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#mothers and children who already exist
tbos-main · 4 months
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Obviously drako and kiva are very close, but were rin and kiva? Before Lugalia got onto him, was there ever closeness between kiva and rin?
they were definitely closer when he was very young because kiva isn't the type of person to be able to ignore a literal baby/toddler/child that genuinely needs her to survive, so that need to give care would force their proximity and there was genuinely a lot of love there, but the saddest part about rin is that he was literally born doomed (he was born an apology...). everything with lilla had already happened; his birth inherently filled the hole she left behind and kiva DIDNT WANT THAT. lugalia's efforts to wholesale erase lilla and claim rin as the firstborn only furthered kiva's reluctance because she became the only one willing to remember lilla, and therefore saw it as her duty to her daughter to reject herines as the firstborn, even if it meant rejecting him completely.
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blujayonthewing · 2 years
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the problem with Elyss feeling everything so much all the time but being really bad at introspection and actually understanding and articulating those feelings is that there is stuff inside of her that I need other people to hear, but it’s hard for me to imagine her being literally remotely capable of, say, confronting her birth father with what, exactly, it is she feels about him
#Elyss already says a lot of things that make me feel weird because I can feel the stretch of it#she talks a lot more about her feelings than she should because *I* want to explain them#but even stretching what feels actually in character for her I still feel hard pressed to justify a few specific impassioned speeches#but her genie father who had apparently been surveilling her entire life and documenting it from a (really long) distance#wrote a forward in that book about how Elyss was his favorite of his children but 'she never seemed to seek me out'#how dare you! how dare you fling my mother across the world to bear me and raise me alone!#how dare you watch my life in silence from another fucking continent without making yourself known and say I never sought you!#I was a CHILD and I was so so alone-- where were you?#I threw myself- unprepared and ignorant- into the wilderness DESPERATELY hoping for answers to who and what I am-- where were you?#I didn't know you EXISTED-- where should I have sought you?? how DARE you?#... actually I think what I almost want more is for her to be able to explain this to the party but that almost seems harder#but anyway it's all a moot point because all Elyss knows is that thinking about her father fills her with deep anger#and a confused rush of other unpleasant feelings (she's having a hard time even identifying them but among them are sorrow and grief)#she feels that she hates him. she's not incapable of picking apart why but it's A Process for her and she hasn't had time#is she even introspective/ self aware enough to call it resentment...?#about me#my OCs#elyss
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menderash · 6 months
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did you guys know that the mother fucking UN's humanitarian and legal experts have been saying israel's occupation of palestine territories is and has always been illegal, as it violates the FUCKING GENEVA CONVENTION? did you know it was britain that 'gave' the land that wasn't theirs to give to found the state of israel as a tactic to get more jews to join the british army in their already-active war against the ottoman empire? did you know that just between 2008 and 2022 the idf killed almost SEVEN THOUSAND palestinians, as opposed to the 308 israelis by palestinians in the same time period? did you know that israel itself admits to 'forcefully evacuating' palestinians from their homes over the course of their annexation of the country? did you know the british army helped them? did you know that any palestinian who didn't want to have their house taken from them and given to american immigrants being shipped in to populate britain's pet project was killed on their spot? did you know that back in 2018 palestinians did nothing but MARCH in protest of their occupation and in response, the idf is CONFIRMED to have killed almost 400 of them, including FIFTY FIVE CHILDREN? did you know palestinians are not allowed to build anything on the land they have left? did you know they aren't ALLOWED TO LEAVE?? did you know over HALF of christian evangelicals support israel solely because the bible says israel has to exist in order to bring about the second coming? did you know that in 2021, over 88% of us congress were evangelical christians? did you know israel is confirmed to have knowingly bombed palestinian hospitals and the idf had been caught targeting journalists? did you know israel is committing another war crime at this very moment by dropping white phosphorus on gaza civilians? did you know the israeli press was just confirmed to have completely fabricated an account of palestinian war crime right after their own got caught on film? did you know the defense minister of israel openly called all palestinians 'animals' to justify the deaths of their civilians? did you know holocaust survivors are presently speaking out against the israeli state's ethnic cleansing of arabs?
why, in the united states, is criticizing a settler colony's active attempts at extermination labeled antisemitic because of the religion the settlers happen to practice, but rooting for the complete eradication of a muslim country that was already there and is barely still there not islamophobia?? why is religion being used as a shield to justify genocide?
when a sudden act of politically charged violence occurs, like the hamas attack a few days ago, i ask WHY? i ask WHY until i get as far back as i can. i read accounts written by all sides. i try to find out why this is happening in the first place. half of these facts have come from the israeli government itself. all of them are easily found and easily confirmed by reputable sources. a lot of them are caught on film. all of these facts lead me to know that the state of israel was created by britain in order to gain an advantage in an unrelated war. i know the state of israel has caused unimaginable harm to the country it's slowly eating, and has suffered just a fraction in return. i know religion justifies none of it.
palestinians deserve to live in their own country. palestinians deserve to not be forced to give their homes to americans. palestinians deserve to live, to leave, to stay, to wave their own fucking flag. they do not deserve to have another country plopped on top of them and then have their settlers ask 'don't WE have a right to exist?' as their own right to exist is being extinguished.
fuck the idf, fuck israel, fuck manifest destiny, fuck all settlers who think they deserve someone else's home enough to kick them out of it. literally, in israel's case. indigenous americans, indigenous canadians, chicanos, pacific islanders, filipinos, mestizos, we should all be standing with palestine, because we KNOW how colonial violence goes and what it looks like. solidarity between all colonised peoples. free palestine.
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northern-passage · 6 months
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Reblogging something about celebrating terrorist groups murdering and kidnapping people.....I just hope that anyone who enjoys seeing such things will *never* have the experience of having their loved ones disappear one morning.
I hope they never have to see the faces of theirs relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors on palestinian tv being beaten and dragged to gaza by terrorist.
Could you imagine seeing your friend who was missing the whole day on palestinian tiktok being kidnapped while people are happy about it? While entire streets are closed inside their homes because armed terrorist raid your city? Breaking into homes to kidnap people?
No matter what side theyre on i hope no one ever has to experience that kind of horror.
the Palestinian people have had to watch their children and brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers be murdered violently in the streets of Gaza for decades because of the violent occupation of Palestine.
you get to call the colonizers "relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" but the Palestinian people are only ever "terrorists." when the Israeli police drag Palestinians out of mosques and kill them in streets-- more than 200 Palestinians have been killed this year alone, plus the 161 that have already been killed in retaliation-- are you going to call them terrorists, too? as Israel continues their retaliation and kills 30 Palestinians for every single Israeli soldier, is it "terrorism" or will you find a way to justify it, then? will you care about the "relatives, friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" then?
"No matter what side theyre on i hope no one ever has to experience that kind of horror." again, Palestinians have been living this for decades. and what we're witnessing now is the inevitable response to those decades of oppression & occupation.
as for your "friends, classmates, colleagues and neighbors" -- they are living on occupied land. land that was taken by force through ethnic cleansing. they can leave at any time-- most of them have already, fleeing back to their home countries with their dual citizenships, or theyre safely sitting in hotels waiting for it to be over. they are settlers. they are part of the settler colony that is actively oppressing, dispossessing, and murdering Palestinians. and to be clear, that post you're talking about is not "celebrating civilian deaths," you are just purposefully misrepresenting it here to further dehumanize Palestinians and depict them as "terrorists." of course i do not want civilians to die. no one wants that. i feel for the Israeli people, the children & the ones who cannot leave. but at least they are allowed to be people, they are allowed to be friends, classmates, colleagues, neighbors. Palestinians have never been granted that, and you are proving it here in my inbox.
these "terrorists" you decry are oppressed people taking up arms-- scavenged from the weapons Israeli soldiers and police have been using against them for years-- to decolonize and take back their home. decolonization is a violent process. we absolutely cannot tolerate a double standard. there is no "both sides."
Myth: Israel is defending itself | Decolonize Palestine
Myth: Israel is not an Apartheid state | Decolonize Palestine
Myth: Israel has always sought peace | Decolonize Palestine
Myth: The Palestinian Authority subsidizes "terrorism" (pay to slay) | Decolonize Palestine
Myth: Israel (or any other state) has a right to exist | Decolonize Palestine
all of my support to the Palestinian resistance, from the river to the sea Palestine will be free.
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counterpunches · 2 years
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[[@else: I suppose it's time to tell my abortion story. Of the abortion that didn't happen, that led to me.
A lot of anti-abortion people put words & thoughts into the mouths of the unborn.
Well, I'm one that was recommended to stay unborn, who got born, and here's what I say.
My mother found our very early in her pregnancy that there was an extremely high risk to her if she continued.
Terminating the pregnancy was floated by one of the doctors. It would have been legal due to the risk to her, but heavily stigmatized.
Her family was deeply Catholic. She was deeply Catholic.
She did not terminate. The risk became a reality.
So I'm here, and she's not.
I'm glad to be here.
It is hard to put into words the gratitude you feel to a mother who sacrificed herself entirely for you, and I'm not going to try here.
Because I'm also very angry.
Without in any way taking away from the courage and selflessness with which she bore her situation and which she showed in all aspects of her life
I don't believe she ever really felt like she had a true choice.
The stigma, the religious dogma, the judgement - everything she'd ever known - told her she could not save her own life.
Her parents would have, however sadly, believed she'd go to hell. Her family and friends and community would have judged her.
Everyone she'd ever loved believed it was wrong. And so she believed it was wrong.
Needlessly.
I don't know what choice she would have made if it had been a true choice.
Maybe she would have chosen me anyway. Maybe she would have chosen to stay for her two already-existing children and for all those who loved her so deeply.
But she should have had a real, true choice.
Would I trade being here for that?
In a heartbeat. Without hesitation.
My siblings could have grown up with their mother.
My grandparents could have seen their beloved daughter live out her beautiful life, instead of mourning her every day until their deaths.
Her brothers and sisters would not still thirty years later feel the pain of losing the sistre they loved so much.
She could have continued to bring the light to the world that she had always brought, that I have heard so much about.
My father perhaps would not have descended into the grief & guilt that destroyed him, our relationship with him, the innocence of our childhoods.
Now, I think about how my young nieces & nephews will grow up without her, without the kind of grandmother I had. That pains me too.
I grew up in the devastation of her death.
I've watched the consequences of it play out for thirty years.
I can see what might have been differently if she'd had a true choice and it snatches my breath away, to see the suffering that didn't have to be for the ones I love most.
I know that it is not my family, but it is also profoundly difficult to know that it is because of me.
Or to be more exact, because the world did not allow my mother her right to a true choice, and my being here is perhaps a result of that.
It's not a burden I'd wish on anyone
I wish that I could have told her. It's okay. Stay. Live. Be happy.
I wish I could know that she knew that that was more than ok.
Don't I want to be here? Don't I want to be alive, aren't I glad to live??
Now that I'm here, sure. But had I never been, what would I have lost? Nothing.
You can't miss what you never had. Can't lose anything when you never existed.
There's no pain or loss in not existing.
I didn't exist then, to want anything. I didn't exist to hope or wish or fear anything.
I didn't exist back then. Not me. There was a possibility. An idea, a hope maybe. Some cells, a process in her body. Not me, any more than a sperm was me or an egg was me.
*I" didn't become until much later. Til I was born.
My mother wouldn't have taken anything from me or cause me any pain by living for herself, because I didn't exist to lose anything.
There was so much pain, so much loss in losing her. Loss that will ripple down generations.
So I will say to my dying breath, as the person who only lives because she didn't abort, that whatever she thought or chose or did not chose, she should have had a real choice to abort.
That she should have felt that aborting me was valid and good a choice as not.
Everyone should feel that, and have real access to enact that choice without obstruction or shame or question.
Whether it is their actual life at risk, or not. A forced pregnancy can be the death of many things, not just the end of ther person's life.
Having me took away from the world everything that my mother could have given it.
Forcing someone to have a child against their will can take away what that person could be and bring if they had their choice, whether they live through the pregnancy or not.
Most of all it takes away their right - their inalienable right - to choose how they live their life in their own body.
A non-person, a hypothetical future event, the birth of someone who doesn't exist yet, doesn't have that right.
Other people, who claim to speak for the unborn do not have that right.
We all lose so much by it. It can cause such pain and suffering, for child-bearers, for children, for everyone.
Do not pretend to speak for the unborn.
Do not pretend to speak for the children born against their mother's will.
Do not pretend that you care for them while you hide misogyny behind dogma.
My mother deserved her right to a real choice.
Everyone does. Unconditionally.
As the child who could have been aborted, I tell you - to oppose that right, let alone work to criminalize it, is unforgivable.
I'd like to emphasize because I didn't say it loud enough in the original thread:
There doesn't need to be a tragic story or a threat to life to make abortion ok.
It can be simply because you don't want to have a child. That's all. You still have the right to a choice.
I told my sad story because:
a) it is important to me to counter the rhetoric of anti-choice folks, that claims that if the unborn could speak they would be anti-choice
b) forced pregnancies can really f*ck up lives in many ways and that needs to be recognized.
But:
There shouldn't have to be a tale of woe to justify bodily autonomy.
It's a right. An absolute right. It should be protected by law.
That's it. That's all.
Last thingL I want this point to be heard, but I don't particularly want to deal with blowing up on twitter.
I will probably lock my account down at some point, but I would like this still to be shared. Maybe use an unroll app and share from there if you would like to.]]
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whamss · 2 months
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Don't have a lot of thoughts on the HSBC update, but I am extremely stuck on this panel:
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And the thought of how absolutely horrifying it must be for Rose if Roxy actually grew up to look like Mom Lalonde. And I guess the implication here that the other alphas might have also grown up to look like their guardian counterparts (although Dirk died in his early 20s in this timeline, and Jane and Jake are still way younger than Nanna and Grandpa, so the hypothetical doesn't hit as hard for the other three beta kids)
Just like, I guess this was already to some degree a thought that is implicit with the existence of the alpha kids, but spending your late teen years and early adulthood getting close to a girl who Rose probably gained a more sisterly bond with, only to slowly watch her become the spitting image of the dead mother who neglected her, who she also regrets never bonding with must be some flavor of horrifying, right? But also maybe cathartic in a way?
I don't know, this just threw me out of it a little. I like the depiction of the adults looking like guardians when the story shifts to the pov of the children, kind of neat if they keep that up. I just also think that seeing Roxy look exactly like Mom Lalonde is such an interesting play because like. It makes sense, but thinking about how that would fuck with Rose's head a little is doing great things for me (<- person who makes everything about Rose). Extremely interesting
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arcadia345 · 8 months
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Astro notes💋🥀
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Just my observations :)🔞
♡ Scorpio mercury or degree is the definition of elephant in the room, it’s like they try their best to make you uncomfortable with their words , on the brighter side I love how deep their minds are
♡Saturn in the 6th/2nd could go a long time without eating and not even notice
♡ One of my friends had a baby today(Aries moon) and she’s already threatening people not to play with her child💀 cute tho
♡ I feel like the only Libra placement that doesn’t try to be likable is Libra moons, their personality is so lovely for the most part☺️ I’ve only met men with this placement and WHEW they are sooooooo charming🥴
♡ I’ve noticed guys with Venus conjunct their sun can come off a little ✨ even if they’re not they’re just in touch with their feminine side. Also guys with Venus conjunct moon could have this energy as well just more subtle
♡ Aquarius in 7th will always give black sheep energy, no matter how “popular” they are it’s always something that differentiates them from everyone else, could be known for doing questionable things
♡ Taurus season I see lots of people getting lip piercings but lots of new tats and piercings in general
♡ 11th house has to do with hopes and dreams, mars is your passion and drive, having mars in 11th synastry with someone with someone could mean having fantasy’s about them,being fwb, or being friends with someone but wanting to be more. Me and my friend both have this synastry and the tension is HIGH especially with her Jupiter conjunction to my mars🥴
♡It’s not surprise Saturn babies look soo good in slicked back hairstyles since it rules hair and restrictions
♡Also they weren’t joking when they said prominent Saturn placements could make you a pothead😳 I thought I was a smoker but whew they SMOKE 💨
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♡ Aries moon moms are so PUSHY. They’re always trying to dictate your emotions like your not your own human then get insecure when you cut contact with them. And she never takes your emotions seriously till you act out of character, It’s like she never wants you to rest so draining. Also they can be intimidating/scary in a way especially from the stories the Aries moon child shares about them😅 did they lie tho?
