Ski Resort
Synopsis: After declaring her intention to leave medicine forever, Charlie must join the Diagnostics Team for one more case before Ethan will let her retire. But once they’re trapped in the ski resort, Charlie gets tangled in the mystery, and she begins to wonder if she should really leave medicine or if it’s time to come back.
Chapter 26 of the “with and without” series
Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)
Words: 5.5k (sorry, I tried so hard to cut it down)
Rating: Teen
Also available on AO3 & Wattpad (link in Masterlist)
The drive to the ski resort was uncomfortably quiet. Ethan and Charlie didn't speak a word, not even when Baz tried to play car games or entertain the captive group with stories.
No, Ethan and Charlie weren't going to speak – or rather, Ethan wasn't going to speak until Charlie did, and Charlie wasn't going to say a thing.
The fight in Ethan's office had cooled to begrudging acceptance. Despite her objections, Charlie put on her coat, read the patient information, and piled in the car with the rest of the diagnostics team just as Ethan insisted. But her cooperation extended only that far.
Ethan was sure that she was furious in the back seat – so sure that he kept looking back to her in the rearview to see if her expression had soured any further.
But Ethan wasn't right about everything.
Charlie wasn't angry – or if she was, it was secondarily not primarily.
She was anxious.
Anxious to be back at work and interacting with critical patients when her confidence in herself and her skills had never been lower. Anxious to stand on the precipice of her entire future – for if she failed today, she wouldn't be a doctor, and if she didn't, she'd have to face fears buried deep in her soul.
It wasn't that she held her tongue because she would have hurled insults otherwise. She held her tongue because she simply couldn't bear to say anything at all.
June and Baz sensed the discomfort, though they were kind enough to not comment on it. Baz tried his best to lessen the uneasiness with music and diverting conversion, none of which stuck. June was more intrigued, maybe even suspicious.
They'd both been surprised when Charlie joined the expedition after her long absence, but Baz was much more willing to accept the sudden return and be thankful for it. June couldn't shake her curiosity.
After all, why had Charlie suddenly returned from leave for this one case? Why was the relationship between Charlie and Ethan, which had once been friendly, now so tense?
Being scrutinized only made Charlie feel worse.
It was a relief for all parties when they arrived at the ski resort.
Any other day, Charlie would have stopped and marveled at the sight.
Perfect, white snow coated the landscape and the resort. Smoke billowed from the central fireplace, promising warmth and comfort inside. Snow-capped trees climbed Mount Dagger and dotted the landscape. Even with layers and layers of footprints marring the snow and a large resort looming in the background, this place felt serene and untouched somehow.
It was so different from the heat and sunshine Charlie had grown up with.
Part of her wished she could have leaned into Ethan and marveled at the place, letting him tease her for her unfamiliarity and inexperience with snow. She realized that winter had only been pain and survival for them. She had the urge to change that somehow – to throw a snowball or challenge him to make snow angels.
But instead, Charlie just trudged along, keeping the urges to herself and remaining silent.
The owner, Rodney, was a friend of Ethan's. He greeted them all warmly and thanked them for their time. On the way to the patient's room, he offered charming anecdotes about Ethan's childhood and their friendship. Charlie wished she could have engaged more, but it was all becoming too real. In mere moments, she would be a working doctor again – a dream that had become a nightmare.
Paula and her son, Timothy, waited in their hotel room.
In the end, they weren't nearly as frightening as Charlie had imagined them. The entire drive, she morphed her patient experience into that of death and destruction, and she'd forgotten how mundane interactions could really be. Even Paula's defiance and complaints felt tame in the face of all Charlie had been through.
During the initial interview, Charlie didn't resume the active role she'd once had on the team. Instead, it was Ethan who drove the questioning, with June acting as his secondary. The team had found their new rhythm in her absence, and they seemed to know that Charlie was purposefully not stepping into her old shoes.
Ethan was disappointed.
