#mostly i want to be kind

[petaltexturedskies]

Mary Oliver, from "Dogfish" in New and Selected Poems

#typography #mary oliver #mostly i want to be kind #on kindness #kindness #♡ #fav ໒꒱

[lizziesmuseum]

when mary oliver said, "but mostly i want to be kind" and when she said, "there is only one question; how to love this world" and when she said, "it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world" and when she said, "i think this is the prettiest world so long as you dont mind a little dying" and when she said, "maybe the desire to make something beautiful is the piece of god that is inside each of us" and when she said, "also there are a hundred paths through this world that are easier than loving. but who wants easier?" and when she said-

#mary oliver #mostly i want to be kind #poems

[firewoodfigs]

tw: adultery

my father cheated. not once, not twice, but on multiple occasions. once he even brought a woman back home, reeking of booze and her perfume. needless to say, it started a war. another time he was passed out piss drunk in the lift, presumably after visiting another woman, and my brother’s teacher from kindergarten (who happened to live in the same block as us back then) had to inform us as such. needless to say, hell broke loose again. my mother burnt his clothes and possessions while we watched, mindlessly cutting cloth into scraps. all times i was thoroughly bemused and probably uncomprehending; i was no more than seven when all this happened. but i knew infidelity, long before i knew love.

two decades later, i try to be fairly apathetic about things most times. if i let everything ruffle my feathers i’d have none left to fly with, and what i need is to escape this bird cage. two decades, i’ve lived with my mother, observing how my father’s mistakes ruined her from within. two decades, i’ve lived without a father, who lurks around more like a stranger and usually only contacts me when he’s in trouble, legal or otherwise, or when he needs money. the past quarter of a decade, i started dating my current partner, who has been nothing but devoted and has never once given me any cause to suspect infidelity.

and yet all mistakes bleed into present and future, from a wound that never properly scabbed. you cast aspersions on his character like stone, even when he’s literally done nothing wrong, because it’s all you’ve ever known. going for a boy’s night out on a Saturday? why isn’t he spending it with you instead? are you sure there’s no other woman? comes back mildly buzzed? are you sure he was just enjoying a night out with the boys? are you sure there’s no other woman? going on a firm trip? are his colleagues going to be there? are you sure there’s no other woman? and it’s odd, the way frustration rips apart the thinner fabric of sympathy. my patience is wearing thin. i am so tired of constantly having to justify and defend someone who’s only ever been unwaveringly loyal. someone innocent. someone who you pinned the crimes of another on, even as you insist i must forgive said another by virtue of us being blood.

but yet again, like any other anti-aging gimmick, you reiterate the need for beauty; the only currency of our gender worth something. if you’re not pretty, he’ll leave you for someone else. he’ll leave you be. and i want to say, look at me! look at my accolades and achievements and everything i’ve done up till now. look at how resilient i’ve been, staring into adversity dead in the eye. look at the friends i’ve made and the places i’ve seen and the things i’ve tasted. the smiles of strangers from miles away, that i’ve gathered in my arms like postcards and stamps. isn’t it enough that i try, mostly, to be kind? isn’t it enough that, after all that’s been said and done, i still have all this love left to give?

#personal #writing #mostly i want to be kind

[flocon-tourne-en-rond]

(Recently I've been reminded that I actually enjoy teaching sewing basics to adults who are complete beginners.

Because they do things that I'd never think to do, which may or may not improve on what i'm showing them. Because they're asking questions about things that are obvious to me now. Because I can't really remember learning to sew, I was so small when I did, but I know they will.

And because I love how proud they are when they get it, when their stitches have visibly improved in just two or three seams, when they don't need to ask for help for a while. And because I know this high of I've made it/mended it myself and i love that they get to experience it and that i get to witness it.)

#and also hecause they'll think of me every time they sew something #and because i love when they finish something and ask what would be fun to do next #and because they've been each and every one of them teaching me something #i used to be so condescending because i saw it as a basic skill everyone should have #and didn't even stop to think that not everyone had someone to teach them and not everyone had the time to learn either #and i've realised lately that i don't want to be that person who makes fun of others for not knowing #i'd rather be the one who offers to teach what i know #mostly i want to be kind #and i want to become to others how i'd like others to be towards me #and it shouldn't be such a revolutionary realisation #but i'm growing and i guess it's part of the process #parenthèse

[deepseaidyll]

and anyway it’s the same old story — a few people just trying, one way or another, to survive. mostly, i want to be kind.

