#motherfucker. this episode hurt so bad

[neo-nomatrix]

Heart to Heart

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You’ve been traveling with Henry and Sam for over a year now. Once you meet Joel and Ellie your entire world changes.

Warnings: Age gap (joel is 56 reader is 26) Spoilers for TLOU episode 5!! Angst bro.

a/n: this episode tore me apart. Italics is ASL. Bold and italics is not.

word count: 998

4 months. It had been 4 months since you laughed. Not the kind of laugh just to convince Sam that everything was gonna be okay. But an actual laugh. The kind you gasp for air, your eyes shut and your stomach and face hurt after. At some point you wish to feel that again. The unexplainable happiness that stays with you forever.

You met Joel and Ellie only a day ago. Ellie was sweet, she was innocent. Ellie was the perfect friend for Sam, she made him laugh in a way you couldn’t. It made you happy, so so happy. Joel was different. He has a deep rugged voice with a Texan accent, you remember after hearing it looking over at Henry and saying “He’s strong. He can protect us. Plus, he’s pretty hot,” earning a laugh from Henry.

_

You’ve finally gotten away from Kathleen; well less gotten away and more she got infected. You’ve been in an abandoned Motel for only an hour when Joel sat next to you.

“So…he’s your what? Your boyfriend?” Joel asked, his voice not sounding confident at all.

“Who? Henry? No. Wait, Sam or Henry?” You ask quickly with a slight smile.

You see Joel roll his eyes and look the other way. You also hear a laugh, his laugh.

“I got you motherfucker! I made you laugh!” You hit his arm lightly laughing with him.

“Whatever,” he tells you.

“I don’t mean to get all sappy but it’s been a while since I laughed. Like actually laughed,” You admit to Joel.

“Yeah, Yeah me too.”

“There’s a uhm, amusement park not too far from here. It’s kind of a reminder to me that it’s not all that bad here,” you mention to him, smiling to yourself.

“You’re old enough to remember amusement parks?” He asks skeptically.

“Kind of, I was 6 when the outbreak happened. Mainly remember stuff like that from movies or whatever.” You look down at your feet while saying this.

Joel stays silent but his eyes keep on you.

“Hey Joel. Look I don't care if you like us or not but please promise me you’ll keep us safe? I can’t lose anyone else.”

He leans closer to you, taking your head in his hand and placing it on his shoulder.

“You don’t have to worry anymore, okay? I’m gonna protect you.”

You both pause for a minute before Joel speaks up again.

“Me and Ellie, we’re going down to Wyoming to find my brother. If you wanted to go with us, you’re uhm, more than welcome to,” he says hesitantly.

“I would like that. I’d really like that. I’ll ask them about it tomorrow,” you respond smiling wildly

_

“Y’know, Sam really likes you. It’s been a while since I've seen him this happy,” You tell Ellie while you get them situated for bed.

“Yeah, and Joel likes you,” She says back.

“Oh, I don’t know about that.”

“It’s true! You really don’t see the way he looks at you?” She says back, causing you to smile.

_

You spent the whole night snuggled up next to Joel, feeling his warm breath on your neck. He kept a steady grip on your waist almost as if he was scared you’d run while he was asleep.

You woke up to a scream. Ellie’s scream. Sun is peeking out of the window. The door beside you slams open with Sam lunging at Ellie. Ellie is trying to kick Sam off of her but it’s useless. Joel reaches for the gun but Henry is quicker. Henry points it at Joel as Ellie screams.

“Joel! Help!”

As Joel tries to reach out to Ellie Henry shoots the gun next to his foot.

You’re still in shock trying to not shake. You slowly back up onto the wall as Henry holds the gun to Joel. In an Instant Henry Moves the gun to Ellie and Sam.

BANG

The gun goes off and a splatter of blood decorates the dirty wall. Sams blood. Everyone is silent until Henry moves the gun back to Joel.

“Henry, give me the gun,” Joel commands slowly.

“What did I do?” Henry speaks up softly.

“What did I do? What did I do?,” he repeats over and over again.

He faces Sams cold, still body. The only thing moving being the pool of blood.

Your fully sat against the wall, your hand cupping your mouth holding back sobs.

You’re silent until Henry points the gun to his temple and it goes off.

BANG

For the second time in this room. For the second time in the last minute. For the second time the same gun goes off. Killing the last people you had.

A loud croaky scream, almost shriek, rips out of your mouth. You fall forward to your knees, tears now streaming down your face as you sob

NO, NO, NO. PLEASE

This can’t be happening. One minute ago both of them were alive. One minute ago you dreamt of traveling with the four of them. All of it. Gone.

_

Joel shovels dirt over the two bodies as you sit next to the “graves.” Tears still run down your face as Ellie places Sams writing board on the ground.

I’M SORRY

The words etched into the plastic lay there.

“C’mon,” Joel says as he reaches a hand out to you. It takes all the strength you have at the moment to get you away from the dirt, from the bodies. Joel's hand stays on your back guiding you to catch up with Ellie. You don’t look back. You’re afraid that if you look back you won’t want to look forward ever again.

It had been four months since laughing made your chest hurt. Four months since laughing made your face hurt. It wasn’t laughing that caused you this unexplainable feeling, it was the very much explainable feeling of guilt and death. And you wish you never have to feel like this ever again.

#joel the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel the last of us x reader #joel miller angst #TLOU #tlou x reader #joel miller x y/n #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you

[howdoyouwhiskit]

*deep breath* so I’ve been meaning to make a big post about House re:mobility aids and chronic pain treatment for a LONG time so here we go this is gonna be a long ride that probably won’t make a lot of sense in regards to a linear narrative so buckle up motherfuckers

Disclaimer: I am disabled, have chronic pain, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user. I have experience using a cane, forearm crutches, a rollator, and a walker. I understand everyone’s experiences are different. I am writing this from my personal experience with mobility aids which may influence some interpretations of things

Let’s start with the obvious one, House uses his cane wrong. They recognize this in canon. It isn’t simply a case of “oh the show writers were lazy and it’s never mentioned.” What I haven’t seen people discuss is that using a cane the way House does (in my experience anyways) fucking hurts. It isn’t comfortable at all. It feels awkward and clunky and at least personally within a few minutes of using a cane in that fashion my *entire body* hurts. Plus, it doesn’t even really help take the pressure off of my leg pain.

Given the all of him there’s two conclusions that I’d like to make about this (and remember this isn’t canon, just simply my interpretation as a disabled person):

It’s very obvious that House has Feelings about mobility aids. Society can often make people think that using mobility aids is a weakness. Admitting something is wrong. House very clearly doesn’t like to do either of those things. I personally have incredibly complicated feelings about mobility aids that I can’t even begin to put into words. I see myself in House in this regard.

I can’t help but think that him using his cane incorrectly is some fucked up form of self punishment. It’s been brought up in canon that House has a tendency to self harm in various ways. I don’t think that people realizing that him using a cane incorrectly could be related. For those who are unfamiliar, using any mobility aid (even a cane) incorrectly can cause damage. I do not claim to be a doctor but I imagine that House would be dealing with back and shoulder issues at minimum from using his cane the way he does.

The next thought I have is something I think about a lot. It’s clear House’s pain fluctuates, as it does for a lot of chronic pain patients. What I don’t see a lot of people talking about is realistically he could fluctuate mobility aids with the fluctuations of his pain. Yes, I understand there are limitations within his career as a doctor, but this is House MD were talking about there isn’t exactly always exact medical realism is there? I just can’t help but wonder, what would House’s life look like, if he let himself use something other than a cane?

I know there’s an episode where House does use a wheelchair for access to an accessible parking space, and I really really wish they expanded upon this more in canon. Personally, I think House needing to be (but not necessarily acting on it) a part time ambulatory wheelchair user makes sense.

I’ve read some fic/headcanons about House needing a wheelchair (Berber it be due to an advancement in disability or as an acceptance of his current disability) yet everyone talks about him using a shitty hospital grade chair. He’s a doctor who probably has great insurance plus a lofty department head paycheck. If House were in a position to have a wheelchair, he could very very easily access a top of the line custom made chair.

I understand the representation of the standard hospital chair often comes from a place of ignorance about custom wheelchairs, I really do. I just think that the concept of using a hospital chair permanently can cloud the judgement of if it’s truly a “bad thing” or not. Hospital wheelchairs are fucking uncomfortable and not easy to use. A custom chair, when built right, is none of these things.

Just, I’d love more House fanwork that embraces the idea of mobility aids. No, I don’t mean make House randomly decide “oh I’m gonna accept help now” and make him OOC. No, I mean let’s actually dive into House’s feelings about mobility aids, create some fanworks where maybe he works through some of his internalized ableism and self hatred and lets himself be accommodated. I hate seeing fic after fic that makes it seem like it’s some tragedy that House needs crutches or a walker or wheelchair. I want it to be normalized. Disability can be progressive and that’s just life. Yes, it’s upsetting. Yes, it can be sad to those involved. No, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

Now I think it’s time to talk in regards to the treatment of his chronic pain, outside of the way he accommodates his mobility. I think that, while this is probably related to the writers wanting to stick to the “addicted to Vicodin” plot line, House’s pain management in the series, sucks, to put it lightly. I’ve been to multiple pain management programs (both at formal PM clinics and informal PM done by other specialists) and any doctor worth their salt would have had him on some sort of nerve pain medication and probably some form of muscle relaxer from the very beginning. While, yes, one could argue that House is on these medications and it’s just not mentioned, I really really don’t think that’s the case. You could also argue that he may have been offered these things, and simply refused them. This could very well be the case. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that these things could be helpful.