To an outsider, she would have looked like a student rather than a member of the team. She stood in the back of the group, her mouth closed and ideas kept to herself. It could have read as disinterest, though Ethan highly doubted Charlie could confront a mystery and not be enthralled. No, it must have been something else. Anger maybe. Perhaps she wasn't ready, just as she'd warned him in the hospital.
During the interview, Ethan managed to look back at Charlie and examine her without anyone noticing.
And what he found prompted a sigh of relief.
She wasn't disinterested.
Charlie's eyes were bright and alive with curiosity. She was listening attentively, her expression changing slightly with each new piece of information. She must be cataloging it, saving it, and allowing it to simmer until it attached to a theory. Even if she wasn't speaking, she was here. She was part of the team, part of the future solution. He could see it in her now– the passion and empathy he'd recognized in her so early in her intern year.
He found himself hoping it would be enough to make her stay.
Enough to make her realize she wanted to stay.
It distracted him from the interview.
Not that he was missing much anyway. Paula, the patient, was particularly uncooperative. It took considerable prodding – and her son’s insistence – to get Paula to say anything at all.
But Ethan’s attention quickly returned when Paula's behavior suddenly shifted.
June and Baz talking to each other, quietly exposing the confusion amongst the team about Paula's bizarre symptoms. Nothing about the conversation was particularly unusual, but to a distrustful woman like Paula, it was enough to prove incompetence on the team's part.
With an eerie light in her eyes, Paula interrupted to say, "It sounds like you have no idea what you're talking about."
She said it with such airy mirth that the comment was unsettling.
Then, to the horror of everyone in the room, the formerly austere Paula's face split into a wild, frenzied laugh. Her posture had changed – so had her facial expressions. Ethan took a step closer and realized that the disturbing glimmer in her eyes was the dark of her pupil as it dilated.
The team looked at each other in horror and shock.
"Paula, are you feeling alright?" Charlie asked. These were the first unprompted words she'd spoken since the introductions.
"I feel great! Why the hell wouldn't I? I'm stuck on a mountain with a load of incompetent doctors!" Paula's voice dissolved into laughter. It was too loud. Too open. Too long.
The diagnostics team looked to each other, and in a silent consensus, they followed Ethan's lead to the hallway. Once the door closed behind them, they abandoned their polite, neutral expressions to show their true concern.
"It looks like a manic episode. If her brain trauma is extensive enough to cause that…." Ethan trailed off, only for Charlie to finish.
"We need to get her to a hospital as soon as possible. Can we call for a helicopter?"
“Doubtful,” Baz frowned, “During the interview, the storm was upgraded to a blizzard. We wouldn’t have time for a helicopter, and the roads are already being shut down.”
“But we just got here!” Charlie fought it, not that she was sure why she did. The entire drive up, the snow had gotten progressively worse. Even from inside Paula’s room, she could tell the weather was turning.
“Then we’re stuck here,” June announced, ignoring Charlie’s outburst, “We’ll have to monitor Paula all night in case her condition worsens.”
Charlie frowned.
This was not how she wanted her first case back to go.
The patient showed unusual symptoms and potential mania, all while they were trapped in a ski resort by a blizzard? This had death and destruction written all over it.
Had Ethan taken the time to consider it, he would have reached the same dim conclusion.
But fortunately for him, he was more distracted by managing the crisis. With little time before the snow made movement impossible to leave the lodge, Ethan decided to find the source of Paula’s rash on the mountain. Charlie objected on safety grounds, but Ethan went out anyway. In his absence, the team conducted a few tests and settled the room arrangements with Rodney. Ethan returned safely, just a bit cold and damp from the snow, and with the cause of the rash. It was poison sumac, he announced. Unrelated to the other symptoms, unfortunately, but at least they could rule other things out.
Only moments later, the blizzard captured the resort captured the resort and trapped the occupants inside.
To his surprise, Charlie wasn’t impressed by his discovery or his quick return. She was annoyed he’d gone out in the first place. And he suspected she was irritated to be here at all.
