum!

What are you hearing?

I don't live as close to downtown anymore thankfully so i don't hear the sirens as much when im at home trying to relax. i honestly never realized how much they affected me until i moved elsewhere. The loud noises, the abrupt sounds, and the constant reminder that someone somewhere else is suffering in this very moment, kind of pulls on your heart strings a little right? 

We are obviously dealing with a very serious Opioid crisis right now and the sirens are non stop here. It brings me a bit of sadness. I like to have a quick prayer for whoever they are attending to and hope they make it. The opioid crisis is even more amplified and Ive gotta carry two kits of Naloxone at work instead of one. But thats also a topic for another day. 

ohhhh i got the feeeelin' : TOUCH

And lastly are amazing gift, the sensation of touch and feel.

This one is heckaaa important as well.

We get to feel all sorts of different textures when were in kindergarten class, remember that board with all the different felts and such on it? 

Thank you universe for our opposable thumbs.

Humans get to run sand through their fingers, feel the water wash over them and walk barefoot in the woods

***also important to look up, actually forget looking it up just go and dooooo it! 

There are a lot of benefits to walking barefoot in the woods or somewhere clean and safe in nature. 

 Reflexology is super fascinating and essentially all of your organs can be traced back to the bottom of your feet. Its important to walk around with no shoes on as often as you can when your outside somewhere you feel safe. Feel the grass under your toes, dip your feet into the cold ocean and walk on rocks for fun. Honestly after a while your feet are so strong and they toughen up.

*** sista lovin right here***

Chic and I used to RUN barefoot across the rocks at the trailer, honestly we would sprint to see who could get to the beach the fastest. Not like it mattered tho mom and dad always made us wait...they would take their sweeeet time laaaa deee daaa, you know how parents tend to do that as their in relax mode. But this didnt change anything for us, everytime we would still run and run and run to see who could get there first. ya know that good ol competitive sibling nature. Theyd give us the nod when they got close enough and we jumped in that water as quickly as we could. We would swim to the other side of the river and whoevers cottage it was, but he had a dock. We had to be pretty sneaky cause sometimes he would come down and yell at us. 

Little did he know, we knew the patterns of the rocks to climb up his place, and obviously we would just start diving and diving some more. 

We’d be practicing our flips and shouting ‘hey watch this one” you know how kids always tend to do cause their so excited to show off their cool new moves!

 The feel of the rocks, the grass, than the sand, and the water, it’s a pretty beautiful gift we have to experience all these sensations in only a few minutes.  

Remember how good it used to feel running for no reason? 

Like pheobe on friends?

just running with no care in the world, now thats authentic livin. 

Its actually healthy for our development and fluid functioning for us to blow off some steam, for everyone, get that natural adrenaline out every so often, punch a bag or go for a run, whatever works for you, its your body and you know better than anyone else what outlets work for you. 

Touch, well we all know where this sense can lead us...lets talk about sex baby,

but actually no thats a whole nother topic for a different day. 

More importantly sex wasnt meant for what some of us think. Sex is actually something very special and sacred. And for women we are allowing a mans energy into our body and we need to be aware that this is actually a big deal. Sex is not meant to be expolited like it is advertised today. 

Women we gotta protect our energy at times. **Thank you MS for this amazing insight, you're wonderful and keep on singing girl!*** and men with other men should really consider this to. 

When another person enters your energy field it can shift you unconsciously emotionally and physically.

Touch can be non sexual and yet still intimate. An ancient Indian tradition is to rub sesame oil over your body and massage your limbs one by one, start to investigate your own body intimately and im not talking about in a sexual manner so get your mind outta the gutter because thats where it tends to go when this conversation is mentioned.  Massage your feet, rub your arms, feel your skin, this is all part of you and your skin has a ton of nerves attached that want a little love and nourishment sometimes. 

 Notice if you go over a body part like your arm or nose or whatever it is for ya, are you judging yourself? 