When House is off Vicodin, they have him substantiating off of exclusively ibuprofen. I’ve had chronic pain bad enough to need opioids treated with high doses of ibuprofen and in my personal experience, it doesn’t do shit. It just upsets your stomach and risks kidney issues and doesn’t actually help with the pain. The fact that just because he deals with addiction he doesn’t get proper pain management is BONKERS to me.

I understand that they were, within the shows canon, attempting to claim that at least some of the pain was psychological. Just because someone’s pain is psychological doesn’t mean you do not treat it. There are plenty of ways to treat psychological pain. Again, one could argue that House simply refused. Again, I’d say that you might be right.

You notice that I say that House very realistically could’ve refused various treatments that could make his life better. Just like how it is with his cane, I believe this is an effort at self punishment. If these efforts at self punishment are conscious or not is genuinely up to you. I personally view it as unconscious, but again, as I said in the beginning, I’m interpreting this the way I see things.

Anyways, just needed to get my thoughts out there, as a crippled person who’s been obsessed with House since before they realized that their chronic pain wasn’t normal. Since before they realized that the word disabled was something that could be applied to them.

Feel free to reply to this with thoughts or questions and y'all are more than welcome to DM me to pick my brain about this!

#i have many feelings #i have many thoughts #chomping at the bit wanting to scream #these have been in my brain for years thanks for asking #house md #hate crimes md #gregory house

[bookshelfdreams]

Izzy just can't stop fucking martyring himself, can he

bleeding on everyone around him like it's his job

A few toes are a small price to pay to have the great and terrible Blackbeard back, eh, Izzy? The fear of the crew is a small price to pay. The dead in raids are a small price to pay. Ed, dead-eyed, hollow-cheeked, drugged up and barely himself - a small price to pay.

Clearly, what Ed, what Blackbeard really needs is someone he can hurt, someone to bleed for him, and Izzy will do that, won't he, oh-so-nobly bear the pain, look how much I'm hurting for you, the least you could do is be grateful!

Mate, you are fucked in the head.

Nobody wants this. Everyone on this ship is miserable, all the damn time, including Izzy himself and still! Still! He doesn't fucking get it! When the crew literally embraces him, despite everything, still all he can do is antagonize everyone around him!

Even after he loses his leg! Even after they're saved by the Red Flag!

Because pain is predictable, isn't it. Pain, as emotions go, is simple. It hurts like a motherfucker, but at least it keeps him from sitting with his thoughts. Izzy's in a slightly better place, sitting in the cell, waiting to be executed, sure, but still all he has for Stede is "Give me your worst".

Izzy wants someone to lash out at him, because he feels terrible inside, and if someone else hurts him, he doesn't have to think about the reason why he feels so bad.

But Stede won't give him that. Finally, the unstoppable force of Izzy's need to push until someone snaps meets the immovable object of Stede being Done With Izzy's Shit. Of Stede having neither the energy nor the mental capacity to be angry at Izzy. The Look he gives Izzy is just a stronger version of what he's been doing the whole episode - refusing to rise to the bait.

Because despite how much Izzy wants someone to hurt him, this isn't about him. If he wants to grow and heal, he has to learn that his pain isn't the only thing that exists in the world.

Whether he will do that remains to be seen.

#i cant wait to see what they do with him this season :) i want to pin him up like a butterfly #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #thoughts

[greywritesthings]

Weeks

Spencer Reid x F!Reader

Warnings - (fic based from Tobias Hankel episode) Drug use, torture, mentions of seizures / convulsions, drug use, panic attack, rage, crying, death by GSW, withdrawal

A/N - This is a vague enemies to lovers ig, I really do like it even if it doesn't deal with the nicest of topics, comments, reblogs and likes appreciated <33

Spencer Reid masterlist

Masterlist

“Can you just leave me to do my thing for ten minutes Reid!” You near enough yell at him but he still doesn't move, he hasn't said anything for the last half an hour, he's just been sitting a foot away from you watching what you were doing and it was driving you insane. “I haven't done anything y/n. I’m just thinking about what you're doing is all.” he shrugs at you. You just huff and spin around from the board deciding to step out for coffee. You stop in your tracks as Hotch enters the room and gives you a look before turning to Reid and doing the same. “You two need to get some air, go and interview Tobias Hankel, Garcia's sending you the address. Reid is driving there, Y/n you will drive back unless you come to an agreement without an argument, do I make myself clear?”  His tone leaves zero room for argument so you just walk off to the SUV with Spencer in tow. 

After a tension-filled drive to the address Garcia had sent you and Spencer to, you get to clamber out of the SUV and find yourself at the wooden cabin where Tobias Hankel apparently lived. Reid decides to split off to the barn he had seen while you went up to the main door and knocked where it took you less than two minutes to decide he was suspicious enough to bring in. When you tried to arrest him however he ran out the back before you got the chance. You take a chance and head out into the corn fields where you found Reid unconscious on the floor, head bloody but you noted he was still breathing as you spun on your heel. “You son of a bitch! What the fuck are you doing!” you yell. You reach down for your second weapon at your ankle, cursing yourself for leaving your first one in the SUV by accident but Tobias lunges at you from behind catching you off balance. It's a struggle when you hit the floor but he gets the upper hand with a piece of wood and darkness quickly overtakes your vision. 

“Y/n, wake up, cmon” you hear someone whispering to you, not entirely sure who yet, the only thing you were sure of was that your head hurt like a motherfucker. You groan as you open your eyes. “y/n. I know you're probably concussed given the gash on your head but you have to focus sweets, with me, eyes open.” It's Spencer, he's calling you sweets? Well you must either be dead or pretty damn close. “He's taken us to a second location and shaken the police tail, he asked for directions and went the opposite way, we have to figure a way out of here sweetheart and I need your brains with me to do that okay?” you finally make eye contact with him, focused on him, he looks exhausted, you figure he's been through other things while youve been unconscious. Anything you were going to say was cut off by the sound of footsteps approaching and the look of pure fear coursing through Reid's eyes.  

By the time that Tobias’s father was done with you it had broken spencer, his own torture was bad but hearing your own cries felt worse. You tried reciting bible scriptures you remembered to no avail, the beating just continued. He wanted a confession of sin and wouldn't stop till he got it. 

Then he did, Tobias getting to take over and Spencer had to listen and watch as you begged him not to give you the dilaudid and then lose yourself to the high as it took hold. It pained him to watch, if he could have he would have thrown up. Somehow it all got worse, Spencer watched as you were forced to choose a person to kill, he hoped you were too high to remember it but really he could tell you were mentally present and it made his heart twist. 

When the team managed to cut off the videos you were Charles's target, much to Spencer's dismay. He hadn't been through much in comparison to you at this point and he knew your body couldn't take another beating. He watches on with tears streaming down his face as Charles continuously hits you before shoving your chair backwards, forcing the chair to fall to the floor. He's forced to watch, unable to tear his eyes away as you convulse and eventually go limp, flatlining with Tobias trying to revive you. He has a small glimpse of relief when he is finally successful knowing you're still alive but it's replaced with dread at the fact that now you will be put through even more.  

You were praying to every god you didn't believe in that Hotch got the message, you didn't have an eidetic memory but you knew the bible and you hoped that hotch would understand the misquote of genesis. You were so high at this point your brain felt like cotton and Spencer was forced to just watch on. You knew eventually Charles would have enough of you and end you in one way or another and you were right. He dragged you out to dig your own grave, threatening to bury you alive. He left Spencer in the cabin for now, you guessed he would deal with him later so it was up to you to save at least him if not the both of you if the team didn't get to you in time. 

You saw the glint of flashlights before Charles did and managed to trick him even if you were high as ever, pulling his own gun on him managing to get a shot as Spencer, Emily and Hotch round the corner towards you. “Y/N!” Spencer cried out, you realised he thought you were the one shot. The three flashlights land on you looking like a deer in headlights as you knelt over Tobias's body. “Sup guys, kinda chilly out isn't it?” you let out a dry laugh, desperately trying to remove the horrified look from their faces. Spencer was the first to move towards you. “Come here sweet girl, come here, god i'm so sorry” He wraps himself around you. You know hes been taking the brunt of the mental torture the last however long so you let him, He practically holds you up as you lean against him. “You're going to be okay, we are going to be okay, I promise.” he whispers before he lets himself be slightly separated from you. Emily loops an arm around your waist as Spencer does the same so they can guide you to the ambulance waiting nearby. 

–

It had been three weeks since you spent those five days of hell with Tobias Hankle and so far you were struggling, nightmares plagued your sleep and cravings plagued you when you were awake. You had managed to keep the bottles of dilaudid from Tobias's body. You knew sooner or later someone would catch on and you would be out of a job, your friends and with them your family. You would lose everything and everyone you loved if you didn't get a handle on it. Luckily you had another four weeks to kick the habit before you were back in the BAU, for now it was light paperwork at home when you could and the occasional conference call with the team so you weren’t isolated.