♡ Scorpio moons could also resonate but I feel like with Aries moms(sidereal Pisces moon)there’s a innocence to it like they truly don’t recognize their toxic traits until you confront them about it but with Scorpio moon’s mom (sidereal Libra moon) they KNOW exactly what they’re doing when they manipulate. And other people could easily alter ur mother’s perception of you, very wishywashy. They type to be jealous of their kids especially if they have a daughter
♡ Chiron in 12th could get accused of things they didn’t do allll the time , it gets to a point where they don’t even try to defend themselves anymore cause it’s like no one listens why waste your energy 😭 a good example is Micheal Jackson
♡ Gemini moon children have moms that don’t hold back🥴 very blunt especially with some Aries energy added
♡ I giggle every time I remember Park Jimin has a Gemini moon I just know he has the best comebacks and inside jokes😂 (Jimin if you’re seeing this let’s be friends plz😆)
♡ I’ve noticed with Virgo moons children may see one parent more fit to be a parent than the other at some point in their life. Doesn’t mean the other is a shitty parent or anything but if they had to decide to live with one of them they’ll already know who😹
♡ Also Virgo placements why do y’all constantly complain about something you could easily solve? I see this more in undeveloped Virgo placements
♡ Leo moon children could have mothers that are selfish in one way or another, wheither it be their time, money, or love
♡Jupiter in 3rd (natal and transit) what is home? I’ve been to so many places in my city that I didn’t know existed, I also got a 🍕 delivery job so I’m on the go all the time, but since my natal Jupiter is in my 8th it’s kinda a darker transit for me- I literally hit and ran two people in counting 😭 (I’m not even a bad driver they happened on the same week!🙄) communication especially over the phone has been vile omg the amount of times I’ve been cussed out by strangers otp is crazy. Also I’ve lost old friends /gained new one
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That’s all for now💋
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bioethicists · 9 months
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beer killed my father . he had a disease which destroyed his body and strained his relationships with his wife, his friends, and his children. Alcohol destroys everything it touches, theres a reason you see so many liquor stores in poor neighborhoods. don’t be fucking obtuse. Prohibition obviously doesn’t work, but I wish alcohol was taxed higher. And i want the CEO of Heineken on the guillotine right after Jeff Bezos.
before anything, i want to let you know that i am incredibly sorry about your father. alcohol has decimated entire generations of my family, played a crucial role in the neglectful family structure i spent the first 19 years of my life suffering under, + played a minor but not insignificant role in my brother's death. i would never undermine or dismiss that in anyone.
i used to feel very similarly to you, in large part because my mother is a recovering alcoholic who raised me to believe that alcohol is a magic poison which turns people into monsters + i, being her child, probably inherited a disease which would also turn me into a monster if i chose to drink. it's a deeply painful + understandable response to the pain that alcohol can cause.
my first question is, does alcohol really "destroy everything it touches"? are there not millions of people who engage with alcohol, in varying degrees of recreational use, who experience minimal or no negative impacts? or do you believe that everyone who drinks alcohol in any capacity is experiencing severe destruction in their lives as a result? does the existence of people for whom alcohol enriches their lives (or is a neutral presence) at all invalidate your experience, or your father's?
my second question is, you've identified that there are 'so many liquor stores in poor neighborhoods' (i would add there is a lot of alcohol in rich neighborhoods, just distributed in less stigmatized ways, like boutique wineries + fancy bars), do you think that companies are strategically attempting to create alcohol dependencies among poor people, or do you think that poverty creates the pain, hopelessness, + desperation which can fuel an alcohol habit (which is then exacerbated by intergenerational trauma + community alcohol culture).
i feel no allegiance to liquor companies- they absolutely do make the bulk of their profits off of people who are drinking in a way that is destroying their lives (unsure if i trust the exact scope of the research in that link but i trust the gist). however, liquor companies love the disease model, because it exempts them from responsibility. if alcoholism is truly a genetic disease, then liquor companies, bars, package stores hold no fault in the development of destructive drinking habits + community norms (natasha Schüll discusses this in her book about gambling addiction)- the people were already sick + would be getting it somewhere else, anyway, right? but as you have correctly identified, liquor companies help create the structures which turn alcohol use into an accessible + normalized mode of self-destruction.
my third question is, will taxing liquor help the real problem? yes, it reduces alcohol consumption, but does it reduce addiction? or does it make cheapskates like me say "i'm not fucking paying for that" while individuals who consume alcohol compulsively either eat the cost or turn to more illicit ways of obtaining alcohol. or, rephrased, is the problem that alcohol is too accessible? is alcohol a magical poison which turns 'normal' people into 'alcoholics'? alternatively, is alcoholism a genetic condition, unrelated to any outside circumstances, which is triggered by drinking?
or: is alcoholism one of many ways in which people who are experiencing hopelessness, pain, grief, poverty, trauma, etc use to numb themselves, harm themselves, + make life feel more bearable? at this point, i do believe there is at least a temperament factor which makes people more likely to use substances over other forms of escape (hence why my brother used substances while i turned to anorexia + do not struggle with substance use). are we actually addressing the problem if we make it more expensive (thus, mind you, further impoverishing people with alcohol addictions!)? or are we shifting the pain these people are experiencing to either other avenues (opioids, other drugs, totally different ways of coping which are often just as destructive) or an unregulated, underground alcohol market.
the way you are viewing alcohol, alcohol is a unique substance which is manufacturing or feeding illness in people in order to make them behave in ways which destroy their lives + the lives of others. the way i am viewing it, alcohol is a presence which can fill a void that is being created in people's lives as a response to structural, communal, or social suffering. when alcohol is painted as the cause of this pain, we are able to look the other way from a which world is structured to cause an immense amount of people to suffer needlessly. at the same time, the common sense observation that many of us engage with alcohol in ways which do not destroy our lives, as well as the knowledge that prohibition does not work, prevents the erasure of alcohol from public or private life.
who benefits from the belief that alcohol is a uniquely corrupting substance? what lessons did we actually learn from prohibition- is trying to do it to a lesser degree (make alcohol less accessible) actually going to do anything? when the price of opioids went up due to dea crackdowns, did people stop buying opioids or did the market flood with cheap + deadly fentanyl? is the problem that people are drinking or that they are suffering?
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bluespiritshonour · 2 months
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Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils
Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.
And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.
Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.
But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.
Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.
Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.
One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.
Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.
For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.
A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.
Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.
Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!
And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.
Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.
If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.
Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.
Azula had no one!
Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.
But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.
Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.
I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.
Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.
There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.
And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.
In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”
She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.
And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.
Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...
They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.
Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.
So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.
P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.
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hufflepuffwitchhh · 9 months
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we could get married {ominis gaunt x f!reader} {arranged marriage au}
summary: you met your new husband at the altar. he looks like he'd rather jump off a bridge than try and make this work.
request for the sweetheart that is @myrachondria who wanted an alternate arranged marriage au where ominis and reader fell in love AFTER the wedding
tws: arranged marriage, bad pureblood parenting and opinions, discussions and depictions of children, pregnancy, labour and parenthood, postpartum depression, smut, p in v, period typical treatment of women
everytime i do an arranged marriage fic, it turns into a deepdive into expectations of women at the time. maybe it's feminism, maybe it's two years of studying sociology.
unedited, lmk if u see the hp refs 😏
You didn't meet your new husband until your wedding day.
In fact, now that you think about it, you met his mother first.
The maids had been tying you into your wedding dress, pulling the corset strings tight to give you the visual of having the perfect hourglass figure. And then, without even a knock, despite the fact you were half dressed, your new mother-in-law to be came gliding in. Her aura was what you'd come to expect from the Gaunts. Cold, intimidating, and aloof. So when you saw her, your already shot nerves went into overdrive.
Why was she here? You can't have done something wrong already, you're not even married yet!
Lady Gaunt shooed the maids away, her slender hands taking hold of the strings of your dress. You had to admit, she pulled them much more delicately than the maids had. Your spine appreciated it.
"So. You're the little thing that will be marrying my Ominis, hm?"
Her Ominis? Merlin, you hoped she wasn't one of those overly attached mothers. That'd be just the cherry on the cake. An arranged marriage and a monster-in-law.
"Well, you're pretty enough. I've seen your grades from your NEWTS, so you're smart enough. Though, in truth, if you were neither of those things, you wouldn't even have made it to the altar."
That sent a shiver up your spine. You'd heard of the Gaunt reputation, of course. A reputation of cruelty. It was easy to imagine what might become of you, should they deem you worthless.
Lady Gaunt continued, paying no mind to your discomfort.
"I see only one reason why this marriage may not be as fruitful and successful as it should be. And that is my son."
What? Oh no, what's wrong with him?
That put you even more on edge. You were about to marry this man, after all. You didn't want to be told that he wouldn't be a good husband.
"Unfortunately, my Ominis has some outlandish ideas about blood purity. He cares little for the importance of continuing the bloodline of Salazar himself. And he cares even less for making sure that the mother of his children has the kind of lineage needed to keep our family pure. So as you imagine, he is quite against this marriage. He'll be hard to win round. But you must do so. Understand?"
Oh.
It was incredible, the way this woman was telling you the best possible thing you could hear about your husband, yet she was saying it as if it was a terrible skeleton in her family's closet. In fact, this was about the only thing anyone had said so far that made you not dread this wedding.
You knew what you were expected to say next. And it wasn't even a lie. You just weren't saying it for the reason she thought you were.
"Of course, my lady. I will endeavour to make sure mine and your son's marriage is a satisfactory one."
She smiled, and you knew you'd said the right thing.
-
Less than half an hour later, you were gliding down the aisle towards your fiancé, soon to be husband. And he wasn't even facing you.
To be fair, you knew he was blind. You obviously weren't expecting him to be watching you come down the aisle. But you certainly hadn't expected him to completely have his back turned to you either, not even acknowledging your existence.
His best man, however, was looking at you. There was no trace of happiness for his friend on his freckled face. Just mere curiosity. It made you feel odd. Like an animal in a zoo. Though it did please you when he leaned into Ominis' ear and whispered loudly that you were quite pretty.
Finally, the long walk was over, and you were at the altar with Ominis. And now that you could see his face, you could see that he was utterly displeased with this entire situation. It irritated you a little, despite being forewarned by his mother. You weren't thrilled about this either, but at least you weren't sulking and pouting about it publicly, in front of all your family and friends.
The two of you stumbled through your vows, and when Ominis said 'I do', it sounded more like he was signing himself up for some sort of suicide mission.
Okay. So maybe, just maybe, you overestimated how easy it would be to bring your new husband around.
-
The reception was equally as awkward. Your groom's best man took it upon himself to tell tales of how much Ominis had been dreading this. Your maid of honour, your darling cousin, could say nothing about what a love story you'd had, so instead, she uncomfortably listed off every accomplishment you'd ever achieved, until you were blushing and hiding your face behind your veil in embarrassment.
The first dance was you and Ominis alone, waltzing to some classical song. Ominis held you as far away as was physically possible while still being able to say he was dancing with you. You'd thrown your bouquet a little too far, and had hit your new father-in-law in the face. Though you considered that a slight win, as the choked noise he made was the only thing that had made Ominis smile that day.
And then it got to the end of the night, and you and Ominis were shoved off into a carriage to your honeymoon. The men were shouting raunchy things and advice to your new husband, while the women called out for you to enjoy your honeymoon.
Finally, you and Ominis were alone. It was time to try and get to know your husband.
"Well. Thank Merlin that's over, hm?" You spoke, hoping that a shared hatred of your wedding day would maybe encourage bonding.
It did not. Ominis merely made a 'hmph' noise, and closed his eyes. His breathing steadied out a few minutes later, and you didn't know the man enough to know if he was genuinely asleep or if he was pretending so he didn't have to speak to you. Whichever it was, he didn't open his eyes again until the carriage driver called back that you had arrived in St. Ives.
Ominis had swept out of the carriage, his wand ahead of him in that way you'd have to become accustomed to, and went right up the stairs. Meanwhile, you were tripping over your wedding dress trying to get out, until a kind maid stepped forward to put you out of your misery, untangling you and helping you out.
By the time you'd followed into your family's seaside home, the footmen informed you Ominis had decided to go for a walk around the town. Without you.
And so, the first night of your marriage was spent with you taking off your own wedding dress, and crawling into your marital bed alone.
-
The rest of your honeymoon went in quite the same fashion. You would attempt to hunt down Ominis. He would be several steps ahead of you, leaving the house at the crack of dawn, returning long after you'd gone to sleep. It seemed your new husband was something of a phantom, slipping in and out of your shared holiday home at will, paying no mind to how his new wife felt about the matter.
Though to be fair, you were used to people disregarding your feelings. That was how you'd ended up in this marriage, after all.
-
You didn't have your first proper interaction with your husband until you'd returned back to London.
Both of your parents had decided that your wedding was an excellent opportunity to host a celebration of the event (wasn't that what the wedding was for?), and as the guests of honour, you and Ominis were to be on each other's arms all night.
So you'd put on your nicest dress, a nice black, velvet, floor length number that suited your body type wonderfully. You'd strung some Gaunt family heirloom around your neck, a large locket with an 'S' embedded into it. And last of all, you'd let the maids mess with your hair and make up until you looked stunning. You would most certainly be catching eyes.
When it came time for the event to start, you and Ominis met at the top of the grand staircase.
Ominis, loathe as you were to admit it after such negligence on your honeymoon, looked wonderful. His suit was the same black velvet material as your dress, with a green bowtie. His father had given him his heirloom for the night, an intricate gold band with a black stone atop it. He looked almost... princely.
You hated it.
You should be thrilled to be married to this handsome, elegant man. And instead, every time you looked at him, you just felt sad. Sad that he didn't even bother to notice you. To try and get to know you. To even tolerate existing in the same space as you, unless he was absolutely forced to.
The man in question distracted you from your self-pity with a slight nudge. The music to queue you two in had begun. You slid your arm around his reluctantly, putting a fake smile on your lips as the two of you began to descend the staircase slowly, you waving elegantly at faces you recognised.
Eventually, you reached where your and Ominis' parents stood at the bottom of the staircase, slipping into place beside them.
Both of your fathers began the usual grandstanding speeches. Blah blah blah, two great families have been united, blah blah blah, soon you'll pop out a child.
It took everything in you not to roll your eyes at every word.
Once they were done, you were set free from your captivity at the front of the room. And you, of course, made a beeline to your beloved cousin, by the refreshment table.
Your favourite part of any event was standing with her, absolutely slandering anyone and everyone. The two of you were worse than a scandal sheet. Now that you were reunited, the bitching could begin.
"I'm not sure if Lady Black's hair is supposed to look like that, or if a bird nested in it on her way here. If so, I feel sorry for the poor bird." You casually said to your cousin, and then promptly heard someone choking on their drink behind you.
You turned to see your dear husband, red faced and coughing, and you went just as red. You rushed to hit him on the back.
"I'm so sorry, that was extremely unladylike of me! I hope you don't think less of me, it's merely an old joke between my cousin and I!"
Brilliant. Now you've done it. The one time your husband had heard you speak in a casual manner, and it was a bitter takedown of a woman he was likely distantly related to. At this rate, you'd be divorced by the end of the month.
Eventually, Ominis started coughing. And then he started laughing. And laughing. And laughing some more. He was actually starting to catch attention at this point, which made you glance around anxiously. Heaven forbid someone come over and ask what he was in hysterics over. Lady Black would probably use the Killing Curse on you on the spot.
Once he'd settled, he smiled at you. Actually smiled! You were glad to learn that Ominis looked even more handsome when he smiled. Then, he settled in between you and your cousin, beginning to offer his own critiques on your guests. And Merlin, he was ruthless.
"Lord Greengrass over there, I don't know if you ladies have ever had a conversation with him? Well, if you had, you'd know there are broomsticks more intelligent than him. And more eloquent, now that I think about it too." He said casually, a smirk on his face.