 These are only your OWN judgements and those thoughts really dont belong in your mind anyways. **You are amazing! Re train your mind to stop judging yourself* Take it easy and remember you’re doin the best you can. Honestly it works! Keep telling yourself how much you love you! *** also important to do your shadow work, you can’t have fake positivity floating around all the time, eventually you’ve gotta look deeper, this is how to reach true happiness. Investigate the dark in order to get to the light***

*If ya wanna try for fun one night cut up some onions, grab a pair of tight socks, put it all together and go to sleep. 

You’d be amazed at the amount of toxins that come out of your body at night when doing this. Because hey our feet are attached to all the others parts of our body to.   

You can also touch others intimately and again not in a sexual manner. 

Give someone else a massage, honestly it will make their day because touch is sacred and special. Notice how good you feel after a massage, and how relaxed you feel.

Take some time to slow down and feel your body, explore it and get comfortable with, Its important to cherish it and treat our body respectfully. It is our body and we deserve to to love it, every bit of it. This is something I am still working on but it is really helping allowing me to just be more free, dance around like ya just dont care, put your hands together for a nice little prayer, explore your limbs and how they move differently. 

We have this notion that touch is only meant to be used in a sexual manner and this really is not the case. 

Massage your feet, they will appreciate it. 

Our bodies are all uniquely beautiful and our soul thrives off this connection, feeling safe and comfortable with yourself and others

Our bodies are incredible eh!  And i havent even gotten into the actually anatomy of it.

PSYCH! i will not be doing that, i commend all of you who know each and every bone and muscle etc, thats actually super important information to educate ourselves on, but whose got the time unless thats your main study.

Our senses are very influential on us. 

Our senses actually have the ability to snap us out of our thinking process, and lets face it, sometimes we all need that

***remember your emotions are the clouds in the sky, and they come, they go, they pass, but its the blue sky underneath, that's who you REALLY are***

Our senses restore memories, memories that we honestly didnt know we would ever recall, and this experience can bring you right back into that moment, good or bad, so its important to try and learn our triggers. Lets all get a little proactive with our emotional health and get ahead of it, when you start telling your body whose the boss, your soul returns back to its true nature.

**also did we ever find out who was the boss? Angela or tony? is that debate still going on?***

I remember having a fresh blackberry from this garden place up the road, and honestly it was theeeee besst ever.

 It took me right back to the first moment i had ever tried one that was fresh off the tree. I instantly was brought back to my friends cottage that sat on the lake, the bunkee that all the kids would sleep in and the layout of the landscape. In an instant it all came back, it was very profound.  

**also gotta add, "feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the Fabreeze sisters" There he is again, ferell, except im changing the brothers to sisters because thats the bond i relate to the most.***

All of our senses can connect us to something deeper

All of our senses impact us much more than we give them credit for

I recommend attending a silent retreat and through the week notice how your senses heighten when you are muted. There is no room for people pleasing, fake smiles or inauthentic conversations, this is time just for you. and i highly to recommend trying this experience. You will most likely notice your surroundings much more, and this time allows you to appreciate the smaller things

. ***Costa Rica, Howler monkeys every where yes yes super cool! 

but whats also interesting is how much more the entire community noticed them when we were silent. 

We all stopped and watched them, silently. We noticed their patterns more and also how they grab the mangos, they eat a few bites that are ripe and than they drop the rest on the ground, so loook out from ABOVE!***

TBC: to much content for one day! 

Everybody Love Everybody

[mrsimplelang-blog]

Relationship with Friends

“Making new friends shoudnt mean losing old ones”

First i will defone friends , Friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

Honestly i dont really have a lot of friends , But all of them are not fake. They are like brothers and sisters to me.

Here are some reasons why friends are important

15.Share secrets.

Friends are the secret reservoirs. Friends are the ones to share all the little and large secrets and happening of the life. Secrets about our crush, the kiss, the date, our family problems, the mishaps, the embarrassing moments, the funny stories and the list cover anything and everything in life.

14.Boost self-confidence.

We may doubt our decisions and abilities, but our friends will never do so. Through the most nerve wreaking moments of life, they stand by us confidently making us believe in ourselves. At times we gain the confidence to take risks and huge leaps just because of the belief they show.

13.Comfort zone.