He wondered if he was pushing her too far, if his plan to show her the best parts of their job had been flawed. If he had been flawed.
If he was doing more harm than good.
Then June pulled out the hotel keys to present them to everyone.
There were four.
The extra room key stung.
It shouldn’t have.
Of course, they couldn’t stay in the same room on a work trip. He shouldn’t have expected anything different.
But something about it made him feel… distant from her.
Like he’d created a wall between them in this whole endeavor, a wall made physical by the separate rooms. Though he’d done it thousands of nights before, Ethan suddenly couldn’t imagine sleeping without her, her body warm beside him and her fragrant curls straying to his side of the bed. He wanted her to forgive him, though he wasn’t sure what for.
In an ideal world, they would have talked about it.
He would have checked on her.
But instead, in a whirlwind of arrangements and discussions, Ethan began his shift, and Charlie followed Baz and June to find their rooms.
Charlie hadn’t planned on staying, so she had nothing to unpack except for a phone charger from her purse and a laptop borrowed from Edenbrook. She didn’t relish the idea of sleeping in her bulky jeans or shivering in the cold night, but there was nothing she could do about that in a blizzard.
It was a relief to warm herself in a hot shower, but after, the room felt too lonely. Unsure what to do with herself, she searched for Baz and June. She found them both at the bar, which fortunately hadn’t been affected by the outside storm.
They sat by the fire with medical journals and drinks – and smores, in Baz’s case. When Charlie entered, they gave her their full attention.
They were genuinely happy to see her return.
They still believed in her, it seemed.
Not that she should be surprised, she reminded herself.
But she was a little.
She’d forgotten how it felt to be the prodigy, not the shattered impersonation of one.
Baz couldn’t contain his excitement and even went as far as to buy her bourbon in celebration, “I’m so happy you’re back! We’ve missed you, Charlie. It hasn’t been the same without you.”
“He tells the truth,” June confirmed, looking a little amused with her colleague’s enthusiasm.
Charlie didn’t know what to say, so she blushed and let Baz fill in the silence – not that he noticed. He had lots to say.
“To our star resident! You’ve been through hell and back, and we’re so proud of how far you’ve come. For you to have survived that and stand here ready to be a doctor again is brave, Charlie,” Baz emphasized in his toast, oblivious to the fact he was only making Charlie more nervous.
Charlie weakly raised her glass, tapping it against June’s and Baz’s.
June’s eyes settled on Charlie’s unsteady smile.
Which only made Charlie more unsteady.
“I can’t believe you’re really back and that Ethan didn’t even give us a warning! For weeks, he said you needed more time, and then, he surprised us. You two were probably in on it together,” Baz laughed good-naturedly, “So, are you back permanently now?”
I have no idea, she thought.
She didn’t know if she’d make it through this case, let alone if she’d take on another.
Her future was too uncertain, her confidence too shaken to answer.
“Um,” Charlie stammered, looking for an answer that didn’t expose her as a nervous wreck, “We’ll see how it works out with my remaining leave, I guess,” she answered noncommittally.
It was the wrong answer.
Too uncommitted. Not enough enthusiasm. Recognizable nerves.
It exposed something that Charlie wanted to hide. It showed how little she controlled this situation, how little she controlled everything. She didn’t know what would happen or what she wanted to happen. It was such a stark contrast from the determined, headstrong intern she’d once been.
If Baz noticed, he took it in stride and said he hoped she would be back full time soon. Then, he started telling her about all she’d missed – leaving out Levi, of course.
June noticed, though.
She sensed Charlie’s unease, and as a result, she stared. And studied.
Charlie became increasingly uncomfortable as the subject of June’s fascination. She felt like she might crack, like June would see through her if she was given enough time.
She began to feel like an imposter trying to fill her old role, and the deception of it all made her sick.
Charlie couldn’t stay for the rest of the evening, not if she was going to survive the night.