You promptly snorted in a very unflattering manner, and his smirk became a grin.
"That was a lovely noise." He chuckled, laughing louder when you swatted his arm with the back of your hand.
The three of you traded banter for the next few minutes, until your cousin excused herself with a wink at you. That left just you and Ominis, shoulders pressed against each other as you whispered jokes to one another.
All seemed to be going well, until your mother announced that the newlyweds would be engaging in a dance together, and you felt Ominis stiffen beside you.
As strange as it was to say, you wondered if the banter had taken him away from the situation the two of you were in. And it seemed the reminder, courtesy of this awful event, had brought him back to reality, taking his good mood with him.
You took his hand cautiously, hoping he wouldn't react badly. When he didn't snatch his hand back, you let out a sigh of relief, leading him to the centre of the ballroom. His hands went to your waist and your shoulder, and you quickly took up your position as well. Much like your wedding day, he was holding you at arms length, and you quickly searched for a way to make him more at ease.
"Do you think we can find a way to get your father to make that weird noise again? The one he did at the wedding, when I hit him with my flowers?"
It worked, thankfully. Ominis' face lit up with a sly grin, pulling you closer to speak lowly by your ear.
"If I get one of the centrepieces in your hands, do you think you could pull off that shot again?"
You smirked back.
"I can certainly try."
-
After the night of the ball, you and Ominis slipped into a friendly state of cohabitation.
What with you both being in your early twenties, and you know, married, you'd agreed finally that a civil relationship was likely the best option for a life that would be at least somewhat bearable.
Admittedly, you were much happier.
It was nice to be in a house where you weren't just wandering around alone any more. Though the house was awfully quiet when Ominis went to work. And when you mentioned potentially getting a job to your mother and mother-in-law, they both laughed in your face, telling you that's not how things were done.
So you had a lot of free time in those hours when Ominis was out. And with free time, came stupid ideas.
Such as the idea that you wanted a baby.
Which, you knew, was not something you should do just to have a hobby. But you'd always loved children, always volunteering to take care of the little ones in your family. You'd always imagined yourself with a big family of your own, several children following you around, that you could raise into actual people.
And you knew, between you and Ominis, you could raise good people. The both of you had discussed your distaste for the ideals of blood purity, for the childhoods you'd both been brought up with, and the decisions that had been forced upon you. The both of you wouldn't make the same mistakes as your parents. Your children would be happy and adored.
There was a selfish side to it as well though, in truth.
Ominis was handsome. Very handsome. You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like, should he start... exercising his husbandly privileges with you. You think he'd be good at it. He had such long fingers, and he moved so gracefully, and sometimes, he would dart his tongue out to lick at his lips. It made you squirm in your chair, to think of him using such talents for your pleasure.
After some careful consideration, you decided to broach the topic with him.
-
It took you about a month to work up the courage. It was a month of you two getting closer, at least. So hopefully, he'd be more likely to say yes. Emphasis on the hopefully.
You cornered him in the library, one rainy night. He was in the big armchair by the fireplace, his fingers drifting across one of his Braille books. You really did want to learn that, you thought to yourself. But that was a thought for later. You were putting off the real matter at hand.
Taking a seat cross-legged in front of the roaring fire, you softly called Ominis' name. He knew you were there, of course. His other senses were uncanny to make up for the loss of vision.
He glanced up from his book, his fingers slowing to a stop as he raised an eyebrow. You didn't often seek him out so late.
"Yes, my dear wife?"
You really needed to find a way to stop blushing every time he called you his wife.
Taking a second to compose yourself, you began your pre-planned speech which she hoped would convince Ominis to see things your way.
“I’m aware we haven’t been married long, and that we’re still getting to know each other. But I wanted to speak to you about something that I want very much. Of course, you’re free to say no and I won’t hold it against you, but if I don’t at least ask, I’ll never even get a chance at a yes, will I?”
You stopped for a moment after your babbling was done, then finally spit it out.
“I would like to try for a baby.”
Ominis’ eyes widened and his jaw fell open.
“Pardon? Did I hear that right? You want to try for a child?”
Letting out a noise of affirmation, you continued with the argument you’d spent the last month crafting. You’d be damned if you didn’t at least get heard out before he turned you down.
“One of the main things you said you were concerned about was that your children would be brought up the same way you were. But we’ve spoken about this. We don’t hold the same stupid views our parents do. We’re not cruel people. Our children would be loved, and safe, and they would know the importance of treating others with respect regardless of their blood status. We’ll teach our children that their family name will never be more important than their own happiness, or other people. We’ll be better than our parents were to us, because we know firsthand the pain the traditional pureblood method of parenting brings.”
Ominis’ face was unreadable, but he hadn’t interrupted to completely shut you down, so you powered ahead.
“Also, I have to admit… this is something that’s very important to me. I’ve always wanted children. Even when I was a pre-teen, I’d jump at the chance to babysit, because I just liked doing it. And at the moment, I feel quite… lost. I discussed getting a job with our mothers and got told quite clearly that it wasn’t an option. I feel as though having a child would give me a purpose. Not that I mean I want a child to cure my boredom. I merely mean that nothing would make me happier than to have a child, our child, who I could love and care for and help shape into a good person. It would bring me a great deal of fulfilment.”
Well, that was everything you had to say on the matter. All you could do now was wait for Ominis to process all this and let you into whatever was going on in that clever mind of his.
He was silent for a few minutes, before he spoke finally.
“I agree with what you said about raising them. We will be better parents than our parents were. And I understand how you feel about having children. I can see that’s something that’s very important to you, and I’d never dismiss that. But there is one more concern I wish to discuss before I’d feel comfortable making a decision on this matter.”
You looked up at him from your spot on the floor, wondering what else could be worrying him.
“My blindness. It is possible that it could be passed down to our children, should we have them. Would you be prepared to take the chance our child would have my condition? Would you be prepared to make the adjustments needed should that come to pass?”
That hadn’t even been a consideration for you, though you supposed you were in the position that you’d never had to consider before that your child may have a condition that would impact every aspect of their life. Despite not having thought of it before, your answer came easily to you.
“Absolutely. I don’t intend to be the kind of parent that makes their love conditional. If our child did inherit your condition, I would do anything needed to make sure they had anything they needed. I admit, I may not always know or consider immediately the kind of adjustments that may need to be made, but I’m more than willing to learn. And if you’d be willing to help with that, I would be honoured to do so. That’s the case even if we don’t have a blind child. I want your life with me to be as easy and comfortable as possible too. If there’s anything I can do to help make our home and our lifestyle better for you, please tell me.”
Ominis’ face relaxed at that. You were cautiously optimistic about that, but not ready to get your hopes up quite yet.
“This is quite a big decision. A life-changing decision, in fact. I need some time to think about this, make sense of how I feel about it.”
You agreed readily. It took you a month to even be able to ask him, and you were the one who definitely wanted the child. It was understandable that Ominis, who’d essentially just had this dropped on him, would need a while to think about it.
You could wait.
-
You’d been waiting a while now.
Your first wedding anniversary had come and gone, and still, not a word from Ominis about that question you’d asked him so many months ago. At this point, you’d just accepted that he probably had decided he wasn’t ready, and didn’t want to disappoint you by telling you. So you’d thrown yourself into hobbies, since your families were still firm on you not being at work.
You read a lot. Tried to learn instruments and languages. Picked up (and admittedly, abandoned) many different kinds of creative hobbies.
Some of those, you’d kept up, finding a passion for them. The others, you’d realised were not for you, and were more than willing to leave them be. It was nice, you thought, to have so much time to pursue anything and everything you might be interested in. But despite having things to absorb yourself in, it hadn’t lessened the craving in you to be a parent.
In fact, the months you’d spent with your husband had worsened that urge. The more you came to know him, the more you became certain that this was the man you wanted to be the father of your children. Ominis was kind, patient, and devoted to those he cared for. He remembered the things you liked and gave you gifts related to them. He taught you to read Braille like you wanted, and would ask you to teach him things he saw you do he found interesting.
In summary; you’d started to develop a little bit of a crush on your husband. But you were fairly certain he only saw you as a friend at best, as the woman he was stuck with at worst.
What a strange, strange dilemma you were in. Most people would be thrilled to like their spouse. And here you were, stressing over it like it was the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
-
After sixteen months of marriage, Ominis finally concluded the conversation you’d left on hold so many months ago now.
The two of you were sitting at the dinner table after eating, you working on your knitting, him fumbling with a kalimba you’d abandoned months ago, when he said it.
“You know, after a lot of consideration, I think I’m ready for a child.”
You let out a squeak of pain as you promptly stabbed yourself with your knitting needle in shock.
Once Ominis had fussed over your finger like the mother hen he tended to be, you returned to the topic at hand.
“You really mean that? You actually do want to have children? Now?”
He nodded patiently, a small smile on his face.
“I know I took a while to answer you, but I wanted to ensure I thought this through fully. But you were right in what you said. We’ll be good parents. I do want children, and a petty part of me wants to raise them in a way my parents hate, because then I’ll know I’ve done it right. And if they were to inherit my blindness, I feel confident that we’d be able to handle it as a team. So, yes. I’m ready if you are.”
Instead of responding verbally, you flung your arms around Ominis’ neck, tugging him closer. On thinking back, you realised this was probably the most contact the two of you had ever had. That would change soon enough, you thought with a blush, if you were to have a child together.
Ominis’ mind seemed to be going the same place, based on the light flush spreading across his pale cheeks.
“You are aware though, that if we are to have a child, we will have to be… intimate. More than once, likely. Is that something you’re comfortable with?”
You let out a quiet yes, feeling a sudden rush of shyness, and he smiled back, seemingly just as nervous.
“Would you maybe… like to start trying now? Or is that too sudden?”
Your enthusiastic agreement burst out before you could control it, and the familiar feeling of embarrassment came right after. Luckily for you, Ominis was too focused on managing his own blush to notice.
After a moment’s hesitation, he intertwined his fingers with yours, leading you up to the master bedroom. Seeing him in this room was a strange sight, even though it was always intended to be shared with him. Since your wedding, you’d resided in this room alone, while Ominis had taken up the guest bedroom closest to the office and the library.
Then, for the first time in your marriage, he leaned forward and kissed you.
It was a gentle kiss, his soft lips moving against yours slowly and hesitantly.
The two of you had never kissed at your wedding, but while this was your first kiss with Ominis, it wasn’t your first kiss ever. You thought it might have been the sweetest though, but you may have been biased based on how much you were starting to care for this man.
Those elegant hands of his came to rest on your waist, pulling you closer until your chest was flush with his. Your hands came up to hold onto his shoulders, and the entire moment was just… nice, as simple as that was to say. It was just a very nice, soft moment.
The two of you stayed like that for a while, just kissing, but the feeling of him against you started to make you feel warm, like you needed something. And while you may have been inexperienced in this situation, you were fairly sure what you needed.
Pulling away from Ominis, the only thing that left your lips was a whispered ‘please’.
He didn’t need you to elaborate.
His hands still holding your waist, he walked you backwards slowly until your legs hit the bed, making you sit instinctively. You kept moving back until you were near the head of the bed, watching as he began to crawl onto the bed after you, his pace painful. Eventually, your head was pressed against the pillows with Ominis supporting his weight above you.
Eyes not leaving yours, he began to unlace your house dress. Once you were free of the ties and fastenings, he slipped it off you and you pushed the fabric off the bed to the floor. He let out a pleased hum as he started to trace your body, finding it bare beneath the dress. As he began to map your skin, you worked at his shirt, slipping it off his pale shoulders. You shouldn’t have been surprised to see the constellations of beauty marks on his torso, but it made your mouth go dry with desire regardless.
Ominis pulled back to remove his trousers and underclothes, letting them fall around his ankles and stepping out of them. Within a moment, he was back above you, but this time, he clearly intended to leave no space between the two of you.
Using one arm to balance himself against the mattress, his other came around your back to lift you slightly so you were pressed against him. The feeling of your breasts pressing against his warm chest made you shiver, letting out a soft sigh of pleasure.
The two of you hadn’t even properly started, yet you couldn’t help but wonder why you both hadn’t been doing this for the entirety of your marriage.
Ominis’ head dipped to kiss you again, his tongue nervously darted out to trace your lips until you opened them, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Once your tongues touched, it spurred you both on, and Ominis reached down to take himself in hand. Somehow, you hadn’t looked down through all this, and the movement drew your attention. The view made your eyes widen in surprise.
You’d never seen one before. You didn’t think they were supposed to be pretty. But Merlin. Ominis’ was pretty. It was long, and slender, which made sense because that’s how Ominis was, every inch of him. And the head of it seemed to be blushing, a soft pink colour not dissimilar from the one on his cheeks right now. The very tip was beaded with a pearly white dot of fluid, and you couldn’t help but tilt your head in fascination as you watched the bead begin to trickle down the length of him in a way that made your tongue itch to trace after it.
Your visual exploration was cut short by your husband clearing his throat softly. Clearly, he’d noticed your admiration, but was ready to move to the next part. You couldn’t agree more.
Leaning forward to kiss him again, Ominis reached down again to grip his length, pumping it to spread the fluid at the top so it coated him fully. Ominis appeared to be surprisingly adept at all this. You knew he’d never done this either. Perhaps he’d asked his loud friend for advice.
That train of thought got stopped in its tracks when you felt Ominis guide himself closer, his tip nudging against your entrance. He let out a shuddering breath as he felt the wetness there, his forehead coming down to press against yours.
“Can I? Please?”
You nodded, knowing he’d feel the movement of your head against his, and your toes curled a little as he began to push that deliciously long length into you. Once his hips were flush with yours, the coarse blonde hair at the base of him almost tickling you, both of you stopped completely.
All that could be heard in the room was the heavy breathing coming from both of you, pressed against each other in every place you could be.
And then Ominis’ hips pulled back until he was barely inside you any more, pushing back forward. The sensation of him moving so slowly was the ultimate tease, and you brought your lips to his again, hoping that it would encourage him the way it did earlier. And it did. His hips snapped against yours almost instinctively, and you let out a moan before he could apologise. Your noises opened the floodgates, and soon, his pace was steady and relentless.
All you could do was bury your head into his neck as he thrusted, letting out muffled cries into his heated skin.
You felt so close to something. You didn’t know what, but it felt good. You just needed a little more.
Then those lovely long fingers were rubbing circles just above where you were joined, and you were chanting his name as you went over the edge. You’d never felt anything like it. Why were people not doing this constantly? Was this why married couples had a honeymoon? So they could have some time to do this as much as possible, to get it out of their systems before they were expected to behave like normal, functioning members of society? Whatever the answer to those questions were, you didn’t care because all that mattered was Ominis and the amazing feeling he was giving you right now.
The way you were clenching around him as you rode out your high soon had Ominis following you in your release, and the sensation of him filling you up had your eyes rolling back into your head. He took a moment to catch his breath, before pulling out, leaving you with the sense that you were empty. Then he pressed an affectionate kiss to your forehead, before rolling to the side and collapsing onto his back beside you.
-
Now that the two of you had started, it was impossible for you both to stop.
Ominis had a good day at work? Sex to celebrate. Ominis had a bad day at work? Sex to cheer him up. You’d finished a project you were working on? Sex to celebrate. You felt understimulated? Sex to cure your boredom. The two of you were insatiable.
It wasn’t a shock that you were with child by winter, but it made you both incredibly happy nonetheless.
-
Ominis absolutely doted on you during your pregnancy.
He’d been in your bedroom more often since you’d begun being intimate, but once the baby was on the way, he asked to move in there officially for the duration of your pregnancy. It took a while to get used to having another person in your bed with you for a whole night, but it didn’t take long for the two of you to figure out a routine. Ominis was a light sleeper, and you were increasingly restless, so you worked out a system where he would hold you close and soothe you to sleep, and his embrace stopped you from moving and waking him up. Inevitably, his hand would always come to trace circles on your growing stomach.
He was at your beck and call for anything you needed. If you had a craving, he was pulling his shoes and coat on to go and fetch it for you, no matter the time. On the rare occasions he had to stay away for a while for work, he would send owls constantly. If you mentioned wanting anything in your letters, you’d soon find a grumpy Sebastian at your door, with said item in his hands.