You were sitting in the bathroom with a new needle and a vial ready when three loud knocks sounded at your door, breaking you out of your trance. You practically fall over getting to your front door, withdrawals hitting hard from timing out the doses longer and longer. You knew you didn't look good and anyone would put you as an addict in withdrawal, you were biting at your nails, your pupils were blown out of proportion and you just overall looked a mess. 

You manage to unlock your door after looking through the peephole and seeing it was only spencer. “Hey spence, what do you need?” You ask, hoping and praying it was just to borrow a book or a case file so you could get on with your task. He looks you up and down with a look of concern. “I need you to let me in, pack a bag and come stay at my house while you detox.” His eyes still show concern but his tone gives you no room for argument, but you try anyway. “I don't know what you mean Spence, detoxing from what exactly?” You try and meet his gaze but you're so antsy it's impossible. He places a hand on the door and pushes in past you and closes the door behind him, still gentle. “Honey, i know you took the dilaudid from Tobias okay and I know you’re addicted to it, you can't go into a rehab centre without losing your post permanently so your staying with me for the foreseeable, we have an extra four weeks off from Hotch so we have eight weeks to get you to functioning again. This is a non optional, so, tell me where it is before i go through your apartment myself. Please, let me help you.” He keeps a hard but caring tone and it forces you to give in, you know he's right. “Bathroom, Cupboard above the washer and in the copy of sherlock holmes with the orange cover” you look to the floor in pure shame. “Sweets, you don't need to be ashamed, it's not your fault, you didn't choose to be addicted, okay? It was given to you against your will, I don't blame you okay? I just want you back okay” He says as he tips your chin up, forcing you to look him in the eyes. He still doesn't look angry or disappointed, just caring. “You're going to be okay, you just have to let me help you. Go pack a bag while I clear out and we will go to mine okay? I turned the office into a guest bedroom for you.” and with that he turns away, walking into your kitchen. You take a second before your feet start to move on their own, moving towards the bedroom so you can do as he asked and pack a bag of things you would need to live at his for the next however long. 

—

It had been two weeks and you felt slightly better. Your heart wasn't beating at a million miles a minute, your pupils were regular and you weren't sweating all the time and you finally had an appetite but emotionally you were still strung out. The cravings were still hard to deal with and it made you an emotional mess, one second you were fine then seeing red angry and that quickly turned into floods of tears but Spencer didn't once react to you. He just gave you coping mechanisms and comfort. He held you as you cried for hours on end every night till you fell asleep, if he left you he tucked you under a weighted blanket and left lamps on through the apartment so you could find his room should you need him in the night. 

—

The team knew you were staying with Spencer, they didnt know why but they knew you were struggling, they assumed it was from the kidnapping, not the fact you had spent weeks addicted to drugs and so they assumed that you would appreciate them coming over to hang out, something that was a semi regular occurrence prior to the kidnapping. 

Three knocks pull you and Spencer pulls from your activities, he was reading and you were tucked into his side drawing a mandala on a small art pad he had given you. “Were you expecting anyone?” you ask. “No honey and I'm guessing you weren't so I have no clue.” he says, the nickname easily slipping in place of your name now. You uncurl yourself as he stands up from the couch, going over to the door and looking through the peephole. “It's the team, you want to change?” he asks knowing that while you didn't really care how the team saw you you probably would mind them seeing you in just Spencer's sweater vest and a pair of boxers. You nod quickly and slip into your room as he unlocks the door greeting the others. 

By the time you come out they’re all stood in the living room chatting between themselves seemingly waiting for something and you realise they're waiting on you. You feel their eyes on you as you walk in and then they all start moving and talking at the same time. Multiple forms of how are you and we miss you's getting fired your way. Before you can realise you're pulled into one pair of arms and then another as a third ruffles your hair. It's overwhelming and it makes your skin crawl. Your peace and quiet, the sanctuary that you had gotten used to in Spencer's apartment had been interrupted and you couldn't deal with it. You pry yourself out of the arms that had you trapped and bolt towards the nearest door, spencers room, directly down the hall, and slam the door behind you as the tears start to fall down your cheeks, sobs wracking through your chest as your mind races and the cravings come back full force again. 

“Darling, I need you to let me in, they’re gone okay? Open the door for me.” Spencer asks quietly so as not to spook you, he was nervous for your reaction to the team and had tried to emphasise the point of not to overwhelm you but he knew they would get over excited and were used to you being very touchy so your reaction like this was out of the ordinary. You moved out of the way of the door and pulled Spencer's sweater over your shirt and curled up under his covers. Spencer decided to try the door and his heart melted at the sight, you looked peaceful, a stark contrast to the panicked look he saw in your eye earlier, similar to what he saw when you were with Tobias, it had hurt and he had nearly snapped at the team to get them out but Hotch and Rossi had ushered them out before he could, Hotch saying that you and spencer could take more time if you needed, the brass had already approved it alongside working from home for the pair of you.  He crept over to the bed and got in, wrapping his arms around you as you nestled further into his chest, relaxing against him. 

—

It had been twelve weeks since you moved into Spencer's apartment and you were over the worst of the cravings, the mood swings and irritability were almost non-existent but you now dealt with the anxiety of being asked to move out every night. You had gone back to work a week ago now and you and Spencer were on desk duty for another week for formality reasons. It was nice living with another person and it was even better that person being Spencer. Now you were getting better you had started cooking for him, often making dinner while he made you breakfast. You both went about your days naturally, you divided up chores without question and Spencer started buying your favourite snacks regularly when he went grocery shopping, something he refused to let you do when he found out that the fluorescent lights bothered you. You thought your fears were coming true when one night he called for you from the living room to talk.  

“So, look I’ve been thinking about something and-” You cut him off before he finishes his sentence. “You want me to move back into my own place again? I can do that, I mean it's not like i can live here forever is it, this was just while i was in recovery and getting over the worst of the withdrawals, I can pack up over the weekend and be out by monday dont worry.” You rush over the sentence, tears filling your eyes as you stare at the couch. Over the weeks you had been living with Spencer you had realised that you had started liking him. You knew he wouldn't do the same, given the things he had seen in the last three months it was fair enough but being told to leave hurt nonetheless. 

“This is the one fault about you, jumping to conclusions, now will you allow me to finish with words or can I just show you?” His words cause you to look him in the face with confusion. You don't get any more thoughts or words as Spencer's hands reach over to cut either side of your face and his lips are on yours, soft and vaguely unsure until you relax and push back, reaching to tangle your hands in his hair. After a minute you both pull away, “I don't want you to move out, the opposite actually, I want you to move in permanently” He says with a smile. All you do is nod, going in for another kiss with a smile. 

Taglist: @reidstheyfriend , @oosnapitskat, @lover-of-books-and-tea

Join it here!

#greyswritings #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[gartenofbanny]

https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/co/image/1693/68/1693686060187.jpg

The script for the fizz episode and I’m not happy with it.

So these are possibly part of the script and lemme tell you Anon, I'm not happy with these either

So, first thing's first what the fuck is this Wattpad type dialogue?? This shit looks like something you'd read from some Helluva Boss fanfiction, who the fuck speaks like this??

"She hurts me and I'm fucking sick of it! Every day, it's constant agony!"

My brother in Christ, Stolas divorced her! Why the hell is he still interacting with her?! And don't get me started on

[Stolas not being able to take it anymore begins to break down]

MOTHERFUCKER YOU'RE A DEMON PRINCE! YOU'RE MORE POWERFUL THAN ALASTOR JUST PETRIFY THEM

And Asmodeus thinking he's him is all like "Stay Back" like he's some fucking Dragon Ball character or something.

God damn this dialogue is already pissing me off, I don't think I'm gonna like this episode at all because this shit is just BAD. Now there is the possibility that this dialogue is fake, but then again it's fucking Helluva Boss.

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva critical #vivienne medrano #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss fizzarolli

[depressed-teacup-inc]

It’s the way derision is a legitimately awful episode for me

Hello, Hey, how y’all doing, I’m still grieving Luka, And it’s time for another miraculous episode review!

And lord I fucking hate this one!!!

So Marinette and Adrien go on pool date, and Marinette keeps having panic attacks over it, until she’s almost akumatized and has to dig deep in memory lane to not get Akumatized (and this is where the majority of this episode takes place)

So. I hate this with all my heart! This motherfucking show. Really just said “yeah guys, so all of Marinette’s creepy stalker behavior? Yeah guys it’s Chloe and Kim’s fault she’s like this it’s trauma and therefore she’s fine!”

…so let’s unpack this.

With Chloe, this is nothing new, the show keeps demonizing her and taking away from any nuance or chance she has at redemption, and the show needs us to some reason believe that Chloe (and Lila) is worse then the little abusive father terrorist in this show! Because they are probably planning on making her the next Lila in the show as Lila becomes Hawkmoth!

To the fucking point they decided to take her bullying from random mean comments and hun on a sit in season one, To fucking roaches in lockers and panic attacks!

And before you ask, no I don’t believe that every single character needs to be redeemed and complex (some people really do just suck) but the show takes that to an extremist degree! The show needs viewers to believe Chloe is more evil then literal monarch because if she got a redemption or had dimension (as she had in season 2) marinette by comparison looks awful and creepy!

To put a long analysis short, I don’t hate Chloe for being bitchy because I think everyone should be complex, I hate her for being bitchy because the show only does this to make marinette look like a saint in comparison, to the point that they will make child abusers look better then her, just so marinette can stay “the good guy”.