So, Charlie finished her bourbon a little too quickly, and to Baz’s disappointment, she excused herself to review online journals on her laptop. June wasn’t surprised she was leaving, though she politely said goodnight anyway.
Maybe June suspected Charlie’s weakness all along.
Maybe she was the smart one. Maybe she saw the truth that Ethan and Baz couldn’t – that Charlie was irreparably broken.
Even with the distance of a few floors separating them, Charlie felt haunted by the exchange – and maybe even still watched by June.
Charlie wanted to prove herself. She wanted to be the old star resident again, though she wondered if she had it in her.
The research proved fascinating, though research had never been a problem for Charlie. She loved learning, and she was always captivated by cases like this. Still, Paula’s case was an enigma, and Charlie went between journals, online textbooks, and her own observations over and over until her eyes burned. When she couldn’t focus anymore, she decided to take a walk and check on Paula. With any luck, she’d gain valuable information through questioning or observation. Even if learned nothing, it would be nice to see Ethan, someone who knew about her trauma and still believed in her enough to bring her here.
Charlie was halfway to Paula’s room when she spotted a familiar face.
“Timothy?” Charlie called out.
Timothy, the patient’s son, stopped mid-stride in shock. He probably didn’t think that anyone else in this hotel knew him.
“I’m one of your mom’s doctors,” Charlie explained quickly, hoping to put him at ease.
It worked. Timothy relaxed a bit, though he remained rigid enough to protect the cup of herbal tea he was carrying. Another mug for his mom, Charlie suspected. She worried that this meant her symptoms were getting worse.
“I’m on your way to your mother’s room. Do you mind if I walk with you?” Charlie asked. During the interview, Timothy had been more forthcoming than his mother, and if Paula became more uncooperative, he would be their only hope. And she worried for the boy. It had to be scary to watch something like this happen to your mother.
Timothy agreed, and they walked together quietly. After a few quiet moments, Charlie commented, “That’s very sweet of you to bring your mother some tea. You’ve been a very good caretaker, Timothy. That’s brave of you, and I want you to know you’re doing a good job, though you should also take care of yourself tonight.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m used to it,” Timothy said sheepishly, looking into the cup of tea with a shy smile.
Charlie’s interest was piqued.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just mom and me at home, so I take care of her.”
“What do you take care of, Timothy?”
Timothy frowned like he’d said something wrong.
“We’re here to help,” Charlie assured him, “So if she has a condition you’ve been helping her with, it’s okay. Just let us know. It may be interacting with or causing her current ailment.”
Timothy looked at Charlie thoughtfully. Almost too thoughtfully.
Charlie was sure there was something he wanted to tell her, or at least something he should tell her.
But all he said was, “It’s nothing really. We’re doing better now.”
Better from what? she thought.
Timothy suddenly looked down and frowned further.
“Is something wrong?”
“I forgot my bag in the lobby when I went to make the tea….”
“I can go get it for you.”
“No,” Timothy insisted too quickly.
Charlie was startled.
“Well, I can bring the tea if you want….” Charlie offered, her voice soft.
“She wouldn’t take it from you,” Timothy shook his head, his eyes softer now. Almost like he was apologetic for his mom’s violent dislike of doctors.
Charlie didn’t want to let Timothy go, especially when he was clearly hiding something, but he insisted she go ahead to the room without him. Not wanting to alienate him, Charlie reluctantly complied.
Once Charlie was in Paula’s room, she almost forgot about her strange encounter with Timothy. The change in Paula was drastic. Her boisterous laughter had faded into dreary silence. She laid in the bed silent and unmoving, her face blank and cold. Even the room felt darker, like all of the energy had been drained as depression gripped the primary occupant.
Ethan was stationed in the corner of the room, and he greeted Charlie with a silent nod.
“How long has this been going on?” Charlie whispered as she approached.
“About an hour,” Ethan frowned.
“I ran into the son in the hallway. I think there’s a preexisting condition they’re hiding from us,” Charlie lowered her voice even further to keep from being heard.
“Hmm,” Ethan raised his eyebrows with intrigue.