On a night, he would slide down the bed until he was level with your swollen belly and read stories to your child. Often, he would read the Tales of Beedle the Bard. His favourite was the ‘Fountain of Fair Fortune’, though you were fond of the ‘Deathly Hallows’. Ominis said it was too dark for a little one, but he’d read it to you without fail regardless. Once he’d finished his nightly book, he’d stay down there a while, whispering to the baby in a low tone you couldn’t hear. You were more than happy to let him have his one on one daddy-bump time. You got the baby all the time at the moment anyway.
And when it eventually came time for the birth, he refused to leave your side despite the protests of his father and the doctors. He was determined to be there. The most comforting part was that you knew he wasn’t just there for the baby, he was there to support you. Your labour was long and intense, lasting over a day. He left your side as little as possible, only to attend to basic needs or to fetch something for you.
At the end of it all, your little boy was placed into his arms. Tears trailed down his cheeks silently as his fingertips trailed over your son’s delicate features so softly it made you cry even more. The pair of you spent the rest of the night in your shared bedroom, laid on the bed together with your new tiny baby between you both. You told him all about how much your son looked like him, and he started a playful debate about who’s nose he had. You swore it was Ominis’, while Ominis was convinced it felt the exact same as yours did. You called it a truce when your laughter got a little too loud, and the baby let out a little cry, sending you both into panicked new parent mode.
The pair of you agreed to call him Luc, based on the Latin word for 'light', because you were both in total agreement that he was the light of your lives.
Neither of you mentioned the fact that technically, he was supposed to move back in the guest bedroom now the baby was here. He stayed by your side every night the same as he did before.
And after all he’d done for you over the past nine months, you couldn’t deny it to yourself anymore. You were in love with your husband. But you didn’t know if he loved you back, or if he could, considering how against you he’d been at the start. You weren’t willing to admit it and risk your new bliss, so you’d have to live with never knowing.
-
Being a mother was hard.
You were fortunate in that you could afford maids and cooks to take the workload of the housework off you.
But your little one was extremely colicky, and he would cry for hours, and nothing would stop him. You would spend your days closed up in the nursery, trying desperately to soothe him, and he just would not stop wailing.
Often, as soon as Ominis left the house and you went to your son, you would cry alongside him. You were so tired, and achy, and your postpartum hormones were raging wild within you. You loved Luc more than life itself, but you were just so sad. You knew you should speak to Ominis about it, but a little voice in the back of your head was insistent that he’d be so disappointed in you.
You were the one who’d wanted this baby. You said you could handle caring for him during the day while Ominis was at work. You shunned the idea of nannies because you were so certain you could do this alone. You’d made your bed, and as far as you were concerned, you were merely going to have to suck it up and lie in it.
-
Today had been bad.
Your little love had been screaming, quite literally, for the past three hours straight. You'd had him in your arms the whole time, walking back and forth in nursery as you hummed mindlessly through your tears.
You were so tired.
Every time Luc cried on a night, you were up at his side to tend to him before the noise could wake Ominis. It felt unfair that he would have to work and pick up your slack as a mother. When he'd laughed about how you'd both lucked out by having an infant that slept through the night so well, you'd smiled back faintly, hoping he didn't notice you didn't respond.
In your weepy, sleep-deprived state, you failed to pay attention to the time. Or the front door opening and Ominis calling out to you.
So it made you let out a yelp of surprise when you heard him say your name from the doorway in a concerned tone.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Being asked that made you cry harder for some reason. You slid down to the floor, Luc in your arms, crying just as hard. Like mother, like son, you supposed.
Ominis was by your side in an instant, taking the baby and pressing him to his chest. He slid his free arm around you, pulling you closer until your head was resting on his shoulder. His long fingers stroked through your hair soothingly until your sobs abated to little sniffles before he finally spoke again.
"What's going on, dearest? I've never seen you get upset like this, not even after two years of marriage."
And just like that, you told him everything. How sad you felt, how hard it was to handle Luc, how you felt ashamed to ask for help because you should be able to do it alone. He listened to it all patiently, his hand on your hair never faltering.
"Darling, we're in this together. We agreed that we'd work together to raise Luc, not that you'd do this all by yourself while I worked. And you taking care of him during the day is just as hard work as what I do during the day. It's not fair on yourself to expect yourself to be the perfect mother. You've never done this before, and even if you had, you're only human."
You nodded into his shoulder as he spoke. Hearing his voice saying these things downed out the little self-doubting one in the back of your head that said you were a failure.
He kept going, promising he would start working from home some days, that he'd help you find a nanny so you could have some breaks, making you swear to let him get Luc on a night when he could so you could catch up on the sleep so desperately needed. He also made you promise to see a healer about how you were feeling, to see if anything could be done.
By the time Ominis had finished speaking, Luc had fallen quiet. The combination of the rare silence and getting things off your chest had you the most optimistic you'd been in weeks.
Taking advantage of the sleeping baby, Ominis ran you a bath. Once you were happily settled in the hot bubbly water, his hands ran through your hair once more, cleaning it and massaging your scalp in a way that made you melt.
As soon as you were all clean, he wrapped you in your comfiest nightclothes, scooping you up to put you in your still-shared bed. He pulled the covers up over you, and as he did, he dipped his head to give you a soft kiss.
"I love you. I don't think I've told you that before, but I really, truly do. As loath as I am to admit it, the best thing my parents have ever done for me is arrange this marriage, because now I have you."
You mumbled it back sleepily, and as you watched him settle beside you and begin to read, all you could think before you fell asleep was that this marriage had turned out far better than just 'satisfactory'.
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guardarecheluna · 3 months
Text
I'd do anything for smiles, i'd move heaven and earth.
Authors note: Hiiii! Uhh, so this turned-out way more angsty and emotional than I planned, which is probably what happened when I just go with the flow and write instead of trying to plan it all out beforehand. But I really enjoyed writing this piece, so let me know your thoughts! Love, Elle x.
Word count: ca 4k words
Warnings: Angst, fluff, talk about babies and pregnancy
Summary: Harry wants a family with Y/N, actually, he wants nothing else. Y/N isn’t so sure about the whole baby thing, until everything changes.
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Y/N never wanted to be a mother. She was mother enough to her siblings growing up, and she knew; if there was ever a want to have a child, it would be an already existing child who needed a home.
Harry on the other hand always knew that it was his calling to be a father. He had this constant baby fever, always agreeing to babysit his friend’s children and tending to their little ones. No wonder he had an abundance of godsons and goddaughters at the ripe age of 26.
He also knew he wanted children with Y/N, almost the minute he caught her eyes at that birthdayparty, but 3 months into their relationship, they still hadn’t talked about if there was a possibility of children in the future.
Y/N had grown up being told that having children was the ultimate goal in life. She’d been told stories about how rewarding it was, how much love you got to give and receive, and how all the newborn sleepless nights was going to be worth it. She always smiled at the comments, knowing she’d never feel that way.
Her mother always told her that she had been the same when she was younger, but then when she had met Y/N and her siblings father, she just wanted to give him a baby. Almost like her biology and nature was playing a bigger part than her conscious. Her mother had told her that Y/N was going to know when she’d met the right man, that she would know that she loved him, because she would want to give him a child that was half her and half him, but Y/N doesn’t think she’s ever heard anything more ridiculous in her life.
Don’t get Y/N wrong, she loved children, and they loved her just as much, it was just that she couldn’t picture her life surrounded by another tiny human being. Taking care of them constantly, them always needing her in one way or another, hovering ang clinging on to her. Y/N was out of breath just listening to people talk about children.
3 months into Harry and Y/N’s relationship
Harry had agreed to babysit Scout; Sarah and Mitch’s baby. Just for a few hours while they got some things done that would be at least 10 times more difficult with a needy baby around. Scout isn’t a baby really, at 13 months old, but Harry would never admit that fact to anyone.
Harry was on the carpet of his own apartment, laying on his stomach, looking at Scout who was currently stacking cubes to make a tall tower. Harry had absolute hearts in his eyes for this baby. Looking at the small blonde boy, Harry released a sigh he had been holding when Scouts tower of blocks finally held up and was steady enough not to fall over. “Look at you, Scout! Your tower is so tall!” Harry exclaimed, impressed at his godson’s work, and expecting Scout to push the tower over, and starting his project once again. Instead, Scout looked up with his bright blue eyes and walked over to Harry, who was now sitting up. Scout threw himself right in Harry’s arms, giggling and babbling something to him with his teethy grin.
Harry felt like he could cry. Melt into a little puddle on the living room floor, just a wet spot in the carpet for Y/N to mop up when she got home. “You’re too good to me” Harry said once again when Scout regained his balance and started over with his blocks again.
Harry placed his large hand over the baby’s back, strong him gently to let him know that he was still behind him. Scout had blonde little locks ending just at the nape of his neck, and a stylish little outfit on, he looked almost like a little old man. Harry curiously continued watching Scout playing, reacting to his towers and stacking, now and then running his hand trough Scout’s blond locks. Yeah, he could get used to this.
Y/N’s footsteps were heavy, coming through up the stairs to Harry’s house, and in over the doorstep. Her shoulder was aching with her massive tote bag carrying around everything she could possibly need for a workday – she just wanted to cuddle up at home, with Harry.
She heard giggles from the lounge as she took of her shoes. Simultaneously smiling and being slightly annoyed at the unwelcome guest, she was just so tired.
She walked through the hall until she arrived at the lounge. Two messy looking boys looked up at her in surprise, seeming very invested In building some kind of tower with building blocks.
“Hi my darlings!” Y/N put a smile on. She really couldn’t stay annoyed with Scout in the room, he just had this incredible vibe to him, it was impossible not to get in a good mood around him. “What a lovely surprise to come home to.” Y/N continues, settling down next to Scout and Harry. Although, just by looking at Harry, Y/N knew he was in baby-mode. A constant smile on his pink lips, eyes barely leaving Scout for a second.
Scout was happy to see Y/N, leaving his blocks for a minute to get some cuddles in from one of his favourites. Harry also leaned in for a kiss, smile still on his lips, putting his arms around them both and nuzzling baby Scout’s forehead with his own. Yeah, he was going to get used to this.
Later that evening, full of homemade pasta and wine, Harry and Y/N cuddled up on their sofa, Scout having left with his parents hours ago. Harry had waved him off and was throwing kisses to him as Mitch walked out with Scout in his arms.
“What’s with you, today?” Y/N whispered softly to Harry, lips ghosting over his jaw, leaving wet kisses along the stubble. Harry’s cheeks instantly flushed, feeling a word vomit consisting of love, babies and the future coming up his throat. He thought about babies way too often, and of course, he was still young and had many years to plan his family, however, when he looked at Scout and Y/N cuddling earlier in the afternoon, he knew he had to let it spill out how much he wanted a baby at some point.
“I just…” Harry trailed off, looking at the ceiling to try and calm his beating heart, knowing that with Y/N’s soft kisses on his jaw, it was going to be impossible. He continued, “Seeing you and Scout cuddling and playing today was just…you’re it for me. And I can’t fucking wait until we have one of our own. A little mix of you and me, I can’t imagine a more perfect thing even If I tried.” Y/N felt her blood run cold at his comment. He had taken for granted that they were going to have children one day, and she was going to have to break his heart with what she was going to say next. She felt cruel, also aware of how many women on this earth who would kill to have Harry say that to them.
She had been quiet for far too long now, frozen up in Harry’s tight embrace. She realized that it was no use for her to say anything else but the truth.
“Harry, we haven’t even spoken about having children. I…I’m not sure I want that for our future.” She spoke gently, knowing that this may break his heart into microscopic pieces, his feelings for her turning to absolute dust and flying off to an unknown destination.
It was Harry’s turn to freeze up. He could feel tears burn in his eyes, jaw aching at those simple words. She didn’t want to have a baby. She didn’t want to have a baby with him. Harry truly couldn’t imagine a worse scenario for himself. He had found the love of his life, but she didn’t want children. Harry knew better at this point in his life than to just keep it to himself. Bottle up his needs and feelings and bury then deep, deep underground. But right know, in this situation, he didn’t know what to do besides breathing deep and calming his becoming tears. “Dove, I, what do you mean you don’t want it? Not right now or not ever? C-cause I didn’t mean right now, I just-“. He babbled out, eyes still focused on the ceiling, knowing that if he looked at her, he’d break into pieces.
He awaited her answer with a sweat forming on his brow, hands clammy as they tried to hold on to her as well as he could, but metaphorically, he could feel her slip away from him already. “Not right now. And probably not at all.”
The tears he had held onto fell.
1 year later
Harry really hadn’t expected to become so emotional about their conversation from a year ago, he blamed it on his emotions running high from when he babysat Scout earlier that day.
Harry didn’t let Y/N see his tears that night, everything was still new between them, and after that night, they had both agreed that they would talk about it another day.
But the thing is, the thought of Y/N never wanting a baby with Harry, absolutely killed him. It was like ever since that day, he had a grey little cloud above his head, having her words wash over him like the high tide at any point of the day.
Harry knew he couldn’t hate her if she didn’t want children. He knew that some people just didn’t want children, and he would have to accept it, even though the thought of not having his own family was aching in his bones.
He knew that if this continued on, he would have to choose between staying with her, the love of his life, but probably never having children, and leaving her, knowing that he could have a family of his own, but never with the only person that he wanted that with. At this point, all the thoughts were swirling in his head, causing a migraine. It always turned out this way, and none of the options he considered was making him happy. He loved her so much. So much that he could barely breathe when he looked at her. He hadn’t been in love before he met her, and he was in love the moment she met eyes with him. She was everything, but this couldn’t continue any longer.
Harry felt all his emotions from that day resurface when he entered his bedroom, Y/N laying cuddled up on his bed, freshly showered, with her nose in one of his books he had recommended to her. As he stepped inside, his breathing was shaky, and from that point on, he couldn’t hold it together for even a minute longer.
Y/N looked up at him, confused with the sudden rush of emotions in the room. She opened up the duvet for him, and he crashed into her body like a limp doll, grabbing on to her for his life, knowing that it may very well be the last time that he got to do so.
Y/N had been on her own journey in the past year. A year of self-discovery, of pain, pleasure, and allowing things to come as they are without trying to put to much thought into it.
After their conversation about family and children that night, just three months into their relationship, Y/N was still sour about the way she grew up, caring for her siblings, taking on way to much responsibility at such a young age. But she wasn’t angry anymore. She had realized that it didn’t do her any good to think about her past and let it swallow her whole. She wanted to focus on the future, her work, her relationship with Harry and their future together.
She was so in love with him, like the moon loved the stars, like the river liked the rocks they were flowing with. He was everything.
The memory of their conversation from a year ago hurt her heart. She knew it had broke him. But they were also just three months into their relationship, she was angry at her family and fresh into being alone and self-sufficient as an adult. She couldn’t think about having kids, she wasn’t in the headspace.
But as their relationship evolved and bloomed, she couldn’t help but to think about their future together, maybe as a family. The glimpses of him with his godchildren, the way he was acting around them made her body run hot.
How much she denied she wanted children, she couldn’t anymore. It would be a lie. The thought she almost didn’t dare to think, their own baby was creeping into her head more and more since that conversation. Since she had truly fell in love with him. And there was no longer any reason do hide it or deny it.
Harry’s body was shaking under the duvet, gripping onto Y/N’s body for some type of comfort. Y/N was confused, but gentle, letting him trap her with his tall body, and running soothing circles over this bare back and shoulders. “Shhh, darling, what’s on that beautiful mind of yours, huh?” She said gently against his unruly hair, sticking out everywhere.
And he told her. He told her everything on his mind and placed all of his card on the table. He had given up any hope of being truly happy, weather it was with or without her. It was her time to cry, her breathing harsh and guilty. She didn’t know he was still thinking about that, and so constantly as well. She had been thinking about casually talking about it with him, revisit the conversation and drop some hints about her current state of mind. She had no idea he felt like this, like the only options were to be with her and have no children, or to leave her to be with another that could never make him truly happy, but he would have a family with.
Y/N let him spill out every single one of his thoughts, gently carding through his hair, trying to calm him down, and unconsciously letting him know that is was all going to be alright.