Now for Kim… THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHOW!!!

“Oh yeah kids ever wondered why marinette broke into Adrien’s house, harassed him, sniffed him, stole his schedule and personally belongings and information, hurt anyone that was a rival to her, broke into his house on multiple occasions, and literally got so many people akumatize from her selfish behavior? It’s because she was traumatized by Kim, who’s suddenly cruel, and it’s all Chloe’s fault!”

ThIS SHOW. LITERALLY BLAMED EVERY SINGLE WRING THING MARINETTE EVER DID (WHICH INCLUDES LITERAL LAWS BEING BROKEN AND SOME SHIT THATS ON CHLOES LEVEL OF BAD) ON “Yeah guys she has trauma PTSD, it’s all Chloe’s fault hehe”

And it’s just… so fucking upsetting!

Not only did the show demonize Kim (and everyone is just fucking buying it) out of nowhere to be this asshole (this is not the misguided himbo I know and love and I fucking hate it) the show basically erased every mistake marinette ever made under the guise of trauma, when it’s so fucking unfair and biased!

Like, by the show’s logic, if Marinette is justified for all the literal crimes she committed because of trauma, why not Chloe? You can easily just argue that her mom not being there is justification to committing literal crimes!

But the show won’t do that, because Marinette needs to be the good guy and can’t be wrong.

The show had to literally demonize and change characters entirely (boy in Lila episodes and specifically this episode) just to absolve marinette of any fault, and it’s just bad writing!!! The show doesn’t want to admit that marinette is frankly an awful person and will morph the plot around her to prove it!

Because reality is? Shit isn’t black and white! Even if marinette had this awful experience (which I will not minimize) it doesn’t justify the constant hurting and awful things she did to others, just like Chloe’s extremely bad childhood doesn’t justify her hurting and bullying others!

The show yet again just demonized and morphed the plot and characters to justify marinette, in order to make sure she’s always good and always in the right, so that they don’t have to change anything about the story, so they can drag on this show forever to make lots of money.

And frankly? I’m fucking tired of it.

(Also Adrien is officially nothing more then love interest, he’s out-of-character threatening murder on Kim because “marinette deserves people will kill for herrrr”)

#miraculous ladybug #mlb fandom #marinette dupain cheng #ml rants #kim le chien #chloe bourgeois #JUSTICE TO KIM THIS IS NOT THE HIMBO I KNOW AND LOVE #The show literally said to marinette it’s trauma so you’re fine and then proceeded to demonize Chloe and say she’s evil despite her past #I hate it thanks #also adrien still has no personality

[sylvies-chen]

okay I’ve refrained from posting my thoughts on the ted lasso finale until now in the interest of making sure they’re expressed properly so that people understand how correct my opinions actually are. but I’m here and I’m queer and LET’S DO IT FOLKS:

TED LASSO FINALE THOUGHTS

THE GOOD:

Nate!! Nate was a timid, sweet note in this episode. It was such a gentle little reintegration of his character back into the team and seeing him get a secure happy ending after all that time of insecurity was the part of the episode that provided the MOST payoff. Seeing Nick Mohammed’s post about Nate and his family life and understanding how much he put into that character was so beautiful to see too. I adore actors who very publicly (and in a nerdy way) love their craft!

His conversation with Ted also made me cry like I have never cried before.

COLIN KISSED HIS FELLA AFTER A WIN!! Ugh such a beautiful payoff and full circle moment for him, I was truly squealing with joy <3

The team’s rendition of So Long, Farewell had me GIGGLINGGG oh my god, I’m a die hard Sound of Music fan so I loved it! I would have maybe liked a little more emotion from Ted, I felt like his reaction was kind of… meh? meek? but other than that the song itself was FANTASTIC.

Obviously I love that they won the game, duh

They also had a lot of really amazing and thoughtful callbacks in this episode, like Keeley’s parallel to her entrance in the pilot was great, Ted’s bbq sauce mantra, Nate leaping into Ted’s arms, the ussie guy, the winning play being the play from season 1. All of those little moments showed a strong attention to detail I truly loved.

I love that Rupert made HIMSELF unlikeable in the end. Rebecca didn’t need to ruin his life; she stopped caring and soon saw he was doing a perfectly fine job of doing it himself. Karma truly is Rebecca Welton’s boyfriend!! Or is it?

Jake the motherfucking client seducer over here turning out to be a total dud like yesss!! I don’t want Ted and Michele back together by any means but fuck that guy lol, glad to see she and Henry were getting sick of him

BELIEVE. 😭

Which leads me to…

THE BAD:

I know you all know I ship Tedbecca, but this is truly not coming from a shipper standpoint when I say that that first scene of them was absolute BAIT. It was pretty disappointing because I know Ted Lasso’s been prone to red herrings and fakeouts every now and then but I didn’t take it as a show that would truly bait their fans with something like that??

I don’t care if I’m biased, I don’t care if the writers were trying to be avant-garde with their ending for rebecca, I’ll say what I’m about to say a million times: writing off 1 of your 2 most main characters into a happy ending with a man whose name the audience doesn’t even know is literally never a good writing decision. I think this should be obvious.

I have no hate to Boat Guy, Rebecca’s whole thing with him was basically the plot of Before Sunrise + Before Sunset (all hail Richard Lanklater) if someone watched those movies and then tried condensing them into fifteen accumulated minutes of television

Keeley, Roy, Jamie… they did you three so fucking dirty my babes. Keeley you especially. I’m beyond disappointed, bordering on genuinely hurt, by how much they screwed up Keeley and all of her adjacent storylines this season.

I loved RoyKeeley so much in seasons 1 and 2, they had such a sweetness and a magic to them. There were so many elements like that to season 1 and 2 that I feel the writers gave up on in the name of growth or… honestly, at this point, I don’t know why they did this. Roy was a little insecure in seasons 1 and 2, but I never felt like he was needy. It felt so cruel to have shown us RoyKeeley in all of these moments of such stability, such healthiness, and such genuine love for so long and then rip it away for some version of Roy Kent that felt hollow, twisted, and who just Did Not Get It. It makes me so sad.

It makes me sad for Jamie too. Him falling for Keeley again was like the last thing I needed to see from his character. There’s so much else they could have done with him, and instead they took that beautiful moment of him being accountable and respectful with Keeley and the tape, and they turned it into something ugly: they had him weaponize it as a bargaining chip against Roy.

I don’t understand why they thought having our favs engaged in this very sexist outdated convo with such possessive language in the name of comedy was a good idea. I get it was poking fun at them but it was the kind of fun that shouldn’t have to be poked at by now. They’re not these men, I don’t recognize this version of them. It’s such a regression.

speaking of weird and uncomfortable shit being played off for laughs… beard and jane got married! ted wasn’t even there! she shredded his passport to keep him in captivity! how creepy! (see the joke is that they’re crazy and do toxic things to each other. you’re supposed to laugh.)

#ted lasso #abby meta #roykeeley #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #tedbecca #rebecca welton

[phddyke]

What Blitz doesn’t know:

1. Stolas’s marriage is abusive

* He might not even know it’s bad. All he’s seen is royal portraits of their happy family together as he’s been led through the halls, and the Hellhound security team brought him in after Stella finished her rant. Based on his expression after Ozzie implies their affair ruined Stolas’s marriage/relationship with his daughter, he feels guilt about that. Maybe he feels like a homewrecker.

* I’m not entirely sure he knows Stolas asked for a divorce immediately after their one-night stand. Based on the pilot, he ran away with the book too fast to hear him.

* And, by that token, he doesn’t have a clue Striker was hired by Stella to not only kill Stolas but torture him first (and he never told Stolas Striker was a danger because he didn’t think he was especially unique, and now feels bad about that, I’m sure).

2. That his reaction in Ozzie’s was about being humiliated in front of so many people, not actually because he was ashamed of Blitzø.

3. By that same token, Stolas only responding with “okay” when Blitz says that their relationship is clearly only about “wanting me to fuck you” was NOT actually confirmation that Blitz’s suspicions were correct.

4. Stolas’s text messages were him trying to reassure Blitz he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want—he just became really unclear about what he wants in the process, which makes it look like he doesn’t want him to visit.

5. That he improved Stolas’s life, he didn’t ruin it. Because of Blitz, he got the closest he ever did to telling his daughter the truth about his relationship, asked for a divorce, and even after Ozzie’s he stood up for himself and DEMANDED the divorce! Not to mention Blitz clearly gave him the only happiness he had in a while.

6. The only pictures Stolas has on his phone of them make it look like Blitz is constantly annoyed by his presence.

7. He has absolutely no clue whatsoever about Blitzø’s feelings. None.

8. Striker made fun of him about the fact that Blitz didn’t come to save him.

9. He probably offered for Blitz to be his bodyguard because Stella said “Can you imagine if he didn’t have money!”, so he doesn’t think anyone will have sex with/hang out with him if money isn’t involved.

10. Stolas isn’t actually racist or classist, it’s more like he says things thoughtlessly and is blinded by privilege in many aspects. But he doesn’t have some weird fetish for imps.

11. Stolas loves him!! We all know he’s a horny motherfucker but he does deeply love Blitz so much.

What Stolas doesn’t know:

Oh man, where do I start.

