#mother's day tw

[clochanam]

it's mother's day in ireland so u should all wish aisling a happy mother's day (bc she invented the day, yk?) (for legal reasons this is a joke--)

#( OUT OF SOULS. ) #( SHE'S GETTING BREAKFAST IN BED AND WEARING A PRETTY DRESS FOR THE OCCASION ) #mother's day tw #mother's day cw

[clochanamarc]

sb: has no parents, bad parents, absent parents, etc.

aisling:

#( OUT OF SOULS. ) #( she learns to write her name JUST SO SHE CAN SIGN THE PAPERWORK ) #( SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING ) #( SHE'S ALREADY RENOVATING THE NEXT APARTMENT SO SHE CAN EXPAND AND MAKE MORE ROOMS ) #mother's day tw #mother's day cw

[wyrdify]

Mother's Day is this weekend. I need to get some feelings out about it and maybe some acknowledgement that these feelings are valid, I don't know.

TLDR: tag Mother's Day stuff for me please and know it's not a day I like.

My mother and I have a strained relationship. She has me blocked on Twitter because a few years ago, I stupidly tweeted about how I disliked Mother's Day because of her. I called out her abuse in a public forum (I'll get to what that was in a second). My father called me up on Mother's Day to cuss me out, tell me it wasn't abuse, and refused to listen to me. He even pulled the "well it wasn't sexual abuse, so it wasn't abuse" card on me, and he yelled at my husband for taking over the phone call because I couldn't handle being yelled at.

The start of it: when I was 16, I started having myoclonic seizures. Both of my arms would jolt (seize), and they'd do it many times for anywhere up to an hour or two. This happened in the morning (at the start) when I first woke up. I didn't know what was happening. Outside of taking me to a pediatrician for my yearly school-required check-up, my parents refused to take me to a doctor. The pediatrician said the problem wasn't neurological after asking me to explain said seizures---you know, things that I didn't remember happening. My mother was there and witnessed the seizures, but she didn't want anything to be wrong, so nothing was wrong.

Or, if something was wrong, it was easily fixable. Someone who was in the same cult as my parents' cult did bio-feedback shit, so my mother signed me up to do it. They said I might have a slight allergy to dairy, so my mother took that as gospel and what could be causing my seizures. No research whatsoever. So, diet changed, and I no longer consumed dairy. Seizures didn't stop. They continued to worsen without treatment.

The specific memory that makes me mad to this day: the summer between junior and senior year of high school, when I was still 16, I had a seizure and fell down the stairs in my house. I struggled to breathe at the bottom of the stairs, and I was still seizing a bunch. My mother, instead of taking me to a hospital or anything like that, sat me down in the living room and chose to give me reiki. And she got my sister, who was seven at the time, to do the same. I just remember basically dissociating while on that couch and seizing while my mom and sister laid hands on me.

For the days afterward, I wasn't allowed to use the computer (because that apparently caused the seizures). My father and his coworkers made fun of me for being sore. I had a bruise on my right leg for close to a year. My seizures stopped being the annoying things that made it hard for me to eat breakfast, a part of my daily routine that my autistic ass needs. I started doing research. I started getting more and more scared.

Fast forward to when I was a sophomore in college. It's been three years since the seizures started, nearly four. They've worsened. My legs would collapse underneath me when I had them while standing. They started happening not just in the morning, but during the middle of the day as well. My memory was shit. I was struggling in my classes. No more of the lactose free diet since it hadn't been working. My mother decided to just say that the seizures were my fault and I was causing them with laziness, screen use, and lack of sleep. She also convinced people in the cult to think the same way. So, whenever cult members saw me, they wrote me off.

Enter my (now) husband moving in from California.

My mother and father made me jump through hoops to be able to see a doctor, so we made a deal with them. I had to do three things: see my father's chiropractor to make sure the seizures weren't related to that, see my massage therapist to get the toxins out, and go to the gym 2-3 times a week for two weeks. I did all of that. Dad's chiropractor told me it was neurological, and my dad went and spoke with him after the fact to make sure I was telling the truth. My massage therapist also said it was neurological. Going to the gym made the seizures worse.

My husband drove me to all of these things and to the doctor and neurologist I eventually got to see. The only thing he wasn't present for was the MRI the neurologist ordered (he had to work). The second my neurologist got my EEG results, he called me and said, "We need to get you on something to stop the irregular electrical activity. Now." I got in to see him so fast, and my mother tried to argue with him about the fact that I had epilepsy. She tried to convince him that the seizures were my fault when it was proven that my seizures weren't photosensitive. He almost laughed her out of the exam room.

And she kept doing that after I started medication for the seizures. So did her cult friends and cult leader. Someday, I'll explain the cult, but it's a nuisance. They also tried to get me to drink alcohol when my medication told me not to, and they wouldn't stop pressuring me. That was fun.

So yeah, I finally got treatment nearly four years after the seizures started, and, guess what? I got them under control. I was no longer falling in the shower (which my mother would also blame me for). I could eat breakfast. I could have a job and not worry if I was going to be a liability. I could finally learn to drive again and get my driver's license at almost 22 years old. I was no longer scared I was going to die every day of my life. I felt like I was actually living.