When he finished, he felt like jelly, his body weak and dehydrated. “Alright my love.” She told him as she switched their positions in the bed, their bodies flush against each other, facing each other with only so much as a few centimetres between their wet faces.
“Let me tell you about this past year…” She started, as he listened to her voice telling him everything he had wanted to hear all those months ago. His breathing was slowly evening out, but tears still fell steady as she went on. He placed pecks on her puffy lips now and then, listening, awarding her with more kisses when he realised; it really wasn’t as bad as he had thought, she did want a family. As long as it was with him, and as long as it was never going to be as it was with her own family.
2 years later
She was going to tell him tonight, and she wanted to make It special.
Y/N’s now fiancé was at the studio, and while on facetime with her best friend, Maya, she told her about something she had been keeping a secret for the better part of the 2 hour call. Y/N was pregnant. And she did want to tell Harry first, of course, but her head was spinning with thoughts and she wanted to make the announcement at least a little special, so she needed advice. Maya was screaming bloody murder over the call. She was jumping up and down, tearing up and couldn’t seem to get the information into her head. Her best friend was going to have a baby.
Y/N had barely even been able to work through the information herself, but she also had tears streaming down her face.
Her and Harry had another babytalk when they had gotten engaged, just 4 months ago. It had been hours into the night, the moon shining bright onto their bed and lighting up the room. They wanted it. They wanted it now. Names had been thrown around, ideas for a nursery, and Harry was absolutely dying to get started making a baby.
Y/N had a Nexplanon implant for the entirety of their relationship, and a part of her wanted to call the doctor immediately to have it taken out.
She did have it taken out, just weeks after their conversation. Harry was away on business for three weeks, the perfect opportunity as the little incision would leave a few bruises and scars on her arm. She decided on not telling him that she got it removed, and if she was able to become pregnant quick enough, it would be an ultimate surprise. She knew where he stood anyways, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to put a baby in her as soon as he could, he wanted nothing else.
“I honestly don’t even know how to tell him. “I want to make it at least a little special.” Y/N sighed to Maya over facetime, head empty of any and every idea she had ever had. “I don’t think it has to be that special, it’s still an intimate moment, and Harry will surely love it either way. I think with him it’s just best If you catch him when he’s in that disgustingly loving mood you always have him in.” Maya said and rolled her eyes. Y/N smiled at her comment. She did get him in that mood often. He was almost always loving up on her when he had the opportunity. “Yeah,” Y/N said, lost in thought about how to tell him. “I think you’re right, maybe I’ll get him something cute though, I don’t know. I just feel like I could absolutely burst, I just want to tell him right when he gets home.” Y/N continued, gauging Mayas reaction over the phone. Maya offered her a big smile. “I think you should just tell him tonight.”
Harry had burst through the door a little past 6 that night. Voice strained after a whole day of writing and vocals on his new record. He looked visibly tired, but he lit up as soon as Y/N met him in the hallway of now their house. Without a single word falling from his lips he reached his arms out for her, like a child needy for a good cuddle. And of course, she welcomed his embrace with her heart in her throat, like always when he was around her.
“Hi, Dove.” He murmured into her neck, as he breathed in her scent, making a home for himself in the crook of her neck. “Hi” She shyly got out as he embraced her, placing a few gentle kisses on her lips. “I have a surprise for you.” Y/N said cryptically as she looked him in his eyes, wanting to play It off as serious. “You do, yeah? My lovely fiancé at home, giving me a surprise, huh? You know I’d rather have you on a silver plate than-“ he said in his tired tone, eyes gleaming and playful as he straight up admitted his horniness right as he stepped through the door.
“Jesus Christ, you have the mouth of a sailor, I swear.” Y/N chuckled and pushed herself away from his grip, but not without giving him another kiss. “I’m pretty sure you’ll want this surprise.” She continued as she walked away from him, sitting down on their sofa.
Y/N had cozied up the room before Harry got home, fluffed the pillows, lit some candles and got out something to drink for them as well as placing the wrapped up pregnancy test on the coffee table.
Harry eventually arrived into the lounge, raising his eyebrow at the wrapped up gift laying on the table. “S’that for me?” He said playfully. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She felt guilty not telling him about her implant but was sure that the guilt would be washed away with pure joy and excitement at any given moment. Harry sat down right next to her, looking at her face carefully and studying it for any kind of clue of what could be hiding inside the wrapper. “You know you don’t ever have to get me anything, Dove, but it is a nice surprise.” He said, reaching for the gift on the table.
She could barely get any more words out of her mouth, they got stuck in her throat: Her eyes glazed over, knowing what was coming, which had Harry immediately dropping the gift, tending to her instead. “Hey, hey I’m sorry, was it something I said? Are you okay my love?” He carefully said as he took her in his arms, holding her and kissing her head gently.
At this point it was getting ridiculous, so she just laughed it off. She knew he would understand her behaviour when he got to see what was inside of that gift.
“Just open your gift already.” She lightly chuckled and made eyes at the gift, still sitting on the floor from where he dropped it.
And for a moment, something flashed in his eyes. Like he could sense what was coming, he eyed her for a moment, holding the gift in his hands. Harry said nothing more, but just ripped up the paper and was met with not one, but three very positive pregnancy tests, all yelling the word PREGNANT at him. “You’re going to be a dad, H.” Y/N almost whispered, and the tears had started falling for real this time. It was like the best confirmation in herfself that she could ever feel. THIS was what she wanted, the relief flowing from her, making her finally breathe again. Harry studied the tests quietly, Y/N could see his hand shaking from where he sat next to her. “This is a prank, you can’t- are you serious my love?” He looked at her for answers, and she could just kiss him with how he looked right now, lips puffy from biting on them, eyes wide and watery. “I’m fully serious, I got the implant taken out when you were away.” Y/N laughed and stroked his cheek for a moment. She couldn’t believe this was real, that he was real, and that he was hers.
And then he cried, he couldn’t get the words out, fumbling and falling right into her arms, making her fall back on the sofa. “You’re pregnant, Dove, we’re having a baby, I-“. Y/N could feel his wet tears on the side of her neck as he took in the moment, trying to regulate his tears and his breathing, but to no avail. He placed a large palm on Y/N’s lower belly, not yet showing any signs that she was expecting. He laughed, cried, and consistently stroked over her stomach as he kissed her with all the passion he had in his body. No matter how tired he was, he would never be too tired for a moment like this, it was like his whole body was on fire, never to be put out.
“I can’t even believe-, I love you so much, I love you, I love you and our baby so much, you’re everything, absolutely everything.”
And in that moment, Harry and Y/N realised that even if their ways had parted all those years ago, without having this baby, without having each other, everything would be pointless. This is what they were meant to be doing, this is where they were meant to be - in this exact moment.
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spacebarbarianweird · 4 months
Note
I haven't seen much of Astarion n Elf!Tav, so I was wondering what you would think about them together 🤔
Hi! I've got so many requests for headcanons I really felt like I couldn't decide which one to take next so I asked my subscribers to choose the race for me.
The most voted for Elf! Tav. Since I have separate requests for Drows and Wood Elves, this one is going to be about High Elves.
Hope you will enjoy it!
Astarion x High Elf!Tav
Masterlist
Headcanons
You are young by Elven standards, still many years from receiving your adult name.
But you already have a lot of life experience - and there is sorrow in your eyes since many of your friends are already too old to accompany you.
And you know sooner or later you will be able to share company only among ones of your kind since the world will change too fast for you to grasp it.
You fall in love with Astarion at first sight. He is your Thiramin, a soulmate, a forever love.
Maybe you were together in your past reincarnations. Or in your past life, you met him as a mortal.
Or it's something new for both of you.
Astarion shrugs this idea away. He doesn't have a soul. He will never see his past lives in his dreams when he gets older (because he will never age), he won't reincarnate when he dies (because he is already dead). There is nothing, only the existence of the undead.
To have a Thiramin you also need to have a soul.
Which he doesn't.
But he still loves you. You are the first person he cares and loves. And unless you don't want him in your life, he won't go away
He also has come to terms with your mortality.
First, you will be around for many centuries. He has at least six hundred years together with you or even more.
Second, you will come back. Not right away, but you will. You will come to him, in your new body, and he will recognize you the same way older elves recognize their long-dead friends in children.
Post-game, you travel. Elven wanderlust takes you places - other continents and planes. Halrua, Kara-Tur, the Vilhon Reach, the Sea of Stars. Sometimes you settle for a bit, but never longer than a decade or two.
You speak Elven to each other. Astarion feels safe speaking his mother tongue to you.
You call each other "Salen Aester" and "Salen Thiramin": my love and my soul.
He likes teasing your ears, caressing and love-biting them.
You do the same to him, though, he wasn't comfortable at first.
But you just made him sit in front of you and allowed him to touch your ears while copying his movements.
He ended up a crying mess.
You also decide to spend some time searching for his family though it's difficult since he doesn't remember anything about his past life.
His surname is though of an Elven origin ("The one who learns by hand") sounds unfamiliar to most Elves you meet.
And Astarion is hesitant about searching for his past life.
"Whatever it was, I don't want it. I want the future. With you."
Once you turn 110 years, you return home to get the adult name.
And marry Astarion.
It's difficult for the elders to accept Astarion - a vampire, an undead, a person with no family or kin. 
But they do.
It's a sin to separate Thiramins, after all.
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati
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skzstannie · 4 months
Text
“We’d never want you to struggle alone”
SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member! reader
genre: angst wc: ~2100 cw: mentions of depression and death of family members, hatred for the holidays
Hi guys! Here’s my attempt at some Christmas/holiday angst. The fluffy Part 2 is posted and linked at the bottom of this post!
Feedback and likes/reblogs are greatly appreciated! I haven't got the chance to interact with too many people on here yet, so reach out if you'd like!
Happy scrolling!
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"Hey guys, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed. Chan Oppa, I'm gonna go lay down in your room until everyone's ready to go back to our dorm," you wave off their comments asking you to stay with them and make your way to the leader's bedroom.
It's December 20th, and the guys are all gathered around the television in the 3Racha/Hyunjin dorm, binge watching Christmas movies. During a normal year, you'd all be at your own homes with your families, cozying up to the fireplaces and drinking hot chocolate with your siblings. However, this was no normal year, and your comeback ran too close to the holidays, not allowing you nor the boys to go home for Christmas. Not that you particularly minded; you hated the holidays.
You imagine what you'd be doing at home right now, no doubt curled up in your bed with an exciting romance novel, listening to some dark academia playlist you'd found on YouTube.
But you're not home, you're stuck here with a bunch of Christmas-crazed dorks who have spent the last few weeks decorating your dorms full of all things Santa Claus. You've been managing to sneak away whenever any holiday-esque activities are taking place. You've not told them of your hatred towards the holidays, and you're not really planning to, either, not wanting to be the reason their fun-filled nights are ruined; they're already sad enough about not being able to head home for the holidays, the last thing you want to do is be a scrooge. So, you’ve resorted to humbly excusing yourself, busying yourself with your own activities when the occasion arises.
As you walk into Chan's room, you take notice of all the little trees he has decorating his room. Cute. You pick up the picture of his family he has resting on his nightstand beside his bed. You stare at his mom, dad, siblings, and grandparents smiling faces, feeling the familiarly unavoidable pit in your stomach form.
Your parents and one set of your grandparents passed away in a car wreck about five years ago, before you debuted with the guys. Your other grandparents, your mother's parents, passed away before you were born, never getting the opportunity to meet them. So, that left just you and your brother. Your brother, being a few years older than you, started his own family the summer after your parents passed. He has a beautiful wife and two children now, one boy and one girl. They got right to baby-making after they got married, so excited to start a family of their own. Unfortunately, that family never included you. You only know of their children because you’re mutuals with your sister-in-law on social media.
Your brother essentially ghosted you after his first child was born. You two were never the closest sibling duo, but you never expected him to completely drop you and ignore your existence. But he did, and that's just something you have learned to live with.
You were not in a healthy place after all this happened. You had no one to go to when your heart was breaking, grieving the loss of both your dead and alive family members. You put all your focus into the trainee program, all your sadness and anger towards the world into your dance and song. Chan eventually found you on that one fateful day that you deemed saved your life. You were at the lowest of your low, and you thought you had finally reached your breaking point, but then walked in Christopher Bang Chan, all smiles and laughter. He recruited you to be in his group as one of the first, right after Han. From then on, you had another reason to keep going, to keep fighting.
You've never told the guys this. You have always been a more reserved member, keeping all of your personal life out of the spotlight. While the boys never heard you talk much about your family, really only knowing you have a brother, they always thought that, when you went home for the holidays, you went home to a nice big house filled with love. They thought when you walked in the doors to your childhood home, you were welcomed in by your parents with opened arms, beckoning you in. They thought you spent your Christmas mornings opening nicely wrapped presents, followed by a home-cooked breakfast that'd be shared amongst your family.
They didn't know of the single bedroom apartment you called yours. They didn't know of the bareness that captured your living room, baren of all things Christmas and the lack of Christmas cookies and presents on Christmas Day. They didn't know you've always spent your holidays alone.
Honestly, you were completely fine with their assumptions. You didn't need nor want their pity. Your family was still an incredibly sensitive topic to you. Before their passing, you were so very close. You'd spent every holiday together, enjoying your time as a family, doing all the cliche things. You'd even gone caroling a few times, walking around your childhood neighborhood singing the classic Christmas songs off-key to your friendly neighbors.
Afraid you'd spiral, leading you right back to how you'd been before Chan found you, you never brought it up, and the boys never pushed you to talk about your family. They figured you were normal with a mom, dad, and a loving brother-so what's to talk about?
The holidays have never felt the same; you knew they wouldn't. So why try? Why go through the effort of making yourself a nice Christmas dinner, attending church on Christmas eve and waking up early Christmas morning, when you knew your parents wouldn't be there to greet you. When you knew your grandmother wouldn't be there to give you the biggest hug she could muster in her old age. When your grandfather wouldn't be there to give you a hearty pat on the back, his only true form of physical affection you'd ever experienced in all your years with him.
A quiet knock pulls you out of your thoughts, and in walks Felix with a glass of milk in hand. You quickly set down the picture frame you didn't realize you were still holding and give him a warm smile.
"Hey, what's up?" you ask him, taking the glass from him and sipping on the cold beverage.
"I just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright. You've been pretty distant for a couple weeks now. Is everything ok?"
You're a little caught off guard, this being the first time anyone's noticed your pulling back since the beginning of December. You honesty didn't even realize anyone was paying attention to you, all of them too caught up in the festive activities and excitement of the season.
"Yea, I mean, I'm fine. Just a bit of seasonal depression," you write off his concerns.
"I didn't know you had that," Felix ponders his thoughts for a minute, giving you a loving look. "Is there anything I can do to help? Have you always had seasonal depression?"
While looking into Felix's warm, brown eyes, you decide that keeping all these things from them all these years has been unfair. They're never afraid of sharing their personal struggles with you. You think back to all the times Han's came to you with anxiety, and how you've wanted nothing more than to take away all his worry and pain. How Seungmin's came to you with his insecurities, and you always hyping him up, calling him the most beautiful boy. If any of them had kept their struggling to themselves, it'd crush you. How dare they feel like they couldn't come to you? Why would they want to struggle alone?
You realize that these feelings are most definitely reciprocated by the guys. Now, feeling vulnerable after being left alone with your thoughts for so long, you have the dire urge to come clean about your family.
"Actually Felix, I've been struggling with this for quite some time now. Can you, maybe just, listen? I've never talked to anyone about this, but I want to now. I want you guys to know," you fiddle with your hands, sliding one of your rings on and off your finger.
"Of course! You can always talk to me. Go ahead, I'm listening." He grabs your hand, halting your fidgeting. You look up at him, take a deep breath, and let it all out. Everything you've been holding onto these last few years. It probably sounds like word vomit, all your feelings and hardships falling out of your mouth at lightning speed. You finish your rambling, and you finally have the courage to look up at his face again.
He's crying. Equipped with all the theatrics, the wobbly lip and rosy cheeks. You made Felix cry with all your problems. You reach up to his cheek, wiping a few of his falling tears.