1. Blitzø’s biggest fear is dying alone.

2. He’s afraid to get close to Stolas because of commitment issues and the “eventually everyone goes” mentality, BUT also because of the race/class difference he’s scared to lose his freedom and basically become one of Stolas’s servants.

3. He comes toward Stolas in the hallucination anyway. Away from everyone else and toward him. (Crawls toward him, in fact.)

4. That he stole Verosika’s car, ran three rings to Wrath, maxed her credit cards on shitty horseback-riding lessons, and left her to pay for the hotel room while they were dating. (He does know that Blitz was a selfish lover to her and broke her heart, though.)

5. He’s in awe of Stolas. You can see it when he sees his demon form when Stolas saves him, when he puts on his human disguise, and when he’s being trampled on the ground and sees Stolas’s tail feathers as he’s being carried away above him. He’s put him on such a pedestal that 1) he can’t believe Stolas would ever love him back and 2) he’s forgotten that Stolas is mortal and can be hurt, both emotionally and physically.

6. Blitzø has no idea of Stolas’s feelings toward him—since episode 2 we’ve been aware that he’s operating under the assumption that “no one” loves him, and since Ozzie’s we know Blitzø thinks that Stolas makes it clear “all the time” that their arrangement doesn’t go deeper than fucking. Therefore, when he invited him to the date at Ozzie’s, he wasn’t cruelly playing with his feelings; he had no idea said feelings existed (though, he probably should’ve been honest that he wanted to spy on M&M). Even when Moxxie says, “He seems to like you, sir,” Blitzø responds with “Okay, my dick is GOOD—but it is not that good,” misinterpreting Moxxie’s observation of Stolas’s feelings for him as Stolas’s sexual interest in him.

7. His “oh yeah…I guess it is, huh” when Stolas called Ozzie’s their first “real” date wasn’t him being like “ew I don’t wanna go on a date with this guy,” but more like “Oh right…this is our first real date and I’m using it to spy on M&M, this isn’t really how I wanted our first ‘real’ date to be.”

8. Blitzø’s obsession with M&M stems from his own desire to have a happy, healthy, monogamous marriage like they do, despite constantly mocking them about it.

9. Blitzø has a picture of Stolas asleep and himself looking happy to be cuddled up with him forefront on his phone.

10. Blitzø has scratched himself out of every picture of himself, his friends, his daughter (and twin sister) on his walls.

11. The betrayed look on his face—the “I knew this was going to happen but I was hoping it wouldn’t” when Stolas covered his face at Ozzie’s.

12. How concerned he looked when Stolas said “I seem to have been stolen by your little cowboy friend,” how much MORE concerned he looked when Striker spoke to him directly, that he was so furious he broke his phone AND damaged his car after that before he started driving recklessly and seemed to be seriously contemplating going for Stolas himself. He even grilled M&M on their ability to do so, rushed through the doctor’s appointment, vented about it in the waiting room, and looked so happy when he thought they’d brought Stolas back safe and sound. (Didn’t even correct the doctor who called him “Bingo,” just wanted to get out of there.)

13. The look on his face and the genuine surprise when he said “he can get HURT?” Not to mention the “Stolas got what?” and the crack in his voice when he said “how?”

14. When he said “If you promise this isn’t some fuck-fest invite it does sound like a blast and a half,” he wasn’t annoyed with Stolas, he was annoyed that the only thing he thought Stolas cared about was sex with him.

15. That he changed the screaming sound of Stolas’s ringtone to a cute bird one and presumably changed the contact name from “Creepy Mouth (aka one night stand bird dick)” to his actual name. Not to mention, his ringtone for Loona is a dog one—what does it say that he made Stolas’s a bird one?

16. When Blitzø is giving Stolas that weird look when they meet as children, he’s not finding kid!Stolas weird or annoying, he’s weirded out because Stolas’s father is there acting like a jackass and hitting him in front of Blitzø. (It took me multiple rewatches to notice that one, actually.)

17. That despite saying “We ain’t bodyguards. That was a one-time thing we did badly,” he saved Stolas from Striker the first time without 1) being asked or 2) paid to do it. He just did—and didn’t tell him afterwards in order to receive any type of accolades. He saved him quietly.

18. He didn’t actually deny that Stolas was his boyfriend when that’s what Millie called him.

19. Striker was the first person outside of I.M.P. to call Blitzø on his feelings for Stolas—and mock him for them.

20. “I’ll take the first watch” and “You guys better go make sure Stolas is okay” in Loo Loo Land.

21. Blitz tried to get his attention when he was attempting to break into Stolas’s room. That’s gotta mean something, idk what.

22. Blitzø lied to everyone, including himself, that he had to sleep with Stolas to get the Grimoire when he actually did that AND spent the entire night with him of his own free will (which actually jeopardized his mission, let alone helped it).

23. Blitz remembered him for over two decades—Stolas had forgotten him until he showed up again, it seems.

24. Blitzø had a chance to go home with Cash Buckzo but he stayed and played with Stolas instead.

25. He was about to say something when Fizzarolli called his love life “a pile of shit” before Verosika cut him off. He also looks at Stolas and back when Fizz sings, “Some nerve you’ve got to comment on a relationship.”

26. He cried after Ozzie’s.

* He got wasted off his ass after Ozzie’s.

* He said he could drink Queen Bee-lzebub under the table because “you have no idea what kind of night I’ve had” and told Loona he had “a really shitty day.”

* He was gonna have sex with a dude who looked like Stolas but in the end got rid of him—and requested a man by the same name as the lead in the soap opera Stolas also watches.

* He made out with, at minimum, four strangers (if Dennis was in the five-person makeout).

* He cried that Fizz was right that he was gonna die alone again.

* Even though he couldn’t remember Dennis’s name when they’d been making out ten seconds ago, the last word on his lips before he fell asleep was “Stolas” (he also seems to have gone in increasing order of importance with the names he muttered).

27. That he slept with Chaz, but said he was terrible in bed, used him for information, and snuck out as soon as Chaz was asleep instead of staying beside him all night.

28. That Blitzø was paid to hang out with him that day (though thankfully neither of them know that he was only worth $5 and a slim-fit condom to Cash Buckzo), and he didn’t want to steal from him.

29. How scared Blitz looked when he was being led back to Stolas’s room after he said “I will deal with him accordingly.”

30. He’s almost definitely reading Stolas’s apologetic and “only if you want!” texts as lack of interest.

31. How hurt/annoyed Blitz is every time Stolas thoughtlessly says something about imps, which is especially prevalent in “Harvest Moon Festival.”

32. Despite the persona he puts on and what Stolas probably believes because of that persona, Blitzø is clearly struggling with self-hatred and self-worth issues in general.

33. How much it’s going to hurt Blitzø when he reaches out and Stolas rejects him (or what he’s going to see as Stolas’s rejection when he gives him the crystal)—because that’s exactly what happened with his sister. For all we know, Stolas isn’t even aware that Blitzø has a twin sister.

34. He loves Stolas with everything he has and deep down he’s aware of that, even if he’s lying to himself about it.

Conclusion: AHHHHHH

#i figured why not create a list to hurt myself in an organized way #because there’s SO MUCH that we as the audience know so we know they’re both in love with each other #but THEY don’t #helluva boss #stolas #stolas goetia #blitzø #blitz #queen bee #ozzie’s #moxxie #moxxie knolastname #millie #millie knolastname #helluva chaz #helluva striker #stolitz #my BOYS #i rly hope they get to find all of this out one day 💕 #stella #stella goetia #barbie wire #cash buckzo #fizzarolli #octavia #octavia goetia #verosika mayday #loona #helluva loona #helluva paimon

[respectthepetty]

Having read bits of your post on To Be Continued, I'm curious about your thoughts on To Be Continued and The Promise even though I am not watching the former and dropped the latter.

Where would you say they rank on The Alan Scale?

I don't know what's happening to me, y'all because first I didn't want Yuan to be too petty in Unknown, and now . . .

I ain't that mad at To Be Continued

Therefore, it's not on the Alan scale (yet! We still have one more episode so shit could change) because the show is kinda basic, but not in a bad way. It's checking off the BL boxes, but, oddly enough, it called out itself in this past episode for doing that.

It's not City of Stars level of awareness, but both leads acknowledged the reason they separated for ten years was pointless. They both apologized for the hurt they caused, then they chilled on the couch and cracked jokes. It was rushed as many of us assumed it would be, but it happened.

In the beginning, I did not like Achi. I thought he was disrespectful to Ji and pushy. Then by episode three, I was completely on Achi's side while being livid at Ji for being distant.

But I've never been upset at Gumbie. He is perfect. He is everything. He is love personified. He resides in my heart. Forever.

Then, once both men stated that they should have actually talked to each other after they had sex as teenagers, I just wasn't as pissed at either of them as I had been for the six previous episodes.

I'm still upset. Let me not gloss over that because I had to deal with hating them for various reasons most of the series, but just like Sun for 7 Days Before Valentine, I see the growth. They aren't the same raggedy bitches that walked into the series.

Unlike this motherfucker.

Phu was exactly who he was at the beginning of The Promise. Not one thing changed about him. He would still run away from the problems HE CAUSED instead of answering for any of the bullshit he pulled.

Nan had already forgiven Phu before Phu even came back into his life. Hell, Nan had forgiven Phu AS PHU WAS WALKING AWAY! Yet we still had to witness Phu be the victim.