Pajamas, messy buns, no makeup, drooling face, stinky sweat or running nose, they don’t care any of it! Our friends have seen us in the ugliest appearances and situations of life, and they still decided to stick by. We feel comfortable around them, and there’s nothing that can be a hurdle in this comfort level.

12.Away from loneliness.

Being alone, away from the world, can be appealing at times but loneliness for an extended period becomes extremely depressing. Hence, friends come as the cure for loneliness. They are our full-time companion in a stranger’s parties, receivers of the late night calls, a partner in the class benches and are always present by our sides. Imagining the world without friends, and being alone in the outside world

11.Hilarious inside jokes.

Being with friends means an opportunity to share and hear endless jokes. We all have those little hints and code words for the people we dislike that only our group of friends know. Those are the moments that remain enlightened in our hearts forever. The jokes about the annoying teacher or boss, the uncivilized guy or over-dramatic girl in the locality, are something that can light up the mood anytime.

10.Partner in Crime.

Friends are the permanent partner in all our crimes. No matter how serious and sincere we are, our friends have pushed us to break unimaginable rules, which are engraved in our hearts as most fabulous memories. At the times of trouble, friends have stayed by our sides and shared the responsibilities with fun. They have the strange power of turning every bad moment into hilarious and memorable ones.

9.Listener.

There are times when we want to rant and whine. Away from the boundaries of age and maturity, at such moments all we wish to do is complain and keep complaining without making any sense. Friends lend us the ears to make these possible. They don’t judge nor preach, rather listen to the nonsense coming out of mouth pretending to understand.

8.The shoulder to cry on.

When heartbreaks or other situations become extremely hard to tolerate, friends offer us their shoulder to shed our tears on. They provide us the loving warm arms that wrap us away from the harsh times.

7.Reality Check.

Friends know us so well that they have the ability to predict and capture situations which we are in denial of. It could be the ridiculous outfit we are wearing or the boyfriend cheating on us. They bring the harsh truth in front of us. Friends make sure to keep our foot on earth when we are wondering on the 7thheaven with happiness, away from the ugly reality. Initially, we may fight and turn away from acceptance, but in the long run, they are always right.

6.Acceptance.

They know us inside out. They know our flaws, weaknesses, ugly truths, dark past, and insecurities and still choose to remain by our side. Friends accept and love us for who we are. They do not intend to chance us like our parents, girlfriends or boyfriends.

5.Encouragement.

At the most difficult endeavors and embarrassing decisions, we always find our friends cheering from the sidelines. They may not always believe in the ideas and plans, but friends will never become the hurdle in the path of achieving our visions.

4.Understanding.

No one in the world, understand our thinking, dreams and desires like friends do. Plus, the main reason of choosing to do friendship is to be with someone who understands and does not judge. Our friends generally have common ideology and opinions, hence it becomes easy for them to perceive.

3.Always available.

Especially after school and college days, friends tend to go to different directions in life thus geographically separate. However, the hearts always remain together. With good friends, we are assured that even after years of separation; they will always show up when in need. It may be 3 am in the night or 12 noon, friends are forever ready to help.

2.Unconditional love.

Our parents love us because we are their children. Our wives or husbands love us because of the marriage. Our family loves us because we share blood. However, friends love us without any such condition or relation. They unconditionally love and care for us without expectations and assurances. We get to share the most amazing kind of love and relation with friends.

1.Lastly, unlimited laughter, adventure and fun!

Friends are the open and free access to ultimate laughs and fun times. There is no need of topics to laugh on. They can make us roll on the floor laughing even without any funny reason. It’s true to say when a group of friends are together, the comic level is higher than any comedy show!

Moreover, friends encourage us to try things we can never imagine doing. All of them may not be positive, but they sure are adventurous. The memories of those moments are the factors that make life exciting and joyous. Without friends, life would be unimaginably boring.

Hence we should never miss the chances to appreciate our friends for their time, care, love and simply friendship. So let’s go tell them how much we love them!

-https://listaka.com/top-15-reasons-why-friends-are-important-part-of-your-life/

For me friends are important , it is because they are like our 2nd or 3rd family .