"Ok, I think I'm done," you freeze as Felix also brings his index finger up to your cheek. You flinch when he pulls away, seeing the dampness of it.
You're crying, too. You didn't even realize. I mean, it makes sense. You just trauma dumped all of your troubles onto Felix, the world's most renowned empath, of course you'd be crying.
You guys sit in silence for a minute, before Felix's whimpers become audible. He's so visibly distraught, and your heart breaks even more just at the mere sight of him.
He launches himself at you, clinging to you so tightly you think your ribs may crack. He tackles you back onto the bed, resting on top of you.
"Why did you never tell us this?" his sobs wreck through his body, his arms trembling around you, "We could've helped you."
"I was scared," you wriggle one of your arms free of his embrace, using it to affectionately run your hand through his hair. Your sobs join together as one, both of you a mess. "I was scared you guys would pity me, or look at me less. I was scared that I'd spiral again if I talked about it."
"Well, we're here now, Jagiya." He sits up after a few minutes. His cries have quieted, and so have yours. "We aren't going to let you continue going through this alone, ya know. We are one, and if one of us is hurting, we're all hurting. Please don't keep things like this from us anymore." He begs, standing from the bed. He grabs your hand and pulls you up, making his way towards the door.
"Where are we going?" your voice shakes and you pull away from Felix, standing in the middle of Chan's room. You wrap your arms around your middle, feeling more exposed than you ever have before.
"You know we have to tell the rest of them. They deserve to know, too."
"Felix, I don't think I can tell the story again. Once was enough for a lifetime."
"OK, do you feel comfortable with me telling them? I'll tell them exactly what you told me, no more, no less, ok?"
You frantically nod your head, grateful for Felix's suggestion.
He blows you a playful kiss, no doubt trying to make you feel better, and he leaves to go to the living room. You take your seat back down on the side of the bed and wait patiently for Felix to finish.
You don't hear much for the next few minutes, but you're startled by the swinging open of the door, the handle cracking against Chan's poor wall. Han stands there, a dazed look on his face. His glassy eyes meet yours, and you shriek when he takes off, leaping onto the bed onto your small frame. He wraps you up in a big hug, squeezing the life out of you.
"We love you, and we'd never want you to struggle alone. We're in this life together."
One by one, the rest of the guys make their way into the room onto the bed. We're haphazardly thrown into a cuddle pile of sorts. A cuddle pile filled with the love and adoration you've been missing during the holidays.
You all lay in each other's arms, and you feel incredibly comfortable and safe. Chan's the first to break the silence, "We have five days left until Christmas. What do you say we make some new Christmas traditions? We don't want to replace what you used to have, and you’re entitled to spend your Christmas season as you'd like. But, if you'll let us, we’ll give you something to look forward to about the holidays again. Please?" The guys are all looking at you now, each of them displaying a face that could rival a sad puppy.
You realize now that there's nothing to be scared of. These are your best friends you're talking about, who want nothing but to shower you in love and happiness.
"I'd love that."
Part 2
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wynnyfryd · 5 months
Text
Trailer park Steve AU part 19
part 1 | part 18 | ao3
November
As annoyed as Steve is to admit it, Dustin’s plan actually works.
(And he is annoyed, for the record. That little shithead should be glad he’s still grounded because Steve’s sorely tempted to invite him over just to give him a wedgie.)
Somewhere in the weeks following The Abduction Incident, he and Eddie become friends. Like, real ones. Friends who talk and laugh and shoot the shit in passing, who trade movies and mix tapes and ask each other if they saw the latest headlines in the morning paper.
They haven’t really had much chance to properly hang out, but Steve sees him most mornings, because he promised Wayne to keep making sure Eddie doesn’t sleep in on school days, and sometimes when they’re both around in the afternoons they’ll have a couple beers together, share a cigarette on the lumpy loveseat on the front porch of Eddie’s place. 
And Eddie’s…
Eddie’s funny. Oddly charming. Theatrical and weird. Steve already knew that last part, but it’s so much better when it’s not being used as an offensive weapon against him. He likes being in on Eddie’s jokes. 
Just plain likes Eddie, if he’s honest. 
“Steve?”  
Which should be crazy. It is crazy; if someone had told him a couple years ago that he’d be spending his free time with The Freak — that he would regret missing the guy’s Halloween show because of a Family Video shift, or that he would spend a week working up the courage to ask him if he wants to ride to school with Robin and him in the mornings? He probably would have kicked their ass for the mere suggestion. 
But now he’s half-orphaned trailer trash who knows that monsters exist, so. Eh.
“Steve! Hello? Earth to Steve.”
Steve blinks, focuses on the fingers Robin’s snapping in front of his face. “Huh?” he asks dumbly. 
He expects her to roll her eyes and pretend to chastise him with some butchered version of his name— ‘Steven Cardamom Harrington, were you daydreaming again?’ — but she just snaps her fingers again and begs, “A little help here? Please?” Her eyes are wide, her shoulder scrunched up to her ears with stress, and Steve realizes that:
a) he’s been staring blankly at a cart of go-backs for ten minutes instead of actually doing his job, and
b) the store is suddenly packed.
Friday night, and the rain that’s been hanging over Hawkins all week finally let up, so now everyone and their mother is apparently out running errands. 
He moves to man the front desk because the line is almost out the door, and Robin buzzes around the room like a shaken can of pure panic, her bangs sticking to her forehead as she zooms up and down aisles with the restock cart. She keeps making crazy eyes at parents when they stop her to ask about new releases or the age-appropriateness of films, because the parents are distracting her from intercepting their little gremlin children, who keep putting movies on the wrong shelves on purpose just to piss her off. 
“Dumbo! Does not go! In the horror section!” Steve hears her bark at a group of third graders, and he has to crouch down behind the counter for a second so she doesn’t see him laughing when she follows that up with a strangled, “Ugh!!!”
Okay. 
Entertaining as this is, he’s not getting chewed out by Keith again for missing quotas because Robin blew a gasket and scared off all the customers. 
“Hey, Rob?” he calls out to her as he hands a woman her change. 
“What?” 
“Go take a smoke break?” 
He knows she doesn’t smoke. He also knows that sometimes rushes like this get to be too much for her — the noise, the lights, the chaos of a crowd (“the mouth sounds, Steve; good god, the mouth sounds”) — and she needs a minute or twelve to go stand outside in the cool air, flap her hands around and scream behind a dumpster or whatever until she calms down.
Her eyes flash at the suggestion like she’s about to snap at him, but then she takes a deep breath and marches herself out the back door without another word.
With Robin cleared out, the crowd thins out pretty quickly. Steve gets the line taken care of at a speed he’s definitely not getting paid enough to maintain, and the kids get bored of playing ‘rearrange the inventory’ and wander off to the arcade. 
It’s sort of soothing, the mindless flow of it: scan, click, click, make change, “thanks for choosing Family Video,” print receipt, repeat. His mind wanders again as he works, but it doesn’t sink into its usual sludge of despair; doesn’t wail ‘house bills mom pills stress fuck-fuck’ like a tornado siren in his head until he gives himself a migraine. 
No, he’s thinking about denim. About cigarette smoke.
Crooked smile; Chiclet teeth.
Patches and pins with strange names and stranger artwork.
And then he’s thinking about how this is the second time tonight he’s started daydreaming about Eddie and wills himself to knock it off.
What? The guy’s friendly with him a handful of times, and suddenly he’s, like, obsessed with him?
He’s not. 
He’s not. 
He's just… pleasantly distracted by him; that's all.
“Thanks for choosing Family Video,” he tells the last customers as he hands them their receipt. The second they turn to leave, he slumps over the counter with his head pillowed on his arms, a wave of exhaustion hitting him because holy shit that was so many people and thank god the store’s finally empty. 
The bell over the door dings.
Goddammit. 
Steve lifts his head, reminds himself not to scowl at paying customers because he really needs this job, but then— 
“Eddie! Hey!”
— 
part 20
tag list part 1 below cut let me know if you want to be added tomorrow
@heartsong18 @hellion-child @hiimlevi @hotluncheddie @jackiemonroe5512 @jaytriesstuff @littlebluejane @lololol-1234 @marklee-blackmore @melonmochi @messrs-weasley @mrsjellymunson @mugloversonly @nburkhardt @nerdyglassescheeseychick @noodle-shenaniganery @notsopersonalcharlie @novelnovella @nuggies4life @pending-dope-username @perseus-notjackson @ppunkpuppyy @questionablequeeries @remosdeerica @runninriot @sadcanadianwinter @shamelesspatrolshepherdcowboy @silver-snaffles @singmeyoursimpsong @slowandsteddie @slutforcoffein @solalasoforth @spookednsaucy @steddieas-shegoes @steddie-island @stevesbipanic @steves-strapcollection @taleah-bonnick @teatimeeverybody @th30ra3k3n @thealwithnoname @thespaceantwhowrites @thestarslittleking @thesuninyaface @trensu @violetsteve @wormdebut @yourmom-isgay @zoeweee @zombiecreatures
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zeltqz · 5 months
Note
In which ran is being gentle with children or something along those lines and reader in that moment is like get me pregnant now then smut 🫡
knocked up | ran haitani
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content. breeding kink, creampie, unprotected sex, established relationship, daddy kink, shower sex
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You never were much of a kids person. If someone asked you how many kids you wanted, your answer was already none really. 
Kids were fine, you didn’t hate them, you just didn’t care about them enough to ruin your body for nine months and push one out. 
But right now, looking at the sight of your boyfriend Ran Haitani playing with your little niece had you reconsidering your choice. You’d never seen your niece happier and though you should be fuming with jealousy right now that she prefers your boyfriend—who she’s only known for a day—over you, you can’t help but admire Ran making her laugh, lifting her in the air until she’s dying with laughter and begging to be put down, the sight of him baby talking her, carrying her—
It’s making you look at Ran in a different light. Men that know how to handle kids are so…hot. 
That’s why you can barely contain yourself when your sister comes over to collect her daughter; your adorable niece merely waving goodbye at you and instead runs over at full speed with those tiny legs of hers over towards Ran and hugs his leg tight before being escorted out of the house by her mother.
“I’m gonna go shower baby.” Ran loops a hand around your waist and pulls you in, pressing his lips to the side of your head. “I’ll meet you upstairs.”
“Okay,” you murmur, relishing his warmth beside you before its ripped away as he heads upstairs. You can hear the shower turn on minutes later and shift until you’re leaning against the wall, contemplating something.
Your pussy throbs, your hormones working overtime as you can only think about his cock filling and stuffing you to the brim, his cum slowly leaking out of your folds and soaking the sheets. Or maybe you want his cock to stay plugged inside your pussy, making sure not even a drop escapes and ensuring your chances of success.
With that, you’re heading up the stairs, into your shared bedroom and begin to strip, leaving a trail of clothes in your wake as you enter the bathroom. Your presence is silent, almost non existent as you slip into the shower behind Ran and loop your arms around his midsection. 
He gets startled at first but overcomes it easily, turning to look down at your head digging into the firm muscle of his back. Slowly, you kissed down the slope of his back before moving back up his spine.
“I want you s’bad Ran,” you whisper.
“Yeah? Show me.” He turns around to face you before you’re pouncing on him, sucking his lips in a desperate attempt of a kiss. 
He groans into your mouth, gripping onto your wet, slippery skin and presses you against the wall. He doesn’t tease, sliding his hands up and down your sides as his tongue licks into your mouth before cupping your breasts. Ran licks your bottom lip, circling his tongue over it and stroking at your tits, making your nipples pebble beneath his thumbs. 
Your fingers clutch at the wet tiles as Ran flicks your nipples with his fingertips. 
“I’m—” you start, “I want you so bad Ran.” Your hands loop around his neck as you stand on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Want you to breed me so badly Ran please . I need it s’badly.” 
As if your words weren’t holding enough desire to slowly drive him to madness, you had to add the cherry on top, lowering your voice impossibly quieter as you practically breathe out, “Please daddy,” in his ear.
Then, suddenly, you’re being spinned around, Ran’s hips pressing into you, trapping you against the wall with a deep groan that has your stomach fluttering. You inch your head backwards to glance his way but he’s not looking at you. 
His brows are drawn in concentration as he nudges your legs apart with his knee, those big hands of his spreading your cheeks apart. The water dripping from the shower head makes its way to between your legs, giving him the leverage he needs to slip his finger inside you. 
One finger turns to two and he’s slowly scissoring you open, relishing in the feeling of your walls clinging and squeezing the length of his fingers. 
With his spare hand, he pulls your head back by your hair, until your back is arched painfully, until his lips are right beside your ear. “Call me daddy again baby. Wanna hear it.”
“Daddy please, fuck me.”
“Yeah?” The squelching sounds coming from your pussy every time his fingers thrusted in and out were so obscene , blood filling your ears as you pushed your hips back to feel him deeper.
“Yeah, fuck a baby into me, please—” 
You felt empty when he pulled his fingers out so abruptly but you were quickly filled to the brim with his cock seconds later, thrusting shallowly into you. He does it twice, heavy grunts spilling out from between his lips as he continues fucking into your tight, wet cunt.  
He pulls on your hair, tugging you back further and moans your name by your ear, lips brushing the shell of your ear as he fucks into you once, twice, the third thrust pressing you further into the wall. An inferno rose inside you as his cock slides thick and heavy between your legs.
“Ah! Ran!” you shout, scrabbling uselessly against the tiles to brace yourself against the force of his thrusts. 
“Good girl. Taking me so well, fuck,” Ran slaps your ass hard enough to sting. His hands creep up the sides of your body to cup your boobs, kneading them roughly, pinching your nipples painfully. They come alive beneath his touch, cradled in his strong hands.
It’s driving you crazy, the way Ran runs his tongue along the length of your jaw, sucking at your neck, biting your shoulder all the while piercing the deepest parts of you with his cock.
You feel the heat between your legs again, your orgasm searing its way up to your core. You whine as Ran starts fucking into you faster, his head thrown back in ecstasy. He slams into you without remorse, rolling his hips with abandon, grinding himself into your quivering flesh.
“So good—ah fuck—don’t stop Ran please !” you scream.
“My god, woman,” Ran pants as you clench around him, slamming your body against his. His hands join yours against the wall, cradling them in his big grip before moving them to lock around your neck. “Screaming my name like a whore ,” he whispers in your ear, tilting your head back till you’re looking at him. “Want my cum deep inside you don’t you baby?”
“Mhm-mhm—”
He slowly buries his tongue in your throat, sucking deeply in your mouth, sending a bolt of heat through your system. 
His whole body goes rigid, squeezing your throat tight enough that you feel your airways restrict. Spasms go through your abdomen as Ran grips you tighter and starts thrusting wildly. No matter how hard he bucks into you, he seems unable to penetrate deeper than he already has. Your limbs shake as your nerves fire off all over the place. Your knees give out under you as Ran pumps into you with so much force that it almost hurts to breathe, small whimpers escaping your throat.
The sensation becomes too intense, a deep burn in your groin that only grows hotter and hotter as your body gives in to its climax.
He slams into you a final time before releasing you with a satisfied sigh, pressing his forehead against your temple as he gently kisses the side of your face. You can feel his cum pulsating within you, a hot flush spreading through your body as he breathes heavily behind you.
He's about to pull out before you stop him. "Wait," you say, catching hold of him and pulling him closer. "Keep going." 
"What?"
"...I wanna get pregnant. I wanna have your babies," you whisper huskily into his ear, your arms tightening around him. 
Ran freezes, holding you close to him as he comes back down to earth. It takes a few moments for his mind to catch up with what just happened. "You were serious about that baby? I thought that was all talk." 
"No. I want it," you admit. "I changed my mind."
"You changed your mind...?" He sounds dazed and looks down at you to see nothing but pure seriousness on your face.
You nod. "Yeah."
"Well... okay," he says after a moment, kissing you once more before removing himself from you. As he moves away from you, his eyes meet yours, drinking in every little detail. "Gonna fuck you as many times as we need until you're knocked up."