There is only one show for me that has really gotten the "I left him because I love him" right and that's our Lord and Savior known as Our Dating Sim.

And it's because none of these other shows know how to balance the reason for leaving with the anger of being left. THAT'S IMPORTANT!

The Promise didn't allow Nan to be angry AND for Phu to acknowledge his part in that anger. Phu just kept crying. How can a relationship happen when Nan could never trust that Phu wouldn't run away again since Phu never saw what he did as wrong?

To Be Continued at least acknowledged that both the reason for Achi leaving and Ji being upset were insignificant. It's not great, but it's the basic amount needed to start fresh because it makes things equal. No one is left standing on high ground thinking his actions were right and the other guy's were wrong.

So, yeah, basic. Bare minimum. But it checked the boxes.

And it also had Poppy's fine ass, so . . .

I ain't that mad at it.

#meditation level breathing through episodes #but my blood pressure is solid #to be continued #to be continued the series #I ain't that mad at it #YET #But we still have one episode

[utilitycaster]

the thing is, the accounts on cr twitter who have these wild takes aren't even shippers

they're all about nuance about the gods, aeor, ludinus, ruby vanguard.....but then have these extreme views about orym, say he's got bloodlust and pretty much equate him to a cop/military soldier

Hey anon! So I will admit as I have in the past that I largely avoid CR Twitter because I hate Twitter as a platform and the community of CR Twitter specifically (more below) but I will say the tweets I have seen have largely been from people who are, if not the most rabid of shippers, shippers. I did in fact just go there and click on "Orym" as it was trending, and the tweets to this effect are largely from people with black and purple hearts in their names. I don't think they're necessarily conscious that this is the reason why they try so hard to discredit Liam's characters (and I think the desire for Laudna to be a Traumatized Innocent rather than a person who has done her own share of harm is an even larger factor) but I do think it is part of it.

I should note: a significant point of reference for me is that the person who famously said "do not uwuify this" re Orym post episode 63 is Wally Wests on Twitter. Look, I know I use the word "stupid" a lot, and I'm trying to reduce it not because I think it's a problem to use but because it reduces the impact and also heavily implying people are stupid without outright saying it tends to be more effective on every level but god this person is the dumbest motherfucker in the fandom and I'm not even kidding. Like, they're the "Australian white person who writes like Rupi Kaur but worse" I've referenced. Because of The Algorithm they are weirdly popular in that space and it baffles me because I honestly don't understand why every single thing they say isn't just filled with replies saying "are you fucking stupid." Like I physically cannot understand how you can have a brain and read a single word they say and go "this is a person I should listen to." They are also not a big shipper, but they do like the ship from what I understand. Specifically on Tumblr, the people echoing this nonsense are pretty much shippers.

With that said yeah, I do think it's worth addressing the soldier aspect. First off, if we're talking cops, why is Bryce, pleasant but forgettable minor NPC, inexplicably popular in this fandom despite them being an actual crownsguard of an actual authoritarian government. Like are all fictional cops bastards or no (fwiw my opinion is no, because the context of the world in which they exist is extremely important; I'm just pointing out the inconsistencies)? But also...I've run into this with Worlds Beyond Number too, and it actually came up on the Fireside chat, but there are words people hear (empire, religion, soldier) and automatically go "BAD BAD BAD" and don't spend any time thinking about how we've come to these conclusions. And for what it's worth I think Empire is always ultimately going to be bad because of its source in conquest; religion is neutral with the potential to harm or hurt; and soldier is deeply contextual and inherently gray; but all are very valid things to explore in fiction, where the war crimes and abuses aren't real. I remember seeing a take about Candela Obscura shitting on how half the party is former soldiers, and like...the messaging of this season of Candela is undeniably about the immense psychological damage of war, and the soldiers were defending their home against a colonizing force rather than doing any sort of invading, but some people are so high on a paper-thin unexamined concept of what I presume they tell themselves is leftism that they cannot see that. Orym's husband did not die trying to invade a nation for their oil. He died because people trying to unleash a horror ran an attack on their town as a practice run. Orym's experience as a soldier has always been one of defense, never conquest or destruction, and that is important to understand. It doesn't mean that in the future Zephrah couldn't become an oppressive power (and various worldbuilding in Exandria does explore the idea of small community watches or protective guards growing deeply corrupt or expansionist over time, but god knows the people saying this shit have the lore knowledge of a dead pigeon), but the aspects of being a soldier he is engaging with are those of personal sacrifice and protecting one's own, not killing for resources or ideology (which, let's be real, is usually an excuse to take the resources of those you disagree with).

#answered #Anonymous #i've also now gotten like. 3 or 4 examples of how fucking BONKERS this cohort's cherrypicking is re: video clips #they cut off just before the thing that clearly contradicts their point starts. it would be funny if it didn't remind me so much of fox new #anyway uh. sorry anon for going on a rant this is why i don't go on twitter. #long post #cr tag

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Misc thoughts I wrote down as I watched tonight's episode:

COLINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Will babe you're 25 and you didn't know about CDs???

JAMIE GETTING WORDS RIGHT I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM

(this is especially satisfying bc Beard, much as I love him, was being an absolute bitch to jamie just now)

everybody is being so goddamn condescending i stg if my boy doesn't end up being the one in the right re: zava by the end...

oh passage of time mid-episode, interesting

Ohhhhhh shit he's Ted and Michelle's old counselor...yikes

"Pal" "wingman" oof closeted Colin is hurting my heart

WHERE TF IS MY BOY did he come to the restaurant??

Oh no there he is :(

I am incredibly excited for the training oh my god

I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot more to say about the roy and Jamie restaurant convo but tbh I have not fully processed that scene yet. i just know it was good.

Also I'm holding out hope for Jamie to still be right about Zava...things are going so well obviously something bad's gonna happen

oh NOT this motherfucker telling Sam what to serve in HIS restaurant...bro...

GASP

No keeley and jamie hug :( I'm actually a bit concerned that that moment from the trailer was a deleted scene and we'll never get to see it. Will they have Jamie repeat an outfit in a future episode?? I sure hope so . . . i need to see my boy get hugged!!

oh wait I looked at the trailer clip again and it's the white hoodie but with a white vest (aka one of the same pieces but overall different outfit) so hopefully we're good and the hug just happens later (honestly idk when jamie and keeley would've hugged in this episode storyline-wise so the deleted scene thing doesn't really make sense anyway. ok i think we're good glad i talked myself through that lmao)

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso #jamie tartt #colin hughes #zava

[o-wyrmlight]

A Toast to the Pigs, Chapter 12. Or--as I like to call it--'The Racism Episode'. As you could probably assume, this chapter deals heavily in racism and tackles two of Martinaise's three most hated racists in the game. It's about fucking time.

When she first left you, all those years ago, maybe you meant it. No, there's no 'maybe' to it—you did. Look how easy it was to blame the woman instead of the man—instead of yourself. Look how much easier it was for you to slip into denial and slander women and races in a drunken stupor to your fellow colleagues. Your words were infectious like poison, and they infected you. It's so much easier to be angry than it is to be insightful. Do you remember that night, Harry? Three years ago, hanging in a bar off the Esperance River. You looked at that child outside the window and you felt disgusted. But why were you disgusted?—The dark skin, the criminal jaw? This was a child. You used to teach children, you imbecile. You tore your eyes from the window to look at the man beside you. "Jean," you slurred, patting his back, "Jeanie, am I a bad person?" "Well, you aren't a good person." He knocked back a shot of vodka. You bit before you could think. "And you're an ugly motherfucker." He scoffed and shook his head. You just proved his point. You say things to hurt other people. You do it on purpose. Of course you're not a good person.

He squinted—assuming Harry was right… he could see the hypothetical path, yes. Jump the rail on the first landing onto the Frittte roof and climb up the window from there. It was definitely a much safer call than shimmying along the side of the balcony, that was for sure. The only obstacle would probably be the man on the landing.

“…You’re sure that’ll work?” he asked dubiously.

“I’m sure,” Harry said, his voice firm with conviction. Kim didn’t even need to look at him to know his hands were on his hips. “It feels right.”

“Welcome to Revachol.”

Harry and Kim turned toward the voice on their right in sync, bodies jolting. It came from the man circling the front of the lorry, coming to a stop several feet in front of them. A cigarette dangled carelessly between his fingers.

The first thing Kim noticed about him was the smugness in his smile—the crooked teeth and self-righteousness it seemed to carry. The second was that his eyes were focused solely on Kim.

Harry’s eyes traced the man’s gaze to Kim and back again. His shoulders squared, tensing as he seemed to reach the same conclusion.

“Don’t talk to my partner like that.”

#disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #wyrm writes #a toast to the pigs #i posted it early to compensate for not being able to make a post last week #the next update will be on friday though and it'll likely not be as long

[arabian-bloodstream]

HOTD S01E10 thoughts

Well, I thought the finale was awesome. Also, apparently, Rhaenyra is TOTALLY my favorite character, not Daemon, LOL!

- Emma D’arcy is amazing. Period.

- Sorry, ya’ll, but I completely understood where Daemon was coming from throughout the whole thing. He was like YAAAAS, I finally have a reason to take these motherfuckers down, go to war on Otto and his bootlickers after nearly 20 years. YAAS!!!! Woohoo!!