- mary oliver

#mary oliver #mostly i want to be kind #poetry #devotions

[devotioncomplex]

vas, any pronouns. rebranded. tag directory below the cut.

straightforward tags (for me)

my posts · my art · about · gpoy

reminder · keep · ref · inspo · art envy · library shelf · favorites

general tags

sf: art · poetry · poetry by tumblr poets · words · fanfic · architecture · photography · fashion · lookbook · edits · graphic · collage · typography · sculptures · misc · objects

#add to basket

#my irls

#themes of interest

#things that will never stop happening

aes tags

sf: scene · ghosts · spirals · hole theory · hauntings · tech · heart as objects ·

#getting into knives

#a hole runs through me

#at the altar of god

#where are the angels?

#fiat lux

#living red

#body of proof

#if i could only get this clean once

#you bleed the night without a sound

#walking backward into my own myth

#only the shadow of a cross

#mostly i want to be kind

#doctors won't have a name for everything that haunts you

#home is where the knives are

#the haunting is architectural

#all you are is meat

#dissolutio

#trade this heavy cage of bones for flight

#into the wound

#dangling on the leash of your longing

on love

#men loving

#i want your hands to become language and make me

#the crimson imprint of his love bite on your neck

#you know i am your dagger

media tags

sf: films · horror · sci-fi fantasy

hannibal · the magnus archives · succession · the social network · daredevil · twin peaks · persona 5

#vas.txt #blogisms #📌 #🎲 #themes of interest #dangling on the leash of your own longing #into the wound #where are the angels? #hole theory #a hole runs through me #getting into knives #intricate rituals #you drank the blood and bit the meat #mostly i want to be kind #at the altar of god #living red #cain & abel #am i my brother's keeper? #body of proof #all you are is meat #if i could only get this clean once #our hearts literring the top soil #made for the dirt #wrapped

[lavendercaffeine]

i wake up every day and think of the same poem by mary oliver then go to sleep & then repeat

#june thinks #mary oliver #mostly i want to be kind #yes yes that one #yes yes yes yes

[yvotoro]

makima 🫀

#chainsaw man #makima #csm #fanart #yvo draws #been wanting to draw her for a minute!! in a mostly creepy confrontational kind of way....staring into ur soul #i hope i succeeded hehe :+)

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[egophiliac]

CROWLEY SSR THOUGHTS

there is zero basis for this, but I can't get this thought of my head

I don't know why I decided to draw it this way

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(these will be relevant in a moment) #this isn't going to happen. but WHAT IF. #anyway i didn't get him (damnit birdman come home) so i had to look up his story #and let me tell you friends my findings were SHOCKING #crowley canonically likes vegetables which means that the crowley is revaan theory = BUSTED #crowley is sailor venus = CONFIRMED #(i know 'whip of love' is a saying but that's where my mind always goes) #DISCLAIMER: this is (mostly) a joke please continue to hold whatever theories and headcanons you want #but look. c'mon. look over here at this whiteboard i've covered in red yarn. #revaan being a picky eater has come up multiple times and there is an entire whole bit about how much he hated jerky and refused to eat it #and now they've made a point of talking about how crowley will eat almost anything and loOoOoves wild game meat especially #it's SO stupid but i can't help but read way too much into it #(this is tumblr if you don't want to see incredibly stupid overanalysis of anime guys then why are you HERE) #and i gotta hold on to something because otherwise whenever malleus and crowley are onscreen together i just keep going 'same hair color... #unless this is like. some kind of deep cover thing. #lilia doesn't recognize him because he saw him eat a green bean once and revaan would NEVER #crowley's secret is safe for another day #(serious hat on: i do think they're probably connected in some way) #(but there's something deeper going on that we're just not clued into yet that will hopefully explain things) #man forget revaan what if crowley whips off his mask and it turns out he was meleanor this whole time #wait hold on meleanor loves jerky. IT ALL FITS...

[hellenhighwater]

The hellsite is eating my posts again. We'll see what gets through.

Edit: this one made it! You've asked for a house tour, I hope this isn't boring. There's some rooms that I don't include because I'm working on stuff and don't want to show the mess. This is still not that tidy but it's... tolerable mess. The audio is just Clair de Lune, no narration. I can answer questions if you have them; I'm always happy to talk about my million hobbies and the house is...definitely one of them.