It took me years to unpack that this shit was wrong. Months into therapy with my first therapist, I basically had to learn that my parents were abusive. I had to learn that the above was medical neglect and abuse. It wasn't normal. I would be lying if I said I wasn't still angry about it, mostly because my parents refuse to take ownership of what they did. I tried telling them on numerous occasions before my Twitter blunder, but they weren't listening. They told me, "That's your truth," and, if they apologized, it was the bullshit, "I'm sorry that's how you feel." It's what happens when you have narcissistic parents.

I haven't gotten to the point of forgiveness, partly because my brain is still caught up in the toxic thinking around that word that my fundie Christian high school taught me. It basically boils down to, "Well, if you forgive them, that means saying that what they did was okay, and you are okay with them being back in your life." Logically, I know that's not how forgiveness has to work, but my brain and heart are still tangled up. So, I'm still bitter. I'm still upset about the years lost to fear of dying, of having seizures, of being blamed for something I literally couldn't control, et cetera. I don't know how to let those feelings go yet. The dream is that my parents own up to their actions, but I have little to no faith in them left.

I love my parents, but I want them in my life as little as possible. And it hurts. It hurts every single Mother's Day to see people post happy things with their happy families with the knowledge that I won't ever have that. So, I try to avoid social media on the actual holiday so I don't see shit and have to feel shit.

This is also ignoring the fact that I am still dealing with the fact that I will never be a parent. That's a separate issue and not the focus of this post. But yeah. That's also a reason I don't like Mother's Day, I suppose. Right now anyway. I'll probably have an easier time getting over that, I think.

Anyway, all of this to say that I will be avoiding tumblr and shit this Sunday. If you're going to do Mother's Day stuff, please tag it with something so I can blacklist it. Thank you for reading all of this if you did. I just needed to get all of this out of my head. I didn't want to clog my discord servers with this or feel like I'm hogging attention.

#thewriter; post #tbd #mother's day tw #abuse tw #medical neglect tw #negative tw

[parentsblake]

Happy Mother's Day to a woman who gave her kids the absolute best life she could only to be taken from them way too quickly. She's back as a ghost though so there's still PLENTY of Motherly Judging to go around.

#( wendy b: muse status. ) #mother's day tw

[erabundus]

it's just another day; nothing worth making a BIG DEAL out of ... now if you'll excuse him, he has more important things to worry about.

#𝟎𝟎𝟓 : 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴. ◟ status .◝ #mother's day tw #( ''more important things'' like sulking alone somewhere ) #( mr president of mother issues inc )

[rosecoloredmuses]

((Happy Mother's Day! I got a dumb idea to do this meme after seeing some G-Witch fanart on my Twitter TL, not to mention it's just perfect for the occasion!))

#rose colored shitposts #mother's day tw

[mbrainspaz]

my gran called me yesterday to ask me to reach out to my mom for mothers day 'as a favor to her'. I just told her no. No, I tried that with my dad for a few years. It always made me feel worse. It never made a difference. Gran was like, 'do it because she used to be a good mother.'

"no. Because she's not being my mother now. She can decide to start again any time she wants, but right now she's not."

#save me from my family #things gran says #disowned #personal problems #sad post #mother's day tw

[dragonskxn]

"Oh... It's almost Mother's Day...."

#ic. #open. #mother's day tw

[royaletiquette]

Something something mothers day, something something mommy koko

#i really appreciate being able to develop her children #and in return her. and parenting style #mother's day tw

[soulnottainted]

Happy mother's day to my mother f/os!!

#mother's day tw

[naturallyglamorous]

open

"i'm hosting an anti mother's day soiree tonight at the Pembrooke, can I trust that you'll be there?" she's above pleading, hopefully, a look of sincerity is enough to convey her need for company.

#she's the president of the bad mothers' society #mother's day tw

[clochanamarc]

cannot believe today is the canonical day that aisling receives the mug in her dash icon--

#mother's day tw #mother's day cw #( OUT OF SOULS. ) #( ' a certain... wisdom. ' / hc. ) #( BC THE KIDS GIVE IT TO HER ON MOTHER'S DAY 2023 ) #( AFTER THE BLIP IS OVER ) #( AS SHE'S QUESTIONING HER VALUE AS A HUMAN BEIN #( AND THEY REMIND HER SHE'S THEIR MOM AND JUST ) #( MMM YEAH )

[ripjulie-gone]

Julie ignores Mother's Day because her mother was a gigantic twatwaffle and she hates her 🙃

#julie doesn't do mother's day or father's day #at all lol #parents who? idk them #ABOUT ✧ ⎨ 𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑜𝑟 𝑒𝑑𝑔𝑒𝑑 & 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 ⎬ #mothers day tw #mother's day tw

[gingermuses]

^ Both of these Mama's Boys are putting all their heart into presents for their mothers today.

^ She's just excited for the presents.

#✰ [ DASH COMM. ] #✰ [ RP: NESS ] #✰ [ RP: NESS’ MOM ] #✰ [ RP: CHARLIE BROWN ] #mother's day tw #[had to mention the literal mother of all my muses] #[and my kiddos who are super close with their moms]

[mbrainspaz]

a song for everyone who just needs to cry today

#philip labes #sad post #sobbing #mother's day tw #Youtube

[viisiond]

“....did I have a mama...?”

#* {Nahida/Lesser Lord Kusanali} #* {IC} #hi there- #Mother's day TW