- Why, why, why would he even remotely want to be there when Rhaenrya was going through that childbirth which could possibly lead to her death when he loves her so much when he went nearly through the same thing with Laena who he didn’t love even remotely near like? Daemon has shown in the past that he does, you know, like cowardly shit. He runs when it’s too much. This is like the ZENITH of way, way, waaaaaaaaaay too much. Of course, his ass wasn’t there.

- As for Daemon choking her, duh! four things:

1. That was all about Viserys and Daemon’s major, major issues about Viserys. Never being good enough for Viserys. Viserys never choosing him for anything. Finding out that he had been heir to the throne for how many freaking years and Viserys had NEVER told him this HUGE fucking thing? And to find this out the day or so after Viserys died, so he can’t even have a good vent to Viserys about it because he’s still dealing with his major grief over Viserys, you know, dying.

2. Daemon is dealing with a shit-ton of emotional shit. A) Viserys, the brother he deeply loved, died. B) He just lost his baby. C) His wife’s throne was just usurped. D) He’s all hepped up on YAAAAAS! I can finally kill Otto and Crispin and all of those other cunts who have annoyed me for years!!

3. Daemon hurt her physically. And then Rhaenyra gave it right back emotionally. Did you see her reaction once he let go? She was all (with a smile on her face, no less) “You didn’t know? Hahahahaha! He never told you!!” Yeah, she hit back at him where it fucking hurt!

Yeah, these two fucking fight dirty as fuck!

4. Daemon Targaryen is NOT an anti-hero. He can be a monster. He can be a bad guy who does a lot of really, really bad things. Yes, he loves his family. Yes, he does, but he is not some woobie. He does really awful, terrible shit. That be who Daemon is. This is NOT out of character for him. No, sireebob!

- Rhaenyra making sure that Rhaena and Baela were part of the war council discussion... chef’s kiss.

- I love Jace. That is all.

- Every moment with Luke made my heart hurt because I knew what was coming.

- The contrast to the birth episode from the first episode compared to this one, gah. All the awards for Emma D’Arcy. ALL. THE. AWARDS. Throughout the labor, pulling out the stillbirth baby girl, holding her, wrapping her up. Gah. And even Daemon coming upon her and unable to come in because it was too much for him and then his grief on his own out in the waves. My heart!! Gosh, it was devastating.

- Vhargar is huge. Aemond is fucking evil. I hate him. I know, he didn’t mean to kill Luke, but still!

- Rhaenrya tried so hard for peace. She. Tried. So. FUCKING HARD. And Daemon was such... ugh, he kept acting like he was in charge, and some of the looks she was giving him like, “Fucker, I AM THE QUEEN, dude!” And then likewise when she wouldn’t let him kill Otto, he was all, “but, but, but.... I wanna! Why won’t you let me kill me him?!?!?” (And, honestly, I was thinking same. “Rhaenyra... let Daemon kill Otto!!”)

- Ooh, I loved the callback to Daemon and Otto facing off on the Dragonstone walkway and then here comes Rhaenrya on Syrax. And this time, Rhaenyra was WITH Daemon. So cool.

- Finally, oh, I LOVED when Ser Erryk brought out the crown, knelt and declared himself loyal to the Queen, said his vows. Oh, I was all verklempt. Then Daemon put the crown upon Rhaenyra’s head, called her “My Queen” and then knelt before her. And all followed suit. That was great.

Really, I think if the showrunners had known how well the show as going to do they would have stretched things out more and THAT would have been the end of the season. It would have been a fantastic contrast the to previous episode’s end, and such an awesome end to the episode and season. Ah well.

Overall, I thought it was a fantastic episode. Emma D’Arcy was really the MVP. Just fantastic. Ep 9 was meh, but this one was awesome. Can’t wait to rewatch it on Sunday night!

#house of the dragon #hotd episode 10 #hotd 1x10 #hotd episode leak #emma d'arcy #the black queen #queen rhaenyra #daemon targaryen #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon spoilers

[lowcountry-gothic]

I just finished season 7 of my Dexter rewatch, and wow, that gut-punch of a scene. I always thought of it as a plot twist, a surprise, as the episode’s title—“Surprise, Motherfucker!”—would suggest the viewer is meant to think about it, but this time around, knowing what’s about to happen, it feels inevitable. As if there were nothing else that could possibly happen. And I’m rethinking the way I view this entire show. The first time around, when it was first airing, I always thought of Dexter Morgan as an antihero, someone like Batman, who achieved justice where the system failed, albeit a much more bloody and violent justice. Now it seems clear to me that Dexter isn’t an antihero, and almost certainly isn’t meant to be one by the writers. He’s the main figure in a sort of modern day Greek tragedy.

The tragedy of what happened to his mother, sure, and the trauma her death caused, and the way it made him fascinated with blood and death...that much is obvious. But what I’m seeing now are things that, for whatever reason, escaped me before. Things like his adoptive father seeing this fascination with blood and death and, instead of treating it as an unhealthy coping mechanism for his trauma, seeing it—and more tragically, explaining it to Dexter in such a way that he believes it himself—not as something he could possibly heal from, but as a fatalistic, permanent, and defining aspect of who and what Dexter is. Harry’s belief that Dexter just isn’t normal, and never can be, and the way this shaped Dexter’s own sense of himself and the possibilities his life could hold. The way Harry uses Dexter to fulfill his own cop vengeance fantasies that he can’t enact, and the way that Harry’s subsequent suicide makes Dexter feel like it’s all his own fault.

And there’s the fact that Dexter builds a normal life for himself first as a mask to hide what he thinks truly defines him, but doesn’t even question the idea of this side of his life as “false” until midway into the show, when he begins to see that he is just as capable of meaningful human relationships as anyone else is, and that his brokenness isn’t something unique to him but a feature everyone shares, though in much less extreme ways. How he only realizes, after so much personal loss and tragedy, that his “need” to kill is only a passing emotional state that doesn’t control him, and the way he only realizes this after so much killing when it’s too late to live a life uncomplicated by murder and criminal guilt and murderous habits.

The way he, based on Harry’s beliefs, makes decisions and prioritizes things in ways that seem very small at first, but it’s soon obvious, cumulatively, that he’s unintentionally hurting those he loves in ways that don’t stab but cut like paper.

And the way his ultimate decision that his “fake” life—his career and relationships—is the most important thing to him, and he doesn’t want to lose it, the way this realization comes too late because at this point he’s already given up so much to the altar of his hidden life that so very little of the “normal” life he now values so much is even left at this point.

And of course there’s Deb, and her love for him, and how it causes her to make so many bad decisions, so many instances of giving up her own self for him, and the way this culminates in such a horrifying way for her at the end of season 7—we’re not really even sure if the shot was intentional or an accident, but that doesn’t matter, not for her. It’s so tragic. And the way that she’s so overcome by horror and grief, for herself and for Laguerta, and the sheer agony evident on her face as she breathes, “I hate you,” a line that not even the subtitles caption—you just have to pay attention and listen or be able to read her lips—Damn.

And above all, how things didn’t have to be this way. If Harry had had more faith in Dexter as a child. If he hadn’t—just like a cop—believed that people’s dark sides are the most important things about them. that people are either good people or bad people and that the former need to be protected from the latter at all costs.

How could anyone see this show as being about Dexter’s little darkly comic adventures and the way he forges his own deadly brand of justice, and not about how his entire life, and that of everyone he becomes important to, is just one sad, devastating story after another????

#text #mine #dexter #rewatches #dexter rewatch #dexter morgan #debra morgan #harry morgan #maria laguerta #rita bennett #tragedy

[hacash]

ted lasso 3x02 thoughts

Listen, I think we can all agree that this episode could pretty much be titled ‘Trent Crimm: Return of the Crimm’. I’m not even a big tedpendent girl but this was definitely their time.

I loved seeing Trent back at Richmond! It’s going to be great having more of James Lance on the show: one thing I did think was that Trent had definitely lost a little bit of his customary swagger – he’s back at Richmond but he’s no longer dominating the press room, he’s very much now in the jock-dominated locker room where the Roy storyline made it clear that he no longer has that commanding power that he did in the world of journalism (James Lance’s headcanon that Trent got into sports journalism because his dad wanted him to be into football – Trent is both of that world and not of it - lives in my head rent-free), and the entire arc of this episode was a really interesting way of easing Trent into this scene.

Being a non-sports, non-celebrity, non-rich person, the one gripe I often have with Ted Lasso is it very much takes the rich celebrity jock-ish status of the team as given – of course the himbos are justified in being paid ludicrous sums of money, of course it’s funny and not unsettling that Jamie thinks of non-celebrities as ‘muggles’. So having Trent, who’ll be the first locker-room-regular to come from a more academic, working-a-regular-non-sports-job-background, will be an interesting dynamic switch.

Roy’s entire arc with Trent just stabbed me in the heart. I always knew there had to be more to the ‘you’re a colossal prick and you always have been’ line and now I feel so freaking vindicated. And whoever pointed out that Roy refused to carry on the cycle of condemning teenage players back in s2 as a pundit…argh.