“I’m working on it,” she assured him.
Before they could talk any further, Timothy entered with a cup of tea and a bookbag in tow. He dropped the bag by the door, letting it slouch near Ethan and Charlie as he rushed to his mother’s side to deliver the tea. His bag’s zipper was half-undone, revealing some of the contents.
Charlie couldn’t help but look.
A notebook. Headphones. Pencils and pens. What looked like a few pages of math homework. Teabags, presumably from the herbal tea.
All normal stuff for a high schooler.
Still, she tilted her head just a bit more.
Some socks. A bag of –
A bag of pills.
Charlie’s head jerked to attention.
Why would he have a bag of pills? Was he abusing them?
Charlie was about to elbow Ethan and draw his attention to it when Timothy returned for the bag, zipping it back up and slinging it over his shoulder. If he noticed her stare, he didn’t let on.
Everything that was said after that was a blur. Charlie was wracking her brain trying to mentally identify the pill, but she didn’t recognize it. If only she knew what it was, maybe she could help.
When June arrived to take her shift, Charlie took it as her opportunity to return to her room to research medications commonly used or abused by teenagers.
Ethan, oblivious to her new mission, was disappointed by how quickly she ran away. He’d been excited when she came to check on Paula. He thought she was getting back into medicine, but now she was running away from it – and him.
He’d hoped to talk to her once he was off duty.
But Charlie didn’t even realize she’d slighted him.
She spent the next forty-five minutes trying to find a match for the pill.
Nothing jumped out at her. The pill she saw didn’t seem to be commonly abused, nor was it coming up in her research. Could it be a regular vitamin? If so, why would he have it in a bag? Or was it a street drug not listed in these databases?
Without interruption, she might have spent the whole night in this fruitless search.
She was lucky Ethan knocked on the door.
Knock. Knock.
Her train of thought was rudely interrupted, she thought, and she was reluctant to abandon her computer and greet the intruder. Had there not been a patient, she might have been annoyed enough to wait for a second knock.
When she saw Ethan, her mind went back to that room – to Paula.
She forgot that there was any other reason he might be coming to see her.
Like the fact that this was her first time back to work or that he was her boyfriend.
“Are Paula and Timothy alright?” Charlie blurted out, skipping introductions as she assumed the worst.
“Oh…” Ethan was a little knocked back, “Yes. They’re fine.”
“Oh,” Charlie was relieved but now a bit confused.
He stared at her.
Didn’t she understand why he was here? Why wasn’t she inviting him inside?
For a second, she’d gotten so into her job that she’d forgotten everything else – even how much her job terrified her.
“I came to check on you,” Ethan announced finally.
This jolted Charlie’s memory, and she quickly moved back from the door, letting him enter.
Her room was smaller than his, he noted. He found himself hoping she wouldn’t sleep in it tonight. He wanted her by his side. He wanted the assurance that he hadn’t lost her by pushing her too hard.
“How are you doing?” Ethan asked as he crossed the room, silently appraising her living arrangements. By the state of the crumbled comforter, it looked like she’d been researching on her laptop for most of the night.
“Alright, I guess” Charlie murmured, a little unsure of herself.
Their case was an enigma, and their patient was rapidly detreating in a blizzard. A teen had mystery pills in his backpack. June was now studying her. All day, Charlie had been teetering between genuine passion for her job and the feeling of insufficiently filling her old role.
How well could she really be doing?
But she also couldn’t say that she was miserable. She wasn’t as sure of her decision to leave as she had been this morning, nor was she convinced that medicine was all death and destruction.
The best way to describe Charlie was unsteady. Unsure, even.
She just had to survive this case.
Ethan, unsatisfied with her answer, awkwardly paced her small hotel room. She watched.
Finally, he turned to her, and finding the courage to say the words he’d prepared for the last hour, he said, “I’ve been thinking, and I wanted to apologize. I pushed you a lot today. At the time, I thought it was right. In fact, I still think it was right, but… it wasn’t fair.”