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sansaorgana · 1 year
Text
— HAVING A BABY WITH OSCAR ISAAC’S CHARACTERS (HEADCANONS)
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PAIRING — Marc Spector // Steven Grant // Jake Lockley, Poe Dameron, Santiago Garcia, Duke Leto Atreides, William Tell, Orestes x Reader
AUTHOR’S NOTE — Gosh, I thought I’d write “quick headcanons” and guess what, it took me a week to do so and it’s like 7,5k words long 😳... I planned to write headcanons for Jonathan Levy, too, but I kinda didn’t have any ideas + it’s already quite long... I also wanted to write headcanons for Llewyn Davis but I watched that movie years ago and I’d have to rewatch first. So maybe one day I’ll write Part Two of these headcanons. 🤗
WARNINGS — mentions of abortion (Poe Dameron, Santiago Garcia, William Tell), mentions of infertility (Duke Leto Atreides)
WORD COUNT — 7,660 (1,890 – Marc Spector // Steven Grant // Jake Lockley; 1,320 – Poe Dameron; 1,180 – Santiago Garcia; 1,380 – Duke Leto Atreides; 890 – William Tell; 940 – Orestes)
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
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MARC SPECTOR // STEVEN GRANT // JAKE LOCKLEY
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• Having a child was Steven’s biggest dream but he had lost hope for it to ever happen a long time ago.
• Marc didn’t even want to think about the possibility of having children because he was so terrified of being an awful parent like his mother.
• Jake didn’t think much about becoming a parent either. He didn’t feel very connected to reality since most of his life he only existed with one purpose – to protect Marc and Steven and then to hide in the darkness again. You were the first person showing him love and encouraging him to open up and be himself but it still felt a bit surreal.
• Those were the reasons why Steven didn’t even mention the possibility of children to you because he knew that Marc and Jake would be angry at him for that.
• But one day after work, he came back to you curled up on the sofa under a blanket and watching cute baby videos. You had a typical baby fever before your period and you didn’t want Steven to find out about it because it would make things awkward between you two. However, you couldn’t hear him coming inside. You quickly locked your phone but he was already standing there; stunned and speechless.
• “Why were you watching baby videos, love?” he asked and you just couldn’t lie to him because you’d feel even worse making up lies. So you told him the truth: you wanted a baby. A baby with him and Marc and Jake.
• You added, though, that if it is not something they want, then you would be just as happy. Your boys were your priority and a child would only be an addition to an already perfect relationship.
• Steven’s eyes sparkled as he smiled widely. He sat on the couch under the blanket with you and kissed you all over your face, telling you that he’d love to have children with you. You spent the whole evening watching those cute videos.
• Marc and Jake didn’t know how to react. They were terrified but they didn’t want to stand in the way of yours and Steven’s happiness.
• You had a conversation about having children with each one of them and they all agreed. However, when you got pregnant, you noticed that Marc and Jake gradually stopped fronting.
• The only reason why you were scared to ask Steven about it was that you were terrified of the answer. You didn’t want to hear that Marc and Jake actually didn’t want to be fathers. It would break your heart. So you focused on Steven who was a ray of sunshine.
• He never missed any doctor’s visit, always woke up at night to prepare food for you, he was addicted to buying cute things for the baby and he made sure that you knew how beautiful you were while pregnant with his baby.
• You couldn’t know that at night, when you were asleep, Marc or Jake would often front to look at the ultrasound pictures of your baby and to caress your bump while holding you close. They loved your little baby as much as Steven, they were just scared.
• When you gave birth to your son, it was Steven with you, too. It was almost impossible to make him hand the baby over even for a second. He was whining even when he was giving the baby to you because he would rather hold his son all the time and you would roll your eyes at that but it was making you very happy to see your boyfriend like that.
• On the second day at the hospital, after waking up, you saw Jake holding your baby. You were surprised but in a pleasant way.
• “Hey, baby, you’re awake now, mi vida?” he asked you softly and sat on the edge of the bed, still holding the baby boy carefully. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you much. I was very scared. Can you forgive me?”
• His disarming honesty made your eyes well with tears. You hugged him tight from behind and sobbed out of happiness.
• “I’m so happy to have you back, Jake,” you whispered.
• “I’m so proud of you, hermosa,” he hummed while staring at his baby. “I couldn’t wait… Marc and I… We swore to never front again but I couldn’t… I… I had to hold my son.”
• You frowned at that revelation.
• “What does it mean that you swore to never front again?” you asked, concerned.
• And Jake explained to you all the fear he and Marc felt. All the confusion and cautiousness. Marc was convinced he would hurt the baby accidentally. That he’d be just like his mother or worse, considering the fact his were the hands of the murderer. He was capable of much worse things than his awful mother. He couldn’t risk it to damage something so innocent and pure.
• “But you risked it,” you pointed out to Jake and fixed one of the reckless curls on his forehead. “And I’m so glad you did. I know you’re scared but I want you around, okay? I will help you. Steven will, too.”
• Jake promised you to be around for the baby but he couldn’t promise for Marc.
• It was worrying you because you missed Marc but his stubbornness was something you just couldn’t win with. He refused to front. Until that one night.
• Steven was sleeping peacefully next to you. Or was it him? When they were asleep, no one was really fronting, right? It was just… Just him. Your boyfriend. All of them at once. Perhaps the only chance to spend time with Marc these days. However, they were asleep and your son started crying. Usually, it was Steven or Jake waking up and bringing the baby to you so you would feed him but this time they were sleeping so peacefully… You just left them there and went to check on your son.
• He was hungry so you sat on the armchair to feed him while stroking his light hair and cooing to him about how lovely he was. And how lucky to have such wonderful dads.
• “Daddy Steven is so in love with you, my sweet prince, I’m almost jealous. And daddy Jake would do everything it takes to protect you… I only wish that… I wish that…” your voice broke. “I wish that you met daddy Marc. I’m sure he loves you, too. You’d adore him and I… I miss him… I miss him every day so much, you have no idea, my lovely boy. I wish he would come back to me. To us.”
• Then you heard the noise behind you and you turned your head around. It was him. It was Marc standing in the doorway with sleepy eyes, ruffled hair and nothing but his pajama pants on. He looked so cozy and vulnerable.
• “Hey,” he cleared his throat.
• “Hey,” you answered and watched him carefully approaching you to look over your shoulder at the face of his son.
• “Can I hold him?” was all he asked and you nodded. The baby was fed now anyway and had to be carried around for a while so you just handed him to his father and buttoned up your nightgown. “He’s beautiful,” Marc whispered. “And mine…? Something so beautiful is mine…?”
• Under any other circumstances, you’d be offended by such a question. But you knew Marc didn’t mean it in a bad way.
• “Not only yours but also made out of you. He’s half you, Marc Spector,” you stood behind him to touch him carefully like he was made of glass. “I missed you. Please, don’t disappear again after this night. Please. I need you. I love Jake and Steven with all my heart but without you… It’s all incomplete. I can’t make it without you,” you confessed and Marc looked at you. There were tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
• “I’m a coward. I chickened out.”
• “It’s okay. I can forgive you just like I forgave Jake. After all, I still had Steven with me and… Well, at the end of the day, when you lay with me in bed asleep… After all, despite everything, you are all one person. So I had Steven with me, knowing that some part of you wants this baby and is excited for them. And it brought me comfort. You didn’t abandon me all the way, you were with me all that time as Steven. And that’s why I will forgive you like I forgave Jake. But only if you decide to stay.”
• It took Marc a while to make a decision. He kept looking at you and then his son, feeling the warmth of your body pressed to his behind him and feeling the weight of his son in his arms. The most precious and sweet weight he could imagine…
• Marc stayed. It all slowly went back to normal with the three of them fronting equally.
• Steven is the typical nerd dad. He tells your son a hundred fun facts a day and takes him to all sorts of museums and exhibitions. He becomes an expert in everything the boy is interested in over the night. He read all the dinosaur encyclopedias once. It’s extremely adorable to observe.
• Jake is all about the adventure. Being a dad used to be surreal to him but now he feels like it defined him as a person. It grounds him and makes him feel more real; when your son needs his help with something or asks him for advice – that's when he feels that he found the purpose in life. He’s the one to take your son to all sorts of trips, football matches or to watch the racing cars together.
• Marc is so much more than just an official, legal father of the baby. It took him some time to get adjusted to the new reality and to trust himself but he eventually allowed himself to be loved by your son and to give nothing but love in return. You can sense sometimes that he gets tense when your son gets bratty or does something wrong. Marc feels like he should discipline him but he physically cannot do that, he leaves it up to you and backs off for some time. However, you don’t blame him for that because you know about his past and his traumatic childhood.
• The thing you were worrying the most about was how your son would comprehend the fact that his father is in fact three people. But children are usually more understanding than adults. For your son it’s always been this way and it’s normal to him. He doesn’t even ask many questions about that and he doesn’t treat this situation as any abnormality. He addresses all his fathers as “daddy” or “dad” but you can tell that he sees the differences between them. For example, he is more eager to talk about dinosaurs when it’s Steven fronting and football when it’s Jake. Sometimes he’s more literal, like when he’s asking: “Can daddy Marc watch the movie with me?”
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POE DAMERON
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• You had never meant to be a warrior or a member of the Resistance, fighting for your life and the Galaxy’s freedom. You only wanted to be a politician.
• That was how you ended up as a member of Leia Organa’s team at the Senate and now at the Resistance Base.
• And that was how you met the best pilot of the Resistance. You had heard of him before because he had started back then in the days of the Republic but now, during the war with the First Order, he truly became a hero and Leia Organa’s favorite.
• You couldn’t stand him at first, though. He was cocky, full of himself, loved to brag and tease you for being stiff. The only two things you liked about Poe Dameron were: his droid and the count of all the First Order ships he had taken down.
• For some reason, Leia was always smirking when you two were arguing and it was amusing to her.
• “You remind me of Han and me,” she confessed one day, which made you choke on your caf.
• “We are nothing like you and Han, General Organa,” you rolled your eyes and sighed. “We hate each other,” you added.
• “That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” she smiled.
• “No way! There is nothing in this Galaxy that would make me marry Poe Dameron,” you hissed out and Leia raised an eyebrow at you. “I’d only marry him if it was a condition to end the war or something.”
• In fact, Leia Organa was the one to marry you and Poe half a year later at the Resistance Base.
• During one of the space missions, you lost contact with Poe while he performed an incredibly risky stunt. In result, he beat his own record at how many First Order ships can be shot down during one space battle. However, all that time when you couldn’t contact him and everyone thought he had died, those were the worst minutes of your life.
• When he landed at the hangar, he saw you walking fast towards him. He grinned from ear to ear, feeling proud like the hero he was. He didn’t expect you to slap his face. “Damn you, Dameron!” you screamed at him and everyone around went silent. “Don’t you dare doing this again to me,” your voice broke as you burst into tears. Confused BB–8 beeped and looked up at you. Poe bit on his lower lip and eventually crashed his lips with yours while everyone cheered.
• You got married shortly after that. Under any other circumstances you would never marry someone so quick but you were at the war. You could die any day. You didn’t want to lose any time and you didn’t want to regret not doing it. Poe gave you his mother’s wedding ring he had been wearing on a chain before.
• You didn’t talk about children, though. It was obvious that it was the worst time ever to have a kid. It was a subject you’d discuss later, when there would be peace in the Galaxy already.
• So when you started to suspect that you might be expecting, you were terrified. You didn’t know what to do. Leia was the first person you told because she had noticed your change of behavior anyway.
• She understood your doubts but she held your hands tightly and told you that everything would be alright. That such things never happen at the right time and that maybe the kid would bring a little hope to this world. And Maker only knew how much you needed hope these days.
• So you told Poe and he didn’t know how to react either. It was a bad time to have a child and to be honest he didn’t even know if he wanted to have children at all. This world was not a safe place. Even if this war would end, another one would start soon. He tried to be supportive but you could see that he was nervous and unsure.
• “It will be just like with BB, you know. He’s like our baby, too,” you tried to joke.
• “No, it won’t fucking be like with BB. It’s a droid, not a human being,” Poe got angry and BB–8 beeped sadly before looking down. Poe left outside to catch a deep breath and you sighed before patting BB’s head.
• “He’s just scared, BB, he didn’t mean that,” you cheered the droid up and followed your husband.
• He was standing with his eyes closed, facing the sun. You smiled to yourself at the thought of how handsome he was.
• “Stop staring, Dameron,” he teased with his eyes still closed.
• “Stop being so pretty, flyboy,” you teased him back and he chuckled before opening his eyes and looking back at you.
• “I’m sorry. I’m terrified,” he admitted.
• “Me too,” you confessed. “But I want this baby.”
• Poe nodded and approached you to place small kisses all over your face and make you giggle as his hands rubbed your still flat belly through your shirt.
• He had always been overprotective but now it became extreme when it came to you. While being on the missions or during the space battles, Poe tried not to do anything risky to have better chances of coming back to the base. He didn’t want the child to never know him. But at the same time he was even more determined now to bring the First Order down because he wanted his baby to be born in a world without it.
• Everyone kept saying that Poe became more mature. He was still funny and loved a good joke but he became much less chaotic and reckless. He also stopped bragging so much about his own self and his skills.
• There was a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. Being one of the Resistance’s leaders as the best pilot and the poster boy was making him a role model for many. Then, he had to also think about saving the world every day in his X–Wing. And he had a baby on the way.
• Your heart would swell with pride every time you saw him around the base. He was just the best; so brave and responsible, with so many people looking up to him, a hero and a father of your child. And he was all yours.
• And that look on your face, your sparkling eyes and your pregnancy glow when you waited for him at the end of the corridor… It was all making that exhausting effort actually matter to him. He would go through this all hundreds of times more if it meant having you like this.
• Your baby boy was born shortly after the Battle of Exegol. Poe’s dream for his child to be raised in a world without the First Order came true.
• You chose to live on Yavin 4, Poe’s homeplanet. That is where your home is although both of you are actively working to rebuild the Republic. Poe is the General of the fleet now and you were chosen to be the Senator.
• You try to work together whenever you can so you can take your son with you. When you can’t, the boy usually spends time with you but when Poe’s missions are completely riskless, he takes him with himself and your son loves to travel around the Galaxy with his daddy and BB–8.
• Speaking of BB, he is the best nanny you could ask for.
• You are pretty sure the boy would become a pilot one day, too. And you’re not happy about it. “I’ll have to worry about you both,” you always say, “like worrying about one is not enough.”
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SANTIAGO GARCIA
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• When you met Santi, you knew what his job was like. You knew he wouldn’t be around much and that every mission could be his last. Not every woman would go for that.
• But you did it because you loved him too much to imagine a life without him by your side. In fact, you decided to risk it all. Everyone called you irresponsible and stupid when you resigned from your job and moved to Colombia with Santi.
• Most of the time you were staying inside because it was the safest this way. No job, not many duties either… You felt bored doing nothing but only waiting for him to come back home at the end of the day. Waiting and worrying, waiting and worrying… Seemed like your life was nothing more than that. You didn’t want to complain, though. It was your choice and you had Santiago with you. That was all that mattered.
• Until you started to get nauseous every morning and suddenly the Colombian heat became even more insufferable than before. You were easily irritated and stopped liking your comfort foods.
• Santiago didn’t even notice much. He only worried about your stomach problems. However, when you didn’t get your period, you decided to sneak out to the store and buy yourself a pregnancy test.
• You didn’t know how to feel about the fact that it came out positive. Part of you was very happy but you were terrified of Santiago’s reaction.
• When he came back home that evening, he could sense that something was wrong. You handed him the test and pressed your lips together in a thin line. It took him a few seconds to understand what had happened and his eyes widened.
• “That’s… That’s quite inconvenient at the moment, you realize that, right?” was all he said. You didn’t even know how to react to that. Yell at him? Slap his face? Instead, you chose to be calm.
• “I know, Santi. I’ll just come back home to my parents, I don’t know… I’m not getting rid of it,” you told him sternly and he nodded before swallowing thickly.
• “I didn’t say that… I didn’t mean to…” he struggled to find the right words. “I’m sorry. It’s just unexpected. But I am happy,” he added and hugged you but you could feel he was stiff and his fake smile didn’t reach his tired eyes. You had to admit, it broke your heart.
• You were surprised to find out that Santi was coming back to America with you. You knew he was leaving an unfinished business in Colombia but apparently he didn’t want you to go alone. You appreciated it.