My Personal Advice to others :

Mag-paka TOTOO ka lang !

#Mrsimplelang

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Go into your Preferences

I have tried to eliminate all particulars.  Tried to squelch any distinguishing opinion. To go with the flow.  To ‘not be particular.’ Not be fussy. Not be a ‘pain in the ass.’ High maintenance, primadonna, better than others etc... This excludes most music and fashion but not completely- as i am always open and allow for things that don’t appeal to me to be considered.  But back to particulars-- it's all been internal; no one would really know, i suppose its all been me being very very very very very hard on myself internally. the inner monologue is a tirade of self hate and judgement. and judging for judging and being afraid– deathly, mortally, consumingly afraid of judgement from others (or perceived judgement, because somewhere i know that no one is thinking bout me in the way that i think about me.)  The difference between criticism and judgement is not one I understand.  I’m afraid I have poor judgment.  and that is a new thought.  i think i have very good judgement abo tua lot of things but am very blinded by other very real thoughts that need much stronger judgement..   Afraid to say no

easily manipulated into doing things for people

want to do things for others

its a compulsion. I cant stop taking on their grief. their shit. their problems. thinking i can help. thinking i can offer them my amazingness.  while not giving it to myself.

when people ask me if i like where i live; its a yes or no question that is met with an explanation rather than a one word answer.  But here it is.  in truth.  being brave and admitting to my own softness.  my preference.  my own needs.  My own actual real feeling.  the answer is NO.  I don't like the area.  I don't like queens blvd.  I don't like the neighborhood.  I don't like the above ground train.  I don't like walking under the above ground train.  I don't like the filth. . I don't like the garbage.  I don't like the industrialness.  I don't like the  wrought iron bars over everything.  I don't like the sneers.  its not a nice place.   its a place to survive.  I don't like the satellite dishes.  I don't like the telephone wires in their incomprehensible multitudes weighing down and drooping.  I don’t like the lack of trees.  I don't like all the houses of worship.  I don't like the shit on the sidewalk. I don't like the dirty deli with bullet proof glass and urinal cake stench.  I don’t like the bleakness.  the stone-facedness.  the harshness.  the decay. the poverty.  the mixed-use space.  thedirty-dingy-grimy-broken-florecent-stinky-ugly-ness of it.   Never have.

I dont; liek alot of things but I put up with it for the larger good.  That larger good is the family.  most things i've sacrificed are for that and I think that is a martyr trait that should be examined but its a bit painful and confusing and scary to admit. 

back to particulars.  

I’ve tried to erase myself. tp blend in.  to not cause a wave.  to be quiet. and small and not take up room.  to hide. just trying to disappear.  very sad.  also pathetic.  but just sad and true.  I've tried to eliminate any real feeling of preference and self.  in the name of enlightenment or some spiritual thing but i don't even know what that is.  Im not happy. thats for sure.  but its not supposed to make you happy - it's just supposed to be the Way.  or The Path.  The Path is so tempting to us weak-minded individuals whose minds have been hijacked long ago.  conscious or unconscious.  thats an interesting idea that I have no control and its not that im revealing whats inside me-- its actually not inside me-- its Other.  Its Divine or in the Ether (whatever that means!)  what i make, what comes out if nothing I could have imagined in my head.  This is directly in opposition to the way ive lived my life.  Gathering, squirreling, but not exerting, not producing, not expressing in any way.  Just hiding, under the covers, from the couch, inside, in a drunken rage.

Why hasn't anyone told me how many problems i have.  how i was wrong. how could they. my husband is trying but i don't want him to .. 

We are trying to destroy each other.  he's trying to destroy me.  to communicate with me in ways i don not understand. in ways that upset me. in ways that make me withdraw from him. in ways that make me distrust him.  in ways he does not understand the ramifications of.  or he does but he's living his life the only way he knows how.  By driving me mentally insane. and filling my head and psyche with more problems than they have room or desire for.  

this is now a preference.  I do not prefer to communicate in that way . I prefer to communicate in a way that accommodates my style.  Meaning, I would like to be accommodated.