Charlie couldn’t believe Ethan was apologizing. Any other day, she might have even gloated. But today, she squirmed, equally unnerved by the situation. Maybe even more so.
Ethan waited for her response, trying so hard to be patient but failing miserably. He couldn’t fathom that he might have misjudged her limits and ruined everything.
It felt like an eternity before she spoke.
“It’s okay… I needed to come back before I decided. Maybe not so abruptly but…” Charlie trailed off, the edge of a smile on her lips. There was a glint in her eyes, and he realized she was poking fun at him.
He was relieved.
“You’ve done really well today,” Ethan ventured, “I’m proud of you.”
Charlie shook her head sheepishly, “I barely spoke.”
“But you were listening.”
“You can’t pretend I’m the same as I was.”
“You don’t have to be the same to be a good doctor, Charlie.”
Charlie bit her lower lip as she averted her gaze.
He took that as an invitation to be bolder, “I think you should come back permanently.”
“What?” Charlie’s eyes shot back to him, the shock in her eyes verging on indignation.
“The team agrees. It’s time, Charlie,” Ethan knew he was stuck now. He couldn’t take it back or soothe the storm that was brewing.
“You spoke to the team?” her gaze grew harder.
“I wanted you to know that you had full faith in you!” Ethan explained.
“June’s already watching me like there’s something wrong with me! Now you’ve just given her more reason to study me,” Charlie shook her head, frustration rising through her veins, “Why would you do that before talking to me?”
“You need to know that we believe in you, Charlotte,” Ethan said quite defensively, “We want you on the team.”
“I haven’t even made it through this case. What makes you think I’m ready to take on another?”
“Because you’re you. You’re not even out of residency yet, and you’re pulling your weight among experts. You’re discovering preexisting conditions none of us ever knew about-“
“Of which we have no proof!” Charlie interrupted.
“You’re still closer to an answer than any of us are,” Ethan said firmly, “And even when you’re scared, like you are now, you still care. You’re a good doctor. Great, even. You’ll be better than me one day. But you’re giving up-“
“Giving up?” Charlie repeated incredulously, “That’s what you think I’m doing?”
“You have a gift!”
“I almost died,” Charlie emphasized, “Every time a patient comes in with a mystery illness and no hope, I know what that feels like. I relive the worst day of my life through their eyes, and I know I can’t save them all. And you think I’m just giving up?”
“I didn’t mean it like that, Charlie,” Ethan said, suddenly ashamed, “I’m trying to help you. I love you, and I know you love medicine. I don’t want you to lose that because of a premature decision.”
“So, you think you’re helping me by making me do what I don’t want?”
Ethan frowned, “When it feels like it’s for the best, yes… But it’ll get better.”
Charlie paused.
And then something clicked.
And the fight – and Ethan’s dumb words – were forgotten.
“Wait,” she mumbled, “Making me do what I don’t want…”
“Yes, I know, and I’m sorry. But I really am trying to help,” Ethan tried, oblivious to the shift in Charlie’s mind.
She ignored him, rushing to her computer.
“What are you doing?” Ethan asked incredulously, watching as she frantically typed something into her computer. Again, she ignored him.
Her eyes the screen until they landed on the pill she’d seen in Timothy’s bag.
“I know what’s wrong with Paula.”
Ethan dropped his defensive stance and rushed to her side, hoping he’d understand by looking at her screen. But all he saw was a medication.
“There’s a bag of lithium in Timothy’s backpack. He said he’s been taking care of her for a long time but that she got better recently. I think he’s drugging her with this.”
“Her mood swings…” Ethan’s jaw almost dropped.
“He’s probably been trying to treat her for bipolar disorder on his own. You saw how she was with doctors. I doubt she would have gone in for treatment,” Charlie felt a knot form in her stomach. Even though she was sure of her hypothesis, she hoped it wasn’t true.
“And they gave her ibuprofen to treat her head injury,” Ethan swallowed heavily.