AND HE CARRIED THAT REVIEW AROUND WITH HIM FOR TWENTY-ODD YEARS. (Apparently the British comedian Eric Morecambe did a similar thing: carrying an old bad review of his first television appearance with him for the rest of his life despite reaching unparalleled success in his heyday. *sniffles*)

The one thing that was slightly jarring about Trent’s return was it felt like everyone (except for Roy) was surprisingly chill about him being at Richmond, considering that he was the journalist who broke the story about Ted’s mental health problems (Keeley even mentions gunning for Trent in the S2 finale). Of course, Ted being Ted we can assume he did a lot of sticking up for Trent at the time, but this only turns us back again to the big, painful, heart-stomping elephant in the room…how much does the rest of the Richmond crew know about the leak? And if it does ever slip out, how exactly is that going to go down?

On that note, I was under the impression that we only had to suffer more of Rupert if we also got more delicious Nate angst and arcs into the bargain. The fact that this week we had Rupert’s gross manipulations and no Nate is just a slap in the face.

(Anthony Head remains so wonderfully evil though.)

Zava! I’ve been hypothesising about him since leaked pictures of the first West Ham match hit Twitter, and I’m really interested in seeing where he goes…though, I’ll be real, right now he strikes me as just a prick. And not even a dumb, amusing prick like s1 Jamie (who I knew I was going to have a grudging soft spot for back when he piped up about the snacks being shit), but just…a prick. We’ll see though. I’m also really looking forward to seeing Jamie’s reaction to Zava: if he doesn’t like sharing the spotlight with another ace, or if it’s seeing the primadonna beneath the glamour and not wanting Zava to hurt his team.

And speaking of Zava’s hire…Rebecca’s takedown of him was magnificent, and her ability to be dragged into dodgy business decisions just to one-up Rupert are being played for laughs right now…but let’s be real, this show always plays things for laughs before turning the tables on you. Which basically means: this is going to hurt like a motherfucker.

Also REBECCA WAS THE OTHER WOMAN?!?!? God, that adds so many layers to Sassy telling her she’d hurt people while with Rupert. I cannot wait to find out more about that, it’s already hurting my heart.

DANI SCORING A GOAL WITH HIS FACE. Also his puppy dog excitement about Zava, which I’m sure won’t come back to bite him in the arse later.

I love how Higgins is basically the Richmond equivalent of Varys – he has his contacts everywhere, and no secrets are secret from him.

Keeley and Barbara! Honestly, I’m quite here for where this is going – Barbara’s attitude in this ep unkind and, let’s be honest, pretty classist when it came to Shazza(? Keeley’s model friend?), but also you do need someone to be boring and sensible and check the numbers when it comes to running a business. I’m hoping they keep working together well.

And that moment when Keeley watched Roy come back to Chelsea *lip wobble*

Actually, that entire Chelsea return moment…

AND the knowledge that Roy left Chelsea and Keeley because he couldn’t bear to be left… That revelation hurt. Not even Ted batting his eyes cartoon-anime-style could take the sting out of that kick to the chest.

Jamie continuing to go from strength to strength by trying to comfort Roy (unsuccessfully) in this episode, in his own unique fashion. ‘Old people are jumpy because of the war’ was incredible.

Not nearly enough himbos in this episode, I’m sorry to say, but the scene where they react to Zava, Trent, and Roy breaking up with Keeley was a thing of absolute beauty. And Beard’s shriek at the news was both hilarious and justifiable.

I’m also fascinated by the choice to have the himbos identify the best tactic to fight back at the Chelsea match, rather than Ted – it’s the second time in so many episodes when someone else has stepped up to do something which would traditionally be Ted’s role, and I’m wondering if there’s a pattern here. (And if there is, how Ted – who’s clearly uncertain about his place at Richmond – will interpret that.)

God, I almost nearly forgot that this was the episode where we found out that Isaac is a student of kinesics (Renaissance man!) and apparently regularly checks out Roy’s arse. Here we were all thinking Colin would be confirmed queer this season…is McAdoo about to sneak in from under our noses?

Also the post-gym scenes made this the episode where I realised the Greyhounds are definitely sporting a somewhat more...athletic look this season. I may have to put together some s1 v s3 comparison pics to be sure about this. Stay tuned.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso speculation #theodore lasso #coach beard #trent crimm: the independent #roy kent #rebecca welton #keeley jones #rupert mannion #isaac mcadoo #jamie tartt

[thedevilsoftruth]

Haven't posted in a while, but something that was really bugging me a lot was some shit I noticed when rewatching the Moon Knight series that I think a lot of comic book fans could relate to. I know, Mr " um actually " comic book guy is talking right now but imma need you all to bare with me here for a second. and before any of you start typing, please remember everything said here is MY opinion. All I ask is that you're respectful. I'm going to start of with how I don't understand the hype around this motherfucker.

Literally the most whiniest mf in the ENTIRETY of the MCU. The only people who can like or tolerate this bitch are mfs who have 9 hours of daily screen time on TikTok, listen to hyperpop music and think that he's a soft uwu meow meow baby girl hurt emo princess boy.

Moon Knight is literally one of the most metal superheros out there and the directors saw that and said, " now imagine that but we make his woman so much better than him and water him down and completely change his back story and then wipe our asses with it, spit on it and then pretend we were trying to show representation. " Like what the fuck are you fucking doing?

My first problem is that I felt like this show focused too much on Layla and her relationship to Marc... Nvm, Sorry I lied. Not Marc, fucking STEVEN. This show isn't about " Layla ", whoever the fuck that is, its about MARC and Steven and JAKE. (I'll talk about Jake later) Like can we just... " Are you an Egyptian superhero? " " I am. 🥺" GIRL BYE 💀💀 this part of this show was so bad it made eternals look good. This was cringe on the level of seeing your mother do a dab. All that episode 6 was about was Layla kicking ass and that's it. I don't understand why Kevin Feige has the urge to make everything about badass women. Like theres ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that, I love badass women and we need more women superheros, but I'm just saying, I came here to watch MOON KNIGHT not Layla El-faouly.

So funny how they make a show about Marc Spector and he only gets like 20 minutes out of the 6 hours of the entirety of the show. I think the most time he got on screen was like episode five and maybe two but that's about it. It felt like he was only there to make things depressing and to make Steven Grant have better character development because he himself is just so fucking boring and not funny. Marc Spector is so much more than " I got hit as a kid and my alter ego is fucking my ex wife. " He's a Jewish antihero struggling with a personality disorder that's eating his life away and a toxic relationship with a man who's been basically lying, emotionally abusing, and manipulating him since his CHILDHOOD. What I love most about Marc Spector is that he's not like all other these mighty superheros, he's just some dude. He just some dude with real human struggles like you and me, trying to figure himself out and navigate through his disorder. Marc should have had a bigger role in this show but I guess Steven Grant and Layla were more interesting than him. Steven is the main course, Layla is the desert and Marc is the salad off to the side that's barley been eaten. I also don't understand why her name had to be Layla. They could just keep her Egyptian but also have her name be Marlene...like... What. It's just so much cuter imo.

Steven Grant is not a shy British man with great manners who works in a gift shop and is giving in his moms flat, he's a savvy millionaire ( who's from Chicago, Illinois, so as Marc and Jake ) who works in the film industry and lives in a mansion. Those are two completely different characters. Everyone that I've seen who's criticized Steven in the slightest has said that he was bland, boring, and the producers were trying too hard to make him funny. You can't try to have something that's just straight up sad happening with a character and then pretend that it's funny and try to make it into comedy. That's just not how it works and it's not realistic. That's why movies like The Crow are good and movies like Renfield are bad. The Crow takes itself seriously and is genuinely sad but lightly sprinkled with comedy, Renfield wanted to be a bit sad, but ruined itself by trying to hard to make every scene funny.

The only good scene in this entire show is the scene where Marc says, " you are you the only real superpower I ever had " or whatever the fuck. I didn't pay attention because all I could think about was the scene from frozen where Anna fucking froze and Elsa cried about it and then unfroze her with her tears or something. I guess her tears must have been really hot.

What I'll give Muhammad Diab credit for is casting. Having Layla be Egyptian is good, and having Oscar Isaac casted as Marc is also really good. Everyone In the comics is white for a character normally centered around Egyptian bullshit. They also got Khonshus personality right and that's about it.

I hate how the producers said that this show was all about " representation" and then didn't add Frenchie, who is a gay french guy in it or Bushman who is a black mercenary because he was " too much like Killmonger " ( which doesn't make any fucking sense because they are drastically different on so many levels but okay. ) they also said that this show is they're most brutal and violent show yet, but they were " violent " ( and bloody-ish ) the first three episodes and then just kinda gave up towards the end.

For the last thing, I'm gonna talk about Jake finally. Just pretend that I'm sighing right now. Like a really audible, dramatic sigh.

I get they wanted for us to differentiate the differences between each personality with accents but Jake doesn't need to speak Spanish. He doesn't speak Spanish in the comics and having him do it is completely unnecessary. I get it's Hollywood and Hollywood needs to make everything sexy and attractive, but Jake Lockley is the least sexiest alter of Marc Spector. He doesn't wear a suit with black leather gloves or drive a limousine, he's a fucking taxi cab driver with a really weird mustache who wears a turtle neck. When I think sexy, I don't think taxi driver. And it ruins the point of Jake Lockley as well because Marc uses Jake to see what's going on on the streets in New York. New York is really busy and crowded, so people are more prone to using a taxi, not a limousine unless you're bougie and rich.

Anyways that was my rant. Good night.

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #marvel mcu #marc spector #moon knight #steven grant #jake lockley #marvel smut #moon knight comics #marvel comics #steven grant slander #marvel slander #moon knight slander