I could also do a photo post for anyone who doesn't want to watch the whole thing.

#i dont want this to come across as braggy #i know exactly how lucky i am to have a house to do this kind of nonsense with #but also most of this is just diy after diy and a loooot of facebook marketplace trawling #every few months I get a couple family members in to move an item of furniture I cant get by myself but mostly im just doing things solo. #it's wild how much you can just DO #even if its not done perfectly #i like my house a lot #its not fancy--it is in fact a very simple 1900 american foursquare #and it needs a lot more work still #but im chipping away at it and it pleases me.

[petaltexturedskies]

You don't want to hear the story of my life, and anyway I don't want to tell it, I want to listen to the enormous waterfalls of the sun. And anyway it's the same old story — a few people just trying, one way or another, to survive. Mostly, I want to be kind.

Mary Oliver, from “Dogfish” in New and Selected Poems

#mary oliver #mostly I want to be kind

[shikisei]

great expectations

#ace attorney #i did NOT want to even attempt to put effort into the background on this one sorry #i was mostly just kinda thinking abt maya's comments about franzi being much more composed/mature than her despite them being the same age #something something franzi being raised to carry on a legacy vs maya being kind of thrust into it due to sudden circumstances #and even then w/ maya its like. feeling unprepared to take over PLUS the way morgan wanted to sabotage it before it even happened #i think theyve both got The Pressure (tm) and its interesting to see how they handle with it differently. lots of potential unpacking there

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[shimmershy]

Buttercups and Golden Flowers

#i drew this mostly because i noticed that a lot of people mistake buttercups and golden flowers as being the same thing. #so i wanted to try drawing them like. distinctly different in the same image. #it's not a big thing but i do think the fact that they're different has some significance. or at least like. symbolic meaning. #my art #undertale #chara #chara dreemurr #safeutdr #something about the fact that they both look similar at least in color but one of them is poisonous. #the way golden flowers are clearly a positive symbol throughout the game and clearly heavily associated with Chara. #contrasted with the very negative connotations buttercups have. with asgore getting sick and chara using them in their plan. #you never see buttercups in the game. which makes it even easier to mistake the two. because we've only seen one kind of #golden/yellow flower. who's to say 'golden flowers' aren't just referring to buttercups? well. #why would there be golden flower tea if they were poisonous? why would chara want to see the golden flowers from their village if they're #the same kind of flower? they clearly have buttercups in the underground. #it feels almost intentional the way golden flowers are so easily mistaken for buttercups. or at least that the difference is so subtle. #it goes well with the way they're associated so strongly with chara who's also a very subtle yet important part of the narrative. #from a surface-level perspective the flowers that took their life and the one's they actually like/are important to them are the same thing #but when you pay closer attention to the narrative you can see the different symbolic meanings. #well. uhh I've thought about it too much don't mind me. #see i think about it from the perspective of chara being super adamant about them being two different flowers #and frustrated when anybody gets it wrong. because clearly. CLEARLY they're not the same. #'STOP confusing buttercups and golden flowers. i literally used buttercups to kill myself do you think i would still like them after that?' #'do you think i want to be associated with them? they're not the same!!' #<number one golden flower enjoyer number one buttercup hater. #i need a badge that says 'i have strong opinions about chara dreemurr because i kin them. i apologize for the wall of text' at this rate.

[blue-mood-blue]

Rio’s request for Miles, before everything went way, way off the rails, was to take care of her little boy when no one else would - treat him kindly and remind him that he belongs

How literally do you think Miles is going to take that

Miles (1610): I just want you to know, if nobody else told you today… I love you

Miles (42): No

Miles (1610): I appreciate you and how talented you are at punching things

Miles (42): No shut up

Miles (1610): And even though you’re not a spidey and were prevented from your fate of becoming a spidey due to circumstances outside of your control in a cosmic mistake that only made your life worse, I want you to know… you belong

Miles (42): Shut up shut up shut up I hate you

#spider man: across the spider verse #spiderverse #spiderverse spoilers #atsv #atsv spoilers #atsv miles #he’s sincere but also mostly he’s discovered that 42 is allergic to that level of open kindness #and keeps throwing water on the hissing kitten #this is PURE speculation but it makes me laugh so #until I am proven otherwise #I will play in this space #also I want 1610 miles and prowler miles to team up so much you don’t even know #but with this vibe #irritating siblings