“We have to get her to a hospital.”
“And talk to Timothy.”
As if reading each other’s minds, they abandoned the laptop in Charlie’s room and raced to Paula’s room where they found Timothy waiting by his sleeping mother, looking exhausted but sleepless with worry.
Unfortunately, Charlie’s theory was correct.
Timothy confessed, and Charlie’s heart broke as they explained the repercussions of his actions as well as the severity of what he had done wrong. She felt for him, for what he must have gone through to think such action was necessary. But she couldn’t excuse his decision to medicate her without her consent, especially given the consequences. The lithium and ibuprofen combined to form a disastrous chain reaction, one that lasted even after they discovered the cause.
It took hours for the storm to clear enough for the helicopters to take Paula to the hospital.
While they waited, Charlie and Ethan sat in his room – a romantic suite with a view of the snowy mountains. It felt like a waste now. A romantic night they could have had, if Charlie hadn’t solved such a sad mystery. She was tired, though she wouldn’t admit it. At some point, she drifted to sleep, and Ethan held her, his fingers running through her hair as he kissed her temple and quietly congratulated her on her solve.
“I always knew you’d be the one to solve it,” he whispered.
“Why?” she murmured, “Were you holding back?”
“No, because you’re smarter than me,” he chuckled.
Charlie was smiling when she fell asleep.
When she woke up, the mood had shifted back to panic.
The helicopter on its way, and the team needed to follow. June and Baz took the helicopter with Paula and Timothy, and Ethan and Charlie drove the car back once the roads opened. The team called a few times to share updates and ask for advice.
But for most of the drive, Ethan held Charlie’s hand in silence.
The case was over.
She could back to her life in the apartment where she hid from the world and pushed herself just a little day by day, building her tolerance safely. She could tell Ethan he was wrong. Or she could stay.
And the truth was… she couldn’t imagine going back now.
Not now that she remembered what it was like on the good days – ones where she made the solve and saved the day. Ones where she realized she made a difference, that she solved things other people couldn’t.
It was okay to be scared.
Even as the words were on the tip of her tongue, she was terrified.
“My answer is yes.”
Ethan’s eyes momentarily drifted from the road to her, “What?”
“To your question last night. I want to come back permanently.”
Ethan felt like he could crash the car out of pure shock.
“Are you sure?”
“I mean… not really. I’m scared, but I think it’s time,” Charlie nodded her head, trying to project the confidence she wanted to once more possess.
“We can wait for you if you need more time,” Ethan assured her, struggling to keep his eyes on the highway and not right at her.
“I know,” Charlie confirmed, “But now is the time. I can’t retire, and I can’t wait forever to go back. I’ll never be 100% ready, so I just have to jump in.”
Ethan’s heart was beating so fast that Charlie felt it as she held his hand.
“Are you really, really sure?” Ethan clarified just one more time.
“Yes,” Charlie laughed, a smile lingering on her lips.
He looked at her. Briefly, of course. He was driving, after all.
And then his face broke out in a face-splitting grin.
“I’m so proud of you, Rookie,” he brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles, “You’re amazing! I love you! I love you so much.”
His happiness was infectious. So infectious that she forgot about the fear.
And she laughed.
“You haven’t called me Rookie in a long time,” she squeezed his hand softly, and he cast a sideways glance at her.
“Do you still like being called Rookie?”
“Yes,” she smiled so warmly it practically radiated off of her.
And he loved her. He really did.
“Well then, I love you, Rookie,” he smirked, “And I owe you a romantic ski vacation.”
“Bold of you to assume I know how to ski.”
“And I owe you ski lessons, I suppose,” he murmured affectionately.
“You also owe me a kiss when we stop this car,” Charlie added.
He looked over at her – and quite recklessly because they were doctors and knew what could happen when young lovers were stupid on highways – he kissed her. Quickly, of course. Softly. But lovingly.
And even if she regretted it tomorrow and the world caved again, she was glad she was back today.
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