• The thing was, Santiago wanted this baby as much as you but he was worried about the future and he was a bit scared of such responsibility.
• From yours and his savings, you bought a small house to start your family in. It was still full of unpacked boxes and it needed a few fixes here and there but you adored it already because it was supposed to be your home where you’d start your family with the man you loved.
• But Santiago couldn’t stop thinking about Colombia. “One last job, baby, then I’ll be back for good,” he promised. “If I convince the boys to join me, it’s gonna take me only a few days,” he added and caressed your growing bump.
• He refused to share any details with you so you assumed the operation was quite different from his previous jobs. You were against him going but he said he would come back with a lot of money to secure your baby’s future. He seemed to be pretty determined about it so you were left with no choice but to let him go.
• You were worried sick all that time, especially when he stopped calling or even texting you at some point. You were walking around the house and checking your phone every five minutes to see if there were any new notifications from Santiago. Suddenly, your house became empty and cold. It didn’t feel like home anymore. It felt like jail where you were waiting for the sentence. And you knew that worrying wasn’t good for the baby but every woman would worry if she was in your shoes…
• One day he came back home without letting you know beforehand. Just like that. You opened the front door after hearing the doorbell and you faced Santiago standing there with the most vulnerable look you had ever seen on his face.
• You didn’t ask questions, you just pulled him inside and hugged him, so happy to have him back.
• “I didn’t… I didn’t get any money, I’m sorry,” was all he said and you furrowed your brow. You didn’t ask for the details, you could see it would take him some time to open up about that mission and that something had clearly gone wrong. That was why you were even happier to have him back despite everything.
• “It’s okay. We don’t need them, baby. You’ll find a job here, yes? I’ll go to work, too, when the baby is old enough. And we have our savings, we’ll be alright, am I right?” you kept asking him, desperately wanting him to assure you that he would stay.
• Santiago nodded and pressed his forehead to yours while his arms held you close.
• “It was my last job like I promised. I want to be here for the baby,” he whispered and your heart grew in your chest.
• “It’s a girl,” you told him and he blinked a few times before taking a step back and looking at you, amazed. “I found out yesterday. Want to see the ultrasound picture? She’s the cutest. Not that you can see anything really but I’m sure she is and that she’s gonna be daddy’s girl,” you smiled.
• When Santiago broke down crying while holding the picture, you just knew that this mission had to be a complete disaster but you didn’t push him to answer any questions.
• There was a change in him, though. He didn’t mention coming back to Colombia anymore and he fixed all the things around the house. You helped him to unpack all the bags and prepare the nursery to make it cozy and adorable for your baby girl.
• Santi found a job and started to train the young boys and girls wanting to become soldiers. After work and during the weekends he is a devoted father. His little baby girl seems to be his whole world.
• Doesn’t matter how tired he is, he always finds time to play with her. He takes her to the cinema, carries her around, bakes cakes with her and watches Disney movies together.
• He also likes to buy you flowers often to thank you for his daughter and for being the best thing that has ever happened in his life.
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DUKE LETO ATREIDES
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• The union between you was arranged shortly after Leto had become the Duke and you were terrified of both: him and the whole world of Caladan.
• However, you changed your mind on the very first day. It was very clear that even if you would never fall in love, you’d surely be good friends. He was a handsome man of good manners and he was making sure you felt comfortable throughout the ceremony of your wedding.
• You were aware that your most important duty was to give birth to an heir. Leto never made you feel this way, though. He never pushed you into anything that would make you uncomfortable and he would only invite you to his chambers without expecting any answer in particular.
• You liked him and with time you started to fancy him, therefore you usually accepted his invitations.
• Despite that and your shared great efforts, during your one year wedding anniversary, you still weren’t with child.
• You could hear the people whisper and talk behind your back. They were calling you barren and useless, automatically assuming you had been the problem and not your husband. You tried to keep your head held high but one day something broke inside of you after hearing a few men whispering about getting Leto a lover if you continued to be barren for the next year.
• You knew that Caladan needed an heir and if you wouldn’t be able to give it one, you’d have to eventually agree on a lover, but it still hurt you.
• You spent the whole evening in your chambers, crying. Leto got worried during dinner when he noticed you weren’t present so he visited you.
• When he saw you crying on the bed, he sat on the edge of it and placed his hand on your back gently. “What’s wrong, my darling wife?” he asked.
• “I’m not darling, I’m useless,” you sobbed. “They all say so, I can hear them talk! And today I heard your counselors commenting on the fact I am of a barren womb. They want to find you a lover.”
• Leto froze for a second and sighed as he caressed your shoulders carefully and eventually turned you around so you would face him. He wiped the tears off of your cheeks and kept holding your face tenderly while looking deep into your eyes.
• “They can’t possibly know which one of us is causing the problem. Anyway, it’s only been a year. Some couples need more time. However, one day, the lover might be needed, it’s a fact, my darling, I won’t lie to you, but Caladan needs an heir. It won’t mean anything to me, though, nothing at all. You are my darling wife whom I love deeply and you only,” he confessed and you sniffled all your tears back, staring at him like he was insane.
• “You… You love me…?” you asked in a weak voice and he answered with a nod. “I love you, too, Leto,” you told him and he smiled gently before leaning in to kiss your damp cheeks and eyelids before finally joining your lips together in a sweet kiss.
• “Let’s give each other some time, hm? I don’t want to hear anything about any lover now. You are my lover and always will be in my heart,” he added in a whisper.
• “Perhaps we should try harder,” you proposed shyly.
• “Even harder?” he teased.
• And so you did; every day and every night, whenever and wherever you could. You started to share the chambers at night and fall asleep in each other’s arms, too. Whole palace knew at this point. Some people cheered while others looked at you with a huge dose of doubt that it would work out.
• A few weeks later your medic finally told you the news you wanted to hear for a year now. You were the happiest woman in the Universe when you disturbed Leto’s meeting with his counselors only to announce your pregnancy to him.
• His awful counselors’ eyes widened as Leto approached you to lift you up and swirl you around happily. He placed his hands on your belly the moment he put you down on the floor.
• “That’s where your son is,” you told him with happy tears in the corners of your eyes.
• “Or my daughter. I am not picky, dear wife,” he looked into your eyes and you swore, you fell in love with him even more.
• Your pregnancy was announced to the people of Caladan much later; just in case. At this point the medics could already confirm that you were carrying a Prince.
• Oh, how the behavior of the counselors had changed suddenly. You had never seen them bowing their heads so low and smiling at you so widely – even if most of the smiles were fake. They started to ask about your well-being and the well-being of the little Prince growing inside of you, constantly demanding of you to allow them to touch your belly. It was exhausting but it was bringing you an odd kind of satisfaction to see them like that.
• You started giving birth at night and the whole palace woke up to make sure everything would go smoothly. You had all the medics and maids with you while your husband was holding your hand. He was advised to leave the room but he insisted on staying.
• And he was the first one to hold your son. The medic handed him to Leto while maids were wiping your sweaty face with the cold towels.
• “My Lord, we have to announce the birth of our Prince,” one of the counselors stormed inside with eyes sparkling out of joy after hearing the baby’s crying.
• “Then announce,” Leto gave him a threatening look for interrupting your family moment.
• “People will want to see him and the Duchess, my Lord,” the counselor continued. You sighed and took a deep breath in. You knew it was expected from you and you couldn’t complain, so you tried to gain some strength again even if it seemed to be impossible.
• “People will have to wait. My wife is not ready to face them yet and my son’s just been born. They won’t see him tonight for sure,” Leto told him. “Now leave us,” he added and stopped looking at him at all.
• “Thank you,” you whispered in a raspy voice after the doors closed behind the counselor.
• “No, it’s me who’s thankful. Look at the beautiful son you’ve given me, my love,” he handed you the baby and fixed the hair strands that got stuck to your sweaty forehead.
• Leto doesn’t have very much of a free time as the Duke but he is trying to be around your baby boy whenever he can. He often sits him on his lap while working on the papers at the office and he takes him flying. You don’t like that last part but you know that flying is Leto’s passion so you don’t want to forbid him from doing that, even if it makes you nervous. Especially when he’s taking your boy with him. However, Leto is very responsible and he would never put your baby at risk.
• You are grateful for the maids and nannies you have to help you but you still want to spend most of your time with your son. He is following you around like an adorable puppy, clutching on your skirts and dresses, going on walks with you and picking up flowers with you on the days that aren’t rainy. Leto often watches you two from afar or through the window in his office and his heart grows every time.
• He is willing to find any excuse to leave the work aside for a bit and join you even for a little moment. Your baby boy’s face lightens up every time he sees his daddy approaching you two and he’s running to him with extended arms to be picked up and hugged.
• In fact, all the people of Caladan love their sweet little Prince and treat him like the biggest treasure.
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WILLIAM TELL
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• Being in a relationship with William was never easy. You were a girl from his hometown he would sometimes visit to check on his mother. You were sleeping together when he was around and it wasn’t even a proper relationship, however, you were always waiting for his arrival although you knew that he wasn’t as faithful as you. And you didn’t expect that. It wasn’t like you two were dating.
• One time he proposed that you go with him. That was when you realized that perhaps you meant to him as much as he did to you but he was a man of mystery and a very few words.
• You were traveling with William for two weeks but you grew tired of it. You didn’t like changing places all the time and all the Casinos were exhausting you. You were a domestic type, meanwhile William couldn’t picture himself at home at all. He drove you back to your place and left. Again.
• When he wasn’t around, you would rarely exchange messages or call each other. It just didn’t seem to be in his nature to keep in touch. That was why he was very surprised to see you calling him one evening.
• When you told William about your pregnancy, you didn’t know what to expect but the long silence on the other side of the line was one of the scenarios you had been actually thinking of as possible.
• Eventually, he cleared his throat. “What do you want to do about it?” he asked.
• “I want to keep it,” you took a deep breath in. Another long silence.
• “You know what I’m like. I won’t be around,” he said. “And don’t make me. It’s going to be better this way for the kid.”
• You didn’t know everything about William’s past but this line made you think twice. Did you really want to have a child with him? You didn’t know much about him and he was visiting you once in a few weeks.
• Despite everything, you decided to keep the baby and your parents promised to help you. They were just happy to become grandparents.
• William was sending you money every week and he was calling once in a while but during your pregnancy he didn’t show up even once. You assumed he was scared and you realized he wouldn’t be a part of this child’s life. You were grateful he was at least sending you money unlike so many other men who had abandoned their children by all means of the word.
• After giving birth to a daughter, you called him. He was in some Casino, you could hear the noise in the background. You told him about the baby girl and he only said: “Thank you”.
• However, he suddenly appeared at the hospital the very next day, when you were about to go home. He even brought a teddy bear for his daughter.
• He held her in his arms and kept staring at her in silence. You stood behind him and touched his shoulder to ground him and that was when he laid his eyes on you.
• “I just can’t,” he said. “I wish I was different but I am not. This is who I am.”
• “I know and it’s okay,” what you said was not really true. It was far from okay. You wanted him at home with you and your baby.
• Yet, a few hours later William was already on the road.
• He started to visit more often, though. Your daughter had a bond with her father and she was used to the fact he would spend time with her rarely so she was not crying about it. However, you could sense the sadness in her sometimes; usually seeing other children with their fathers. Your baby girl missed her daddy, too.
• She was calling him almost every evening to tell him about her day and he listened and talked to her. When he visited, he stayed for a few days and took her out to nice and cool places. You would go with them, too, when you could.
• And whenever he visited, he slept in your bed. You never asked him about his life but one night he surprisingly opened up to you.
• “Whatever you think I’m doing out there, it’s not true,” he said when you were laying with your head on his shoulder and drawing circles upon his chest with your finger.
• “What are you talking about?” you looked up to see William’s face lit up by the moonlight coming through the window.
• “I’m not sleeping with anyone but you,” he confessed. You were taken aback by those words.
• “I had no idea,” you admitted. “Why?”
• There was no answer but you assumed he loved you. Of course he wouldn’t say it, though.
• “Our daughter is the only person I’ve said it to in a long time,” he whispered.
• “It’s alright, I don’t need to hear it,” you sighed and hugged him tighter.
• “One day I’ll say it to you,” he promised, “and that will be the day when I stay here.”
• “I’ll be waiting,” you made your promise, too. “We both will, we’re your girls.”
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ORESTES
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• When your father told you that you would marry Orestes, you weren’t very happy about it. Yes, he was a fine young man who was very handsome and had gorgeous hair. But he was known for being impulsive, snarky and arrogant. Not to mention that incident where he had publicly confessed his love for Hypatia.
• Orestes wasn’t very happy to marry you either. In his eyes you were a spoiled brat and nothing more. And you weren’t his beloved Hypatia.
• That made the beginnings of your relationship quite difficult.
• You were arguing a lot with each other all the time and you were sure it was making your servants gossip a lot. You hated that he was seeing you as a complete opposite of Hypatia to the point he couldn’t admit you actually were an educated woman yourself, your father made sure of that. Perhaps you weren’t a known philosopher but you attended many classes in your youth.
• Meanwhile, Orestes hated you criticizing his behavior and your demands for him to act more maturely.
• You didn’t discuss the matter of children and, in fact, you were barely having any occasions to make one despite sharing the same bed at night.
• But Orestes’ change came naturally. His father talked him into becoming a politician and you encouraged that idea as well. Your husband came from a wealthy and influential family, which made his start very easy but it wasn’t the only reason why he became liked quickly. He was smart and young; with a fresh perception of reality. You were starting to like him more and more these days.
• One evening he came home, worried, because he faced problems at work. And, to your surprise, he asked for your advice.
• The advice you gave him made his eyes widen a little. He hadn’t been expecting such wisdom and maturity from you. That was when he realized he had been actually blind when it came to you, too focused on his friendship with Hypatia.
• You started to grow closer. Orestes would often ask for your advice and you began to compliment him instead of scolding him constantly. You could see the change of feelings in him when he became more affectionate and would bring you pretty things each week. Jewelry, perfumes, pergamins and flowers.
• You were the proudest woman in the world when your husband became the Prefect of Alexandria. And on that evening he surprised you once more. “What do you think of children? Would you want them?” he asked.
• “I do find them endearing. Why are you asking?” you batted your eyelashes, pretending not to know.
• “I was thinking… Now, when I have a secure job and everything goes well… Maybe we should have a baby,” he took a deep breath in and watched your face carefully to see a reaction.
• “A baby…? With you…?” you gasped but he misunderstood your answer.
• “I know I’m not perfect, how you were always commenting on my behavior and my immaturity but I think I’ve changed already, have I? Or is it not enough? Then, please, tell me, what should I do for you to want to have my child?” he held your hands to squeeze them as his eyes became watery.
• You realized at that moment how much he truly loved and worshiped you.  And how much you loved this man in return.
• “No, Orestes. I was surprised, that is all. You don’t have to do anything to be worthy of that. I am your wife, you are my husband. I want it,” you told him and raised your hands to wipe his cheeks. “In fact, I’ll be proud and happy to carry your child,” you added and he leaned in to kiss you passionately, almost desperately, like you were his air to breathe.
• You soon realized that was the way Orestes loved – it was like a worship. He had to turn his back on the gods of his youth and his devotion to Christianity was mostly fake in order to get the position of a Prefect. But he was not one of those men who wouldn’t believe in anything. He felt the need to put his faith into something.
• You were his something. Your family was.
• He became a completely different man than the one you had married. You had never seen a husband so devoted to his wife before.
• He would even come back home earlier just to lay with you and caress your belly and give you baths, letting the servants rest.
• And he found you the best medics in the whole of Alexandria to make sure your baby would be delivered safely.
• It was a girl and you had never seen her father happier than on that day, when he was holding her for the first time in his arms.
• Orestes spoils her rotten. He buys the finest silks for her dresses and makes sure she always gets whatever she wishes for. But at the same time he finds her the best tutors in the city to teach her things that usually boys are being taught. He always says that his daughter is not only pretty but also smart – just like her mother – and it is not his intention to waste that talent.
• Your daughter loves to visit her father while he’s at work with you. She always runs up to him and sits on his lap, feeling like she’s the Prefect herself. Orestes finds it adorable and calls her his own Queen of the Nile.
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