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Hearse of Empress Elisabeth of Austria
Every gorgeous detail feeds my dark little soul 🖤
REFUSAL TO MOURN
In lieu of
i only know the softness / that is cherished before / the small violences set in
— Akwaeke Emezi, “mourning,” Content Warning: Everything
we’ve been witnessing mass death for a long time. it accelerated globally in 2020. even after we surpassed over a million deaths, even after mass shooting after mass shooting, even after a formula shortage, even after heavy inflation during another surge of covid in an increasingly hot climate, we’re expected to carry on the next day. we’re expected to wake up & go to school and work as if whole worlds hadn’t just been taken away. we’re expected to perform our tasks the same, if not more efficiently.
the reason we can carry on as laborers is because we are collectively experiencing a shocking state of numbness. it’s not that we don’t feel deeply for each event, it’s that our grief physically can’t keep up with everything there is to mourn. we need to stop, we need to sit down and mourn for a long, long time. this is a world built on us working through the unimaginable until we die. it’s a world built on robbing us of time to do anything, but especially mourn. it’s a deep physical and emotional need that is not being met. let yourself be mad, be despondent, be sad, be deep in grief. companies don’t like people who are outwardly grieving, and that is what we must do collectively. every time we lose someone to a mass shooting everyone who can should call in saying they cant work because they lost someone. because we all did, we lost humans to another senseless act of cruel violence. and the world should stop, just like the people who lost their family member’s worlds stopped.
i hope you take time to sit and remember the tragic things that have happened the past couple of years. that you give yourself the love and respect to acknowledge how hard it is to exist in a world that robs us of everything, including your right to being a human in grief.
there’s no peace to be found in any of this and there never should be.
Mourning clothes worn by count Magnus Brahe at the funeral of king Karl XIV Johan of Sweden in 1844.
Count Nils Magnus Brahe (1790–1844) was a Swedish statesman and soldier, known as the influential favorite of king Karl XIV Johan of Sweden.
According to family history, Amelia Jane Carley (1844–1892) wore this dress at her marriage to William Edward Chess (1842–1926) in 1868 in West Virginia, the half-mourning colors chosen in honor of those who died during the Civil War. Both bride and groom were fortunate not to have lost any immediate family during the war, though Ms. Carley’s brother and Mr. Chess served in the Union Army. This family narrative suggests that the bride chose shades of mourning in response to the widespread losses suffered during the war rather than to memorialize an individual. A subdued palette of gray and black may have felt more respectful than a showier bridal gown while so many families still grieved. Etiquette manuals and women’s magazines frequently offered guidance for brides whose weddings intersected with a period of mourning, though the choice of dress under such circumstances often reflected a woman’s personal judgment rather than prescriptive advice.
The MET (Accession Number: C.I.53.68.1a–e)
Sad & Mourning Songs 😢 Crying Yourself to sleep Spotify Playlist
An illustration from Harper’s New Monthly Magazine, 1850, of a woman crying. INTERNET ARCHIVE/PUBLIC DOMAIN
Hands of Grief waist jewelry. Handmade by InHerBones and currently available Inherbones.bigcartel.com
Steel, black onyx & glass, fine pewter.
You are allowed to mourn your childhood.
Linda Pastan, from The Five Stages of Grief: Poems; "Old Woman"
Victorian Mourning Brooch, 19th century
The Arabian Horsemen at Herod's Bier
Oil on Canvas
34″ x 45″
Iron jewelry, also called Berlin Ironwork jewelry because it was primarily made in Berlin, was popular in the early 1800s. It came to prominence during the Napoleonic Wars when the Prussian Royal Family asked citizens to donate their gold and silver to fund the war effort. People would turn in their gold jewelry and receive iron jewelry in return which would typically be inscribed with Gold gab ich für Eisen/I Gave Gold for Iron or Für das Wohl des Vaterlands/For the Good of the Fatherland. Since it was black in color from the linseed oil or lacquer coating it could be used for mourning but was more frequently used as a way for people to show their patriotism and resistance to Napoleon. The designs followed other jewelry trends at the time like cameos and naturalistic elements. The style spread to other countries and remained popular until the mid-1800s. Because of the brittle, rust prone nature of iron few examples survive today.
Iron Cameo & Leaf Tiara, circa 1810, Albion Art Institute
Iron Cameo Tiara, Faerber Collection
Iron Cameo Tiara, circa 1820, Rheinische Eisenkunstguss-Museum
Iron Tiara, Nordiska Museet
Gothic Window Iron Tiara, circa 1825, Hunt Museum
Iron Cameo Tiara, circa 1830, Kunstmuseum Den Haag
Iron Cameo Tiara, circa 1830, Berlin Museum
Iron Tiara, Tekniska Museet
Tiara Materials 2 of ∞